Something really cool called working it out. Lets get to the news. And this is you and a fellow while touring the southern border yesterday in arizona, comedian, more often than not, President Trump signed a plaque, commemorating the 200th mile of border wall. You know the borders like 2,000 someone you know fairly well miles long, right . Seems a little premature what does the plaque say, to be continued trump must be one of those guys basically doing what you would who takes the burrito out of the be doing in clubs with each other on social media. Microwave with 40 seconds to go. Yeah. The ice crystals are so its, like, ive been doing refreshing its the best part. It as a podcast called working thats right President Trump visited the u. S. It out. Mexico border yesterday for the and i want to pressure you to first time this year, but they got him back come on. Seth i do want to do it. I really want to do it we got a runner and so i work on new you can give him a head start. Were going to catch him. Material according to a new poll, the most popular choice among and its important for me to College Students to be former convince people like you to come Vice President bidens running mate is senator on because it actually is Elizabeth Warren what does she have that i dont collaborative. Like, i have had people like have, yelled on, amy klobuchar, john mulaney and Hannah Gadsby who did not expect so many and they give different types of feedback answers. Whoa, whoa, whoa, one at a time, one at a time. Because i want feedback. Leaders of the European Union i have no audience right now are reportedly considering a ban on american tourists when seth right and so, like, heres a bit borders reopen in july because that ive been working on, which is sort of my most existential of how the u. S. Is handling the coronavirus. And also, you know, all the other reasons. Pandemicish themed bit, which coronavirus might just be a cover in this case is that ive never been a President Trump met with the religious person, but im starting to think i should start president of poland today. So it was a lot of, yeah, my own religion. Uhhuh, no, i have heard that one, but yeah, no, keep going. And its called nobody knows. Amazon has reportedly signed a lease for a 1 million and if you venmo me 5, youre a squarefoot warehouse in member of nobody knows new york city so that two employees can go back to work seth gotcha. Safely and if you venmo me 500, an extremely rare star wars ill tell you the secret but, actually, i could tell you action figure has gone up for auction and is expected to sell the secret for more than 225,000 its nobody knows. Seth its nobody knows and if you venmo me 5 million apparently, its an intricately sculpted figure of a female seth okay. You will be flown in a private jet to a secret island, audience member. And you will be blindfolded and a dog in tennessee named august is believed to be the oldest walked to the edge of a volcano, living golden retriever at 20 years old. And i will whisper into your ear damn, that dog is so old, he thinks his owners never coming nobody knows. Home when shes still in the and but you must never speak room that dog is so old, the last of it. Bone he ate was one of his own seth sure. But one day, you can take that dogs so old, whenever he stands up, everyone in the someone else on that jet to that family feels sad all right, you know what, these same island and charge them arent working 5 million also, those jokes were submitted and, seth, what youre probably as being from both ian and mike, thinking right now is, mike, what youre describing is a because obviously they wanted me pyramid scheme, and id say, to know it was a twoman job sure, seth, but its also a they put their Heads Together in metaphor. That one, ian morgan and mike scollins. Seth thats wonderful. And finally, a new yorkbased [ laughter ] Bidet Company announced this week that it is offering to pay do you have any tips . Someone 10 thousand to study seth its good maybe i feel like you could their Bathroom Habits over the instead of a volcano, you could summer bring them to the edge of a so this would be your job by night, and then you could have a pyramid earlier on regular job bidet. Oh, thats nice seth right, like tip that you know, ian wrote that one too this is a pyramid scheme like, i wasnt hiding it, i without mike and i think if theres any promise. Takeaway here, ian, its that you dont need mike, buddy i brought you to a physical hes bringing you down pyramid. Thats right. Hes tricking you into writing i mean, thats the kind of stuff sad jokes about an old dog ive been writing lately like its so i mean, and you got to break free of mike obviously, were living in, you can do it ian. Like, upside down universe break free of him. Its you know, every you that was the monologue we got a great show for you tonight. Literally cant keep track of hes a very funny comedian and good friend of our show. Mike birbiglia is back what happens in a day newswise and you know her from girls seth yeah. And so i end up writing these trip and the hate u give. She is currently starring in black monday, which returns sort of like, i dont know, this sunday, regina hall will be here these sort of existential bits but first, a closer look. Seth well, it was seth hello everyone, and welcome back to the attic. Interesting because you reached if you have been following my out to me in doing it right when this started threemonthsplus journey up yep seth like, one or two. Here, you know weve had to work and i thought, oh, yeah, out some kinks great. I started taking notes there have been book shenanigans, an infestation of then when we started i didnt adorable wasps, my hair part realize how long this would take or whether wed do the show. Mysteriously switching sides, so we started doing the show but because you were coming on, and then on top of all that, i went back and looked at my some helpful eagleeyed viewers notes. And it is weird how what was caught a bit of an irregularity funny, what i was thinking about comedically seems very small and from our monday show, something that can only be described as an accidental cameo i assure you we are looking into very like, this and that and, this problem and we will have it fixed. Oh, now would not be a good time as i have repeatedly told my to work out these bits many famous friends, the door is do you know what i mean . Well, i mean, thats the thing about comedy is its always about finding the line. Not to be abused for walkons or and you want to get close to the plugs. Line, you dont want to cross and i certainly dont want to be the line responsible for anyone getting trapped in there, especially not but the line changes all the Time Academy Award nominee and when youre in a global ethan hawke. Pandemic, like even what the because, you know, that man show is about, which is like commits. If he gets trapped in there, approaching middle age and its going to be like 12 years thinking about death bec boyhood style. Entirely subjective. And speaking of things that feel like theyve gone on for 12 years, President Trump, yes, the segues are back, and his allies on fox news have settled than it did before the pandemic. On a strategy for getting reelected seth yeah. Economic oh, sorry, i read i also think there is a lot of that wrong comedians will approach a topic racism their strategy is racism for more on this, its time for a closer look. From the perspective of heres my complaint about, right . Seth every day brings fresh yes new evidence of the depravity and amoral criminality of the seth and right now i feel like any time you complain about Trump Administration anything, you have to preface it the details may differ, but in with, now, obviously, there are many ways, it feels like the same day over and over again bigger things going on its like were all bill murray of course seth look. In groundhog day, except no im sure youre going to figure one is learning the piano and we out how to do it were all going to figure out still hate ned ryerson how to do it get lost, ned but when you sit down and youre like, what do i want to do this is groundhog day if the standup about now . Its like oh, boy. Ceremony was waiting for the no. I think about that all time. Groundhog to make his way down like, theres Something Like as trivial that i was working out the ramp no matter what, it takes him six on the show about, like, i more weeks of winter to get from the top to the bottom. Travel for my job and i stay in congress could spend the next decade investigating trump and hotels, and ive never drank the still not get to everything. Hes a racist tax cheat who mini liquor bottles from the profits from his office, wants to slow down testing for a mini bar pandemic he ignored. But im triple digits on glass hes facing new accusations that he extorted multiple countries jars of peanut m ms, which i to interfere in our elections. And just today, we heard damning believe is the most sexiest, congressional testimony from a prosecutor in the roger stone most artisanal packaging for the least artisanal snack food item. Case alleging the Top Justice Department officials intervened seth yes to get favorable treatment for and my observation about the peanut m m is that if you suck stone because he was a political ally of the president. On it long enough, its just a at a house judiciary peanut Committee Hearing later today, a federal prosecutor plans to testify that and if you suck on that long enough, you can taste pure attorney general william barr shame. And at a certain point, the and his top deputies gave shame starts to morph into inappropriate orders on cases in pride. And youre thinking, i should an effort to cater to president i should eat a couple hundred trump. Roger stone was treated more of these. Differently because of politics. And then youre, like, i should run a marathon what i heard repeatedly was that then you dont and then you end up with type ii this leniency was happening diabetes because of stones relationship [ laughter ] to the president , that the seth see, youre finding a acting u. S. Attorney for the way into all this stuff. District of columbia was thats a trivial thats on receiving heavy pressure from the more trivial end of the joke the highest levels of the department of justice and that spectrum seth yes his instructions to us were but there is still a place for based on political that as well considerations hey, mike, i will do that podcast. And i was told that the acting i look forward to it u. S. Attorney was giving stone a yes seth its always great break because he was afraid of seeing you thank you so much for making the president of the united states. Timeok, seth of course theyre afraid of the president. The new one, everybody look at him. Well be right back with more looks like something from a legend they tell kids in a small irish village to make them do their homework finish your maths, liam, or the fire gollum will climb into the window and eat your hands. Cheetos has popcorn now . Hell eat your hands, liam. Looks like something that would pop out at you on an amazon hey, im going to need you to. Never mind. River cruise anaconman. Whoo, hoohoo that one deserves an attic highfive. Cant touch this. Attic highfive help you cant touch this. [ clap ] the president subverted the rule of law to get favorable you cant touch this. Treatment for a political ally and key gobetween in russias you cant touch this. Criminal conspiracy to help i trust you. Trump win the 2016 election. Stop, a guy who, setting aside all the evidence against him, looks like hammer time an obvious criminal. I mean, he just looks like a i touched it villain who would try to steal new cheetos popcorn. Its a cheetos thing. The tardis from doctor who if you didnt know he was an adviser to trump, youd think he was a times square weirdo clean. Tone. Spin pretending to be james spader sprint. Slam. Pan from the blacklist. Battle. Roll hey lady, do your kids want a drum. Joust. Scuba. Swim picture with red surf. Surf. Surf. Surf you know, red from the blacklist. boost. Bike. Balance. Board dance. Roll. Rock. And hey, since we mentioned kick. Flip. Dog. Dive james spader, i also want to mention that my summer goal continues to be growing my hair long enough to look like James Spaders character steff from pretty in pink. Im going to go out and buy the suit and everything. Of course, the only thing i cant buy is that spader confidence ah, one day. And the stone news comes just days after trumps doj ousted one of the most powerful prosecutors in the country, the u. S. Attorney for the Southern District new york. Thats the Office Currently overseeing several investigations of trump and his allies including trumps lawyer and sundowning gremlin Rudy Giuliani. Finish your science project too, liam, or the potato vampire will fly through your window and you know limu,g after all these years kick. Flip. Dog. Dive steal your pills its the ones that got away that haunt me the most. I dont know what he wants your pills for, liam. I just know hes coming. [ squawks ] if that paper mache volcano isnt done come morning, liam. cause youre not like everybody else. Thats why Liberty Mutual customizes your car insurance, trump is using the cover of a series of acute National Crises so you only pay for what you need. From institutional racism and what . Police brutality to the oh, i said. Pandemic, to the economic crash, uh, this is my floor. To dismantle the rule of law, nooo and protect himself and his cronies. Its like if nixon had managed only pay for what you need. To distract everyone from watergate by crashing his car liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Into a dairy queen there are days when it can feel difficult to fully capture the gravity of the situation were in but then there are other days when you realize there really are no words to convey just how seismically historically earth shatteringly stupid everything is right now like yesterday when the president spoke to an auditorium of socalled students for trump in a state, arizona, which is currently seeing a recordsetting spike in coronavirus cases. And he amped up the crowd with this super racist comment. Theres never been anything where they have so many names. [10th gen intel bong] i could give you 19 or 20 names for that, right . Its got all different names wuhan. I can tell that they used your milk, matilda. Great job wuhan was catching on. [moo] youre welcome. Coronavirus, right breyers Natural Vanilla is made with 100 grade a milk and cream and only sustainably farmed vanilla. Kung flu better starts with breyers. [ cheering ] kung flu cool . Seth you know, racists like to complain that the rules are drop the taco. Get in the car. Changing all the time and they dont know whats okay to say, does this sentra feel like a compromise to you . What isnt but that would have been racist wait, what. . In 1920. The handling is good, right . No compromise there. If clara bow had said that, nope watch this. Shed have been canceled bows got to go. Umm. Bbrie. Brie brie thats like something a racist fourth grader would spraypaint rear automatic braking. In the bathroom and get expelled so if this Nissan Sentra isnt gonna compromise, for. Unless that school required why should you . Twothirds of the senate to vote youre right to expel, in which case, Susan Collins would be telling atta girl. The allnew Nissan Sentra. Us, i think timmy has learned with more standard safety features his lesson in regards to than any other car in its class. Spraypainting [ hissing hes spraypainting behind me right now, isnt he . I dont know what to say anymore, man he just sucks so hard, just a thoroughly cretinously, irredeemable mr. Tomato head slinking back to the white house like he just got kicked out of a party at studio 54 for doing whippets in the bathroom he has to be the biggest douche on earth and i say ock is out there somewhere filling up a pair of flag pants with chili dog farts. Its especially disheartening to hear the audience losing their minds like gallagher just walked out with a watermelon. Now, the audience was supposed to be students for trump, and im just guessing, but the word students in students for trump probably has a pretty loose definition theyre probably students the way trump is, you know, married. But dont worry. Trump made sure to follow up his trademark racism with some breathtaking stupidity, too. Covid, covid19, covid. I say whats the 19, covid19, some people cant explain what the 19 give me covid19 i said, thats an odd name. What do you think it means . Covid19, of course, is when a freshman goes off to covid and they gain weight, sometimes as much as 19 pounds. The covid19, if you will. I mean, why do you think they call it the 2020 election . Do you think you need perfect eyesight to vote of course, as always when he says some people, he means himself. Thats his trademark way of admitting he doesnt know something. As soon as someone explains to him what the 19 stands for, you can be sure hell say Something Like, people dont know this, but the 19 stands for the year it was discovered. Thats something most people just found out very recently and not something they were told multiple times, but they forgot because they dont really listen to meetings. Now that hes overseen one of the most catastrophic periods in american history, from a pandemic he ignored to an economic crash he has no interest in stopping, this is all trump has left, doubling down on explicit racism. He and his allies on the right have very few tricks left in their reelection bag. Theyve apparently settled on a strategy of racist fear mongering about black lives matter protests, undermining the integrity of the election itself, and assuring you that the president s right arm is Strong Enough to hold a glass of water. Normally, when someones eager to show you they can hold a cup on their own, that cup has a minion on it at this moment, states like seth america is three months into the coronavirus pandemic. Arizona and texas are experiencing recordsetting and at this point, weve all covid spikes, and americans are been told to wa