[ cheers and applause announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers. Sarah silverman, author of swimming lessons, actress lili reinhart, music from phoebe bridgers featuring the 8g band with Jessica Burdeaux and now, Seth Meyers Seth welcome to late night, everybody. It is 12 35 in the morning and the only people awake are president ial debate fact checkers, so lets get to the news tonight was the first president ial debate. We tape early, so im not sure what happened, but i know even if we didnt, im sure id still feel that way. President trump and former Vice President biden faced off tonight in the first president ial debate. And the topics included coronavirus response, mailin ballots, hunter biden, taxes, hunter biden, climate change, the supreme court, and hunter biden according to a new poll, 41 of voters expected President Trump to win tonights debate. The other 59 think hell lose and claim the loss on his 2020 tax returns ahead of tonights first president ial debate, moderator and fox news anchor Chris Wallace said he will not fact check President Trump and former Vice President biden unless trump says something completely insane like, everything is going fine. Vice president mike pence hosted a Debate Watch Party tonight in pennsylvania, and there aint no part like a mike pence part cause a mike pence party dont start deejay, turn up that White Noise Machine [ imitates white noise ] the cd a lot of breath control on that one for me the cdc has released guidance on how to safely celebrate thanksgiving this year amid the coronavirus pandemic, including avoiding alcohol, which can impair judgment. Then again, if you had good judgment, you wouldnt have gone to thanksgiving dinner with your family in the first place, so. Authorities in queens broke up a wedding over the weekend that violated coronavirus social distancing guidelines by having over 280 guests. Also because they gave it a year, tops just not going to work in the longterm. Authorities in tallahassee broke up a party yesterday near Florida State university with more than 1,000 attendees. On the bright side, it could mark the first time that anyone at Florida State has learned a lesson by the way, even sadder than the people who had to leave, the one guy who wasnt invited they invited 1,000 people and ol craig doesnt get a call craigs 1,001 . Well starting to doubt my choices. And finally, President Trump announced over the weekend that he had selected conservative judge Amy Coney Barrett to fill Late Supreme CourtJustice Ruth Bader ginsburgs seat and now republicans are hoping to get her confirmed before the election, which means its time for a segment called getting to know Amy Coney Barrett. Seth she currently serves as a judge on the u. S. Circuit court of appeals for the seventh circuit. Shes a devout catholic and a mother of seven. Her nickname is acb, which is also how trump starts the alphabet shes excited to rule on white woman v. Family minding their own business her favorite tv show is the new adventures of old christian. She believes in a womans right to choose, and that woman is her. Considers original sin a preexisting condition at her coney island, hot dogs stay away from the buns until theyre married. Considers herself a strict originalist, and to this day refuses to acknowledge the 2014 remake of robocop. She wants to break the Glass Ceiling and replace it with an impenetrable steel one this year for halloween shes going as wade from roe v. Wade she believes it should be harder for immigrants to get green cards if they rely on public assistance or if she doesnt like their vibe. It takes her several hours to make breakfast because she insists on having funerals for the eggs and finally, she likes beer too, but shes not going to ugly cry about it this has been getting to know Amy Coney Barrett. And i hated the song as much as before but i didnt want to give my writers the joy of knowing that. We got a great show tonight. Our friend Sarah Silverman will be here. Ill also be talking to lili reinhart, who you know from riverdale. She just published a poetry collection plus, a performance from the fantastic phoebe bridgers. And this is very exciting. Well have an interview with an actual ancient mummy from egypt, sort of. Before we get to all that, i was on the website fivethirtyeight this morning when i saw this really interesting poll about the voting habits of migrating tree frogs and wait, im sorry, i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke, that can mean only one thing. Its time for ya burnt. Seth welcome to the burn zone we got a lot of topics to sizzle through and not a lot of time. Over here is the burner. Lets turn on the gas and load her up whoo dagnabbit, thats one hot wabbit first up, gender reveals hey, gender reveals, heres a reveal everybody hates you. Seriously, how hard is it to announce a babys sex without blowing something up i hope somebodys water breaks just so we can put out the fire you started. Oh, and gender reveals, the only thing youre actually revealing is that your babys parents are basic ass bitches. P. S. , cutting into a blue cake might mean youre having a boy but it definitely means youre about to take a very concerning looking dump gender reveals, surprise, ya burnt. Outdoor dining in new york nothing beats the ambiance of sipping warm wine in a welltrafficked bike lane while garcon, could you recommend a red that would pair nicely with the diesel fumes of an idling bus . In italy, al fresco means eating outdoors in new york, al fresco is the guy rocking is his jackhammer 10 feet away from your tortellini but outdoor dining, youre not all bad. At least i can take my mask off at the table because as we all know covid only spreads when youre walking back and forth to the bathroom sure, i could cook at home but its just more relaxing to have my food delivered by a waiter in a face mask, shield, and full hazmat suit. Outdoor dining, i got to send this plate back because ya burnt. Wildfires. Hey, wildfires, leave the forest alone. Were all going to need to live there once the civil war starts in november. But seriously, i should say congratulations, wildfires now that the kardashians are off the air, youre officially causing the most drama in all of california thanks for turning the sky orange i know it looks bad but this was the only way to find out jeff and susan were having a girl double burn gender reveals double burn seth wildfires, slow your roll, youre spreading faster than covid19 at a fraternity party. At this point, our best hope is that wildfires hit some weed farms and we at least get a decent buzz out of all this. Wildfires, we burnt mask breath. Now i know why everyone else wanted to socially distance from me even before covid i feel like im Walking Around with a bowl of hummus taped to my face. Im doing the world a favor wearing a mask and this is the thanks i get its like finding out that wearing condoms gives you athletes foot youre wearing em wrong. Seth to be fair, these days mask breath is the only thing reminding me to brush my teeth mask breath, take a whiff of this, ya burnt candidate emails hey, candidate emails, could you relax with the intense subject lines . Seth, i need you okay, chill. You want 20 bucks or have you been kidnapped by afghan rebels . And what about my needs . I need you to stop sending me an email every 10 minutes your desperation reeks more than my mask breath call back. Good writing. Seth and who gave buttigieg my email anyway . Im starting to think he doesnt really hate to bother me oh, and hey, spam folder, could you get off your ass, man . Passed along more junk than pawn stars. Candidate emails, i hate to bother you, but ya burnt birds. Hey, birds, let me get this straight youre blessed with the gift of flight and yet you choose to spend your days hanging out on the sidewalk at times square its nice to know that if i had the power of flight i wouldnt use it, id just sit on the ground waiting for someone to throw a french fry my way. Also, what have birds ever done to fight racism . Nothing. Tweeting about it isnt enough seth hey, birds, go suck an egg, ya burnt. Tiktok competitors instagram recently released a new feature called reels which looks real similar to tiktok really original, guys. Tiktok already came up with that idea years ago when they stole their idea from vine now, instagram is officially the school bully, just copying papers word for word, and changing the name on top if you really want to copy tiktok, do us all a favor and get banned in america. And hey, instead of trying to rip off tiktok, why dont you just come up with an original idea like creating a late night talk show with a mo everything we do is groundbreaking a savage but you, ya burnt Hand Sanitizer hey, Hand Sanitizer, thanks to you my skin is so dry i could host a show on npr, side burn npr. All things considered, ya burnt seth whats that, Hand Sanitizer, youre 70 alcohol . Join the club. Also, whats with killing 99. 9 of germs did you really get so lazy towards the end that you were like, [ bleep ] it, this is good enough. Youre worse than my spam folder Hand Sanitizer, go squirt yourself, ya burnt tweeting after death since hes passed away, herman cains twitter account has been very active and ive just got to say this. Once somebody dies, they gots to stop tweeting. For some reason weve given Rudy Giuliani a pass on this, but the rest of you, just please, go in peace. Dear newly departed, if i want your opinion ill grab a ouija board and ask you myself also, joey price at your sixth grade sleepover, yes, i was moving it. Sorry, i made it say your parents were getting divorced. Also, sorry your parents got divorced, but you didnt need a ouija board to see that coming you just had to be around them for a few seconds. Nobody can put away chardonnay like barbara price. Seth tweeting after death. Time to log off because ya burnt volunteer covid testers, listen up, you saintly ass mother [ buzzer ] oh, that buzzer means were out of time. Looks like ill have to burn you dogooders next time out this has been ya burnt be right back with more late night. Chicago okay, so, magnificent mile for me i thought i was managing. My moderate to severe Crohns Disease. Until i realized. Something was missing. Me. You okay, sis . My symptoms were keeping me. From really being there for my sisters. So i talked to my doctor and learned. Thats us. Humira is for people who still have. Symptoms of Crohns Disease after trying other medications. The majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief in as little as 4 weeks. And many achieved remission that can last. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma,. Have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems,. Serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb,. Hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Be there for you. And them. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. Leggo a big mac no pickles please. There you go. Medium fries. Con ketchup. And an oreo mcflurry. Of course ooof the j balvin meal. Get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Im lovin it get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Verizon knows how to build unlimited right. Start with americas most awarded network. Im on my phone 24 7. Then, for the first time ever, include disney , hulu, and espn . Were a big soccer family. Handmaids tale. I love frozen. Then give families plans to mix and match, so you only pay for what you need and offer it at a price built for everyone. Plus, get two Samsung Galaxy s20 fe 5g phones for 200 when you switch. The network more people rely on gives you more. Thats verizon. Not much, how about you . Are you answering my text in person . I am, yeah. Lol come on in. This is tech that helps you be there. The Nissan Altima now offering the most techadvanced engine in its class seth welcome back to late night, everybody. This is really interesting a few weeks back, 13 mysterious mummies were discovered in an egyptian well. And when our producer, mike shoemaker, who also worked at snl forever, saw that news story on twitter, he posted it, adding, these kinds of news stories always make me think, oh, if i was at snl, it would be great for samberg to come on update as a mummy who just got disturbed. and then our head writer, alex baze, who was also head writer for weekend update when i was there, and therefore immediately understood the kind of thing andy samberg might say as a recently disturbed mummy, responded to that tweet with, aw, man, my doink fell off. All that made me long for the time that could have happened, then i realized, i have a show i could text samberg were not talking about the debate until tomorrow night. So joining us now, from egypt, please welcome a recently disturbed mummy. Oh, hey [ laughter ] hey, seth. Seth, seth is that egyptian seth yeah, its not that far off. Hey, thanks so much for being here oh, yeah. Its really great to be here, seth seth are you okay . You seem seem like you might be in a really bad mood. Oh, oh, do i . Sorry. But you know, i just got woken up after 2,500 years of fullon snoozing i mean, i was in deep rem. Oh is that me oh, right, the hummus. Hey, word of warning, dont chow down a bunch of garlicky foods before they wrap your mouth closed for hundreds of years seth yeah, speaking of that, you seem pretty lightly wrapped for a mummy. Yeah. You know, i usually have more, but gotta conserve the tp because of the demic. Going to reroll it when were done with this seth so what was it what was it like to be woken up after 2,500 years . Okay, so like, you know that thing where you fall asleep on the couch in the afternoon, and then you wake up and its dark out, and youre like, ah, what the hell what day is it . Seth yeah, sure. Okay, so its kind of like that but with an archaeologist shining a flashlight in your face and screaming you cant hit snooze on that, seth seth yeah, it does sound rough. Now look, i dont know a lot about ancient egypt, but i do remember reading that sometimes pharaohs or other people of means would have the servants buried with them when they died. So i guess my question is, were you a pharaoh or a servant okay, well do you remember reading about pharaohs who clean up their own camel [ bleep ] because that was def my job. Seth okay, so it sounds like you were a servant uh, yeah, you think [ light laughter ] and it was literally my first day on the job, seth it was like, heres the break room heres your uniform. Oh, hey, bad news. The boss man just died, so now were going to pull your brain out through your nose and put you in a box. And im like, do i at least have time to brush my teeth . Because i just mowed down a fat tub of hummus and my mouth smells like a butt. But theyre like, nope, we got to do this now. Seth well, im im sorry. Sounds like you got a really raw deal well, its not so bad you know, at least i was buried in a pyramid a guy could do worse seth oh. Oh . Oh, what seth its just that the mummies werent found in a pyramid, they were found in a well well. Seth yeah, a well. No, no, i heard you you didnt let me finish seth oh. Oh, go ahead well that [ bleep ] sucks. [ laughter ] seth gotcha. Yeah, gotcha yeah. Now im really ticked off. And youve left me no choice but to rain down a mummys curse upon this land frog seth sorry, frog singular yeah. Its kind of a dinky plague, you know, just one frog. Got to conserve because of the demic seth so whats next for you . You know just doing a bunch of interviews. You know, got a larry king in an hour that will be fun because we used to play squash together. Hey, people still make jokes about how larry kings old, right, seth . Seth yeah, every now and then yeah, i see. So even the mummies think that yeah, thats cool seth hey, any final thoughts before you go . I have to go . [ laughter ] oh, man. I was going to stick around, check out phoebe bridgers. Seth youre welcome to watch on the feed. I like she wears a skeleton outfit, and that reminds me of a mummy. We were kind of simpatico, i thought i could play tambourine or some [ bleep ]. Seth yeah. Look, my last thoughts, since you asked, are only this and feel free to add dramatic music under this later the history exists to remind us that our actions have consequences, seth you know, if the discovery of my body, buried 2,500 years ago, can have one positive effect, let it be to remind everyone alive today that there will be those 2,500 years in the future who will live on the earth you leave. Oh seth what was that my doink fell off [ laughter ] seth andy . Oh, wait its andy. Andy samberg, everyone oh, i didnt realize what . Seth i only recognize you from this part of your head. This the circle around it so what youre saying is, this is the best character ever, and now youre going to have a bobblehead of this on your desk instead of that dog [ bleep ] stefan one [ laughter ] seth well be right back with Sarah Silverman smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today thats another one. I cant wait i. Just. Baby, i cant wait i cant wait hey, what are you doing . I cant wait i cant wait say it one more time baby, i i i cant wait hey mama, whats up . Im confused. Confused about what, everything ok . I only see one price on my phone bill. That doesnt sound confusing mama. Youre on tmobile, taxes and fees are included. Oh come on, its always extra fees not on tmobile mama. Why cant all my bills be like this . I dont know mama. Bye mama, love you. Anthony . Umph at tmobile,taxes and fees are included. Get 4 free 5g Samsung Galaxy s20 fes with 4 new lines. 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