[ laughter ] investigators are saying that the guards at the jail holding sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein may have been asleep at the time of his death worse, they were asleep in their beds at home [ laughter ] oh, we were supposed to stay there . [ light laughter ] politico has published an article about two College Students who have become popular deejays amongst Trump Supporters and go by the stage name, milk n cooks which is incidentally the secret Service Names for these two. [ laughter ] walmart has launched an investigation after a North Carolina mother found that the baby formula she purchased turned out to be flour she suspected it was flour after noticing changes in her baby [ laughter and applause no, he seems fine hes very happy. [ laughter ] yeah, no, you touch his belly button and he just giggles. [ light laughter ] the blog, vogueworld, posted an article yesterday entitled brad pitt proves that fedoras can actually be hot. Although i think a more accurate title would have been brad pitts hotness overcomes fedora. [ laughter ] Ohio State University has filed to trademark the word, the due to the inclusion in the schools formal name and the tradition of pro athletes referring to their alma mater as the Ohio State University. Said a judge, that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause the producers of star wars have announced theyre partnering with mattel to produce a new line of barbie dolls based on the movies. But they are creating unrealistic body standards for hutts. [ laughter ] i like a joke that i would have got in 1984. [ light laughter ] the band guns n roses has dropped a copyright lawsuit against a company that was selling a guns n rose beer, which is good news for the makers of sweet child o wine. [ laughter and applause and finally, a venomous threefootlong snake has now been missing from the bronx zoo for over a week. I havent seen him, said a cashier at the gift shop [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he is a very funny comedian and writer you know from saturday night live. You can see him at lugerfest here in new york later this month. Michael che is back, everybody [ cheers and applause shes the star of glow, currently in its third season on netflix. Alison brie is back, everyone. [ cheers and applause and we have a music we have music from a powerful miamibased rock band. Torche is here so its a greashow [ cheers and applause very excited to have you all before we get to our guests, the Trump Administration has announced a new rule that would limit Legal Immigration by imposing a wealth test for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth trump has many racist conspiracy theories about immigrants he thinks theyre being funded by shadowy groups. He thinks its a plot to invade america. And hes pretty sure at least one of his sons snuck in from transylvania [ laughter ] secret service, hes out of his coffin again. [ laughter ] trump also has this insane theory that other countries are somehow rigging the visa lottery system to put their worst people in the lottery hes repeated it many times, including at a rally earlier this month how about the lottery system . How about lotteries . You put the name in a basket the country puts the name in the basket and you pick people out of the lottery. Well, lets see. This ones a murderer. This one robbed four banks this one, id better not say this one, another murderer ladies and gentlemen, another murderer seth it sounds like hes picking his cabinet. [ laughter ] bank robber [ cheers and applause oh, a murderer oh, you guys you guys, we got a cannibal. [ laughter and applause but trump continued. Think of this, do you think theyre going to put their great citizens they have great citizens they have great people like we have great people. Do you think those people are going into a lottery no and then we get these people coming in. You just take a look, look at the people they put into these lotteries. Seth thats not how it works. Countries dont put people in the lotteries. [ light laughter ] people enter themselves. And its not murderers saying the police are closing in i better make my escape by entering a random drawing. [ laughter ] this is one of trumps favorite insane conspiracy theories and hes repeated it countless times throughout his presidency. They have a lottery you pick people. You think the countries are giving us their best people . No visa lottery visa lottery boom who is this . Who is this . And then when they turn out to be not so good, we say, i wonder why . Well, maybe the countries giving us their worst in those lotteries. Does that make any sense think of it, a lottery you pick people. Now let me ask you so these countries that are sending people in, do you think theyre sending us their finest . And then we wonder why we have problems were not going to be a stupid country anymore. Seth were still very much the stupid country [ laughter and applause stupid is our brand. Obama made us cool you made us stupid one of the other problems here is unlike more complicated terms, trump thinks he knows what a lottery is. So even though hes wrong, hes trying to flex his muscles im surprised he didnt just Start Talking about scratchoffs at some point. [ light laughter ] and they give you a card and you use a dime, ideally. Worst case, your thumb and you just start scratching. And if you get three matching flags, thats your new home. [ laughter ] thats how it works in a lottery [ applause ] a visa lottery. Trump feeds his supporters these racist conspiracy theories to make them think that undeserving immigrants are coming here and draining our public resources, which is a bigoted lie and now hes taking that lie one step further by implementing a new rule that will basically institute a wealth test in order to limit Legal Immigration a major policy change by the Trump Administration is trying to dramatically limit Legal Immigration into the u. S the socalled public charge rule would make it more difficult for people who are, again, here legally, but rely on some form of government assistance medicaid, food stamps, housing vouchers, some of the examples it would make it harder for them to get a green card. The new criteria favors wealthier, more educated immigrants the National Immigration law center calls the new rule a wealth test on immigrants. I dont think its fair to have the american taxpayer pay for people that come into the united states. I am tired of seeing our taxpayer paying for people that come into the country and immediately go onto welfare and various other things so i think were doing it right. Seth so now youre suddenly concerned about wasting taxpayers money youve already spent more than 100 million just on golf trips. [ light laughter ] and i have one more simple fix for this we dont need to stop paying for his golf, we just need to stop paying for his golf cart because just imagine how fast he would lose interest if he had to walk this sucks. [ laughter ] im gonna play a sport where you dont have to move so much like grass luge. [ laughter ] this is fundamentally antithetical to everything that america is supposed to stand for. In fact, that ethos is famously etched on the statue of liberty in the emma lazarus poem the new colossus. Yesterday trumps acting director of u. S. Citizenship and Immigration ServicesKen Cuccinelli was asked on npr about that poem and said this. Would you also agree emma lazaruss words etched on the statue of liberty, give me your tired, your poor, are also part of the american ethos they certainly are. Give me your tired and your poor who can stand on their own two feet and who will not become a public charge. Seth first of all, you cant just rewrite the poem. [ laughter ] especially a poem on a plaque. Once its on a plaque, its the thing. [ laughter ] the sign says no smoking. Not no smoking but also smoking. [ laughter ] second, you want them to stand on their own two feet . Trump cant stand on his two feet [ light laughter ] look at him. Hes like a drunk guy trying real hard to pretend hes sober. [ applause ] trump is doing this for two reasons one, hes a racist and racism is at the core of his immigration policy and two, he cant deliver on any of the other promises hes made to voters. Thats why his administration inflicts cruelty on desperate migrant families, like when they conducted the largest singlestate immigration raid in history last week and separated children from their parents. Meanwhile, he cant actually do anything to help the people he promised to help the socalled forgotten men and women of america, the working class he claimed he championed he told them hed fix everything and that it would be so easy you know, Like Health Care were going to get you something so good. So much less expensive so much better you know what its called . Its better and less expensive thats a good combination. Youre going to have such Great Health Care at a tiny fraction of the cost. And its going to be so easy seth as a general rule, never take advice from a guy in a camouflage hat with orange font because [ laughter ] its a weird choice. I mean, i get the orange, but not the words, you know . Youve never seen a hunter going into the woods in camo gear with bright orange writing that says i am a hunter. [ laughter ] now a universal Health Care System that guarantees health care as a human right is possible, as many industrialized nations and democrats running for president have shown but trump made the promise without having any clue what he was talking about. And then, of course, once it came time to come up with an actual plan, like any con artist, he tried to talk in circles until people forgot what hed promised. This will be a plan where you can choose your doctor this will be a plan where you can choose your plan and you know what the plan is . This is the plan [ laughter ] seth oh, my god. He always sounds like hes playing taboo and he cant think of a second clue thats not [ laughter and applause like, uh, its a plan, like a plan a plan its a plan. You know, a plan [ buzzing the word was plan. I was cheating [ laughter ] i was cheating the whole time. Then there was trumps promise to save manufacturing jobs during a stop in ohio two years ago, he told residents he would single handedly save their manufacturing plants in fact, hlirally told the people at his rally who were worried about losing their jobs not to move. I rode through your beautiful roads coming up from the airport and i was i was looking at some of those big, once incredible, job producing factories. And my wife, melania, said, what happened . I said, those jobs have left ohio. Theyre all coming back. Theyre all coming back. [ cheers and applause coming back. Dont move dont sell your house. Dont sell your house. Seth if donald trump, a man who has gone bankrupt six times and is infamous for some of the biggest real estate disasters in history tells you dont sell your house, sell your house. [ laughter and applause trump is trump is the kind of guy who would tell people during a tornado, you definitely want to be by a window [ laughter ] be by a window so you can see it sometimes they have cows inside. [ laughter ] once again, youll never guess what happened. A plant nearby in lordstown closed in march. Then when the cruel reality of trumps empty promises came crashing down on the workers he promised to help, all trump could do was offer a useless tweet. And once again, he clearly had no idea how to deliver on his promise. Just spoke to mary barra, ceo of general motors, about the lordstown, ohio plant. I am not happy that it is closed when Everything Else in our country is booming i asked her to sell it or do something quickly. She blamed uaw u i dont care i just want it open. Seth hey, ass[ bleep ] you told them not to sell their homes. A tweet whining that youre not happy isnt good enough. Its like if your buddy told you invest everything you have in bitcoin and then when it crashed sent you a text that was just a dollar emoji and a surprise face [ laughter ] also what do you mean, i asked her to do something . Do what . Youre the guy who said you were going to save the jobs youre supposed to have the ideas. Like a plumber who shows up and takes a look at your toilet then just screams, unclog [ laughter ] and by the way, that plant in ohio is far from alone in fact, just two weeks ago, gm idled another plant in michigan, which might come as a shock to people who were at these trump rallies in michigan in 2016. Ive been saying your car industry is being sucked away from michigan. Its happening if im elected, you wont lose one plant. Youll have plants coming into this country youre going to have jobs again. You wont lose one plant i promise you. [ cheers and applause i promise you. So all i say is this, you want to build your plant in mexico, have a great time. But if you think youre going to ship your product across the border, which will be a very strong border, by the way. For no tax, no nothing so we end up with unemployment, and we end up with empty plants and factories. And you end up with the money, the jobs, and the plants you can forget it. And you know what would happen if you said that right upfront, nobodys leaving, folks. You stop it right away the politicians dont want to say that, because most of them are too stupid to even understand it. Seth they are too stupid dude, youre too stupid to spell the word country, your wifes name, and your own name. [ laughter and applause i mean, imagine if this guy tried meeting his own immigration standards. He has no discernible skills, lost a billion dollars, and cant spell his own name hed flunk the citizenship test before he even got to the first question [ laughter ] trump inflicts cruelty on desperate migrants fleeing poverty and violence, because first, hes a racist, and racism is at the core of his ideology and second, hes failed at literally Everything Else hes promised to do you need a plan to expand health care, save manufacturing jobs. You cant just do it by tweeting or yelling at people, but trump is too stupid to even understand it seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with michael che, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Tmobiles newest signal reaches farther than ever before. With more engineers. More towers. More coverage its a network that gives you freedom from big cities, to small towns, were with you. 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Schools are having acrto cut sports. Y, im tony the tiger and im on a mission to fix that. Bring back the tigers. Your mighty, mighty tigers. [cheering sounds] buy a box and help all kids be tigers. Seventh generation gets the laundry detergent from plants, not petroleum. And this stuff beets stains. Its kind of a big dill. It squashes sixty of your toughest stains. Seventh generation. Powered by plants someday i will see the world. [ growling ] ah there are people looking for you. We have to go. I dont know where you came from, but you dont belong here. You can do magic . This is impossible. This is amazing get them i promise to take care of him. When yi sets her mind on something nothing is impossible. [ cheers a applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause joining us on drums this evening, hes a twotime grammynominated artist, producer, and composer from new york city. This fall you can check him out on tour with Brittany Howard for tour dates and more, head on over to natesmithmusic. Com nate smith is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being here, nate. Our first guest tonight is an emmynominated writer and comedian who is the cohead writer of saturday night live. Hes currently on his liberal but gangster tour [ light laughter ] and will be performing at lugerfest on august 29th at brooklyn steel please welcome back to the show our good friend, michael che [ cheers and applause whoa. Jimmy welcome back, buddy. Hi. Seth how are you [ cheers and applause im good. Seth you youve been on the road this summer youve been doing doing your tour yeah. Seth is it fun i like when you said liberal but gangster everyone kind of snickered. [ light laughter ] it is a dumb name for a tour [ laughter ] i just dont like that liberals are considered like weak and stuff. You know its like synonymous now you cant just be liberal, but also a little gangster seth yeah. [ light laughter ] so this is your way of saying, like, its not dont think of this as a fully safe space yeah, and also im not really that liberal [ laughter ] seth i will say, like, of the two, thats the one where im like, umm [ laughter ] i just want white people to come to the shows. [ laughter and applause seth is it working so far . Is it its working. Its pretty good seth thats good its good seth do you like the places youve been going . Yeah, we went to were going to seattle this week but ive been to like, chicago and austin seth great yeah, you know. Seth thats good good comedy towns. Austin austin was fun, but it was very hot. Seth yeah. It was like 105 degrees it was like white africa [ laughter ] like the worst place seth its about time white people had their own africa. Yeah, they gentrified africa. I thought it was just us seth you have you we got debates coming up in september. Yeah. Seth and soon this will be for snl to handle. Have you watched