Quote, interesting, by congress not wanting the special fiveminute testing apparatus theyre saying that they are not essential. Which is a little ironic coming from a 73yearold man tweeting in the middle of the workday thats right, trump criticized congress for declining his offer to provide coronavirus tests so lawmakers could return to capitol hill but in their defense, the tests he offered arent very accurate. Okay, now pick a color. Hillary clinton is reportedly appearing at a virtual fundraising dinner for former Vice President joe biden later this month and tickets cost up to 50,000 wow, imagine paying to sit through that zoom call hillary stuck on mute. Biden accidentally sharing his screen of a web search asking, what is zoom . Actually, you know what, yeah, i would id pay to see that cnn anchor Anderson Cooper revealed last week that he became a father to a baby boy and hes already so stressed out, his hair turned brown that was my favorite one tonight. Singer Justin Bieber and his wife Hailey Baldwin yesterday launched a new documentary series about their lives said americans, eh, all right. A large crowd gathered at an atlanta mall over the weekend for a chance to buy the new air jordan sneakers amid the coronavirus pandemic which proves that theres at least one thing Michael Jordan and his fans have in common. A gambling problem Carnival Cruise line said yesterday that despite the coronavirus pandemic, they plan to launch eight cruises in august the cruises will stop in puerto vallarta, cozumel, and then whatever country will take 3,000 sick people. This week is international clitoris awareness week. Its true. Just look at your calendar no, no, no, not there no, just a little to the left. No, no, no, your left. Yeah just forget it forget it, david. A page of lyrics to a beatles song, handwritten by paul mccartney, will go up for auction next month and its expected to sell for up to 300,000. It would go for more but unfortunately its all the nah nah nah nahs from hey jude. Nah nah nah nah. Oh, can we clear that . And finally, producers have announced that the actor nicolas cage will play tiger king star joe exotic in a new mini series and also in real life for the last 40 years. That was the monologue weve got a great show for you tonight. Hes absolutely one of my favorite guests, nathan lane from Penny Dreadful city of angels on showtime. He has thoughts on everything thats going on, and i always look forward to hearing from him. And well talk to the very funny Lauren Lapkus. Thats all tonight over the weekend, former president george w. Bush released a video message calling for unity amid the coronavirus pandemic, prompting some democrats and many in the media to reminisce about his presidency and praised his tone compared to that of donald trump, which brings us to a segment we call hey. Seth hey, democrats, that was a lovely video from what appears to be a very nice man. But george w. Bush is not your friend hes still the guy who used fabricated evidence to drag us into an intractable war. I know you think of him now as the guy who gives out free candy and does weird portraits of Vladimir Putin but those are red flags, too if you go home with a guy and he says, would you like to come up to my boudoir to eat twizzlers and look at my portraits of gaddafi, get out of there and hey, you can criticize one bad president without praising another bad president. Youve never seen a true crime documentary that says, the fact that Jeffrey Dahmer ate his victims leads many to ask, were we too hard on ted bundy . yes, things are bad now, but lets not forget, bush gave us the iraq war, torture, the financial collapse, the katrina disaster, and of course ponchogate. That was over three years ago. And they still havent gotten him out. Ill give him credit for one thing, though. Bush was covering his face long before it was cool and hey, democrats, the Trump Presidency didnt just come out of nowhere bush paved the way for him you know how we make fun of trump for generally being dumb and incurious and incompetent and in the pocket of big corporations and the wealthy that was bushs thing, too george w. Bush sucked at crawling so that donald trump could suck at walking. You remember how trump got stuck in a hallway and then stood there like a tiger caught on a nature cam and stared directly in the lens . Bush did that first. Look at these two, theyre the only two president s who managed to turn a press conference into an escape room clue master, help us out. We need help, clue master. Look at that, pingponging back and forth between cminus impressions of president s. If we cant remember when president s do bad things, then more president s are going to come along and do more bad things do you want to be back here in 8 or 12 years when the republicans elect mike pence or Jeanine Pirro or a racist potato with googly eyes saying, you know what, i miss the civility and grace of donald trump, at least he had the decency and compassion to acknowledge when something was truly sad. Hey, democrats, if you want to get out of this mess then you shouldnt be lowering the bar for what you praise. You should be raising it otherwise well just be trapped in this nightmare forever, much like george w. Bush is still trapped in that poncho this has been hey. Seth well be right back with more late night. When you need a vehicle you can count on, trust toyota to be here for you. Many Toyota Service centers are open to help keep your vehicle in top shape. And may even offer nocontact vehicle dropoff. 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Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Safe drivers do save 40 . New magnum ice cream. Double sea salt caramel. Carefully made to be broken. Magnum ice cream. Seth our first guest is a Tony Awardwinning actor who now stars in Penny Dreadful city of angels. The one, the only nathan lane is back with us hello, nathan. Hello, seth how are you . I hope you and your family are well and healthy and thank you for having me in your attic seth its wonderful to have you here [ laughter ] if i had a nickel for every time ive said that. [ laughter ] and thank you for having me for Cinco De Mayo. You know, you could have had anyone seth yeah. To discuss the mexican armys victory over the french in the battle of puebla, but you chose me [ laughter ] although im having trouble distinguishing the cincos from the mayos at this point. Seth oh, yeah. Well, its been a long quarantine but thats an important holiday to you, Cinco De Mayo . Oh, well, sure. [ laughter ] ive been master of ceremonies at that parade so many times yeah [ laughter ] yeah, i no, i have to tell you, this is a nice change of pace from my usual routine of staring into space and then weeping uncontrollably [ laughter ] my days in quarantine, theyve kind of become like the fast and furious movies. Seth umhmm. Each of them different, but really exactly the same. Seth right, right, right my husband is, i think, fed up living in isolation with me yesterday, he booked me on a cruise to wuhan. Seth oh, no. Wuhan seth wuhan yeah. See you at the wet market. [ laughter ] and theres a phrase i never want to hear again, wet market. Seth yeah. When you shop at the wet market, so, is the bat fresh yes, mrs. Moskowitz, flew in just this morning. [ laughter ] so, i joined a support group, celebrities in quarantine. And this morning i got to play words with friends with melania trump. Seth you did yes boy, she loves a puzzle. Seth yeah. It was fun until the end when she used up all her letters to spell get me the hell out of here, which i didnt realize was one word seth yeah. And then, i played prescription swap with dr. Phil and dr. Oz and those guys like to party [ laughter ] seth so, you go and just everybody just dumps out their pills and you get what you get, is that how it works thats right. And then we fedex stuff to each other, yeah. [ laughter ] thats oh, man but, you know, im in the hamptons seth yes quarantining in the hamptons. Its different out here. Seth umhmm. Because its brutal last week, i traded alec baldwin a lobster cracker for some sunscreen and the pool noodle. Seth right well, everything has a different value now. Well, i think so. [ laughter ] and have you noticed everyones baking sourdough bread seth i have. [ laughter ] do you like these transitions . Seth i love them sourdough bread seth sourdough bread very popular right now i cant bake sourdough because it was my nickname in high school. Its a painful memory. And not to mention that it takes weeks to bake sourdough bread. Seth yeah. But in the end you know its going to taste like absolute crap [ laughter ] seth thats what keeps you looking forward to it. Thats right. Seth thats what keep you putting in how do you you mentioned melania. How do you feel the president is handling the moment were living through right now . Oh, were doomed. [ laughter ] were doomed seth, theres no way around this now. Lets just get to the civil war. Its just its crazy. Hes lost his mind, probably from ingesting all the clorox over the years seth right, right. Yesterday he suggested we could zap the virus by sticking a fork in an electric socket [ laughter ] seth oh, i missed that one did you miss that one seth i must have missed that press yeah. Seth yeah. No. [ laughter ] so, im just trying to look for any positive news i can find like for example kim jongun is in perfect health. Wasnt that a relief seth thank goodness. And how did kim jongun go missing . I mean, you could spot this guy from space [ laughter ] just follow the pork rind trail from the palace. [ laughter ] you know what im saying seth i do. You i will say, heres some good news. Yeah. Seth and ive been saying this to sort of everybody who has been lucky enough to be promoting a show that they filmed and finished before this started. I feel very lucky and especially because, you know, broadway is now sadly shut down seth yeah. And nobody knows. Thats the scary part, nobody knows whats going to happen and obviously its going to take longer than we would like, although well know when to reopen broadway when we see white smoke coming out of scott rudins chimney. [ laughter ] thats just for you and me [ laughter ] somewhere in the midwest someones saying, umbridge, whos scott rudin . [ laughter ] seth its a complete flat line of audience reaction in the midwest right now. But the good news is, i dont know if you heard, but any movie premiering on demand, which didnt play in theaters will be eligible for the Academy Award which means were one step closer to hearing and the oscar goes to pete davidson. [ laughter ] king of staten island. Wouldnt that i would pay good money to see that acceptance speech seth i would yes, exactly. I feel as though he would make the most of it you have you youve obviously the last time you were on the show, you were promoting a broadway appearance by yourself in the wonderful angels in america. Have you with your long broadway career, have you had other stoppages like this . Do you remember anything like this no, i would say this is unprecedented. I think there was, maybe there was a musicians strike. But i wasnt doing any musical at the time. But no, i cant remember anything like this, other than 9 11, when we stopped for really about four or five days, and then giuliani, when we liked him. Seth yeah, we did. Said, its time to go back to work and let everybody know its all right to come back to new york, which was very seth that was, you know, i keep saying that was such an exciting time to be in new yorker because there was reason not to be afraid. And it was, you know, it was inspiring to see broadway shows again and see people out and that, you know, its a whole different timeline when youre dealing with Something Like a virus. You were scheduled to be onstage next year in death of salesman. Do you what is your level of optimism that that will go forward . Well, yeah, you know, i think it will go forward eventually. But someone, some pulitzer prizewinning journalist who predicted this pandemic was saying it will be three years before we have it behind us. Now, you know, if we had some leadership and we were on top of this thing the way we should have been, it might be coming to an end sooner. But i just think were going to have to be patient and look out for ourselves and each other and i think everything is up in the air until then and obviously i think people will attempt to maybe in terms of film production, figure out a way to start filming again but in terms of gathering a large group of people like in a theater, whether its sports or opera or ballet or the theater its no matter how much you want to see beetlejuice, you dont want to risk your life so, i think people are gonna be hesitant for a while until theyre confident that theres obviously, you know, i dont need to repeat, there should be massive testing and obviously a vaccine would be nice but, i think thats a long way off no matter what seth and it will be interesting how, you know, this will everything thats happening in this moment right now will be timestamped by the fact that it has this certain production value that were presenting to people right now, and youll always remember, oh, that was, you know, during the coronavirus pandemic and one thing will be this very wonderful tribute to Stephen Sondheim for his 90th birthday, which you participated in. Yes seth and you know, i think anyone who is a fan of stephen will always go back and watch this and of course youll be able to tell right away, oh, that was you know, they had to do that because of covid19 was that a did you enjoy doing that for stephen yes you know, we go way back, mr sondheim and i and it was you know, i must have videoed, done like 14 different versions. The very sincere version where i tried to remember all the times we worked together, and then that felt indulgent. And then, you know, how do you express it and you know, he loves when im irreverent and so, look, i might have done that joke at his 70th. [ laughter ] but the notion that, you know, because really, he gets a musical tribute pretty much on a monthly basis. [ laughter ] so, i thought, thats the way. I was just sort of talking to the camera and then i was like, oh, this is what it is, its like, finally, someone is paying tribute to this man. [ laughter ] who has been ignored all these years. [ laughter ] so, he wrote me, he was very sweet. He said he was very, very touched by it and enjoyed it yeah, no and, you know, even though they had a sort of kerfuffle in the beginning, it turned out to be a beautiful tribute and evening. Seth it will be great. And it will be a great time capsule of people sort of finding things to be joyful about during this time well be right back with nathan lane. And im going to ask him about Penny Dreadful city of angels. Well be right back. And weve upgraded her with a sonic shield. Impressive. There is one more thing. Ah. Jake from state farm. Heres the dealwith the drive safe and save app youll also get rewarded for being a safe driver. Like a Good Neighbor state farm is there. And we believe great taste starts with great ingredients. Like 100 cage free eggs. Because at best foods, were on the side of food. Lets be honest. Itting smoking is hard. Like, quitting every monday hard. Quitting feels so big. 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By using promo code 5off20 at jimmyjohns. Com or on our app. Whether you order a couple sandwiches, drinks and chips or a dozen cookies is up to you. Seth all right were back with nathan lane. So you play a detective, a 1930s detective in Penny Dreadful city of angels. Yes seth last time you were with us, you were talking about how you played roy cohn. So an upgrade, i think, as far as the character or person youre playing yeah, definitely. Well, anything is an upgrade from roy cohn. The most vile human being who ever lived yes, this is a grizzled veteran of the lapd. Your sort of classic hard boiled detective, lewis michener. And certainly the most complicated character ive ever gotten to play on film, thanks to the brilliant john logan who wrote and created the show and i get to beat up a lot of people seth yeah. Which i didnt realize would be so much fun [ laughter ] i never expected at my advanced age to b