Theyre a band of boys from south korea. Theyre very popular. Some people have been camping out for five days, which is sad, really, more than anything. Its because they showed up last night, theyd still be in the front row. Theres no need, but anyway, monsta x is a super popular group. The names, im sorry if i mispronounce. Show hh the larrys not one of the guys. One of the things about this band, they wear a lot of makeup. We thought it would be fun to ask the guys to do an monsta x extreme makeover on a member of our staff. So we picked a member randomly of our staff. And they gathered around, and wow, wait until you see how quickly they did this. Its almost some kind of tv magic. Now here he is. Come on in, guillermo, lets see how you look. [cheers and applause] jimmy you look fantastic. [cheers and applause] jimmy you look like a female, you remember when bugs bunny would dress as a woman . Yeah. Jimmy and elmer fudd would try to have sex with him . Thats you. My god. Jimmy speaking of monsters, President Trump has been [ applause ] as president ial as he can be this week, which is not very. He was in both dayton and el paso yesterday. Presumably he was there to give comfort to those who saved lives and the victims. But he managed to make what should have been a day about others all about him. We had an amazing day. As you know, we left ohio and the love, the respect for the office of the presidency, it was, i wish could you have been in there to see it. I wish you could have been in there. Jimmy yeah, thats what its about, them making him feel good. Fortunately, we didnt have to be there to see it, because shortly after the White House Press secretary told reporters this visit is about the victims and their families, this is not a photo op. Trump tweeted a video, a full video, you may think we altered it, we did not. It is complete with the music and everything. Its like hes batman or something. Can someone please check his brain fluid next time hes in the hospital . I think it might need to be topped off. And i guess some people were okay with it. They think its great. I dont. And then in el paso, he stopped to chat with the hospital staff. And guess who was the topic of conversation this time around . The job youve done, theyre talking about it all over the world. And its an honor to be with you. Look at this group of people. I was here three months ago. We had a speech. What was the name of that arena . That place was packed. What was the name . Come here. That was some crowd. Thank you for all that you do, thank you. And then you had this crazy beto, beto had like 400 people in the parking lot. Jimmy what a heartwarming tribute. That speech hes talking about, he still owes el paso 500,000. He skipped town and left them with the bill. Good dude. He has a fundraiser with a top price of 250,000 a head. Im guessing none of that will go to el paso. While hes there, the democrats will be at the iowa state fair. This is that very stupid time in american politics when the president ial hopefuls have to impress iowans by posing flex to a farm animal sculpted out of butter. Its weird. One of the strangest things about this country is we cant support a candidate for president until we see them doing this, and then we make our decision. So one of the people at the fair, john delaney, hes running for president , too. This is a great shot. Their is the onlyknown photograph of a corn dog eating another corn dog. As you may know i am currently running for office. Last night i announced my, i think its fair to say, historic candidacy to be mayor of dildo in newfoundland. This is big for me, [ applause ] while obviously, my high school yearbook, i was voted to be most likely to be mayor of dildo. My campaign is going well, there is one problem. Theyre saying in order to be mayor i have to be a resident, which seems a little bit unfair, while i have every intention of moving to dildo permanently, some of the locals are skeptical. Locals still arent convinced that kimmel will come to dildo to stay. I dont think so. I dont think mr. Kimmel will come here. Hes not just coming, hes moving. We all know hes joking. Im sure hes not going to leave l. A. And come to dildo. No, never, theres too many smart people here. Not everyone is so skeptical. Do you think hell come here . Id imagine, id imagine so. Jimmy thats right, and when i do get there, guess whos going to be my best friend . Brent, thats right. Well do everything together. Oh, well go skateboarding. You name it. Last night we did something very special for dildo here in hollywood. We named them our sister city. Guillermo got up on a ladder ang this is from the local news, my fellow dildodians returned t p. It was pretty inspirational when jimmy kimmel unveiled dildo as hollywoods twin city. So we have a little surprise of our own. Would you do the honors . Yes. [cheers and applause] there you have it, hollywood, dildos sister city. Jimmy i think thats great. [cheers and applause] we have a sister city. And just think, one day my grandchildren will be able to say, my papa was the most powerful man in dildo. In other world news, theres a controversy in japan right now involving a new mcdonalds item, a new cup for a drink called the mcfizz, which, yeah. There it is. This is the commercial. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la speaking in Foreign Language ] jimmy the cup, you can see is clear, and when you rotate the cup with another cup, it takes on a more adult connotation. Which, that has to be on purpose, right . How can that be . There are a lot of combinations. Could you do it like this. This is the, boy, the morton salt girl really grew up fast, didnt she . That ones called im lovin it. The striped shirt makes me think it might be the hamburglars son. The state with the best drivers is massachusetts. Its like saying utah has the best rappers. Ive been to boston. It doesnt seem right. I thought it might be wise to check in with our expert on all things massachusetts, the pride of seaconch, Brady Fitzpatrick. Hey, ma, ma, park it over there next to the jeep wrangler. Thats my spot, you loser go park your land cruiser elsewhere jimmy my buddy tom brady. Not you again. Is this that weird dude always bothering my little tommy . Jimmy where are you right now . Were in the parking lot at stop and shop on account of salmack being closed. Moms picking up more smokes. I had to dip all day long. Jimmy you dip . You got a problem with that . Ill be back shortly. Dont get in any fights. You dont get any fights. I love you, i love you more jimmy your moms leaving you alone in the car . Isnt that dangerous . Im 26 months old, ive been in more scraps than youve been in, in your whole life. You soft hollywood tree hugger. You want a piece of me jimmy i definitely dont. I want to talk about a report that says massachusetts has the safest drivers in the country. When people think of boston, safe driving doesnt come to mind. Is that so . Jimmy yeah. Hear ye hear ye, drivers in the bay state are the freakin [ bleep ]. Its true. From morrissey boulevard to stennert drive. From the leonard to bunker hill memorial bridge, to the sumner tunnel which goes under the harbor, dont you ever forget, when it comes to operatin motor vehicles, boston drivers are number one were number one jimmy isnt that a little silly . You feel a little silly. Jimmy yeah. Maybe you are a little silly, come to seaconch get a taste of these fists. Jimmy i dont want a taste of your fists. What is going on, you weirdo. I get a fresh carton of lawn darts and you talk about tastin my little boys fists . Jimmy i never said. I say the, i said i didnt want to. You think youre too good . You want to taste organic, gluten free table fists. Mark my words, these are the besttastin fists in the entire state of massachusetts. Whole state. You dont believe me, say hello to my friends, rocky and marciano. What the [ bleep ] are you doing driving like that, baby on board open your eyes . Are you blind. You want a piece of us . Well fight a blind guy. Well fight a blind guy. Jimmy tommy Brady Fitzpatrick and his mother darlene. One more thing before we forge ahead. Its thursday night, which means its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week. It is this week in unnecessary censorship. And tonight on your community, amanda is in dildo where the community is celebrating big [ bleep ] this weekend. Swollen, man, you ready to go . Ery much excited. Geez, youre all [ bleep ]ed up. A new study about the effects of [ bleep ]ing and smoking marijuana. The second greatest day of my life was the day i [ bleep ] karen whitaker, made her my wife. It would have been a long [ bleep ]. Is it true tiffany has trouble [ bleep ]ing good men . Well, yeah. I love my giza dream sheets. The first night you [ bleep ] on my sheets youll never want to [ bleep ] on anything else. The letter c. Oh, c is for [ bleep ], i said [ bleep ], i said [ bleep ]. Jimmy tonight on the show music from monsta x with French Montana leslie jones is here and well be right back with a special mystery celebrity guest so stick around. [cheers and applause] Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live brought to you by subaru. man go home. woman banjo sorry, it wont happen again. Come on, lets go home. After 10 years, weve covered a lot of miles. Good thing i got a subaru. avo love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. avo get 0 during the subaru a lot to love event. Get everything you need to go back big at the low prices you love. So they can deliver them a sandwich. 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Whitens inbetween teeth. And protects from future stains. Crest. Healthy, beautiful smiles for life. But dad, youve got allstate. With accident forgiveness they guarantee your rates wont go up just because of an accident. Smart kid. Indeed. Are you in good hands . Jimmy we have a very special treat for you a legendary broadcaster who now hosts what podcast fancy magazine calls the greatest podcast of all time the 2nd season of the ron burgundy podcast kicks off today on iheartradio making his latenight tv standup comedy debut. Please welcome ron burgundy. [cheers and applause] thank you thank you oh, thats so nice. Thank you very much. [cheers and applause] wow, please, standing ovation, get out of town. Much deserved. Much deserved. Thank you. Please. Thank you. How is, how is everyone tonight . Good . Yeah . Great. Jimmy kimmel, everyone, one of the greats, right . Jimmy kimmel. One of the best. Best in the biz. Wheres everyone from tonight . All over . All over . Yeah . Do, do we have any folks from glendale . Lets hear it for baldwin hills. Yeah . Rancho cucamonga. Los felis . Whats that part, not echo park. You wouldnt call it hollywood. No, its past western. Oh, i know, eho. Eho in the house . No, but i love southern california. Transition, transition. How many of you out there have watched pornography . Show of hands . No joke here. Just, just was checking. Gotcha. I thought i was the only one. But dating is hard. Pretty hard out there, dating. These, these new apps. Theyve got, theyve got dating apps, right . And theyre called dating apps. And so i go on one of these things, and i put in all my information about me, ron burgundy, my desires, favorite bands, activities, the whole biz. And then i sit around and wait. And apparently, theres only one woman whos an exact match. She lives in borneo. And her name is filacca kimkatta, cannot make this stuff up. But i did, i made that up for your entertainment. What else . What else . What else is going on . Technology. Yeah, i dont hate technology. I went on ancestry. Com, you know, the one where they find out where youre from, and i did, i did the pinprick and the urine sample. And the saliva test. And turns out, guess where im from . Alcohol. No, no, no, no. No. Seriously. What else . Buffalo wild wings. Theyre not buffalo. Theyre not wild. Its chicken. Where are my weed smokers at . Yeah. Ah, i feel you. Imagine Jack Nickelson and Jimmy Stewart at the weed dispensary. It would go Something Like this. Hey, man. Im Jack Nickelson. And me and my friend Jimmy Stewart want to get high, man. We want to go see a lakers game, man. That, that, that, thats right. My names Jimmy Stewart, and i have a stutter, that gets more, more, more, more pronounced when we get high. I cant do impressions, folks. Im not good. Its hard, im not very good. Not my forte. Im no rich little. Thanks, folks. Next week, you can catch me at the san antonio pizza hut. Not sure they do standup comedy there, but im going to give did a try. Youve been a great audience, thank you so much. Jimmy ron burgundy, everyone, ron, ron, come on, ron. Yeah. Jimmy well, that was, what a great show. Thank you so much. Jimmy i want to thank you. I mean, on behalf of everyone. For choosing us to make your standup comedy debut. I must have done pretty well because you brought me over. Jimmy whats gone on with your journalism career . Are you putting that on the side while you do their . Oh, thats real. Yeah, thats real stuff. Jimmy feel like my moms putting me to sleep. Its the first time ive done standup, i steal some of the jokes. But you can cherry pick. Jimmy who is your favorite standup comedy . Richard pryor, sam kenson. Sam mule deer. Oh, nannette. Im big into nannette. Jimmy season two of the ron burgundy podcast is debuting. Are you changing anything for the new season . We are releasing a lot of the podcast in braille. Jimmy who is your dream guest for the podcast . My dream guest . Is me. Besides me would be the pope. Id love to get the pope and youre my third. Youre top three. Jimmy im happy to be in top three. Thank you for having me. Jimmy the ron burgundy podcast can be heard exclusively on iheartradio. Well be right back. Ron burgundy, everyone. Well be right back. [cheers and applause] at Progressive Park insurance themed fun children yeah announcer ride the totally realistic traffic jam. Beep, beep, beep, beep children traffic jam announcer and the worlds first never bump bumper cars. Children never bump announcer its a real savings hootenanny with options that fit your budget. Thats fun for the whole family. Announcer only at progressive par. Maybe an insurance park was a bad idea. Yeah. Yep. With this one little nexgard chew comes the confidence, youre doing whats right, to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. Its the 1 vet recommended protection. And its safe for puppies. Nexgard. What one little chew can do. What do you want to do when you graduate . I want to help people. You want to help people, he wants to sue people. To the wait did frowe just winners. Prouders everyone uses their phone differently. Thats why Xfinity Mobile lets you design your own data. Now you can share it between lines. Mix with unlimited, and switch it up at anytime so you only pay for what you need. Its a different kind of Wireless Network designed to save you money. Save up to 400 a year on your wireless bill. Plus get 250 back when you buy a new samsung note. Click, call or visit a store today. The clear the rack sale is on at nordstrom rack. Find the brands you love from nordstrom and take an extra 25 off redtag clearance. Shop anytime at nordstromrack. Com and get easy returns in store. Clear the rack is happening this friday through monday at nordstrom rack. [cheers and applause] jimmy hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight, from the movie angry birds 2 leslie jones is here. Then the kids have been lining up outside for days the band is all the way from south korea their song is called, who do you love monsta x with French Montana from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. [cheers and applause] next week, we will do this all over again, with gerard butler, bob odenkirk, henry winkler, jim gaffigan, whitney cummings, roselyn sanchez, david alan grier, dave salmoni and his wild animal friends plus music from pete yorn, daniel caesar, snoop dogg, and the avett brothers. So please join us for all of that. You look great, guillermo. I like this look. Me too. Jimmy what do you see when you see that looking back at you . I see 25, 26. Jimmy 25, you should start a band called monsta mex. Me and me and my cousin juan. Jimmy our next guest is an emmynominee, writer and actor whom you know from 5 seasons of saturday night live and a bit of ghostbusting on the side. Her latest is called the angry birds movie 2. What, youve never heard of thermo emulsifiers . Okay. So you do that, and im going to go feed my baby, yes, im going to feed my baby, there you go. Whos my baby . Youre my baby. Jimmy the angry birds movie 2 opens tuesday. Please welcome leslie jones. [cheers and applause] jimmy welcome. How you doin . I am doin awesome [cheers and applause] jimmy you look great. And youre extra tall today. Yes, i am. Im always tall, im 6 feet tall, but with the heels and the confidence, im about 67. Jimmy a lot of people think of you as a new yorker, maybe because of saturday night live. Yes. Jimmy but you actually spent a lot of your life here in l. A. In l. A. , yes, yes, yes. Jimmy you grew up here. We moved out here in 82. My dad was an electronic engineer and got a job with kglh, with stevie wonder. Jimmy the radio station. I started in radio and knew a lot of engineers. Theyre like an interesting group. My dad was very interesting. He would love this. Jimmy i bet he would. You did some radio, too, right . I was a deejay in college. I went by the name deejay frosty. Jimmy you played records . Yes, i opened up every show. What happened was i didnt really know what i wanted to be but i knew communications was part of it. They needed a deejay friday night. Orange county they have the music playing behind a commercialtype channel. Thats what i did. People would come out to the quad and i would play music. But i started the show off with this is deejay frosty, a