And were trying to do the same thing with cars. Cars have so much junk on them now to save a tiny little fraction of gasoline. It can be a little bit heavier. siren when somebody hits me, i want to be in as close to an army tank as possible. alarm the best is yet to come. Thank you very much, president trump. Thank you. cheers and applause its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, hispandering. Plus, stephen welcomes senator Elizabeth Warren and the brady bunch. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo hello welcome cheers stephen thank you folks, welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Big weekend applause big doings. First of all, i want to say to everybody here who works at the show and everybody watching happy 800th late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight is the 800th show. Jon oh, my goodness stephen how many did we say we were going to do . Okay, were great. And a big weekend coming up for us. Were all, the whole gang, is goingute to los angeles for the emmys, and were going stroa good time. Might run into donald trump out there. Ill tell you what, hes out there panning for gold, okay. He had that was a big nugget of gold in there. Jon looking for a lot. Stephen he is fundraisers today in Silicon Valley and los angeles. But because hes so unpopular in california, the events were shrouded in secrecy. In fact, attendees at tuesdays event were not even provided with the address of the lunch. Though, it is easy to find trumps lunch just follow the trail of ketchup packets and filetofish wrappers. Still, still applause thank you. Flio fish still, the events sold out in a hurry. According to one california republican, theyre excited because weve had surrogates like don jr. Come out. But this is the real thing. laughter yeah the real thing hollywood wants to see the special effects that make trump seem so lifelike. Okay, so the legs are hydraulic, but the head appears to be a burlap bag filled with styrofoam beads. Nice, nice from a distance now trump, of course, is a tv guy. So its no coincidence that his l. A. Fundraiser is taking place during emmy week. He is up for Outstanding Achievement in visual effects for sharpie on a weather map. cheers and applause now, i can understand going to los angeles. Hes not popular there, but hollywood is a thin layer of dirt scattered over a pool of money. Everyone wants to get their drill bit through that crust into that sweet bubblin cash crude. Theyre largely liberal, but theres enough money that everyone, no matter how horrible, gets funded. Trump is, lets say, the emoji movie of candidates. But Something Weird is going on here. His internal polling must be terrible, because he is reaching out to people who want nothing to do with him. And this time, its not melania. Because last night, last night cheers and applause thank you. Jon coldblooded stephen last night, the president held a rally in a state he lost last time by eight points, new mexico. as trump i like my mexicos like i like my wives new. laughter applause so i like that new so after four years of donald trump throwing latinos under the bus that he stopped at the border, by saying that illegal and legal immigrants are all coming to kill us, trumps plan to win is to woo hispanic voters. Woo, boy. Buena suerte with that, el trumpo. laughter applause right now, trumps Approval Rating among hispanics is 25 . So, this is like cruella de vil trying to woo sarah mclauchlin. as trump in the arms of the angels fara trump must really need los hombres hispanico because he laid it on muoy thick yesterday marked the beginning of the hispanic heritage month. Who is hispanic here . cheers and applause stephen always a good sign, asking minorities to identify themselves. laughter as trump okay, who here is latino . Raise your hands. Whoah. I cant believe you fell for that. Round em up, boys cheers and applause adios. Jon theyre coming around the mountain with that. Far away then trump singled out an hispanic buddy in the crowd, cable news commentator and date letting you know he is wearing a tie, just not where you think, steve cortes. Trump told the crowd what made cortes so special. But ill tell you what, there is nobody that loves this country more or hispanic more than james corden. Steve. Thank you, steve. Nobody loves the hispanics more. Who do you like more, the country or the hispanics . Stephen what . Who do you like more, steve, the country or the hispanics because i cant decide which to destroy first. Trump has gotten a lot of criticism for his racist immigration policies but he doesnt understand why. Im the least racest person in this room. Stephen maybe, your rallies do set a low bar. Trump has weakened the clean water act, but he told the crowd he is definitely, definitely, an environmentist. I am an environmentalist. We are going to keep our nation clean, but you know, the universe is so big that when you talk about china, the u. S. A. , india, you talk about these different places where a lot of bad stuff comes out, right . Its so big that its right next to each other. Its right next to each other. Does that make sense . Stephen no. laughter no. Not at all, actually. as trump its so big, that theyre right next to each other. And, in a way, its so small, theyre far apart. The same way the same way hispanics hate me so much that love me. Does that make sense . But trump wasnt the only one rallying last night. So was massachusetts senator and drama teacher in hour four of guys and dolls auditions, Elizabeth Warren. Senator warren cheers and applause jon uhoh uhoh. Stephen keep talking . Keep talking . I should stop . Senator warren is our guest tonight. But cheers and applause but last night, she held a rally in new yorks Washington Square park, which drew a crowd of 20,000 people yeah, 20,000 20,000 jon 20 thou stephen only 3,000 of which were there to score weed. Smoke, smoke, smoke. It was a stirring speech in which warren pledged to take on government corruption. Corruption has taken over our government, and we are running out of time. Corruption has put our planet at risk. Corruption has broken our economy. And corruption is breaking our democracy. Donald t is corruption in the flesh. Stephen it is cheers and applause bold words. Bold. Bold words. And it is very generous to call that flesh. Warren also took a subtle jab at the current democratnner, joe b. Theres a lot at stake in this election, and i know people are scared. But we cant choose a candidate we dont believe in just because were too scared to do anything else. cheers and applause and democrats cant win if were scared and looking backward. I. Am not. Afraid. cheers and you cant be afraid, either stephen shes right. Remember the wise words of master yoda. Fear is the path of the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate leads to president trump. applause jon i like stephen so good. The immortal frank incredible, incredible. Jon perfect. Hits me every time. Stephen back in washington this afternoon, the House Judiciary Committee heard testimony from former Trump Campaign manager corey lewandowski, seen here learning that crimes are illegal and republican Ranking Member doug collins had the courage to ask the question nobody else would. The only thing we agree on in the Mueller Report is foreign influence from russia. But, yes, wheres the bill . Wheres the bill . Wheres waldo . Stephen oh, i know this one i know this one he used to be in the top right corner of the page behind the beach, behind the fire juggler, but trump deported him. as trump had to do it. Because waldo is short for edwaldo. Now, this was a very contentious hearing, especially when lewandowski was questioned by Sheila Jackson lee. Congressman, id be happy to answer your question, or you can have a conversation by yourself, but if youd like to ask me a question, i will be happy to answer it. This is a house judiciary, not a house party. Stephen its not . applause wow. Then why is brett there with two kegs . laughter weve got a great show for you tonight. Elizabeth warren is here. Stick around. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Give it up for jon batiste and stay human right there give it up for the band cheers and applause stephen oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Jon i like that. I like that. Stephen jon, jon, jon, a little later tonight, were going to have the original cast of the brady bunch is going to be here. Jon oh, yeah. Stephen right over there. applause stephen and tomorrow, the great Billy Crystal will be joining us. Always fun. Jon legendary, legendary. Stephen its like a vacation for me. You just push play, and he just goes. Stephen how many questions do you get in . Stephen one and a half. Tonight, my first guest is the senior senator of the great state of massachusetts and is currently running for president. Please welcome senator Elizabeth Warren applause cheers and applause yes stephen thank you. Thank you, maam. Why dont why dont we just cheers and applause why dont we just quit now and do a selfie line . We can have some fun. Stephen we dont have four hours, maam. Its so good to see you. Stephen good to see you, too. And i was saying backstage, that rally last night, 20,000 people, your biggest rally so far. Yup. applause stephen and i understand i understand that you did do a very long selfie linards. We did. Stephen how many selfies is too many . Do you have any idea how many did you . I have no idea how many we did. 20,000 people, it seemed like about 26,000 stayed for selfies. Stephen by the way, im so sorry that we only have 450 people here tonight. Thank you for slumming here at the ed sullivan. You know, the selfies are the most fun about this. And it truly is the case because it means you get the persontoperson about this. And it means for every Single Person who stays in that line and, look, somebody waited four hours, you know, the guy at the end. But its its about power and its about saying, i get it. Weve got a washington thats working great for the rich and the powerful. Not working for much of anyone else. You came in here. You talked about how its broken. You talked about how to fix it. And people who say, i can do a piece of that. Im in th fight all the way. And i got a selfie to prove it so thats where we are. Stephen thats validating the parking ticket is what it is. And its fun. Stephen in the speech last night and i saw a fair chunk of it last night. You said, we cant choose a candidate we dont believe in just because were too scared to do anything else. Um, now some people saw that by some people eye mean everyone saw that as a veiled shot at joe biden. Is that accurate . No. Its no, the way i see this is these really are scary times. Its scary times because donald trump is truly a terrible president. Not just bad, terrible. cheers and applause stephen well, then let me make the case let me just go ahead okay, people are people are seeing you refer to biden in that because when things do get scary and it is a scary time people run to the familiar. They run to the safe. They run to the comfortable. And people are saying that biden is that feeling for people. Like, you remember how you used to feel . I am that feeling, is kind of his message. How do you how do you make yourself familiar and comfortable to these people . Because youre compared to him, youre a fairly new fig outer national stage. So i guess i just dont see it the same way, stephen. I see this as either, you know, we can hide under the covers. Or we can say, no. We get it. The government isnt working for us. Donald trump is in charge, but things have been broken for a very long time. And instead of hiding, we can actually come together, all of us, fight back and make this the country we want it be. For me, this is about looking forward. cheers and applause stephen well, in a way okay, ill i accept what you say. Last night you did reach back to 1911, though, in your speech. I watched eightminute chunk that you guys put up online last night on your twitter feed, talking about the triangle shirtwaist factory fire. Right. Stephen and basically im paraphrasing you, feel free to correct me. You were saying,un, we learned a lesson over 100 years ago, and women helped teach that lesson and make sure that lesson became action that we cannot trust corporate interests and big business without regulation to control what theyre doing to the workers. Thats right. Stephen in some ways arent you looking back fondly at a time when that kind of activism changed life for workers . So heres how i see this. That story of the triangle shirtwaist factory fire is a story of corruption. You know, by the time that fire occurred, there had alreadyeen protest march, there had been lots of story in the press. There had been lots where people talked about the very dangerous condition. And, yet, the factory owners werein b bucks off it. So instead of making changes in their factories, what they did is they went to albany and they made big Political Campaign contributions. And they greased the wheels of government so that nothing happened. Thats what happens when the rich and the powerful capture our government. But its a story about power in the other direction as well. After that fire, the women got organized, and they said, were going to keep rallying. Were going to keep protesting. Theyre going to the push from the outside. But Francis Perkins who happened to be visiting, saw the fire, saw the women who jumped to their deaths, she said, im going to be on the other side. Im going to be in government, and im going to landlord the fight from there. And this is what happened. Over time she goes to albany in 1911 when women dont even have the vote, and she heads up a commission that investigates. They talk about fire safety, get changes. Then moved to rewriting the labor laws. The Great Depression hits. Franklin roosevelt takes her to washington. She becomes the first woman to serve in the cabinet of a president of the united states. And what does she do . She leads her party. She leads from the inside. Millions of people lead from the outside. Expp what happens . Well, she was woman with a plan, and they got big structural change. Thats when we goin america a minimum wage. Thats when we got unemployment insurance. Thats with we got Social Security in america. Shoot, thats when we actually got the weekend. This is big change applause so, when when people say to me, this is too hard. Come on, government tjust goes on. Governments captured by all the guys with all the money. I say, wait a minute. In america, weve made big structural change before. Think of it this way what did they say to the suffragettes. Dont even try. Its too hard. Quit now. What did they say to the early civil rights wrkers, the foot soldiers in the Civil Rights Movement . Too hard, give up now. To the early union organizers. Too hard, give up now. To the lgbtq activists, too hard, give up now. But they didnt give up. They got organized. They persisted, and they change americas history. cheers and applause . Stephen and, yet, they persisted. And, yet, they persisted. We can do the same and thats what this is about. Stephen do you think that this there is there is more sort of theres more corruption now than there was before . Because there is a lot of centralized monetary power in washington on k. Street, from the lobbyists controlling an enormous amount such an enormous amount of money. Do you think its going to be a harder fight than it was 100 years ago . So, for me, the comparison is not 100 years ago. The comparison is 50 years ago. Right . 50 years ago, we had a government. We had labor unions. And we had big corporations. And the three kind of balanced the power out against each other. Power in the hands of the workers, power in the hands of the government, and power in the hands of the corporations. What happened is the corporations figured out, starting roughly late 70s, earth 1980, that, shoot, best investment to be made is not in technology, not in new factories. Best investment is go buy some politicians in washington. And they started investing in politicians. And you watch the roles just start to shift. They take the legs out from underneath the unions and they take the legs out from underneath the government and they capture that government. Thats the problem. Its not just donald trump. I get it, he is corruption in the flesh. But the striewght a country that a the truth, is a country that elects donald trump is already in serious trouble. Really bad trouble. applause stephen we have to take a quick break. But well be right back with more senator Elizabeth Warren. Ill ask her what she would do about the attack in saudi arabia. Performance comes in lots of flavors. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. For mildtomoderate eczema, its steroid free. A. Do not use if you are allergic to eucrisa or its ingredients. 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President ial candidate senatorred with war. When i saw you look back, i dont mean youre backward thinking. Im trying to say there were things gained in the 20th century that youre proposing we go back to that pe