Lent . Guillermo weed, jimmy. Jimmy wheat . Did you say wheat . Guillermo no, i said smoking weed. Jimmy i didnt even know you did that. If youre looking for something to give up for the next 40 days. Pope francis has an idea. Hes encouraged us to stop insulting people online. Its a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittletattle. Im with him on all but the titt titt tittletattle. Please, stop mean tweeting the pope. Send him a direct message if you must. I hope the pope didnt watch the debate last night. Because the democrats engaged in a good deal of tittletattle. This is what you missed. [ talking simultaneously ] fighting for my [ bleep ] life. So tell me [ bleep ]. Watching the democratic debate right here on cbs. Jimmy i think senator kelly has a shot. For a lot of these candidates, it was desperation time. This was their last shot. They were waving their hands in the air like they just dont care. And in a way, it helped moderators keep it moving. A few key debate questions before we start, to save time please answer by raising your hand. Does everyone understand . Great. Did everyone use the bathroom . Does anyone still need to use the bathroom . Senator sanders, youre going to have to hold it. Okay. Would anyone like to tell mayor bloomberg to screw himself . Very good. And who ordered the pastrami . The caviar . A jar of mayonnaise . This salad with a comb in it . Senator klobuchar. Lastly, is there anyone who knows they shouldnt be here . Thank you. Goodbye. Okay, then. Lets begin. Jimmy Mike Bloomberg had a better showing than he did at the last debate and somehow managed to buy two commercials during the debate. Mike bloomberg has now put more than 500 million into his campaign. Even fe doesnif he doesnt win nomination he says hes prepared to spend more to beat donald trump. Team sanders says taking money from bloomberg is a hard no. Has any no from sanders ever been a soft no . He gives a hard no to trickortreaters. We have no sugar daddies what if bernie took 300,000 from bloomberg hooked up with a stripper and moved to the cayman islands. Trump would be so jealous for sure. This debate was all over the news nationally, but especially in south carolina. And i want to congratulate danielle seat of the wmbf news team in myrtle beach whose coverage of the debate made her this weeks winner of the award for excellence in reporting. Great tvs danielle seat joins us from charleston with what we need to know ahead of tonight. Good morning, danielle. [ bleep ]. Well, all eyes will certainly be on charleston. Jimmy you know, her hair looked good. And thats what really matters. The big winner last night at the debate, according to donald trump, was donald trump. The president watched the debates on his way home from india. Hes flying jetblue, and they have the tv. This morning he tapped out a twopart review. Part two said pocahontas was mean and undisciplined, mostly aiming at crazy bernie and mini mike. They dont know how to handle her, but i know she is a chocker. He misspelled choker. I think he was quoting his own misspelling from 2018 when he called marco rubio a chocker. Or maybe he was jocking. I dont know. And then the vice poodle piled on the democrats. Mike pence was in michigan last night at a keep America Great rally, speaking to a group of farmers for whom he compared whats going on with the democrats right now to a demolition derby. I mean, i grew up in a small town. County fair comes to town, right . Everybody with the crummiest cars in town would drive them into the infield and crash them into each other until only one was driving. So now you have all these democrats with the crummiest ideas in politics smashing into each other and eventually, therell still be one running. But i think we all know how this is going to end. Theres going to be a monster truck with a t on the hood thats going to drive into the infield and roll over the top of them jimmy thats just what the country needs right now, a monster truck rolling over top of us. Long live president truckasaurus. This coronavirus is starting to make people nervous. This could be the fastest spreading virus from asia since gangnam style, which is scary. Its already having an impact locally, even the masked singer is wearing an extra mask now. We do our show in the heart of hollywood. And this is a place teeming with the dirtiest super heroes. Were in prime corona zonea right here. Health officials are warning to avoid physical contact with other people. People in japan are less at risk because their traditional greeting is a bow. We, for whatever reason, are sticking with the hand shake. Im giving up the handshake for lent. It doesnt mean im going to be not friendly. I came up with the patella hello. Lets say guillermo and i have run into each other on the street, and i say hello, guillermo, right . Its good. And then if we really, its like a fist bump with your knee, and if you really like somebody, say hello, guillermo. There you go. Go back to your spot. And all you have to do, and all you have to do at the end of the day is make sure to wash your pants, thats all. The president is doing everything he can to calm this nations nerves. This morning he tweeted my fellow americans, while i know this is an uneasy time, trust that your representatives in washington are working around the clock with the worlds best scientists to protect you and your family from this terrible disease. When we band together we are strong. He didnt write that . Oh, low ratings fakeness msdnc, comcast, and cnn are doing Everything Possible to make the coronavirus look as bad as possible. Why is the media only focussing on the negative side of the coronavirus . Its so biassed. This is part of his, if you cant spell it you cant catch it campaign. Hes especially worried about this, not just because of the stock market which is key to his reelection but also because he realized how hard it will be to eat a Bacon Cheeseburger through a face mask. Today he held a press conference to again reassure us that he has this virus completely under control. [ indiscernible ] jimmy he gave a rambling presentation today. Of course he congratulated himself for his actions so far. And he downplayed the virus. He said the blflu kills a lot me people than the coronavirus. I dont know, alligators have killed more people, too. But it doesnt mean we should jump in the swamp. The United States is ranked number one on a list of countries most prepared for this sort of thing, and then the president announced who hes putting in charge of fighting this virus. Hes really very expert at the field. And what ive done is im going to be announcing exactly right now that im going to be putting our Vice President mike pence in charge. Didnt it seem pence didnt know that was going to happen . I hope the virus isnt spread by kissing ass, because if it is, theyve got the wrong guy. Seriously. [cheers and applause] mike pence is in trouble. Why is mike pence, why is mike pence in charge . What is his plan to stop the virus . Abstinence . I think trump might be trying to kill him. I really do. Ted cruz posted something interesting. Ted cruz tweeted a segment, video, that he likely didnt realize was from our show. About two years ago we went out and asked people, we asked random people passing by if they could name a country on a map we set up. And many of them could not name a country. It had nothing to do with their political affiliation, but ted cruz posted and wrote, this is bernies base, the same base that tell pollsters socialism is great because free stuff is cool. The guys talking about facts, truth and substance made that up. They were not bernie supporters. Bernie wasnt even running when we shot this. But in fairness to getsweaty te, we decided to revisit the subject. We asked them to name a country, any country, and this is how they did. Are you a registered democrat . Republican. Republican. Can you name a country on this map . I believe thats africa. Nope. Russia . No. Thats china. Anything over here . Basically, europe. Wheres europe . Dont know. Are you a democrat by chance . I am not. Can you name a country on this map . Asia, or africa. Thats a continent. Oh. Hey. Can you name a country in africa . No. Do you support the president . Yeah. Can you name a country on this map . Um. How about this . No. How about this country . Anything here . No. Anything here . No. How about this country . I dont know. Can you name a country on this map . What . Just any country. I dont know. How about this . I dont know what that is. How about this . Texas. No, india. I dont know. Can you point to a country on this map . Ussr. Russia now. Yes. Can you point to it . No, thats china. All righty, my fault. Are you a democrat or republican . Republican. Most definitely. Can you name a country on this map . Mexico. Right down here. No, thats india. Whats this . That would be asia. No, thats africa. How about this . Here . Any over here . What about this continent . I have no ideal. How about anything over here . This is confusing. What about this. Pacific. Oh, yes, yes, yes. What is this . I dont kw. How about this . I dont know e. Nope. This . No. This . Nope. This . Nope. Nothing. Do you support ted cruz . Yes. Yes. Jimmy all right. Thats very sad, but you can go ahead and poke that through. We have a good show tonight. Music from soccer mommy, Iliza Shlesinger is here, and well be right back with bob odenkirk. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by lexus. It ignites our imagination. In search of inspiration and daring new ideas. At lexus our greatest curiosity isnt a machine . Its you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Anywhere near your white couch. But we did it. And you know what happened . Nothing. Glad bag with leakguard. Helps prevent leaks and drama. Im loooooving the allnew camera system on iphone 11 glad bag with leakguard. paul and i love how at sprint. sprintern . You can get the amazing iphone 11 for zero dollars a month when you trade paul in any condition. sprintern seriously, in any condition. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Is raised with no allantibiotics ever. Chicken, [ music winding down ] theyre a great decision for snacktime. Allowing the band to practice at your house. Not a great decision. Keep it real. Keep it tyson anytizers. Tat your door, so you can get more. Feels so good feels so good target run done. You sure you dont want me to come with you . Im very sure. Because i can. laughs make good choices. You make good choices. I am. Fiber is good for digestive health. Good choices never tasted so good. Kelloggs raisin bran. Dad not cool. O, son. You know whats not uncool . Old spice after hours. And jazz. Dad, i prefer ultra smooth, it handles sweat without all that. Jazz. Youre right son. vivaldi music playing maybe wendys should just stick to what theyre good at. Ill try it, but. I have a lot of doubts. My name is mike haracz. Im a former corporate chef for mcdonalds. Holy. upbeat music playing did you know this is where you can harness your inner jedi . And tear around radiator springs . Or get your flex on with the incredibles. Kids enjoy the magic for just 67 per child per day, with a 3day 1park per day ticket. Woman the deadly corona virus 67 per child per day, officially hitting the us. Man the markets are plunging for a second straight day. Vo Health Experts warn the us is underprepared. Managing a crisis is what Mike Bloomberg does. In the aftermath of 911, he steadied and rebuilt americas largest city. Oversaw Emergency Response to natural disasters. Upgraded hospital preparedness to manage health crises. And hes funding Cutting Edge Research to contain epidemics. Tested. Ready. Mike im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Jimmy tonight, from the new netflix movie spenser confidential with Mark Wahlberg, Iliza Schlesinger is here. Then, her album is called color theory, soccer mommy from the mercedesbenz stage. Soccer mommy played a Bernie Sanders rally in houston the other night, which led to this wonderful moment, where bernie thanked the band. Let me thank soccer mommy for the music. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, thats good stuff. Tomorrow night, Mark Wahlberg and storm reid will join us with music from goody grace with blink182. So please join us, too. Our first guest is an emmy winning writer, comedian and actor too. For the past eleven years, hes played a lawyer who would like you to call him. Watch season five of Better Call Saul mondays on amc, please welcome bob odenkirk. [cheers and applause] jimmy you made the right move there. I did, you know . Jimmy well go back to our traditional kiss after the pandemic is behind us. How are you . Im great, man. Jimmy congratulations, i heard your illinois United States. Siu. Jimmy is giving you an honorary doctorate. They ran out of people. I dont know if its a doctorate. It might be like a drivers certification page. Youre allowed to drive in carbondale. Jimmy if its not a doctor, dont go. I already have a degree from siu. A real one, that i earned by going to class. But i think its better to get the one that you didnt go to any classes for. Jimmy its cheaper. Its cheaper, and somehow its like just magical, its like a, its like just a magical thing from heaven that fell on you, you know . Jimmy and you can write doctor on forms, now, legally. Thats right. Jimmy just like bill cosby did, you know . No, okay. Now i dont want it. Now you ruined that for me. Jimmy so. No, im going to go. Jimmy didnt you go to clem when y college when you were a young boy or something . I was 16 when i went to college. Does that make you think im smart . Jimmy yeah, youre like doogie odenkirk. I was a normal student. I read a lot. I like to read. And i think that kind of kicked me ahead of everyone else, and then i just asked one day when i was a junior in high school. I said how many credits do i have . I went to the office. They said youll have 16, thats all you need, and i was like oh, can i leave . And theyre like, yeah. Jimmy and you did. I didnt go to graduation. And they never included me in any, it was like i disappeared. I disappeared from high school. I didnt graduate. I was so young that i felt like id be very awkward at any college. So i went to a local college, at dupage. Jimmy oh. But its great. I spent a year there, had a blast, then i went to marquette. Because i thought my father had gone there. Jimmy what . Yes, i didnt know, because that will tell you a little about my life there. I heard a rumor that he went there. I didnt, and so i thought i should go there. And then that was all right for a year, and then i somehow went to southern. I loved Southern Illinois university. Its just great. Beautiful part of the country. If youve ever been there, its very far south from chicago. And its just great, and i had a blast there, and i did comedy there. Jimmy what, you did like radio . I did a radio show. Jimmy college radio. Thats where you started . Jimmy yeah, i started in college radio. Its a great, safe place to perform and nobody can see you. Jimmy or in my case, no one was listening at all. Oh, me too, me too. Jimmy do you remember . Han thand that was great. Jimmy did you do sketches . I had a partner named tim thomas, an early version. And we improvised and had the prime time special on thursday nights at midnight. So not prime time. Jimmy and. Also not special. And we were kind of inspired by our heroes, which why the credibility gap, a great comedy group from pasadena that featured as one of its members Michael Mckeon who then played chuck on Better Call Saul. He played my brother many years later. [ applause ] jimmy thats crazy. And thats a complete coincidence. All a big circle. But he inspired me, and then years later we got to work together. Jimmy your son is in college now. How old is your son now . My son nate who worked here. Thank you for that. Got him out of the house. Jimmy hes a smart kid. Hes 21 years old now. He can do whatever he wants. Jimmy did you have a party for him after his 21st birthday . Its weird, man, he didnt care, because he had a fake i. D. For so many years, so it was nothing. Jimmy thats what happened to me. I grew up in las vegas. You have to have a fake id. Its actually the law. It wont help you anymore in vegas, because we actually met him in vegas a few weeks after he turned 21. Jimmy oh, you did. He was there for a debate tournament, because hes a coach. And we were there to enjoy vegas, and he had a couple friends with him. And we sitting there at the roulette table. You want to teach your kids how to manage money, you know . And what better way than roulette . Invest your money in roulette, kids [ laughter ] and the dealer, or the dealers, what are they . Jimmy theyre spinners, i guess. The spinner asked for the kids ids, because theyre smart. And they run except every one of the friends, the id doesnt work. Lets take it to the security desk. Its not workin, its not workin. So they have us go through the rigmarole. And after the third person had tested it five times the kid leans over to me and its fake. Well, tell us that at the start. Jimmy youre an accessory to a crime. Were going to take a break. When we come back, season five of Better Call Saul, is on. Jimmy more with bob odenkirk after this. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by dietz watson, premium meats and artisan cheeses. Visit dietzandwatson. Com to learn more. Look closely at the perfection that is the quarter pounder and youll see its actually made of countless imperfections. Those randomly and impulsively placed sesame seeds. That one slice of melty cheese at the bottom and another draped haphazardly over the 100 fresh beef patty cooked right when you order. True, the hottest, juiciest quarter pounder yet is not perfect. But when you put it all together, ha ha its perfect made perfecter. Ba da ba ba ba i was looking for a companion and wewe had a connection corny as it sounds, it was love at first sight it was kismet. Adopt love at our National Adoption event. This weekend at your local petsmart®. 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