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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

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You confuse, and the more you forget is the whistleblowers mind controlled by Chrissy Teigen . Can you guess who . Do you have a clue . Guess who, g. O. P. Whistleblower edition the more you play, the more trump wins dirt on joe biden sold separately. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, john oliver and amy sedaris along with Paul Mccartney and musical guest big thief, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen yeah hi howdy whoo fantastic why cant we do two of those tonight . Hey, jon how are ya . Hello, friends. audience chanting stephen happy thursday thanks, everybody whoo nice beautiful thank you very much. Welcome one and all up here, down , there out there, welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff but heres the thing also, im kind of not because im not actually here. We taped this in advance because im about to shoot some special pieces for the show. Which means as you watch this, i am on an airplane to new zealand. Which also means that once youre done watching this, and youve gone to sleep, and woken up and gone to work, i will still be on an airplane to new zealand. laughter applause but this is a very special night. We have a bonus, never aired, sitdown with sir Paul Mccartney here tonight and cheers and applause yes and our patented flipped interviews, where the guests interview me. cheers and applause amy sedaris is doing one, and also john oliver. cheers and applause hes doing a 20 minute deep dive into my ties to the pharmaceutical industry. laughter what am i hiding . I dont know. I cant wait to find out. But theres still plenty going on. For starters, this coming tuesday, is the next democratic debate, and ill tell you all about it in tonights doin it donkey style. laughter cheers and applause this time the debate is being held in westerville, ohio. If youre not familiar with westerville one person is laughter westerville is right between westville and westestville. laughter i assume, i dont know how maps work. And its going to be crowded, because the Democratic National committee announced that 12 candidates have qualified for the debate. Which makes it the largest president ial primary debate ever. So who made the cut . Mostly familiar faces, like joe biden, cory booker, pete buttigieg, juliaan castro, kamaa harris, beto orourke, and elizabeth warren. And, despite having just had a heart attack, Bernie Sanders will participate in this debate. cheers and applause just to be safe, they have eliminated the stairmaster portion of the debate. laughter as beie i can do it crank it up to 99 give me a 1 incline laughter feel the burn laughter democrats themselves have even acknowledged that a crowded stage isnt ideal. One d. N. C. Member said, i dont think it is necessarily good. I think were at a point when were really down to five candidates that have actual traction, and you have a lot of people auditioning for something else. Which does explain why cory booker is planning to show up dressed as rum tum tugger. So a lot of eyes will be on the democrats, but President Trump still has plenty of problems, which ill tell you about in tonights edition of don and the giant impeach. cheers and applause to me its a dirty word, the word impeach, its a dirty filthy disgusting word. cheers and applause stephen for starters, in case you missed it, house investigators are looking into an allegation that groups, including at least one foreign government, tried to iratiate themselves to President Donald Trump by booking rooms at his hotels but never staying in them. Thats ridiculous. Theres an easier way to give trump money through his hotels. Just eat that minican of prgles 12 . laughter thats like a buck twenty a pring governments pay for the rooms but never go, in what are called ghost bookings. Which is also what Hotel Security calls it when wilbur ross stays there. laughter piano riff there have been very few commerce secretaries in my lifetime who are a visible punch line. laughter and a lot of people are saying this kind of open criminality is just trumps management style donald trump sought to run u. S. Foreign policy the way tony soprano ran his crime family. It was right out of don corleone. Donald trump speaks like a mobster. This is how a mafia boss talks. That sounds a lot like a mob boss. He is acting like a mob boss. We see this from mob bosses. Hes taken on this personapersona of a mobster. Stephen oh yeah, trump really sees himself as a tough guy mobster. as trump leave the gun. And if you take the cannoli, im gonna shoot you with the gun. laughter and remember what trump said about any of his former aides who cooperated with Robert Mueller . I know all about flipping. For 30, 40 years, ive been watching flippers. Everythings wonderful, and then they get 10 years in jail and they they flip on whoever the next highest one is, or as high as you can go. Stephen wow, yeah, its true. Trump hates flippers. laughter however bad this ukraine thing gets, he would never flip on a friend i think you should ask for Vice President pences conversations, because he had a couple of conversations also. Stephen wow. audience reacts thats cold. Can we see the rest of that clip . dolphin noises cheers and applause looks good. Looks good. Jon thats how hes doing it, just like flipper stephen and this talk about trump acting like a mob boss, has got this clip recirculating of him on this very stage with David Letterman a few years ago. Dave asked him if he had ever interacted with organized crime. I have met on occasion a few of those people. They happen to be very nice people. Stephen oh, yes, theyre very nice people. Thats why they have nicknames like tony two charities lucchese and jimmy race for the cure gambino. laughter so trump fancies himself a don, but the only mobster trump is even remotely close to is fredo. I can handle things, im smart not like everybody says like dumb, im smart, and i want respect stephen actually, id like to apologize. That wasnt fair. To fredo. laughter fredos casino didnt go bankrupt. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Sir Paul Mccartney is here. But when we come back, jon, oliver interviews me. cheers and applause band playing i was on the fence about changing from a manual to an electric toothbrush. But my hygienist said going electric could lead to way cleaner teeth. She said, get the one inspired by dentists, with a round brush head. Go pro with oralb. Oralbs gentle rounded brush head removes more plaque along the gum line. For cleaner teeth and healthier gums. And unlike sonicare, oralb is the First Electric toothbrush brand accepted by the ada for its effectiveness and safety. What an amazing clean ill only use an oralb oralb. Brush like a pro. [ turn around, look at me there is someone walking behind you turn around look at me there is someone look at me emreplenished,d, fortified. Emerge everyday with emergenc. Packed with b vitamins, elecytesantioxidants, plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good every day . Emerge and see. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. For fast pain relief. Sc johnson. The pain and swelling. The psoriasis. Cosentyx treats more than just the joint pain of active psoriatic arthritis. It even helps stop further joint damage. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Get real relief, with cosentyx. cheers and applause band playing stephen you may know my guest tonight as the star of stranger than candy often those weird commercials he did. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing thank you very much oh, this is a beautiful place to work. Isnt it . Welcome, welcome to what you have built. Stephen yeah. Is this me . This is you. Is that the classic guest move, expressing immediate suspicion. Stephen is this me . Exactly. Did you poison this . Did you dip your balls in this . laughter so as part of an interview, weve known each other for a while. Stephen funny thing is ive known you for a while, but we havent really worked together. True. Stephen intimately because i left right before you got there at the daily show, right . Right before. Stephen so people think we know each other really well. I respect you enormously and had fun with you but we never spent a lot of time together. I was brought in as the destitute man on colbert. Since we jumped the introductory section stephen we never had it. What i thought we would do is have a first date now. So ive got questions for a start. For a first date, you dont go in laughter stephen wow, lovely. I asked your staff what wine does stephen like, and they said white wine, and i think they were looking at a bottle of white wine as they said that. So, there we go, for you. Stephen thank you. Beautiful port, right . Stephen wonderful. Were you ever fired as a waiter . I was a bartender. You cant fire a bartender. Stephen legally . Youre all appointed by the queen . Ect. Stephen shes the only one who can let you go. Bartending in the house of lords. Its hereditary. I come from a long list of bartenders. Cheers. Stephen so nice to meet you. I got first class questions from the internet in the dressing room from a web site posing as a sustainable business. This is a classic first date question, not a bad one. Whats the first concert you went to . Stephen i went to see chung mangion, and the theme song goes a Little Something like this. humming stephen thats it wow. Stephen first concert. Ask me who i went with. Your first date gave it strong, bringing a band with you and playing laughter stephen its your restaurant. You picked this restaurant. Theyre fantastic. Who did you go with . Stephen my mother. Thats nice. Did she like it. Stephen i think she stayed awake. I saw prince. Stephen oh. Yeah. applause they were both good. Stephen you asked me that question just so you could say the entire thing. Are all the questions going to be hue mill millating me . No, thats the only boomerang question. Stephen where did you see prince . I was 15 years old and i snuck out in london. It was absolutely amazing. I was obsessed with prince growing up because he was unlike anything around. I always thought minneapolis must be the most amazing place in america. applause this is advice for a first date and some of these are very specific. Stephen these were literally suggested to you by the internet. The most trustworthy source for human relationships. The robot says, ask these questions how many kilohertz do you operate at . What is yours as a humans fatal weakness . laughter when is the last time you sang with yourself or someone else . Stephen constantly. Im constantly singing by myself. I cheer myself up by singing all the time. Last night did you do scatting thats a classic dancing, isnt it . Stephen this date is going great. Youre definitely getting a second date. I think i am. Stephen what was i saying last night . Theres a guy named villary who plays with rachel price and plays jazz guitar. Im kind of obsessed with their youtube videos. At the end of a song theres a song called do friends fall in love he says as friends we were before and she says and will forevermore two, friends in love thats not a bad one. Its not like, its been its been it goes like somebody somebody its been somebody do you know how to get rid of an ear worm . My friend nicknapier said if you cant get something out of your head you need something, an ear worm that isnt long enoug to loopecause the problem with ear worms is you get a couple bars of it in your head and keeps going around, but something too short and really distinctive, something that will drive it out of your head but not long enough to loop is. By minnin or singing ricola snoct 500588300empire. Stephen today. Youre cute. Thank you. Thank you. Youre coming on a little strong but i do like to be chased. This is a genuine fourth question suggestion. This is for huma hume interactin a first date. Do you have a secret idea of how you will see dye . Thats a first date question. Stephen yeah, i mean, i guess its fairly common. I will be fitted with an iron mask that totally covers on here and theres a little trip of water that goes in and phils up to here, so i actually drown in the water on my face and i have to keep blowing it out or keep drinking it in order to stay alive, but eventually i lose consciousness and i cant do it. Or i fall face first into a wood chipper. Yeah. applause or i go home with a stranger on our first date. Yeah. Final first date question, what friendship have you had thats impacted you the most . Stephen my wife. My wife, without a doubt. Good answer. Stephen without a doubt. There is absolutely bar none no one who comes close, and, you know, the most harrowing idea would be that i would spend any part of my life without her because that would be a level of loneliness and irreplaceable, irredeemable emotional desolation that i could not possibly contemplate, and i understand why old men die like a month after their wives go because how i will actually die is she will die first and i will not last a year. Check, please. Im wasting my bleep time here. Stephen colbert, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause stephen john oliver well be right back cheers and applause band playing dramatic orchestra performance comes in lots of flavors. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. Yeah, that needs mmm. Thats better. Hvr seasoning. You either love it or you really love it. Keep being you. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre hivpositive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. Ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. Halloween is awesome. [trick or treat] yes, yes, yes, yes. [screaming in fear] yay. [laughter] yes thank you. Stephen ladies and gentlemen, they used to have a couple of bands many featured on the favorite lunchboxes but now the author of hey grand dude, Paul Mccartney is here. My two sisters saw you and wanted me to pass on their thanks to you. They saw you at d. C. Stadium on august 15, 1966, and i hav it we first time my sister mary was allowed to drive at night, and it was a holy day of obligation, it was the feast of assumption, and my mother allowed them not to go to church, even though my older brothers jim and ed wanted to tell them they were going to hell, especially it was around the time that john said you guys were bigger than jesus so it was definitely straight to hell after that. They said they could not hear a note. Nor could i. laughter stephen what were those earlier stadium concerts like . Um, we enjoyed the early ones, we enjoyed because it was success and it was, you know, they were going crazy, crowds going crazy, so you love it even if you cant hear yourself. After a little while, we just started thinking, you know, were musicians, we cant hear ourselves. It was a little bit wearing after a while. But as the beginning, it was fabulous. We used to milk it. Stephen what do you mean . Whoo, whoo, whoo laughter we knew that would do it. Stephen that would trigger the younglings . Absolutely, yeah. In fact, its funny, i do concerts now, and theres a girl who comes and she says, i can do a beatles scream like my mom. She holds up a card. I said, okay, girls, come on. They said, when we first came over here, we couldnt hear a thing. I said, all right, girls. There were, like, 40,000 people. I said, all right, lets hear a beatles scream, girls, come on screaming so, yeah, thats what it was like. And yeah, it was fabulous because, like i say, we were coming to america, we were successful. And the thing was most of the british acts in fact, i think all of the british acts that came to america whept, like, chaplain, hadnt been successful, the music acts, because some of the guys were trying to be like elvis, and you had elvis, so, you know, you had all the people they were trying to be like. So we knew we had to be different, and we were. laughter stephen what do you think was different . What do you think was different about your sound than other people at the time . We were, like, a an amalgamation amalgam stephen amalgamation, yea yeah. We were a mixture of all the people we loved, but we werent any individual one of them. So we were like the everly brothers, when john and i sang harmony, we were like buddy holly when we did this, a we just made up a new sound, and we wrote our own stuff, which was unusual then. Stephen do you remember when we were at the white house for the obamas final party, like lose the deposit damage final party. Wed already seen you and your love nancy upstairs and talked briefly, but then saw you near the mens bathroom near the library. I warned you about that. Stephen yeah, you said this is a nice room. I said, yes, thats George Washingtons actual sword on the wall. Do you remember what you said to me at the time . Remind me. Stephen you told me about when you got knighted. I told you i got knighted by her majesty the queen. Stephen yes. And its quite something, you can imagine. Stephen yeah. And what you have to do is youre not allowed to turn your back on her, so you stephen because shell stab you . laughter never thought of that that could be why. Stephen shes got a sword, right . Shes got a sword sheesh laughter so you walk in, not turning your back on her for one second stephen sure. And you stand in front of her, you walk down and there she is, you know, the queen of the whole world stephen sure. And shes got this sword. Anyway, youve got a little red cushion, and you have been told what to do. So you kneel down on the cushion, and then she takes the sword and does it either side of your shoulder and then says, arise, sir paul. So you were an ordinary guy, and then she does that, youre now magically sir paul. Stephen wow. Its just like harry potter cheers and applause stephen thats what i thought but but the thing is, the sword is special. Thats why we were talking about it. Stephen right. The sword belonged to ethyl red the unready. Stephen wow thats, like, a thousandyearold sword. Yeah, its an old sword. Stephen yeah. You told me that. I said thats, like, a thousandyearold sword. And you looked up at washingtons sword and you went, so thats a nice sword. laughter the book is hey grand dude. The grand dude is Paul Mccartney, everybody cheers and applause band playing , in a vast desert completely devoid of basset hounds. [ back in babys arms by patsy cline ] then, it appeared a beacon of hope. Im back in babys arms more glorious than a billion sunsets. We were found. Im back where i belong found by the hounds. Back in babys arms iced chai. Ry. Pad thai. Baked pie. Pork chop. Soda pop. Scallop. Kebobs. Soursop. Hot pot. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. Onion ring. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. Just get one of me looking off. How is she there and were here . Condoms. True. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. And take an extra 15 or 20 off get to kohls. Plus take an extra 15 off your 50 home sale purchase save on the ninja foodi. Nine west handbags and luggage. And all koolaburra by ugg is up to 25 off. Plus get kohls cash right now at kohls. Weve done it hah great work old chap. Well be rich and famous. Well ill be rich, youll be famous. At least amongst your digging friends. Heres a thought, ever consider investing . E trade has easy to use tools that help you get started. You like playing with tools dont you . course you do. Dont get mad. Start investing with e trade. Cologuard colon cancer and older at average risk. Ive heard a lot of excuses to avoid screening for colon cancer. Im not worried. It doesnt run in my family. I can do it next year. No rush. Cologuard is the noninvasive option that finds 92 of colon cancers. You just get the kit in the mail, go to the bathroom, collect your sample, then ship it to the lab. Theres no excuse for waiting. Get screened. Ask your doctor if cologuard is right for you. Covered by medicare and most major insurers. cheers and applause band playing hello cheers and applause i have spent the past 30 years collecting information about my next guest for this exact moment. Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen hi. This reminds me of when we were working on strangers with candy, i think i have a photograph here, look how calm i am no thats you guys. Strangers with candy. And we were doing the hit and run episode, and i had to drive the car, and you and paul dinello hated that, and i was trying to talk you into hiding my exgay boyfriend to be on the show and you didnt want him on the show but we were in the convertible and i was driving the car and you were so scared. Do you remember that . Stephen that you were driving . Yeah. Stephen because you dont know how to drive and there are actual people you could have killed, even though the episode was about you running someone over, we didnt want to make it that funny. Stephen it was my pleasure. There were 15 years when we worked together pretty intensively, and i like to tell people writing for you is one of the proudest things ive done, because you are one of the funniest people on the planet and to write anything you said is a real source of pride for me. I brag about it. cheers and applause your jerry blank andaul blank is funnier than men mine, when you wanted to tell the wardrobe laity how you wanted to dress, you said i wanted cleats in my pants and knoblet, Stephen Colberts knoblet. Stephen i would come to strangers with candy every day and take an outfit exactly like that and put that on. It was like mr. Rogers neighborhood if mr. Rogers was morally bankrupt. Im just going to mention a few things, the trigger things. Im going to get to that in a second. First of all, if you could have anyone over for dinner, dead or alive, what would you wear . Just kidding. laughter what would you serve . What would you serve . laughter dead or alive . Dead or alive, what would i serve . Stephen yes crab cakes stephen i knew it really . I made crab cakes last night, yeah. Stephen did you get the crab in the tub. They were premade. Premade crab cakes. Where i live, theres a really good seafood store. But i also got oysters and crabs and roasted carrots with a miso glaze. Oh, my goodness audience reacts stephen thank you thank you why . Stephen it was sunday night and i like to cook on sundays. As you know, i am not a good cook. Now, now, stephen. Stephen you and your brother used to make fun of things you heard my cooking. We would hear what you made and i would call david and make fun of you. Stephen and i love you, still even though you did that. There were a lot of ideas. The ingredients in there didnt go together a lot of times. But are you still making your shrimp paste . Stephen i do. Has it improved . Stephen snow, its very good to begin with. My shrimp paste is a laughter live bait, thats what it smelled like. Okay. Im going to mention some trigger words and you tell me stephen trigger words . Trigger words. laughter stephen trigger words, okay. So, okay, i might have an emotional response to those words. If i say, hes got a knife ill cut your throat, whore stephen that is someone screaming outside the building that you and i and paul lived in, we all had apartments in the same building. Thats right. Stephen there was a club in the basement called the jazz bowls. Thats right. Stephen which had the oldest Liquor License in chicago, i believe, and every night they played till, like, 4 00 in the morning at the jazz bowls, and people would come drunk out of the jazz bowls screaming, im going to slash your tires, bleep , i know that you were with cheryl, im cutting your tires, tony there was a lot of that and we didnt want to get involved. The jazz bowl, its two floors down beya below you guys. So youre trying to go to bed and it was paper thin walls so you hear this horn scatting piano riff laughter and then you will hear the door would open and laughter thats really good. Stephen all night long. And didnt they ask you, like, please dont do laundry till theres a drum sol so . Probably. Oh, my god. Stephen because it was too loud until drum solo, please dont turn on your washing machines. Joshua tree. Stephen joshua tree. And how being a gentleman backfired. Stephen again, we were on the road together for many years. Whos we, im sorry . Stephen you and me and paul dinello were on the road for many years with the second city. It was joyful. Theres nothing to do on the road but be on the road. You would like to be responsible but you cant. You cant pay your bills, there were no internet, you didnt have cell phones. You were truly out on your own and it was wonderful, it was great to be lost in america. And when we were in the middle of the desert, up in the hilts, out of the woods, we would want to get away from anything, and we would hike for a couple of hours out in the desert in joshua tree. And when we make it back to the car, there was just one bottle of water. Your cup of ice had melted. Stephen i was to take a sip of it, just finished melting, ice cold, and i said, im sorry, amy, why dont you have the first sip. You took a sip, and said thank you, and then you poured it out into the sand. I had to stephen at joshua tree. And i held you down and rubbed sand in your hair and face and down your shirt. Like that. Stephen exactly. And that might have been when i knew that i just loved you. I see stephen because i felt like i was doing it to my sister. How lovely. Stephen and paul just laughed. Paul did you laugh . Yeah, he did. Stephen thats when i wasnt sure whether i loved you anymore laughter i just want to say this was a lot of fun. They told me to wrap up. Thank you for having me on your show. Ill put these in because i heard your interview with conan obrien, the thing that made you laugh a lot, right . You will have to look at the the conan obrien podcast to know what this means. Stephen you and paul broke me from being serious. I was serious about doing comedy sketches, and you guys would always bleep around on ste and were, like, those arent the lines, the scene is ruined if you change the lines, so i would never change anything in the scene, and you thought that that wasnt that was bad for me to be like that. And, so, you would do things to try to break me on stage. Like, if i had a pimple on my nose because we were young and you will say, hello, dr. Lighthouse, or whatever when i would walk on stage and completely deny whatever initiation or what we were doing. One night, we were singing a song and i was going to pick you up, it was called four stone guys pardon me, i couldnt help noticing you standing there. What a memory and the which the light hits your hair i was sods spodes to sing that and your back is toward me and you turn and with those teeth in. And he lost it. Stephen and i burst out laughing and i was so mad at you and me that i went backstage and i locked myself in the bathroom and wouldnt come out. And you stood outside the bathroom door and the two of you mocked me you mocked me, are you cryin . And i realized in that room youd broken something in me and i cam out a changed man. I thought, theyre right, what t am i doing . And i came out and was never as professional as i should have been again. cheers and applause amy sedaris, everybody Stephen Colbert, everybody cheers and applause band playing oh oh oh ozempic® announcer people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of onceweekly ozempic®. In a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than 7 and maintained it. 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Seaonly abreva cany to help sget rid of it in. As little as 2 1 2 days when used at the first sign. Abreva starts to work immediately to block the virus and protect healthy cells. Abreva acts on it. So you can too. V8 only has 5 grams of sugar. This smoothie has over three times as much. So maybe we should call this smoothie sweetie. V8. The original plantpowered drink. Veg up. V8. The original plantpowered drink. Performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. paul sprintern at special time its iphone season at sprint. paul switch and get. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. And now you can get iphone 11 paul . For zerodollars a month when you trade in your iphone7 or newer in any condition. sprintern seriously, any condition paul and with sprints 100 total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. sprintern can i get a. [air horn beep] its iphone season. Hey paul, do you love it . paul yeah. sprintern do you love it . paul i do. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Sc johnson. Stephen their album, two hands, comes out on friday. Performing not, ladies and gentlemen, big thief cheers and applause cheers and applause its not the energy reeling nor the lines in your face nor the clouds on the ceiling nor the clouds in space its not the phone on the nor the furnace glow nor the blood of you bleeding as you try to let go its not the room its not the phone on the table nor the bed in the earth nor the bed in the stable nor your stable words its not the formless being nor the cry in the air nor the boy im seeing with her long black hair its not the room not beginning not the crowd not winning not the planet thats spinning not a ruse not heat not the fire lapping up the creek not food that you eat not the meat of your thigh nor your spine tattoo nor your shimmery eye nor the wet of the dew its not the warm illusion nor the crack in the plate nor the breath of confusion nor the starkness of slate its not the room not beginning not the crowd not winning not the planet thats spinning not a ruse not heat not the fire lapping up the creek not food that you eat not what you really wanted nor the mess in your purse nor the bed that is haunted with the blanket of thirst its not the hunger revealing nor the ricochet in the cave nor the hand that is healing nor the nameless grave its not the room not beginning not the crowd not winning not the planet thats spinning not a ruse not heat not the fire lapping up the creek not food that you eat not to die not dying not to laugh not lying not the vacant wilderness vying not the room not beginning not the crowd not winning not the planet thats spinning cheers and applause you know when youre at ross and your new fall look just keeps Getting Better . Check this out thats yes for less. Score a headtotoe look youll love d save 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Blow a kiss, into the sun we need someone to lean on blow a kiss, into the sun all we need is somebody to lean on and you get first dibs on that brand. At that price . Thats yes for less. Seriously, get the fall brands and styles you love and save 20 to 60 off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody stick around for james corden good night cheers and applause theme song playing captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show

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