[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Thanks so much thank you. Please, please, have a seat. [ cheers and applause i love you i love you i appreciate it. Thank you very much. Sit down, relax. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Youre here and you made it. Im happy. [ cheers and applause you guys, my guest tonight is one of the alltime greats Sylvester Stallone is here [ cheers and applause backstage i asked him, can i get you something to drink water, soda . He was like, raw eggs. Steve really jimmy yeah [ laughter ] Sylvester Stallone is here i knew hed arrived in the billing when all 12 Security Guards downstairs were sprawled out on the floor unconscious [ laughter ] but it is great that hes here, cause i love having guests on the show that have the same workout routine as me. [ laughter ] stallone stars in the new movie rambo last blood. Yeah and this is strange. Hes also starring in the new Downton Abbey movie. Isnt that wild . [ laughter ] thats right rambo last blood and the new Downton Abbey movie are out the same night and if you plan on seeing both, who are you . [ laughter ] lets get to some news yesterday, President Trump was in california visiting the border wall. Construction workers said it was fun watching trump put on a hard hat over his hair hat [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause trump was there examining the wall and he said that it was virtually impenetrable [ light laughter ] yep, virtually impenetrable or as its also known penetrable. [ laughter ] the bridge is virtually safe. [ light laughter ] you can walk across, it is kind of safe. Actually one of the workers asked trump to sign the wall take a look at this. Theres a tradition here on the border that anyone who works on the wall, signs the wall for us. Sign it would you do that for us today . Ill sign it. Lets go jimmy and right where trump signed it has become a tourist attraction yeah people from mexico take a selfie in front of it before crossing the border. [ laughter and applause steve keep on truckin jimmy could we see what trump wrote on the for a good time call mike. Steve what jimmy oh thats not come on. Thats not thats not steve come on. Thats rude. Jimmy thats not cool. Steve thats not cool at all. Jimmy then trump talked about how the border wall will stop people from entering the country. Listen to this plus, its designed to absorb heat, so it is extremely hot. The wall is you wont be able to touch it you can you can fry an egg on that wall [ laughter ] [cheering and applause]. Jimmy and that and that is why im excited to announce the worlds first border wall omelet station. [ laughter and applause the wall the wall is so hot you cant touch it unless you are signing it with a sharpie apparently [ laughter ] while showing off the wall, trump asked the border agent to talk about the technology theyre using to stop people from crossing the border, but it didnt go as planned. Take a look at this. One thing we havent mentioned is technology. Theyre wired so that we will know if somebodys trying to break through. And you may want to discuss that a little bit, general sir, there could be some merit in not discussing that [ laughter ] okay. I like that. [ laughter and applause jimmy i know that i was just testing to see if you knew that. Of course i knew that. Duh. [ laughter ] meanwhile back in washington, trump is in the middle of a new scandal. A whistleblower has accused him of making a dangerous promise to a foreign leader. Now as of today, we dont know who that leader is it could be any foreign leader [ laughter ] we cant jump to any conclusions. Were just going to have to wait and see [ laughter and applause thats right trump is being accused of making secret promises to an unidentified foreign leader. Its been a rough week for trump. First, he wasnt named the next bachelor and now this. Steve aw [ laughter ] jimmy the first lady is busy too today, melania attended the Ribbon Cutting ceremony for the reopening of the washington monument, but she had a bit of trouble with the scissors. Take a look. [ cheers ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah turns out she accidentally grabbed eric and don jr. s safety scissors. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy thats what had at the time some tech news amazon Just Announced that you can now donate to 2020 candidates through alexa. But if you say, alexa, donate to bill de blasio, you hear flush your money down the toilet [ laughter and applause jimmy this isnt good. A new report found that jetblue and Spirit Airlines serve the dirtiest water on board. [ audience reacts jetblue was appalled while spirit was like, we got mentioned in the same sentence as jetblue . [ laughter ] people on jetblue knew something was wrong when a a passenger said, i ordered water, not coffee. And the Flight Attendant was like, that is water. [ laughter and applause guys, we have a good show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Sylvester stallone is here [ cheers and applause steve oh jimmy rambo steve come on. Jimmy cedric the entertainer is here [ cheers and applause steve oh jimmy and we have great standup comedy from mark normand, everybody. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy guys, you know what i love i love bumping into people and seeing an old friend it actually just happened to me when i was out having lunch. Check this out jimmy oh, im sorry. I didnt order that. Courtesy of the gentleman at the bar. [ cheers and applause [ light laughter ] [ whispering ] [ laughter ] courtesy of the gentleman at the table. [ light laughter ] [ light laughter ] a scorpion bowl with a steak, medium rare, courtesy of the gentleman at the bar [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] seafood tower, courtesy of the gentleman at the table [ applause ] a pyramid of ferrero rocher, courtesy of the gentleman at the bar. [ laughter and applause edible arrangement [ laughter and applause pancakes 30 hot dogs. [ laughter ] old coconut with mini hammer [ laughter ] a bucket of tater tots hardy sub. Red m m. Astronaut ice cream. Calcium chews. Toothpaste with orange juice cheese hibachi shrimp threetiered wedding cake. Im sorry, sir the kitchen is completely out of food. Well, i guess its the check then [ clink [ laughter ] courtesy of the gentleman at the window [ cheers and applause jimmy come on steve come on jimmy come on steve give it up jimmy who is better than that dude . Steve come on. Jimmy who is better than that dude . My thanks to brad pitt [ cheers and applause ad astra, his new movie opens nationwide tomorrow. He is getting good oscar buzz for that one as well i love brad. Today is my birthday, you guys so [ cheers and applause 45 45 today steve 45 jimmy i had a great day. I was thinking yesterday, i was on leaving work and i went online and i said, hey, if anyone wants to get me anything, here is what i really would like. I would like for you to post a a photo of you smiling or a video or a picture of you making someone else smile and smile. And just put it on there that would really make me happy, just because thats my whole thats my whole gig. I just want to see people smile. Thats all i care about. And everyone could do it, and [ cheers and applause it is free steve free jimmy you control it i mean, you can you know, even if you are having a great day, you can smile if you are having a bad day, you can just just do it steve yeah jimmy you can do it. It is up to you. You control it anyways, so many people did it, it was trending on twitter steve aw [ cheers and applause jimmy so it just really made my day. Steve happy birthday jimmy it was a great, special birthday thank you to anyone who did that it really made me so happy today. So today has been a great day. So thank you very much stick around we will be right back with thank you notes, everybody [ cheers and applause my insurance rates are probably gonna double. But dad, youve got allstate. With accident forgiveness they guarantee your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Smart kid. Indeed. Are you in good hands . Snow leopards are almost impossible to find, with ai we can protect what we cant see. But we need to know where they are, because they are threatened. Our camera traps allow us to have and eye in the mountains, taking thousands of pictures. 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[ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. It is the its the end of the week and thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff you know, i check any inbox, i return some emails. And, of course, i send out my thank you notes. I was running a bit behind today, so i thought if you guys wouldnt mind, id just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that okay [ cheers and applause thursday steve thursday jimmy thursday is when i write out my thank you notes steve yeah, thursday is thank you note day jimmy yes. Thats correct, it is. Yeah steve yeah jimmy james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please always in a good mood. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy hes always in a good mood steve it is like hes wishing you happy birthday with his eyes [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, ad astra, for looking like a a great scifi movie, but sounding like a new 24hour allergy medication [ laughter and applause steve ask your doctor about ad astra. Jimmy may cause sneezing [ light laughter ] thank you, sean spicers debut on dancing with the stars steve oh [ light laughter ] jimmy for looking like a a highlighter going through a midlife crisis. [ laughter and applause steve how about neon green jimmy what is going on steve god. Oh, my god [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, bernie sanders, saying hell release his medical records. Or, as bernie put it, and you thought the Mueller Report was long ive been alive since 1863 [ applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, people who say autumn instead of fall, for being the same people who wont stop talking about traveling abroad in barthelona [ laughter and applause come on. Steve come on. Jimmy barcelona. Oh, we had such a great time in barthelona. [ laughter ] thank you, 25th anniversary of the tv show friends [cheering and applause]. Or the 26th if youre counting that year that we were on a break [ cheers and applause steve nice call back jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] thank you, people singing the National Anthem at sporting events, for answering the question, what would it sound like to hear 30,000 people mumble the word rampart [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] whats a whats a rampart whats a rampart steve rampart jimmy do you know what a a rampart is stve its like a ramp that leads up to a battle ground. [ laughter ] jimmy no, that is not true steve what is it jimmy i do know what it is no, its for real. Steve is it part of a ramp a ramp part . Jimmy no [ light laughter ] rampart, one word. Oer the ramparts we watched. Steve right. Yeah, sure jimmy its a protective wall around a fort steve yes, it is usually at a raked angle. [ laughter ] jimmy thats true, but i mean [ laughter ] it changed steve to deflect canon shells jimmy yes, thats correct, but it steve you want to angle the wall to save jimmy yes. So are you saying it is a ramp steve a ramp a part of a ramp [ laughter ] i thought it was rampart first blood. [ laughter ] is that not it jimmy no thats just no, rambo last blood. Steve i just lost 10 grand [ laughter ] jimmy you got to start steve to james jimmy you got to stop gambling steve bet james 10 grand jimmy you bet james 10,000 . Steve yeah i feel like a fool [ laughter and applause jimmy thank you, President Trump, for holding a a rally in new mexico. Or as you would first put it, wait, theres a new mexico . [ laughter ] we have to build a wall now [ applause ] we have to build we have to build a rampart [ laughter ] we got to build a rampart. Steve a virtual rampart. Jimmy that fries eggs. [ laughter ] steve it is a virtual wall. Jimmy fries eggs and bacon. [ laughter ] [ sizzling ] very loud wall [ laughter ] a sizzling wall. [ laughter ] thank you, motion activated bathroom lights that randomly turn off, for making me feel like im landing a 747 with my pants around my ankles [ laughter and applause come on, turn it back on steve come on. You have to stand. Jimmy what was that . [ laughter ] thank you, restaurant check that show suggested tip amounts, for basically being a a multiple choice question that asks, how cheap are you . [ laughter ] thank you very much. Those are my thank you notes we will be right back with Sylvester Stallone [ cheers and applause i knew my son could be at risk of certain cancers later in life. From an infection, Human Papillomavirus i knew widespread hpv is and while hpv clears for most, that might not be the case for him. I knew his risk increases as he gets older. I knew a vaccine could help protect him at age 11 or 12, before he could be exposed. I knew so i talked to my childs doctor. Now that you know that hpv can lead to certain cancers, dont wait. Talk to your childs doctor today. man hey. N banjo . Go home. woman banjo sorry, it wont happen again. Come on, lets go home. After 10 years, weve covered a lot of miles. Good thing i got a subaru. man looks like you got out again, huh, banjo. avo love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. Could you email me the part great about geicon, tim. Making it easy to switch and save hundreds . Oh yeah, sure. Um. You dont know my name, do you . laughs nervously of course i know your name. I just get you mixed up with the other guy. Whats his name . Whats your name . Switch to geico®. You could save 15 or more on car insurance. Could you just tell me . I want this to be over. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is a a threetime oscarnominee starring in the new film rambo last blood, which hits theaters tomorrow. Please welcome the one, the only Sylvester Stallone. [ cheers and applause jmy weome back how are you thank you. Jimmy thank you. They love you. They love you. Come on. [ cheers and applause wow jimmy oh, my goodness. They love you. We love you. Welcome back oh. Jimmy you are a movie star, buddy. Come on. We gotta go crazy to see you come on. Thank you so much for coming back [ light laughter ] if you say so [ laughter ] jimmy i want to talk about rambo. But before we get into that, i want to talk about one of your other iconic characters, which is rocky. Mmhmm. Jimmy one of my [cheering and applause]. Will there be another rocky . I have an idea, you know. But, certainly im not boxing, unless im fighting arthritis or someone like that [ laughter ] come on, art come on, artie jimmy art art thritis [ laughter ] r. T. Ritis. No [ light laughter ] or boris cartoff jimmy yeah, yeah, you get carted off yes, so i was thinking about it i have an idea but then again, you have to think about it, is the pleasure worth the pain in other words, it takes so long to develop those films. It takes six months at just working on the choreography. If you really want to tell the story, because you are telling two movies at the same time. Jimmy uhhuh if youre doing a drama then you are doing a physical one with no words, but you have to tell a story in the fight too. So, its a very elaborate setup and you go, uhh jimmy but theres such a a big audience for it. Yeah. Jimmy i mean, still to this day. Which is kind of remarkable to tell you the truth. Especially when you see Young Children going, i want to thank you. I want to, like, be a boxer. I said, no, im not a boxer no, no. [ laughter ] do not do that. Jimmy im an actor i can yell cut. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah as right as they get this close. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy but you posted something on your instagram that i thought was really cute it was a little kid watching one of the rockys. Okay. Jimmy oh, well, lets take a look at this what you posted. Oh. [ laughter ] jimmy come on. That kid is cute [ cheers and applause i mean it is the greatest. You know what you know what it really reminded me, because that child and rocky both had a load in his pants when they were training [ laughter ] jimmy lets not do that. Yeah hes got to change his diaper, ye yo,t makeyou want to fight. Jimmy uh, but that see i think the bummer about you being in these movies, is that you dont get to see the movie that we all saw. cause, do you ever see a movie that inspirational and that motivational i loved these movies so much thats yes, thank you. Jimmy but youre in them so you dont get to appreciate no, cause you sit there. It is like everyone else, you know, youre very critical of yourself so, its very hard to sit back and just enjoy it. Youre going ugh. Jimmy youre cringing. Youre going, oh, yeah that well, you know, its the same thing we all do jimmy yeah well, not me [ laughter ] everyone but you. Jimmy everything i do is perfect. Yeah but i mean, i just remember watching i mean, i have seen every rocky. But i remember after rocky iii, i was Walking Around i had i didnt have a log, but i had a wiffle ball bat. [ laughter ] i had a wiffle ball bat and i going around my back yard doing, exercising trying to be you. Well, i picked it up from Rocky Marciano and, thanks to that particular move jimmy yeah, that was knees gone jimmy is that right . Oh, god, man. It looks good on film, but no. [ laughter ] jimmy just fantasy it really is, yeah. Leave it alone jimmy oh, i just saw in this article about, Henry Winkler was talking. He said that yeah. Jimmy did you hear about this he said, the role of fonzie he based off of you no. Jimmy is that . [ laughter and applause just, wow. No. [ cheers and applause i mean, no, no it was actually, henry and i did a film called lords of flatbush. [ cheer