Went bankrupt, the marriage ended, that hair is gone. Even the elephant in the background was shot and killed by donald jr. The president had a busy day of travel today, but he did find time to tweet. A lot. Last night, he wrote about occupy protests in washington state. He must have been watching tv and tweeted radical left governor jayinslee and the mayor of seattle are being taunted and played at a level that our great country has never seen before. Take back your city now. If you dont do it, i will. This is not a game. These ugly anarchists must be stooped immediately. Move fast they must be stooped the mayor of seattle tweeted in response go back to your bunker. Oh, that bunker thing must be driving him nuts. Why he gets involved in this sort of thing, i have no idea. But he is clearly surrounded by people who are stooped. The award for most stooped this week goes to trumps chief economic advisor, larry kudlow, who astonished even the most hardened among us by saying this. You said you dont believe in systemic racism . I do not. At all in the u. S. . I do not. Systemic racism against africanamericans in the United States . Ill say it again, i do not. Jimmy sir, one more question. Can you name a black person . Just one. Go ahead. I mean, thats so stupid i dont think even donald trump would say it this, by the way, is the same guy who said coronavirus was contained three months ago and hes still there. Still reporting for duty. Only the best people. On the other side of the coin, the side lincoln is on, nascar yesterday announced that they will no longer allow confederate flags at their race events. They put out a statement saying the flag runs contrary to providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for fans, and a lot of fans didnt like that. Lots of tweets. You picked the losing side of this battle. Good luck with that. I dont know. Pretty sure the confederacy was the losing side of the battle. Pretty soon we will have radios in the car playing rap music. Oh, heavens no. But i bet people can fly their rainbow flags all day. Right. From now on, nascar is gonna be one big gay parade. Bye bye nascar. I have been a fan for 50 plus years. Stay out of politics and social issues. Just race actually, race is exactly what this is about. And, welp just another sport i wont watch. Gonna have a lot of time traveling this beautiful country, fishing and spending time with my grandchildren. I have bad news for your pal. In ten years, your grandchildren will be describing you as my racist grandpa. So nascar now has done more to fight racism than the white house. But the president is getting back out there. Tonight he pressed the flesh at a fundraiser in dallas. No masks, of course. Thats nuts. Having parties, shaking hands. Dallas isnt even a safe place for president s when there isnt a virus. And he is weekending at his golf club in new jersey. See that . Hes fighting the pandemic and racism at the same time, by not wearing a mask to his very white golf club. The president is planning to hit the road with a series of campaign rallies, starting in tulsa next week. Big crowds are expected. And even welcomed. But anyone who gets a ticket has to agree in writing not to sue trump if they get sick. For real. You have to click this liability release to register. Its like being pregnant on a rollercoaster. But go ahead and take a big swig of bleach before you come anyway. I guess the plan is to just ignore the virus now and hope it goes away. Because yesterday, republicans announced they are likely to move their convention to jacksonville, because north carolina, where it was supposed to take place, isnt craycray enough for their current level of cray. They are not interested in safety. What theyre promising is that this will be a blowout bash want to keep America Great . Join us in jacksonville, for the 2020 Republican National convention, with all your favorite stars and, no social distancing monday, august 24th, were packing in more mouthbreathing deplorables than ever before, and were turning off the ventilation how do you like that, libtards . Hungry . Take an overcrowded elevator. No napkins, no sneeze guards, no utensils allowed. Dig up a handful of shrimp and say, fork you the excitement is contagious. Must be over 18. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. Not responsible for what happens two weeks later. Jimmy florida, still the number one place to die. This is good. Every city is handling this virus in its own way. But the new York Public Health department got involved. In new york, they put out a safer sex fact sheet. This is real. This is from the city of new york. They recommend that during intercourse you should wear a Face Covering or mask. Okay. Fun. They suggest that you masturbate together. Unl you know, ive tried that. Its not the same since they closed the movie theaters. They tell you to be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls that allow sexual contact while preventing close facetoface contact. In other words, glory holes. New york city is recommending glory holes. They tell you to skip sex if you or your partner arent feeling well. Most wives have that one covered and that medical conditions that could put you at risk during sex include lung disease, heart disease, diabetes, obesity. So good news for melania with that one i guess. They even provided tips for group sex. Large gatherings of any type are not safe during covid19. But if you decide to find a crowd, below are tips to reduce your risk of spreading or getting covid19. Limit the size of your guest list. Keep it intimate. Just friends and family at the orgy for now. Pick larger, more open, and well ventilated space. Bring an alcoholbased hand sanitizer. Can you imagine rolling into an orgy with a pump bottle of purell . Everyone will be required to wear these andrew cuomo underpants, which are available now on etsy. We have our own expert on the show on sex and everything else. From her home in los angeles its time for a quarantine edition of dear aunt chippy. Okay. Here we are. Now that my upstairs neighbors are home all day, all they do is have sex. Whats something simple i could yell at them to make them stop . Fire just yell fire im sure they will stop having sex if they hear fire. What a moron. Ah. Jimmy well, thanks, aunt chippy. We have a good show for you tonight. We have music from the clark sisters, and well be back with keke palmer. Family, well bless your heart family, all in this together family, were taking a chance family, like birds of a feather family, kick off your shoes and dance family, like birds of a feather family, kick off your shoes and dance mmm. chef ahhem. Hvr seasoning. Table 7. Brushing only reaches 25 of your mouth. Hvr seasoning. Listerine® cleans virtually 100 . Helping to prevent gum disease and bad breath. Never settle for 25 . Always go for 100. Bring out the bold™ we stick together, for worse or for better yeah through any kind of weather, yo youre my friend in need. come on, come on we stick. Tonight . Alexa, ask buick to start my encore gx. Nice buick thanks four fillets. You know this dinners for their. Kids. Im a dinosaur i hope dinosaurs like salmon. They hate it. The firstever buick encore gx. They hate it. Hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . Were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Stack pringles flavors make new ones. Im going to need you to. Never mind. Cant touch this. Help cant touch this. baby cries you cant touch this. New cheetos popcorn. Bbut what if you couldg do better than that . Like adapt. Discover. Deliver, in new ways, to new customers. What if you could come back stronger . Faster. Better. At comcast business, we want to help you not just bounce back, but bounce forward. And now, with one of our best offers ever, were committed to helping you do just that. Get a powerful and reliable internet and voice solution for only 29. 95 a month for three months. Call or go online today. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Later on the show we have something very special. They have three grammys, and a movie on lifetime called the clark sisters first ladies of gospel. The legendary clark sisters will take us to church on a thursday night. Next week, join us with mark ruffalo, sarah paulson, bill burr, the roastmaster general jeff ross and amy schumer too. Our guest tonight is an actress, activist, recording artist and talk show host. She is also the star of an inspiring viral video, please welcome keke palmer. Hi, keke. How are you . Its good to see you, man, in this new surrounding. Jimmy its good to see you, too. I like that painting you have on the wall. I like those logs in the back. Jimmy thanks, Everybody Loves my logs. I think of you as a very upbeat person, and i think every keke has to be an upbeat person. It just goes with the name. Are you feeling upbeat . Um, i think, i do feel upbeat. Im a positive person by nature, but i do think my empathic side is being weighed down by whats going on right now. Jimmy this video i referenced has 25 million views. Before we show it, i want to ask, have you been to a protest of any kind before . Um, yes. I mean, i went to the protests in ferguson for mike brown. Ive been to many different protests, but not one look this in a time like, i mean, like e this. I think especially with all the stuff that was happening with quarantine, so kind of just being around that many people at once was, it was a lot. It was different. It was a different energy, i think, because none of us had been anywhere in a while. Jimmy were you thinking about what you might say if you were confronted with, in this case, National Guard . Had you thought about that before you said what you said . No. I didnt plan on really seeing anybody out there like that out there. We were just marching, walking, i hadnt been around much people in a while, so i really, really wanted to be out there and protest for this cause. And then i saw, though, the National Guardsmen, and they were like blocking us from going further with the peaceful protest. And i think in that moment i was just kind of, i was weirded out a bit and kind of confused i think from a genuine, naive place of being confused as to why theres this separation between us, like theyre human like im human. I know they have a job to do, but i dont know, i felt like, why cant they be with us, marching with us. Especially now, i feel like even with what happened with general milley, theres a division from every angle, whether youre in the military, black, white, whatever. We all need to come together, and i think i just was really overwhelmed, and i didnt know really what i was saying. I was just really speaking from my heart and how i was feeling, and, you know, that was that. Jimmy lets take a look at what happened there. You have people in here that need your help. This is when you, yall stand together with the community, with society, to stop, to stop the governmental oppression, period. We need you. I agree but. So march with us. Yall get your people, march beside us, march beside us. Letted the revolution be televised. Show us that you are here for us. Make history with us. We are protecting some of these businesses. Okay, okay. Will you do me a favor . Can you do me a favor . Can you take a knee . Can you make a knee . That aint enough for me. Thank you thank you. Jimmy now you said you didnt feel like the knee was enough from those guys. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, because i felt like we had an opportunity in that moment to, you know, we have the Current Administration making a point to make a statement about division. I felt like lets just come together. Lets be beyond that. Lets be beyond whats happening. It was a risk. I understand he has a job to do. But i think in my mind i was just thinking, what if your job is telling you to do something you dont believe in, i know you want to be out here with me. I know we want to walk side by side, so lets just do it. Jimmy i think thats a dilemma a lot in the military have. I heard you got a call from joe biden. He wanted to talk to me after that i suppose. We had a conversation. I didnt get to ask him everything i wanted to ask him, but it was good to talk, you know, and hear what hes talking about and what hes saying. You know, right now. Jimmy mmhm. And did you feel that he is on the right track . Such a loaded question, right . Because i mean, i guess he was, so i guess he was cool, but i cant say i was, after the convo i felt thrilled or excited per se, but it was good to talk and just to hear first hand. Jimmy did you tell joe when you had him on the phone that you have a new single out called thick . No, i did not share with joe my new single thick. I didnt share that with joe. I probably would have put him out with that. He would have fell out. He not ready for the thickness. Jimmy i like the idea behind thick. Tell everybody what the songs about. So ive been having so much fun with my music lately, a moment of spontaneity. Just being able to have fun and not overthink too much. Ive got my new song, thick. Weve been in quarantine, ive been getting really thick. Youre in the house. Youre eating. Jimmy i know. The refrigerators in the house is the problem. If i could move the refrigerator to work i would be okay. Hey, every night i will be making a donation, and tonight youve chosen the charity black visions collective. Tell us a little about that. I like the black visions collective because theyre talking about the future of black people, and also what i love about them specifically is they include the lgbtq community. Sometimes they can be overshadowed. Thats what i think mostly i was excited about, its all black lives matters. Jimmy the website is blackvisions mn. Org. Thank you very much, keke. Great to see you. Thank you, its good seeing you, too, man. I hope we get to see each other soon in person. Jimmy well be right back with music from the clark sisters. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by the makers of dixie plates and cups. A tomorrow that says baycan. Not baycant. Where fresh eggs rain like. Opportunity. Goodness is spread. And the frosty is ccinoed. Tomorrow brings more. Like buyanyofthese andgetanother forjustadollar kind of more. No matter what, tomorrows lookin good tomorrow also available today. Whether its bribes. Or an overdue makeover. Get all your pet essentials right when you need them, with Curbside Pickup at petsmart. Just order online, drive up, checkin, and pick up. Yeah yyeah yeah hey, hey dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is brought to you by mercedes benz. The best or nothing. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. This you are going to like this. The clark sisters. Jimmy kimmel, thank you so much for having us. We want you to declare victory in your life. 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Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Even though it feels like we have all been sitting around doing nothing for months, quarantine has actually been busy for most of us. But as guillermo recently learned, it doesnt have to be hard. Guillermo i know it seems like i dont work too much, but i have a lot on my plate. I have to exercise. Help me help me i have to give my son a haircut. I have to make dinner. And then i have to do the dishes. Hey, dixie, take something off my plate. Dicky what can dibs dixie take off your plate . Head to dixie off my plate. Com, and tell dixey what they can take off your plate, whether its help with the dishes, a new lawnmower or an epic way to occupy the kids. You could be one of 500 winners selected each week. Guillermo thank you, dixie. Dicky share your need with dixie at dixieoffmyplate. Com. Guillermo are you sure you know what youre doing . Jimmy that is the time we have. Id like to thank keke palmer, the clark sisters, and apologize to matt damon. Nightline is next. Now if youll excuse me, im gonna go stand in front of the refrigerator. Goodnight. The San Francisco sheriff responds to a criminal investigation into one of his captains after video surfaces of his captain shoving protesters from behind. Two Virtual Meetings in oakland addressing Structural Racism and police reform. New Opening Guidelines and the rush expected to come along wit. How Santa Cruz County is preparing. Blustery cooler weather ahead. Ill have a preview coming up. Abc7 news at 11 00 starts right now. Building a be