>> steve: from 30 rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight join jimmy and his guests - shawn mendes, tig notaro, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now here's your host, jimmy fallon ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show. we are coming at you from studio 6a here in rockefeller plaza in new york city let's get to the news and jokes. well guys, we are just one week away from election day [ applause ] i can't believe it's that soon i mean, it feels like the last four years have just really flown by seriously, every morning since 2016, democrats have been carving the days into the walls like they're doing time at rikers island. [ laughter ] if biden wins, democrats are gonna walk out of their houses with an extra 50 pounds of muscle and a jug of toilet wine [ laughter ] that's right, we're just seven days away from the election, and just seven months from knowing who won. that's exciting. [ audience groans yep. in seven days we'll find out if trump is sticking around or getting replaced like the bachelorette this week cannot go fast enough if you're looking for ways to pass the time, just ask joe biden to tell one story from high school my pall ski ball were on our way to the sock hop. [ laughter ] but seven days is still a lot of time. if you get in line to vote now, there's a really good chance you'll make it to the front by november 3rd [ laughter ] everyone's excited about this election i mean, check out how many people have already voted. >> we are one week out from election day, and look at that number more than 65 million ballots already cast >> jimmy: that's right, over 65 million have already voted. and thanks to the supreme court, almost 3 million of those will be counted. these voting numbers are incredible the united states could have its highest election turnout since 1908 you know 2020's been rough when we're like, "let's party like it's 1908! ♪ [ laughter ] i love that. 1908 was a lot like 2020 the country was divided. turnout was high and bernie sanders lost in the primary. [ audience groans a lot of groaners tonight, huh [ laughter ] cheer up come on, man that's right, the u.s. is on track for the highest election turnout since 1908 that got me wondering, why were so many people voting in 1908? well, when you compare today's issues to back then, it kind of makes sense. for example, in 2020, voters want to stop a global warming catastrophe. in 1908, voters wanted to stop pollution from the four cars that existed in 2020, voters want to settle things at the ballot box in 1908, voters wanted to settle things by racing a donkey and an elephant and finally, in 2020, voters complain the election season is like watching paint dry. in 1908, voters said, "paint drying i got to check this out. [ laughter ] with the time running short until the election, both campaigns are going all out and holding as many rallies across the country as they can. listen to this >> an active day on the trail, joe biden stopping in georgia, kamala harris in nevada. the former president, barack obama campaigning for the democrats in orlando, florida jill biden heads to maine. the president hits a trio of midwest states, michigan, wisconsin and nebraska's second congressional district vice president mike pence is in the carolinas today and the first lady is traveling to pennsylvania >> jimmy: whew usually the only people who travel this much are salesmen and fugitives. yep, trump and pence are everywhere even the coronavirus was like, "guys, please gimme a second to catch up." i think all the traveling confused trump, cause he bragged about saving nebraska's auto industry and rescuing the great dairy farms of michigan. i'm not sure trump's rallies are really moving the needle it's hard to convince voters you deserve a second term when your speech has 42 mentions of the word "plague." [ laughter ] but you can tell trump's getting tired cause at one rally he just rolled out a a television and played a video like a substitute teacher. [ laughter ] you know what's better than reading "moby dick?" watching "air bud. listen to what's going on with gym's in newark. >> new restrictions aimed at stopping a surge in coronavirus cases take effect today in newark gyms and fitness centers are under orders to shut down for 30 minutes every hour for a deep cleaning. >> jimmy: 30 minutes every hour the only person who's going to get in shape is the janitor. [ laughter ] already there's one creepy employee who just walks up to the machines and whispers, "bath time [ laughter ] bath time. ♪ bath time bath tim bath tim bath time ♪ go rap. ♪ bath time bath tim it's time to take a bath ♪ ♪ it's time to ge the soap out and then you wash your ♪ [ laughter ] >> tariq: i was waiting for you to cut me off. say hey! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a familiar show. sorry. sorry, i forgot to do that yeah ♪ >> questlove: wait that's billy bob thornton's character on - >> tariq: oh yeah, "sling blade. [ mumbling ] >> tariq: bath time. >> jimmy: bath time. you mind if i hang out with your son and be best friends with him [ laughter ] i don't know if you guys should be hanging out in the woods. no, i'm doing like - ♪ ♪ call me mr boombastic mr fantastic mister bath time bath time ♪ >> questlove: it's not right without higgins here ♪ bath time now you got to watch your ♪ >> questlove: it's nor right >> jimmy: it's not right, no oh yeah, that's right. that's right hey, i'm a little worried that newark planet fitness is taking better precautions than the coronavirus task force [ laughter ] let's change gears i heard about a billionaire in california who is feuding with his neighbor and recently, their fight took an interesting turn. watch this ♪ sit right back an you'll hear a tale a tale of a fateful trip ♪ >> two neighbors in laguna beach, california, they've been in a dispute over a lawn sculpture so, billionaire bill gross, he's been blaring the "gilligan's island" theme song at all hours of the day and night in an attempt to annoy the neighbors in hopes that they'll drop their complaint over the sculpture [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so to recap, he annoyed his neighbor by also making himself listen to the "gilligan's island" theme song he was like, "sorry, i only wanted to do it for three hours, but it wound up being much longer. [ laughter ] [ applause ] bob denver fans. ♪ bob denve bob denver ♪ i'll be honest, i just think it's nice that we can still find things to fight about besides the election and finally i saw that four loko is coming out with new bottled drinks called pregame. here they are. >> questlove: what >> jimmy: it's perfect for when you wanna pass out before leaving the house. [ laughter ] to buy a bottle, you have to show your id and give an emergency contact. that's right you can either drink it, or just skip a step and put yourself in the back of a police car [ applause ] we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: we have a great show for you tonight everybody. his new album, "wonder," comes out december 4th, and his new netflix documentary, "in wonder," will be available november 23rd. shawn mendes is here tonight love that dude i love this song by the way. we're going to talk to him, and later he's going to perform his new single plus, she hosts the weekly podcast, "don't ask tig. tig notaro is here she is unbelievable. hey everybody, my new book, "5 more sleeps till christmas," came out today i'm very excited do you see the gloss on the top? that's quality gloss on the top there. i'm so psyched what this is about, kids getting anxious for christmas and probably worked about a year and a half on this thing. so it's awesome when it finally comes out. so i did the "today" show this morning and it was fun to see those guys first in-studio guest in the "today" show [ cheers and applause yeah it was awesome to see. the whole gang over there was awesome and it was a month ago i think it was number 55 thousand or something on amazon in all books. today, as of 3:30, it is the number one book! [ cheers and applause ♪ i think the move that i would do if i did "bath time," i would be like down a little bit and pop up so - ♪ >> questlove: that's charlie brown. >> jimmy: oh, yeah that is charlie brown. only on apple plus yeah anyways, i'm so psyched about this, man. >> questlove: congrats >> jimmy: everyone worked so hard on this yeah thanks, man. i'm so psyched thanks everybody for checking it out [ cheers and applause it means a lot to me i love it. guys, the pandemic is spiking, so it's still very important to wear a mask when you go outside, but there are a lot of guys out there who don't wear masks because they think it makes them look weak well, i saw a commercial for a a store that can help those guys out, and they're actually having a special halloween sale check this out >> jimmy: are you a big veiny meat man who wants to look tough while wearing your covid safety mask and you also like halloween? well, muchacho, your prayers have been answered hombre. hi, i'm lee durango, owner of masculine man masks, the number one store that sells masks with bad-ass designs for tough and often scary men. you know halloween used to be the only time of year you could whip out a bad-ass mask. but now we have to wear masks every day. that doesn't mean you can't make yours scary and messed the heck up. i have masks like dracula drinking a peanut butter protein shake, a jack-o-lantern of the tap out logo. [ laughter ] frankenstein getting his crossfit gym membership revoked because he got too yoked and a bunch of bugs and bug guts are on your mouth because you're like some bug-eating villain or something not sure if that's a halloween thing or not but i have 500 of those mother [ bleep ] [ laughter ] but what if you're a really jacked up guy who's extra twisted and you don't want just any old scary mask you want one that when mommies see you walking down the street, they cover their sonny's and daughties eyes well brother, i got you, brother cause i'll show you the scariest masks on earth. but make sure no children or puppies are watching because these masks will give them permanent nightmares we hae a guy's mouth that has chuckie hiding inside of it, a a werewolf who has a bunch of food stuck in his teeth, and scariest mask of all, your wife asking you, "what are you thinking about?" so come on down to masculine man mask, the only way to make your mouth as bad-ass as my papa roach cover band, uncle head lice. >> masculine man masks halloween sale is located next to the steroid injected pumpkin patch and the haunted atv dealership ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: very interesting thank you very much. stick around we'll be right back with more "tonight show," everybody. ♪ election... 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[ grunts ] sorry. switch to progressive and you can save hundreds -- you know, like the sign says. ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show," everybody hey, guys, i'm about to show you some books that you should avoid at all costs it's time for the latest installment of my "do not read list!" ♪ do not read do not rea do not read these book these books ♪ >> jimmy: now before we start, i just want you to know that every book that i'm about to show you is 100% real. these are actual books you can find them on amazon or check them out at your local library. they are real. all right, let's see what's on my "do not read list!" this first one here is a book for all of you animal lovers this is called "hamsters for pleasure and profit. [ laughter ] i bet this has your usual advice on how to make money off your hamsters, but who knows let's take a look in here. it says, "begin! lose this day loitering, 'twill be the same old story, tomorrow, and the next day more dilatory each indecision brings its own delays, and days are lost lamenting o'er lost days what you can do, or think you can, begin it. boldness has genius, power and magic in it! that is a quote by the famous 17th century german writer goethe again, this is "hamsters for pleasure and profit. [ laughter ] next up is a photography book. love those this one is called "women in trees. [ laughter ] it is literally 100-plus pages of old photos of random women sitting in trees and in case that wasn't enough for you, they came out with "more women in trees." [ laughter ] that's actually more of a stump. >> tariq: yeah >> jimmy: sequels are never as good next is a paranormal book. it's perfect for halloween this is "enjoy your own funeral. [ laughter ] sounds like a fun thing to do. look at these two people they're clearly having a blast you should be able to enjoy your funeral it's your day. why should everyone else have all the fun? why let everyone else have the fun? next is a book called "is eating people wrong? [ laughter ] i'll save you the time reading this yes. i'm not sure what category this next book belongs in but this is "this man touched me. [ laughter ] yeah but you know what's even crazier, though -- shocking about this? no one checked it out. [ laughter ] well, we're down to our last book >> tariq: oh, man. >> jimmy: you know, all good things >> tariq: yeah this is an autobiography this is called "a tramp finds a home." [ laughter ] let's just hope she doesn't live next to this guy. [ applause ] there you go that's all i have for this edition of my "do not read list." if you have a book that you think should be on our next "do not read list," i want to see it send your titles to donotread@tonightshow.com. stick around, we'll be right back with shawn mendes, everybody! ♪ my name is henry. working within amazon transportation services, i really saw the challenge of climate change. we want to be sustainable, but when you have a truck covering over 300 miles, or you have flights going hundreds of miles, it's a bit more challenging. we are letting the data guide us to the best solution. it's inspiring to try to solve a problem that no one else has solved. that's super exciting. but she wanted someone who loves with the cats.ng.at so, we got griswalda. dinner's almost ready. but one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with our renters insurance. yeah, switching and saving was really easy! drink it all up. good! could have used a little salt. visit geico.com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be. tintroducing the iphone 12 prog nwith 5g.or a moment like this. now at t-mobile, the leader in 5g coverage, you can unleash the power of the epic iphone 12 pro in more places. get 2 iphone 12 pros + 2 lines of unlimited 5g for just $100. only at t-mobile. america's largest 5g network. could put cookies & creme in twix...twix this is a right twix. excuse me... 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here, it was like the beginning of the album process, and i was like in a full panic state. i was like, there's no way i'm going to make music. this is going to be impossible but, like, a week goes by and you start cooking eggs in the morning, and doing laundry and taking dogs for a walk and you have a coffee mug that you've used the same one every day, and it just becomes, like, really nice. it becomes nice. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess you've been - >> which sounds very normal for everyone else, but it's very abnormal for me. >> jimmy: well, you've been working since you were 15 or something like that? >> i was 15, and i've basically have been living in hotel rooms since i was 15 so, it's been nice, man. it's been really nice. >> jimmy: i want to talk about the new album "wonder. i love the cover, by the way >> thanks. >> jimmy: it comes out december 4th, but the single is out now, and you're performing it later tonight how did you come up with the cover? >> i mean, you know, i was in miami. that's where i am a lot of time now. so, i was in miami, and we were out on the water, and i just got the final mix of the song back, so i was playing it on the boat that i was on and all my -- not all my friends, like, three or four of my friends and camilla were on the boat and the song was playing, and we - it's just like the skies opened up, and it started pouring down >> jimmy: yeah >> this is like my biggest fear, is deep water. we all jumped off the boat in the middle of ocean. it probably was near land, but i'm going to say the middle of the ocean. but in the middle of the ocean, and it was pouring rain, and i looked around and that was kind of the essence so, you could say that was either done in the middle of the ocean, or in a parking lot in l.a it's up to you, how you want to decide what that photo actually is >> jimmy: i just know that feeling. i just think it's so cool. it's, likr, so kind of free almost that's what it feels like. >> totally, and you know, i mean, i feel like this time around, you know, i think especially with the quarantine, i had a real moment to find some stillness and just be quiet with myself, and also find some confidence with my work that i was doing, you know there was a real place inside of me that was scared of saying something wrong or doing something wrong, or, like, saying the wrong thing and i think that, after kind of chilling out and reflecting a bit, i found this place where i realized, like, when we're talking about matters of the heart, you don't have to be an expert and the whole album became about this freedom, this thing of like not being afraid of talking about things that you morally know are right or wrong. and it allowed me to just open up and that's what the whole video looks like that's what the art work looks like that's what the music sounds like it's internal freedom. >> jimmy: i want to talk about the music, 'cause i think, there's horns, there's different sounds in here i'm like, "i want to know who inspired that. like, "what was that what was that one. >> i came back off tour, and my sister, who is 17 now, who is really cool, and she's like way cooler than me now i mean, there's like -- for some reason, when girls become 17, they're like aesthetically -- they know how to do everything, and they're the coolest person in the world. so, i was like, "what are you listening to?" and she played me frankie valli, "can't take my eyes off of you. >> jimmy: really >> yeah, totally and it just kind of set me off and the whole album was like brass, 60s drums i got super into the beach boys my parents didn't listen to a lot of the beatles growing up, so i started discovering the beatles really for the first time, and it was pretty magical. so, that's kind of sonically where it all came from >> jimmy: is it intimidating when -- you're working on this album. camilla is there >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: do you go like -- is it embarrassing, or do you go like, "alright here is this song i think it's a good song." or is it like, "can you help me on this? or what is it like >> i mean, you have -- you have, like, i think -- i think you have two choices you can either like hide everything from her and just like wait till the end type thing, and you can decide, or like, what i did was like from the very beginning i like told her my thesis statement of what i wanted the album to be and, it was the best thing i did, because there's always a point halfway through a project where you're like, this is garbage. this is the worst thing i've ever done. it doesn't sound good. i don't know what i'm doing. and that's when you need that support to be like, "no. stick with the idea, because the idea is beautiful, and it's going to turn out. and i probably would have been discouraged enough to like move into a different world sonically, if i didn't have her kind of backing me the whole time so, i'm thankful for that. >> jimmy: yeah, i think she knows what she's doing, too. >> she knows what she's doing. >> jimmy: can you stick around i want to talk about the new documentary that you have coming out >> let's do it >> jimmy: alright, more with shawn mendes when we come back, everybody! ♪ woman: i have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer ♪ yeah i feel free ♪ to bare my skin, yeah that's all me. ♪ ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand ♪ ♪ nothing on my skin that's my new plan. ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. woman: keep your skin clearer with skyrizi. with skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way ♪ ♪ and it's my moment so i just gotta say ♪ ♪ nothing is everything. skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or 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see this documentary, it's raw. you kind of go there there's a lot of stuff in this >> it's raw. it's definitely raw. and i think, like, for me, the more vulnerable i find myself, i feel like it's very helpful for other people to kind of feel in their story and their life and i feel like in the documentary, it's insanely vulnerable, insanely raw, insanely honest portrait of what it is to be me and what my life is about. and i to try to touch on a lot of things, and we tried our best not to edit anything out to make it feel like it was -- you know, we didn't want it to feel polished. it is this beautiful, honest story. and i think that in a time, like you said two seconds ago, like we need art we need beauty we need truth, and we need vulnerability. and you and i have the ability to make people feel something and make people's minds go elsewhere, and give them love and give them light. and i really hope that's what this music does. and i hope that the documentary does that in the same light. yeah, i mean - >> jimmy: in the documentary, you talk a lot about your parents, and teachers and friends, who all supported you, and supported your dream, when you go like, "hey, i think i want to be a musician, i want to be an artist. i want to make music." no one said, like, "eh, you're never going to make it don't do it. get a new dream. >> i mean, also you stood on stage, the first time i came and played on your show, and you stood up and applaud for me and i saw -- i mean, people aren't stupid. you can see when someone is truly meaning to love and truly meaning to give energy and support, and when they're just doing it because they feel like they have to and you stood there the very first time, regardless of whether the performance was great or not i can't remember but you gave me that support and that love. and it's funny, because in life, i find that i've been so lucky to run and to cross paths with people who have that look in their eye, and that real love and support and i think that's the difference between someone following their dreams and not, is at 15-years-old if your teacher tells you, "no, don't do that. you can't do that. it either drives you to do it or it drives you away from doing it so, for me to have all of these people in my life that were like, "you can do this, you've got this, man," it was life changing for me. and it continually is life changing for me. you know >> jimmy: here's interesting -- two photos i pulled. here's a 14-year-old doing cover songs in his bedroom you go from there to being this guy, a grammy-nominated artist that sells out arenas all over the world. if you're not inspired by that, i don't know >> and the ironic part about that is, i was probably more nervous to record that youtube video that day in my bedroom than i was to step on stage in front of 15,000 people and it's like the relative of how important each were to me, they were the exact same they meant the same to me. and i think i got the same amount of happiness like recording that video and bringing it down to show my parents and being like, "look, this is me this is what i did," than i did playing on the stage after the applause it's like, that is the beauty of art it doesn't measure scale it's just measured by how it makes you feel you know but yeah, i mean, thanks for saying that. >> jimmy: as a fan, it's fun to watch you evolve and grow, and just see how big it can get, and how more -- it's just awesome to watch i want to show everyone a clip from "in wonder. take a look at this. >> a lot of people are like, "what would you be doing if this didn't happen to you? i feel puzzled by that question, because i feel like this is what i was going to do i'm in the q and a yesterday, this girl goes, "how do i be a a songwriter like you? and i immediately thought about saying that to my dad. i said, "i want to be a songwriter," and he goes, "well, can you write songs?" and i was like, "well, i don't know." and he goes, "go write a song. and i sat in my room, and i played guitar for seven hours, and my hands would bleed and then i'd play again, and i'd get better, and i'd practice and i'm not saying everyone has to be so olympic athlete about it i said that to her i was like, "stop sitting here thinking about it. you are a songwriter now go write songs m♪ >> jimmy: shawn mendes, everyone "in wonder" comes to netflix on november 23rd. his new album, "wonder," is out december 4th stick around, we'll be right back with tig notaro come on back, everybody. thanks again, shawn. ♪ dear ms, when we first met, i thought you'd control every part of me. overwhelm me. define me. but i found a way to give myself more space. i met ocrevus, an infusion treatment that's two-times-a-year. for adults with relapsing or primary progressive forms of multiple sclerosis, ocrevus is proven effective in reducing relapses in rms and slowing disability progression in rms and ppms. don't take ocrevus if you've had a life-threatening allergic 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(dramatic crying) whoa! did sven-rod just die? yeah can you do it again? sure, sure i always loved you... oh man... missed it again . alexa, rewind 10 seconds. now roomba vacuums exactly where you need it. alexa, tell roomba to vacuum in front of the couch. and offers personalized cleaning suggestions for a clean unique to you and your home. roomba and the irobot home app. only from irobot. oh, just one. jake from state farm, it's the least i can do. you really did me a solid with that "maya markdown" on my insurance. here's the deal maya, state farm offers everyone surprisingly great rates. right. no really. there's no markdowns, just great rates. pull around back in 20 minutes. i'll hook you up with the good parts. when you want the real deal... like a good neighbor. state farm is there. get new charmin ultra strong. getting clean? when you want the real deal... it just cleans better, so your family can use less. hello clean bottom! enjoy the go with charmin. this was the theater i came to quite often. ♪ the support we've had over the last few months has been amazing. i have a soft spot for local places. it's not just a work environment. everyone here is family. gonna go ahead and support him, get my hair cut, leave a big tip. if we focus on our local communities, we can find a way to get through this together. thank you. ♪ if you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. get out and about and support our local community. we thought for sure that we were done. and this town said: not today. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is one of my favorite comedians ever. she hosts a weekly podcast called "don't ask tig," which is streaming everywhere now. "don't ask tig." we love it when she comes on the show here she is, tig notaro. tig, hey >> hi. >> jimmy: i've got to say, everyone knows you as a comedian they know you have your own podcast now. but you've also been doing a a lot more acting, which i'm psyched about this one, let's say "star trek: discovery. it's back. you just finished it >> yes >> jimmy: also a big, new action film. >> yes, "army of the dead. i am in this movie i don't know how i've gone to outer space and now zombie films. [ laughter ] and also, i think a year ago i was on your show and i was saying how i'd had spinal fusion, and you probably don't remember that. but i -- that's an intense surgery. >> jimmy: yeah >> and i take this movie and i have no idea because how would i know it's not like i've ever -- i'd never dreamed i would be in an action film. so i had no idea that i'd be having ammunition across my chest. like a big rectangular gas tank strapped to my back. a machine gun. >> jimmy: what >> a pistol on my thigh. but i'm not really doing anything >> jimmy: i can't wait to see this the director wanted you, right >> zack snyder, yeah he wanted me i don't know why but when i was in the movie, they were green screening me in because i was replacing another actor. >> jimmy: right. >> and i was the only actor on set in the filming and i started to think the first week that i was the star of the movie. because there was nobody else there. and it's a big ensemble that i'm in and my character's not the main part of the ensemble. >> jimmy: right. >> so it was a weird experience to be alone and start to think, "oh, i'm a big action star." and then i realized, jimmy, not only am i not the star, i realized that probably a lot of the scenes that i was filming was just me in the background, blurry because you know they not only have to replace me -- or replace the guy, the other actor, in close ups. they have to replace every moment that he was on screen so i laughed so hard the day i realized a lot of my stuff is just blurry, out of focus. >> jimmy: but we will see you though, right? >> you'll see me, but also when you see me off in the distance just know that i -- that was a a moment i probably thought i was front and center and the start of the movie and at the end of filming, i just want to show you. zack snyder presents -- because i shared with him my realization that i was not the star of the movie. >> jimmy: yeah >> that i was in the background and he presented me with an oscar with a green screen label that says "best out of focus actor. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not bad. not bad. your wife was a guest on your podcast a few weeks ago. the podcast is "don't ask tig. every episode, you and another person give advice to people who write in questions usually you're the one giving advice on the show but there was an episode that you're going to tell me - there's a question apparently where you needed help? what's going on? >> well, i have this -- and i wouldn't typically find this to be an issue. >> jimmy: yep. >> again, except there's a a pandemic going on. >> jimmy: yep. >> but we have -- we hung a swing, it's a bench swing hanging from a tree in our front yard we hung it there to, you know, swing our children and spend lazy afternoons there. >> jimmy: yeah >> i never imagined that there would be a woman, with a child, that would come by every single day, jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: oh, no, no, no, no, no >> and get her 2-year-old out of the stroller and go sit in our swing in our front yard. >> jimmy: no, no, no >> jimmy, every day. i'll look out my window and there's a woman -- and of course, any other time when there's not a pandemic, i would think that was an adorable sight. and now i'm like, you're on my swing. i don't know - >> jimmy: how close is the swing to the street? does it look like a park does it look like public property >> no, it is clearly someone's home people live there. and not only do you have to get into the yard, you walk onto the yard, you have to walk up a hill -- you have to walk up a hill the only -- i tried to get into her head space of going on someone's property and just casually swinging with my baby >> jimmy: absolutely >> daily daily. >> jimmy: absolutely not >> the only way that would happen is if i was completely drunk, would i wander on to somebody's property and just be like, yeah call the police. i don't care >> jimmy: i don't care i'm going to use your slide. let me go up and down your slide. >> show me your slide. what's the problem >> jimmy: this is insane >> what would you do >> jimmy: i have two options i would make it harder to get up the hill. maybe add obstacles, you know. and i think maybe i would just poke my head out and go, "excuse me, can i help you?" right? >> do you know what she would say? yeah, can you push me? that's what she would say. if i said, can i help you, she would say, yes, give me a push why hasn't someone come out here and pushed me i don't want to help this woman. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. tig, this is unbelievable. you have to let me know how you solve this problem i'm so sorry to hear about that >> i'll give you a ring-a-ding and let you know >> jimmy: i'm happy to hear about everything else going on in your life please, my best to your family stay safe and come back to the show any time. >> thank you >> jimmy: tig notaro new episodes of "don't ask tig" are released every wednesday we'll be right back with a a performance from shawn mendes stick around, everybody. ♪ need to find the closest official ballot drop box near you? just visit vote.ca.gov to find your nearest location. then drop off your ballot. your vote will be secure and counted. there are other ways to vote too. just return your vote-by-mail ballot at your voting location or mail it back. or you can vote safely in-person during early voting or on election day. vote the way you're most comfortable - but vote by 8pm on november 3rd. in california, we're the only state where wealthy trust fund heirs get their own tax loophole. these tax cheats avoid millions in taxes on vacation homes and coastal mansions depriving our schools. prop 19 closes this unfair loophole that's been exploited by an elite few and helps our schools, firefighters, and seniors. vote 'yes' on prop 19. tell them [record scratch] the party's over. >> jimmy: performing a medley of the songs, "intro" and "wonder" from his fourth studio album, "wonder," out december 4th, here is shawn mendes! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ you have a millio different face but they'l never understand ♪ ♪ unless yo let them i you've been a millio different places ♪ ♪ so give yoursel a chance t get lost in wonderland oh ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i wonde if i'm being real do i speak my truth or d i filter how i feel ♪ ♪ i wonde wouldn't it be nic to live inside a world tha isn't black and white ♪ ♪ i wonder what it' like to be my friend hope that they don't think i'll forget about them ♪ ♪ i wonde i wonder ♪ ♪ right before close my eye the only thing that's on my mind ♪ ♪ been dreaming that yo think it too i wonder what it's like to b loved by you yeah ♪ ♪ i wonder what it's like i wonder what it's lik to be loved by ♪ ♪ why am i so afrai of saying somethin wrong i never said i was a saint ♪ ♪ i wonde when i cry into my hands i'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man ♪ ♪ and i wonder if someday you'll be by my side and tell me that the world will end up alright ♪ ♪ i wonde i wonder ♪ ♪ right befor i close my eye the only thing that's on my mind ♪ ♪ been dreaming that you feel it too i wonder what it's like to be loved by you yeah ♪ ♪ i wonder what it's like i wonder what it's lik to be loved by ♪ ♪ ♪ i wonder what it's like to be loved by you yea i wonder what it's like yeah i wonder ♪ ♪ right befor i close my eye the only thing that's on my mind ♪ ♪ been dreaming tha you feel it to i wonder what it's lik to be loved by you ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: thank you all for watching stay safe out there. wash your hands. don't touch your face. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. goodnight everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪

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