Spoke by phone with President Trump. Was there a quid pro quo . Its the late show live. Tonight not debatable and stephen plays rugly with new zealands allblacks. Plus, stephen welcomes John Heilemann and alex wagner featuring live jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen woooo thanks for joining us stephen oh, yeah. Theres nothing like it. There is no feeling like teverybody. Hello, jon you ready . Jon were ready. Lets get it lets go. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen were piping it right here. Audience Stephen StephenStephen Stephen beautiful beautiful . A ap rocky. Jon yeah, i like that. Stephen hi, everybody, please, have a seat. Thank you, friends down here, up there, all across america welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And we cheers are live, live, right there after the democratic debate. It is the fifth debate, right . This is the fifth debate. Another so hold on. Okay, there you go. laughter and i believe i believe america gets a free sub now. And, hopefully, a new president cheers and applause jon oh, wow. Stephen well be talking about that in a second. But, first, this was a huge day in the ukraine scandal. There was explosive testirrhea from ambassador to the European Union and man who just spilled the tea on d. J. T. , okerrr Gordon Sondland. Ill tell you all about it in tonights live edition of don and the giant impeach. Get me out of here cheers and applause stephen angry peach. Sondland dropped the biggest bombshell in his opening statement. I know that members of this committee frequently framed these complicated issues in the form of a simple question was there a quid pro quo . The answer is yes. Stephen yes high said it on National Television im satisfied. I yield the balance of my time to congressman jack daniels. cheers and applause oh oh mmm. Now, sondland made it clear, this whole ukrainian scheme, none of this was his idea. We all understood that these prerequisites for the white house call and the white house meeting reflected President Trumps desires and requirements at the express direction of the president of the United States. We followed the president s orders. Stephen historically speaking, there is no defense more heroic than, we were just following orders. laughter now, after months of not knowing why the administration was withholding what ukraine was waiting for, sondland finally called trump directly. It was a very short, abrupt conversation. He was not in a good mood. Stephen that doesnt sound like trump. laughter hes usually a little miss sprayon sunshine. So on the call, sondland asked what trump wanted from the ukrainians, and sondland said that trump said. Well, ill tell what you. Ill just let trump tell you what he says he said. So hes going, what do you want . What do you want . I hear all these theories. What do you want . Right . And now, heres my response that he gave just gave. Ready . You have the cameras rolling . I want nothing. Thats what i want from ukraine. Thats what i said. I want nothing stephen i want something. I wanna know whats going on with that couple in the background. laughter what the hell are they what the hell are they doing out there . Jon theyre just chillin, huh . Stephen honey, our neighbor is shouting on the lawn again. Go and get the hose. Thats the only way hell leave. Okay, sounds fairly innocent. A man angrily shouting into the phone, i want nothing. I want nothing but heres why he might have been a bit of a cranky pants that day. This phone call happened the same day the whistleblower complaint was delivered to the house intelligence committee. Oh, donnys no dummy. He knew his dingdong was in a door hinge. laughter you gotta say, thats really suspicious timing. Thats like waiting until your parents are pulling into the driveway to text them, please come home. Someone broke into the house, threw a huge party, and hid all the vodka in my stomach laughter applause now, the president wasnt the only one sondland dropped a dime on. He also fingered mike pence. I was in a briefing with several people, and i just spoke up, and i said it appears that everything is stalled until this statement gets made. Something words to that effect. And the Vice President nodded, like, you know, he heard what i said, and that was pretty much it, as i recall. Stephen keep in mind, nodding is the Biggest Movement miks s body any more than that, the devil will accuse him of dancing. laughter and mother will not be pleased thats illegal in this town, kevin bacon sondland went on to explain how many senior officials were in the know. A lot of senior officials. A lot of senior officials. Everyone was in the loop. Stephen everyone . Could you be more specific . as sondland secretary pompeo. Secretary pirry. Brian mccormick, who is secretary perrys chief of staff at the time. Miss kenna who is the act ago pardon me, who is the secretaryeate for secretary pompeo. Chief of staff mulvaney. Mr. Mulvaneys Senior Adviser rob blair. Ambassador bolton. Dr. Hill. Mr. Morrison and their staff at the n. S. C. Stephen id also like to incriminate my agent, baby doll, marcie from wardrobe. Everybody at the r. N. C, mick mulvaney. We couldnt have pressured ukraine without you. Theyre playing me off. I want to thank the whistleblower, everybody at hbo. Crime is crime is crime is crime. This is for you, mom. We did it good night lets go this way. Mow, its no surprise who sondland says was the delicious nougat at the center of this conspiracy. Secretary perry, ambassador volker, and i worked with mr. Rudy giuliani on ukraine matters at the express direction of the president of the United States. We did not want to work with mr. Giuliani. laughter applause stephen get in line. laughter no one wants to work with Rudy Giuliani he spits when he talks, and he smells like the inside of a belly button. laughter now, sondland said today he didnt realize what they were doing was wrong, because no one ever told him it was wrong. No one said, back off of ukraine, this is dangerous, youre doing something thats untoward, we have concerns. I dont remember anybody sounding any alarm bell because, of course, had some mentioned it, i would have sat up and taken notice. Stephen of course no one told you it was wrong you are the patsy thats why no one says, hey, can you take this backpack through customs for me . I would do it myself, but its so full of heroin. Want to take it . No . Delicious. applause hi watch on the. Sondland also remembered that he did talk to trump on an unsecured phone from a kiev re, but thpart he remembers su what triggered my memory was some reference to a ap rocky which was i believe the primary purpose of the phone call. Stephen yeah, a ap rocky was the primary purpose of the call, as in as trump zelensky better launch the biden investigation asap, or his lifes gonna get rocky. Now put a beat behind that. Now, democrats, democrats on the committee ask sondland about the colorful language he reportedly used when talking to trump about zelensky. Well, he also testified that you confirmed to President Trump that you were in ukraine at the time, and that president zelensky, quote, loves your ass, end quote. Do you recall saying that . Yeah, it sounds like something i would say. Thats how President Trump and i communicate a lot of four letter words. In this case, three letter. Stephen huh. They reallily used fourletter words and threeletter words . Quid. Pro. Quo. That checks out. Weve got a great show for you tonight. John heileman and alex wagner from the circus are here. But when we return, my live coverage of the democratic president ial debate it sticks around youre not going to want to miss this, everybody John Heileman and alex wagner from the circus are here. But when we return, my live coverage of the democratic president ial debate it sticks around youre not going to want to miss this, everybody ing about. The. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. And you can get both an unlimited plan and the new iphone 11 included for just 35 a month. paul and with sprints 100 total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. sprintern ahh its the best season of the year. paul is that your excited dance . sprintern what dance . For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Friends family sale take an extra 25 off save on family outerwear. 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Holiday gifts everyones sure to love at 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. And you realize you are the the hostess with the mostest. You know when youre at ross yes yeah thats yes for less. Entertain in style all season long. It feels even better when you find it for lessat ross. Yes for less. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody give it up for jon batiste and stay human, the band, the live band from television here. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Welcome back to more of our monologue tonight. The democrats, if youre just joining us, we are leave because the democrats held a debate at atlantas Tyler Perry Studios tonight. Which explains why half of the candidates were played by madea. laughter joe biden was actually celebrating his 77th birthday today. But it was a tough night for the birthday boy. Biden had a gaffe before he even hit the stage. He evidentally sent his supporters his postdebate fundraising email eight hours too early, at 3 00 today, saying im leaving the fifth democratic debate now. I hope i made you proud out there, and i hope i made it clear to the world why our. Campaign is so important. No, joe the debate hadnt happened oh. Hold on, were getting another premature email from joe. I just won the election im leaving my inauguration now going to ask mae west to be my secretary of defense. Come up and see me some time. Did we make up that . Okay. Now, once the debate kicked off, Amy Klobuchar got things started by quoting from history. I was thinking about this when i was at the carter president ial museum, and on the wall are etched the words of walter mondale. Stephen wow. Carter and mondale . Really reaching for the stars. as klobuchar in the immortal words of michael dukakis, quoting George Mcgovern and crystal pepsi lets all hop on the hindenberg and root for the new york jets cheers and applause oh, the humanity then senator sanders emphasized his colleagues ability to multitask. The congress can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. Stephen as sanders in fact, heres a nickel, treat yourself to a pack of bubble gum. You can use whatevers left over to hop on a trolley and go see one of those new talkies. Now take ttake it, go get out of here, kid. You bother me. All the candidates were eager to deliver the soundbite, including Kamala Harris i believe what our nation needs right now is a nominee who can speak to all people. I spent my entire career standing mostly in a courtroom speaking five words. Stephen as harris i was that little girl nothing . That was really big at the first debate. Anything . No. Amy klobuchar had the first laugh of the night literally called everyone i knew, and i set what is still an alltime senate record. I raised 17,000 from exboyfriends. Stephen thats thats pretty impressive. Im sure you didnt mean it this way, but technically, if theyre giving you cash, theyre not called boyfriends. She didnt mean that she didnt mean that andrew yang wore a pin that said math, which stands for. Make america think harder. But i say, we can think bigger. Why not make everybody think harder . Jon come on com stephen now, americas favorite mayor americas favorite mayor, Pete Buttigieg, distanced himself from the other candidates on the stage. I never thought id be on a Forbes Magazine list, but they did one of all the candidates by wealth, and i am, literally, the least wealthy person on this stage. Stephen adding, as pete point is, i really need that 1,000 a month. Andrew yang 2020 can i get an advance . Then, Amy Klobuchar offered up a prime argument for a female president if you dont think a woman can beat donald trump, nancy pelosi does it every single. Day. Stephen yes, yes, she does. applause and if theres any justice, shell be president by spring. Now, tom steyer made a passionate appeal for Affordable Housing when you look at inequality in the United States of america, you have to start with housing. Where you put your head at night determines so many things about your life. Stephen thats true. For instance, every night, devin nunes puts his head right up Donald Trumps keister. applause and that determines so many things about all of our lives. Now moving on to the subject of international relations, joe biden pointed out that he doesnt have any fans in north korea. Kim jongun, who is a thug althought, he points out im a rabid dog and need to be beaten with a stick. Stephen are you sure you want to say points out . Sounds like you agree with kim jongun. as biden to quote Teddy Roosevelt speak softly, and i need to be beaten with a stick. then joe biden emphasized the importance of ending violence against women, but with a really really poor choice of words. So we have to just change the culture, period, and keep punching at it and punching at it and punching at it. Stephen as biden weve got to chain up that racism and weve got to stuff that homophobia back into the closet come on come at me come at me, bro applause then cory booker had a little fun when he lit up joe biden. I have a lot of respect for the Vice President. He is swore me into my office. Hes a hero. This week i hear him literally say that i dont think we should legalize marijuana. I thought you might have been high when you said it. laughter stephen to which biden said why . Do i look high . Can you tell . I feel like everyone can tell laughter are you a cop . You have to tell me if youre a cop. You going to finish that . Are you gonna could i . applause then biden tried to brag about his appeal to African Americans. I come out of the black community in terms of my support. Stephen as biden but i come out of the White Community in terms of my confidence to say that. Now, unfortunately, biden kept on joeing three former chairs of the black caucus, the only bl African American woman whos ever been elected to the United States senate a whole range of people. Thats not true. The other one is here. laughing my point is stephen as biden my point is, i was also endorsed by rosa parks, Sojourner Truth and black panther himself. Wakanda forever cheers and applause Wakanda Forever you know somewhere out there donald trump is going oh my god, i cant believe i risked impeachment over joe. Someone please tell me theres a hunter buttigieg. Dont go away, folks. When we come back, ill be in new zealand, playing rugby with new zealands all blacks. Dont go away, folks. 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