Theres danger. Come on come on. Gotta love it. Suspense. Intrigue. Oooh, yeah, thats good. Right now they gotta do oh, goonies. No, i cant do it again, cant do it again. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, the democrats trump, trump. Plus stephen welcomes Norman Reedus. Sean astin. And comedian pat mcgann. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Tack, tack, tack, tack particular thanks so much. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause well, folks, one year ago today, donald trump was elected president. Give him a chance. laughter yesterday, democrats commemorated this anniversary, by kicking trumps ass, using his arch enemy the popular vote. cheers and applause okay, lets go around the horn. Lets see the results. Lets start in helena, montana, where Wilmot Collins became the first black mayor in montanas history. cheers and applause jon i like that i like that stephen also and this is fun the first black person in montanas history. laughter wyoming is the 21st one out there. And in new jersey, democrat phil murphy was elected governor cheers and applause a sad day for chris christie. So, a day for chris christie. And in his acceptance speech, governorelect murphy expressed the way a lot of democrats were feeling last night. laughter let me try that. Hold on. laughter applause cheers jon make you wanna jump stephen theyve forgotten how to be happy. So, democrats have their swagger back. Theyve already updated their logo to this. laughter they also made major gains in virginias house of delegates, winning at least 15 seats in an upset cheers and applause yeah. 15 seats in an upset that stunned members of both parties. Both parties . So, even the democrats didnt democrats would win. What . No, people hate us. I demand a recount laughter virginia also elected its first transgender state lawmaker cheers and applause danica roem. And in a moment of, i think, sweet irony, the man she beat was bob marshall, the republican who introduced virginias bathroom bill. cheers and applause so, soon therell be one bathroom bob marshall cant use the one in his office. laughter of course, the big race in virginia last night was for governor, where Democrat Ralph Northam stomped republican ed gillespie 54 to 45 and it proves the states old saying virginia is for lovers of everyone but ed gillespie. One person who said he loved gillespie was donald trump, but the second gillespie lost, trump threw him under the tweet bus ed gillespie worked hard but did not embrace me or what i stand for. Clearly, if he worked hard, also jon oooh i get it, i get it. Stephen he doesnt. Also, youre lying. Because gillespie copied your whole playbook, portraying northam as enabling latino gangs, hitting n. F. L. Players for kneeling during the national anthem, and promising to keep confederate monuments up. He even copied the part where you lost the state of virginia laughter well, you know what they say, imitation is the sincerest form of you lost the state of virginia. Mr. Trump, all of these elections were about you. Significant numbers of voters in each state said trump was a reason for their vote, with far more voting to oppose you than support you. Thats the problem with making everything about you, sir. It means everything, even losing, is about you. Thats the downside of narcissism, along applause yeah. Yeah. Along with no one really loving you. laughter but tomorrow is another day, and trump is already there, because hes in asia. Yesterday, tomorrow, today, he gave a big speech to south Koreas National Assembly and praised the resiliency of the south korean people. In less than one lifetime, south korea climbed from total devastation to among the wealthiest nations on earth. Life expectancy has risen from just 53 years to more than 82 years today. Like korea, and since my election exactly one year ago today, i celebrate with you. Stephen urrrr that is a hard turn from korean Life Expectancy to i won the election. laughter do not have this man give the toast at your wedding congratulations to the bride and groom. I hope they have a long and happy marriage, as happy as i was when i hosted the highlyrated celebrity apprentice. top reality show of all time, tremendous. I may now kiss the bride. cheers and applause then trump continued to talk about himself. The United States is going through something of a miracle itself. Stephen its true. Ever since you were elected, all my water turned to wine technically bourbon, but im drinking a lot of it. cheers and applause then then the president addressed the most important issue facing south korea golf. Korean golfers are some of the best on earth. In fact and you know what im going to say. Stephen yes, so please dont. The womens u. S. Open was held this year at Trump National golf club in bedminster, new jersey. Stephen now, it may sound crass, but a lot of president s use foreign trips to hawk their personal products. Remember, nixon went to china, but he was just there to promote dick nixons salad fixins. I am not a crouton laughter but the big question going into trumps trip to south korea was how hed deal with the threat from north korea. Now, past president s have made a point to visit the Demilitarized Zone zones between the two countries, or the d. M. Z. , between north and south. But last week, before he left, the president was playing coy about a d. M. Z. Visit. The d. M. Z. , yes or no . Are you going, yes or no . Well, id rather not say. But youll be surprised. What does that mean, sir . Youll be surprised. Stephen does donald trump know what the word surprise means . Id rather not say if were throwing you a party. But on your birthday, show up to the Bowling Alley at 5 00, and youll be surprised. Also, also and im not asking for any particular reason can you bring sheet cake . laughter sometimes sometimes sometimes i enjoy the jokes too much. laughter then, this morning, press secretary harrah i almost said harrah suckabee sanders. Sarah Huckabee Sanders its going to be a long night. Gathered reporters cheers and applause over its over we had a good run, two years, two months. Anyway, sarah Huckabee Sanders gathered reporters who were traveling with the president and made a big announcement. Sort of. Because it was such a big secret that she had been instructed not even to utter the location aloud and said, this is where were going while holding up a piece of notebook paper on which she had scrawled the letters d. M. Z. cheers and applause which, of course, stands for wheres the fjord . In case theyre going to norway. It was all going according to plan, until the visit to the d. M. Z. Was called off due to fog. Thats right, north korea watch out kim jongun do not test donald trump, because if you do, he will rain down fire and fury the likes youve never seen unless its misty. In which case, seoul is all yours weve got a great show for you tonight. Norman reedus is here. But when we return, trump visits china, and im visited by a friendly hobo. snice. Stick around. Hurry in get fifty percent off all jeans, sweaters, and outerwear at old navy. All smartphones are more or less the same, right . But this is the moto z. Hello moto. Can your phone turn into a projector . Because a 70 inch projection beats any phone screen. And they might be bragging about portrait mode. But can your phone go beyond and transform into a real 360 camera . Its time to reinvent your smartphone. Its time to move on. Moto mods on the new moto z, from motorola. Get 200 off a moto z2 force edition. bell mnemonic [ america by simon can i cross it off yet . Almost. And. Now. The volkswagen atlas. With available digital cockpit. Lifes as big as you make it. Pre crowd cheering presents for them, kohls cash for you announcer kohls. Give joy. Get joy. Made with 100 ribeye beef, fresh spring mix and provalone cheese on a potato bun. R im inviting the whole industry to try it. Of course ill protect their identities. Like this. Try my first ever ribeye burgers. Introducing fast foods first made with 100 ribeye beef, fresh spring mix and provolone cheese on an artisan potato bun. Yep, nailed it come try my new ribeye burgers. Only at jack in the box. band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, ladies and gentlemen. Right there. cheers and applause oh, folks. Folks, you know, information President Trump is still off on his trip through asia. He arrived today in china, although he kept calling it thailand because its where they make his ties. He spent a lot of time with his old buddy chinese president xi jinping. Theyve been friends since xi visited maralago and trump asked him how china got mexico to pay for their wall. Seeing the two together, i understand why they bonded, theyre both leaders of super powers. Its nice to have someone who understands what youre going through, a friend, a buddy, the kind of person who can finish your. Pudding. Pudding. He can finish your pudding. cheers and applause stephen jon stewart, everybody jon i dont know if i am. cheers and applause all right, jon, i gotta ask please. Hes here all the time. Sit down ladies and gentlemen, jon stewart, obviously. Jon, what are you doing under my desk. I watch the show from there every night. Its unbelievable. Its a frontrow seat to the number one ankles in late night. Stephens ankles the smart choice. Stephen what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, jon . Can i get you another pudding. Thats some incredible object work youre doing. Thats what i was thinking. I was going to do pantomime work but i figured ill use real pudding. Well, stephen, as you know, ill be hosting the night of too many stars to support next for autism, on saturday, november 18, on hbo. Its live and on hbo, which means i will be having somewhat night sex with a robot looking at you, james marsden. Stephen thats a good choice. Thats a good choice. Its a westworld reference. Obviously we dont have premium cable audience here tonight. Stephen night of too many stars, did i get the title right. Night of too many stars. Stephen can there be too many stars. Ive got chris rock, adam sandler, olivia munn, ellie kemper, john oliver, Stephen Colbert. Stephen Stephen Colbert wait. Stephen colbert. Stephen i very very good things about him. His ankles, alone. Unbelievable. The smartest in late night. What will always those people be doing. Were raising money for a great cause, support next for every dollar every one. Every dollar every dollar every nickel. It will b will be raised to help somebody with autism. Since we started this 12 years ago, 24 million. Stephen 24 million, wow, that is 2 million. You know what im going to do. Stephen what are you going to do . Im going to take this home and see if a raccoon will get its head stuck in this. That might go viral, jon. 24 million, that family must be rich now. Were spreading it out to different families. Stephen thats smart. It goes to many families across the america. Celebrities are donating incredible experiences to help raise even more money. For instance, Stephen Colbert is offering an Incredible Opportunity here at the late show. Stephen i am, and i cant way to see what it is im offering. Before you tell people, im feeling a little parched and need to get a sip of water here. Please tell me what im offering. laughter one lucky winner is going to spend an entire episode of the late show under your desk. laughter applause stephen what . What . Jon wow. Stephen you who. I cannot believe your mouth holds that much water. Thats fool nam. Stephen its an Incredible Opportunity, jon ive got the hottest ankles in late night you do. You just put out a fire on my cheek. Stephen good, wow. And theres more. The winner will stay down here for the monologue, get to ask a question to that nights guest, and pop up and do a punchline while stephen is at the desk. Stephen not my precious punchlines yes. Stephen well, i happen to know another detail of this amazing prize. Do you . laughter stephen yes, jon. Yes. And this is the detail. laughter for one whole segment of the show. The winner will be joined under the desk by jon stewart cheers and applause hand him another emmy yup, that will be me. Stephen yup, youre under the desk, jon. Thats what it says up here. Does this sound amazing to you . Ill tell you what, how does your suit get to bead the water in that way . Thats tremendous. Stephen they scotchguard me before you come on the show, jon. This is going to be a onceinalifetime opportunity. Go to www. Omaze. Com colbert to support next for autism and enter to win the chance to spend an theres no more water down there. To spend an episode of the late show under my desk jon, you better make some room down there. Okay. Stephen jon stewart, everybody. Watch night of too many stars, saturday forget it. November 18 on hbo, and go bid online. Well be right back with Norman Reedus. Is this it . [ barking ] its go time. Woohoo sir, the kids need you. Later lobster. [ sirens blaring ] [ minion babble ] [ holiday music playing ] hurry lets go thanks for coming everyone some of you from far, far, away. [ heavy breathing ] we found this special house. For a super special family. Uh, wheres the special part . Well, thats where you all come in [ all cheering ] here, i see a big tree. And a fireplace for all the stockings. Copy that. Tvs in the game room here we go and a closet filled with holiday outfits dream houses do come true think theyll like it . Yeah, theyre gonna love it. dog growls named after a star. Crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. Host one to remember. The amazing new iphone 8 is at at t. And we know youll love it. Because we know you want more. More great camera features and more power. And more than just unlimited data, we give you unlimited plans with hbo included for life. Because you deserve more entertainment. And more spokespeople. Talking like this, saying the word more. At t. Its time for more. Am i too close . I feel like im too close. Get the iphone 8 and with all at t unlimited plans, get hbo for life. Only from at t. Well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human. Hey, everybody, you know, folks, youre in luck. My first guest is daryl from the walking dead and host of ride with Norman Reedus. Please welcome Norman Reedus applause stephen good to see you. The people are so excited when you come out here. Thank you for coming back. Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for having me. Stephen last time it was the same reaction. People went crazy. We needus some reidus. You should run for elected office. That would be a great slogan. You dont want that to happen. Stephen you dont want to run for office . Maybe, maybe, sure. Stephen youre on a tv show. Thats all it takes at this point. Wait, i brought you a present. Stephen no way nobody brings me presents. What did you bring . What . That is a Norman Reedus that is a the walking dead air freshener. That is yeah, that really smells dead. Yeah gr that is really that is really nice. Now, okay, now the last time you were here, you were talking about you were learning to, like, poach an egg or Something Like that, and make hol an dais sauce. How did that work out . Did you figure out how to do it yet . I gave up. Stephen you gave up on how to cook an egg. The egg part i got down. Stephen its just butter and egg yolk, and lemon juice . Im not sure. Stephen did you try to improvise or did you ask a chef. I just forgot and got busy and gave up. Stephen oh, okay. Okay, so you cant do that im not going to spit on you, i promise. Heres you and your coep from the walking dead. You opened a restaurant in georgia. Whats it called . Nic normans. Stephen what kind of food are we talking about here . Poaches eggs and hollandais sauce . Its southern feelgood food and a lot of it. Stephen what can i get there, things fried i assume . Things fried and mountains of gravy on stuff fried and i dont eat meat but the black meat burger is big. Stephen you dont do meat at all . Thats big in the south, meat. It is. Stephen how does nic eat the meats . We have sort of a competition, because we all had to come up with burgers. Theres a black bean burger. He came up with a sort of bleu cheese burger, and our competition is who is going to order more of our burgers. And hes crushing me right now. Stephen well, listen, is it, like a Family Restaurant . Yes, sir, its a kind of like, if your whole family got drunk and went there and needed, like, sobering food, it would be like that. laughter . Stephen yeah. Yeah. Right right from there, right to the Family Counseling. Right after that. Correct. Stephen before or after Family Counseling on, like, a sunday afternoon, Something Like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,. Stephen that could be good. Youve got the new show ride with Norman Reedus. This is the second season. We had you on last year for the first season. So what happens again on this show . What does is required to be on ride with Norman Reedus . Youve got to know how to ride a motorcycle. Stephen okay. You have to be a celebrity, right . Well, not necessarily. There is a lot of people to that are custom bike builders or just friends of mine that do art and so forth. A friend of mine, patrick holly, in hawaii stephen you rode notification to hawaii . In hawaii. Thats easier. Stephen i dont know how to ride a motorcycle. I can teach you. Stephen no, i know how to ride a motorcycle. I grew up in North Carolina. What kind o