Daughter, jane, who is 6 years old, was misbehaving so my wife, molly, sent her to her room r. After a few minutes my wife went up the stairs to check on her. She overhears jane talking to her elf on the shelf saying, i know what youre thinking, elf, you think im a bad kid, but im not, my moms the bad one. [ laughter ] youve got to believe me, youre my only hope. [ laughter ] help me, elfie one kenelfi. Donald trump knows what hes getting his loved ones for christmas, assuming hes capable of love. According to axios, hes been talking about handing out pardons as if they were Christmas Gifts at the christmas. He reportedly told one insider hes going to pardon every person who ever talked to me. [ laughter ] sorry, melania, i guess youre out of luck. Trump is said to be keeping a pardon list, and has been telling people he might add them to it. This is funny. One source says trump offended a member of his staff by offering that person a pardon even though the person didnt commit any crimes. [ laughter ] i dont know, i assumed since you were here, working for me. Fine, no pardon for you, then. The big question is will trump be allowed to pardon himself . He must think so because hes still trying to put the squeeze on state officials. Yesterday we learned he dialed the republican speaker of the house in pennsylvania, not once, but twice, over the past week, to ask him to reverse the results of the election. This is where we are as a country right now. Our president is cold calling state representatives, asking them to throw the election his way, like its a beauty pageant or something. Over the weekend, a group of armed so stop the steal protesters gathered around the house of the michigan secretary of state and last night the Republican Party in arizona tweeted a clip of rambo, asking people if theyre willing to die for this fight. So the peaceful transfer of power going really well so far. [ laughter and applause ] today what is they call vday in the uk. The vaccine is out there, and the first to get the shot was a 90yearold woman named margaret keenan. You think theyd have given it to the queen first, but i guess no, they wanted to try it out on someone who isnt the queen. And margaret, god bless her, didnt seem the slightest bit nervous about it at all. Youre the first to receive this vaccine. How does that feel . Im so very thankful to have this opportunity. This is going to be on the telly. Yes, maam. Then id like to say to my son, geoffrey, piss off, im still not coming over for christmas, you bloody cockup. [ laughter ] jimmy well, thats unfortunate. Margaret keenan is now shes an overnight sensation all over the world. Its like she got the golden ticket. She got a cheery sendoff from the staff at the hospital where she got the shot. On the way home from the hospital, they dropped her off at picadilly circus. [ laughter ] where a large crowd gathered to watch her bust it to some curtis blow. So shes doing well. Turns out the vaccine is just a very highgrade cocaine. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the second person to receive the vaccine, and before i show this, this is real. We didnt mess with this or make it up. Vaccine recipient number two is perhaps the most famous person in the history of england. The second person to receive the jab this morning was 81yearold william shakespeare. [ laughter ] jimmy was his blood type be or not be . Thank you. Wimbledon back to life, bill. Maybe well finally get a sequel to macbeth. We learned from the New York Times over the summer the Trump Administration refused an offer from fees tore preorder additional doses of the vaccine, so those additional doses, which committee could have used, are now set to go to other countries. Oops. So today to cover himself trump signed an executive order that seems to have confused even the guy he has running operation warp speed. Can you explain this executive order the president s going to be putting out . I dont quite understand it. Hes saying Foreign Countries arent going to be able to get the vaccine until everybody in the United States gets it . It sounds like the problem is the opposite, pfizer has made deals with other countries that are going to limit the supply here. Frankly, i dont know. And frankly, im staying out of this. I cant comment. You dont know . I dont know. But youre the chief science adviser for operation warp speed. [ laughter ] our work is rolling, we have plans. We feel we can deliver the vaccines as needed. So i dont know exactly what this order is about. Jimmy well, at least he was honest, i guess. [ laughter ] well, thats reassuring. 43 more days, everybody. As you know, Rudy Giuliani tested positive over the weekend, and today we learned that trumps other lawyer, jenna ellis, seen here seated virus adjacent, has covid too. Did she get it from mayor tootty . Well never know, i guess. Ellis was spotted at the White House Staff Christmas Party on friday. There she is, no mask, no brain. [ laughter ] senior Trump Officials are said to be upset that she was at the party. Well, why were they at the party . Why did you have a party in the first place . But of course, this jenna ellis just a few months ago, she tweeted, there is no pandemic. So im starting to think the virus may have a sense of humor about all this. [ laughter ] this is the other thing spreading around. You heard about the monolith . The monoliths popping up all over the world. On november 18th, a metal what they call monolith, its really just a tall rectangular thing was found out in the middle of the utah desert. No one knows why it was there or how it got there. But around that same time, another monolith appeared on a hillside in romania. Then on wednesday, they discovered another metal structure on Pine Mountain not far from us in san luis obispo. Since then, monoliths have been popping up in colombia, the netherlands, the uk, las vegas. Multiple places in colorado. There are more monoliths than starbucks right now. [ laughter ] and of course, like everyone else, ive been wondering whats going on . So we reached out to the publicist for this monolith, and here now to explain it is the monolith him or herself. Hello, monolith. [ cheers and applause ] hey jimmy good to see you, my man working hard or hardly working . Jimmy well, some of both, i guess, really. Good to see you too. Nice, nice. Jimmy i guess my first question for you, monolith, is what are you . Well, thats the milliondollar question, right . Jimmy right. You know, like like who wants to be a millionaire . I have been watching, jimmy, you are killing it. Jimmy oh, well thank you. Irappreciate that. Again, im interested in you and whats going on with you. Look. Im a mystery. Am i the thing from 2001 a spaced ondy . Maybe. Am i some kind of viral marketing stud to sell ihops new pancakes . Maybe. Or am i a work of art that makes you think about something besides yourself for a minute . Jimmy well, which of those things are you . Cur [ laughter ] none of them im an omen for telling the end of humanity. And im on a world tour jimmy hold on, i want to go back for one second, what was that that you said about the end of humanity . Oh, you guys have about two lunar cycles left, tops. While you were all locked inside, im out on the road, loki, seeing the sights. Jimmy what sights exactly are you seeing . Oh, check my insta. Jimmy uhhuh. I popped over to amsterdam to see what all the kush was about, if you know what im saying. Jimmy yes. Yes, i do. Uhhuh. Okay. Yeah. Weed. Jimmy yes, weed, i would have guessed that, yes. Then i swung by peru. You know, to see what this model ive been dming and while i was down there, i stood perfectly stool among the ruins at machu picchu and dripped blood or whatever. Jimmy see, that scares me, monolith. Ha. It scared a lot of people, jimmy. Kylie jenner gave it a like. Jimmy kylie jenner . Wait, are you doing this for likes . No. No, im not doing this for likes. Im doing it for corporate tieins. I am here for a limited time, and the mcrib is too. Jimmy i see, all right. [ laughter ] well, good luck with your travels, monolith. Good luck with your travels, bitch. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, thank you. Thats the monolith. Thank you, monolith. See you in the fires of hell, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Did you understand what was going on there . That was the monolith. Guillermo yeah, exactly. Jimmy cost us like 30,000. Guillermo oh my god, why so expensive . Jimmy i dont know. Back to the donolith. We are on day 35 of squattergate. Donald trump has yet to concede but it seems like hes finally starting to come around. Why not include members of the Biden Transition Team as part of this summit youre hosting today . Were going to have to see who the next administration is. Because we won. In the swing states. And there was terrible things that went on. So were going to have to see who the next administration is. Jimmy oh, wait, hes nowhere near coming around. [ laughter ] in fact, hes about a week away from claiming joe biden was born in kenya. But donald trump is, believe it or not, a sensitive man. Thats why he cant come to terms with losing. I dont know why hes like this. Maybe his parents didnt show him love, maybe he was raised by a housekeeper who put him in the hamper when he cried, i dont know. But its the holidays, so i decided it would be a good thing to say hello, let him know in person there is someone who cares. Donald, who is it . Its carol segers. Who is this carol singer . One of your hookers . No. Carol singers. They come to your door and sing about the baby mess sigh yeah. Who gives a [ bleep ] . Christmas talk. All is calm all is bright round yon virgin mother and child i had enough, im leaving you, donald [ laughter ] jimmy wait. You cant read, can you . No, readings for losers. Christ the savior is born christ the savior is born [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well, you know what . I tried. I tried. We have a good show for you tonight. Stacey abrams is on the show with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] weve got music from ari lennox. Be right back with tim allen imagine the places well go. Together. Expedia good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Save morethis week. Circle. Save 10 when you spend 50 on toys. Now through saturday. Join target circle on the target app. This week only. Save more with target circle. Only at target. Is often unseen. Because the pain youre feeling could be a sign of irreversible joint damage. Every day you live with pain, swelling, and stiffness. You risk not being able to do the things you love. Especially in these times, its important to keep up with your rheumatologist. Schedule an appointment today. Its important to keep up with your rheumatologist. Right now, you can get a free breakfast baconator with any order in the wendys app. So you can shake up and wake up your breakfast. Were bringing that big bacon energy all day long so you can always be baconating with a free breakfast baconator. Optum perks can save you up to 80 . And everyone can do it. Its from optum, a Health Care Company thats trusted by millions of people. Opt in and save big today. Irish cream cold brew holiday a new way festive is a tap away download the app today [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Tonight on the show, she is the founder of fair fight, working hard to win the senate in georgia, Stacey Abrams is with us later on. [ cheers and applause ] then, with a performance from the 930 club in washington, d. C. , this is the song if you want me to stay. It is a collaboration with aunthny ramos and crown royal, music from ari lennox tonight. Ari and down royal have teamed up to help save americas favorite clubs, bars and stages. Find out more by going to mainstreetalliance. Org. Tomorrow night, music from andre indris, and tooil tanner and sturgill simpson. Please join us for that. A golden globe winning actor, tv handyman, and the worlds greatest classic astronaut, the season premiere last man standing airs january 3rd on fox. Please say hello to tim allen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dont worry. Come on jimmy ive been tested, ive been milked. Oh, god. Jimmy how are you greeting people . Did you say milked . Jimmy ive been milked a few times, yes. Tested, milked. Jimmy hows it going . Thanks for coming in to be here. How are you greeting people now . I still have this weird thing, even though with elbows, i feel like i know youre not supposed to, i feel like there has to be a touch, a bump. I did a thing. This is a oddly enough, i got involved in this exotic car thing for charity. It was a ferrari club. Jimmy okay. In michigan. They were like, didnt know i said, this is a good idea . To be driving cars and steering wheels . Theyre all wiped down and everything. When you got there, everybody was, hey, tool man, i love it i kept doing, hey jimmy i know. Hey one guy after another. No one noticed. Hey wow, are we supposed to be doing . Jimmy did you hide the purell . No, it was right out, a huge bottle, ferrari logo and everything. The guy said, oh, he goes, youre worried about the plandemic. Jimmy ah. Im, i hope you mispronounced that. I didnt want to get into this stuff. Jimmy youre back at work now . Back at work at the same the same situation where i said, theyve taken the show out of show business. Youre just doing your work and the lighting guys got to come in, separate its disney protocols and theyre doing it to save everybodys life and all of that, its just its weird. Our show is based on its like theater but its standup. We love our Live Audience show. Not there. Jimmy no Live Audience. No Live Audience, so we have a bunch of penalty boxes. [ laughter ] jimmy that first time you did it, how did you it was very sad. Didnt know what it was dry. No one knew what to do. We have paid laughers in penalty boxes. Jimmy you do . [ laughter ] theyre just up in these boxes. And then they were getting dry after a while. So we had a paid warmup guy to warm up the paid laughers. [ laughter ] youre going, youve got to be kidding me. Come on, people, lets go, come on jimmy wow, thats like a hooker paying for sex. [ laughter ] yeah, im glad you said it. Hey, come on, it wasnt that funny. [ laughter ] jimmy youve got people that are why do they feel like if they pay the people that its okay . How do you get the job . Jimmy how did you . I can laugh at anything literally anything oh, youre good thats great you should get a job as a paid laugher ive worked with these people all during the week. Now weve gotten into a rhythm. And they actually are laughing at it. But they watched every rehear l rehearsal, through protocols. Once you get into the set, you cant leave. Weve got to make sure theyre there all week. Its different. But weve gotten used to it. Im more sad about, this is our ninth season and i dont want to id prefer it not end this way. Jimmy sure, yeah, of course not, of course not. If the vaccination works, maybe the last four episodes would get our love product. Jimmy its hard to tell whats funny anymore. Not only is there doom in the air, people are wearing everybodys dressed like boba fett now. Doom in the air . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, there quite literally is doom in the air. Doom in the air, wow. Jimmy yeah. Little germettes. Jimmy well see, i dont know, tell Rudy Giuliani its a little dramatic. I understand, i understand. Jimmy but what im saying is, though, its like people cant even hear you. You cant see peoples lips. I just feel like im living in a nursing home. I cant hear anyone. They cant hear me. Its terrible. I get it, i get it. Thats one of the things thats really taken the shine out of it. Comedys really hard to deal with right now. Jimmy yeah, i think its harder than being a doctor. [ laughter ] what if youre a funny doctor . Jimmy oh, man, theyre really screwed. Youre patch adams . Theyre in a lot of trouble. You dont want to be funny and looking for prostate trouble. [ laughter ] jimmy before you had to go back to work, where were you, here . L. A. . In l. A. We got up to bad our last show of the season. Monday, we shoot tuesday. Monday, it was coming on. No one wanted to come in the next day. Disney didnt want to open it up. We didnt shoot our last show. Then my kid, it was on spring break, if you all recall. All of a sudden she says, well be back after this, this will probably get better in may or june. Boom. Nothing. So we went back to our cottage in michigan. Jimmy oh, okay. And it jimmy thats nice. Yeah. Jimmy were you out in the middle oh, was it . Its a small house, a couple of weeks in the summer. Jimmy yeah. If you get in there with a im blessed, i have a great family. But you get and up you go, oh, you again. Its that. [ laughter ] jimmy you have solitude . No, no. In the middle of a small town. And it was a small town. They didnt they werent michigans difficult to pinpoint. They were kind of rebelling against it, and its not that bad. Some people, dont you care about old people . Of course we do. The nextdoor neighbor, 90yearold dutch woman, she was always in her yard, i dont want to get the rash [ laughter ] the whole summer, i dont want the rash and i go, i like the word rash, makes it seem like, you know stay over there, ill bring some smoked herring over, but i dont want the rash whatever that is. Jimmy you brought a photograph i assume this is your house right now. This is your studio. This is your zoom room . Its this business. Eventually i was, you know people want i do some interviews on. Jimmy right. All of a sudden you go, this looks terrible. You realize there are people in this business that do this stuff. Ive got to call my lighting guy. I saw all people, al roker, how does that dude look so good . Where is he . Thats the first thing you look at. His background looked good. I call my people at apple. Well, we send these kits out. Not the voice, the singing show, blake shelton. Jimmy oh, yeah. How does he look good at his house . Jimmy he always looks good. [ laughter ] even in person he looks good. They sent two cameras. They said, well have two iphone 11s. I dont have two when you have to this, this i set up the studio. But now im like a nut. Every time my wifes on with her family, im in the room going, no, honey, let me get this. Jimmy speaking of being a nut, can i see it appears you have a microscope in that studio . Maybe i shouldnt have showed you that. [ laughter ] jimmy are you working to find a cure for the coronavirus . I am a fascinating guy. I have a microscope and a periodic chart back there. Jimmy i noticed. I tell my kids the only way to solve a problem is youve got to get to the bottom of it. Every time you do something, i want her to look through a microscope if we can figure it out. Basically ive got this thing, Science Fiction book, children of time. Its about spiders. Im fascinated by spiders. And if i kill them by mistake i will not kill spiders, theyre all girls by the way, most of them. Jimmy really . The big ones are. I make friends with them, my family hates it. I talk to insects. Because i got time. I got time. You get close to them. I take pictures. If they die irk put them under the microscope, i show my youngest that theyre scary as hell. Jimmy thyme allen im allen lonely man. The show is last man standing. More tim when we return, well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by my walgreens. The all new easier way to shop. Save and stay well. In a whole new way. Now roomba vacuums exactly where you need it, and offers personalized cleaning suggestions for a clean unique to you and your home. Roomba and the irobot home app. Only from irobot. Because a sandwich so tangy and delicious, roomba and the irobot home app. It has inspired songs, opinion pieces, even memes, is back. But you dont need to be told that. Because a calendar reminder already did. This is a sandwich known to all by reputation. A sandwich you simply cannot eat before documenting. The mcrib is back. The most important sandwich of the year. Ba da ba ba ba people are saving hundreds on the most reliable in a land not so far away, network with xfinity mobile. They can choose from the latest phones or bring their own. And choose the data option thats right for them. They even get nationwide 5g at no extra cost. And since they are on the carrier rated 1 in customer satisfation, they live happily ever after. Again, again xfinity mobile. Your wireless. Your rules. Your way to stay closer together. Click, call, or visit an xfinity store today. To your friends. Your family. To your teachers. In that spirit of giving, chevys proud to give our employee discount to everyone. The chevy price you pay,. Is what we pay. Not a cent more. Because giving,. And giving back, is what the holidays are all about. Use the chevy employee discount for everyone to get a total value of over eight thousand four hundred dollars on this silverado. Get the chevy employee discount for everyone today. The show is last man standing. I had this tv show for eight years called tool time. Yet here you are. [ laughter ] it ran eight years, they called me the tool man. Oh, oh, uh. Oh, oh kind of a thing. Because it was, you know, man, oh, oh. Oh . Oh, oh little annoying. [ laughter ] jimmy that was tim taylor from home improvement. With mike baxter from last man standing. Meeting in some kind of marvel cinematic universe type of situation. They called the episode dual time. Jimmy dual time, thats good. It was pitched to me, a standalone episode, the two guys meet. Then it gets into this weird world the only other character ive done this with is buzz lightyear. Sometimes i say, buzz wouldnt say that. Inevitably people are telling me how to grunt. The writers are going, curious grunt they write it. They say, thats a curious grunt . I got so into it, tim taylor, number one, im not sure he translates to mike baxter. It was very difficult to be the two guys. Because i did most of the scenes, obviously did one side, did the other side. Whats tim taylor like nowadays . I got way into this. Jimmy his hairs white. [ laughter ] thats one of the better jokes in there. Taylor goes, we look just like each other, except i dont color my hair. [ laughter ] it was really clever. Its a standalone episode. I appreciate so much that these writers came up with it. Jimmy its fun, yeah. It was real fun to bring tim taylor to its standalone, has nothing to do with the regular episodes. Jimmy youre doing another show for History Channel with richard carn. The idea of the show is a great idea. Correct me if i have this wrong. People, workers, builders, et cetera, fix things. Ive always been fascinated by my crew on both shows where i bring stuff from home. This toaster. I dont want to get a toaster, whats wrong with this toaster . Its always amazed me. Its always a little thing. I love people, men and women that take stuff apart instead of throwing stuff out. They can make it better, even. Lets get a show where we celebrate the women and men, people that solve problems. Unlike in politics and everything else. Im talking about the people give me the details again, let me go fix it, or at least try to fix it. Then we found it was supposed to be done in a wig studio where we set up. Instead we had to go to their homes because it was covid. It turned out to be even more interesting, to me. The big side of it was, im out of my mind because its kind of a reality show. So theres no end to it. Jimmy right. Youre in a thing, pretty son im out of my mind, im sweating. The directors going, youve never been in this situation. I go, when does it stop . [ laughter ] he goes, youve got to watch 90minute builds. When do we go to the bathroom . When do i eat . Jimmy wheres the snack table . Carn was great and he would call me down. Were acting like real people, thats what it felt like. Were supposed to be hosting this. It turned out so dramatic. You get people that really can fix stuff. And me, i wanted to go at one point maybe we will in the future. Weve shot 10 episodes. Its amazing what the men and women we found, all over the country, that can do stuff. Amazing stuff. And they dont say no. They go, let me figure it out. I wanted to throw because im so disheartened by the homeless in los angeles. Jimmy yes. Ive worked at the Midnight Mission downtown. Anything i can do, and nobody knows what to do. I wondered if you took people that build stuff what would you do, how would you at least chip away at this instead of throw money at it or talk about it . You know what it is here and its very difficult. Jimmy it as very, very complex subject, yes. Yes. What if a person that was a let me just fix instead of talking about it, they just dug in. Just give them all tents with phones in them or anything, just one idea to move it forward and have facilities, or i want to help you out, give me some ideas what i can do with it rather than just chat about it. Literally in my area, its so frustrating to watch. Jimmy homeless improvement. Just an idea. [ cheers and applause ] i like it. Jimmy the show is called last man standing. January 3rd on fox. And Assembly Required coming to History Channel. Tim allen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] be right back with Stacey Abrams guillermo, why are you wrapping your hand when in ham . I got a blister and we are out of bandages. Why dont you use my walgreens . They can have them ready for you in as little as 30 minutes. There you go, good as new. Now can you do this one . Right now, you can get a free breakfast baconator with any order in the wendys app. So you can shake up and wake up your breakfast. Were bringing that big bacon energy all day long so you can always be baconating with a free breakfast baconator. Whoa someone please help of course. Youre tenacious, ill give you that its ok, im ok. [heavy breathing] where are you . Coming lets do this yeaahh its on woooo whoa. [heavy breathing] rated rp to t. Im jimmy dean, and only one like this any nicer. Ning a hearty, hefty, good tasting breakfast. With eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese and taters. And when you finish, you know you had something to eat. This is the new iphone 12 pro with 5g and its on at t, the fastest nationwide 5g network. Now, new and existing customers can get our best deal. Really . mom at t has the deal for new and existing customers i will. So whatd she say . Wrong person. Its a guy named carl. But hes very excited and on his way. Wordofmouth advertising. Its what they did before commercials. Its not complicated. Everyone gets our best deal, like the amazing iphone 12 mini on us. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete, onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv to help you get to and stay undetectable. Thats when the amount of virus is so low it cannot be measured by a lab test. Research shows people who take hiv treatment every day and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre living with hiv, keep loving who you are. And ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. If youre living with hiv, keep loving who you are. Bacardi. Do what moves you. You can do better, steve get a freshly made footlong, from subway® you can even order on the subway® app did i just get picked off by Deion Sanders . You sure did now in the app, get a free footlong when you buy two. Because its footlong season™ hey, this is jesse. I had big plans for my backyard. I was going to fix it up and have an activity center. I was going to lay down some Artificial Grass for the kids to run and play water sports on. I was going to build a basketball hoop. It was just going to be great. The problem is it was really hot over the summer. And this is what this grass looks like. And this is the hoop. So sorry, kids. Maybe winter . Failed. Is two houses down any less of a neighbor than the person next door . Live here, look out for here. Simple. In times of need, neighbors step up for neighbors. We do, too. With a helping hand, and a warm meal. What kind of neighbor would we be if we didnt . Now walmart can help check off your gift list with free curbside pickup, fast delivery from your walmart store, or gifts shipped right to your door. Lets end the year celebrating. With and eve and adam you get up and at em im oh, crossin all your borders freein freein all the smalls at target, order today and get it today just use target same day delivery or drive up. For groceries, gifts and more on your list. Its the fastest way to get what you need, today. At target. boy r hhelping kids. S. dad helping families. women helping pets. vo these are the lives subaru retailers have impacted in our communities, through our support of over fourteen hundred Hometown Charities. In fact, subaru and our retailers will have proudly donated over two hundred Million Dollars to national and Hometown Charities through the subaru share the love event. vo get 0 for 63 months and subaru will donate 250 dollars to charity. Im a talking dog. The other issue. Oh. Im scratching like crazy. Youve got some allergic itch with skin inflammation. Apoquel can work on that itch in as little as 4 hours, whether its a new or chronic problem. And apoquels treated over 8 million dogs. Nice. And. The talking dog thing . Is it bothering you . No. Itching like a dog is bothering me. Until dogs can speak for themselves, you have to. When allergic itch is a problem, ask for apoquel. Apoquel is for the control of itch associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of Atopic Dermatitis in dogs. Do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. Apoquel may increase the chance of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or preexisting cancers to worsen. Do not use in breeding, pregnant, or lactating dogs. Most common side effects are vomiting and diarrhea. Feeling better . Im speechless. Thanks for the apoquel. Aw. Thats what friends are for. Ask your veterinarian for apoquel next to you, apoquel is a dogs best friend. Charmin ultra soft is so soft much are you hon . Youll have to remind your family they can use less. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Walmart makes it easy with groceries, gadgets, and soo much icing. Lets end the year deliciously. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Ari lennox is on the way. A couple of moments ago the at stroke of midnight our next guest turned another year older. All she wants for her birthday is two seats in the u. S. Senate. The georgia runoff is on january 5th. Please welcome Stacey Abrams. [ cheers and applause ] hi, how are you . I am well, thank you. I love your idea for a birthday present. Jimmy happy birthday to you by the way, stacey. Thank you, thank you very much. Jimmy am i the first or have you been wished a happy birthday already . You are the first to do it as of the stroke of midnight, yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very exciting. May i ask how old you are on this birthday . I am now 47 years old. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy can you demand ary count for Something Like this . [ laughter ] given the evidence thats piled up over the last 46 years, i think i would have a similar losing streak to donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy its tough having a birthday in december. You have to compete with jesus and santa claus and everybody. And sister. My sisters birthday was sunday. I got her first but hers is days before me. Jimmy wish her a happy birthday too. How many times do you think President Trump has to lose georgia before he concedes . Were up to three already. [ laughter ] im offering a fourth. [ applause ] jimmy im sure youre aware of this, but republicans seem to be somewhat obsessed with you. Take a look at this video. Let me say you know thing, Governor Kemp is no different than stacey an rams. She did this consent decree. Republicans simply have to turn out more votes than Stacey Abrams can steal. For whatever reason, your secretary of state and your governor are afraid of Stacey Abrams. Theyre afraid of her. Jimmy now, why do you agree that they are afraid of you . I dont try to plumb the depths of their minds. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy because you seem to be very nice. I dont know why they would be afraid. Im i want one thing. That is for every eligible voter to be able to cast their ballot, for that ballot to get counted. Apparently they dont want everyone to be counted, they dont want everyone to vote. We just disagree. And i would say that the rest of america agrees with me. So yay. Jimmy yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] i think probably almost all of america agrees with that principle, but they are getting many confusing messages. Are you surprised that Governor Kemp has not kind of capitulated to the president s demands . This isnt about heroism or strength. This is about the law. A number of lawsuits have been filed that have forced the hand of the secretary of state and the constitution precludes the governors intervention. We know that Voter Suppression is real. In fact action we were able to prove it in a court. I wrote a book about it, our time is now. I did a film about it, all in, the fight for democracy. Weve got evidence, they have none. And the problem is, you have a hard time winning an argument when you have absolutely no proof that something happened. But i dont give them credit for heroism, i give them credit for being afraid of the law. Jimmy yeah. [ applause ] and really for the principles on which this country was founded, that we each have a vote and we have a democracy. Who would have ever guessed that would be challenged in any way . Now we have the Runoff Election that is on january 5th. It comes down to these two seats that would tip the balance of the u. S. Senate. And there you are. And again, you are just trying to make sure that people are able to vote and that everything is done fairly. Was the first election done fairly . Yes, it was. We havent defeated Voter Suppression, lets be clear. It still exists. In fact, republicans here in georgia are already discussing how they can reintroduce it coming in january when the legislative session starts again. But for now, weve been able to make it easier for eligible voters to cast their ballots. And nearly 5 million of them did. And biden won. But more importantly, they forced a runoff, and i believe warn november will also win because when people have a choice between two existing senators who plundered and profited during this pandemic, and two who have done nothing but serve the people, i think the people of georgia will make the right choice. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy obviously this was an exhausting campaign. And were really really pulled out all the stops to get people to vote. Do you think that people are fired up in georgia, that they are ready to do this, that they want to cast their votes . We had a wonderful statistic that came out today of the more than 1 million absentee ballots that have already been requested. 70,000 are from people who didnt vote in november. And they are disproportionately young and disproportionately people of color. These are the folks who are the least likely to turn out, and they understand whats at stake and they need to show up and fair fight is there with them to make sure their votes get counted. Jimmy i guess this is one of the good the Silver Lining to all of the craziness that has gone on is that young people are getting out and voting in numbers that they havent before. Youre having a tv show cast reunion youre a part of for the show supernatural, which was on with the cw . Wb . Was that a cw show . It was both. 15 seasons. They crossed over. Jimmy and is this a show that you love . Why are you involved in supernatural . I started watching supernatural during my primary in 2017, became hooked. Ive now binge watched every single season. Im three episodes away from the end, please dont spoil anything. [ laughter ] it is the most fantastic show and i love it. Jimmy will you have watched the finale by the time the cast reunion happens . I will not. But i will plug my ears and hum to myself if they start saying anything i dont want to know yet. Jimmy you cant cram three episodes in between now and then . Well, im talking to you, ive got a birthday to celebrate, ive got two senate seats to win. Its been a busy week. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i understand. Were they confused when you called them and said you want e this . Actually, they reached out to me. I talked about them, actually in an interview i think with either Time Magazine i think it was Time Magazine, talked about how much i loved the show. I am known to occasionally tweet out my affection for Television Shows that i adore. I think they saw me, reached out. Once i finished squealing internally i responded with a professional tone, wed love to have your support of fair fight. Jimmy i think its unusual to be involved in an election in a state that you dont live in. But how can and is it appropriate for people to be involved in an election in georgia who dont live there . There are two things you can go. Go to gasenate. Com. Also go to helpwingeorgia. Com. Both those websites help you either contribute to the work that were doing to turn out those voters who need the most help getting back to the polls and helpwingeorgia. Com tells you how you can sign up to be a volunteer. Anything that you want to do, well help you get directed to do it. Please stay where you are. Send your love and support but keep yourself at home, covid is real, we want everyone to be safe when we win this election. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Thanks for all the work that youre doing. And happy birthday. Thank you so much, jimmy. Its been delightful. Jimmy Stacey Abrams, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] well be back business ari lennox we have the power to harness abundant wind and solar energy, but its not available all day long. Use less from 4 to 9 pm and we can protect california for generations to come. Help the world believe in holiday magic. And this year was harder than ever. And yet, somehow, you all found a way to pull it off. Its not about the toys or the ornaments but about coming together. Santa, santa, youre on mute just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for believing. Dicky music on Jimmy Kimmel Live is presented by crown royal whos helping save bars, clubs and stages in danger of being lost forever. Visit Mainstreet Alliance to learn more. Jimmy thanks to tim allen and Stacey Abrams. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next, but first, with the songs chocolate pomegranate and if you want me to stay, from the 9 30 club in washington d. C. , ari lennox oh oh oh oh jay hanging off your brown lips lean over exhale into my kiss problems weighing you down i power lift i just want some more of this kiss it for me more on my mind that i would like to explore this time flip me over dont take me as unkind i need you to fall behind try me in public but i know this much is true no ones gonna ride and love you like i do oohooh oh, chocolate pomegranate come live in this truth no ones gonna ride and love you like i do oohooh if you want me to stay ill be around today to be available for you to see im about to go and then youll know for me to stay here i got to be me youll never be in doubt thats what its all about you cant take me for granted and smile count the days im gone forget reachin me by phone because i promise ill be gone for a while when you see me again i hope that you have been the kind of person that you really are now ya got to get it straight how could i ever be late when youre the woman taking up my time whoa, oh how could ya ever allow i guess i wonder how how could ya get out a pocket for fun when you know that youre never number two number ones gonna be number one ohh oww oohh ill be good i wish i could get this message over to you now oh baby yeah yeah when you see me again i hope that you have been the kind of person that you really are now ill be so good i wish i could get this message over to you now tonight on a special edition of turning point. Vanessa guillen, the murdered ft. Hood soldier. Now the sweeping punishments. Effectively create a climate that treat all soldiers with dignity and respect. 14 members of the military disciplined, including a twostar general. How one familys fight for justice say her name. Vanessa inspired change. My sisters a human being. And i want justice this special edition of turning point, justice for vanes vanessa will be right back. It shows our new dove advanced care formula is effective. And kind to skin, leaving underarms cared for and you. More confident and carefree