Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171213

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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 788! british columbia! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. oh, my goodness. that's a crowd right there. that is a great new york city crowd. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. you're watching. thank you very much. well, here's what -- here's what people are talking about. today was the big alabama senate election, and as promised, roy moore rode his horse to the polls. [ light laughter ] it got weird when people said, "can we vote for the horse? " [ laughter and applause ] and you go, "no, he's riding the horse." so he rode the horse in. and get this, the horse that moore rode was named sassy. [ light laughter ] what doesn't say "i'm innocent" like a 70-year-old man riding a a horse name sassy? [ laughter and applause ] "you girls wanna see a horse? you wanna meet sassy?" [ laughter ] everybody's talking about this. last night roy moores's wife tried to defend him against bigotry claims by saying, quote, "one of our attorneys is a jew." [ audience oohs ] so happy first night of hanukkah, everyone. [ laughter and applause ] isn't that great? happy hanukkah. isn't that great? wow. another speaker told a story about how moore once left a a brothel, because he thought the girls looked too young. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] you know things are bad when even the good stories about you involve prostitution. [ laughter and applause ] "i would never. i have standards! [ light laughter ] no way! c'mon, sassy, let's go. [ laughter ] off to the american girl doll store." [ laughter and applause ] listen to this, guys. i read that vladimir putin gets daily reports of trump's tweets. every day putin reads them and goes, "my god, what have i done? [ laughter and applause ] what have i -- oh, my goodness." speaking of tweets, trump got in a twitter fight with senator kirsten gillibrand over his sexual assault allegations. just this week he insulted a a senator, endorsed roy moore, and called 20 women liars. it's like he saw his approval rating was 32 and said, "i bet i can get it under 30 by the weekend. [ laughter and applause ] give me a -- give me something to tweet on! c'mon, sassy. c'mere, girl." a horse that tweets. check this out. "star wars: the last jedi" is expected to make over $425 million by sunday. [ cheers and applause ] you can tell they're making a a lot of money, because today yoda endorsed the republican tax plan. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. "it's great." this is kind of crazy. i read that people are actually taking out mortgages to buy bitcoin, because they think it's such a solid investment. then they put on their sketcher shape-ups, and went out to buy some dippin' dots. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. "the pounds are melting off. pounds are melting off. hold on a second, the pounds are great. no one can even tell i'm wearing these. i'm losing so much weight. you don't know what this is -- it's me. i just lost a lot of weight." [ light laughter ] no you didn't, that's a scam. all right. finally, this made me laugh. did you see this "jeopardy" contestant? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: a "jeopardy" contestant last night was very, very aggressive when it came to using his clicker to buzz in. you won't even -- he's the guy on the left, like you need to know. but watch. check this out. >> lakedra. >> what's a shih tzu? >> charlie. >> what is wales? >> lakedra. >> who is thumper? >> lakedra. >> what is monticello? [ laughter ] >> charlie. >> who is frank lloyd wright? >> lakedra. >> who is betsy ross? >> lakedra. >> what is hokkaido? [ laughter ] >> charlie? >> who is the great pumpkin? >> charlie. >> what are the great smoky mountains? >> lakedra. >> what is folic acid? >> charlie? [ applause ] >> jimmy: can you give me the clicky thing? lakedra. what is too much red bull? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but he -- poor ben, ben, yeah. he finally got called on. let's that a look at how that went. >> ben. >> who is data? >> no. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter and applause ] that's right. he finished with zero dollars and carpal tunnel. there you go, everybody. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! thank you so much. before we start the show, a a couple of things. first of all, i want to say congratulations to the roots. today -- [ cheers and applause ] they won an african-american film critics award for best song for their song "it ain't fair." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ on the "detroit" soundtrack. that is what i'm talking about. yeah. why not, man, milk it? that was fantastic. congratulations. that's got to feel good. >> questlove: thank you. >> jimmy: i told you when you first -- when it first came out, i couldn't believe this is a new song. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: because you took it to like a motown -- it's just -- >> questlove: very vintage. >> jimmy: and bilal is fantastic on this song. you guys performed it on here. if you haven't seen it, go on youtube and look for "it ain't fair" by the roots. and it is unbelievable. congratulations. well deserved. that's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] the "detroit" soundtrack. check it out, everybody. well done. oh, yeah. also i'm doing this cool thing. i want to remind everyone that tomorrow, i will be on facebook live and instagram live doing a a live reading of my children's book, "everything is mama" to kids. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, it's going to be a fast read. it's going to be very -- [ laughter ] it's about a 30 second read. >> steve: in and out. >> jimmy: it depends on your internet connection. [ light laughter ] no, but basically, i thought it would be cool to just read to kids because gosh, i think reading is cool. and i think they should know that. so we put out a press release to all teachers out there. preschools and librarians, and parents. anyone who has a kid who wants me to read -- even people that don't have kids, you want me to read to you? i can do it. [ laughter ] i'm going to do it. it's tomorrow. if you go to @jimmyfallon on instagram, or @fallontonight on facebook, either one. you type in those names, and i'll be streaming live at 9:15 a.m. eastern time, and then i'm going to do it at 12:15 p.m. eastern time for the kids on the west coast, so they get some love, too. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited to do this. maybe ten minutes, something fun to do. why not do it? use social media for something good. i'm psyched about that. that's tomorrow, so check that out. also, i think, the website, if you go to everythingismama, you get coloring book pages you can just print out. it's free. give the kids something to do, and check it out. >> steve: have them color. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, just read. it's really good to read to kids. [ cheers and applause ] guys, we have a fantastic show tonight. from the new movie "film stars don't die in liverpool", annette bening is here. [ cheers and applause ] the one and only annette bening. woo, she knows how to do it. plus, we love it when this guy stops by. his netflix stand-up special, "judd apatow: the return" came out today. judd apatow is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: doing stand-up. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: judd apatow on netflix, love that. plus she is nominated for five grammy awards, more than any other female performer. including best new artist and "time" magazine named her debut album "control" album of the year. we have music from sza tonight, ladies and gentlemen. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] it's great. >> jimmy: it's a good show. guys, we have exactly nine shows left before we go on christmas break. which means it is time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it is time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. let's go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 12 days of christmas sweaters nine days left ♪ >> jimmy: that is right. nice to see you. every show between now and christmas, we'll be giving one lucky audience member a a gorgeous christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. now, since there are nine shows left, let's open door number -- that's right, nine. [ cheers ] [ drum roll ] hold on, hold on. ooh! ♪ [ applause ] ooh. [ cheers and applause ] ooh. this has got some heft. this has got some heft to it. it's got some doily 3-d thing happening here. a 3-d christmas sweater. look at this. oh, my goodness. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, yeah, feel the love. [ cheers and applause ] that is exactly where the heart is located. the lower back. [ light laughter ] now let's see who is going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. if i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] [ cheers and applause ] who wants me to pick their number? it's a good one! 227, baby! ♪ 227. hey, get over here. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing, pal? hey, welcome! there you are on tv right now. what is your name and where are you from? >> samka. i'm from holland. >> jimmy: samka from holland. fantastic. >> yeah! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do we air in holland? our show airs in holland? >> no. >> jimmy: no, of course. [ laughter ] okay, well -- do you have any idea who i am or what you're watching -- >> yeah, i have. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> that's why i'm here. >> jimmy: okay, perfect, yeah. i'm gonna say, "hi i'm justin timberlake. nice to meet you." >> nice to meet you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in holland, it gets a a little chilly, right? it gets cold? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: do you have anything like this at all? >> no. >> jimmy: wait, oh my goodness -- >> now i have. >> jimmy: wait, it makes noise. >> yeah. it's nice. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. all right, would you like to try it on, samka? >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: all right, here you go. here. ♪ yeah, yeah, i can take the microphone. >> okay, great. >> jimmy: there you go. you can leave that on. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] in holland they have different rules, apparently, but yeah. samka, you're gonna look great in this. oh, my -- oh my, look at this. [ cheers and applause ] like a supermodel. look at that, perfect. this is -- every kid is gonna be wearing this sweater. samka, thank you so much! congratulations! come back, you get free stuff here. >> okay, i will. >> jimmy: i wanna thank our lucky audience member. stick around. we'll be right back with the premier of our new teen drama. "peanuts riverdale." take it out. we're almost there. here we go. 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(scrappy barks) (amanda) he was totally freaked out, digging and pawing at me. and when i woke up i realized that i was in anaphylaxis and went to the emergency room. i don't know what i would do if he wasn't there. he's the best boy. (vo) through the subaru share the love event, we've helped the ascpa save nearly forty thousand animals so far. get a new subaru and we'll donate two hundred fifty dollars more to help those in need. (amanda) ♪ put a little love in your heart. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back and thank you so much for watching the show. if you guys know me, you know i love the show "riverdale." [ cheers and applause ] you love it too? i'm obsessed with it, it's one of my favorite shows. it's got everything i want. it has murder. [ light laughter ] teen angst, drama. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: classic cartoon characters from the archie comics. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: everything i -- it's a great show. seriously, i love it -- i love all the cameos. i love luke perry. i love skeet. you get just enough skeet in there. i don't want to ruin anything. the perfect amount of skeet. that's the secret to a a successful show. >> steve: a little mesquite. >> jimmy: yeah, you get a a little skeet in there, he's fantastic. molly ringwald's showing up. whaat? spoiler, but yeah, you heard it. >> steve: what?! >> jimmy: it's happening right now, i just love this show so much. and the cast is great, and everyone is brooding and cool and young and fun. anyways, it's a giant, giant hit for cw. they love it. it's the biggest thing on their network, they love it. and they've now decided to reboot another famous comic strip. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: we actually have a a sneak peek of it. we'd like to show you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy "peanuts." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> our town presents itself like so many other small towns -- safe, decent, innocent. get closer, though. you start to see the shadows underneath. >> guys, guys, check it out. charlie's going to kick the football. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> you're not going to take that football away, are you, luce? >> you're just gonna have to trust me, charlie. [ dog barking ] >> snoopy, i got this. >> oh! [ laughter ] >> this is definitely going on instagram. >> lucy! schroeder! >> peppermint patty, marcie, what's wrong? >> it's linus. >> peppermint patty and marcie had gone to the pumpkin patch to wait for the great pumpkin. but what they found was linus van pelt, cold, alone, and anything but great. [ laughter ] >> good grief. [ cheers and applause ] >> i can' believe my idiot brother is dead. >> don't worry lucy, we've got a plan. >> you have a video of the killer? >> online forensic evidence? >> even better -- i wrote a a song about it. check it out. ♪ ♪ linus is dead and we're all really sad ♪ ♪ >> wow, charlie, that song is, like, uh, so good. >> you're not going to perform it at the fall formal, are you? >> that's a great idea. thanks, schroeder. >> what up buttholes? >> hey. >> what are you skidmarks crying about? that loser linus? that guy was gross. [ coughing ] [ laughter ] bee tee dubs, chuck. miss othmar wants to see you. says it's super urge. ♪ [ school bell ringing ] >> miss othmar? it's me, charlie. we need to talk. what we did this summer was wrong. you're a teacher, i'm a a student. >> wah wah wah wah wah wah. [ laughter ] >> but we were in the pumpkin patch when linus was killed. we have to tell someone. >> wah wah wah wah wah wah. >> you are so turning me on right now. >> charlie brown! how could you? >> lucy, wait! lucy, come back! [ laughter ] >> my brother is dead and you're making out with some teacher? >> it's not what you think. >> i heard what you said. you were there the night linus died. >> you have -- i'm sorry. can you just back up like a a foot? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> just give me a little -- >> you were there that night. you need to stop acting like such a blockhead and tell everyone the truth. we're not little kids anymore, charlie brown. we're 16 years old. >> yes, we're both 16 years old. [ laughter ] >> i don't have time for this. have fun at your stupid dance. i'm outta here. ♪ [ laughter ] >> hey, franklin. >> oh, hey, charlie brown. what's wrong? >> my best friend is dead, his sister hates my guts, and i'm having an affair with my teacher. you now, the uge. i wrote a song about it, you want to hear it? ah, it's pretty cool. >> nope. ♪ ♪ linus is dead and >> rats. >> look, charlie brown, moping around about linus won't bring him back. you got to keep living your life, man. >> thanks, franklin. that's what i needed to hear. now, let's get to that fall formal. we got a show to put on. >> why am i the only black person in this town? [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ >> guys? [ microphone feedback ] guys? look -- i know it's been a rough eight hours, but -- we don't know who killed linus. but i swear that we won't stop until we find out who did it. as long as we've got each other, and my music, i think we're going to be okay. now let's turn things up a a notch. [ "linus and lucy" playing ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> they danced all through the night, trying their best to regain the innocence they had lost. but little did they know, things would never be the same, because under the surface, this town was nuts. [ cheers and applause ] >> what are they doing? is that, like, dancing? >> this is very weird. >> crazy. so crazy, i actually just wrote a song about it. do you guys want to hear it? >> no. >> no! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kj apa, lili reinhart, camila mendes, madelaine petsch, and cole sprouse. we'll be right back with annette bening, ladies and gentlemen. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh, you're the best. welcome back to the show, first of all. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you got some good dance moves in the movie but i'll get to that. >> all right. >> jimmy: thank you for being here again, and i want to say also congratulations to -- you're married for 25 years? >> that's right. >> jimmy: to warren beatty. you and warren. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey! >> 25 years. >> jimmy: 25 years. >> and my parents have been married 67 years. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ can you imagine? >> can you believe it? >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: what are you going to do for the holidays? do you have big plans, you and warren? >> we have a big thanksgiving with all of my family, extended family. my husband's very nice about that. so we have a big thanksgiving. christmas is kind of quieter, just at home with the kids. >> jimmy: oh, really? just a quiet one. and do you do a big thing, a a big spread with, like, ham and things? >> i sometimes do a ham, but i have a very good turkey potpie that i make from scratch. "new york times" recipe, i highly recommend. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love a turkey potpie. i'm a swanson's guy all the way. [ laughter ] >> i grew up on those. >> jimmy: right? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: the ones with crust in the bottom. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: that's the best one. all right, good. >> you pop them in the oven. >> jimmy: oh, that's my favorite thing ever. oh, rad. i'm coming over for christmas. [ light laughter ] how are the kids, by the way? >> they're great. >> jimmy: i heard that you're using emojis now. is this true? >> we do use emojis on occasion. when we can get the text back from the child, is the shocking moment. but, no, we do. >> jimmy: they just don't -- they don't text back. >> sometimes they don't. sometimes you have to use the megaphone loudspeaker emoji to get them to call back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the one you use the most. >> or text back. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yep. and the hearts and the prayers, and the '70s guy? you know the '70s guy? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i love that guy. [ laughter ] yeah, he's great, too, yeah. >> love that guy. love that guy. >> jimmy: and does warren beatty use -- what does warren do? >> you know, he does this weird thing. he likes to talk. >> jimmy: oh, i never heard of that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i got to write that down, yeah. >> i know, right? >> jimmy: yeah. talk. >> he likes to talk on the phone. and if you do text him, you get a heart, maybe. >> jimmy: really? >> that's it. >> jimmy: he's not a texting guy? >> he's not a texting guy. >> jimmy: is he a tweeting guy? no. >> are you kidding? no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i had to ask just for fun. >> no, no. we're trying to get him to just read tweets but he won't even do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he won't even do that, he just wants to talk to people, yeah. i want to get into the movie. it's -- in the movie you play an actress. do you remember your first role acting? >> well, actually my first play was in the sixth grade. [ gasps ] yeah. >> jimmy: all right, so -- >> we were learning spanish and my teacher, mrs. huckabee at green school taught us to speak spanish by doing the three little pigs in spanish, and i was the narrator. >> jimmy: how cool is that for sixth grade? do you remember any of the lines? >> i happen to remember the first line. >> jimmy: what is that? [ speaking spanish ] >> jimmy: hey, my gosh! [ cheers and applause ] where or what is it? something about three little -- what is it? >> here are the three little pigs. >> jimmy: there you go! [ laughter and applause ] all right, good, yeah, i need a a little help on that. more with annette bening, everybody, when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] we'll talking about "film stars don't die in liverpool." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ music playing ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ automatic emergency braking... ♪ it stopped for you. standard. on nissan's most popular models. hurry, the 2017s are almost gone. lease the rogue family for $159 per month. see star wars the last jedi in theaters dec 15th. but when we brought our daughter home, that was it. now i have nicoderm cq. the nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release technology helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. it's the best thing that ever happened to me. every great why needs a great how. something inside me has always been there... but now it's awake. ♪ the force is yours. the last jedi ar stickers only on the google pixel camera. ♪ but this guy is in a hurry. this van is going, uh, i was in a hurry this morning. barely had time for breakfast. growl. grumpy! jack's gonna crash your crave hey guys. try my country scrambler plate, with jimmy dean sausage, homestyle potatoes and scrambled eggs mixed with bacon, ham and cheese. careful out there, jack, i heard there's some crazy driver in a van. (laughing) it's him! i'm talking about him! try my brunchfast country scrambler plate with jimmy dean sausage. crave van! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with the amazing annette bening, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] "film stars don't die in liverpool." this is a beautiful movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and based on someone i never heard of, sadly. >> yeah, gloria grahame, who was a great film noir femme fatale and amazing actress. and she, later in her life, wasn't doing so well. hard to get jobs, hard to get movie roles, but she was doing some plays. she wanted to practice her craft. she was doing plays in england, and she met a young actor from liverpool named peter turner, and they had a fling to start with, and then it turned into this very serious relationship. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so the story is really about what happened at the end of their relationship. peter turner was so -- oh, besotted. and it ended in a way that you'll see in the movie, and he had to write a book. he said it just -- it took him a couple years, he couldn't sleep, so at 4:30 in got up and he wrote this book and he poured his heart out. it's very tasteful, like, discreet. >> jimmy: it's beautiful -- >> spoke about his life with gloria. >> jimmy: it's sad -- and yeah, with gloria, absolutely. and it's sad, but also uplifting, and there's some funny moments. and -- well, obviously there are, but there's very romantic moments as well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and it took you a a while to make this. is this a true story that you met the producer in the bathroom? >> yeah, well, we had -- we had known each other, barbara broccoli, one of our producers. >> jimmy: i love barbara broccoli -- >> i know, she's amazing. >> jimmy: the james -- the james bond movies, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> she's an incredible human being. >> jimmy: yeah. >> colin vaines is our other producer. and barbara and i talked about it, like, 23 years ago. hey. because she knew peter when peter was with gloria. they were friends, peter turner, who wrote it. so then cut to 23 years ago, and she's like, "annette, i've got this book." she gave it to me. i read it. i'm like, "my god, this is -- what? how did this happen?" this woman ended up in this house in liverpool with this family. it's just incredible. so we talked about it then, it was too soon, wasn't the right time. and then about seven years ago, we were at the bafta awards in london, and rushing to the ladies' room. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there we all are in our evening gowns. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she's like -- we're talking, i said, "you know, barbara, we ought to do that film." so then she and colin got it rolling again and hired an amazing writer from manchester, england, who's just like a big guy with a heart of gold. and so then we put it together. >> jimmy: yeah, and jamie bell i will say -- >> jamie bell is -- >> jimmy: he is great. >> incredible. and he was so kind to me and such a great partner. i'm so grateful that jamie did the film and -- >> jimmy: what a role for you. i mean, you play -- you going through some tough things. it's like -- it's almost like two different roles. >> yeah, and there's a lot of joy. i mean, they fall in love, there's this incredible connection but then they go through a really hard thing together. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> yeah, it's really -- >> jimmy: but it -- >> because of peter being a a great guy. >> jimmy: yeah, and you want to go through those tough moments with someone you love -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: and someone you -- but there's -- the scene that i like, i think that we're going to show, is that he's walking by your place and you go, "hey, do you mind being my dancing partner? i'm practicing the hustle." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you're like, "oh, i'll make you a drink." he's like, "oh, i'll do anything for a drink. why not?" so he comes in and you guys just go for it. and it's just so fun. i want to show everyone annette bening's moves in "film stars don't die in liverpool." take a look at this. >> so if i make you a drink, you'd come to my room and hustle with me? i need a partner for my dance class. >> i mean, if you fix me a a drink, i'll come in and clean your bathroom. >> huh. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: i mean, come on! how fun is that? [ cheers and applause ] annette bening, everyone! "film stars don't die in liverpool" hits select theaters december 29th. we'll be right back with judd apatow, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know when you've got takeout on your chest and the blanket around your feet and then you realize the remote is on the other side of the couch. just say, "hey google, play west world." ♪ it's google home mini. now only $29 ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody ♪ "squeak" the melody we bring your family amazing value every day. t.j. maxx. marshalls. homegoods. family is the greatest gift. let's get the big guy in place. the ford year end sales event is here. i can guide you in. no, thanks , santa. i got this. santa: uh, it looks a little tight. perfect fit. santa needs an f-150. that's ford, america's best selling brand. hurry in today for 0% financing for 72 months across the full line up of ford cars, trucks and suvs. for a limited time, get an additional $1,000 cash back on top of 0% financing for 72 months. get these exclusive offers during the ford year end sales event. get these exclusive offers gewith a sparkling new sweater this weekend at kohl's! for the girl's - a holiday dress or a ceramic cookware set! plus take an extra 20% off when you spend $100 or more! you'll get kohl's cash too! presents for them, kohl's cash for you! give joy, get joy at kohl's! feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. ♪ eight hundred dollars when wet switched our auto and home insurance. with liberty, we could afford a real babysitter instead of your brother. hey. oh. that's my robe. is it? you could save seven hundred eighty two dollars when liberty stands with you. liberty mutual insurance. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an incredibly talented writer, producer, director and comedian. his debut stand-up special "judd apatow: the return" is available now on netflix. everyone, please welcome judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. you know we love you. and happy belated birthday. you just turned 50? >> i just turned 50 years old. >> jimmy: is that correct? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] hey, c'mon, buddy. that's great. >> it is good. >> jimmy: how does it feel? >> it feels pretty good. i feel like my lack of exercise is paying off. >> jimmy: yes. >> because i have no injuries. a lot of people are like, "my knee is bad from basketball." i'm like, "i got nothing." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i never did anything physical. >> people always say, "are you slowing down?" i'm like, "i don't know, i never move fast." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going at the same speed. i have this thing right here -- a picture of you. >> oh yes, because for my birthday, my friend -- very good friend -- got me tickets to see springsteen on broadway, which i'm very excited about. >> jimmy: i haven't seen it yet, i heard it's -- >> which is, you're not a good friend -- [ light laughter ] to him. >> jimmy: i can't wait. >> jimmy: and i've only met him once before. which is in 1991, garry shandling hosted the grammys and i was writing for him. and i said to garry, "we're taking a picture with bruce springsteen, because you're the host and you're allowed to do that." >> jimmy: yes, of course. >> this is the photo. >> jimmy: you got a photo with bruce springsteen. here he is. you and garry. look at you. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: now what -- i love this. 'cause i was like, what look were you going for in that one? >> i was going for a little stallone in "nighthawks." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we actually have a a photo of stallone from that time. it's not bad. [ light laughter ] >> you gotta -- you gotta show 'em together. >> jimmy: gotta some them together. >> gotta show them together. >> jimmy: yeah, not bad. you kind of nailed it. [ applause ] >> i may have pulled it off. >> jimmy: you kind of nailed it. >> that's as good as a jew is going to do looking like stallone. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: did you get to meet springsteen again or are you going? >> i'm gonna go. >> jimmy: so you guys maybe take another photo now, an updated photo. >> well, if he wants to invite me backstage. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love seeing the picture of garry shandling, too. i miss that guy, obviously. and i know -- i heard that you're writing a book about garry, but i know you're making a documentary. >> i made a four-hour documentary about garry for hbo. >> jimmy: wow. >> and some people say, you know, four hours seems like a a lot. but o.j. got seven. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> so i feel like the people that don't murder should get more hours. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. finally someone said it, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] finally. gosh, i miss garry shandling. i love that guy so much. i will say you also produce so many great things. including this year, "the big sick," which is one of my favorite movies of the year. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: not only did it have heart, but it was funny. it was so funny and so well done. congrats on that. >> i appreciate that. the golden globes people do not agree with you at all. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: they do not agree. >> the golden globes are weird. here's the thing, golden globes are weird, especially in the comedy category. i don't know if they understand comedy that much, because "trainwreck" lost to "the martian." >> jimmy: there you go. yeah, yeah, that makes sense. >> and "bridesmaids" lost to a a hilarious movie called "my weekend with marilyn." [ laughter ] i think all the movies -- >> jimmy: why is the comedy categories in with the dramas, i don't -- >> well the dramas always want to be comedies, because i think they think it's an easier category, so -- >> jimmy: then they throw musicals in there as well, right? >> yeah, so right at the last second, a musical slips in. and then they're like, "'dunkirk' says they're a a comedy now." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it gets them the award, yeah. i want to talk about -- either way, it's a great film. obviously, you know it is. it's just fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: kumail, unbelievable. >> yeah, he's the best. >> jimmy: aw, crush. and ray romano, everybody was great in it. i loved the whole film. let's talk about you in "the disaster artist." this is you in front of the camera. which is -- i always love seeing you. we'll talk about the stand-up special. i love seeing you out there. what made you do it? was it james franco? >> okay, so, james franco calls me and he says, "judd, do you want to do this part? it's this total idiot, mean producer. and he's the one who tells my character that he's never going to make it." and i'm like, "that sounds like fun." and i go to set -- [ light laughter ] and then he has me sitting with like a 19-year-old girl. it's like a harvey weinstein situation. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] you know, i'm playing like a a terrible person. and then i see james franco promoting the movie, he's like, "yeah, judd was so good in the movie playing himself." [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: what? >> i was like, what? i thought i was an ass[ bleep ] producer, what happened? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you made me do that. >> no, yes! >> jimmy: you directed me. he was the director. >> you can't at the end of it go judd as himself. what is that? [ laughter ] that's like the worst thing you could do to somebody. but the movie is unbelievable. it's very, very good. >> jimmy: oh, it is great. now, you're on netflix. you're doing stand-up. you stopped doing stand-up for 20 years. >> i did. i took a little break. >> jimmy: 'cause i remember you were back in the day -- a a little break? 20 years? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why did you stop? >> when i started -- i don't know who the guys were when you started. but i was friends with jim carrey, and so that was weird to watch jim carrey and sandler all the time, because you felt like they were going to be superstars. so, it felt weird to think i was as good as them. you know, it's like if you were trying to start a band and your friend was starting a band called radiohead. you know? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly like -- yeah. >> but i did bring a clip to show you how bad i was in the '80s when i was a comedian. i've noticed i still have a lot of the new york accent. >> jimmy: here's a young judd apatow doing stand-up. check this out. >> not proud. >> i don't know what to do with these people. i have a stepfather who i call by his first name, because that's what you do. it's kind of cold though, you know? it's like, okay, that's my sister, that's my brother, that's my mom. and this is derek. [ light laughter ] and your stepfather cannot punish you. he can't. it's like, he's in on the conversation, yet has no power. you know? it's like living with dan quayle. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: topical -- >> i was on it. >> jimmy: political. >> yes. >> jimmy: you got the sleeves rolled up on the sweatshirt. you got the whole look going. >> and the new york accent. and that went away. i'm always surprised when people's accent doesn't go away. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like schwarzenegger, why does he still talk like that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, your kids, how would they feel about the special? >> i said to my daughters, "do you want to see it?" and if there's any jokes you want me to cut out. if they offend you, i'll cut them out. and they both said, "yeah, we don't need to see it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they just don't care. >> just a full lack of interest in the special. it's a weird time for my kids. because my daughter, who's 15, is now alone in the house with my wife and i, because her older sister is in college. >> jimmy: right. >> and that's not fun for a kid to live with their parents alone. because four people is a family and three is a child observing a weird couple. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: guys, check this out. judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] his stand-up special, "judd apatow: the return" is available now on netflix. we'll be right back with a a performance from sza. stick around. sza! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest is the most nominated female artist for the 2 2018 grammy awards. [ cheers and applause ] earning five nominations, including best new artist, for her debut album "control." her mom and dad are in the audience. hi, mom and dad. hey. [ cheers and applause ] performing "supermodel", please welcome back sza! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm writing this letter to let you know i'm really leaving and no i'm not keeping your -- ♪ ♪ heard you got some new homies got some new hobbies even a new hoe too ♪ ♪ maybe she can come help you maybe she can come lay with you ♪ ♪ after we're done what's done is done i don't want nothing else to do with it ♪ ♪ let me tell you a secret i been secretly banging your homeboy ♪ ♪ why you in vegas all up on valentine's day ♪ ♪ why am i so easy to forget like that it can't be that easy for you to get like that ♪ ♪ oh no she didn't ooh yes i did oh no she didn't i'll do it again ♪ ♪ leave me lonely for prettier women you know i need too much attention ♪ ♪ for -- like that you know you wrong for -- like that ♪ ♪ i could be your supermodel if you believe ♪ ♪ if you see it in me see it in me see it in me i don't see myself ♪ ♪ why i can't stay alone just by myself wish i was comfortable just with myself ♪ ♪ but i need you i need you i need you ♪ ♪ ooh just get a load of them they got chemistry all they could say ♪ ♪ we like brother and sister look so good together bet they -- for real ♪ ♪ and they was right that's why i stayed with ya the the -- was too good it made me feel good ♪ ♪ for temporary love you was a temporary lover ♪ ♪ leave me lonely for prettier women you know i need too much attention ♪ ♪ for -- like that you know you wrong for -- like that ♪ ♪ i could be your supermodel if you believe ♪ ♪ if you see it in me see it in me see it in me i don't see myself ♪ ♪ why i can't stay alone just by myself wish i was comfortable just with myself ♪ ♪ but i need you said i need you ooh ooh aah aah ♪ ♪ said-d-d-d-d said i said i ♪ ♪ i need you i need you oohh ♪ ♪ said i said i need need ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sza, everybody. come on! [ cheers and applause ] that's how you do it. "control" is out now. my thanks to annette bening, judd apatow, sza! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. hi, mom and dad. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- seth rogen, from "victoria" actress, jenna coleman, music from, clean bandit and julia michaels, featuring the 8g band with mark guiliana. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers this is "late night" how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the alabama special senate election was held today. now, we taped this show before the results came out. but if you're up this late, and couldn't sleep, congratulations, roy moore.

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