Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Alex RodriguezLili Reinhart, comedian ian lara, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1156 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it youre here. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here you look good. Well, lets get to some news it just came out that donald trump jr. s new book is now number one on the New York Times best seller list when he heard that, President Trump was like, you lost me at New York Times and lost me again at don jr. [ light laughter ] im just kidding trump was actually pretty excited for don jr he even tweeted, wow, was just told my sons book triggered is number one on the New York Times best seller list congratulations, don. Thats a pretty special moment for don jr until a few minutes later when trump tweeted, just got hacked ignore last tweet. [ laughter ] steve wow. Come on. Why, why jimmy well, tomorrow the impeachment hearings continue, and were going to hear from Marie Yovanovitch the ambassador to ukraine that trump fired. Im a little worried, because if every person trumps ever fired is going to testify, the impeachment is going to last forever. Its like [ laughter ] lil jon, please raise your right hand. What . Yeah [ light laughter ] do you swear to tell the truth . Okay [ laughter ] tomorrow, all the regular daytime tv shows will be preempted again for the impeachment hearings but to keep viewers happy, they are getting the price is right announcer to tell the witnesses to, come on down [ laughter ] youre the next witness in the trump impeachment. But after tomorrows testimony, another eight witnesses are going to testify next week just a word of advice for the democrats. If you preempt another five episodes of the Kelly Clarkson show no one is going to support you. Okay [ laughter ] come on. Dont do that. Some entertainment news. I saw that netflix and nickelodeon are teaming up to make movies and tv shows for kids yeah, right now netflix is competing with disney to make sure your kids never go outside again. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy everyone is still talking about disney . It launched this week. It features almost 500 different movies steve wow. Jimmy yeah, i was looking through it this afternoon. And, sure, it has all the classics, but there are some pretty obscure movies that i didnt even know existed for instance, im not too sure about this one lady and the tramp stamp. Steve wow. [ laughter ] i never even heard of that jimmy you never no, its real i didnt also, i had no idea that they made herbie fully loaded on bath salts. [ laughter ] steve what is Buddy Hackett in it i mean, thats crazy jimmy next one is unfortunate. Sleeping beauty takes ambien and tweets something racist. [ laughter ] steve oh, my gosh. They made that as a movie . Jimmy i mean, you have a a lot of options on disney . Steve wow. [ light laughter ] jimmy the next movie will ruin anyones dinner pluto cant stop scooting. Steve okay [ laughter ] why would they make that as a movie . Jimmy i dont know i dont even know why i watched it twice steve you watched it twice jimmy yeah, i loved it [ light laughter ] there is also this very unnecessary sequel the sound of music from the nazis perspective. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] why would they do that steve why . Why would you need that . How was it jimmy i didnt see that one. Steve okay [ laughter ] this movie is depressing honey, were the right size, but i think weve grown apart. Steve wow. [ laughter ] wow, thats a downer jimmy no twist or nothing. Steve disney . Jimmy yeah and finally, check this one out. Frying dory. Steve oh, my [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] jimmy i mean the omega the omega threes alone steve yeah, yeah its good its heart health its heart health. Jimmy some tech news apple Just Announced that theyre launching their most powerful laptop ever, the new macbook pro at a cost of 6,000 steve ooh. Jimmy yeah, 6,000 for something hot to sit on your lap. Ot as most guys call that, a a Bachelor Party hey. [ light laughter ] and this is cool the Worlds Largest starbucks opens tomorrow in chicago. Check this out look at that [ audience ohs ] the place is huge. Its 35,000 square feet. Five stories high. Best of all, it has two outlets. Steve oh [ laughter ] you gonna be done with that outlet jimmy thats right its a starbucks thats vefi stories high i think i know how this happened when the builders said, what size do you want . The starbucks people were all like, tall. [ light laughter ] seriously, the starbucks is massive. Ill give you an idea. When you ask for the bathroom key, its attached to a car door steve wow. [ light laughter ] jimmy i saw that food brands post and hostess [ light laughter ] thats how thats how big it is steve thats how big it is thats a pretty big thing. Cars are pretty big. Jimmy yeah i always love that they embarrass you with the keys to the bathroom like, can i have the key to the bathroom . Theyre like, sure. And they give you like a hub cap or something [ light laughter ] steve or a cinderblock steve a giant espresso machine. Yeah, ill pick my dont embarrass me i saw that food brands post and hostess are teaming up to make a twinkies cereal. That story again, post and hostess are teaming up to give stoners diabetes [ laughter ] and, you guys, finally im very excited about this Alex Rodriguez is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause hes here promoting his show called back in the game, which is about helping athletes manage their finances. Arod has some really good Financial Advice he tells people it helps to save, it helps to invest, and it helps to marry an actress worth half a billion dollars [ cheers and applause we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. Come on. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Alex rodriguez is here [ cheers and applause arod love that guy. Lili reinhart is here. Oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause and weve got standup from ian lara, everybody. [ cheers and applause guys, its the end of the week and thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. You know, i check my inbox, i return some emails, and, of course, i send out thank you notes. [ scattered cheers ] and so i was just wondering if you guys wouldnt mind been running a bit behind. If you guys wouldnt mind, id like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that okay with you . [ cheers and applause james, can i get some thank you writing music please [ light laughter ] steve he is pumped jimmy he is in a good mood steve he really wants to hear these thank you notes [ light laughter ] i think he just watched herbie full loaded. [ laughter ] yoink. So you have disney . Jimmy whats that . [ laughter ] steve so you got disney jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah steve thats great saw all those movies jimmy yeah, yeah i did. Thats right [ light laughter ] steve i was thinking about getting it [ laughter ] jimmy but then you didnt do it. Steve my kids are older. Jimmy but then you didnt do it. Yeah steve john is 24 today you know its his birthday now jimmy yeah happy birthday, john higgins [ cheers and applause he can still enjoy a good movie every now and then anyway thats great. I hope he has a great day. Steve aw, me too if i ever see him again. [ laughter ] jimmy if you ever see him again . You havent seen your child in a long time . Steve no [ light laughter ] jimmy you dont have to elaborate. Steve okay [ light laughter ] just weve grown apart, you know what i mean [ laughter ] its easy when theyre babies. You know what i mean hey, whats going on. Jimmy yeah, yeah, exactly. Steve they get older whatever blah [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah steve is dean jones in [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know i dont know if he is still around, to be honest steve was he in the jimmy dean jones steve yeah, dean jones jimmy the actor from the 60s and 70s . Steve herbie fully loaded, was he in that movie . Jimmy no, he was not i think he is unfortunately deceased steve oh, okay well, r. I. P. [ light laughter ] jimmy exactly right. Can we just turn his microphone off . [ laughter ] here we go thank you, Rockefeller Christmas tree, for doing what every outoftowner does best, block the sidewalk so someone can take your picture. [ cheers and applause i pressed the wrong button steve i got a thing. Its like a road jimmy thank you, new live action lady and the tramp movie on disney , for giving us something that no one asked for more realistic, sexy dogs [ laughter and applause steve yeah lady and the tramp [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, john bolton, for writing a book about your time in the white house. With any luck itll be just as successful as your first book. [ laughter and applause love that book steve love the lorax. Jimmy love that book steve speak for the trees. Jimmy thank you, arctic blast, for sounding like a a north polethemed sequel to the monster mash. [ light laughter ] it was the blas it was the arctic blas the arctic blast it was a glacier smash [ light laughter ] [ scattered cheers ] jimmy hey, theyre not all winners. [ applause ] steve yeah jimmy why couldnt you have interrupt me for that one . [ laughter ] i could have used you for that one. Yeah, yeah could have used your help there. Steve no, man, im good. Jimmy all right, cool. Steve yeah, i want to make sure youre good jimmy yeah im good, man. Steve that was not a good one. [ laughter ] jimmy that was okay. Steve it was okay, i guess youre right jimmy if i really committed to, like it was a blast steve right. [ light laughter ] jimmy youre right it wasnt that good. [ light laughter ] it was okay. You know, we tried steve yeah try another one. [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, that moment when you turn on the oven light, for giving my turkey the chance to feel like a cabaret performer. [ laughter and applause thank you, motel gyms, for letting me get a great work out in with the broken elliptical, a halfdeflated yoga ball, and a creepy dude staring at me. [ laughter and applause thank you, tooth fick [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy thats pretty funny . Steve a little too much. [ laughter ] jimmy something funny over there, muchacho . Tariq i just love it when you you know. Jimmy what was that . Tariq i love it when youre killing it [ laughter ] jimmy hmm. Thank you, tooth picks on swiss army knives, for being perfect for rugged survivalists who are still like, do i have something in my teeth . [ laughter and applause youd tell me, right thank you, spare tire, for being a reminder that if we break down at least ill have an extra tire to stare at until triplea arrives [ laughter and applause you ever change a tire, tariq . Tariq um not in recent years, no. [ light laughter ] jimmy no like is that something your limo driver does now tariq i mean, i dont have a limo driver. That would be questlove. [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy its World Kindness day. Go for it. Tariq i thought that was yesterday. Jimmy hey, for me its every day, dude. [ audience aws ] steve ooh, nice. Tariq touche [ ding ] steve nice tariq touche jimmy love you guys. [ light laughter ] thank you, hot air balloons, for basically asking me to trust my life to a wicker basket, a giant sheet, and an open flame [ laughter and applause whats that . Steve will you marry [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, cough drops. Or as i call them, unjolly ranchers there you have it. [ laughter and applause those are my thank you notes well be right back with more of the tonight show [ cheers and applause im your 70lb st. Bernard puppy, and my lack of impulse control, is about to become your problem. Ahh no, come on. I saw you eating poop earlier. Hey my focus is on the road, and thats saving me cash with drivewise. Whos the dummy now . Whoof whoof so get allstate where good drivers save 40 for avoiding mayhem, like me. Sorry hes a baby get 25 off home decor, target holideals bedding, bath and more. This weekend only. Save on everything you need for when Friends Family come home for the holidays. New holideals arrive all season long. Only at target. Sleep this amazing . Thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our liquid has a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. Iced chai. Ry. Pad thai. Baked pie. Pork chop. Soda pop. Scallop. Kebobs. Soursop. Hot pot. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. Onion ring. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody as i mentioned before, Alex Rodriguez is on the show tonight [ cheers and applause im so glad hes here. We actually had the chance to Work Together recently we called a baseball game together and it was a lot of fun. But the teleprompter operator was kind of a loose cannon he would put lines into the teleprompter that we had never seen before so wed end up reading things for the first time live on air it was a little nerveracking. But i think we handled it all right. We actually have a clip of some of our highlights from the broadcast. Take a look. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy hello, and welcome to todays game im jimmy fallon and if youre wondering, yes, theyre real [ laughter ] yes, they are and im Alex Rodriguez and you can call me little [ cheers ] cutie. Wait, juicy fruit booty. Jimmy, can i be honest i have an idea what am i doing here and what baseball is back to you, cynthia what [ laughter and applause jimmy well, gonzales steps up to the plate. Hes hoping to raise his batting average. But me, im hoping to raise my cholesterol which is [ laughter ] why i eat one hard boiled egg at breakfast, one at lunch, one at dinner and one right before making love. [ laughter ] you know, baseball actually reminds me a lot of making love jimmy oh, yeah why is that . Its slow, boring [ laughter ] and you always leave early to beat the traffic [ laughter and applause jimmy hey, just a just a quick reminder that tomorrow night at the stadium is rat night. [ laughter ] first 20,000 fans to arrive will get a free, live rat. [ laughter ] for tickets to the game, call our number at 212wetrat extension 12 [ laughter ] ask for lenny kravitz. No, not that lenny kravitz, a different lenny kravitz. Anyway, hes a good dude hell hook you up with a rat [ laughter and applause heres a fun fact i never used to shower after games. Jimmy oh i used to strip down in front of my locker and lick myself [ laughter ] clean my little kitty cat and meow, meow [ laughter and applause jimmy what makes taylor such a good pitcher is that he throws a blinding fastball, a wicked changeup, smelly curveball, super horny splitter and a boozy daiquiri oinkoink. What does the hog say . [ laughter and applause i was i was thinking they should make a space jam for baseball jimmy oh, yeah ill play bugs bunny and say his famous catch phrase, hows it going, doctor. [ laughter and applause jimmy you know, when i root for a team, i like to say my favorite cheer oh, mama, dalai lama, charlie sheen, barack obama. [ laughter ] tickle me, ill tickle you seal my butt with elmers glue. [ laughter ] i actually won the mvp in 2003, 05 and 07. But he dont fool by the rocks that i got im still ally from the block. [ laughter ] bazinga. [ cheers and applause jimmy we should [ cheers and applause we should do that more often we should we should. Jimmy stick around well be right back with more of the tonight show, everybody. [ cheers and applause Alex Rodriguez when i think of what my imagination looks like. [laughs] i mean, wow. The surface is a tool that helps me realize beautiful ideas. Were honored to have you on campus for taflac icial visit. Coach saban, how is aflacs Program Different from Health Insurance . Well aflac gives you money directly, for things Health Insurance doesnt cover. Aflac we put together a little highlight reel for you. Heres aflac helping you with your deductible. Copays. Out of pocket costs. You look good paying bills. Get to know us at aflac. Com of millions of americans during the recession. So, my wife kat and i took action. We started a Nonprofit Community bank with a simple theory give people a fair deal and real economic power. Invest in the community, in businesses owned by women and people of color, in affordable housing. The difference between words and actions matters. Thats a lesson politicians in washington could use right now. Im tom steyer, and i approve this message. Only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. Repeat after me. Hi am grateful. Audience i am grateful. Nice. I am joyful. Audience i am joyful. And i am getting all the gifts i need this holiday. audience screams you get a sweater you get a coat you get all the gifts what . hurry in to shop forty percent off everything. Thats forty percent off everything now, at old navy. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is a a baseball legend and the founder and ceo of arod corp. He has a new show called back in the game which airs wednesday nights at 10 00 p. M. On cnbc. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Alex Rodriguez [ cheers and applause jimmy we love you. Thank you so much for coming back last time you were here, i made you tell me all about your elaborate proposal to jlo and everyone it was so funny. [ cheers ] cause i mean, he practiced it with his assistant the night before ashley [ light laughter ] jimmy you knew exactly what time the sun was setting it was awesome now i want to know Wedding Planning is this worse . Or is it more fun or what . I mean, are you planning it . Are you working on it . I would say its stressful, but its really not. Its actually you just let jennifer plan everything and you just say, alright. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah exactly right. But is the tricky the thing that everyone is going to ask you is are you going to do a choreographed first dance. Ooh jimmy yeah, its jlo. Anything to do with dance, i kind of just try to take a back seat shes a professional dancer. Jimmy i know i know but i told you last time when i have a few cocktails, im not awful. Jimmy okay [ laughter ] a little vodka, a little soda jimmy yeah im okay. Jimmy so maybe we can see that you work something o