Dallas, judge tammy kemp is here and going to be sitting in the seat live. [applause] shes talking about that controversial hug that went viral and her reaction to the murder of joshua brown. Mtv has this new show its called coasted. Were going to meet true friends who ended their friendship without explanation. They ghosted each other and then we have a guy who is a serial go stir. He flips on all the women leaving them without a trace saying goodbye cannot be that hard sir. We are going to find out why he is ghosting women on social media and out of his life. Then People Magazine exclusiv exclusive, dying with dignity. One womans courageous journey, why she is fighting a law that wont allow her to die on herley watson from louisiana. Rob fletcher, in columbus, ohio, and alisha missouri, station k d and l. Thank you so much for joining the cyber hall. And of course if you want to be part of the cyber hall they are actually in their homes and watching from their homes you can join us, tamronhallshow. Com to join us in the conversation. Lets get it started. Its a big one. Judge tammy kemp made headlines last week when she hugged amber guyger after the former Dallas Police officer was sentenced to ten years in prison for the murder of her unarmed neighbor, botham jean. At the hug went viral. To some people praising it is a rare moment of compassion others calling it unethical. Joining us to talk about it is judge tammy kemp. Judge, thank you for joining us. [applause] lets start with right before the hug. I always like to know things in context. What was happening right before that hug . Well, the trial had is over and the defendant has been sentenced the victims family and loved ones have the opportunity to say to the defendant how their actions have impacted their lives. You never know how many victim impact statements are going to have, i begin the day thinking there may be several and then i was told there would only be one. About 30 minutes following the sentencing of mrs. Guyger would begin with the victim impact with brent jean. Bothams brother. He gave his impact statement and at some point asked for permission to go down. He asked could i give her a hug please. When he heard her say that at what did you think . I thought a number of things. I have primarily this is against the rules. I know that that sheriff brown would frown upon this because its a Security Risk to have contact with the defendant. He was looking at me and i had hurt his words and i had been so shocked by his poise, his demeanor, his compassion come his courage because he mentioned he wasnt ever going to save this to anybody how he felt. It was just running through my mind oh, god i cant do this i cant do this this is against the rules. But when he said please a second time i just had to give in and i said yes. Tamron many people saw his act as a Family Member trying to heal. But then came your hug. Ive never, and im from texas ive covered capital murder trials, ive covered Divorce Court trials, ive never seen a judge do that. Actually at the conclusion of every violent trial and in particularly where someone has died i always go over and talk to the victims family, offer them my condolences, express words of grief. I usually ask them if i can hug them. I did that with jeans family. I spoke with all of bothams Family Members, they are remarkable people. And i told them that they raised a remarkable son. We hugged, we embraced, and i was turning to exit and i saw miss guyger and i just went to her and i said mr. Jean has yourself so t ae purposeful life. You want is that a roll of a judge to do that . I do that with every person im sending to prison. I always encourage them to please let this be your last interaction with the criminal justice system. Depends on how young they are as to how much advice i give them but i do that with everybody. Tamron i say full disclosure says that youve done that in Juvenile Court with people that we didnt see on camera. This case was filled with questions of police brutality, and unarmed man sitting on the sofa having ice cream, race, all of these things can make a play and suddenly we see the judge not only hug amber guyger but offer her a bible as well. In that moment did you ever think i am now putting myself in the headlines and i could to be pouring fuel on the fire here was to mark not at all. Actually i didnt realize that we were still being filmed. The trial had concluded. I saw court tv had discontinued videotaping. I didnt think about that at all. Tamron for people to understand not all states allow cameras in the courtroom. Texas is one of the states and you have jurisdiction over that. Yes. For all the reasons you just mentioned. This was a Police Officer that shot an unarmed man in his own home, our city had been divided upon racial lines, upon here is another Police Officer killing another unarmed black person. Tamron in extraordinary circumstances. No one had ever heard of a case where some onset i went into the wrong home and i shot to kill that person. This is extraordinary. Absolutely. I dont think shakespeare could have fashioned a more tragic story. Tamron you gave her the bible i know there is an organization right now they have filed, its an acs organization and they have filed a formal complaint saying it wasnt unethical for you to hand her that a bible. What is your response to that . Its not as though i said miss guyger you need a bible. Tamron but when you give someone a bible it is seen as a religious. It was at her request. What she said to me after i said please forgive yourself so that you can live a purposeful life. She said do you think my life cani ay. It can. She asked me she said do you think god will forgive me . I said absolutely he will. And then she said but i dont even have a bible. I dont own a bible. I dont know where to begin. In that moment i didnt want to lose amber guyger. So i said hold on i will get you a bible. I left the courtroom and went to my chambers and retrieved my bible. Tamron this field is again g when a judge behaves that way . You were there for the law not for religion. No i was not there for the law. My legal duties had been concluded. I was just a person responding to someone in need. Tamron joshua brown, a key witness in the case was murdered just days after. Police have said now that this was the result of a drug deal gone wrong, they claim that individuals left louisiana into texas and this was a drug deal over some marijuana purchase. If the disputes that heavily. We know that it joshua brown was worried about testifying to come he had been a victim of gun violence before and he was a key witness here. What is your thought on the investigation and what police are saying right now . Im not privy to all of the police investigation. But i know about his murder, as unfortunate as it is, is all that ive learned fruit through the media. Tamron how did you learn of his murder . I was at a retreat in deep east texas. Following the guyger trial and fortunately i was in place where i could get phone coverage and i got a call from one of the prosecutors who said judge ive got some news to you. He let me know that he had been murdered. Tamron what was your reaction . I cried. I was stunned. I asked do you know what happened . Is this at all related to our trial question mike tamron what are they say . They said at this time there is no indications as to such but the investigation was ongoing. Later this week, later when i got back to dallas i found out that the police were investigating a possible drug connection. I just feel for mr. Browns family. Eow toughhat se that his parents somotial for h. Vo and he steppep to do is civic responsibility, which is to testify in a co days later he is gone. And people were afraid and worried and still are. Tell mike that they dont know the entire story despite the police investigation. Another element of this is amber guyger is planning an appeal, or could appeal. You could preside over that appeal, is that correct . Actually. If she does appeal the Appellate Court located in dallas will be the first court to handle that. But should they find something amiss in her trial and it is reversed and sent back for a new trial, then there is a likelihood that i could preside over that as well. Tamron did you think you could preside over given the hug and that Attention Exchange of the bible, all of these ties now that you have to her personally, could you said above that court and do your job . I do that every day. I do that every day. Tamron but not every day do we see this. I know you do it every day but this is a case where your name now is be able to fulfill that obligation as an impartial judge . Absolutely. Every day i separate emotions from fact. I dont think it would be any different in this case. I certainly would understand why one party or the other what like to move to recuse me and if that happens that is fine, i understand that. But every day no defendant defen presents themselves as one some coal act. The sum total of their act. Tamron interesting you say that because now the sum total of your years as a judge, people are now looking at that one moment and judging guilt. I know you have seen the comments. I know you have seen actually i have not. Tamron while i wont read them to you. Its funny you say that because they are brutal. My families concerned about i am not. Tamron what is your familys concern . They have read the comments. I have not. Tamron for your safety . Yes. My faith is strong. If god brings me to it he will bring me through it. [applause] and this is one of the reasons why i am discussing, so that people will understand the sum total of what happened. Miss guyger asked about forgiveness, guyger asked about if i would hug her. I dont think any human being would have refused her at that moment. Tamron you are such a strong woman. [applause] before you go i do want to ask you about the bailiff and explained to us what happened there because so much of this, you have answers to far more than idea. What happened in that moment . Some miss guyger had been found guilty of murder and i had held her bond insufficient so it would mean she was not free to of the sheriffs department. However we were on a lunch break and i couldnt send her to the jail to be frisked so we asked a female bailiff to stay with her throughout the lunch break. If you know anything about the jail you have to search every part of a person including their hair because we have person smuggle contraband and weapons and all manner of ways. She was accused of stroking her hair but actually what shes looking for is contraband or weapons. They do that to every female so if you come to the Dallas County jail, they are going to remove your tamron this is why we do this show. At this went viral. This mob on social media, people said things about her, they referred to her things that were horrible. There were people that said look at her, a black woman being a nanny. They assaulted her on social media because s w doing her job. Its because this is exactly why your show is so important. We have to educate the public. [cheers and applause] you have to educate the public. Tamron thank you so much for joining me today. Hat traveling from our good home state of texas. Its just because youre from texas. Tamron thank you so much. We will be right back. [applause] [applause] tamron while they say breaking up is hard to do, but some people just walk away without an explanation so this new tv show on mtv is called ghosting and it digs deep into one of the most common ways people are ending relationships in this digital age we live in. According to psychology today of of americans have ghosting. If you are under 30 that number is even higher, at 80 . I know take a look at the whitney and to say here is a story on the latest episode of mtvs ghosting. Tonight we are in washington, d. C. , helping whitney find out why shes been ghosted by her best friend here after to hira moved to los angeles leaving would need to wonder what happened to their sisterly bond. This is a case of a shady friend. Do you remember me at all . We will investigate the clues and follow as we lead to track down the ghost. How do we know that were even going to find her. I do know the reason why she ghosted you. Tamron whitney and to hira are here joining us. Thank you so much for joining us. Who in here has been ghosted or ghosted your hand. He did . I have ghosted someone. I know. This was before they called itt. These days that counts as a writer died. What happened . Ultimately i ghosted whitney because i had started to see some posts on social media and it was after the election and i was very close with her family so it started to kind of put two and two together that they had supported trump and for me it was nothing personal ever, everyone has the right to make their own decisions but as a first generation american, daughter of people who have experienced housing discrimination, my parents work in medicine and literally if i had people refuse being treated byecause they talk about it at at the time. Tamron whitney would did you realize you had been ghosted . Tahir august of 2017 and i was texting her saying how is it . Tell me about your job and i got no response so it was around then when i realized and then it took two years that we didnt talk. Tamron to use . Did you go on social media and she had unfollowed you . She unfollowed me yes. I still followed her though. Tamron tahira what it have been so difficult to call her and say i dont like what i saw, i know you personally come as the judge says you are not the total sum of one thing to. This is bothering me lets talk it out. It was never anything personal. It wasnt like i was so mad at her. I think i was very concerned about what this meant for our country, very concerned about r ve go change. That, butrede cau to her . It was because it was something that i needed to unpack a lot of emotion with. That is fair. I needed to rationalize a lot of things and rionalize why people would vote for him even though he was saying things that tamron how you learn that is by asking her. Absolutely. Tamron you dont get the answers if you ghost to her. Youve reconciled and will get to that in a minute. The proper eye way i would think is hey girl whats going on over there . Thats what ive learned. The situation it is been a learning lesson but i think i had to go on a personal journey because confrontation is a difficult set object and not something i was cut out. Tamron when you started on following her did . Only on facebook. Tamron did you go and delete those pictures . Now. Tamron so you didnt go total on her, you just kind of stopped her. How did you reconcile or reconnect . I think one of the biggest takeaways from both of us from the show is that its really important to have these conversations even though they might be hard. [applause] tamron ghosted is more common and remount thick relationships. Candace has coasted and started a column that features real have relationships ghosting stars. Candace you dated a guy in college and he ghosted you. Yet he did. Youre laughing now . Yes. Tamron how did you know you are ghosted . I sent him this text. It took all of my an and inmato send this text and i told him that much i like them and no response. Tamron moved. It was right before summer break so three months went by and i didnt hear anythingt arakg. I can talk about it now so it because its like seven years. It was really heartbreaking at the time. Tamron youve been sharing your story to empower people . Yes becse i tnk moment y did i do . Was there something wrong with me . And really its just like he wasnt into you. Tamron omar, let me bring you into here. Omar, omar, omar. Word from my producers, you ghosted numerous women. Is this true omar . Look at this angel face of yours i would never think this. I had a good run for ten years. Tamron what does that mean . Im moving in closer. What does that mean . Commitment was like okay but i wanted my freedom, i couldnt communicate too well so i kind of disappeared. Tamron you just disappeared . I worked for a while and then i met my match. Tamron the player got played . No. No. I met a woman about seven years ago, i ghosted her like stop calling and stopped texting but she was very persistent and she was like the ghostbusters. Tamron omar, i dont now, listen i would just think you could text and say hey im not into you. I was younger. Tamron you are still young. Was younger. I tried to ghost. I ghosted my wife and she is my wife now because she was like a walmart where are you going . Ext. Tamron is this about a relationship phobia question what you said you were worried about commitment. Just commitment. I never been in a relationship for that long and they would say hey bae and to me thats like scary. Ive got ago. Tamron and so you would just leave and at this point you are married. She got me. Tamron is there any advice you can give to people and what lesson that youve learned in this. I learned to communicate. Just say hey i want to have fun, leave me alone. Unat b heshonest tamron i le it how long have you been married now . Two years. Tamron congratulations. Theyre going to stick around, what do you do if youve been ghosted . Do you just keep tracking the person on the big ghostbusters . I dont know. A doctor and a match us. We will have more after the break. Shine for the rest of your tamron we are back in talking about ghosting. Thank you so mh gstg brain. This is painful. This is biology meetsur is is what you can do if you first of all you need to to feel your feelings, no matter how high your selfworth is, you are going to be heard in this situation so dont tough it out, feel it. Dont get stopped up with those emotions. Next thing you have to do is not a build a false narrative when someone goes to you start to blame yourself, you start to feel unworthy. He started to go through the data. What did i do wrong . How did i mess this up question worked is because you feel that it does make a trip. The truth is the person who is ghosting and not dealing with their own discomfort. Thats what omar said. I have a young lady that i mentor and we