Musical guests the war on drugs, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 807, ontario steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, goodness thank you very much i love you looking good welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show this is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] this is it youre here, you made it thank you. Heres what everyone is talking about, you guys. Good news. It looks like the Government Shutdown is over. [ cheers and applause ] they shut it down, and they started it back up. [ laughter ] nice to know trumps plan for fixing the government is the same as fixing a windows computer. [ laughter and applause ] did you try unplugging it . Wait ten seconds. [ laughter ] even though the government is open again, Congress Still has to reach a longterm budget agreement. And one of the problems that democrats, republicans, and the white house all seem to want different things. Here, ill show what i mean. For example, democrats want the c. H. I. P. Program to be funded. Republicans want Mexican Border security. Trump wants chips and a bowl of salsa. [ laughter and applause ] you see . Steve wow. Jimmy they want different things. Steve different things. Jimmy democrats want to support lgbtq rights. Republicans want to support nra positions. Trump wants to support dq, bk and kfc. [ laughter and applause ] next, democrats want legal weed. Republicans want improved relations with russia. Trump wants everyone to smoke their legal weed and forget about the russia investigation. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, democrats want to fight Climate Change and severe storms. Republicans want to support jeff sessions. Trump wants another session with stormy daniels. Steve really . [ laughter and applause ] heyoh [ cheers ] woo wall. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is nice. Some members of congress donated their salaries to charity during the shutdown. A few members of the house even spoke up about the issue. Check out what they had to say. First, congressman billy long said, giving up our salaries was the least we could do. Im just glad the shutdown wasnt too well, my last name. [ laughter ] and andy bar said, if i lost any more money i would have spent every night at the well, my last name. [ laughter ] congressman ted bud was like, i was so stressed out, i sat back and smoked some well, my last name. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, congresswoman anna eshoo [ laughter ] said, the shutdown was unfortunate, but, oh, i think im going to sneeze ahha my last name [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] another big story here. Saturday was the Second Annual womens march. Thousands of women [ cheers and applause ] thousands of women held signs protesting the president. But trump was like, jokes on you. I cant read. [ laughter and applause ] lets get to some sports here. Last night the eagles moved on to the super bowl. [ cheers and applause ] wow, wow, wow, wow. The eagles moved on to the super bowl after beating the vikings 387. [ cheers ] last time someone got beat up that bad in philadelphia, he had to move in with his auntie and uncle in belair. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] also, the new England Patriots advance to the super bowl. [ cheers and applause ] [ booing ] jimmy but did you see this . It looked like one of the referees was actually celebrating with the patriots after the game. Did you see that . When asked if the game was rigged, the ref said [ in russian accent ] no, was completely normal game of american football. [ laughter and applause ] i dont know what hes doing. A lot of people were talking about this. Kim kardashian and kanye west named their newborn daughter chicago west. Sounds less like a baby and more like something that would air on thursdays at 10 00 p. M. On nbc. [ applause ] next on chicago west get back here [ laughter ] thats the referee. He got a spinoff show. Steve wow. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is going viral. You guys know the cantina song from star wars . [ cheers ] yeah. Well, a woman posted a video online where she does a cover of the song, only using a a pencil and paper while solving a math equation. Now listen to the pencil. Its pretty amazing. Watch this. Jimmy not bad, right . [ applause ] steve wow jimmy isnt that cool . Isnt that cool . That was awesome. Well, the video is actually inspiring lots of other people to make their own cantina covers. I wasnt so sure about this one, though. Take a look at this. Doot do doot do doo doot do bing bing bang bang boom boom doot do doot do doo doot do bong bong shut up Bing Bing Bing doot do doot do hello bing bing buhbuh buh buhbuh buh Bing Bing Bong dat we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] fly eagles fly on the road to victory fly eagles fly score a touchdown one two three one, two three hit em low hit em high and watch our eagles fly fly eagles fly on the road to victory Eagles Eagles [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my god. Someones excited that the eagles are in the super bowl. Thank you very much, roots. [ cheers ] you were there yesterday, right . Questlove we were there. Jimmy you were at the game. Questlove we were there. Jimmy was it exciting . Questlove it was amazing. Jimmy yeah, it was amazing. Did you play the halftime . Questlove we played the halftime, yeah. Jimmy thats fantastic. Congratulations, man. Oh, my god. Questlove thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to be there questlove were going to be there. Jimmy were going to be there. Well go to minneapolis. Well be at the super bowl. We have a big show that night. Guys, welcome to the tonight show. Its monday, were very happy to be back. We have an incredible week of shows coming up. Alex rodriguez will be here. Will ferrell will be here. [ cheers and applause ] icet and Chelsea Handler will all be stopping by. Plus well have performances from bebe rexha featuring florida georgia line. [ cheers and applause ] and also migos will be here. But first, we have a big show tonight. From the new amazon series phillip k. Dicks electric dreams, greg kinnear is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] funny dude. Also from the Netflix Series frontier, jason momoa is here. [ cheers and applause ] jacked. Steve jacked. Jimmy just hes a stud. Were going to talk to jason, then he and i are facing off in a water war. Steve ooh. [ cheers ] jimmy hes aqua man. Steve come on, you gotta. Jimmy we have to do it, yeah. Guys, and we have great music from the war on drugs. They are here tonight. Its gonna be really good. [ cheers and applause ] guys, i read something that really disturbed me recently. American steve whats that . Jimmy whats that . Steve what did you read . Jimmy really disturbed me. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy American Kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. Steve oh. Jimmy yeah. Nobody seems to know how to turn this thing around. I think the problem is that todays kids just cant relate to Old Fashioned things, like numbers. Steve oh. [ light laughter ] jimmy so we have updated math to make the equations about stuff modern kids can relate, to in a segment called popular mathematics. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] popular Mathematics Education and equations Division Multiplication radius circumference pi five times five is twentyfive calculus and calculator math teacher is educator angle table charts and graphs its time for popular math popular mathematics mathematics [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] steve what is that about . cause the eagles won . Jimmy do we have to go to a a commercial now . Do we have time to do the bit . Oh, my gosh. That was not bad. They know thats my favorite jam, yeah. But do you understand this idea . Steve i do not. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, look. Ill give you an example. Heres our first equation. If you take the emmys minus plastic surgery, it equals the s. A. G. Awards. [ laughter and applause ] do you see what im doing . Steve no. Jimmy all right. Let me give you another example. If you take jeff sessions, plus one finger, it equals fingerlings. [ laughter and applause ] let me give you another steve i understand the words, but jimmy heres another example. Steve all right, one more. Jimmy going to work hung over times 1. 5 Million People equals philadelphia this morning. [ cheers and applause ] steve hey mathematics jimmy if you take a a blizzard steve blizzard jimmy plus daniel craig, plus daniel radcliffe, plus daniel day lewis, it equals stormy daniels. [ laughter ] [ applause ] do you understand . Steve i dont know jimmy let me give another one. If you take johnny depp steve johnny depp. Jimmy plus a couple months of squats. Steve yep. Jimmy it equals pirates booty. [ laughter and applause ] delicious. Steve the food . Jimmy and nutritious. Steve yeah. Jimmy if you take willem dafoe. Steve yes. Jimmy plus getting to know willem dafoe, it equals willem dafriend. [ laughter and applause ] i got you with that one, man steve how are you doing math . Jimmy you should have seen your face on that one, man. Classic. Steve yeah. Jimmy classic, man. Steve yeah, i like willem dafriend. Hes a friend of yours. Jimmy let me give you another one here. Steve please do. [ light laughter ] jimmy strangers. Steve strangers. Jimmy minus towels. Steve yes. Jimmy equals the locker room at my gym. [ laughter ] steve heyoh jimmy too much. Finally, if you take taco bell nachos supreme, plus a tennis court steve oh my god, this is wrong. Jimmy plus justice league, plus a baby ruth, plus fishing bait, plus tanqueray, plus an iceberg, it equals Supreme CourtJustice Ruth Bader ginsburg. [ applause ] ginsburg. Ginsburg. Steve ginsburg . Jimmy thats all the time we have for popular mathematics. [ cheers and applause ] well be back with greg kinnear, everybody stick around do you understand now . [ cheers and applause ] popular Mathematics Education and equations Division Multiplication radius circumference pi five times five is twentyfive calculus and calculator sometimes we imagine things far worse than they truly are. But we, er, take a deep breath and do our taxes with turbotax. Now a cpa can review your return with you, am i getting my maximum refund . I checked it, maam. Youre good to go. See, nothing to be afraid of at all. Hello . Intuit turbotax. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. New year, new phones for the family. Join tmobile, and when you buy one of the latest samsung phones get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. Plus, unlimited family plans come with netflix included. So, you can watch all your netflix favorites on your new samsung phones. Join the uncarrier and get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. All on americas best unlimited network. The los gatos unified school board voted behind closed doors to terminate the district superintendent. The board has yet to reveal why she is being let go. And on our homepage grammywinning singer and songwriter, neil diamond, says he is retiring from touring. Diamond made the announcement, after being diagnosed with parkinson s disease. He turns 77 on wednesday. More news in one hour. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an Academy Award and golden globenominated actor, starring in an episode of the new anthology series, philip k. Dicks electric dreams. Which is available now on amazon prime video. Please welcome, greg kinnear [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is some love. That is some love for greg kinnear. Welcome back to the show. Jason momoa is coming up shortly. Did you challenge him to something . Jimmy yeah. He faxed hes going to crush you, man. Jimmy i know, and im frightened. Im scared. I know. That guys huge. Jimmy have you ever met anyone like him . The hand is up to my elbow. Jimmy ive met his kids, too. His son has a really strong stronger than my handshake. Yeah. Jimmy i was like, yeah. Just a beautiful specimen of a a human. [ laughter ] all right, take it easy. Jimmy all right, sorry. Speaking of that. Welcome back to the show. Thank you very much. Jimmy there you are. Good to be here. Jimmy i want to hear a a story, tell me if its true or not, involving you and rihanna. Uh yes. Jimmy you know what im talking oh, i know what youre talking about. [ light laughter ] well, you have you have kids, right . You have daughters. Jimmy absolutely. I have two little girls. Okay, i have three daughters. So i think my kids are a little older than yours. Theyre at that stage where if when dropping them off at school i could just keep the car moving. They would they would opt for that, right . Or a bag over my head, anything. Very, you know that kind of awkward stage where they dont want to be seen. Jimmy exactly. So i thought i i thought the coolest moment of alltime had happened recently when rihanna riri [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Wow. She actually jimmy yeah, wow. She called me up and wanted to use a song that i had recorded in a movie a few years ago. The Academy Award winning, stuck on you. Jimmy it won a record 35 oscars i dont remember the number, jimmy. [ laughter ] but at any rate, we had a song in there that i had actually recorded. It was based on billy stewarts summertime. It was a pretty cool rendition. But she had heard it. The only person thats ever heard it. And rihanna calls okay, you caught me in a lie. Her lawyer calls my lawyer. Jimmy that makes more sense. Now the story makes more sense, yeah. And says can and asked whether or not they could use a a piece of the song in a song she was doing. Jimmy a sample. Yeah, like is that what they a sample, a mishy mash or whatever the term. I dont know the term. I dont know, youre in the music business. I dont know. Jimmy a mishy mash. Yeah, thats right. So she wants to mishy mash it into something shes doing, and im like, well this is good. Because then the girls are going to know im doing a song with rihanna, and suddenly i dont know if im the loser dad any more. Jimmy this might be the coolest dad ever. Yeah, right. So i was really excited about it. And said, you know, how much is she willing to pay me. And my lawyer said nothing. And i said weve got a deal. [ laughter ] and jimmy sounded good. Sounded good. So at any rate, she ended up using it. And i you know, i dropped the kids off at school one day, and literally get the link of the song that she has recorded. And i dont know what my expectation was for the song. But, you know, rihanna, great musician. Some of the songs can be a a little racy. Jimmy sure. [ laughter ] what was the song . Well, the song is called cockiness. Thats all right. Jimmy so far we got away with it, yeah. [ light laughter ] so the first lyrics are suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion. Jimmy okay. [ laughter ] this is this reminds my lower back tattoo, im getting next week. [ laughter ] persuasion. Yeah, thats good. Its gonna take cost an extra 50. I want you to be my jimmy i dont know. You get the idea, right . So its the song jimmy lick my cockiness its the song that never can be played for my kids is the bottom line. So im still the awkward dad. Odd man out unfortunately, but it is, and she did actually, theyre recording with it, so i got a little im a little mishy mash in there. Jimmy all right, so you have some a little street cred. But then, thats all you need. Yeah. Jimmy do you golf, still, because i do. Jimmy i heard that you golf. Yeah. You told me that you golf. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] why is that funny . I dont know. I was honestly like i surprised. [ laughter ] jimmy why . I dont know. Honestly, its not like im like, whoa i dont know what my expectation is for a golfer, but i just i just you surprised me. [ laughter ] im surprised to hear that. Jimmy what would you think i would do . What frisbee . [ laughter ] something involving a frisbee . Is that what you see me doing . No, i just it seemed like golf could be distracting for you. I would envision you, you know, like its like, you got a its like chess for four hours. You dont seem i dont know. You just dont seem like a a golfer to me. [ laughter ] youre probably a great golfer. Jimmy im taking this the right way. As a compliment. I know, but i just dont i dont know what i envisioned for a golfer. But i just when they told me that, i was surprised. Jimmy im fine. Im normal. I play by the rules. Youre a physical specimen. Its not about that. Its just that i didnt anticipate maybe because i just never heard it. Are you good . [ laughter ] jimmy no, im terrible. Okay, well, i am too jimmy youre terrible, as well . Im really not very good. Jimmy oh, i heard the opposite. Well, no, thats not true. Jimmy well, i heard that you got a hole in one. Well, thats true. [ laughter ] jimmy you got a hole in one . I did. Yeah, i got a hole in one. I got one one hole in one in my whole life. Jimmy i would just start crying. Yeah. Well, i did. I got a little choked up. Jimmy did you call everybody . Well, you know, after you had a hole in one, you do ask people a lot if theyve had a a hole in one. I didnt used to care. But now its like, you had a a hole in one. Have you ever had one . Jimmy no. Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy that is the worst that is the absolute worst. Wow. Thats cool. Jimmy yeah, thats cool. I want to talk about this new electric dreams. Philip k. Dick, this guy a a scifi writer. I know a couple of his books. I mean there ive only gotten through the first chapter. Lets be honest. [ light laughter ] too busy golfing. [ laughter ] you golf . Jimmy you read . You dont look like a reader. [ laughter ] yes, i read. I know how to read. I read books i love books mama, dada. You know, those types of books. [ laughter ] but this is a this is based on a short stories. Yeah. He wrote really interesting stuff. My versions jimmy youre in episode seven. Its called the father thing . Yeah. Which basically is what happens if the person you love the most, in this case, its an 11yearold boy. What happens if your father, his father, is something that he doesnt believe him to jimmy are you an alien . Im an alien. Jimmy okay, good. Just say it. Just say it. [ laughter ] so youre basically an alien. Yeah. Jimmy spoiler alert. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, exactly. Jimmy wow, so what would you do if youre a kid and you found your dad yeah, so hes 11yearsold and hes finding out this incredible thing and its kind of the machinations of the story. And the kid is fantastic and it was great fun to do. J