[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Look at you guys thank you very much thats a hot crowd [ cheers and applause i love ya. Mwahmwah. I love ya. Please have a seat welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thats a good buzz here tonight. You guys, coming into work today, i saw a bunch of paparazzi outside, and i thought, well, youve still got it, jimmy. And then i remembered my guest tonight is Kim Kardashian west so i go, okay, well [ cheers and applause i actually ran into kim backstage and asked if she would post a picture of us on her instagram. She was like, no problem. Thatll be 2 million. [ laughter ] lets get to some news here. Tomorrow night is the third democratic debate on abc so it will be jeopardy and wheel of fortune, followed by a debate full of people who watch jeopardy and wheel of fortune. [ laughter ] tomorrows debate on abc is scheduled to be three hours long [ cheers ] americans are like, um, the only thing well watch for three hours on abc is the bachelor. Okay [ cheers ] well watch four hours of that one. Right now the candidates are making their way to the debate i saw that Amy Klobuchar and Pete Buttigieg were on the same flight look at this photo yeah [ laughter ] it got weird when bill de blasio walked by, like peanuts headphones . [ laughter ] it should be an interesting night, though. The debate will actually feature the top ten democrats. But theres still so many candidates, it could be hard to keep track tariq not really its biden, booker, buttigieg, castro, harris, klobuchar, orourke, sanders, warren, and yang jimmy wow. [ cheers and applause yeah not everyone has the list memorized like you, tariq. Steve hahahaha. Its not a matter of memorizing, jimmy. Its a matter of staying informed biden, booker, buttigieg, castro, harris, klobuchar, orourke, sanders, warren, and yang [ cheers ] jimmy good one, guys you both memorized the list to make me look bad but your average person doesnt know the whole list. And watch this miss, in the audience, can you name everyone running for president . Me . Jimmy yes, you oh, god i mean biden, and bernie and Elizabeth Warren jimmy see . I told you guys. Its not that easy there is also booker, buttigieg, castro, harris, klobuchar, orourke, and yang. And de blasio, bullock, bennet, gabbard, messam, and ryan are still running as well as williamson, steyer, sestak, delaney. And three republicans named walsh, sanford, and weld [ cheers and applause jimmy impressive thats impressive. Youre obviously an audience plant. Oh, im not a plant jimmy well but he is [ laughter ] hey, jimmy yeah, the candidates are biden, booker, buttigieg, castro, harris, klobuchar, orourke, sanders, warren, and yang. Jimmy all right, all right thats enough. Lets just move on [ applause ] the plant knows everything stop move on. Of course, the other big story is President Trump firing National Security adviser john bolton. Some are saying that part of the reason trump fired bolton is because he never liked his mustache [ laughter ] i guess whatever animal is on boltons lip didnt get along with whatever animal is on trumps head [ laughter ] [ growling ] actually, today john boltons Resignation Letter was posted online look at this yeah i might be with trump on this one. Anyone who folds a letter lengthwise should have been fired a long time ago. [ laughter ] who does that . Speaking of trump, yesterday he gave a speech, but i saw that he had a little trouble with the word deserve. Take a look at this. You have never stopped working to improve this country and [ slurring ] a a government [ laughter ] jimmy that didnt sound anything like deserve. Steve yeah jimmy maybe it would it help if we slowed it down. Dave, could we slow it down and see what that sounds like . Improve this country and [ slurring ] [ light laughter ] jimmy that made it worse maybe if we slowed it down even more [ slurring ] no, i cant hear it. Oh, i have an idea what if we played the clip in reverse . [ audio in reverse ] deserve [ audio in reverse ] jimmy he said it hey, he said it he said it in reverse [ cheers and applause guys, we have a giant, great show tonight give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Kim kardashian west is here steve oh, come on [ cheers and applause jimmy Kim Kardashian west is here. Were going to play a fun game later that involves our iphones. Steve ooh. Jimmy its a brand new game weve never tried it before. Also Winnie Harlow is here [ cheers and applause and im so excited for our musical guest tonight. Oh, my goodness, iggy pop is here steve yeah jimmy tonight [ cheers and applause hey, jimmy. Jimmy is this the plant talking . Steve yeah, the plant [ laughter ] hey, jimmy. Steve yeah, the plant was still involved jimmy get the plant out of here is the plant is still here steve yeah, the plant is still here hey, jimmy. Jimmy all right, get him out of here. [ light laughter ] and stop saying, hey, jimmy. You cant talk to me all day steve whats going on . Hey, jimmy. Jimmy all right. [ light laughter ] at least turn his microphone off. The plant its blinking steve how did the plant get blinking jimmy hes a blinking plant. Hey, guys, if you know one thing about me, its that i always try to be a positive pierre [ laughter ] steve you always do. Thats what i always say about you. Jimmy if you know one thing about me, guys, its that i always try to be a positive pierre, not a negative norbert [ light laughter ] steve its the fourth track. Jimmy wow. I guess there was the rewrite steve yeah, exactly. Jimmy in between rehearsal and now. Steve yeah jimmy thats why whenever i need a pick me up, i go to my main source of spiritual strength can i have that card from the first one . [ laughter ] no, no, yeah, yeah, thats it. Yeah i just want to show everyone this yeah, thats it. Steve guys, if you know one thing about me, its that i always try to be a positive pierre, not a negative norbert jimmy yeah steve thats it. Jimmy im going to give it to the plant [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause hey, jimmy. Hey, jimmy steve you didnt think the plant should leaf. [ audience aws ] did you say that, or not jimmy no, but i think that plant i think its on pot [ laughter ] hey, jimmy steve all right. Jimmy so whenever i need a a pick me up, i go to my main source of spiritual strength its inspirational quotes that your annoying friend posted on instagram. Folks, its time for a a brandspankingnew segment called, blessed, inspired. And now, blessed inspired [ applause ] jimmy now our first inspirational quote is nothing is impossible. Except for putting a usb cable in the right way on the first try. That is actually impossible. [ cheers and applause that is actually steve i broke it jimmy heres another one, here we dont remember days, we remember moments like the moment when you finally paid me back for the lunch i bought you last week, sheryl [ laughter and applause heres one heres one right here. Keep going, youre almost there. Actually it turns out, theres construction up ahead. Google maps just added 40 minutes to your travel time [ laughter and applause another 40 minutes put on a podcast, i dont know steve come on, what are you going to do, man jimmy heres another one dont rain on someones parade if you really want to ruin a a parade, give the clowns bath salts. [ laughter ] steve im going to eat your face whoaho jimmy im going to eat your face steve theres 40 of us in this car [ light laughter ] were a walking nightmare. Jimmy there were 41. Steve we ate him jimmy were down to our last quote steve aw jimmy it says [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] a majority of the crowd were psyched that were at our last the majority or the crowd were happy it was over. Steve happy it was over. [ laughter ] three people three cat lovers were not psyched. Jimmy were down to our last quote [ audience aws ] still not all the audience [ laughter ] steve it goes up you notice that one went aww jimmy i think its hold on a second, is this steve what are you doing [ imitating phone ringing jimmy control room steve yeah jimmy is this the last one steve yeah, it is. Are you sure you want it to be last one jimmy yeah i want to do this one. All right, talk to you later steve okay, hey, do me a a favor. Jimmy whats up . Steve dont be a negative norbert. [ laughter ] hey, wait. Jimmy were down to our last quote, you guys [ audience aws ] i want to do more. Its the suits upstairs. [ light laughter ] steve you want to do like a thousand of these. Jimmy here you go, it says children are the future. Just not your children [ eers and applause thats all the time we have for blessed, inspired. Stick around well be right back with Kim Kardashian west. Come on back [ cheers and applause when i think of what my imagination looks like. [laughs] i mean, wow. The surface is a tool that helps me realize beautiful ideas. mom, whispering shh, shh, shhh. Thank you associate, whispering hey, youre all set. mom, shouting really . Bamwhat . dog whining noise. mom, whispering that was so easy. associate bamwhat . mom bamwhat . Thats not even a word. Full of flavor. Color. Full of. Woo full of good. So you can be too. Try our new warm grain bowls today. Order now on doordash. Try our new warm grain bowls today. Sleep this amazing . Thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our liquid has a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. sprint paul its ipswitch and getsprint. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. And now you can get iphone 11 for paul zerodollars a month when you trade in your iphone 7 or newer in any condition. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Goldi knows to never compromise. Too shabby too much too perfect i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. What is this, some kind of fairy tale . Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. Oh baby bear [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. We have a very special guest for a brand new game please welcome the one and only Kim Kardashianwest. [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you so much for coming hey jimmy look at that a standing ovation they love you. They love you. Come on. [ cheers and applause welcome back welcome, we love you welcome back aw, thank you jimmy all right, thank you for being here it is time now to play show me your phone. [ cheers and applause show me your phone jimmy now okay. Jimmy heres how this is going to work. You and i will take turns hitting this button here, which will randomly select one of these icons on the board cowill reveal something that you must share from your phone. [ laughter ] neither of us know what any of these will say were just were told to bring our phones yep jimmy okay, and youre cool with this . Yeah. Jimmy all right, i dont know if im cool with it i think jimmy yeah, i know im like, all right. [ laughter ] all right, well i didnt even clean out my phone before jimmy me neither i have no idea yeah. Okay jimmy but i have nothing to really clean out [ laughter ] yeah, i honestly, i dont either jimmy yeah, all right. All right, here we go. Since youre mest, yre up first okay. Jimmy when youre ready, hit that button. Okay. [ generator sound jimmy oh, okay, thats text message . Jimmy show us the last text between you and your spouse. [ cheers and applause oh, my god. Jimmy come on. Its only the first round. Its only the first round. Wait, no one can see my password [ laughter ] jimmy oh, yeah, someones gonna figure it out. Im unlike my husband where i show my passwords when i [ laughter ] jimmy that was the best. Im on tv jimmy that was the best when he did that okay, okay. Last text message. Last text message. Jimmy you and kanye. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You ready . Its fine. Its fine. Its so sweet. Do i put it here jimmy yeah nope [ laughter ] oh, wait. Jimmy your phone is locked ahh wait, sorry. [ audience ohs ] jimmy what was that one . No, i got a text and something from kylie okay sorry, sorry, sorry. I dont know whats going on sorry. It popped up and i tried to swipe up the text and okay. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, lets see it here we go put it there and do not touch. Your phone is now locked west lake [ audience aws ] the first ranch in our family. 50 years from now this will mean so much to us [ audience aws ] i told you, its sweet. [ applause ] jimmy it is sweet. What is that what is okay, so he got a ranch in wyoming. [ gasps and theyre on the lake. It has something thats called west lake. So he took a picture of it and thats, like, a sign and hes so excited to maybe be moving to wyoming. I dont know i dont well, not full time [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Here we go all right, this is my turn here okay, okay. Jimmy let me hit the button here [ generator sound last text from my wife, what would that be . What . Jimmy let the other person play any of your voice memos [ laughter and cheers do you do voice memos a lot jimmy i do it too much actually, yeah really . [ laughter ] jimmy ill wake up at, like, 3 00 in the morning and just sing a song in my phone and think its good. [ laughter ] yeah. Jimmy but theyre mostly bad. But dont here just dont [ laughter ] you know what i do on my voice memos . I record as im putting my kids to bed, i press play and i listen to their stories that they tell me for bed so one day i have them all from my nephew, mason, when i would babysit him. And so i hear the cutest things that they say that ill play for them one day jimmy thats a genius idea [ audience aws ] yeah. Yeah jimmy thats i meant to say thats what i do with my voice memos. [ laughter ] all right, well, this is pick a okay. Jimmy pick voice memo. Oh. Jimmy i dont know which one its going to be theyre all okay, okay, okay, okay. Woah, you have so many okay [ light laughter ] ill just play the first one i dont know jimmy all right. So i just jimmy put it on this guy lock it in i dont like this. Thats what its called. [ laughter ] jimmy its a song called i dont like this. And its okay, so i press that jimmy yeah you press this and it its not ready yet so you just know its called no i dont like thi [ laughter ] no, no no i dont like this no no [ laughter ] colonoscopy jimmy colonoscopy. [ laughter ] shes inside of me jimmy shes inside of me its a work in progress song about getting checked and anyways yeah [ laughter and applause it sounds like its it sounds like its a sounds like an old jimmy yeah, i wish it was louder country folk song jimmy sorry. All right, lets move on your turn. You can hit that button. Oh, okay. [ generator sound jimmy sorry. Show us your last Google Search do you know how to do that [ laughter ] i dont [ laughter ] jimmy you cant you cant you could have warned me so i could, like jimmy you cant delete this clear search history. Jimmy okay, its almost time okay, okay. Jimmy show us your phone oh, my god, you guys. This is so embarrassing. [ laughter and applause jimmy come on. Oh, my god. Do i have to jimmy come on. Just do it just do it youre not going to understand jimmy no, i could i can figure it out. Your phone is now locked is shapewear with pee hole better [ laughter ] [ fog horn ] [ applause ] okay, okay, okay. Jimmy wait, is shapewear with pee hole better no, i just i Just Launched skims and ive been debating if i need a pee hole in certain of the things or if because, like, i would like, under a dress to, like, the emmys or whatever i would, like, try to use the pee hole and then you pee all over yourself and it doesnt it doesnt work half the time anyway [ laughter ] jimmy i think youre the only person that googled that at all no. [ laughter ] no, this is such a legit question so jimmy of, course its better, right . What was the what came up i mean, its, like, mixed [ laughter ] jimmy okay, here we go all right. Its my move here. Here we go [ generator sound shapewear with a pee hole. What if mine lands on clock . What happens with clock . What time is it . Whats your voicemail greeting when people call you ooh jimmy normal, i think. Just me going, im not here. I dont even have voicemail [ laughter ] thats like ancient. Does anyone have a voicemail these days its just like, text me. [ audience reacts jimmy are you serious . Yeah. Just text or call back jimmy but what if it goes to you do i hear your voice going, hey, i dont do this. No. [ laughter ] its like [ imitates tone show us your phone. Jimmy oh, yeah, here it is this is it here, this is this is my greeting that people hear when you call me. Okay. [ beatboxing ] leave a message at the beep like an eagle grab with the tallons youre leaving a message for jimmy fallon hes got various talents but listen hes got lots of [ bleep ] to do so please respect the balanc leave a message at the sound of the tone this is lin miranda freestylin on his phone he paid a lot of money for this please be sweet and please leave a message at the sound of the beep [ cheers and applause jimmy im very proud of that i dont get to hear that that is very good jimmy i dont get to hear that thats linmanuel miranda. Oh, nice. [ cheers ] this is back when he was doing oh, wow jimmy yeah, he did he did hamilton over at the public yeah. Wow. Jimmy and i won some charity thing for that thank you, lin okay, for our final round, our friend Winnie Harlow is on the show and she heard we were playing this game. She wanted to get in on the action she had an idea for something that we could do please welcome Winnie Harlow, everybody. [ cheers and applause jimmy take it easy on me take it easy us on, please oh, my god take it easy. Jimmy take it easy on us, please all right, winnie, what do you have for us . Well, this last round is for both of you. Okay. A challenge . Are you guys ready . Jimmy yeah pick any photo from the other persons deleted folder and post it to instagram [ audience ohs ] wait, from deleted . Yeah. So you know its going be bad. cause its in the deleted folder [ laughter ] jimmy i feel like im going to have much worse photos of my face [ laughter ] than you will dont scroll too much [ laughter ] dont worry. Jimmy all right. Its all good in here jimmy okay [ laughter ] thats not bad okay. [ laughter ] jimmy what you already found one . You look great in all of these can i ask your opinion . Okay. Is that funny like who takes pictures like this [ laughter ] that one, or that one jimmy what are you looking at i like this one jimmy who takes pictures like this . I think thats the best one jimmy you look great in all of these but wheres where is this where is this one . Did you post this one . Oh, no, thats jimmy where are you . In, like, a hotel or no. Thats in my closet. And thats in a fitting wearing this outfit. There was a hundred of those, because i was trying on thats your closet . Yes [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, your closet looks good i was trying on dont go zoom in jimmy i zoomed in a little bit. [ laughter ] dont go zooming in jimm