And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 731, west tennessee steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats what you want i love you guys. Hey, looking good. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Well, heres what everybodys talking about, you guys. Some good news out of washington, you guys. Today, President Trump announced a new plan to fund the government for the next three months. [ laughter ] thats right, trumps going to pay his taxes. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, i know, its a a good idea. Its a good idea. I think its going to work. Its so crazy. Did you see this today . Dennis rodman offered to straighten things out between trump and kim jongun. [ laughter ] people were like, i cant believe im saying this, but lets give it a shot. I mean, i think [ cheers and applause ] how weird can it get . I mean, lets just do it. Meanwhile, disneys ceo bob iger spoke out against trumps decision to end the daca immigration program, calling it cruel and misguided. And so to get back at disney, trump deported all the singing dolls from its a small world. [ laughter and applause ] theyre just theyre gone. You just take a boat you just ride a boat through the whole thing. Actually, i read that some white house officials dont think trump understands what ending daca really means. In response, trump said, i know, but why dont you tell me so i know that you know . [ laughter and applause ] oh, and former press Secretary Sean Spicer will give his first paid speech this month here in new york city. Theyre saying you should get tickets now because theres only all of them left. So [ laughter and applause ] well, people are still excited about the news that Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their third child. And for more [ cheers ] for more royal baby news, we now go to our annoying british correspondent, nigel duffy. Thank you nor being here nigel. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] very good, yes. Yeah, thank you, jimmy. My delicate bones are quivering with delight to talk about my very favorite thing, the royal family. [ laughter ] jimmy nigel, what can you tell us about the third royal baby . Mmhmm, yes, everyone is speculating over whether the third royal baby will be a boy or a girl. Some believe it will be a boy, while others think it will be a a girl. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, those are the only two options there. Yeah, very good. [ light laughter ] jimmy okay, what else can you tell us, nigel . Mmhmm, very good, yes, everyone is speculating that if it is a boy, it will grow up to be a man. But if it is a girl, it will grow up to be a woman. [ laughter ] jimmy yes, i see, thats correct. Thats called growing. Indeed. [ laughter ] jimmy what else, nigel . Anything . Mmhmm, there we are. Yes, attaboy, yes. [ laughter ] everyone is speculating over how big the baby will be when it is born. Some believe it will be 18 inches while others believe it will be 19 inches. And yet some believe it will be 20 inches. While others believe it will be 18 or even 19 inches jimmy okay, all right, nigel, nigel, please we get it, we get it. Thank you, nigel, very good. Mmhmm, yes, very good, attaboy, yes, very good, yes, there we are. [ laughter ] mmhmm, yes, here we go, yes, attaboy, yes, there we are, yes, very good, yes, mmhmm. [ laughter ] jimmy nigel, why are you doing that . Im sorry, jimmy, this is how i breathe. Jimmy there you go. Annoying british correspondent, nigel duffy, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, check this out. I saw that starbucks has started selling a new sushi burrito. [ audience ews ] when asked how much it costs, starbucks said, dont worry, youll pay for it later. [ laughter and applause ] it comes with a key to the bathroom. This is very interesting here. According to nintendos newest official profile for mario, he isnt actually a plumber any more. [ audience ohs ] i was just playing some super mario the other day and i think i noticed that he got a a new job. Take a look at this. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy this is kind of funny. A man in california got stuck inside his apartment after a a ups driver wedged a package under his doorknob. [ laughter ] luckily he was set free when a a fedex driver threw a package at the door and knocked it loose. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, a guy got stuck in his apartment after a ups guy stuck a package against his door. I guess none of his neighbors came to help him when they heard him shouting, help, my package is stuck guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very nice, very nice. Guys, tomorrow night is a big night for nbc because it is the nfl season opener. Steve woah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im psyched. Im getting ready. Im getting into it. Im really going to get into it this year. Steve this is the year . Jimmy this year im mr. Football. Steve youre super football guy . Jimmy im super football guy. [ talking over each other ] steve you told me it was the kansas city chefs. Jimmy thats not true. [ light laughter ] its Kansas City Chiefs steve right. Jimmy versus the patriots. Steve okay. Jimmy thats tomorrow night. Kickoff is 8 30 p. M. And football is my life now. [ light laughter ] my new thing. Steve yeah. Jimmy well, im doing fantasy football, i do that. Do you guys do that . Fantasy football. [ cheers and applause ] the draft is tonight. Steve hmm. Jimmy yeah. Auto pick. [ laughter ] steve you gots to. Jimmy yeah, i got to. Papa always told me, trust the computer. Steve yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy jimmy uh yeah. So im doing auto pick tonight. Steve right. Jimmy im going to get my fantasy football. And then you just root for yourself. [ light laughter ] steve then youre done, right . Jimmy yeah, you dont even have a team anymore. [ talking over each other ] believe in yourself. Steve yeah. Jimmy so ill watch the game and ill root for these players that i might not even root for. Steve yeah. Jimmy but now im going to root for i dont know who yet. But ill know by tomorrow steve after auto pick. Jimmy who i care after auto pick what the computer tells me to root for. [ laughter ] no, im going to do im going to watch the game, i got it all set up, ready to go. I got my popcorn. Steve right. Jimmy you got your glasses. Luke warm buttermilk. Steve warm buttermilk. Jimmy yep. [ laughter ] steve chunk of lard. Put a chunk of lard in there, yeah. Jimmy chunk of lard. Truffle pizza. [ laughter ] you got to. Sit on your bean bag chair. Steve yeah. Jimmy grab your Sports Illustrated foosball phone. Steve oh, yeah. Jimmy and you watch the game. And then you check us out after the game because we have a a giant show. Reese witherspoon is on our show tomorrow night. Steve woah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy reese witherspoon, after the game. Steve wow jimmy you watch the game, you stay tuned. And then guess what we have for music . Steve who . Jimmy u2 is going to be joining us. Steve no way, what . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that was great, i like that. That was really good. U2, were going to talk to bono and the edge and then theyre going to perform not one, but two songs for us. Steve oh jimmy thatll be a good one. [ cheers and applause ] giant show tomorrow night, nbc football and our show. Its just going to be giant. But first we have a big show tonight. He has a brand new show on fox called the orville. Seth macfarlane is here [ cheers and applause ] talented dude, man. Also joining us tonight, shes an incredibly talented actress. Youve seen her in mad men and the handmaids tale. Now top of the lake is back for a second installment. Its supposed to be really good. Steve ooh. Jimmy Elisabeth Moss is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] then we are featuring some amazing kid inventors. You know how much i love kids. Steve you love kids. Jimmy well, i love inventions. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy its a segment called fallonventions. So were going to do that tonight. Were going to have kids come out, kid inventors. [ cheers and applause ] they have new ideas, theyre good. And we got great music tonight from thomas rhett, right here. This guy. Steve woah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy life changes. Guys, its time to take look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] pros and cons and pros and cons and pros jimmy tonight well be taking a look at the pros and cons of the end of summer 2017. Steve aw. Jimmy last weekend was labor day weekend, which marked the end of the summer. So lets take a look at the pros and cons of the end of summer 2017. Here we go. Pro, you learned a lot this summer. Con, like how to mumble the words to despactio. Its like, oh, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] [ mumbling ] despacito yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] its really loud. Yeah, we get it. Yeah you know the song. Steve you got it. You know it. Jimmy totally [ laughter ] pro, helping your kids with their homework. Con, frantically googling how to do math when theyre not looking. Oh, wait steve oh. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy how to do math . Steve yeah. Jimmy pro, watching the leaves fall off one by one until theyre all gone. Con, watching the same thing happen to trumps cabinet. Oh, yeah. Steve woah [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] jimmy not as scenic, but its happening. Steve oh, its fall. Jimmy goodbye. Steve wall. Jimmy pro, according to the farmers almanac, summer doesnt end until september 22nd. Con, according to cvs and rite aid, halloween is tomorrow. Steve yeah. Jimmy i know, is it [ laughter and applause ] is it already tomorrow . Steve thats a lot of candy. [ light laughter ] jimmy pro, taking out your fall clothes and trying them on. Con, wondering if you gained weight or somehow accidentally shopped at baby gap. [ laughter and applause ] pro, dont wear white after labor day. Steve ooh. Jimmy con, especially if youre the president. Wait, what oh, boy. Steve wow [ audience oohs ] uhoh jimmy you cant unsee that, yeah. Steve you cant. Jimmy you cant unsee it. [ light laughter ] and finally, pro, telling yourself that the changing of the seasons is just part of natures way of accepting change. Con, realizing you should probably stop smoking weed by yourself. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] thats the pros and cons, everybody. Well be right back with fallonventions. Come on back [ cheers and applause ] we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. We are here. For one reason. To leave. A mark. Lexus high performance. With 5. 0liter v8s and sport directshift transmissions. Experience a shift in the natural order. Experience amazing. Unstop right there im about to pop a cap of mmm fresh in that washer. With unstopables inwash scent boosters by downy. And if you want, pour a little more. Ah, its so fresh. And its going to last from wash to. Wear for up to 12 weeks. Right, freshness for weeks unstopables by downy. For a fresh too feisty to quit. Shop hundreds of epic deals no coupons needed womens sonoma and apt. 9 tees just 5. 99 mens croft barrow polos just 7. 99 and jumping beans for baby only 5. 00. Stock up save big and get kohls cash. Thursday through sunday only at kohls. We, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. We want hd. And every box and dvr. All included. Because we dont like surprises. Yeah. Like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. And talented. Really. And british. Switch from cable to directv. Get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for 25 a month. Call 1800directv. Is a struggle to get aid to small caribbean islands devastated by the storm s record winds. We re tweeting updates. Reveal plus a sighting of an escaped inmate. Irene mitchell was spotted today in rural livermore. Mitchell and another inmate walked away from the federal Correctional Institute in dublin on monday. That story is updated on our website. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. If you love seeing new inventions, and you love brilliant kids, then youre really going to love this. Thats right, its time for another round of ges fallonventions. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] announcer welcome to ges fallonventions. Jimmy fallons night of invention. Jimmy now, i love inventions, and im okay with kids. So i got together with ge, we found some of the best and brightest kids out there. I think youre going to be amazed at what we came up with. So lets meet our first inventor. Come on over here. Patrick, get over here. Hey [ cheers and applause ] patrick, how are you . Nice to meet you, my friend. [ light laughter ] where are you from . Whats your full name, where are you from . How old are you . My name is Patrick Andrew joyner, and im 11. And im from augusta, georgia. [ cheers ] jimmy thats right. Augusta, georgia. Are you a golfer . Do you enjoy golfing . Yeah. Im not very good at it. [ light laughter ] jimmy it doesnt matter. Have you ever been to the masters . Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy patrick, what is your invention . What did you bring for me here . The rake hands jimmy the rake hands. 5,000. Jimmy 5,000 . [ light laughter ] i dont know if thats even legal to have here. This is the newest version, the 5,000 . Its the only version. [ laughter ] jimmy i guess its the only version, yep. They started with the 5,000. All right. So how did you come up with the idea for rake hands . Well, dad makes me go outside and pick up all the yard waste. So this makes it go by quicker because you just go up, spread out the fingers, and pick up whatever you need to, then trash it. Jimmy show me show me what you got here. Show me how they work here. Lets see. So you get in there, yeah. Look at this. Rake hands. Already this is more efficient. Look at this. [ cheers and applause ] this is great, i like this idea. Rake hands. This is fantastic. This is so much this is you know what it is . Who ever wants to use a rake where you dont have to bend down or do anything, it doesnt hurt your back. This, you get down in there, and you get like, two, three, four leaves, sometimes nothing. Sometimes no leaves. And its just fantastic. Im going to use these all fall. Hey, patrick, thats enough cleaning. I think its perfect. I have an invention i think you should use. Oh . Jimmy yeah, its really good. Now, we all love umbrellas. They keep you dry, but they dont keep you hydrated. Until now. Im talking about the drinkbrella. Its the umbrella that you can drink out of. Ill show you how it works. Patrick climb up there, and be careful with those yeah, those rake hands. Can i take these off . Jimmy yes, please. Okay. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Be careful, patrick. All right. Ready . Jimmy no, im not ready at all. [ laughter ] all right, here we go. Yeah. Go for it, buddy. Make it rain. Rain jimmy all right, good. Now what . Now, look at this. Here we go. Thats enough. Patrick, stop. [ laughter ] patrick look at this. Look at this, how easy this is here. You take this tube [ laughter ] you take a tube. Youre out there, youre thirsty, its raining out. [ laughter ] there you go. Thank you. Thats it. The drinkbrella. [ cheers ] here you go, patrick. Patrick, here. Thank you, patrick. Yeah. Get these rake hands, too, patrick. [ light laughter ] guys, lets meet our next inventor. Emma, everybody. Emma. [ cheers and applause ] hi, emma hi. Jimmy emma, nice to see you. How old are you, and where are you from . Im 18 years old, and im from oakville, ontario, in canada. Jimmy yeah canada, all right [ cheers and applause ] now, i love this, ive seen this invention. I saw this months ago. I saw it in rehearsal, but i think its very important. Great invention. Congratulations. What is this invention . So my invention is called t. I. C. It stands for tongue interface communication. And its a tonguecontrolled computer mouse for individuals with als or any spinal cord conditions that prevent them from communicating or using a a computer. Jimmy how did you come up with this . I had a friend who had als, and so i could see how he had difficulty communicating his needs and wants verbally. Jimmy can you show me how it works . Yeah, for sure. So this is just a regular sports mouth guard. Got it out of my brothers hockey bag. Clean. So it has five buttons attached to it. Jimmy so canada, yeah. [ light laughter ] exactly. So there are five buttons attached to it, and these five buttons move the mouse up, down, left, right, and then click. So this one is left. Jimmy yep. This one is up. Jimmy yeah. This one down. This one right, and then click. Jimmy okay. Yep. Jimmy with your tongue. Can i with your tongue. Jimmy can i try to do it . You absolutely can. Jimmy you have it hooked up to the computer, right . I do. Jimmy yep. We have a plastic bag, of course, trusty plastic bag. To eliminate any exposure to circuitry. Jimmy absolutely. So, uh yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy i thought it was like a so its circuitry. If it shocks, its okay. Jimmy am i going to get shocked by this . Only 3. 3 volts. [ laughter ] jimmy thats all it takes for me to yeah. Its the current that kills you. Jimmy all right. Here we go. Yeah, exactly. Yep. A bit of a mouthful, eh . [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] [ muffled ] amazing. This is amazing. Thank you. Jimmy this is amazing. I really do love this idea. But i want you to see an invention that i made. [ laughter ] hamburgers are messy and hard to eat, am i right . Right. So as soon as you start eating, what happens . You go oh, man worst bbq ever, right . Exactly. Jimmy everything falls out, that doesnt happen with hot dogs. Which led me to create the burg dog. Check this thing out. Yeah, look at this. Its a hamburger thats shaped like a hot dog. [ laughter ] so its got the delicious taste of a hamburger, but its clean and easy to eat like a hot dog. And heres the best part, it looks delicious. [ laughter ] why not call it a hamdog . Jimmy why not what . Why not call it a hamdog . Jimmy yeah. Thats probably a better name. [ laughter ] get out of here. Get out here, emma. [ cheers and applause ] this is part of the future. Hamdog is a better name. Thats a better name. All right. Yeah, burgdog is not as good. Ham ham yeah, hamdog. Lets see our last inventor. Come over here, leah. Please, glad to see you. [ cheers and applause ] hi nice to see you. Leah, how old are you and where are you from . Im ten and im from delaware, ohio. Jimmy delaware, ohio. Well, welcome. Thank you for being on. Im already excited about this. What is this invention . This is the jumpers helper. Jimmy the jumpers helper. Okay, and how did you come up with this idea . Well me and my sister abby love to jump rope. Jimmy yeah. But our parents didnt always have time to help us swing the rope. [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] jimmy its going to be okay. They werent there for you, its all right. [ laughter ] i had the same problem growing up. Yeah. So wait so, yeah, because you need a third person if youre going to double jump rope. Yeah. Mmhmm. Jimmy this is genius, i love this idea. This is the jumpers helper. And so it just stands there. Youve got some pvc pipe here. Can i do it . Can i try it out . Yeah. Jimmy leah, i think this is going to take off. I like this idea. Got the jump rope there, all right. I get it back