Guests Jesse EisenbergHailee Steinfeld stevmill and feuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1137 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thats what im talking about. Hey. Hot crowd, i love you. Oh my gosh, thank you very much welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it, im happy lets get to some news well you guys, more and more details are coming out about president trumps phone call with ukraine listen to what happened today. There is new reporting in the New York Times that a white house official told the whistleblower that president trumps call with the president of ukraine was quote, crazy and frightening. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats right the call was described as crazy and frightening. [ light laughter ] its not good when your call to a world leader gets the same review as zombieland 2. You know [ laughter ] the whistleblower went on to say that the official was visibly shaken by what had transpired that must have been some phone call apparently, no one has seen a white house staffer that shaken up since trump forced mike pence to watch the elton john movie [ laughter ] mother, get in here. Trump is so furious about the impeachment. Today he went on a twitter rant and wrote, a total scam by the do nothing democrats for the good of the country this wirch hunt should end now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause steve wirch . Jimmy yeah wirch hunt steve wirch hunt jimmy and trump may be losing his mind. Cause then he followed up by tweeting, ermagherd, its a werch hunt the ferds should fercus on hillarys ermails lerck her erp terdtle bershirt [ laughter ] unbelievable lerck her erp. Lerck her erp. Lerck her erp. Lerck her steve you got me jimmy trump is having meltdowns on twitter and refusing to cooperate with the impeachment. Right now trumps staff is like, hes 73, but hes still going through the terrible 72s. [ light laughter ] but the white house actually sent a letter to congress about the impeachment that says, all of this violates the constitution, the rule of law, and every past precedent. Trump was like, love it, but you spelled president wrong. Its with two zs. [ light laughter ] trump is now hiring more lawyers to fight impeachment including former congressman trey gowdy can we see trey gowdy . Yeah well, now we know what happened to draco malfoy. [ laughter ] not only is trump lashing out, hes now demanding an apology from everyone involved in the impeachmt. Then women, minorities, the disabled, mexico, and puerto rico were like, you first. [ laughter ] meanwhile, after trump pulled troops from syria today, turkey launched an attack against u. S. Allies while a reporter on msnbc tried explaining the situation, when she had an unexpected visitor. Take a look. We know that turkey wants to establish what they call a safe zone along the border. Their concern is that they want their concern is that they want to have a kurdish excuse me, my kids are here. Live television. [ light laughter ] jimmy wow [ applause ] wow. Pete buttigieg is really getting desperate for News Coverage [ light laughter ] honestly, she handled that more smoothly than some reporters have the question is how democracies respond to those scandals and what will it mean i would be surprised if they do [ light laughter ] um pardon me. [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god. I like that girl walk in with the banana. Steve hey, check this out. Jimmy this isnt good. American Airlines Says passengers on a recent flight may have been exposed to hepatitis. [ audience ohs ] American Airlines passengers were furious while spirit Airlines Passengers were like, thats all . I got polio. [ laughter ] yeah, passengers should have known something was up before the flight when the gating agent was like, now boarding zones a, b, and c. Thats hepatitis a, b, and c [ laughter ] i read that a growing number of doctors are diagnosing their patients via text message. Yeah, so instead of writing you have erectile dysfunction, they just send you an emoji of an eggplant and a sad face. [ laughter ] and finally, this isnt good, according to the cdc, the number of stds in the u. S have reached an all time high. At first, i wasnt sure why. Then i remembered its been a month since college started up again we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applaus jimmy we have got a fun show tonight Jesse Eisenberg is here. Hailee steinfeld is here [ cheers and applause and the one and only steve miller is here tonight [ cheers and applause steve dang jimmy welcome to the vault is this box set its so awesome. You have to get this all these guitar picks did you look at this thing questlove yeah jimmy its amazing dude. Steve wow. Jimmy all great stories, stuff written by even steve himself. I mean legendary. Steve yeah jimmy legendary catalog. Well, lets just run through some of them yeah [ clapping ] the joker. Steve yeah some people call me the space cowboy steve yeah, some people call me maurice. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah take the money and run. Go on take the mone and run yeah ooh keep on rocken me bab keep on rockin me baby jungle love its drivin me mad its making me crazy uh, jet airliner. Big ol jet airliner dont carry me too far away oh i always thought it was big old jet had a light on steve big old jet jay leno what jimmy no, i thought it was jet had a light on, but its jet airliner i thought it was big old jet had a light on jimmy oh abra abbr cadabr i want to reach ou and grab ya oh, i love that song Wild Mountain honey. Thats my jam too man. You run for the money you dont even kno about wi Mountain Honey [ light laughter ] and then the song hes doing tonight, fly like an eagle. Steve oh [ cheers and applause come on. Jimmy hot come on man. The guy rules the school man hes the coolest kid steve miller is here tonight steve yes jimmy come on. [ cheers and applause well be right back with Jesse Eisenberg everybody. Come on back, tonight show come back [ cheers and applaus6e ] when i think of what my imagination looks like. [laughs] i mean, wow. The surface is a tool that helps me realize beautiful ideas. Im learning to cookgy, at a restaurant. Ter work when i was looking for jobs on linkedin, i found a company that would support my passions outside of work. I hit apply, and here i am. A more rewarding target run. With deals surprises. Its free to join youll score more. And, help support your community. Youre invited to target circle. A more rewarding target run is waiting for you. Fishrisotto. Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings gelato. Curry. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Fried turkey. Blueberry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds cheese cake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. [growling] mail slice. We are literally going to hogwarts right now. This is unexpected. Ahhhh whoaaa this is incredible. We just got off hagrid, and it is by far the best ride. This is universal. Home of tripadvisors number one park in the world. So come join us. Get all three parks for just 53 a day, restrictions apply. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is an oscar nominated actor starring in t new film, zombieland double tap which hits theaters october 18th please welcome Jesse Eisenberg [ cheers and applause jimmy thats for you i know, i know. I dont know jimmy thats for you thank you jimmy star of stage and screen thank you jimmy Jesse Eisenberg. Welcome back to our show thank you jimmy i love having you on the show thank you very much jimmy i wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday thank you so much a few days late, but nonetheless. Jimmy yeah, happy birthday thats good. [ cheers and applause thank you jimmy it was this past weekend . Yeah, it was. Yeah, it happened. Yeah jimmy do you enjoy birthdays . No, no, no. Jimmy no, you dont. I dont enjoy mine. Jimmy no no, no, no. I enjoy other peoples birthdays which happens every day, but i dont enjoy my own birthday jimmy no no. Jimmy you never did . Even as a kid . Never did no, when i was a kid i hated it even more than i do now, because as a kid, i just remember, like, the pressure of having a Birthday Party, which i never had, because i was too nervous about who i would choose which friend i would choose to sit next to me and i didnt want to have to be in the position of ranking my friends like that. So i just opted to never have a Birthday Party jimmy oh my gosh i was so nervous. I didnt want to hurt anybodys feelings jimmy but what about family did family did you have parties with family. No. I sequestered myself in the room and said, i dont want to have to choose which one of you i like the most. I think they knew, but i didnt want to have to explicably say it [ laughter ] jimmy but did dude we talked once. You said your mom was a clown at kids parties. This is the great irony of my life. My mom was a birthday [ laughter ] the shoemakers son goes shoeless the Birthday Party clowns kid goes birthdayless i know jimmy oh my. Did she never entertained at your parties no, she didnt entertain, you know, because of nepotism. [ laughter ] but but, so she would one time, i did have one Birthday Party. She used to barter with the local magician she said, okay, if you do my sons Birthday Party, ill perform at your kids Birthday Party. And so i had one Birthday Party, and luckily, you dont have to choose where anybody sits cause its a magic you know, its a magic show. Jimmy yes. So you all just sit in a clump, so thats easy. [ light laughter ] but, you know because it was my birthday, he chose me to be like his sexy assistant. You know what i mean [ laughter ] i had to come up and be sawed in half, or pull the thing out of the hat, or whatever theyre doing. And, i hated that too, because then youre getting the attention for that, and then my friends know im better than them on that day [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah you dont want that, you dont want that at all but, now halloween is coming up, and i can just assume you dont appreciate that. Yeah, also didnt like that holiday. Jimmy no, no, no, no probably not [ laughter ] what would you do on halloween would you halloween, i just jimmy you just didnt like the idea of getting candy . I hated the idea of getting candy, i hated the idea of trick or treating. I always just thought it was like, the least efficient way to get food, you know. [ laughter ] you know, there were hunters, you know, thousands and thousands of years ago who got food more quickly than i did going door to door getting, you know, fun sized snickers bars. Its just i didnt like doing it and, you know, im a manic person so that kind of thing, this plotting thing of going door to door to get something thats tiny is jimmy i asked you to see if you can [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] i asked you if you could give us a photo, or ask your mom for a photo of you in one of your Halloween Costumes thats right. I asked my mom i said, im going on Jimmy Fallons show she loves you, by the way. I dont know if youve ever been told that somebodys mother loves you, but my mom loves you. [ laughter ] jimmy well, thank you. I love that, i love that i imagine thats like you must feel but anyway jimmy i love hearing that. Oh yeah a suburban women in new jersey love me . But anyway jimmy she caack, s gave us a photo of one of your Halloween Costumes yeah. Jimmy can you explain, what are you dressed as [ laughter ] what is yeah jimmy doesnt look like much of a costume. Also, the van should tell you everything you need to know about my childhood jimmy yeah but, yes, i guess this was my most elaborate halloween costume, according to my mother which is, like, a dickensian hat, and a basketball dethreaded basketball, i guess. You know, what is the basketball where it no longer has the dots on it thats the one i had but, yeah. No grip. Jimmy that was your that was your costume . That was my costume jimmy pretty good. Probably no one else at school was dressed like that. No. [ laughter ] jimmy no no, no, no. Jimmy youre the only one. Yeah, but after tonight, who knows . Jimmy it could catch on. Yeah. Jimmy i love your acting, but i also love your writing as well your write very funny ive seen stories in new yorker yeah. Jimmy that youve written. Thanks a lot. Jimmy theyre great. Oh, yeah, right jimmy explain this what is this this book . Yes, this is a book that im just part of a compilation of, including nate dern, one of your great writers here, is in it probably everybody whos ever written in the language, or maybe even a different language, is in this book, use its so huge yeah, if you can see it on the side yeah jimmy big book its of biblical proportions. Jimmy yeah, its a big book i have a book out, too let me see it, yeah jimmy this is it here. Baby, jimmy fallon, yeah. [ rs and applause could we just out of curiosity, can we compare font size . Jimmy yeah, we can compare font sizes, sure something tells me something tells me yours is gonna yeah. Here, so small, kind of modest 10 point what do you have jimmy these are baby [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause no zoom in necessary. Jimmy no, no, no you can see it from far away right, so this is mcsweeneys. This is started by dave eggers jimmy i love mcsweeney yeah, its all the best comedy writers write for this. And its a wonderful book. Probably written by 1,000 environmentalists, but wasting so much paper. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah you can buy it ironically jimmy its a good book if you like funny yeah. Jimmy check it out i want to talk about zombieland double click. Double tap. Tap double tap. Jimmy double tap. [ cheers and applause i love that everyone came back yeah, i know. Yeah, we waited 10 years to do the movie. Well we didnt wait, we were trying to do the movie right after the first one, cause the first one was so popular and then we just couldnt, like, couldnt, like we just waited for like, the best script in the meantime, the two writers, rhett reese and paul wernick did deadpool, and then we were kind of waiting for them to finish that so they can, like, write this. And we were all waiting, you know, me, woody harrelson, emma stone, abigail berslin, were all waiting for, like, the best script and it finally came in. Why are you laughing because i named the characters jimmy no, im laughing because they went on to probably write deadpool 2 as well yeah, they did that [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, and waiting for your writing your script. Yeah yeah, yeah. No, i meant it as a Series Deadpool t series. Jimmy oh, yeah exactly yeah yeah, theyre jimmy theyre really funny writers. But you came in is it fun we love woody and emma and abigail. Yeah, sure. Jimmy is it fun working with those guys . Oh yeah, theyre amazing. Yeah, i mean, yeah you only realize in retrospect how great they are, because, you know, you have other experiences that are not as amazing, and its just like the ideal collaboration. Jimmy do you like doing comedy more than drama do you care . Do you like both i like it, although every time i do a comedy, i remember how difficult it is for only one reason which is that its like, you usually have some amazing comic performer that well, you know also from being on snl. Jimmy yeah you would famously laugh and stuff which was funny as well. But like, no, you were great no, i mean, it was hysterical to watch it was like jimmy no, i mean, i didnt do it on purpose i didnt wanna laugh no, of course not i know, but i mean no, no, no, i mean jimmy other people have. Yeah, of course, yeah jimmy yeah, but i dont do it for i dont do it nor did i i would screw up, but like in zombieland, like youre you know, like, theres this great actress, zoey deutch in this jimmy yes. Everything she did was so unbelievably funny that its like impossible to keep a straight face. Jimmy i had the worst time on snl. I couldnt stop. Right, its difficult jimmy i was just out of my league, and i didnt know what i was doing. Whats going on jimmy will ferrell, now i feel bad about myself. What are you talking about . [ laughter ] youre a genius and you have the tonight show. You have the most storied talk show in history. Jimmy i dont even think im gonna celebrate halloween this year. Well, dont do that [ laughter ] jimmy but set up the movie for me its 10 years later . Right yeah, so zombieland takes place in zombieland 10 years later, and characters, you know, moved into the white house, and they kind of are all annoyed by each other. Its kind of like an odd couple situation, but its funny. And i dont know what youre about to see, but its from zombieland. Jimmy here we go i wanna show a clip. Heres Jesse Eisenberg in zombieland double tap. Take a look. Oh. I got it. What in the butt . What . Hi. Hi. Are we dropping her off at a no kill Animal Shelter or something . Come on, shes a human being, all right were not gonna, like, leave her here alone yeah, we cant just leave columbuss girlfriend. Okay. Ah, a minivan nice im not going to feel guilty about this you left me in, like, the harshest way possible. Yeah, but you recovered pretty quickly well, thank you can you help me i got it. Its just, like, heavy. No problem. Thank you go ahead, get in. You are so nice [ laughter ] jimmy Jesse Eisenberg everybody. [ cheers and applause zombieland double tap opens october 18th well be right back with Hailee Steinfeld, stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause of his greatgreatgrandmother, goldi knows to never compromise. Too shabby too much too perfect i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. What is this, some kind of fairy tale . Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. Oh baby bear we hide hotel names so you can score 4star hotels at 2star prices. Hotwire hotwire. Com frustrated that clean clothes you want to wear always seem to need an iron . Next time try bounce wrinkle guard dryer sheets. Just toss it in the dryer to bounce out wrinkles. 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