But only in the chicago area. So, one time, i had a layover in ohare, and i go to mcdonalds, and i took one bite i went, wow. This man is the greatest basketball player of all time. We even kept this interview. I remember him. He played baseball for the burningham barretts. He lso played basketball . He did look. That makes sense. He was pretty tall. And what documentary would be complete without astrophysicist Neil Degrasse tyson . Space jam. I dont care how great an athlete you are you still must obey the laws of gravity. And when we run out of footage about the best player on the chicago bulls, tune in to our series about the worst player on the bulls, denny sinclair. Michael whats a threeletter word for automobile . Espn. Milking this thing for all its worth. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight c. D. C. No evil plus, stephen welcomes new york Governor Andrew Cuomo, and musical guest christine and the queens, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hello. Were making sure that were recording right now in case youre wondering what were doing right now. A show tomorrow . Stephen theres no show tomorrow, this is the last show of the week. Why, did you think we had a show tomorrow . Yeah. Stephen hmm mmm, no. That explains why youre in last show of the week mode. Stephen why . More relaxed . More relaxed, yeah. Stephen okay. Well see if i can keep that going. Yeah. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. One of the things about this virus is, it doesnt care who you are or whether you believe the virus is worth staying inside for. You could still catch it. Case in point, we learned today that one of trumps personal valets has tested positive for coronavirus. Maybe this will help the president understand how scary it is for the average american, when one of their personal valets tests positive. Now, the president is fine, but this was a risk, given that the president s valets do not wear masks, and the valet who tested positive works in the west wing and serves the president his meals. Sounds troubling, but keep in mind, the way you serve the president s meal is to kick the door open, throw the chicken bucket inside, and slam it shut before you lose a hand. The president was reportedly upset. A white house source said that news that someone close to trump had tested positive for coronavirus was hitting the fan in the west wing. Fortunately, the white house fan is so caked with poop at this point, it no longer spins. This news is inconvenient because it gets in the way of trumps message that weve got to open up the country as fast as we can. To that end, the c. D. C. Actually prepared a detailed document with stepbystep advice to local authorities on how and when to reopen. But the Trump Administration has shelved the document. Its all part of the president s longrunning campaign the less you know. The report was supposed to come out last friday, but then the white house told the c. D. C. Scientists that the guidance would never see the light of day. as trump because its damaging to me politically. Plus, if you want to fight coronavirus, we all know that light of day go inside of you. Its called boofing sunshine. Im booing on sunshine, whoa whoa this is all part of trumps handsoff approach, where instead of actually helping, he puts the onus on states to handle covid19. Okay, but its a national crisis. We need national standards. Theres a reason why the heimlich poster in restaurants doesnt say choking is different in every state. Now, we know what the guidelines would have been, because they were leaked to reporters. And they contain some helpful advice, like restaurants and bars should install sneeze guards at cash registers and avoid having buffets. as trump kill the c. D. C. Guidelines. I must save our nations beautiful buffets. Ill always be there for you, roomtemperature macaroni salad it truly is all i can eat. Trump might want to get rid of his own white houses guidelines too, because most states that are reopening fail to meet white house guidelines, and in more than half the states, case counts are trending upward, positive test results are rising, or both. Look, im no political scientist, but im guessing killing voters in an Election Year is going to be awkward at best. But, trump has a plan for that. A senior official predicted trump will soon begin publicly questioning the death toll as it closes in on his predictions for the final death count and damages him politically. So, hes going to question whether the deaths actually happened. Hes gone from being a birther to a deather. If there was any justice, hed be a lifeer. Denying the deaths of americans is nextlevel cruel. Its also not going to work theyll be gone. People will notice. What are you going to do . as trump billy, sit down. I need you to be a strong little soldier, because i have some bad news about your grandpa. He was never real. All your memories of him were implanted. Now take this red pill. Its adderall, and its fantastic. Youll be able to drive a nail with your eyeballs. So whos going to sell trumps message of i dont see dead people . Its none other than trump 2020 Campaign Manager and baby chick who just set the barn on fire, brad parscale. This morning, parscale tweeted, for nearly three years we have been building a juggernaut Campaign Death star. It is firing on all cylinders. Data, digital, tv, political, surrogates, coalitions, etc. In a few days we start pressing fire for the first time. Uh, okay. First of all, brad, refreshingly honest of you to say youre the people in star wars that were designed after the nazis. But, have you seen the movie . Spoilers, but it doesnt end great for the death star. And, im going to go ahead and say a deadly pandemic is not the best time to associate yourself with something that kills the population of an entire planet. And if anything, trump is the opposite of darth vader. He wont wear a mask, and im pretty sure his line would be as trump eric, im not your father. But i have to admit, thatd make a catchy new campaign shirt trump 2020 objectively bad with easily exploitable design flaws. And speaking of masks trump wont wear, the president recently told advisers that he fears he would look ridiculous in a mask. Mr. President , let me assure you a face mask will not be the thing that makes you look ridiculous. Even worse, trump worries that if he wears a mask the image would appear in negative ads. Hes so vain that hes worried that if he does the right thing to help america through a crisis, hell be mocked. Just like those attack ads against eisenhower yeah, he won dday, but check out that goofy hat like an exploding death star, trumps decision to go maskless is reverberating outward. Because weve somehow gotten to the point where face masks make a political statement in the coronavirus era. That controversial statement . Being alive is good. In fact, democrats are more likely than republicans to say theyre wearing a mask when leaving home, 76 to 59 . Come on, guys. Safety isnt a political issue. If it makes you feel better, politicize your mask. Use it to tell the world what your politics are. Make it maga, or a border wall, or let them know youre no liberal weenie by slapping on some truck nutz. Covid isnt just endangering peoples lives. Its also turning our most beloved Cultural Icons against each other. Take last night, when there was an allout twitter war between treasury secretary and man just now learning what a session with mistress carlotta entails, steve mnuchin, and guns n roses singer and man vowing revenge on whoever did this to his gloves axl rose. It all started when mnuchin called in to fox business with some terrible advice. Do you think International Travel will be opened up this year . Our priority is opening up the domestic economy. This is a great time for people to explore america. A lot of people havent seen many parts of america. Stephen really . Traveling during a pandemic . Thats the worst advice since floridas Hurricane Season ad visit the sunshine state. It will blow you away well, axl rose was having none of it, tweeting, its official whatever anyone may have previously thought of steve mnuchin, hes officially an bleep . Oh, it is on a feud between mr. Appetite for destruction. And axl rose. Well, mnuchin wasnt going to let that stand. He tweeted back, what have you done for the country lately . Well, one thing rose has done for america is remember what its flag looks like, because thats the flag of liberia which gave the last word to axl, who responded, my bad, i didnt get were hoping to emulate liberias economic model, but on the real, unlike this admin, im not responsible for 70,000plus deaths, and unlike you, i dont hold a fed. Gov. Position of responsibility to the American People and go on tv telling them to travel the u. S. During a pandemic. Man, axl should run for president hes got government experience. Hes already created chinese democracy. Heres a blast from the past. Remember the russia investigation . Back when we could still collude in person . Well, theres big news for one of the Major Players in that scandal, former National Security adviser and general who sent his glasses to the front lines, Michael Flynn. Flynn lied to the f. B. I. About his contacts with thenrussian ambassador sergei kislyak. Well, today, the Justice Department said it is dropping the criminal case against flynn, despite the fact that he pled guilty twice justice really is blind. Because after hearing this, shes facepalming. The Justice Department evidently agreed with flynns lawyers when they alleged that flynn was trapped into lying when agents interviewed him at the white house days after trumps inauguration. Oh, yes. They trapped him into lying using that dirty trick asking him to be truthful. The supposed smoking gun for this charge is a note written by one of the agents before they went to interview flynn that read, what is our goal . Truth admission, or to get him to lie, so we can prosecute him or get him fired . Sounds damning. Except, the agents concluded, they should protect our institution by not playing games. And maybe this f. B. I. Agent shouldnt write down every single thought he has. writing hmm, should i have sex with my neighbor pam . No, i should protect the institution of marriage. Happy anniversary, jill. Remember, trump was always mad at attorney general Jeff Sessions for recusing himself from these matters. But now hes got attorney general and frog that was kissed and turned into a toady, bill barr. And now the barr Justice Department has finally lived up to its name, because they truly have barred justice. Word play stephen today trump spoke ability his old buddy in the oval office. He was an innocent man. He is a great gentleman. He was targeted by the obama administration, and he was targeted in order to try and take down a president. And what theyve done is a disgrace. I hope a big price is going to be paid. Stephen a big price was already paid. Because, without telling anyone, Michael Flynn was paid 500,000 to represent turkeys interests during the trump campaign. But trumps still a big booster im very happy for general flynn, he was a great warrior, and he still is a great warrior. Now, in my book, hes an even greater warrior. Stephen yes, he fights with honor for whichever country ends up being the highest bidder. Its all detailed in the movie, pretty warrior. General with a heart of gold. Weve got a great show for you tonight. When we return, my guest will be new york Governor Andrew Cuomo. The join us, wont you . Im always walking to the same old place just in case i see your face i may be acting crazy now its getting late they took my heart away but ill be okay, cause in my dream world im still your dream girl ooh, im still your dream girl is like cordless phones. phone ringing big button, and volumeenhanced phones. Get details on this state program. Visit right now or call during business hours. That could mean an increase byin energy bills. You can save by setting your heat to 68 or lower. Unplugging and turning off devices when not in use. Or just letting the sun light your home. Stay well and keep it golden. And accessoriesphones for your mobile phone. Like this device to increase volume on your cell phone. phone ringing get details on this state Program Visit right now or call during business hours. Stephen welcome back, everybody. My guest tonight is the 56th governor of the state of new york. Please welcome Governor Andrew Cuomo thanks so much for being with us, governor, and thank you for everything youre doing to keep our state safe and the public informed. Thank you. Stephen how are you . Im doing well. So far, s stephen. Thank you for having me. Pleasure to be with you. Im a big fan. Stephen well, sir, i know youre sequestered right now with adult children. Thats in your little quarantine bubble. How is that, having the adult kids at home with you . Thats actually cool. You know, my kids are 22, 25 and 25 twins, three girls. I normally cant get them to come home to visit me, stephen. I normally have to pay them to come visit me. They want to check when they come. Stephen sure. O to have them with me has really been a Silver Lining in a weird way, you know. Stephen yes. Because theyre out there living their life, the last thing they want to go is go hang out with dad in albany, you know. Stephen i know. But they have been here, and its been very helpful to me because, with everything going on, its just very grounding for me to go home and have them there and hear their abuse, which im accustomed to and comes from a good place. Stephen how about the boyfriend . Is the boyfriend still with you . The boyfriend is still with us, yes. Stephen and we like the boyfriend . Yes, we like the boyfriend. Official comment, we like the boyfriend. Personal comment, i like the boyfriend. I learned that lesson the hard way, you have to say you like the boyfriend, no matter whatever you feel because theyre still in the rebellion phase. If you say you dont like the boyfriend, they will mar by the boyfriend to spite you. So, yes, i like the boyfriend. Stephen and heres why i think you like the boyfriend because youre willing to talk about whether you like the boyfriend. Because if you didnt like the boyfriend, you would never mention the boyfriend. I actually like the boifnld. And the boyfriend has been in close practice i want, and if i didnt like the boyfriend, that would have communicated now through various means and methods. Stephen i want to talk to you about something you talked about in your press briefing yesterday. New york city overall new york state overall numbers are dropping, but you reported yesterday that in a survey of 1,300 new covid patients, 66 of them had been staying at home. Do we know why these people who are staying at home are still getting sick . Yeah, its actually interesting, stephen. The closedown has worked so well, and what we feared didnt come true. I was afraid that the essential workers would have a hiring ifection rate the healthcare, transit workers, police. Stephen makes sense. That didnt happen. Actually, the healthcare workers, believe it or not, have a lower infection rate than the general population, which just shows the p. P. E. , the masks, et cetera, actually works. The infection rate is now down to an increase among those people who stay home, meaning the closedown is working. Were down to a level now where its pure personal behavior and whether or not youre wearing a mask and youre using sanitizer. Because people who are at home who are not working, not taking public transportation, thats the only area that we still see growth, and thats actually good news. Stephen now, 30 states are either opening or close to opening, but most of those states dont meet the federal guidelines, even the guidelines put out by the white house themselves. New yorks not reopening yet, but do you have a plan in place . Yeah. We have a very specific plan, probably the most specific plan, and the governing philosophy is i understand the anxiety and the stress and we all want the open as quickly as possible, everybody does, myself included, but you dont operate out of emotion and passion, right . You stay with facts and data. So we have been doing that all along. We follow the science, we follow the facts, we follow the data, and were going to reopen by the data. We know how many hospitalizations we have, we know what the infection rate is, we know what the testing rate is. Follow the data. And i think the c. D. C. Did have guidelines and, youre right, many states are reopening, even though the guidelines are not being followed. Were in the opposite place. New york, the numbers are all going down on every level. Many of the other states, the numbers are still going up, and theyre reopening. That not only violates c. D. C. Guidelines, that violates common sense and were not going to do that. We are going to follow the data. We are on the way down. In about a week, you will see some regions in the state with lower numbers starting to reopen their economies and then, as those numbers stabilize, you will see more economic growth. Stephen well, you made a good point that, while, nationally, there may be a flattening of the curve, if you take new york, new jersey, connecticut, if you take those numbers where the numbers are going down, if you take that out of the equation, for the rest of the country, were still going up. What advice do you have for the other governors who are governing states right now that do not have the same crisis level of covid infections that new york experienced but are in no way exempt from it just because it hasnt happened yet. No, stephen, i think it is shortterm i understand the shortterm benefit of opening. The pressure to open is tremendous. The political pressure is tremendous. People want out. They want out of the home. People need a paycheck, they want to get back to work, they want to make sure they have a job. I get it. So i understand the shortterm pressure. But long term, we have seen what has happened in countries that open too quickly, and then they wind up closing again. To open and then close two weeks later or three weeks later because that infection rate goes through the roof again makes no sense. Calibrate the opening an