Goodnight everybody. M announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers. Michael cohen, music from sheryl crow an all new closer look. Featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening, im seth meyers, and this is late night. How is everybody doing tonight lets get to the news. After the release of audiotapes of Bob Woodwards interviews with President Trump, trump called into fox news host Sean Hannitys show last night and said he wasnt sure if woodwards upcoming back about him was, quote, good or bad. Well, lets see, the book is titled rage. So yeah, you know, it could go either way in his new book on President Trump, bob woodward writes, quote, when his performance as president is taken in its entirety, i can only reach one conclusion trump is the wrong man for the job. Well, i guess well just have to take your word for it, said veterans, black americans, muslims, refugees, women, journalists, athletes, lgbtq people, civil servants, federal agents, world leaders, past president s, hundreds of former employees, two exwives, and a niece. President trump called into fox news host Sean Hannitys show last night and said he wont read woodwards new book because he doesnt have time to read it. Said the man on the phone talking to the tv show he was watching according to a new report, microsoft alerted former Vice President joe bidens campaign that Russian Hackers were likely involved in targeting his Campaign Officials in hopes of obtaining passwords and access to their network they even guessed joes password on the first try new york governor, andrew cuomo announced yesterday that new York City Restaurants can reopen for Indoor Dining at the end of the month at 25 capacity or, if you dont feel safe indoors yet, theres still plenty of tables in the left turn lane. [ laughter ] thats right new York City Restaurants can reopen for Indoor Dining at 25 capacity so for most new york restaurants that works out to one person the nfl held this Season Opener tonight, and its the only way the giants will ever complete an airborne transmission. A 16yearold from New Hampshire recently swam across the english got there and saw the ferry. Do you he didnt realize until she got there, there was a ferry wasted her time. Can you imagine the disappointment . [ laughter ] a lego designer in denmark recently created a grand piano with over 3,600 plastic pieces and then his mom put it all back in the closet. I thought you were done with them Buffalo Wild Wings announced that theyre coming out with three new sauce flavors. Theyre currently in phase three of human trials and the results look promising so far. And finally, police in florida responded to a report yesterday of an alligator in a storage shed that turned out to be an inflatable pool toy. Said the alligator [ panting oh, my god. I cant believe that worked. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue you guys, we have a great show for you tonight. Michael cohen will be here to talk about his book disloyal, a memoir the true story of the former personal attorney to president donald j. Trump. And well have music from ninetime grammy winner and music legend sheryl crow before we get to all that, this is our third show back in the studio and my third show surrounded by actual human beings, which is great, because it means i no longer need to talk to inanimate objects like i did when i was in my attic or the Captains Quarters hey, seth seth oh, no you got the prock doll from the animated series the awesomes that i voiced. You can talk, too . Yeah, i can and ive been in touch with the sea captain. Seth uhhuh. He wanted me to ask you a question seth is it a real question or, like a dumb seabased pun . What did the mythical sea creature say when he got to the party . Seth uhh, i dont know whats kraken [ laugh track awesomes, all three seasons available to stream on hulu. Seth i want everyone here to stop talking to the sea captain. Hes a Bad Influence and speaking of Bad Influences uhh, awesome segue, seth [ laughter ] seth thank you, microphone the president confessed on tape that he knew about the severity of the coronavirus pandemic and lied to the American People. And youll never guess how republicans are reacting theyre pretending they havent heard about it for more on this, its time for a closer look. Seth obviously, its hard to keep track of all the grotesque criminality and sociopathic incompetence of the Trump Administration on any given day. Its like trying to follow all the timelines on westworld. I thought that was the past . No, that was the future. And i thought that guy was human. No, hes a robot. He just got out of his milk bath. Just in the last 24 hours, weve learned that trumps department of Homeland Security censored intelligence on russian meddling in the 2020 election, downplayed the threat of white supremacist terrorism, and distorted evidence to match trumps lies about antifa, the Health Department tried to muzzle the governments top Infectious Disease expert and prevent him from warning the public about the dangers coronavirus poses to children and on top of all that, the president admitted on tape months ago that he knew the coronavirus was deadly and airborne, and confessed that he was lying when he downplayed the threat of a dangerous and highly Infectious Disease or as fox news put it good evening, everybody President Trump today had a great day. A day that any president could only dream of. Seth oh hey, look, everybody, its baghdad blob ive heard of brownnosing, but apparently dobbs was in there so deep, his hair turned brown. Normally, when an old man says Something Like that, you have to tell him, grandpa, harry truman is dead but hey, if im gonna believe anyone, its the guy who combs his hair like a fiveyearold at a wedding. Im a big boy, mommy. And you can trust me to hold the rings. These guys are all such creepy weirdos. Theyre like stepford pundits. Dobbs talks like a guy who just got through with six hours of electroshock therapy but even the fox news reality distortion machine couldnt hide the damning truth, because it was in the president s own words. Lets just remember, this is what trump was saying publicly as a deadly virus was spreading across the world and threatening americans lives its going to disappear one day. Its like a miracle. It will disappear. The virus, theyre working hard. Looks like by april, you know, in theory when it gets a little warmer, it miraculously goes away i hope thats true now the virus that were talking about having to do you know, a lot of people think that goes away in april with the heat as the heat comes in typically that will go away in april. China is very, you know, professionally run in the sense that they have everything under control. I really believe they are going to have it under control fairly soon you know, in april, supposedly, it dies with the hotter weather. And thats a Beautiful Day to look forward to. Were working very strongly with china on the coronavirus thats a new thing that a lot of people are talking about seth thats a new thing that a lot of people are talking about. And by the way, you dont look like the guy i go to to find out the new thing everyones talking about. You look like the guy i go to when im confused about the condo bylaws he talks about a deadly disease like its a new app. Its a new thing. A lot of people are talking about. Its called faceapp. i tried it, but it just gave me the ark of the covenant face. Also, among other things about that montage, he also said it would get hot in april so, i guess he really is a floridian now. It gets pretty hot in april, and i tell you, it makes you long for those christmastime swamp mists. Its like how when you call your grandparents in palm beach, and they complain that its freezing because its 68 degrees. Your grandfathers out chopping firewood, and im putting antifreeze in the golf cart. Also, why did you think the heat would cure it . Are you running a government or a sweat lodge . He sounds like one of those overtanned weirdos at the gym who thinks the sauna is a cureall for everything. Your back hurts well, just hit the sauna for a few hours all that heat helps soften your bones. And, uhh, towel is optional. [ light laughter ] now, the question with trump is always is he deluded or is he lying . Obviously, the answer is often both but in this particular case, it turns out trump wasnt just in denial he did know the truth about the coronavirus, and he lied about it he was aware that it was airborne, that it was deadly, and that it was worse than the flu. He could have easily informed the American People of the risks. Instead, he covered it up, as he confessed to Journalist Bob Woodward in the bombshell tapes. And so, what was president xi saying yesterday oh, we were talking mostly about the the virus and i think hes going to have it in good shape, but, you know, its a very tricky situation its indeed it is. It goes through air, bob. Thats always tougher than the touch. You know the touch you dont have to touch things, right . But the air, you just breathe the air. Thats how its passed and so thats a very tricky one. Thats a very delicate one its also more deadly than your you know, your even you strenuous flus seth i think one of the most shocking things about that tape is hearing trump talk even someone get flowers for algernon. Seriously, thats the same guy bleach and told everyone heat would make the virus go away on tape, he almost sounds like he knows what hes talking about. You know, bob, they conducted a doubleblind study, and it turns out aerosolized transmission is a much more significant vector than fomites, contributing to an increased case fatality ratio. Anyway, i gotta go, bob, doing a press Conference Announcing that battery acid cures hemorrhoids. Imagine if trump had said what you just heard on that tape in public at the start of the outbreak even if hed screwed up everything else, which he definitely would have, it still would have helped encourage more of his supporters to take the virus seriously. Instead, while he was privately confessing that he knew coronavirus was much deadlier than the flu, he was publicly telling people it was just like the flu, and suggesting it could even be cured by a flu shot. Thats a little bit like the flu. Its a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for and well essentially have a flu shot for this in a fairly quick manner a lot of people will have this and its very mild theyll get better very rapidly. They dont even see a doctor they dont even call a doctor. You never hear about those people so you cant put them down in the category, the overall population, in terms of this corona flu, or virus you take a solid flu vaccine you dont think that would have an impact or much of an impact on corona . No. Probably not. Probably not. Seth its such a bummer that trump is surrounded by yes men, because as evidenced by that clip, he immediately backs down on the rare occasions when he hears no maybe the flu vaccine would work . No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because its separate. Because its two separate things i was just testing you knew that as well. And if youre still wondering if this was an intentional strategy to hide the true danger of the situation from the American People, it was, because trump confessed to that, too i think bob b i wanted to i wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down yes, sir. Because i dont want to create a panic seth oh, you didnt want to create a panic well, congrats dude. You nailed it. For the last six months, i did my show from literally a panic room aside from a onceinacentury economic crash thats threatened the health and livelihoods of millions of people, not to mention lines at food banks and fights in supermarket aisles over toilet paper, everybody is super chill. Now, if youll excuse me, i have to go wash my face mask and microwave my mail. Seriously, i thought after four years of trump confessing to galling crimes, id lost my capacity to be shocked, but this one got me i was mostly shocked that he was dumb enough to confess something so cartoonishly evil to a reporter who was recording him its like if the unabomber had put a return address on all of his packages trump claimed he was just trying to be prudent by withholding the truth about the deadly disease, a talking point that has been parroted by his toadies on fox news did you mislead the public by saying that you downplayed the coronavirus and that you repeatedly did that in order to reduce panic did you mislead the public well, i think if you said, in order to reduce panic, perhaps thats so. The fact is, im a cheerleader for this country i love our country and i dont want people to be frightened i dont want to create panic, as you say. And certainly, im not going to drive this country or the world into a frenzy. President s job is to maintain order and, by the way, right the ship during and after a crisis not spread panic, not spreading fear among the population. He didnt want people to freak out, so he tried to keep people calm. Seth oh, yeah, totally trumps the picture of calm and poise. Hes spent the last four years claiming caravans of migrants were coming to kill everyone, and airplanes full of mysterious blackclad thugs were flying Cross Country to burn down cities hes the human embodiment of yelling fire in a crowded theater. Of course, nowadays, you can cause a panic by yelling crowded theatre he panics more than an uptight greenwich matriarch who finds out her daughter is dating a tattooed biker hes going to ruin our reputation at the country club. By the way, dibs on that screenplay i will have you know this urn holds my grandfathers ashes, and would appreciate if you stop calling it janky. okay. Pretty janky urn, though. [ laughter ] and can we please go back to this well, i think if you said in order to reduce panic, perhaps thats so. Seth oh, perhaps thats so im so [ beep ] sick of watching this guy try out every excuse until one sticks you just know trumps the kind of guy who takes one bite of every chocolate in the box excuse me, are any of these filled with gravy . Also, the choices arent lie or panic. Theres a third option where you tell people the truth and then do something about it, which would reassure everyone. But no, we elected the guy who puts a piece of duct tape over the check engine light a trump brand fire alarm wouldnt beep, it would just tell you that in april it rains a lot, and that should put out the fire even after the tapes came out, republicans did their usual routine of ducking into elevators, hiding behind potted plants, and claiming they havent read the book, even though the comments are on tape and on every tv and website everywhere and even when they were confronted on tv, like louisiana senator john kennedy, they shortcircuited. These gotcha books dont really interest me that much hes on the record. Hes on the record these gotcha books dont really interest me that much tomorrow but this is different he did 18 interviews with bob woodward mmhmm, right so you hes hes recorded you hear his voice and youre seeing that and youre contrasting that with what he says to the public wouldnt that be something of interest to you as a United States senator well, let me let me answer you again. These gotcha books dont really interest me. Seth uhoh, somebody take john kennedy to the shop theres smoke coming out of his ears were gonna need to open this bad boy up and check out the wiring and if youre too busy for gotcha books, you should try gotcha books on tape the president made you one also, im not going to take advice on reading from a guy who sounds like drunk huckleberry hound. He sounds like his home address definitely contains the word yonder. With that said, he might not have been the one repeating himself. It could have been the bullfrog stuck in his throat. Also, maybe you should be less concerned about gotcha books, and more concerned that your president is so easy to get. I mean, hes the dope who agreed to talk to bob woodward, of all people, whos, like, famous for gotcha on a president ial level. Why did trump think it wouldnt end like this . Are you sure you want to do these interviews, mr. President . Oh, yeah, woodwards safe hes already used his gotcha on nixon. In the trump era, were constantly bombarded with scandal, so everything feels ephemeral, but this this should stick you cant dismiss this as some esoteric d. C. Obsession or some insider gossip nearly 200,000 of our fellow americans have died. Millions more have suffered. The president and everyone around him knew that would happen they did nothing and they lied about it in a just world, in a functioning democracy, all of these people would be shamed and banished from power for good a beautiful date to look forward to seth this has been a closer look. Seth well be right back with more late night, everyone announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. This is my body of proof. Proof i can fight moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. Proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis. With humira. Proof of less joint pain. And clearer skin in psa. Humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Humira is proven to help stop further joint damage. 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