Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight uu. K. In the membrane. Plus, stephen welcomes Renee ZellwegerWalton Goggins and a special appearance by new zealands Prime MinisterJacinda Ardern. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on hi there thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, chris. Nick and mark, every up there, down, there out there, around the world. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, get out your sextants, your compass, your astrolabes because we are in uncharted waters. Because after two and a half years of the trump presidency, we finally spotted the great orange whale, and let me tell you, thar he blows. laughter , this morning this morning, the administration, for some reason, released the official notes of trumps phone call with ukrainian president volodymyr zelensky. Seen here thrilling his fans with crazy train. And these notes that they released of this phone call make trump look and i dont want to get too technical bad. laughter the call starts with trump congratulating zelensky on his recent victory in parliamentary elections, but then he quickly reminds zelenksy how much ukraine owes the u. S. The United States has been very, very good to ukraine. I wouldnt say that its reciprocal. laughter as trump i wouldnt say its been reciprocal, because i dont know what that word means. laughter im just saying all im saying cheers and applause look, volody, all im saying. I scratch your back. You help me bury joe bidens political career in a shallow grave in the woods down by the dump. Zelenksy immediately picked up on it. Yes, you are absolutely right. Not only 100 , but actually 1000 . This guy speaks trumps language. as zelensky not just 100 , 1000 . Many are saying the most bigly percents anyone has ever seen, fake news, witch hunt, no collusion. laughter okay. Lets collude. laughter zelenksy trumped on i would also like to thank you for your great support in the area of defense. We are ready to continue to cooperate for the next steps. Specifically, we are almost ready to buy more javelins from the United States for defense purposes. Yes, were selling them javelins. But if russian tanks roll into kiev, we will upgrade them to the shotput and discus. Maybe hammer throw. Well haha turns out javelins are a Missile System that we were sending u. K. To fight the russians who invaded their country, but we stopped that right before this phone call. Zelensky says he wants those missiles, and here comes the quid pro quote. Trump immediately says, i would like you to do us a favor, though. bell ringing as Game Show Host ladies and gentleman, our contestant has said todays secret words the phrase that pays the ukraine in exchange for the phrase that pays the ukrainian in exchange for political favors tell the president what hes won as gameshow announcer its protracted impeachment inquiry, a permanent stain on his already shameful legacy, and a lovely broyhill dinette set. Broyhill eat crow in style now, first, trump asked if they could find hillarys email server from 2016. That was the first favor. Then, trump named the foreign interference he wanted in our 2020 election. The other thing, theres a lot of talk about bidens son, that biden stopped the prosecution, and a lot of people want to find out about that, so whatever you can do with the attorney general would be great. We do a lot for you, like missiles. I need a favor, though, investigate biden. There it is pressuring a foreign country to provide dirt to influence our election. They should hold the impeachment now. All in favor, say yea. Yay yay cheers and applause stephen now, the attorney general trump mentioned is our attorney general. Several times in the phone call, he said he would have william barr call zelensky to help ukraine dig up dirt on trumps political enemies. But today, barr denied involvement in trumps Smear Campaign against biden. Ey, whats the matter, billy, dont you trust your old buddy don . Hell protect you the same way he protected his other friends Paul Manafort and michael cohen. They both get free clothes, comfy beds, and magic toilets that make wine. laughter and when trump told zelensky that giuliani would also be in touch, he told the most outrageous lie of all mr. Giuliani is a highly respected man. laughter applause as trump you dont get cable tv in ukraine do you . No . Good. Very highly respected. Very highly respected. Also, very human teeth, very. laughter now, trumps defense has not been exactly well organized today. This morning, a politico reporter tweeted hmmm, the white house just sent its talking points on ukraine to house democrats. But almost immediately after sending the dems their insider communication strategy, sources say the white house just sent a followup to recall the email. House democrats responded with their own email. L. O. L, sorry, no backsies. Impeach. cheers and applause the white houses talking points are about what you would expect, with claims like, what the president actually talked about was entirely proper. And, this is just another example of the deep state, the media, and democrats damaging our National Security for political gain. And the transcript clearly shows there was no quid pro yes, all he did was suggest no more military aid unless they investigated biden. Thats just quid pro joe. Who knows whats going to happen here, its anybodys guess. But this phone call is pretty damning. So, a visibly miffed trump but also exhausted donald trump, talked about the call with reporters at the u. N. , and said it could have been worse. There was no pressure. The way you had it built up, that call, it was going to be the call from hell. It turned out to be a nothing call other than a lot of people said, i never knew you could be so nice. Stephen yes. laughter yes, its true. People didnt know trump could be so nice specifically, don jr. And eric. as eric wait, dad, you offered to give stuff to that ukrainian guy . Why did you offer that guy stuff . I thought you said presents were for the weak santa is gonna get an earful from me in my next letter. laughter he also insisted he also insisted cheers and applause he also insisted that there was nothing to see here. Its the single greatest witch hunt in american history, probably in history, but in american history. Its a disgraceful thing. The letter was a great letter, meaning the letter revealing the call. Stephen as trump the letter was a great letter, that was actually a call. Brrrngbrrng. Oh, my mailbox is ringing. Hello . Sorry, i cant hear you. Im all out of stamps. laughter then, this afternoon, trump sat down at the u. N. With the ukrainian president. Their joint press conference began with trump explaining just how well he knew the ukrainian people. I know a lot of people from ukraine, theyre great people, and i own something called the Miss Universe pageant. We had a winner from ukraine, and we have really had we got to know the country very well in a lot of different ways. Stephen as trump the Miss Universe pageant taught me a lot about the ukrainian people. They are all very tall, very blond, very thin. They wear swimsuits and high heels. ukraine on it, and they have no lock on their dressing room doors. Its a beautiful culture. Its a true story. By the way and im sure you saw this coming ukraine has never won Miss Universe. Its just another lie. Or maybe she won miss alternate universe, which is where i wish i lived right now. But politics arent the only thing zelensky admires about president trump. In the phone call he also said, last time i traveled to the United States, i stayed in new york near central park, and i stayed at the trump tower. Yes, in fact, he stayed in the don jr. Memorial russian colluderoom. He loved it, especially later in the summer. And trump had a great suggestiod best friend. I really hope that you and president putin get together and can solve your problem. Stephen ah, yes, that moment where your ridiculous actions finally catch up with you. Can we see that again . I really hope that you and president putin get together and can solve your problem. That would be a tremendous achievement. Stephen it works. It works. Stephen and he ended with a fairly big announcement that trump made up. Nancy pelosi, as far as im concerned, unfortunately, she is no longer the speaker of the house. Stephen what . Wait. What, i just its that seas . Well, in that case, donald trump, as far as im concerned, unfortunately, is no longer president of the United States. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you. Renee zellweger is here. But when we return, a very special guest in town from the u. N. General assembly. Stick around twentieth reunion. And these new highrise slim straights are it. Take that jane fineberg. Take what . Jane i see youre still a weirdo. Made a whole career of it babe. Thirty percent off your entire purchase and forty percent when you use or open an Old Navy Credit card. Ever since you brought me home, that day. Ive been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love . This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, shs. B ected from mm,likeeow. 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Try our new warm grain bowls today. Order now on grubhub. cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody give it up for the band stephen oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, jon. We hav fabu reneendeed. Stephen playing judy garland in the new movie judy. And tomorrow, none other than the man himself senator Bernie Sanders will be here. Give a thought or two. Folks, the u. N. General assembly is in new york city right now. And one meeting at this years assembly i was keeping my eye on was between donald trump and Prime Minister of new zealand, Jacinda Ardern, seen here after being asked how each felt about treason with ukraine. laughter now, i happen to have a special place in my heart for Prime Minister ardern, because during last years general assembly, she visited the show and sat down for an interview. She even invited me to come to new zealand to become an official citizen of hobbiton. Not too shabby applause yeah, please. Everybody, keep your eyes peeled. Because this time of year in new york, you never know when youll bump into someone like new zealand Prime MinisterJacinda Ardern. cheers and applause . Hi, Stephen Stephen oh, wow what wont you please . Wont you please . Please, have a seat. Thank you so much for being here. Please. New zealand Prime MinisterJacinda Ardern . What are you doing here . You said my name, so i came out. I thought thats how the show works. Stephen right, thats how Jeff Goldblum always gets in here. Thanks for stopping by. My pleasure. I invited you to come to new zealand. And you havent been there, and its awkward. Stephen well, sorry. I assumed you were just kidding. I invite people over to my place all the time, and i never mean it. Jon but, stephen, you just invited the whole band over to your place for crabfest. Stephen and i meant it i totally mean it. Yeah. quietly i didnt mean it. There is no crabfest. I 100 meant it. We would love to have you. Stephen i would love to come. Let me check my schedule. Thats actually your schedule. Stephen yeah, yeah. Wrong year, wrong year. How about how about later this week . I, unfortunately, still have the u. N. Trying to save the world thing. Stephen right, yeah, yeah. But next week . Stephen next week . That is crabfest, im afraid. laughter okay. Week after . Stephen week after that, week after that. Well, you know what im supposed to travel to with my crew to an island nation south of australia to film a series of comedy segments. But what if i cancel that and go to new zealand instead. Im pick you up at the airport. Stephen its a deal. Were going to new zealand in awkd. Prime minister Jacinda Ardern, everybody. Well be right back with Renee Zellweger cheers and applause these are more chip than veggie. While v8 is a snack you can veg out on. V8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. My Car Insurance to geico. This is how it made me feel. 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But i wasnt suggesting well, no, everybody suggests things, like im like im not a real person, but i am. You understand, im only judy garland for an hour a night. The rest of the time im im part of a family. I just want what everybody wants. I seem to have a harder time getting it. Stephen please welcome Renee Zellweger applause over the rainbow cheers and applause thanks so much hi wow i havent been here in a long time stephen no, welcome back. Wow, thanks very much. Stephen the ed sullivan theater. Ylovely. Cold as i recall. laughter . Stephen you gotta keep it fresh gee, keep everybody weak, right . Stephen exactly, we treat our audience and our guests like produce. The entire building is like one big crisper drawer. Im feeling that. Im feeling it. Stephen good. Well, this movie, your performance is getting rioutous accolades. The clips i have seen are incredibly beautiful, its an incredible transformation into this iconic american cultural figure world figure, really. How familiar were you with judy garlands life before you got in this role . What kind of research did you do . Well, i really didnt know anything about this chapter in her life that the film focuses on, which is toward the end of her life, the last few months before she passed. I had no idea the struggle that she was experiencing, and the challenges she was grappling with. And i dont know. I just i dont know that a lot of people know. I mean, she seems to be frozen in time. And that moment when she was immaculate and, you know, she carved her placeat the table of american icons. And, boy, she deserved it, didnt she . Something else, american treasure. I did what most people do i went down the rabbit hole of youtube and stayed there as long as i could, you know, until sunup. Stephen the internet as we call it. You click on one clip. Anything that spoke to you particularly for this time period . Well, did love i did love watching the judy garland show, because there are a lot of wonderful outtakes now. Stephen this is from that period of time. Oh, yeah, there it is stephen theres judy from that period of time. Its incredible. And then this is you. Oh, wow. applause wow, look at that. Well, thanks thats very sweet. Well and, you know, the internet is a fabulous research tool, isnt it . Stephen ive heard good things, yeah. Yeah. No, i just immersed myself in, kn, the treasures of h