Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171031



crew. >> questlove: 764! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi! [ cheers and applause ] that's a great crowd. great new york city crowd. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] this is it, baby. you're here. thank you for being here. here's what -- here's what people are all talking about. some big news out of washington today. trump's former campaign manager, paul manafort, was charged with fraud, tax evasion, and money laundering as part of the russia investigation. [ audience oohs ] i don't want to say trump's nervous, but he just hopped into a white ford bronco and took off down the highway. [ laughter and applause ] that's not good. now, if you don't remember paul manafort, here he is during the campaign. >> so to be clear, mr. trump has no financial relationships with any russian oligarchs. >> if that's what he said. i don't -- that's what i said -- that's obviously what the -- our position is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, is that the way someone guilty talks? [ applause ] i rest my case. i rest my case. uhh -- that's what -- [ mumbling ] [ light laughter ] [ mumbling ] [ light laughter ] another guy who was indicted is former aide george papadopoulos. and it turns out he tried to set up a meeting between the trump campaign and russia. of course lots newscasters were having some trouble with the name papadopoulos. check this out. >> the trump campaign and -- and, and through mr. papadapoulos. >> george papadolopolous. >> tell us, first of all, more about the case against george stephanopoulos -- or papadopoulos, i should say. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think -- i think mr. snuffleupagus should be put behind bars. [ laughter and applause ] prison! meanwhile, i saw that donald trump jr. and his brother, eric, are going to india to launch real estate projects for the trump organization. yeah, it's all part of a new business strategy called fleeing the country. [ laughter and applause ] and this is nice. i saw that ivanka trump had a a surprise birthday party this weekend. because if there's one thing you want to do when everyone's facing indictments is jumping out and yelling, "surprise!" [ applause ] hey, how you doing? fine. and finally, this weekend, trump was on his way home from golfing when his motorcade passed a cyclist and she threw up a middle finger. and then the motorcade slowed down, and she caught up and did it again. [ laughter ] here's a picture of her right here. yeah, that's real. [ light laughter ] we actually got our hands on a a photo of that woman from a a different angle. take a look at this. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, my god! >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice, very nice. guys, it is monday. we're very excited to be back. we have a huge week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, millie bobby brown will be here. [ cheers and applause ] have you seen it yet? >> steve: i've not seen two. >> jimmy: "stranger things 2." no, i have not seen it yet. have you guys seen "stranger things 2" yet? [ cheers ] the whole thing? [ cheers ] >> steve: ugh. >> jimmy: half. [ light laughter ] i got to get on it. have you binged it? >> questlove: haven't started yet, no. no, don't say something. >> jimmy: no, i don't know! i'm not going to say anything. i don't know anything either. >> questlove: okay. >> tariq: tonight, tonight. >> jimmy: you're doing it tonight? >> tariq: tonight, yeah. >> jimmy: i got to get into it, man. millie's coming on tomorrow. so i'll at least -- i'll check out the first ep, so i'll know what i'm talking about. >> steve: right, because you don't wanna get spoiled. >> jimmy: i saw the teaser, and that was almost too much for me. [ light laughter ] it was very close. it was like spoi -- >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they go spoi -- and i go, you almost said spoiler. but they didn't. anyways, anyways, millie bobby brown is going to be here tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] kelly clarkson will be joining us. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, she's the best. we had fun with her last time she came on. later in the week, we have chris hemsworth. woo! >> steve: aw! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: alec baldwin! >> steve: my man. >> jimmy: saoirse ronan! >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: and performances from maroon 5 with sza. [ cheers and applause ] wiz khalifa featuring ty dolla $ign. and on wednesday we're announcing something fun with ben & jerry's. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: but we can't say what it is. >> steve: oh. [ light laughter ] nothing to do with ice cream. >> jimmy: i don't want -- hey, hey, hey, hey! don't want to talk about it. but we have to wait until wednesday. anyways, we're going to have an announcement with -- something with ben & jerry's. >> steve: but something, you can't see what it is. >> jimmy: it's going to be good. yeah, you want to tune in for that wednesday. it'll be fun. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight. he stars in "the voice." and this friday his 11th album, "texoma shore," is out. my man, blake shelton is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] "texoma shore." we're going to talk about "the voice" and his new record. then blake is performing his new song, "at the house," to close tonight's show. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] that's the name of the album there. very bright over here. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it doesn't quite -- isn't it weird? doesn't even look like his body. [ light laughter ] >> steve: let me see. you think that's fake? >> jimmy: well, i've seen, you know, brawny paper towels. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you that's the brawny lumberjack? >> jimmy: i'm just saying there's a similar pose that he makes. [ light laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: no, but here he is. this is probably him on -- he's daydreaming. >> steve: he's thinking about "texoma shore." >> jimmy: well, he's there, i believe. >> steve: is that the shore? >> jimmy: i think this is the shore. can we zoom out? he's like looking at a bright light. maybe it's an alien or something? [ light laughter ] >> steve: you think this has something to do with "stranger things 2" or something like that? >> jimmy: oh, his boat is capsized. [ laughter ] so he -- so, what happened was he went on probably a fishing trip or something. >> steve: sure, right, love it. >> jimmy: and then he just got ship wrecked. [ light laughter ] >> steve: so you're saying this is an island in the middle -- >> jimmy: yeah, but what is he supposed to do? he's an artist. >> steve: right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he has no tools. >> steve: right. except his imagination. >> jimmy: yes, exactly. the best tool you can have -- >> steve: the only tool. >> jimmy: your mind. >> steve: the mind. >> jimmy: the only tool. he has to write songs. >> steve: and so he did it. he sat down in the marshy swamp. >> jimmy: yeah, got his jeans all wet. that's probably one of the songs. "i got my jeans wet." [ light laughter ] >> steve: jeans and -- is "swamp gas" the name of a a song? or "cattails?" >> jimmy: no spoilers. i don't want to say what other songs are on the record. we'll talk to blake about it. >> steve: don't spoil it for anybody. >> jimmy: but, yeah, he probably sat in the marsh, got all wet jeans. that's the worst. 'cause that's very -- takes a long time to dry wet jeans. >> steve: no, especially when you're in a swamp. >> jimmy: yeah. so he's in there. yeah, he wrote all these songs there. >> steve: then he tried to drain the swamp. >> jimmy: "turnin' me on." >> steve: "turnin' me on" is one of the songs? >> jimmy: "turnin' me on" is one of the songs. so he's dreaming. [ laughter ] >> steve: daydreaming. >> jimmy: what else you supposed to do but dream? >> steve: yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: you can't stop -- >> steve: dream big dreams. >> jimmy: people from dreaming. >> steve: yeah. that's what america's all about. >> jimmy: "texoma shore." it's a real place. >> steve: is it? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] and we're going to have blake shelton is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "texoma shore." i love blake. oh, man. i hope -- he can't cancel right now, can he? >> steve: no. [ light laughter ] we turned the monitor off. >> jimmy: plus, she's one of the funniest people. oh, my goodness. from the nbc comedy "great news", andrea martin is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: "sctv"! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: she's the greatest. >> steve: she's the best. >> jimmy: "my big fat greek wedding." hey guys, we're all striving for the same thing. inner peace, serenity, to be our best selves. with that in mind, it's time for a new segment called "monday motivation." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> this is monday motivation. >> jimmy: so, over the weekend, i asked you guys to send us some original inspirational quotes from you guys. we got a lot of great ones. now i would like to share some of my favorites, so that we can start our week with good vibes. you ready? [ cheers ] here we we go. this one's from @matthewlindquist. he says -- [ light laughter ] ♪ "reach for the stars. settle for the top of the stairs." [ laughter and applause ] that's not bad. >> steve: i like that one. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. this next one's from claudia m. lab. she says -- ♪ "be the kind of person you pretend to be in your tinder bio." [ laughter and applause ] very helpful. this one is from @nickbar02774763. >> steve: oh, 63. okay. i thought it was 62. >> jimmy: you knew the other nick bar? >> steve: i know nick bar 0277 -- >> jimmy: yeah, i got you. yeah, yeah, yeah. he says -- ♪ [ light laughter ] "if you think you're too small to be noticed, you're clearly never been that one piece of lego on the floor." [ applause ] that hurts. that hurts. this one's from @curlygirleats. she says -- ♪ "today you're looking 'no filter' good." [ applause ] this last one here is from @jesssupey06. she says -- ♪ "if you don't count today, it's a four-day week." [ applause ] yeah. fantastic. that's all the time we have for our "monday motivations." thank you, thank you so much. a little monday motivation. not bad. i want to say i'm sorry if i seem a little off today. it's just -- i don't know if it's because halloween is tomorrow. but some pretty scary stuff has been happening around the office lately. here, take a look. [ ding ] [ ding ] >> jimmy: "trump declares himself king of earth"? [ ding ] "trump outlaws peacocks, no explanation." [ ding ] "trump: u.s. will start deporting ugly people"? it's everywhere. i can't escape. >> steve: hey, jimmy! you all right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what's up? >> jimmy: nothing. it's just -- >> steve: what? ♪ [ light laughter ] dude, what's wrong? hey! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ugh! >> hey, jimmy, did you hear that trump wants to move america closer to the sun so he can be warm? >> jimmy: ahh! >> oh, okay. ♪ >> president trump -- >> donald trump -- >> donald trump just called japan the greatest city in china. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, quest. >> questlove: you like my hair? [ light laughter ] >> trump, trump, trump. >> trump! >> trump. >> trump, trump! >> jimmy: oh, what's up, man? >> oh, hey, what's up, dude? >> trump, trump, trump. >> trump. >> trump. >> trump. >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. i just feel like trump is everywhere. i can't get away from that guy. >> tell me about it. >> jimmy: ahh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy halloween, everybody! we'll be right back with blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ this is google home mini. it's got the google assistant in it, so it's super helpful. watch this: "hey google, good morning." "good morning, claire." "it's 72 and sunny." "don't forget to wear some sunscreen." oh, that's nice. it'll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you: "your first meeting is at 9am." and you know how sometimes you're in bed and you can't get out of it until you hear that one song that... "okay, playing your get-out-of-bed playlist." ♪ yeah, it can do that too. it's google home mini and the rest of the google home family. ♪ ♪ that one. this. ♪ ♪ t-mobile's unlimited now includes netflix on us. that's right. netflix on us. get 4 unlimited lines for just $40 bucks each. taxes and fees included. and now netflix included. so go ahead. binge on us. another reason why t-mobile is america's best unlimited network. quartrback. they traded for jimmy garoppolo. he )s the highly coveted backup quarterback for tom brady. he could make his 49ers debut -- as early as this sunday. the official annohcmenrt expected tuesday. and are you ready for the rain? it )ll be a dry halloween -- but by the end of the week -- we )ll be wet. download our free weather app at nbc bay area dot com to see jeff ranieri )s updated forecast. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our lead guest tonight is one of the biggest stars in country music, with 24 number one songs to his credit and more to come off his new album, "texoma shore", right here. it's out this friday. he's also -- you can see him on "the voice", which airs monday and tuesday nights at 8:00 pm. please welcome a good man, mr. blake shelton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love you. >> you still have people that come here. >> jimmy: i do have people that come here, yeah. people enjoy this show. they enjoy watching it. they enjoy having you on. thank you for coming back, because i love having you on. i really do. i want to go -- >> i love being here. [ laughter ] i also saw the 15-minute segment you did -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> making fun of my damn album cover. >> jimmy: i didn't make -- i'm not making fun of it. >> can you just try to help me sell records for once? do something that promotes me? >> jimmy: i just didn't know the situation. what is the situation? are you, like, thinking about what to do with the boat? [ laughter ] what -- what are you thinking here, about memories of where you are? is this "texoma shore?" >> right now, i'm -- i'm thinking about wishing i was there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, i know. but are you here now? is this photo of "texoma shore"? >> of course it is. that's the "texoma shore." >> jimmy: but what -- but what are you thinking about? some other place? [ laughter ] were memories of growing up, "texoma shore", young little blakey. [ laughter ] running around with his short shorts on. [ laughter ] "ma, pa, i'm here! am i late for dinner?" "don't worry about it blake. we're having the same thing we have every night." [ laughter ] "get over here, blake. get in here. get me a whiskey!" "what's the problem, dad? you never loved me." [ laughter ] "i don't even love you right now. get over here, son. "come here, blakey." "i love you, ma. i love you, dad." is that type of thing -- is that the type of -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: "texoma shore" is a a real place. i did not know that. >> it's lake texoma in oklahoma. come on, man. [ cheers ] yeah, see? >> jimmy: that's two people cheered. [ laughter ] >> what are you talking about? >> jimmy: i really didn't -- never heard of this. >> lake texoma. so it's the border of oklahoma and texas, lake tex -- >> jimmy: i get it now. >> -- oma. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. but i thought maybe you made it up. made up a word or something. [ laughter ] you're an artist. >> that's true. >> jimmy: you do things like that. you know, you make up words and stuff like that. >> would you interview me, for god's sakes? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's talk about this. you're going on tour. >> thank god. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. >> jimmy: you're going on tour. >> talk about it. >> jimmy: yeah. brett eldridge. i love brett eldridge. trace atkins. >> you know, trace atkins? >> jimmy: that's my dude. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's taller than you. >> a little bit. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and carly pierce. >> carly pierce is a new -- >> jimmy: shorter than you. >> new girl coming out in country music. >> jimmy: yeah. >> got a huge hit out there. >> jimmy: now you can go to blakeshelton.com, which i do every day. >> of course. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i just click refresh on my computer, just to see what you're up to, man. >> you do? >> jimmy: yeah, blakeshelton.com. recipes and stuff like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know, pinterest pages. how to decorate your dorm room and stuff. [ laughter ] i love your website. i'm always on your website. i know that you have a a restaurant called "old red." >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: you do, for real. you opened a restaurant. >> that's true. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're teeing me up here now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i've never been there. >> you don't ask a question like a normal interviewer. ask me a question. you just say it, and i didn't even get a chance to say it. >> jimmy: "old red" is the name of the restaurant. >> "old red" is the name of the new restaurant in -- >> jimmy: the new restaurant is called "old red." >> this is unbelievable. even the band -- >> jimmy: just an ironic name for a new restaurant. here it is, old -- here's an old new restaurant. [ laughter ] already my mind is boggled. i go in. i don't know what to expect. what do i go in -- when i go in to "old red." >> old red is the new restaurant slash bar music venue that is in tishomingo, oklahoma. i know you've heard of -- no. i know you've heard of tishomingo. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're trying to catch me or something. >> i've talked about it on this show. >> jimmy: yeah. i've always listened -- >> this show. >> yeah. i always listen to you. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tishomingo, that's where you live. >> yes. >> jimmy: you have a house there. and do you have a boat? [ laughter ] just setting you up. because "texoma shore." how far away are you from the shore? [ laughter ] how far away -- >> i'm not going to give you the location of my damn house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just have to google it. >> don't worry about it. don't worry about it. >> jimmy: what do you know about running a restaurant? why would you do something like this? [ laughter ] >> what do you know about having a restaurant. >> jimmy: i would never run a a restaurant. >> you never had a restaurant. >> jimmy: no. no. >> jimmy: no. >> i think i might have, maybe, almost invested in one. >> just didn't. >> jimmy: well, it's a bad investment. [ laughter ] i'm just saying, no, i mean it's really hard to run and maintain restaurants. i mean, i don't know why you would do this. but i hope it's a hit. i mean, in a -- [ laughter ] people -- everyone in tichiwanga should go to -- [ laughter ] "old red." you know? you go in, you go, "i want the usual." [ laughter ] is it burgers and stuff, wings? [ laughter ] i go into "old red", right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i've never been there before. what do i see? i walk in. what do i see? >> you see tables. you see a bar. [ laughter ] you see a -- there's a stage back there. >> jimmy: is there really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: live music? >> of course. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. i thought it was a restaurant like it's -- i thought it was like an olive garden. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because you're opening another one, i hear. >> another "old red", yes. in nashville. >> jimmy: in nashville. "old red", when you're here, you're family. [ laughter ] >> you made up a slogan for us. >> jimmy: yeah. where are you going to open it? >> in nashville, tennessee. [ laughter ] did i say that wrong? did i say nashville --? >> jimmy: no, i've heard of nashville. it's great. i'm sure i've heard of the other location. [ laughter ] i'm excited for you. and can tell that you're psyched. >> can we play a game or something? >> jimmy: no, no, please, no. [ applause ] >> can we do karaoke? >> let's talk about -- no. >> what about karaoke? >> jimmy: talk about "texoma shore." "texoma shore." this is out this friday. so you can preorder it now. you go to blakeshelton.com. or you go to, probably, apple. apple probably has it. itunes has it. >> jimmy: you know what? i want to talk about "the voice." [ laughter ] because this is an interview and i am doing -- >> you did a great job. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ laughter ] who's a special guest coming up? kelly clarkson. >> kelly clarkson. who's going to be a coach -- next season. >> jimmy: i love kelly clarkson. she's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> i do too, i do too. she's been a friend for a long time. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yep. >> jimmy: i think i met her like right after she -- she won "american idol." >> did you really? >> jimmy: she knows a thing or two about those singing shows. she'd be a great -- >> she'll be fun to beat. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so you're going up against her? >> yeah. when she's a coach next season, i'm going to be going up against her. >> jimmy: oh no. >> do you hear anything i say to you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. i have a clip. here's blake shelton and kelly clarkson in an early look at next monday's episode of "the voice." >> you've been drinking already, haven't you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: check this out. >> a little bit. >> so before you beat me next year, will you help me this year? >> yeah. >> okay. i don't think you're going to beat me but here's why. >> are you serious? >> i think you're going to pass out during the blind auditions because you can't stop talking long enough to breathe. >> yeah? >> this is a -- >> so you'll be in the middle of a pitch, literally, face first on your buzzer. >> nope. no. >> is it possible that you talk more than miley? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's coming on the show. >> jimmy: talk about "texoma shore." "texoma shore." these are some of the songs on here. >> 'kay. >> jimmy: what are you -- you're turning me on. >> that's a song on there, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you think i was just saying that? [ laughter ] "turning me on" is there. you got "money." you got "at the house", you're doing today. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's the song you're doing tonight. >> i'm doing that tonight right here on your show. >> jimmy: "at the house." we're psyched that you're doing that. >> "at the house." i know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's one of my favorite songs on the album. >> is it? >> jimmy: i love that. >> what else do you like? ♪ the the house in the middle of the creek ♪ ♪ the house in the middle of the creek♪ ♪ at texoma shore that was where we used to meet ♪ [ cheers and applause ] great song. it feels almost like i've heard it before. that's how much i enjoy the song. >> i feel like super dave when i'm on this show. you make me feel like super dave osborne when i'm on this damn show. >> jimmy: that's a good thing, yeah. you're like a super-hero. yeah. no, i like that. i like -- "i'll name the dogs" is a big hit. i like that song. >> will you sing a little bit of that for us? [ laughter ] ♪ i'll name a dog i'll name him spotty and rex i have never had sex♪ stuff like that. that's a good song. that's a blake shelton song. [ laughter ] i do -- i do like you. i'm actually a big fan of yours. for real. i love "i'll name the dogs." i really do. >> thank you, jimmy. thank you. >> jimmy: let me show you how much i love it. quest? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ girl, it's high time, i tell ya no more messin' around time to lay these cards on the table and just throw it on out♪ ♪ i'm talkin' you and me with the same street name same last name same everything it's a real thing, a how i feel♪ ♪ thing so i'mma go on and take a swing you find the spot and i'll find the money you be the♪ ♪ pretty and i'll be the funny you plant the flowers i'll plant the kisses baby let's get right down to business♪ ♪ i'll hang the pictures you hang the stars you pick the paint i'll pick a guitar sing you a song out♪ ♪ there with the crickets and the frogs you name the babies and i'll name the dogs♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love your stuff. and when i hear that, it makes me want to kick back and go like back to texoma shore. >> you look good in that hat, by the way. don't y'all think he looks good in that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i look like somebody. who do i look like? >> you look a little like woody from "toy story." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would you like to play a game? blake and i are playing -- >> oh, my god. yes, please. >> jimmy: caramel apple roulette after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ dog: barking ] [ "more more more" by the artist dagny ] ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like your love ♪ uh oh oh ♪ how do you like it ♪ tell me how you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more - what's that? - well this is my equation foi've developed the 4 ps. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! haw! ♪ yeehah! break through! break through! sir jeremdilly, dilly.true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly! dilly, dilly! here's to the friends you can always count on. i want ycome on mom!t easy. go slow. ♪ let's go! ♪ mom! slow down! for the ones who keep pushing. always unstoppable. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back! we're hanging out with blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] blake shelton. new record's out friday. you can see him on "the voice." blake and i are about to go head-to-head in a game of caramel apple roulette. higgins', would you like to explain how this works? >> what is it? >> steve: yes, jimmy. here -- would appear to be 12 caramel apples. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: but don't be fooled. eight of these are apples. four are raw onions. [ audience ews ] you and blake will take turns taking one caramel apple and taking a bite. you won't know which are apples and which are onions. once you choose an apple -- >> what the hell are you doing? >> steve: i don't know, everything's off today. [ light laughter ] once you choose an apple, you must take a bite and swallow it. no put backs. first one to bite into two onions loses. blake, as guest on the show, you will choose the first caramel apple. >> this is the dumbest thing. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] right, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: which one? which are apples? >> can i choose it right now? there's a two -- >> steve: yes, which are onions? which are apples? >> that one looks good. >> jimmy: that one looks like an apple. >> steve: that looks like a -- >> you know what, i'm calling bull crap on you. i'm calling bull crap on you. >> steve: good luck! >> now wait, if this is an onion, do i lose, or i get another chance? >> steve: no, you get two onions. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: go for it man. take a bite, and have faith. >> i'm only here 'cause seth meyers was booked. >> jimmy: yeah, i understand. exactly. [ laughter ] i know, i heard this. it's an onion. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] blake, i'm so happy you're here. >> steve: good luck. >> jimmy: all right. >> steve: which are apples -- >> i'm not going to sell one album off this stupid crap. [ laughter ] nobody care about this? >> jimmy: happy halloween, dude. happy hallo -- it feels, it feels a little heavy. it feels like an apple. i feel good. i'm confident -- pretty confident dude. things are going great. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> that's more like it. now we got some drama! it's like the world series, buddy. 1-1. yeah! >> steve: caramelized onions. >> jimmy: that's disgusting, how'd you swallow this? [ light laughter ] >> stop fingering everything. what are you doing? [ laughter ] what is it? what are you doing? >> jimmy: all right. >> is it good? >> jimmy: oh, it's disgusting. now, blake, pick -- pick that one. [ light laughter ] >> no, that didn't work. >> steve: oh, come on, that guy. oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 1-1, like the world series. good luck. go get 'em. feels like an apple. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that is the game! ladies and gentlemen -- thank you for come -- thank you for coming. blake shelton performing a a brand-new song at the end of the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] andrea martin joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ every time you call on me ♪ i drop what i do ♪ you are my best friend ♪ and we've got some things to do ♪ ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah-ea-ea-eah ♪ discover card. i justis this for real?match, yep. we match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. whoo! i got my money! hard to contain yourself, isn't it? uh huh! let it go! whoo! get a dollar-for-dollar match at the end of your first year. only from discover. it all started when sophia found the perfect little mug at marshalls. then piece by piece, surprise by surprise, she built the greatest guest bathroom ever. did she expect to get so much bang for so few bucks? no. but great things happen when you choose surprise. dnew charmin ultra soft! much bang♪for so few bucks? it's softer than ever. new charmin ultra soft is softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird. enjoy the go! with charmin! introducing degree ultracle♪r black + white saves your white clothes from yellow stains... ...and black clothes from white marks still with 48 hour sweat protection. degree ultraclear black + white it won't let you down ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a multiple emmy and tony-winning performer who stars in the comedy "great news" which airs thursday nights at 9:30 right here on nbc. everybody please welcome andrea martin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! i am such a fan. >> thank you. that was so great. ♪ i'll bring the babies you bring the dog ♪ >> jimmy: you bring the dog. yeah, we got -- thank you. i appreciate it. >> that was so amazing, and i loved you dancing. okay, good. >> jimmy: i love you so much. i'm so happy you're here. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: i've been a fan since "sctv" which i believe was one of yours -- that probably one of your first -- that was your breakout thing, right? >> probably. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: one of them. you had many breakout -- you went on to do -- i remember seeing -- i don't remember when i saw "sctv." i don't know -- when was it on? because i'm like -- was it on nbc? >> it was on nbc. it was on after "saturday night live." you know, not many people -- well, if you were a doctor or a a stoned musician, you saw it. [ laughter ] because it was on at 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, "sctv" had -- it was you and catherine o'hara, and eugene levy, and rick moranis, and martin short. >> john candy. >> jimmy: john candy, oh, i love john candy. >> yeah, god bless him. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, joe flahrety. but you -- >> dave thomas. yeah. >> jimmy: you would do these sketches and no live audience, right? >> no, no live audience. yeah, we did them for each other. we shot long days. and in fact, so we shot for eight years, and you know, we never heard any laughter at all. and then in the '90s, we were at the aspen comedy festival and they were playing -- we were being honored, and they played the sketches. in back of us there was an audience, and that was the first time that we ever heard laughs for the sketches. so it was -- it was a pretty heartwarming moment. >> jimmy: what they did was funny. i knew it was. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were just brilliant. amazing. >> thank you so much. thank you. >> jimmy: you've gone to do broadway, two tony awards. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: not too shabby. [ cheers and applause ] how cool is that? >> thank you. >> jimmy: movies as well and we'll get to "great news," because you're fantastic. and that was great. >> well, we have tina -- >> jimmy: tina fey, come on. >> we have this is common, okay. tina, that's crazy. >> jimmy: no, tina fey -- >> can we talk about tina fey for one second? >> jimmy: it's almost insane right? >> can we actually take the entire segment and talk about tina fey? no, wait a minute. she's got a broadway show that's out, "mean girls." >> jimmy: "mean girls," yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> she executive produces "kimmy schmidt," she writes on it. she executive produces "great news." she has written a script for it. she did the first three shows. she's about to do another one. >> jimmy: she does "saturday night live." >> she does "saturday night live." how about she wrote a skit from l.a. to new york and did that -- did you see that cake eating sketch that she did? >> jimmy: oh, that was amazing. i loved it, that was unbelievable. >> she did amazing. amazing mom. amazing wife. i just -- and she's so calm when you're with her, it's like -- she's like the comedy whisperer. she's like cesar millan. you know -- i'm like really nervous, and i'm like, i don't know my lines and all she has to do is go -- like that. and i'm like, okay. yes, ms. fey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. >> whatever you want. >> jimmy: she is the greatest. i love her. you know how much i love her so much. but yeah, she just puts out quality stuff. >> yeah, yeah, it's amazing. >> jimmy: like writing a sketch and then just putting it out. it's all quality. great, great stuff. >> yeah, it's all -- and it's all really, you know, if i had to do everything that she does, i'd be a monster. but she's really -- >> jimmy: yeah, i'd be cranky. >> i'd be really cranky. >> jimmy: i'd be cranky, like, get away! i just wrote ten things. what are you doing? >> yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. "don't you understand, i've got a lot on my mind!" that's what i'd be like. and she's just kind of chill, you know. yeah. >> jimmy: here's one of the reasons i love you, because i read that you based your characters off people that you know in childhood. that's why you can do these characters. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. everything -- almost everything i've ever done has been based on my childhood. i brought some pictures with me, right? so, here's -- here's -- my goodness. there are some pictures of me there. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> so this -- so everything i've ever done -- this is me as aunt voula, 45-year-old aunt voula in "my big fat greek wedding." >> jimmy: absolutely. yeah, you were fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> and here i am, three decades earlier, at my high school prom, looking like the 45-year-old aunt voula. [ laughter ] so there's 45-year-old aunt voula and 45-year-old aunt voula. >> jimmy: yeah see, that's the character. >> character. >> jimmy: that's the range there. >> that's the range. >> jimmy: i want to talk about "great news." >> okay, yay. >> jimmy: because we had nicole richie on the show. >> yeah, i love her. >> jimmy: no, we love her too. >> she taught me how to be chill, which i'm not doing tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she taught you how to be chill? >> yeah, 'cause she's like, "yeah, you just walk on. just sit down." >> jimmy: that's not bad. >> like that. [ cheers and applause ] here's what -- here's what she would never do. um, let me just pull my -- yeah. >> jimmy: pulling everything down. no, i can't do chill. >> nicole richie, briga heelan plays my daughter. john michael higgins, horatio sanz. >> jimmy: i love horatio sanz so much. obviously, he's like, my favorite dude. >> love adam campbell, please god, let me not forget everybody. and nicole richie, i love the show. >> jimmy: nicole richie, we've had her on the show, and she comes out like, in a flowy dress. and she kind of does this. and you go, ladies and gentlemen, nicole richie and she goes -- >> yeah, look at that. turns around. >> jimmy: yeah, and she flows. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what? i'm going to do that god damn it. >> jimmy: yeah, you do it. that's the way to do it. >> wait a minute. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, from the show, "great news," here is andrea martin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> she wouldn't do that. ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that's how you -- unbelievable. wow. andrea martin. i want to show a clip of "great news." so everybody can check it out. this week's episode. here's andrea martin. check it out. >> hey, mom, i can't watch boost tonight. i don't really feel well. i think i ate something weird. >> really? that's not like you. all the boys used to call you the iron stomach and pay good money to watch you eat. well, i hope you feel better. we can watch it tomorrow night. ♪ 911, it's carol. my daughter just lied to me, which means she is in grave danger. would you connect me, please, to liam neeson's line. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> yay! >> jimmy: man, i love you. i'm so happy you're here. i'm the biggest, biggest fan. andrea martin, right there. "great news," airs thursdays -- thursdays at 9:30pm. andrea martin on nbc. we'll be right back with a a performance from blake shelton. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when you say wallpaper, most people think doilies and cabbage roses. we wanted to make wallpaper cool again. one of the greatest challenges of running a small business is having to do a little bit of everything. office 365 really lets us collaborate in real time. once a client sees a 3d rendering, they get it. who knew there would be so much math with wallpaper? the math feature is so amazing. love, love, love teams. it simplifies communication from everywhere. it makes our 10-person company feel like 50. i like that math. ♪ that one. this. ♪ ♪ dad: molly, can you please take out the trash? (sigh) ( ♪ ) dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ ) mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ ) molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ ) ♪ this is google home mini. it's the google assistant for your house... ...so it gets you. if you mumble... [minion mumbling] ...it gets you. if you talk like this: "add worcestershire sauce to my cart." it still gets you. "okay, adding now." and if you're like: hey google, play my love playlist." ♪ ah, really? play my love playlist. ♪ oh yeah, it also knows the difference between you and him. it's google home mini... ...and the rest of the google home family. ♪ this this this this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. what's your body of proof? feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "at the house", once again, blake shelton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ don't need no tab don't need no visa no bouncer looking like a wannabe vin diesel don't need your friends ♪ ♪ all getting jealous watching you walk in looking so good that you could sell it uh-uh, not again ♪ ♪ girl let's get this party started where the party always ends got a yellow backdoor porch party light ♪ ♪ got a speaker in the window playing barry white you and me out here swaying star-gazing ♪ ♪ gonna bring it back in break the candles out ♪ ♪ get the mood turned on and the lights out lose a little something♪ ♪ black and lacy in the couch at the house ♪ ♪ don't need no plans no reservations nobody calling me up saying ♪ ♪ "where you at, man? we waiting" we can keep it on chill or get a little obnoxious uh-huh ♪ ♪ go ahead and get your freak on, ain't nobody gonna stop us uh-uh girl just the essentials ♪ ♪ you and me a little smithworks rockin' out this residential got a yellow backdoor ♪ ♪ porch party light got a speaker in the window playing barry white you and me out here ♪ ♪ swaying star-gazing gonna bring it back in break the candles out get the mood turned on and the lights out ♪ ♪ lose a little something black and lacy in the couch at the house ♪ ♪ at the house uh-uh not again girl let's get this party ♪ ♪ started where the party always ends got a yellow backdoor porch party light got a speaker in the ♪ ♪ window playing barry white you and me out here swaying star-gazing gonna bring it back in ♪ ♪ break the candles out get the mood turned on and the lights out lose a little something black and lacy in ♪ ♪ the couch at the house yeah, at the house that's what it's all about ♪ ♪ mmm, yeah at the house ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's how you do it, right there. that's how you do it. blake shelton. "texoma shore" is out this friday. catch him on "the voice" monday and tuesday nights on nbc. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ at stanford health care, we can now repair complex aortic aneurysms without invasive surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. and if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. if we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you. what if home security was different? what if it looked different? what if the measure of working, was that you never had to think about it. ♪ what if it was so easy to use, you actually used it. [alarm] you have 3 minutes to exit. what if it gave you time, and what you really need from home security. a sense of security. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to the one and only blake shelton, right here! [ cheers and applause ] andrea martin! and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] i got onion. i got onion. i got onion. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. seth meyers is right upstairs -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- heidi klum, senator bernie sanders, music from imagine dragons, featuring the 8g band with anton fig. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everyone. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's fantastic to hear. in that case let's get to the news. well, trump was right. we have started saying merry christmas again. [ laughter ] president trump's former campaign chairman, paul manafort was charged today with twelve

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171031 : Comparemela.com

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171031

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crew. >> questlove: 764! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi! [ cheers and applause ] that's a great crowd. great new york city crowd. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] this is it, baby. you're here. thank you for being here. here's what -- here's what people are all talking about. some big news out of washington today. trump's former campaign manager, paul manafort, was charged with fraud, tax evasion, and money laundering as part of the russia investigation. [ audience oohs ] i don't want to say trump's nervous, but he just hopped into a white ford bronco and took off down the highway. [ laughter and applause ] that's not good. now, if you don't remember paul manafort, here he is during the campaign. >> so to be clear, mr. trump has no financial relationships with any russian oligarchs. >> if that's what he said. i don't -- that's what i said -- that's obviously what the -- our position is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, is that the way someone guilty talks? [ applause ] i rest my case. i rest my case. uhh -- that's what -- [ mumbling ] [ light laughter ] [ mumbling ] [ light laughter ] another guy who was indicted is former aide george papadopoulos. and it turns out he tried to set up a meeting between the trump campaign and russia. of course lots newscasters were having some trouble with the name papadopoulos. check this out. >> the trump campaign and -- and, and through mr. papadapoulos. >> george papadolopolous. >> tell us, first of all, more about the case against george stephanopoulos -- or papadopoulos, i should say. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think -- i think mr. snuffleupagus should be put behind bars. [ laughter and applause ] prison! meanwhile, i saw that donald trump jr. and his brother, eric, are going to india to launch real estate projects for the trump organization. yeah, it's all part of a new business strategy called fleeing the country. [ laughter and applause ] and this is nice. i saw that ivanka trump had a a surprise birthday party this weekend. because if there's one thing you want to do when everyone's facing indictments is jumping out and yelling, "surprise!" [ applause ] hey, how you doing? fine. and finally, this weekend, trump was on his way home from golfing when his motorcade passed a cyclist and she threw up a middle finger. and then the motorcade slowed down, and she caught up and did it again. [ laughter ] here's a picture of her right here. yeah, that's real. [ light laughter ] we actually got our hands on a a photo of that woman from a a different angle. take a look at this. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, my god! >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice, very nice. guys, it is monday. we're very excited to be back. we have a huge week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, millie bobby brown will be here. [ cheers and applause ] have you seen it yet? >> steve: i've not seen two. >> jimmy: "stranger things 2." no, i have not seen it yet. have you guys seen "stranger things 2" yet? [ cheers ] the whole thing? [ cheers ] >> steve: ugh. >> jimmy: half. [ light laughter ] i got to get on it. have you binged it? >> questlove: haven't started yet, no. no, don't say something. >> jimmy: no, i don't know! i'm not going to say anything. i don't know anything either. >> questlove: okay. >> tariq: tonight, tonight. >> jimmy: you're doing it tonight? >> tariq: tonight, yeah. >> jimmy: i got to get into it, man. millie's coming on tomorrow. so i'll at least -- i'll check out the first ep, so i'll know what i'm talking about. >> steve: right, because you don't wanna get spoiled. >> jimmy: i saw the teaser, and that was almost too much for me. [ light laughter ] it was very close. it was like spoi -- >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they go spoi -- and i go, you almost said spoiler. but they didn't. anyways, anyways, millie bobby brown is going to be here tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] kelly clarkson will be joining us. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, she's the best. we had fun with her last time she came on. later in the week, we have chris hemsworth. woo! >> steve: aw! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: alec baldwin! >> steve: my man. >> jimmy: saoirse ronan! >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: and performances from maroon 5 with sza. [ cheers and applause ] wiz khalifa featuring ty dolla $ign. and on wednesday we're announcing something fun with ben & jerry's. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: but we can't say what it is. >> steve: oh. [ light laughter ] nothing to do with ice cream. >> jimmy: i don't want -- hey, hey, hey, hey! don't want to talk about it. but we have to wait until wednesday. anyways, we're going to have an announcement with -- something with ben & jerry's. >> steve: but something, you can't see what it is. >> jimmy: it's going to be good. yeah, you want to tune in for that wednesday. it'll be fun. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight. he stars in "the voice." and this friday his 11th album, "texoma shore," is out. my man, blake shelton is here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] "texoma shore." we're going to talk about "the voice" and his new record. then blake is performing his new song, "at the house," to close tonight's show. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] that's the name of the album there. very bright over here. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it doesn't quite -- isn't it weird? doesn't even look like his body. [ light laughter ] >> steve: let me see. you think that's fake? >> jimmy: well, i've seen, you know, brawny paper towels. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you that's the brawny lumberjack? >> jimmy: i'm just saying there's a similar pose that he makes. [ light laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: no, but here he is. this is probably him on -- he's daydreaming. >> steve: he's thinking about "texoma shore." >> jimmy: well, he's there, i believe. >> steve: is that the shore? >> jimmy: i think this is the shore. can we zoom out? he's like looking at a bright light. maybe it's an alien or something? [ light laughter ] >> steve: you think this has something to do with "stranger things 2" or something like that? >> jimmy: oh, his boat is capsized. [ laughter ] so he -- so, what happened was he went on probably a fishing trip or something. >> steve: sure, right, love it. >> jimmy: and then he just got ship wrecked. [ light laughter ] >> steve: so you're saying this is an island in the middle -- >> jimmy: yeah, but what is he supposed to do? he's an artist. >> steve: right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he has no tools. >> steve: right. except his imagination. >> jimmy: yes, exactly. the best tool you can have -- >> steve: the only tool. >> jimmy: your mind. >> steve: the mind. >> jimmy: the only tool. he has to write songs. >> steve: and so he did it. he sat down in the marshy swamp. >> jimmy: yeah, got his jeans all wet. that's probably one of the songs. "i got my jeans wet." [ light laughter ] >> steve: jeans and -- is "swamp gas" the name of a a song? or "cattails?" >> jimmy: no spoilers. i don't want to say what other songs are on the record. we'll talk to blake about it. >> steve: don't spoil it for anybody. >> jimmy: but, yeah, he probably sat in the marsh, got all wet jeans. that's the worst. 'cause that's very -- takes a long time to dry wet jeans. >> steve: no, especially when you're in a swamp. >> jimmy: yeah. so he's in there. yeah, he wrote all these songs there. >> steve: then he tried to drain the swamp. >> jimmy: "turnin' me on." >> steve: "turnin' me on" is one of the songs? >> jimmy: "turnin' me on" is one of the songs. so he's dreaming. [ laughter ] >> steve: daydreaming. >> jimmy: what else you supposed to do but dream? >> steve: yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: you can't stop -- >> steve: dream big dreams. >> jimmy: people from dreaming. >> steve: yeah. that's what america's all about. >> jimmy: "texoma shore." it's a real place. >> steve: is it? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] and we're going to have blake shelton is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "texoma shore." i love blake. oh, man. i hope -- he can't cancel right now, can he? >> steve: no. [ light laughter ] we turned the monitor off. >> jimmy: plus, she's one of the funniest people. oh, my goodness. from the nbc comedy "great news", andrea martin is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: "sctv"! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: she's the greatest. >> steve: she's the best. >> jimmy: "my big fat greek wedding." hey guys, we're all striving for the same thing. inner peace, serenity, to be our best selves. with that in mind, it's time for a new segment called "monday motivation." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> this is monday motivation. >> jimmy: so, over the weekend, i asked you guys to send us some original inspirational quotes from you guys. we got a lot of great ones. now i would like to share some of my favorites, so that we can start our week with good vibes. you ready? [ cheers ] here we we go. this one's from @matthewlindquist. he says -- [ light laughter ] ♪ "reach for the stars. settle for the top of the stairs." [ laughter and applause ] that's not bad. >> steve: i like that one. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. this next one's from claudia m. lab. she says -- ♪ "be the kind of person you pretend to be in your tinder bio." [ laughter and applause ] very helpful. this one is from @nickbar02774763. >> steve: oh, 63. okay. i thought it was 62. >> jimmy: you knew the other nick bar? >> steve: i know nick bar 0277 -- >> jimmy: yeah, i got you. yeah, yeah, yeah. he says -- ♪ [ light laughter ] "if you think you're too small to be noticed, you're clearly never been that one piece of lego on the floor." [ applause ] that hurts. that hurts. this one's from @curlygirleats. she says -- ♪ "today you're looking 'no filter' good." [ applause ] this last one here is from @jesssupey06. she says -- ♪ "if you don't count today, it's a four-day week." [ applause ] yeah. fantastic. that's all the time we have for our "monday motivations." thank you, thank you so much. a little monday motivation. not bad. i want to say i'm sorry if i seem a little off today. it's just -- i don't know if it's because halloween is tomorrow. but some pretty scary stuff has been happening around the office lately. here, take a look. [ ding ] [ ding ] >> jimmy: "trump declares himself king of earth"? [ ding ] "trump outlaws peacocks, no explanation." [ ding ] "trump: u.s. will start deporting ugly people"? it's everywhere. i can't escape. >> steve: hey, jimmy! you all right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what's up? >> jimmy: nothing. it's just -- >> steve: what? ♪ [ light laughter ] dude, what's wrong? hey! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ugh! >> hey, jimmy, did you hear that trump wants to move america closer to the sun so he can be warm? >> jimmy: ahh! >> oh, okay. ♪ >> president trump -- >> donald trump -- >> donald trump just called japan the greatest city in china. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, quest. >> questlove: you like my hair? [ light laughter ] >> trump, trump, trump. >> trump! >> trump. >> trump, trump! >> jimmy: oh, what's up, man? >> oh, hey, what's up, dude? >> trump, trump, trump. >> trump. >> trump. >> trump. >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. i just feel like trump is everywhere. i can't get away from that guy. >> tell me about it. >> jimmy: ahh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy halloween, everybody! we'll be right back with blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ this is google home mini. it's got the google assistant in it, so it's super helpful. watch this: "hey google, good morning." "good morning, claire." "it's 72 and sunny." "don't forget to wear some sunscreen." oh, that's nice. it'll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you: "your first meeting is at 9am." and you know how sometimes you're in bed and you can't get out of it until you hear that one song that... "okay, playing your get-out-of-bed playlist." ♪ yeah, it can do that too. it's google home mini and the rest of the google home family. ♪ ♪ that one. this. ♪ ♪ t-mobile's unlimited now includes netflix on us. that's right. netflix on us. get 4 unlimited lines for just $40 bucks each. taxes and fees included. and now netflix included. so go ahead. binge on us. another reason why t-mobile is america's best unlimited network. quartrback. they traded for jimmy garoppolo. he )s the highly coveted backup quarterback for tom brady. he could make his 49ers debut -- as early as this sunday. the official annohcmenrt expected tuesday. and are you ready for the rain? it )ll be a dry halloween -- but by the end of the week -- we )ll be wet. download our free weather app at nbc bay area dot com to see jeff ranieri )s updated forecast. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our lead guest tonight is one of the biggest stars in country music, with 24 number one songs to his credit and more to come off his new album, "texoma shore", right here. it's out this friday. he's also -- you can see him on "the voice", which airs monday and tuesday nights at 8:00 pm. please welcome a good man, mr. blake shelton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love you. >> you still have people that come here. >> jimmy: i do have people that come here, yeah. people enjoy this show. they enjoy watching it. they enjoy having you on. thank you for coming back, because i love having you on. i really do. i want to go -- >> i love being here. [ laughter ] i also saw the 15-minute segment you did -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> making fun of my damn album cover. >> jimmy: i didn't make -- i'm not making fun of it. >> can you just try to help me sell records for once? do something that promotes me? >> jimmy: i just didn't know the situation. what is the situation? are you, like, thinking about what to do with the boat? [ laughter ] what -- what are you thinking here, about memories of where you are? is this "texoma shore?" >> right now, i'm -- i'm thinking about wishing i was there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, i know. but are you here now? is this photo of "texoma shore"? >> of course it is. that's the "texoma shore." >> jimmy: but what -- but what are you thinking about? some other place? [ laughter ] were memories of growing up, "texoma shore", young little blakey. [ laughter ] running around with his short shorts on. [ laughter ] "ma, pa, i'm here! am i late for dinner?" "don't worry about it blake. we're having the same thing we have every night." [ laughter ] "get over here, blake. get in here. get me a whiskey!" "what's the problem, dad? you never loved me." [ laughter ] "i don't even love you right now. get over here, son. "come here, blakey." "i love you, ma. i love you, dad." is that type of thing -- is that the type of -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: "texoma shore" is a a real place. i did not know that. >> it's lake texoma in oklahoma. come on, man. [ cheers ] yeah, see? >> jimmy: that's two people cheered. [ laughter ] >> what are you talking about? >> jimmy: i really didn't -- never heard of this. >> lake texoma. so it's the border of oklahoma and texas, lake tex -- >> jimmy: i get it now. >> -- oma. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. but i thought maybe you made it up. made up a word or something. [ laughter ] you're an artist. >> that's true. >> jimmy: you do things like that. you know, you make up words and stuff like that. >> would you interview me, for god's sakes? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's talk about this. you're going on tour. >> thank god. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. >> jimmy: you're going on tour. >> talk about it. >> jimmy: yeah. brett eldridge. i love brett eldridge. trace atkins. >> you know, trace atkins? >> jimmy: that's my dude. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's taller than you. >> a little bit. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and carly pierce. >> carly pierce is a new -- >> jimmy: shorter than you. >> new girl coming out in country music. >> jimmy: yeah. >> got a huge hit out there. >> jimmy: now you can go to blakeshelton.com, which i do every day. >> of course. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i just click refresh on my computer, just to see what you're up to, man. >> you do? >> jimmy: yeah, blakeshelton.com. recipes and stuff like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know, pinterest pages. how to decorate your dorm room and stuff. [ laughter ] i love your website. i'm always on your website. i know that you have a a restaurant called "old red." >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: you do, for real. you opened a restaurant. >> that's true. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're teeing me up here now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i've never been there. >> you don't ask a question like a normal interviewer. ask me a question. you just say it, and i didn't even get a chance to say it. >> jimmy: "old red" is the name of the restaurant. >> "old red" is the name of the new restaurant in -- >> jimmy: the new restaurant is called "old red." >> this is unbelievable. even the band -- >> jimmy: just an ironic name for a new restaurant. here it is, old -- here's an old new restaurant. [ laughter ] already my mind is boggled. i go in. i don't know what to expect. what do i go in -- when i go in to "old red." >> old red is the new restaurant slash bar music venue that is in tishomingo, oklahoma. i know you've heard of -- no. i know you've heard of tishomingo. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're trying to catch me or something. >> i've talked about it on this show. >> jimmy: yeah. i've always listened -- >> this show. >> yeah. i always listen to you. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tishomingo, that's where you live. >> yes. >> jimmy: you have a house there. and do you have a boat? [ laughter ] just setting you up. because "texoma shore." how far away are you from the shore? [ laughter ] how far away -- >> i'm not going to give you the location of my damn house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just have to google it. >> don't worry about it. don't worry about it. >> jimmy: what do you know about running a restaurant? why would you do something like this? [ laughter ] >> what do you know about having a restaurant. >> jimmy: i would never run a a restaurant. >> you never had a restaurant. >> jimmy: no. no. >> jimmy: no. >> i think i might have, maybe, almost invested in one. >> just didn't. >> jimmy: well, it's a bad investment. [ laughter ] i'm just saying, no, i mean it's really hard to run and maintain restaurants. i mean, i don't know why you would do this. but i hope it's a hit. i mean, in a -- [ laughter ] people -- everyone in tichiwanga should go to -- [ laughter ] "old red." you know? you go in, you go, "i want the usual." [ laughter ] is it burgers and stuff, wings? [ laughter ] i go into "old red", right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i've never been there before. what do i see? i walk in. what do i see? >> you see tables. you see a bar. [ laughter ] you see a -- there's a stage back there. >> jimmy: is there really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: live music? >> of course. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. i thought it was a restaurant like it's -- i thought it was like an olive garden. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because you're opening another one, i hear. >> another "old red", yes. in nashville. >> jimmy: in nashville. "old red", when you're here, you're family. [ laughter ] >> you made up a slogan for us. >> jimmy: yeah. where are you going to open it? >> in nashville, tennessee. [ laughter ] did i say that wrong? did i say nashville --? >> jimmy: no, i've heard of nashville. it's great. i'm sure i've heard of the other location. [ laughter ] i'm excited for you. and can tell that you're psyched. >> can we play a game or something? >> jimmy: no, no, please, no. [ applause ] >> can we do karaoke? >> let's talk about -- no. >> what about karaoke? >> jimmy: talk about "texoma shore." "texoma shore." this is out this friday. so you can preorder it now. you go to blakeshelton.com. or you go to, probably, apple. apple probably has it. itunes has it. >> jimmy: you know what? i want to talk about "the voice." [ laughter ] because this is an interview and i am doing -- >> you did a great job. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ laughter ] who's a special guest coming up? kelly clarkson. >> kelly clarkson. who's going to be a coach -- next season. >> jimmy: i love kelly clarkson. she's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> i do too, i do too. she's been a friend for a long time. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yep. >> jimmy: i think i met her like right after she -- she won "american idol." >> did you really? >> jimmy: she knows a thing or two about those singing shows. she'd be a great -- >> she'll be fun to beat. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so you're going up against her? >> yeah. when she's a coach next season, i'm going to be going up against her. >> jimmy: oh no. >> do you hear anything i say to you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. i have a clip. here's blake shelton and kelly clarkson in an early look at next monday's episode of "the voice." >> you've been drinking already, haven't you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: check this out. >> a little bit. >> so before you beat me next year, will you help me this year? >> yeah. >> okay. i don't think you're going to beat me but here's why. >> are you serious? >> i think you're going to pass out during the blind auditions because you can't stop talking long enough to breathe. >> yeah? >> this is a -- >> so you'll be in the middle of a pitch, literally, face first on your buzzer. >> nope. no. >> is it possible that you talk more than miley? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's coming on the show. >> jimmy: talk about "texoma shore." "texoma shore." these are some of the songs on here. >> 'kay. >> jimmy: what are you -- you're turning me on. >> that's a song on there, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you think i was just saying that? [ laughter ] "turning me on" is there. you got "money." you got "at the house", you're doing today. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's the song you're doing tonight. >> i'm doing that tonight right here on your show. >> jimmy: "at the house." we're psyched that you're doing that. >> "at the house." i know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's one of my favorite songs on the album. >> is it? >> jimmy: i love that. >> what else do you like? ♪ the the house in the middle of the creek ♪ ♪ the house in the middle of the creek♪ ♪ at texoma shore that was where we used to meet ♪ [ cheers and applause ] great song. it feels almost like i've heard it before. that's how much i enjoy the song. >> i feel like super dave when i'm on this show. you make me feel like super dave osborne when i'm on this damn show. >> jimmy: that's a good thing, yeah. you're like a super-hero. yeah. no, i like that. i like -- "i'll name the dogs" is a big hit. i like that song. >> will you sing a little bit of that for us? [ laughter ] ♪ i'll name a dog i'll name him spotty and rex i have never had sex♪ stuff like that. that's a good song. that's a blake shelton song. [ laughter ] i do -- i do like you. i'm actually a big fan of yours. for real. i love "i'll name the dogs." i really do. >> thank you, jimmy. thank you. >> jimmy: let me show you how much i love it. quest? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ girl, it's high time, i tell ya no more messin' around time to lay these cards on the table and just throw it on out♪ ♪ i'm talkin' you and me with the same street name same last name same everything it's a real thing, a how i feel♪ ♪ thing so i'mma go on and take a swing you find the spot and i'll find the money you be the♪ ♪ pretty and i'll be the funny you plant the flowers i'll plant the kisses baby let's get right down to business♪ ♪ i'll hang the pictures you hang the stars you pick the paint i'll pick a guitar sing you a song out♪ ♪ there with the crickets and the frogs you name the babies and i'll name the dogs♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love your stuff. and when i hear that, it makes me want to kick back and go like back to texoma shore. >> you look good in that hat, by the way. don't y'all think he looks good in that -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i look like somebody. who do i look like? >> you look a little like woody from "toy story." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would you like to play a game? blake and i are playing -- >> oh, my god. yes, please. >> jimmy: caramel apple roulette after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ dog: barking ] [ "more more more" by the artist dagny ] ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more ♪ how do you like it ♪ how do you like your love ♪ uh oh oh ♪ how do you like it ♪ tell me how you like it ♪ how do you like it ♪ more, more, more - what's that? - well this is my equation foi've developed the 4 ps. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! haw! ♪ yeehah! break through! break through! sir jeremdilly, dilly.true friend of the crown. dilly, dilly! dilly, dilly! here's to the friends you can always count on. i want ycome on mom!t easy. go slow. ♪ let's go! ♪ mom! slow down! for the ones who keep pushing. always unstoppable. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back! we're hanging out with blake shelton! [ cheers and applause ] blake shelton. new record's out friday. you can see him on "the voice." blake and i are about to go head-to-head in a game of caramel apple roulette. higgins', would you like to explain how this works? >> what is it? >> steve: yes, jimmy. here -- would appear to be 12 caramel apples. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: but don't be fooled. eight of these are apples. four are raw onions. [ audience ews ] you and blake will take turns taking one caramel apple and taking a bite. you won't know which are apples and which are onions. once you choose an apple -- >> what the hell are you doing? >> steve: i don't know, everything's off today. [ light laughter ] once you choose an apple, you must take a bite and swallow it. no put backs. first one to bite into two onions loses. blake, as guest on the show, you will choose the first caramel apple. >> this is the dumbest thing. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] right, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: which one? which are apples? >> can i choose it right now? there's a two -- >> steve: yes, which are onions? which are apples? >> that one looks good. >> jimmy: that one looks like an apple. >> steve: that looks like a -- >> you know what, i'm calling bull crap on you. i'm calling bull crap on you. >> steve: good luck! >> now wait, if this is an onion, do i lose, or i get another chance? >> steve: no, you get two onions. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: go for it man. take a bite, and have faith. >> i'm only here 'cause seth meyers was booked. >> jimmy: yeah, i understand. exactly. [ laughter ] i know, i heard this. it's an onion. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] blake, i'm so happy you're here. >> steve: good luck. >> jimmy: all right. >> steve: which are apples -- >> i'm not going to sell one album off this stupid crap. [ laughter ] nobody care about this? >> jimmy: happy halloween, dude. happy hallo -- it feels, it feels a little heavy. it feels like an apple. i feel good. i'm confident -- pretty confident dude. things are going great. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> that's more like it. now we got some drama! it's like the world series, buddy. 1-1. yeah! >> steve: caramelized onions. >> jimmy: that's disgusting, how'd you swallow this? [ light laughter ] >> stop fingering everything. what are you doing? [ laughter ] what is it? what are you doing? >> jimmy: all right. >> is it good? >> jimmy: oh, it's disgusting. now, blake, pick -- pick that one. [ light laughter ] >> no, that didn't work. >> steve: oh, come on, that guy. oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 1-1, like the world series. good luck. go get 'em. feels like an apple. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that is the game! ladies and gentlemen -- thank you for come -- thank you for coming. blake shelton performing a a brand-new song at the end of the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] andrea martin joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ every time you call on me ♪ i drop what i do ♪ you are my best friend ♪ and we've got some things to do ♪ ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah-ea-ea-eah ♪ discover card. i justis this for real?match, yep. we match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. whoo! i got my money! hard to contain yourself, isn't it? uh huh! let it go! whoo! get a dollar-for-dollar match at the end of your first year. only from discover. it all started when sophia found the perfect little mug at marshalls. then piece by piece, surprise by surprise, she built the greatest guest bathroom ever. did she expect to get so much bang for so few bucks? no. but great things happen when you choose surprise. dnew charmin ultra soft! much bang♪for so few bucks? it's softer than ever. new charmin ultra soft is softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird. enjoy the go! with charmin! introducing degree ultracle♪r black + white saves your white clothes from yellow stains... ...and black clothes from white marks still with 48 hour sweat protection. degree ultraclear black + white it won't let you down ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a multiple emmy and tony-winning performer who stars in the comedy "great news" which airs thursday nights at 9:30 right here on nbc. everybody please welcome andrea martin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! i am such a fan. >> thank you. that was so great. ♪ i'll bring the babies you bring the dog ♪ >> jimmy: you bring the dog. yeah, we got -- thank you. i appreciate it. >> that was so amazing, and i loved you dancing. okay, good. >> jimmy: i love you so much. i'm so happy you're here. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: i've been a fan since "sctv" which i believe was one of yours -- that probably one of your first -- that was your breakout thing, right? >> probably. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: one of them. you had many breakout -- you went on to do -- i remember seeing -- i don't remember when i saw "sctv." i don't know -- when was it on? because i'm like -- was it on nbc? >> it was on nbc. it was on after "saturday night live." you know, not many people -- well, if you were a doctor or a a stoned musician, you saw it. [ laughter ] because it was on at 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, "sctv" had -- it was you and catherine o'hara, and eugene levy, and rick moranis, and martin short. >> john candy. >> jimmy: john candy, oh, i love john candy. >> yeah, god bless him. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, joe flahrety. but you -- >> dave thomas. yeah. >> jimmy: you would do these sketches and no live audience, right? >> no, no live audience. yeah, we did them for each other. we shot long days. and in fact, so we shot for eight years, and you know, we never heard any laughter at all. and then in the '90s, we were at the aspen comedy festival and they were playing -- we were being honored, and they played the sketches. in back of us there was an audience, and that was the first time that we ever heard laughs for the sketches. so it was -- it was a pretty heartwarming moment. >> jimmy: what they did was funny. i knew it was. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were just brilliant. amazing. >> thank you so much. thank you. >> jimmy: you've gone to do broadway, two tony awards. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: not too shabby. [ cheers and applause ] how cool is that? >> thank you. >> jimmy: movies as well and we'll get to "great news," because you're fantastic. and that was great. >> well, we have tina -- >> jimmy: tina fey, come on. >> we have this is common, okay. tina, that's crazy. >> jimmy: no, tina fey -- >> can we talk about tina fey for one second? >> jimmy: it's almost insane right? >> can we actually take the entire segment and talk about tina fey? no, wait a minute. she's got a broadway show that's out, "mean girls." >> jimmy: "mean girls," yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> she executive produces "kimmy schmidt," she writes on it. she executive produces "great news." she has written a script for it. she did the first three shows. she's about to do another one. >> jimmy: she does "saturday night live." >> she does "saturday night live." how about she wrote a skit from l.a. to new york and did that -- did you see that cake eating sketch that she did? >> jimmy: oh, that was amazing. i loved it, that was unbelievable. >> she did amazing. amazing mom. amazing wife. i just -- and she's so calm when you're with her, it's like -- she's like the comedy whisperer. she's like cesar millan. you know -- i'm like really nervous, and i'm like, i don't know my lines and all she has to do is go -- like that. and i'm like, okay. yes, ms. fey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. >> whatever you want. >> jimmy: she is the greatest. i love her. you know how much i love her so much. but yeah, she just puts out quality stuff. >> yeah, yeah, it's amazing. >> jimmy: like writing a sketch and then just putting it out. it's all quality. great, great stuff. >> yeah, it's all -- and it's all really, you know, if i had to do everything that she does, i'd be a monster. but she's really -- >> jimmy: yeah, i'd be cranky. >> i'd be really cranky. >> jimmy: i'd be cranky, like, get away! i just wrote ten things. what are you doing? >> yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. "don't you understand, i've got a lot on my mind!" that's what i'd be like. and she's just kind of chill, you know. yeah. >> jimmy: here's one of the reasons i love you, because i read that you based your characters off people that you know in childhood. that's why you can do these characters. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. everything -- almost everything i've ever done has been based on my childhood. i brought some pictures with me, right? so, here's -- here's -- my goodness. there are some pictures of me there. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> so this -- so everything i've ever done -- this is me as aunt voula, 45-year-old aunt voula in "my big fat greek wedding." >> jimmy: absolutely. yeah, you were fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> and here i am, three decades earlier, at my high school prom, looking like the 45-year-old aunt voula. [ laughter ] so there's 45-year-old aunt voula and 45-year-old aunt voula. >> jimmy: yeah see, that's the character. >> character. >> jimmy: that's the range there. >> that's the range. >> jimmy: i want to talk about "great news." >> okay, yay. >> jimmy: because we had nicole richie on the show. >> yeah, i love her. >> jimmy: no, we love her too. >> she taught me how to be chill, which i'm not doing tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she taught you how to be chill? >> yeah, 'cause she's like, "yeah, you just walk on. just sit down." >> jimmy: that's not bad. >> like that. [ cheers and applause ] here's what -- here's what she would never do. um, let me just pull my -- yeah. >> jimmy: pulling everything down. no, i can't do chill. >> nicole richie, briga heelan plays my daughter. john michael higgins, horatio sanz. >> jimmy: i love horatio sanz so much. obviously, he's like, my favorite dude. >> love adam campbell, please god, let me not forget everybody. and nicole richie, i love the show. >> jimmy: nicole richie, we've had her on the show, and she comes out like, in a flowy dress. and she kind of does this. and you go, ladies and gentlemen, nicole richie and she goes -- >> yeah, look at that. turns around. >> jimmy: yeah, and she flows. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what? i'm going to do that god damn it. >> jimmy: yeah, you do it. that's the way to do it. >> wait a minute. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, from the show, "great news," here is andrea martin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> she wouldn't do that. ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that's how you -- unbelievable. wow. andrea martin. i want to show a clip of "great news." so everybody can check it out. this week's episode. here's andrea martin. check it out. >> hey, mom, i can't watch boost tonight. i don't really feel well. i think i ate something weird. >> really? that's not like you. all the boys used to call you the iron stomach and pay good money to watch you eat. well, i hope you feel better. we can watch it tomorrow night. ♪ 911, it's carol. my daughter just lied to me, which means she is in grave danger. would you connect me, please, to liam neeson's line. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> yay! >> jimmy: man, i love you. i'm so happy you're here. i'm the biggest, biggest fan. andrea martin, right there. "great news," airs thursdays -- thursdays at 9:30pm. andrea martin on nbc. we'll be right back with a a performance from blake shelton. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when you say wallpaper, most people think doilies and cabbage roses. we wanted to make wallpaper cool again. one of the greatest challenges of running a small business is having to do a little bit of everything. office 365 really lets us collaborate in real time. once a client sees a 3d rendering, they get it. who knew there would be so much math with wallpaper? the math feature is so amazing. love, love, love teams. it simplifies communication from everywhere. it makes our 10-person company feel like 50. i like that math. ♪ that one. this. ♪ ♪ dad: molly, can you please take out the trash? (sigh) ( ♪ ) dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ ) mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ ) molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ ) ♪ this is google home mini. it's the google assistant for your house... ...so it gets you. if you mumble... [minion mumbling] ...it gets you. if you talk like this: "add worcestershire sauce to my cart." it still gets you. "okay, adding now." and if you're like: hey google, play my love playlist." ♪ ah, really? play my love playlist. ♪ oh yeah, it also knows the difference between you and him. it's google home mini... ...and the rest of the google home family. ♪ this this this this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. what's your body of proof? feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "at the house", once again, blake shelton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ don't need no tab don't need no visa no bouncer looking like a wannabe vin diesel don't need your friends ♪ ♪ all getting jealous watching you walk in looking so good that you could sell it uh-uh, not again ♪ ♪ girl let's get this party started where the party always ends got a yellow backdoor porch party light ♪ ♪ got a speaker in the window playing barry white you and me out here swaying star-gazing ♪ ♪ gonna bring it back in break the candles out ♪ ♪ get the mood turned on and the lights out lose a little something♪ ♪ black and lacy in the couch at the house ♪ ♪ don't need no plans no reservations nobody calling me up saying ♪ ♪ "where you at, man? we waiting" we can keep it on chill or get a little obnoxious uh-huh ♪ ♪ go ahead and get your freak on, ain't nobody gonna stop us uh-uh girl just the essentials ♪ ♪ you and me a little smithworks rockin' out this residential got a yellow backdoor ♪ ♪ porch party light got a speaker in the window playing barry white you and me out here ♪ ♪ swaying star-gazing gonna bring it back in break the candles out get the mood turned on and the lights out ♪ ♪ lose a little something black and lacy in the couch at the house ♪ ♪ at the house uh-uh not again girl let's get this party ♪ ♪ started where the party always ends got a yellow backdoor porch party light got a speaker in the ♪ ♪ window playing barry white you and me out here swaying star-gazing gonna bring it back in ♪ ♪ break the candles out get the mood turned on and the lights out lose a little something black and lacy in ♪ ♪ the couch at the house yeah, at the house that's what it's all about ♪ ♪ mmm, yeah at the house ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's how you do it, right there. that's how you do it. blake shelton. "texoma shore" is out this friday. catch him on "the voice" monday and tuesday nights on nbc. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ at stanford health care, we can now repair complex aortic aneurysms without invasive surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. and if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. if we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you. what if home security was different? what if it looked different? what if the measure of working, was that you never had to think about it. ♪ what if it was so easy to use, you actually used it. [alarm] you have 3 minutes to exit. what if it gave you time, and what you really need from home security. a sense of security. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to the one and only blake shelton, right here! [ cheers and applause ] andrea martin! and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] i got onion. i got onion. i got onion. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. seth meyers is right upstairs -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- heidi klum, senator bernie sanders, music from imagine dragons, featuring the 8g band with anton fig. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everyone. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's fantastic to hear. in that case let's get to the news. well, trump was right. we have started saying merry christmas again. [ laughter ] president trump's former campaign chairman, paul manafort was charged today with twelve

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