Run for mayor of dildo. They dont have a mayor. They dont seem to want a mayor because theyre not having an election for mayor. But local polls show me leading 5248. Bad news is i am leading no one by 4 . I dispatched an advance team. They went 4,000 miles and led by close and mosttrusted adviser guillermo, we will hear from him in dildo moments from now. This is the time of year when we offer people walking past our studio the floppertunity to take their clothes off. We have a pool in the back of our theater. Memories are just waiting to be made. This is the 14th summer, 14 years ago, a mysterious voice told me, if you build it, they will flop. And we did. Lets go to cousin sal, sal, by the way, i want to mention, [cheers and applause] has his own show on fox sports 1 called lock it in, a sports gambling show. Theyll probably cancel it. Jimmy your gambling problem paid off in a big way. Have you found someone on the street we can bet on . I have. Lets bet on some bellies. Jimmy very good. What is your name . Eric. Jimmy eric, where you from . Minneapolis. Jimmy what do you do . Human resources. Jimmy they complain about other people and things theyve done . I help them find the door sometimes, too. Jimmy its time to cut loose. I know you have a stressful job. Have you belly flopped before . Yes, but not on tv. Jimmy what did you have for lunch today . A chicken sandwich. Jimmy o well get to see that, too. Come on, well get you going, and dressed or undressed. Lets see who else we have out there. If its just eric, it wont be much of a competition. Hello. Hi, whats your name . Courtney. Jimmy where are you from . Houston, texas. Jimmy what do you do for work . Im manager at a tanning salon. Jimmy you seem very fair skinned. Im a very good before and after of spray tans. Jimmy thats got to be a weird job, huh . It is. You see a lot of interesting people. Jimmy i bet you see a lot of interesting parts of a lot of interesting people, too. All right, come on through and well get you up on the board, well get eric and courtney. Oh, theres eric. Hi, eric. How are you . [cheers and applause] speaking of flops, our president is, according to the washington post, President Trump has now made more than 12,000 false or misleading claims since he took office two and a half years ago, 12,000. If trumps nose grew every time he told a lie he could use it as a zip line straight to vladimir putin. If you were to read all the lies hes told aloud, it would take 33 hours to get through them all. Trump has now told more whoppers than hes eaten, and thats a lot. On friday, President Trump left washington for a tenday vacation which he insists is not a vacation, so make that 12,001, because this is how he spent the day yesterday, not on vacation, golfing with john daly, wearing an American Flag for pants. John daly tweeted, im proud to be an american, especially with this man leading our country, thanks for a great day, potus dad. What kind of bet did those two make . And look at this photo. Really zoom in there. They look like coowners of a water park that got shut down. For giving kids pink eye or something. Oh. Very good. Hi, everyone. Yes, go on through. Go on through. [cheers and applause] all right, all right. We have preowned bathing suits for you to wear, dont worry about lice. After a couple rocky days, joe biden picked up a big endorsement. A big democrat is throwing their hat behind joe biden. Dick sweat endorsed the current primary front runner. Jimmy do you really hate the name richard that much . Weve got to get dick sweat up to dildo. Thats [cheers and applause] my Mayoral Campaign is getting a lot of attention from the media in canada. There have been a lot of stories on the subject, including this from the cbc. You can see the sign just behind me. Jimmy loves dildo, kimmel for mayor. These signs are peppered all over dildo. As far as this goes for jimmy for mayor, ive covered a few political campaigns, and i havent seen one so onesided before. So i think he has a pretty good shot. Jimmy well, thank you, adam. Appreciate that. And this is from ntv. This is about the impact my campaign has had on the local economy. Its peak tourism season in dildo, and the weather isnt the only reason. Jimmy kimmels run for mayor has the town talking. Its crazy. People have never seen so big a crowd in me life. Friends from st. Johns recommended we come here. Ive been everywhere else you can poke a stick, but i havent been to dildo. Jimmy all right, i think ive found my first lady. So i havent been elected, im already taking dildo to the top. My team has been working very hard, posting signs all over town. You can see theyve got signs on bridges there, signs, basically, were turning what was once a pristine village into a postercovered mess. Most of the signs are being stolen, which is fine. Stealing will be allowed under my administration in dildo. Lets go live now to one of the most popular spots in town, the dildo boathouse inn where guillermo has gathered many of my supporters. Woo jimmy the cream of the crop. Guillermo, hows everything . Everythings great, jimmy jimmy i guess the most important is, have you found any weed yet . [ laughter ] ill take that as a yes. Over here. Its all good, jimmy. Jimmy did he have some for you. Indeed i did. Jimmy thats nug, my best friend in dildo, andrew, karen, john, dean, and the gentleman dressed as elvis is dennis, the owner of the boathouse. Are there other elvises in dildo, dennis . Not that i know of. Jimmy what about dennises, are there other dennises there . Probably a few. Jimmy lloyd pretty, who is known as captain dildo, the town mascot, hi, lloyd, how are you . [cheers and applause] not only do you sometimes dress, why arent you dressed as captain dildo right now, lloyd . Its a little too hot for that, jimmy. Jimmy you do have the captain dildo statue. This is the official statue, not the one that was stolen recently, is it not . No, its not. Jimmy lets get a closer look at captain dildo. I have a feeling this is something kids are going to really love. Can we make that a little less terrifying when i become mayor . [ laughter ] guillermo, wt d today . What was your day like . Jimmy, weve been campaign for you. Jimmy youve been campaigning, not complaining . Dildos all yours, jimmy. Jimmy you think so . Yes, 100 . Jimmy the reaction been positive . Yes, of course. Jimmy thats great news. Im ready to unveil my First Campaign ad. Are you ready to see it . Lets roll it. Here we go. Way up in newfoundland, which turns out is in canada, theres a special place, a little gem of a city that needs a leader. My history with dildo goes back weeks. I didnt know, like, who was like jimmy kimmel, and i will to go on google and make some search because i dont watch tv. Even though we havent met, i know dildo people. Like the city you love, i am flexible but firm. And as mayor, i will fight for you, not with you. I will bring back dildo pride, and ill protect your Scenic Shores with a sweeping new environmental plan. Dildo needs a captain. I would love to steer this ship. Jimmy kimmel, mayor of dildo. Paid for by my best friend nug. So there you have it. Jimmy all right, what do you think . [cheers and applause] all right, well, thanks, guys. Keep up the good work. I want you to know, i will not disappoint you. When i am elected mayor i will bend over backwards for dildo. Weve got bellies to flop here in hollywood. Its time for our 14th annual summer pedestrian belly flop competition. Lets meet our judges. She is a actor, comedian, host of the reality baking competition, nailed it on netflix, nicole byer. Hello. Hello this is a real treat. I cant wait. Jimmy what, in your opinion, makes a great belly flop . Usually i like a big fatty who just takes a big leap and makes a very big splash. Jimmy i love it, nicole, i like the way you think. Next up, a threetime olympic gold medallist, a true american hero, mr. Sean white hello, sean how are you, sean . Thanks for having me. Jimmy are you prepared to give the winner one of your gold medals . Yes. Jimmy wow. Look at that, shaun. Anything for a good flop. Jimmy she is a musician, cosmetics entrepreneur and winner of rupauls drag race, trixie. Hello, trixie hello. Jimmy the makeup is spectacular. Are you at all worried about being in the splash zone . This isnt my first time getting wet on this show, jimmy, i would think you would know that. Jimmy is that waterproof or are we in danger of streaking . In my line of business we always do waterproof, yes. Jimmy thank you, trixie, our first flopper is ready to go, and that is eric. How are you feelin, eric . Im feeling good, jimmy. Jimmy moments ago hundred clothes on, and now you dont. I have something on. Jimmy three, two, one, belly flop [cheers and apau] i keric okay. Jimmy lets take a look at the slow motion instant replay. Eric went for the mummytype approach. He just kind of fell into the water. Lets go to the judges now for their scores. Nicoles drowning. Oh, no. You oh, wow. My contacts, i dont know if its in or out. Jimmy nicole, you look like you got hit by a tsunami. I feel like i got hit by a tsunami. Eric, youre not my friend i mean, i, wow. Jimmy give him a ten. Shaun white. You are moist as well. What do you think, shaun . I went ten. Jimmy a ten. Shaun white. Were on our way to a possible perfect score. Trixie, what do you think . Although you splashed a drag queen in the face, which is homophobic, you get a 9. Jimmy trixie, what do you say . You got a 29. Thats almost impossible to beat. Thats a good score. By the way, hes bleeding. Jimmy how did you wiped up bleeding . I dont know. Jimmy lets get him in an ambulance and go to our next flopper. This is how we should decide the democratic nominee for president , by the way. Yes, all right, courtney, how are you . Im good, how are you . Jimmy im doing well, thank you very much. Courtney, you dont have much of a belly to flop with, do you . I dont, im so sorry. Jimmy should the judges take that into account, your obvious handicap . Hopefully ill get brownie points for not having a little cushion. Jimmy are you ready to do this . Yes. Jimmy three, two, one, belly flop all right, lets look at that in slow motion again before we get our scores. Courtney in slow motion, she didnt quite get flat over the water, which is really want you want, nicole, what do you say . It was nice, it was very, very pretty, but it wasnt a big splash. Jimmy very generous, nicole. Shaun. I thought it was great. She had the distance, the intensity, but i went with a nine. Jimmy a nine shaun gives. Finally, trixie . Very thin, very blond and beautiful, reminds me of somebody i know. Experiment with the pregnancy. So seven. Jimmy courtney, the judges have spoken, and i believe you got a 24. Ill take it. Jimmy you really have no choice but to take it. Take this, too. Jimmy well have more flopping as the show continues. Thank you very much, courtney, tonight on the show, we have a great show. Que have music from daniel caesar. Roselyn sanchez is here. And well be right back with Henry Winkler. So stick around. Abcs Jimmy Kimmel Live, brought to you by jimmy johns. To maximize freshness. Hey. Which is great,. Cool. Unless you dont live within 5 minutes of a jimmy johns. Thats why jimmy johns is buying someone a house, a really real house in a jimmy johns delivery zone. For real. Tell us why it should be you at jimmyjohns. Com. Because sandwich. Super saturday . Tell us why it should be you at jimmyjohns. Com. Take an extra 15 off . Graphic tees are just 7. 64. Save on girls stretch denim. Womens shoes. And the keurig kmini plus. 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Then, his album is called case study ohone. Daniel caesar from the mercedesbenz stage. Tomorrow, jim gaffigan will be here. Dave salmoni is bringing wild animals. Well have music from snoop dogg. And on thursday gerard butler, David Alan Grier and the avett brothers. So please join us for all of that. If any of our belly floppers have any trouble in the pool tonight, they can rest assured that our next guest can put on a Leather Jacket and water skis and rescue them. Please welcome the one and only Henry Winkler jimmy how are you doing . You look good. Jim, you do, too. I dressed up for you. Jimmy you look great, you look nice. I was thinking about you a lot today. You know im a little obsessed with you, right . I had the lunch box with fonzy on it, and people talk about the jump the shark. And i remember being really nervous when you did jump the shark. I did all the waterskiing except the jump. Jimmy you can see very clearly which parts are you and which parts are not you. Yes. I had the better legs. Jimmy this is you by the way. This is me. Jimmy its pretty good, i have to say. And look how happy you are at the end. Yeah thats right. [cheers and applause] so honestly, if you watch that smile, half the smile is henry going oh, my god, i made it, and the other half is fonz going, aye, i made it. My father, a very short, german jew, he said to me, tell the producers, that guy marshall, that you water ski. Jimmy he did . No, dad. No, tell him, and you go to the white house, take cake. Jimmy did you, well, obviously, you told garry that you water ski. Finally, after a year or two, i said to garry, my father wants you to know that i water ski, and there it was. Jimmy did you take cake to the white house . I did. Because they didnt have any. Jimmy youve got to listen to your dad. In the jacket, i would think fonzy would not wear the Leather Jacket under the life jacket. It was hard to look at that yellow tire around my stomach and still be cool. I had to, really. Jimmy and yet you did, somehow. I had to, i had to overcome that yellow piece of rubber. Jimmy and you did overcome it. You certainly did. Yeah. Jimmy i dont think, i wonder if young people understand, well, first of all, what a huge star you were, because everyone was watching happy days. Everyone in the country was watching. At that time, there were only three networks, so 58 of the audience was watching happy days. Jimmy 58 , almost everybody was watching happy days. And this is a magazine almost entirely devoted to you. I spent a good hour looking at this magazine today, its at home with fonzie. Youre taking out the garbage. This may be the first, stars are just like us, moment in a way. I havent seen that in so long. There you are. Is this really like your kitchen . Yes, i rented an apartment with a wet bar. Jimmy uhhuh, cool. And in the refrigerator, i had a tuna fish sandwich, ambrose yeah salad and two boxes after almondine wine for guests because i dont drink. Jimmy it says youre passionate about ceramics. Okay, so this was a lie. Jimmy uhhuh. It was. This is my very first photo shoot with abc. And they said, youve got to do something. Youve got to be active, and so they put me in front of a wheel. Jimmy this is i have never touched clay in my life. But didnt i look good . Jimmy you look really good, very artistic. [cheers and applause] i have one more thing. Now this is when you know youve made it. Henry winklers favorite recipes. Pot roast, potato pancakes and chocolate mousse. I actually have never made them, but they are my favorite. Stacy, my wife, makes an unbelievable pot roast. I love potato pancakes with applesauce and sour cream and chocolate mousse. I was, at one time, my favorite dessert. Jimmy i feel like my whole childhood was a lie. No, i ate that, i just didnt make it. Jimmy i accept that as a poor substitute, but now, you have really reached, in my opinion, the pinnacle. Golden globe, all that stuff, but you were on the cover of costco connection magazine. That is an honor i once received. I wouldnt say i received the honor so much as i hounded them until they put me on the cover of costco connection magazine. I think you deserve to be. Jimmy i was on the cover. At least once a year. Jimmy i want to be like oprah where i was on every single one. This is truly unbelievable. Jimmy you write these books. There are 28, and they are in costco. And lynn oliver and i have tried so hard since 2003 to get into costco, because i go to costco. Jimmy are you a costco guy . Are you kidding me . I leave with a toilet roll that you cant carry there are so many. I went there to get goggles for my grandchildren. I have five, you about you must buy 96. Jimmy you have to have more grandchildren. Its not costcos responsibility. You got to have more kids in the family. Im talking to my kids. Jimmy please do. 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