Its out on demand on friday Michael Shannon is here. The very fun, the very odd Michael Shannon. Hes great tonight oh, my gosh. Also my friend j. J. Watt is on the show as well and im going to play know your bro with his brothers. Some family trivia about his brothers who are all playing in the nfl. Pretty good family huh . Thats pretty awesome. And then to close it out, one of my super favorites, remember she almost hopped our fence once rita ora is on the show tonight. [ laughter ] so cool jimmy yeah so ill be talking well, i wont be talking to rita shell be performing a new song off her upcoming album i should say Michael Shannons charity is earthday. Org. This says, feeding america is j. J. Watt. And covid19responsefund. Org is rita ora lets try to make you laugh, and lets have a good show. Its time for the monologue. Jimmy all right. Welcome to the tonight show. Im jimmy fallon well guys, earlier today former president obama endorsed joe biden for president. Obama said he knew biden was the right candidate once he was absolutely sure michelle wasnt running. You can tell the endorsement meant a lot to biden right after, he was like, i know you guys really love me, because i only had to ask every day for two years. I like how obama endorsed biden now. Thats like waiting until theres one second left in the super bowl and then saying, okay, im rooting for the chiefs okay just for the record. This isnt good. Healthy choice recalled over 130 thousand pounds of frozen chicken meals after customers found small rocks mixed in americans were like, we make one healthy choice in five weeks, and this is what happens . Were eating rocks . Let me tell you guys something, with this toilet paper shortage, this is not a good time to have rocks in your System People who ate healthy choice meals filled with rocks knew something was up when their toilet looked like a fish tank [ light laughter ] burger king just introduced a new sandwich called the roasted garlic king, which is a burger with a thick garlic sauce. Yeah burger king said, if this doesnt keep people six feet away, nothing will. During quarantine, Many Americans are watching old hit tv series like the wire and breaking bad. Mostly to finally shut up that annoying friend who was always like, youve never seen the wire . Oh, bro. Youve never seen the wire aw, bro. the wire youve never seen it not the third episode . Or the second one . Or the first one the wire . i read that many bridestobe are now having virtual bachelorette parties it starts with some lemon drop shots and ends with virtually everyone crying in the bathroom thats right bridestobe are having virtual bachelorette parties its a lot of fun right up until your friend debby says something vaguely racist to the virtual limo driver. And finally, heres an update on a story weve been following since it broke a 93yearold pennsylvania woman who went viral with her sign that said, i need more beer received 150 beers from coors light. After getting the coors light, the woman held up a new sign that said, i said i need beer, not water. [ laughter and applause it was a nice moment until an hour later when she held up a sign that said, out of beer again. Hey, you got a problem there, pal. Thats our monologue right there. Guys, we had a lot of fun with askthefallons where you guys are sending questions that youd like me to ask my wife or my kids. And so tonight im going to ask a question from you guys to my wife whos very who is also operating my camera and really producing my whole show. I love you and she also turns the tables and asks me a question in this part of ask the fallons. Enjoy. Jimmy here we go this is ask the fallons. Askthefallons i said it like im angry [ laughter ] i think you might be. Jimmy im not angry. cause guess whos turn it is to be interviewed jimmy no all right. This one is from jusouzdiaz jimmy, how did you propose to nancy . We told this story, i believe. Well, we definitely have but i had the ring ready to go weirdly, i had the ring from neil lane. Oh, sorry. Youre not even on the camera. Neil lane who is now bachelor famous i got the ring i remember i called your dad for permission i asked him. He said, yes. Sweet jimmy and i asked your brother as well. Aw, jim jimmy yeah or told him mabye. Informed him that i talked to your dad why would i ask your brother i dont know. Sweet though jimmy yeah, i might have but your brother was a cool dude, too. And then what happened was you messed everything up for me. Yes jimmy you get to the door, and you go, i have a surprise for you. And i go, i hope it doesnt mess up my surprise which was the big thing. I got the ring, i got the so, you go, i got us reservations at per se. This amazing restaurant in new york i go, oh, my gosh. I was dying to go to per se. And i go, oh my gosh, this is a big deal i really do have to go to per se. But i didnt want to get engaged at the restaurant. I never wanted i was going to get engaged in, like, Gramercy Park or something that will just always be around something classic. I dont want to go to a restaurant because what if in 30 years the restaurant changes hands . Now its a laser tag place now its like, kids, this is where your mom and i got engaged at the laser tag house. If they do have laser tag in the future anyway, so i go, ill do it after dinner. I didnt mention it to you so, we went to dinner. It was an amazing dinner right . Yeah. Jimmy cut to it was a long, long dinner. Jimmy cut to im not kidding, 14 courses later. It was wild jimmy and then we got home and your brother texted or called and said, like, did you do it, man whats up . I go, no, man, our dinner was like four hours or something. He goes, you got to do it just go to mollys or something. And do it. God yes. Which we love mollys. Jimmy yeah i so was like, oh, all right, maybe ill go to mollys. Hold on, i was in the bathroom i go, honey, you want to go out and have one more drink . You go, really, are you serious . I will. Youre like, im ready to, like, watch tv and, like, go to bed. Yeah. Jimmy so, thats what we did. And then it wasnt for, like it was probably three months later . Six months later it was i think longer than your parents and my parents wanted but, of course, yeah i wasnt thinking i dont know jimmy it was probably yeah, it was probably no, you didnt know. So, it was proabably i just knew we were going to be together. It wasnt like we got to get married or not get married jimmy anyway, like, i want to say four months later i was just trying to find the right place to do it i know, i know, i know but im very, like, particular i got to make sure its the right spot this is going to feed into my question. Jimmy ooh. [ light laughter ] so we get to your family has a summer home in New Hampshire in wolfeboro, New Hampshire, which we love. Lake winnipesaukee and i go to the dock with you, sunset mmhmm. Jimmy i go, honey, do you want to have a cocktail . Maybe sunset . So, we get out i played harry nelson. Mmhmm. Jimmy and i said, okay, in my head, dont cry, let her cry first if someone will cry. [ light laughter ] because well, because i hyped it up in my head. I get very emotional im irish. Very emotional person. I love it jimmy so as soon as i even remotely pulled the ring out of my pocket [ laughter ] i started crying yes jimmy and i get down on one knee and im, like, shaking im like, wah, wah, wah. And my voice is, like, quivering. Looks like im having a heart attack and nancys like, are you okay, dude are you going to be all right . And then i just said, hey, will you marry me . And you said, yes. And then the whole family started sharing from inside the house. Jimmy oh, they were all watching us. Yeah, and somewhere my brother has this on tape but he says he wouldnt give it to us for, like, 20 years. So, were jimmy oh, for real 15 years into that were going to get it in, like, a few yeah, like, five or seven years now. Jimmy ah, i didnt know he taped it yeah. Jimmy all right, lets switch positions and then you ask question. Okay. Here we go jimmy okay all right. Here we go now this is youre going to ask me a question . Well, i was going to do interview questions. So, i just came up with a few. But my first one was going to be this easy one jimmy mmhmm and its easy for a virgo, especially i was going to ask you what only three of your greatest pet peeves are only three [ laughter ] thats more the challenges than answering this question. Jimmy i dont even know if i have a pet peeves. Oh, really . [ laughter ] jimmy what oh, my gosh jimmy well, i dont like soft cheese. Nope. Jimmy so, if someone and almost anyone even eating soft cheese is sort of repellent to you slightly. Jimmy no, no, no im totally fine with everyone doing what they want glopping the stuff on the thing, and glopping it in their mouth. Glopping and glopping yeah [ light laughter ] thats just no judgment, though, at all [ light laughter ] okay next jimmy all right. Thats one thats not bad thats kind of understandable. Uhhuh. Jimmy i think. All right jimmy i cant think of any other pet peeves right now you have so many. But, i will just let that one ride so who has been someone incredibly influential in your life jimmy so many people but i dont know lee, lorne mmhmm. Jimmy i like those guys. I dont know i call them. I mean, Lorne Michaels has kind of seen hes seen it all. But hes seen me through the beginning of my career through now. Youve worked with him since you were jimmy 23 is when i got saturday night live. 45 now so, 22 years of working together Lorne Michaels. Jimmy hes got great advice about everything he has great anecdotal advice, too. Jimmy yeah even, like, anything if im renting a car, i would call lorne yeah. Jimmy like, hey, i dont know what to do. Im renting a car. Hes like, oh, you want something quiet and not too flashy get a lexus. Get black. Jimmy black. Yeah [ light laughter ] but then and then he gets it, hes getting a new car and he goes, which one do you think i should get the silver or the b i go, really, james bond you want to drive around in a silver car so, everyone knows where you are . He is kind of james bondy. Jimmy and hes like, i know, i know. Its his own advice. Yeah. Jimmy but theres been so many people. Yeah. Jimmy lornes been great my grandparents were really great to me. My grandma and my grandpa. That was like i used to go over there after school every single day and i just really hung out with them they really helped raise me. And by over there you mean . Jimmy they lived in my backyard [ light laughter ] mmhmm. A cute little house behind your cute little house up in saugerties jimmy in saugerties, new york they lived in our yeah. Mmhmm. Jimmy it wasnt even like a different address. No, no. Jimmy was it weird no, i love it jimmy my grandparents lived in our backyard. In a house a cottage. Yeah. Jimmy so, they used to baby sit me and i used to hang out with them after school and stuff. Yep you used to cook with your grandma. Jimmy i used to cook with my grandma all the time, and hang out, read cookbooks go driving with your grandpa. Jimmy i would go driving with them. And they would you know, they would drink and drive oh, well, those were probably the days. Jimmy different times. Different times jimmy but they never told me but they would have, like, a a thermos. And then remember once [ light laughter ] you thought it was you tried to try it. Jimmy i tried to try it. I go [ laughter ] its a dead giveaway. Parents. Jimmy yeah, i go, let me have a sip of it they go, no, no, no its ust orange juice. You wont like it. Jimmy i go, why are you guys drinking orange juice its the afternoon its like 4 00 in the afternoon. Ah, were just going for a a drive, right just they wouldnt give me a sip. I was like, ah, you guys take a little nip of screwdriver yep jimmy with a grandkid in the car. [ laughter ] probably no seatbelts. Teaching you how to drive [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Thats enough for asking me questions. Now back to the show that Everyone Wants to watch. [ laughter ] more tonight show athome edition. Well be right back, everybody jimmy hope you liked it. My wife corrected me and told me that i did not ask her a question i asked myself the first question so thank you, honey, right again. [ light laughter ] quarantine guys, stay safe. Well be right back with more tonight show. Really change . Way more than you think. Check out this game. Yes. Galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends what if i want to show my friend this little guy . Calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. Wait a minute, are you bored . Obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. With galaxy 5g yelling its like being there. Without being there. 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[ cheers and applause demand heres Michael Shannon jimmy Michael Shannon, nice nice to see you, bud thanks. Thanks for having me good to see you too. Jimmy oh, man. Hey, can you pan the camera down a little bit . Are you wearing an alvin and the chipmunks are you wearing our onesie yeah, no, this is my alvin this is my alvin onesie, yes. Is that bamboo behind you . Like an indoor bamboo garden what is that jimmy its a it does look like that right . Its a pan flute the pan flute jimmy my wife my wife zamfir dated for a couple years. Oh, my god. Jimmy the master are you jealous . Jimmy the master you know, at this point, i got to grow up a little bit, you know, and just kind of figure my own i i lucked out. I married to her we have kids and stuff so i think i kind of won the zamfir fight you know yeah. Yeah jimmy its kind of fun, zooming with you its interesting its like were were becoming what i predicted, best friends. I know. Well, inching toward my initial gambit which was that we both put on our alvin and the chipmunks onesies and have a a sleepover. So we both gotten the onesies on and now were in each others homes. Now the next step is for us to get in the same home and have a sleepover. Jimmy thats the next move yeah. Jimmy thats a thats a a primetime special. Hey, did i tell you i saw knives out . You did jimmy yeah you were great thank you jimmy you were really, really great you could be in the sequel. I think theyre going to make a sequel i think hes the only one thats going to carry over to the next one i think it has i dont think our family carries over. I think they would of course, theyre never i dont know if theyre ever going to make movies again but if they do, it would be him and that accent and a whole new cast of characters jimmy you might be over there though there you go jimmy over here as well. You could play his father jimmy son . No. With a lot of makeup, with a a lot of prosthetics you could be jimmy oh, you want to keep a younger version of him, like a child version of him down in the bayou. And youd be out wrestling gators or something. And youd say, now, son you know do that accent jimmy yeah, its a who its a whodunit. So what you do what you want to do is you want to generate more questions as the movie goes on. Right . Right right. Like, who made this movie . [ laughter ] jimmy how do they why did they cast jimmy fallon as the cajun. What were they thinking . Jimmy hey, i heard theres a that you found a drum machine and im really excited to hear it do you have it you or no heres the piece de resistance jimmy whoa can you give me a taste . Yeah, im going to give you my favorite. This is my big drum solo ive been working on for the last four weeks so you ready jimmy oh, yeah [ animal sounds what do you think jimmy oh, my gosh. That is un thats amazing a bunch of animal sounds no, man jimmy sounds realistic here, let me give you another one. Yeah, thats lets see. Its a i dont know what that is. A boar jimmy try it again yeah, its an angry these are these are sound effects from the new it might be a gator. It might be a gator. Jimmy oh, you think a a gator going to eat a doughnut hole . Yeah. Jimmy its a then theres a [ animal sound ] thats like a toad [ animal sound ] jimmy its like jungle its like jungle sounds. I like this. Then this is a frog [ frog sounds jimmy thats nice. Yup [ cow moo thats obviously a cow jimmy duck [ cow moo then heres the get out get out. Get out. Get out. Yo, yo, yo you want to you want to do a rap and ill play along you . You can freestyle, right jimmy no, but sure maybe like a freestyle cajun rap . Jimmy yeah, all right. I can do it. Ready jimmy yeah yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo yo, yo, yo i was there then i went over there and no one understood i was comin with the beard and i saw Michael Shannon and i didnt know if i was steve banno who was another superhero but of course he didnt know because the case is not closed the case the case the case is not closed oh, my god. Jimmy geez, that is fantastic. Hey, im happy that your movie the quarry is now its coming out and on demand is hotter than ever right now this is what everyone is looking to do cause you cant go to a movie theater. And if you enjoy the the acting skills of Michael Shannon, you can go see the quarry and download it, rent it this friday. Thanks, jimmy yeah its a great story about, you know kind of people taking responsibility for their actions and has a little bit to do with hypocrisy and maybe, you know, pretending to do things that you dont really understand so, yeah, its kind of its kind of timely but it happens in this little town its a little border town. And i play the chief police guy in the town. Am i looking at you . I can never figure out if im looking at people. Where are you . Whats jimmy ive never see game jimmy ive never even see you hold a any technology this is yeah, this is not my my realm. Jimmy i love it. But so im the police chief there. And then this strange fellow shows up and says hes the new preacher at the church yeah jimmy yeah im not buying it. What . Youre frozen. Jimmy im not buying it. Am i frozen . Damn it you still youre not buying what that im looking at you . Jimmy no, i dont believe hes the preacher. t think hes preacher jimmy no well, i dont know. Ive seen a lot