Tom hiddleston Michael Eric Dyson musical guest noah cyrus featuring leon bridges and the legendary roots crew questlove 1163 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy please, have a seat. [ cheers and applause enjoy yourselves relax. Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Thank you for being here [ cheers and applause thank you for watching what a crowd you guys, thanksgiving is just a few days away. And i saw that about 50 Million People will be traveling for the holiday. Yeah, heres how that breaks down 10 million are visiting family, while 40 million are delivering weed to those 10 million steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy listen to this according to a study conducted by motel 6 [ laughter ] people get sick of family during the holidays after about four hours [ light laughter ] thats interesting but i prefer to get all my data from the scientists at la quinta. [ laughter ] la quinta. The weather this week is supposed to be so bad that it could mean no balloons at this years macys [ audience groans thanksgiving day parade. Steve come on jimmy if youre bummed, think about the guy who spent the last 11 months blowing them up [ laughter ] [ huffing and puffing jimmy oh, come on you got to be [ fart noises [ laughter ] [ balloon squeaking [ light laughter ] [ balloon squeaking [ light laughter ] [ fart noise ] [ laughter ] i [ fart noise ] thank you. [ cheers and applause steve higgins, everybody steve higgins. Guys, i heard about a new thanksgiving recipe where you can cover your turkey in cheese powder [ light laughter ] take a look at this. Steve oh [ audience groans jimmy yeah President Trump saw that turkey and was like, oh, my god. Who does your makeup [ laughter ] i love it. You look so healthy. You look so healthy. [ applause ] steve so lifelike. Jimmy wow. This is fun. Tomorrow trump is pardoning a turkey in the white house rose garden. Yep, a turkey is getting a a pardon, which is why Rudy Giuliani was just spotted dressed like this. [ laughter ] just pardon me, please. Just do it, do it. Put me out of my misery, please. But this is true this Years National thanksgiving turkeys are staying at a hotel in d. C. Check it out its for real. [ laughter ] even crazier, eric and don jr. Are spending a week in a turkey coop steve wow. Jimmy its unbelievable. [ laughter ] its a trade [ cheers and applause well, the big news from this weekend is that former new york city mayor Michael Bloomberg has officially launched his president ial campaign. His new slogan is [ scattered applause ] his new slogan is rebuild america. Which is better than his first slogan, more popular than de blasio, less crazy than giuliani [ laughter ] i read that bloomberg is worth around 54 billion [ audience oohs and he will be financing his own campaign 54 billion. That is crazy. To put that in perspective, thats like adding up all the money trump is worth then adding 54 billion [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause im sorry. Im sorry. 55 billion. Thats right [ laughter ] i think bloomberg versus trump would be great one guy was knighted by Queen Elizabeth in 2014. The other guy had this [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Steve come on. [ light laughter ] jimmy whered she go steve whered she go . She went down a wall. [ light laughter ] jimmy meanwhile, today at the white house, trump hosted the hero dog that was wounded during the al baghdadi raid. His name is conan. Check it out yeah [ audience aws ] it was interesting when trump said sit, stay and roll over, every republican in congress started doing it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] of course, the big the other big news from the weekend was trumps 53 minute phone call to fox and friends. Did you hear about this . That doesnt include the first 20 minutes of the call, where trump kept yelling representative. [ laughter ] representative. [ laughter ] it was so nuts fox news actually ended the call. Fox news ended the call. Which means the hosts of fox and friends were busier than the president of the united states. [ laughter ] whats going on . During trumps call into fox and friends, the hosts had trouble getting a word in. Check this out but mr. President , can i ask you its like a massive wall. Yes. Who who why arent they putting up money . But theres one dont forget, dont forget president obama released everything brian yes its a scam okay, gotcha. So mr. And now on top of it on the economy i got that. President xi but listen, rebuilding the military and he wants to make a trade if i could just look brian, one thing okay. Before i get off. [ laughter ] jimmy that went on that went on forever. Take a look. More people working today than ever before [ laughter ] in fact, listen to this. We have now the greatest economy. [ cheers and applause jimmy well, this is interesting. A new poll came out that said most americans are still undecided yeah. You know whos dope . Jimmy whats that . Do you know whos dope . Jimmy im sorry, no. Who . Former mayor of new york and current lawyer for the trump crime family, Rudy Giuliani. Thats right. Jimmy i dont know about that, guys hear us out yes, giuliani is at the center of the trump bribery scheme. Mmhmm. Apparently he tried to pressure ukraine into investigating joe biden, a a potential political opponent of trump in 2020 is the evidence overwhelming absolutely but we say, so what . Mmhmm. You see, we got to we got a chance to meet Rudy Giuliani while we were en route to make a movie in a third world country mmhmm. Cleveland mmhmm. [ laughter ] and guess what . He took a selfie with us jimmy oh, my god [ light laughter ] is taking a selfie enough for us to look past his potentially criminal wrongdoing yes, yes it is. [ laughter ] in fact, he said if we help set up his podcast, hed pay us 10,000 a week thats 10,000 more than you pay us, jimmy. Yup [ laughter ] and not only that, giuliani even asked us for some advice on his pending criminal investigation. You see, we studied the law we learned about the intricacies of the law from institutions like nyu, duke and the streets. Mmhmm. [ laughter ] and given our legal expertise, we guaranteed rudy he wouldnt see any jail time. Just prison time mmhmm. [ laughter ] definitely prison time. So to our best friend rudy, we say thanks for the selfie and while youre in prison, you probably should be as nice to the brothers you locked up mmhmm. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] they will kill you. Yeah. [ laughter ] thanks, rudy. Thank you, rudy jimmy all right, give it up [ cheers and applause for giulianis best friends, the lucas brothers thank you, guys. One selfie some entertainment news. This weekend, frozen 2 made over 130 million. [ cheers and applause which is why elsa Just Announced shes running for president and financing her own campaign [ laughter ] some more movie news i saw that daniel craig said that hes done playing james bond [ audience aws ] and the news has left fans shaken [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause the American Music awards [ light laughter ] the American Music awards were last night and everybody is talking about lizzos tiny purse do you see check this out look at that oh, my [ laughter ] steve come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy it looks small to us, but kevin hart calls that a backpack [ laughter ] meanwhile, Spirit Airlines would still charge you 25 bucks to bring that on board [ laughter ] and this is fun. When she opens it up, Michael Bloomberg popped up. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy this made me laugh elon musk just introduced the new tesla truck. [ laughter ] unfortunately things didnt go so well showing off the shatterproof glass windows. Take a look at this. Sure . Yeah. Oh, my [ bleep ] god. Well, maybe that was a little too hard [ laughter ] jimmy everyone who signed up elons rocket to mars was like, never mind. You know what . Im just gonna [ laughter ] oh, this is fun. Over the weekend there was a a sopranos convention in new jersey it was a lot of fun. There were people in track suits smoking cigars, eating gabagool and next door to that was the sopranos convention. Steve oh [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy whats going on what are they doin over there what are they doin . And finally, this isnt good it just came out that romaine lettuce has been linked to an e. Coli outbreak on the bright side, it looks like im just one salad away from losing all that thanksgiving weight. [ cheers and applause we have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a big show tonight. From the final star wars film, daisy ridley is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy daisy Tom Hiddleston is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy Michael Eric Dyson is here steve whoa jimmy hes got a book. [ cheers and applause its about jayz and we got great music featuring noah cyrus featuring leon bridges [ cheers and applause what a show. What a fun show. The roots and i are what do you call it . Been rehearsing and practicing were going to be in the thanksgiving day parade. Steve oh jimmy there may not be [ cheers and applause there might not be balloons, but were showing up steve yeah, youre going to be there [ light laughter ] jimmy we will definitely be there. And i think this is our float. Were on the entenmanns float im very excited about this. This is the entenmanns float. [ laughter ] we want to have the craziest, funnest float ever were trying to think of what song to do but i think we we came up with it. We have a you know, seth herzog. Steve right. Jimmy great comedian steve great warmup jimmy and writer here on the show we have seth dressed up as a a turkey tariq yeah jimmy with a surfboard and then we sing surfin bird. Right . Well everybodys hear about the bird bbbbird bird bird bird bird is a word awell a bird bird bird bird is a wor awell a bird bird bbirds a word well dont you [ cheers ] thats right yeah don surfing brrrrrrrragh [ laughter ] i think its going to be fun im looking forward to it. This will be our fifth time, right . Doing the float questlove yeah, yeah jimmy in the thanksgiving parade weve had so many fun adventures there its going to be fun steve so fun jimmy yeah, well i mean, we became friends with Ronald Mcdonald. Steve yeah questlove yeah jimmy we hung out with Ronald Mcdonald on a tour bus for, like, 25 minutes. [ laughter ] it was like the oddest thing we have ever done ever. Having an actual straight up conversation with Ronald Mcdonald. Steve Ronald Mcdonald, yeah jimmy trying to act like hes not dressed like a clown. Steve yeah [ laughter ] hows business jimmy hes going, oh, man traffic was crazy. [ light laughter ] im like, i cant have a a conversation with you, man youre dressed like Ronald Mcdonald. Anyway, its its going to be fun im so looking forward to it i love it. Thank you, macys, for inviting us and were going to put on a good show. Steve yeah jimmy going to be fun. [ cheers and applause jimmy tariq tariq, you okay, buddy . You look annoyed tariq im good [ laughter ] jimmy you sure you dont seem good. Tariq yeah, i just got some things on my mind. You know things that go on my irk list. Jimmy whats an irk list [ laughter ] tariq its just its like a list that i keep of things that annoy me random stuff you know what . Ill just show you its time for tariqs irk list. [ cheers and applause tariqs irk lis ba duh bah ba duh bah jimmy wow. Tariq well steve hes writing them down now jimmy yeah tariq first on my list, i got meteorologists i mean, just because they are called meteorologists. What do you study . Meteors . [ light laughter ] look, you can always be the weatherman or weatherlady. Im sorry, al. But i watch i watch the weather just to find out what the temperature is for the day and then they want to add on a a heat windex or some wind chill factory before they get to what they call the real feel temperature. And i go, all i want to know is the real feel temperature in the first place. [ laughter ] i mean, factoring in averages, deducting degrees . Whos trying to do all that math meteorologists, youre on the irk list [ laughter ] jimmy okay all right, all right very good. [ applause ] so theyre on the irk list tariq speaking of which, this is second jimmy who else what else what else is on the irk list tariq speaking of which, whats up with that long ass delay between studio and onlocation segments on the news its like, thats the weather in your neck of the woods. Back to you, ralph. And then ralphs standing there like [ laughter ] thanks, al. [ laughter ] i mean, its honestly just a a few seconds delay, but the real feel time is hours. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy, what are you, like 45 jimmy yeah tariq okay, you still got another year or so but [ laughter ] soon youll see, a grown man needs to know what its really going to feel like outside cause any subtle miscalculation in the weather, a rogue sneeze, an overzealous reach for the remote control, can cause serious bodily harm or injury. [ laughter ] and then what . Huh . I mean, i used to know who to call, because there was a jingle stuck in my head for years. It went cellino and barne injury attorneys 8008888888 [ laughter ] man, that was a gem. It had all the pertinent information and no filler. I mean, who are these guys anyway cellino and barnes what do they do . Theyre injure attorneys, fool [ laughter ] whats their number . 800 and all eights come to find out these jokers are breaking up. Now nobody wins. See, now theyre probably going to have separate practices but how are we going to get in touch with them, jimmy theyre probably going to lose the sweet ass number we all grew to know and love. [ laughter ] so i go, whats the new number . And its like cellino injury attorne singular not plural for serious inquiry dm my ig or text my sister at 97355501 im like, forget it, cellino. [ applause ] your ass is going on the irk list and barnes too. Happy thanksgiving, mother[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause steve wow wow i did not see that coming. Jimmy tariq trotter, everybody. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause well be right back with daisy ridley [ cheers and applause grandson wow. grandfather that was me, seventy years ago. vo some things are worth preserving. You can choose the National Park foundation to get two hundred and fifty dollars from subaru when you get a new subaru, like the all new outback. vo 2 get 0. 9 on a new outback during the subaru share the love event. Is raised with no allantibiotics ever. Chicken, [ music winding down ] theyre a great decision for snacktime. Allowing the band to practice at your house. Not a great decision. Keep it real. Keep it tyson anytizers. paul sprintern the hspeaking of magic, are ti turned my iphone 6s into the new iphone 11. paul its true, trade in an iphone 6s or newer in any condition and youll get the powerful new iphone 11 for just 0 a month when you switch to sprint. sprintern yeah, an iphone 6s for an iphone 11. Or trade in your beloved iphone 7, trusty iphone 8, amazing iphone x. paul . Take them all to 11. sprintern see, i told you, magic. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com jcpenney. Remember the little things. [ cheers and applause steve and now, here to do a rap recap of all eight star wars movies, ladies and gentlemen, daisy ridley. [ cheers and applause said a long time ag in a galaxy far far away a guy named vade tried to kidnap the rebel Princess Leia so she employed a droi to record her a quick note she said help me obi wan kenobi. Youre my only hope. [ cheers and applause go, hyperspace zoom send up some battle plan in an r2 c3po saying theyre doomed until theyre bought by a farmer named luk hey, his force is strong obi wan hasnt heard that name in long solo shoots firs dont say that im wrong it took him 12 parsecs for his kessel ru well, sure chewie was chartin the course luke learned the wa of the force blew up the death star he had no remorse he got a meda hes ready for mor strike bac rebels on hoth are attacke yoda shows u and talks backward battle with boba fett put up a figh han got froz in carbonite, burr wasnt the plan suddenly luke is in nee of a han Lando Calrissian led the to slaughter and darth vader said to luk i am your father what . Jabba the hutt got to you admit that bikini was hot yoda is dying yes, thats why im crying take this any longer i simply cannot hey, sidious you were quite hideou vader protected his ki im not kidding im serious blew up a death star cause it was a trap shout out to ewoks cause they had our back jimmy prequel time you ready . Back in the day little boy anakin loved to pod rac padme escaped darth maul went ape the ending for qui gon jim wasnt so grea attack of the clones ten years pas anakins grown he falls in love but his master is captured his mother is kille and then that spells disaster oh, mace windu anakin loses an arm to dooku secret marriag twins in the carriage palpatines savag and vader breaks through im trying to thin whod i forget . Whats his name . Meesa called jar jar binks. Jimmy flash forward, lightspeed now today jumping ahea to a scrapper named re hey teamed up with po and a stormtrooper fin who betrayed the first order so we let him i bb8 solo vs solo han met his fate rose got to wor klyo wont put on a shir kylo is kind of a flir tracked down luke he was giving me hate until he saved the resistance on crai now skywalkers gone but faith in the forc remains strong skywalker always lives o you cant stop me im a jedi from jakku fight the dark sid from tatooine to naboo let go of everything that you fear to lose be the spark that lights the fire and may the force be with you [ cheers and applause jimmy daisy ridley, everybody. Star wars the rise of skywalker comes out december 20th stick around well be right back. [ cheers and applause its laundry truths, with cat and nat. I have so many kids and so much laundry. I dont have time for pretreating. What even is this . It looks like cheese but it smells like barf. With tide pods, you dont need to worry. 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