Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Martin Lawrence, Matthew Lopez and kyle soller, musical guest karol g. And featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1185 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my goodness, hello. Hi welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it. Thank you very much. Happy friday happy friday well, you guys, the nfl playoffs are in full swing and there are so many big matchups this weekend you have the vikings versus the 49ers. You have seahawks versus packers. And you have prince harry versus the royal family. And [ cheers and applause but listen to this, i heard that the Green Bay Packers are asking for 700 volunteers to come to the stadium and shovel snow [ light laughter ] that story again, 700 people who live off of brats and cheese are volunteering for a heart attack [ laughter ] its not just the nfl in action on monday. Its the Big College Football championship between lsu and clemson. Yeah [ cheers and applause a lot of people are excited for the game, but im most excited to hear from lsus coach, ed orgeron can we see can we listen to what he sounds like . So tiger nation believes youve put together a team of destiny. This group seems special to you. What did you just say to them . You know, just go out and play an lsu standard performance. Lets go play our game itll be a tremendous opportunity for our Football Team this is a great team it will be a great challenge [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy whats in his gatorade bottle, moonshine and razor blades [ laughter ] it sounds like he ate shaq and yosemite sam [ laughter ] lets get to some news [ laughter ] last night, President Trump held another rally in ohio, and said that nancy pelosi is not operating with a full deck then he added, unlike me, whos operating with all 42 cards [ laughter ] and a draw four. [ laughter ] today trump tweeted that nancy pelosi will go down as the least successful speaker in history. Yep, the least successful speaker. And thats coming from this guy. You need to vote for scott walker and leah vyukbarr [ laughter ] jimmy vyukbaarr. Baaarr [ laughter ] some 2020 news i saw that Bernie Sanders appeared this morning on the today show. And it was bernies first appearance on the today show without being on a jar of smuckers. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy and this is sweet. Today a middle school boy asked Elizabeth Warren to prom he immediately regretted it after seeing this. [ laughter ] jimmy i saw that to commemorate the 2020 election, one company has made a chess set where the pieces are different political figures. Its pretty weird actually take a look at the commercial for it democrats stand face to face against republicans. President donald j. Trump with mike pence by his side House SpeakerNancy Pelosi Senate majority leader mitch mcconnell. Senate minority leader chuck schumer. And House Minority leader Kevin Mccarthy knights riding symbolic donkeys and elephants. [ laughter ] jimmy when mike pence saw that he was the queen, he nearly had a panic attack. [ laughter ] some tv news tonight was the debut of a new drama here on nbc called lincoln rhyme hunt for the bone collector. When people said the name was kinda long, nbc was like oh, our bad. Its actually chicago lincoln rhyme hunt for the bone collector. [ laughter ] well, the jeopardy tournament of champions is still going on, and the contestants are also having a little fun online after the game yesterday, James Holzhauer tweeted my wife is going to make me role play as ken jennings tonight. [ laughter ] and alex trebek was like what is way too much information . [ laughter ] even worse, ken jennings responded and this is real. He said, its all about timing on the button. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy i think after the tournament, these guys are going to write the next fifty shades of grey. [ laughter ] some music news, i saw that selena gomez just released an album called rare. Oddly enough, it includes a collaboration with common. [ laughter ] this is going viral. Actor Timothee Chalamet just debuted a new mustache, and the internet is going crazy over it if you havent seen it, take a a look i kind of like it. [ laughter ] i like it. Steve yeah jimmy but that mustache has really changed his whole vibe. And apparently hes even talking a little differently here, ill show you what i mean for example, old Timothee Chalamet would say, nice to meet you. While mustache Timothee Chalamet says, i am overwhelmed by the pleasure of meeting your acquaintance. [ laughter ] [ whip cracks heres another example old Timothee Chalamet would say how are you . While mustache Timothee Chalamet says, looking into your eyes, i sense only one emotion desire. [ laughter ] [ whip cracks and finally, old Timothee Chalamet would say, want to dance . While mustache Timothee Chalamet says, let us put roses in our mouths, pull each other close and become shawn and camilla. [ laughter ] i love it whe you call me senorita [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, this going to be fun. I saw this summer, the worlds first Harry Potter Flagship store is coming to new york. [ cheers and applause which makes harry potter the second harry to ditch the uk for north america. Steve oh [ audience boos jimmy i read that last year pokemon go users spent almost 900 million in the app. Steve ooh. Jimmy either that or a a 3yearold got a hold of their parents phone for five minutes. [ laughter ] and finally taco bell is now offering some of its managers 100,000 salaries. You can tell theyre making a lot of money, cause on their lunch break, they go eat chipotle [ laughter ] we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Martin lawrence is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy also Matthew Lopez and kyle soller are here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy and we got great music from karol g steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy tusa. Guys, today is friday. Thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff you know, i check my inbox, return some emails, and of course i send out thank you notes. And i was running a bit behind today, so i thought [ cheers and applause if you guys wouldnt mind, id like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool with you guys [ cheers and applause james, can i get some thank you note writing music please [ laughter ] always in such a good mood, you know steve yeah wow. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, harry and meghan, for deciding to give up your status and salary to live a normal life. Or as baby archie put it, wait, what . [ laughter ] steve whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. Jimmy thank you, prince harry, for leaving the royal family, or as youll now be called, the grandson formerly known as prince [ laughter and applause thank you, abc, for bringing back the show thirtysomething. Thought im not sure it can compete with this season of seventysomething. [ laughter and applause [ laughter ] thank you, fun socks, for being a great way of saying, i might not have a personality but at least ive got a penguin skateboarding on my ankle. [ laughter and applause come on, im fun. Steve come on, im fun jimmy loosen up, man steve i have to foreclose on your house. [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, john bolton, for looking like youre gearing up to testify at trumps impeachment trial, or struggling to read the sodium count on a box of fiber one. [ laughter and applause steve diabeetus. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, focaccia, for being invented by someone who took a bite of bread and was like, tasty, but i wish it had been dropped in a pile of pine needles. [ laughter and applause then i would like it [ laughter ] thank you, meerkats, for always looking like a person politely waiting for the server to finish listing the specials. [ laughter and applause steve is that the last one [ laughter ] jimmy whats that . Steve is that the last one jimmy this is it right here steve of the night or for just [ laughter ] jimmy just for just for tonight. Steve just for today, okay, good sorry to interrupt you [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, Timothee Chalamet, for growing a tiny new mustache. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. [ laughter ] steve ah jimmy thatll do it for my thank you notes. Well be right back with more tonight show, everybody. Come on back [ cheers and applause i wrote this a long time ago. I dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real Football Team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. Or these. Good thing theyre sold literally everywhere business is done. Im pretty sure you could buy them at a bank. Not sorry. Reeses. Of a lifetime. Its progressive on ice. Everything you love about Car Insurance the discounts. The rate comparisons. And flo in a boat. Insurance adventure awaits at progressive on ice. Tickets not available now or ever. At progressive on ice. Delivered to your car door so you can do more. Try drive up at target. Feels so good feels so good target run and done. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. Now [ cheers and applause thank you for being here happy friday great crowd. Guys, if theres one thing ive learned doing this show its that no one should have to listen to bad music. So, as a service to you guys, im about to play you some real songs, from real bands that i think you should avoid, in my segment i call my do not play list. Here we go [ cheers and applause do not play do not pla do not pla these songs these songs jimmy before we start, i just want you all to know that every artist and song that im about to play for you is 100 real [ light laughter ] these are actual bands and actual songs you can find them on spotify or amazon or deezer [ light laughter ] yep, strambeau, stuff like that meepmorp [ laughter ] anything that you listen to music on, or you can go to your local music store and see if they have them cause these are absolutely real stuff quest, these are absolutely real questlove i dont believe you. Jimmy no [ laughter ] youll see what it is. So, lets see whats on my do not play list. This first one here is from a singer called raed melki and the album is called straight through. Theres raed steve raed jimmy hes up against, like, a chainlink fence steve mmhmm jimmy staring at the moon with a road going through his chest. [ laughter ] steve straight through his chest. Jimmy i get it i get it makes sense. Lets take a listen to this breakup song its called no way. Steve mm [ unintelligible singing ] [ unintelligible singing ] [ unintelligible singing ] believe me girl im walking away im leaving your world jimmy all right, stop, stop, stop, stop [ laughter ] stop, stop, stop what questlove did you start the song yet [ laughter ] jimmy it almost sounds like hes singing backwards [ laughter ] [ unintelligible singing ] flip it and reverse it [ laughter ] [ unintelligible singing ] [ laughter ] anyway, she broke up with him. Steve wow, really . Jimmy unfortunately. Steve who woulda thunk [ laughter ] jimmy well, this next one is a polish singer named ian fell steve there you go jimmy have you ever heard of ian fell . Yeah jimmy okay [ laughter ] steve come on come on jimmy the song this is real the song is called, coffee break. Steve coffee break. Jimmy thats the name of the song ian fell steve polish singer. Jimmy yeah, lets take a a listen have a coffee break have a coffee brea have a coffee brea coffee break coffee please with sugar with sugar with sugar coffee brea coffee please jimmy all right, thats good steve yeah [ cheers and applause you know the words jimmy i listened to it i listened to it, like four times. Steve thats you you know the words already jimmy its not what hes singing. No, i just steve no, its a catchy tune jimmy its catchy. Steve it is catchy jimmy but, can you imagine the people behind him in line at starbucks [ laughter ] coffee brea coffee break [ laughter ] please with sugar [ laughter ] steve i love it. Jimmy oh, here we go this next one is from an electronic band. Steve sweet. Jimmy called they say. Steve they say jimmy the song is called hunk alert. Steve ah [ laughter ] jimmy take a listen to this hunk alert [ laughter ] hunk hunk hunk alert tight pant fire burning tight jeans heads turning [ cheers and applause tight shirts jimmy all right, thats good thats good. [ laughter ] i love it. Steve oh, man. Tight bun tight pant its a hunk alert jimmy i was wondering what Arnold Schwarzenegger was up to but hes [ laughter ] steve yeah, so jimmy hes in a new band with yeah, doing hunk alert. [ laughter ] steve hmm. Tight shirt tight pant barely fits in his clothes this next one is a reggae song steve oh, good jimmy and i love reggae. Yeah, absolutely i think we should listen to more reggae music. His name is tony williams. [ laughter ] no, no, no thats not him [ laughter ] steve its a hunk alert. Jimmy the album is called simple things. I would have called it simple tings. Steve well, there you go [ laughter ] yeah, thats cause youre on top of the polls [ light laughter ] jimmy anyway, hes from idaho and [ laughter ] questlove wait, wait jimmy where the reggae comes. Steve reggaes big there jimmy wrote a reggae song about it called up in idaho. Steve all right. Jimmy lets hear it. Yeah this ones for all the people in idaho. [ laughter ] all the idahos tru this ones for you i packed up my car and left l. A in a wicked mans lan i cant stay so where do i go im back to idaho with the deer and the moos and the buffalo cant forge about potato jimmy all right, yeah. Stop, stop, stop cant forge about potatoes cant forget about potatoes cant forge about potatoes pass the dutchie on the lefthand side pass the dutchi on the lefthand sid music make m jump up up idaho music make m jump up up he was on the stereo stereo stereo [ laughter ] jimmy this last one were down to our last album steve oh, come on. Jimmy sorry, but its a 70s album steve oh, great. Jimmy called disco for kids. Steve oh jimmy so, the song is called hands up boogie and this teaches kids how to disco dance. Lets take a listen. Here we go with the hands up boogie. Jimmy i think we should do it higgins, roots, audience, lets try it right from the start. Front bac left bac change two three fou cross two cross two cross two hands u front back front bac change two three fou cross two cross two cross two hands u arms two three fou five six seven eight turn two three four five six seven eigh hands up hands u hands up hol again front back jimmy oh, it couldnt be easier thats all the time we have for do not play. [ cheers and applause if you have an album or a song you think we should do on our next show, please, i want to see it send me suggestions. Donotplay tonightshow. Com. Stick around well be back with Martin Lawrence, everybody [ cheers and applause could swireally saveeico you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance . Do woodchucks chuck wood . Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance. 12. 99 all you can eat now with boneless wings. Only at applebees. worried im not picking it up. You pick it up im not picking it up ill pick it up theyre clean raps cuz my hineys clean. Oh yeah im charmin clean. Charmin ultra strong just cleans better. Enjoy the go with charmin. whistling an expression of disgust caused by inadequate litter. Stank face. Tidy cats is the cure. With guaranteed tidylock protection. You wont have to face one more stank face. Tidy cats. Every home, every cat. Theres a tidy cats for that. groans hmph. food grunting menacingly when the food you love doesnt love you back, stay smooth and fight heartburn fast with tums smoothies. Tum tumtum tum tums everything your trip needs for everyone you love. Expedia. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is a a legendary comedian and actor hes reuniting with will smith for the highly anticipated film bad boys for life [ cheers and applause which hits theaters and imax next friday. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Martin Lawrence [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause thank you jimmy we missed you. Thank you jimmy Martin Lawrence in the house. [ cheers and applause thank you jimmy thats how you do it thank you jimmy and the roots. Thank you jimmy for having me, man. Jimmy oh my gosh its so good to see you. Come on, you got youre kind of grooving over there when we came in. Yeah. Jimmy just a little every now and then i got to give you a funky move. Jimmy you threw a little couple moves in there. You know, and the roots, you know, they do their thing. You know jimmy god, you got to. You got to yeah. Jimmy exactly, right come on. [ cheers and applause you were acting like kind of boxing moves in there. Are you oh yeah jimmy were you ever a boxer . Yeah, when i was young, i was a runnerup in golden gloves, and i was a aau champion jimmy were you really . Yeah. Jimmy wow, before a comedian you want to be a boxer . Yeah, i could do work with these things, man. Jimmy yeah oh, yeah. Jimmy did you have a goto move, like a good knockout well, you know, you got the jab, right jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah let me stand up and show you. Jimmy yeah, yeah you got the jab [ cheers ] then, you got the right hand jimmy uhhuh and then you got the hook jimmy ooh. All right, your hooks you got to turn that you know, turn with it [ light laughter ] so, then when you put it all when you put it all together, you pow, pow, boom. Jimmy boom see that . See that pow, pow, boom jimmy see, i almost walked out and then you wah, wah, woom bop thats it. Jimmy ooh, thats when i walked away. Thats the combo. Thats the combo one, two, three. Jimmy could you fake them out . You fake them