Sorry. What did he do . Sorry. Thats peoples work. Leave it be. Hes an idiot. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, everythings coming up covid. Plus stephen welcomes andy cohen and musical guest phoebe bridgers. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Yesterday, for the 41st straight day, the sevenday average of new Coronavirus Infections in the u. S. Went up. Turns out doing nothing does nothing. But were learning more about exactly why the administration is doing so little. Part of the problem white house chief of staff and toddler who refuses to go potty, mark meadows. Apparently, behind the scenes, has been particularly forceful in his view that the white house should avoid drawing attention to the virus. Oh, yeah, whenever theres an historic crisis, the less said the better. Like uncle sam said in those wartime recruitment posters i want you. To fuggedaboutit. You might be thinking, they completely shanked this pandemic, if only someone was on the tv everyday lying about it. Great news. Trooper is bringing about coronavirus briefings. Too bad. Hoping he was going to disappear with the warmer weather. We had record numbers watching. Theres never been anything like it. Stephen of course theyre watching its a captive audience lets see, i could watch life saving information about the virus that could kill me and everyone i love or a rerun of diners, driveins and dives. Ugh, this is the one where he chokes on a pork chop. Too disturbing. Corona it is its an actual remote control. Thats the budget you get with network. And remember, this spring, trump quit holding the briefings after he was mocked widely for suggesting that people might be able to counter the virus by ingesting or injecting bleach. He had huge ratings for the same reason he stopped doing them because they were a disaster. as trump you shouldve seen when that train derailed off the bridge. So many people stopped to watch it. Sorry. My train just derailed. The president also gave an insight into the secret of his high ratings. Ill do it at 5 oclock like we were doing. We had a good slot stephen as trump we had a great slot. Right before jeopardy, which is what im putting everyones lives in. Im not even sure how informative these things are going to be, because, according to aides, President Trump no longer attends Coronavirus Task force meetings because he does not have time. as trump look, im way too busy to care about human life. What . Therell be cameras . Make way for daddy. The president might finally be pretending to take the virus seriously because, after months of eschewing masks, suddenly, hes schewing them. This afternoon, he tweeted we are united in our effort to defeat the invisible china virus, and many people say that it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you cant socially distance. Stephen okay, first of all invisible china virus . All viruses are invisible. Its why you fight them with vaccines and not a matador. He continued, there is nobody more patriotic than me, your favorite president which is it . You, or my favorite president . Because at this point, youre not in my top 45. Yeah, james k. Polk. We got a preview of what the new coronavirus briefings will be like yesterday when trump did an interview on Fox News Sunday on sunday on fox news. He was interviewed by chris wallace, and they talked about and im rounding down here everything. The main topic was the stillraging coronavirus pandemic. Wallace pointed out that cases were up 194 nationwide, but trump wasnt worried. Many of those cases are young people that would heal in a day. They have the sniffles and we put it down as a test. Stephen mr. President , you cant downplay this virus by calling it the sniffles. People arent dying of lung booboos or brain ouchies. Hes also tried to minimize spikes in case numbers by calling them embers. And wallace called him on it but this isnt burning embers, sir . This is a forest fire. No, no. But i dont say i say flames, well put out the flames. And well put out in some cases just burning embers. We also have burning embers. We have embers and we do have flames. Florida became more flame like. Stephen yes. Florida has become more inflamed. And thats not easy. Even before this, the state was 50 illegal fireworks, 32 meth lab explosions, 10 sunburn, and 8 herpes. Does that add up to 100 . I think it might. Im not sure. Wallace continued to hold trumps feet to the embers, pointing out americas high mortality rate we have the seventh highest mortality rate in the world. Our mortality rate is higher than brazil, its higher than russia. When you talk about mortality rates, i think its the opposite. I think we have one of the lowest mortality rates in the world. Its not true, sir. We had we had 900 deaths on a single day. We will take a look. Ready . Can you please get me the mortality rates . Kayleighs right here. I heard we have one of the lowest, maybe the lowest mortality rate anywhere in the world. Do you have the numbers, please . Because i heard we had the best mortality rate. Dr. Birx points out and this is number one low mortality rates. Stephen wow, thats an impressive stat and its completely wrong. Can we see trumps source for that . Kayleigh, can we see that . Oh, great, here we go. He got that stat out of his ass. There you go. Thank you. Thank you, kaylie. Wallace called out trumps prediction that the virus would just go away in the summer. You made mistakes too. I guess everybody makes mistakes. Ill be right eventually. I will be right eventually. Stephen you cant use eventually as an excuse for not doing your job. Like a plumber saying oh, yeah, your toilet will stop overflowin eventually. Like if the building collapses, or the earth is consumed in the everexpanding sun. Or perhaps in the ultimate inertial heat death of the universe. What im saying is those legos are really jammed in there. Wallace then asked trump about dr. Fauci hes a little bit of an alarmist. Thats ok. A little bit of an alarmist. Hes a bit of an alarmist . Little bit of an alarmist. Stephen faucis job is to sound the alarm about epidemics. Im glad trump wasnt around during the revolutionary war. as trump paul revere, little bit of an alarmist. Theres one case of redcoats coming and im pretty sure theyll disappear when it gets warmer. One if by land, two if by sea, none if by bleach. The conversation then turned t 2020 campaign, and trump had some choice madeup words about his opponent biden wants to defund the police. Sir, he does not. Look, he signed a charter with bernie sanders; i will get that one just like i was right on the mortality rate. Did you read the charter that he agrees it says nothing about defunding the police. Stephen come on, chris trump idnt come on fox news to get factchecked talk to your colleagues when trump lies, you put on a blank, dead stare, like your brain has turned into delicious polenta. Heres where the interview got really sad. Lately, trump has been bragging nonstop about passing a cognitive test. Reminder passing this test is not impressive. It checks for things like brain damage, asking real stumpers like name these three animals. Making it the most difficult test trump has taken since the one where he had to get all the pee in the cup. Its chilling to see the most powerful man in the world bragging that he passed a test they give people to find out whether they should be allowed to take the bus by themselves. as trump i nailed it, and you should see my apgar scores. The doctor touched me right here, i was able to find the nipple, and then i paid him 130,000. Now wallace said he took the test, and it wasnt that hard. You got to identify an elephant. But trump pointed out the questions get way harder its all misrepresentation, because, yes, the first few questions are easy. But ill bet you couldnt even answer the last five questions. Ill bet you couldnt. They get very hard. Stephen yes, those are the tough ones. According to a sample version of the test, the last five questions are, and this is real name the day, month, year, place, and city. Right now, i would say march 123rd, 2000 andalways, hell, and crazytown. Just when you thought the Trump Presidency couldnt get any darker, we now have horrifying footage from portland, oregon of masked, unidentified federal troops snatching protesters off the streets without a warrant or any probable cause, and throwing them into unmarked vehicles. Who are you . Well get you out. Whats your name tell us your name. Whats your name . Okay, youre ,fine well get you out. Stephen you know whats Never Associated with good news unmarked vans. Hey, honey, i think the pizzas here. Im not sure. Theres no license plate. But the guy in the drivers seat is waving us over. Cmon bring the kids this wasnt an isolated incident. Heres another video of the feds hopping into an unmarked car. No. Dont pull the door. I just pushed the button. Just let it. Just let it close. Why do you always do that, hank . Obviously this is chilling, but also, minivans . Really . If im going to be unaccountably rendered to a blacksite, i dont want to hear this alright, get him in the back. Wait, take out the baby seat. I did take it out. No you just took out the top. You left the base in. Oh, lord, its full of cheerios and raisins. This is embarrassing. Just give him the ipad, let him watch peppa pig while we figure it out. Ahh its all sticky. So who are these unmarked kidnappers . Apparently, they are officers from the u. S. Marshals special Operations Group and u. S. Customs and border protections Border Patrol tactical unit. Yes, they are tasked with patrolling mexicos long border with oregon. The customs boarder acting commissioner explained you will not see names on the uniforms because the same violent criminals use this information to target them and their families putting them both at risk. It goes without saying docking is bad. I wish it went without saying having a secret police is way worse and is trump stappo is not saying theyre just following orders. Theyre saying theyre just following executive orders. And portland mayor ted wheeler sees something sinister as best as i can tell, this is an effort a last gasp effort by a failed president with sagging polling data, whos trying to look strong for his base. Hes actually using the federal police function in support of his candidacy. Stephen explains the new Campaign Slogan trump 2020 get in the van today, in the oval office, trump defended his deployment of the feds. Portland was totally out of control, the democrats, the liberal democrats running the place had no idea what they were doing. How about chicago . I read the numbers were many People Killed over the weekend. Were looking at chicago, too, were looking at new york, look at whats going on. Stephen thats right, its not just portland. Theyre going on tour as the secret police. to the tune of roxanne unmarked van you dont have to read me miranda rights. But the department of Homeland Security reviewed the footage from the past week and admitted one mistake, that the federal officers deployed in portland didnt have proper training. Yes, our jackbooted thugs didnt have proper training in kidnap etiquette when youre putting the black bag over someones head, you have to hold your pinkies out. Theres one Group Standing up to tyranny moms. Saturday night, they made a human change between these thugs and the protesters. Feds stay clear, moms are here feds stay clear, moms are here feds stay clear, moms are here stephen you know things are bad when mom shows up. Shes not mad, shes just disappointed that we no longer have constitutional rights. And, of course, the officers saw the group of mothers, reflected on what we have become as a country, and walked away. Im just kidding, they shoved the moms and attacked with tear gas and flash grenades. You really think you can scare a group of moms . they push entire humans out of their vaginas and then smile for a picture and they do it just by breathing a lot compared to that, tear gas is a walk in the episiotomy dont know what that is . Ask your mother if youve got the guts. By the way, call your mother. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Watch what happens live host andy cohen is here. But when we come back, well talk about a friend we all lost this weekend, congressman john lewis. The dove men care 3in1 bar is unique. It can be used on the hands, body, and face. It cleanses and moistuizes with 1 4 moisturizing cream. Leaving your skin feeling comfortable and smooth. Dove men care 3in1 bar. An extra 15 percent credit on car and motorcycle policies . Ok . Thats 15 percent on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . Dj khaled to be your motivational coach . Yo devin remember to brush in a circle motion. Thank you. Dj. Khaled. Tiny circles, devin. Do another one. Another one. Is this good . Put in that work, devin. Dont give up. Geico. Save an extra 15 when you switch by october 7th. Can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Off deep woods provides long lasting mosquito protection so you can focus on what means the most. Off sc johnson a mobile plan that blows away those highpriced plans boost mobiles all new hrinkit plan the longer you stay, the less you pay. Watch your bill shrink to 35 month after just 6 ontime payments. Plus get a free lg k51 when you switch on our new, upgraded network. Boost mobile. Hey, im going to need you to. Never mind. Cant touch this. Help you cant touch this. You cant touch this. You cant touch this. I trust you. Stop, hammer time i touched it new cheetos popcorn. Its a cheetos thing. This is about the next 10 years. Pero hoy, tu puedes hacer algo. You can make a difference today by completing the census. The census impacts everything from hospitals, schools and public transportation. It is more important than ever before that everyones voice is heard. The census builds america, so the census count should look like america. Shape the future of brooklyn. Kansas city. Tucson. Atlanta. Oregon. Los angeles. D. C. Start here at 2020census. Gov. Stephen welcome back. This weekend, we lost a giant. Friend of the show, friend of the america we all aspire to, congressman john lewis. To say he was a civil rights icon feels like an understatement. In the 1960s, he was among the original 13 freedom riders arrested in mississippi. He organized and participated in lunchcounter sitins, he led one of the most famous marches in American History across the Edmund Pettus bridge in selma, alabama, and along with mlk, he was a speaker at the march on washington when he was just twenty three years old. Hed already done more for the country at 23 than most do in a lifetime. At 23, i didnt think i was ready to be a dungeon master yet. Congressman lewis efforts to make this country better did not stop there. He went on to serve the people of atlanta for over 30 years in the house and was referred to by his colleagues as, the conscience of the congress. He mustve been exhausted. He was like the angel on congress shoulder, and on the other shoulder was congress. John lewis was a hero. Thats a given. Everybody knows that. But we tend to carve our heroes in marble and forget the other sides of them. Like the fact that john lewis was fun. Example number one he wrote a graphic novel about himself already a baller move and then when he went to comic con in 2015 to promote it, he cosplayed as his younger self and led a march around comic con. Give that man a shield, because thats captain america. What i love is how positive he stayed while fighting injustice. Sometimes, he was just joyful. Like this moment from 2018 motion to immediately put dancing john lewis on all of our money. Ben franklin, youve had a good ride. Throughout his career fighting for civil rights, lewis repeatedly put his body on the line, as a freedom rider, at the Edmund Pettus bridge, and then, at the age of 76, crowdsurfing the audience at the ed sullivan theater. Not only does that remind us of how joyful he was, but it reminds me of a better time when it was okay for a crowd of strangers to touch an old man. Or, for that matter, to be a crowd of strangers. Over the weekend, people were paying their respects to john lewis. And some were paying their respects to who they thought was john lewis. Like senator marco rubio, who posted this tribute on twitter it was an honor to know and be blessed with the opportunity to serve in congress with john lewis, a genuine and historic American Hero. A lovely sentiment, one problem thats not john lewis. That is the late congressman elijah cummings. A giant in his own right, but not john lewis. But still better than rubios first draft it was an honor to know john lewis. Not only was he a civil rights icon, but he led the Chicago Bulls to six nba championships. Im not the only one who interviewed john lewis, though. So did jon batiste jon in 1961, the same year that president barack obama was born, black people and white people couldnt be seated together on a greyhound or tailway bus, even in washington. In 1961, my seatmate was a young white gentlemon. The two of us left washington and arrived in South Carolina at the bus station. A group from the klan met us and left us lying in the pool of blood when we tried to enter this socalled white waiting room. This was may 1961. Many years later, to be exact, in february 2009, one member of the klan, one of the guys who was beating us in the 70s came to my office in washington with his son in his 40s, and he said, mr. Lewis, im one of the people that beat you and your seatmate. He said, will you forgive me . I want to apologize. And his son started crying. He started crying. And i said, i accept your apology. I forgive you. They hugged me, i hugged them back, and i started crying. And thats the power of the way of peace, of the way of love and nonviolence. As dr. King said, hate is too heavy a burden to bear. Jon hate is too heavy a burden to bear. Yes. Jon mmm. Love is a better way. So all of the people that beat me and arrested me and threw me in jail, i dont have any ill feeling at all, not at all. Jon mmm. I feel free. Jon whew. I feel good. I feel free. Stephen jons with us now. Hello, jon. Jon hello. How you doing, stephen . Stephen that was a beautiful conversation you were having with congressman lewis. Theres a tenman version well put up online tonight. Wonderful to see you tw