He became the first president of the United States to misspell his own name. Lashing out at google, and he tweeted, they suppressed negative stories on Hillary Clinton and boosted stories on donald ttump. I guess when your fingers are covered with dipping sauce it happens. But how do you misspell your name . I have to believe that if Sarah Huckabee sanders was still alive, god rest her soul, she would be out on the lawn shouting that his name is and always has been donald ttump and we were too fake news to know it. Ttump was at the white house watching tv. In the two and a half years hes been in office, do you know how many days hes spent at his golf clubs . 198 days. You know how much these golf trip the cost us, the taxpayers . 110 million. They estimate 40 million on the airplane, and 50 million on the red lights that keep the cheeseburgers tan. I wish he played golf every day. I wish he would join the pga tour and go away. But what i do find interesting are his thoughts from when obama was president and he played golf. Obama ought to get off the golf course and get down there. They stay awake at night thinking about what to do, whereas obamas out playing golf. He plays so much golf he doesnt have enough time to convince congress to do did. You cant be playing golf whether japan when japan is crashing and burning. He plays more golf than people on the pga tour. Golf, golf, golf, golf, more, more. Learning how to chip, how to drive, how to putt. I want more jimmy thats what he says when hes making love, too. Not only 199 days. Not only was trump critical of obama playing golf he made it very clear if he was president he wouldnt be doing that. Im going to be working for you. Im not going to have time to go play golf and, believe me. Jimmy you know hes lying when he says believe me. So promises made. Promises kept. The golfer in chief is trying to reach a new group of voters. Hes pulling out all the stops to win support from africanamericans. They believe that the key to reelection is black voters, which is why hes been tweeting about a ap rocky every day and also the reason for this new campaign ad. All yall listen up. President trump is up in here, and he needs you to get his back. Big d keepin it real, doin his thang with omarosa and kanye. He got a vision for the future that is tight. What the hell do you have to lose . And damn if that white boy dont know how to get down. Vote dj trump for the commander in chizziif. Because he is always invited to the cookout. Look at my africanamerican, look at him. Are you the greatest . Paid for by white people, yeah, boy jimmy mike pence is out spreading the word of the lord today. He was at Alliance Defending freedom where he was asked for advice on how to handle critics in a christian way. What advice can you give do us about how to handle these kinds of attacks when were faced with them . I would say just maybe a couple of things. Number one is, spend more time on your knees than on the internet. [ applause ] jimmy wow. You dirt eyy, dirty dog. He knows it doesnt have to be either or. He knows. More marijuanamericans are usin marijuana than ever before. Theres a new National Survey that says cannabis use is up 47 in states where it is legal and 33 in states where it isnt. The state with the highest consumption rate per capita is, do you know . It is oregon and vermont is number two. Which explains ben and jerry. And experts believe there are a number of reasons why pot use is skyrocketing. The biggest one being the news. So. [ laughter ] if youve been watching this show, this month, you know that i have become entranced with a town in newfoundland, a small town. There are only about 1500 residents of this town, but what makes it stand out in a big way is the name, which apparently was the subject of an early 90s profile on the cbc. About 1,000 people live in this little fishing village on trinity bay. Its similar to hundreds of villages on newfoundlands east coast, except for one thing. Its name. Its called dildo, a word that has come to mean an artificial penis. Jimmy yes, indeed, it has come to mean that. Tourists have been known to come here only to have their pictures taken standing beside this sign. Jimmy i hope thats his profile picture on tinder. Jimmy ive been doing a lot of research on dill dido. Every summer they have scavenger hunts and dances. Stay away from the cup of chowder and the dildo puddin though. Sounds like a lot of fun. We are here in dildo for dildo days. We have longtime volunteer daisy smith as master of the suf. What is your favorite part of dildo days . I love the fireworks. Thats my favorite. Thank you so very much. Youre welcome. Thats whats happening here in your community in dildo for dildo days. Jimmy how many times do they say it . Well, yes, and they have fireworks, and theres even a dildo days parade. And this year they had a special grand marshal. I would say a couple of things. Number one is spend more time on your knees than on the internet. Jimmy right, right, right. Thank you. Anyway, were going to be chatting with the folks in dildo tomorrow. The dildodians as they are known, and if all goes well, we may permanently move the show there, so, back here in the United States [ applause ] it is a very strange time in america. It is a time when our president is building walls and telling people to go back where they came from. With all that happening, its important to remember that many people still dream americans. Every week, immigrants from countries all around the world take the oath of citizenship. Ceremonies are held in libraries, classrooms and courthouses, which is fine, but i think becoming an american should be more exciting than a trip to the dmv. So weve invited a group of real, new americans to come to this show for a big welcome to the country, and for that, i turn it whoever now to dave joseph, the official game announcer for the los angeles kings. Dave . Thanks, jimmy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your new american citizens on the boats and on the plane theyre comin to america from mexicali mexico, a medical data specialist who loves puzzles and is afraid of snakes. Jose alberto ruiz. From tu nenisia at 55, she ha masters in finance. From lahore, khan mirozi. From the philippines, at 54, her favorite meal is carb carbonara. From poland, at 59, a Software Engineer ran motorcycle enthusiast, whose nickname is goleembiowski. From rio de janeiro, a professional singer who loves getti getting presents and hates to fly, gracie ladies and gentlemen, welcome your new, american citizens jimmy wow, congratulations to our new american citizens. And welcome to this country. Now that you are officially citizens of the United States, there are so many amazing opportunities available to you, and i could go through them all, or we could have threetime grammy awardwinning musician, brad paisley, share them with you in song. Brad [cheers and here we go congratulations citizens were happy that youre here come on in take a load off grab yourself an icecold beer and now that youre salutin the old red white and blue listen while i tell you about the things that you can do you can exercise your freedom of speech eat a stick of butter at a county fair wear your crocs with a pair of socks go to target in your underwear have sex in the bed of a truck catch a foul ball in an apple pie drive your hummer through a National Park and blow off your fingers on the 4th of july sleepout in front of an apple store where an American Flag bikini way too small are you gettin all this . Its in the bill of rights. You can dress your dog like lady gaga make him his own instagram go to drybar get a blowout marry a kardashian you call your uncle dumb on facebook convince yourself the earth is flat become a Youtube Influencer and flip out because the mcrib is back were bringin it home now fill your purse with costco samples get kicked off a reality show watch the Majestic Eagle fly and listen to this guitar solo my country tis of thee sweet land of liberty of thee i sing land where my fathers died land of the pilgrims pride from every Mountain Side let freedom ring [cheers and applause] jimmy wow. Wow. Unbelievable. Thank you, brad paisley and congratulations to our new fellow american citizens thank you very much, brad. Hey, we got a great show tonight. Music from max featuring quinn xcii, robin thede is here, and well be right back with ben stiller. So stick around Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by sap. One to five . Its more like five million. 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Yes for less. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, she is the force behind and in front of a black lady sketch show which can be seen on hbo robin thede is here. Then his song is called love me less max with quinn xcii from the mercedesbenz stage. Tomorrow night, josh gad and michael the miz mizanin will join us, and well have music from chris janson. And on thursday leslie jones, music from monsta x with french montana, and a very special surprise guest will be here to do something he or she has never done before. So please write it on a postit and stick it on your head. You know our first guest on screen from movies too beloved to even bring up. And he is just as successful behind the camera. He is director and executive producer of the 7part showtime series escape at dannemora which is currently nominated for twelve emmy awards. Please welcome ben stiller. [cheers and applause] my son is a very big guillermo fan. Say hi. Jimmy you can take him home for the weekend, if you want . Should we . Jimmy how old is your son now . He is 14. Jimmy you were just on vacation, right . Yes, i went to hawaii for a few weeks, very nice, very nice. Jimmy are you able to relax . You dont seem like a relax aero me. I do, i do like to relax. I like coconut art. Jimmy oh, really . You make art out of coconuts . No, i just, it was a joke. Jimmy it was a joke. I do, no, i do. It just takes me a little while. I got into tennis a few years ago, i love tennis, i love watching tennis. I started late in life. Jimmy when did you start . I started five or six years ago, and then of course i got an injury. Already i was bad and then i got an injury in my elbow which compounded everything. This time when i went to hawaii i took it up. I was there with my brotherinlaw and this guy i know on this island, an island dude whos a friend of mine whos a very chilledout guy, and we played before and he said hey, lets do doubles. So i immediately went to the tennis pro to train. Jimmy did you really . I wanted to get some hits with brian, at first it started out good because he was giving us basic sort of, you know, followthrough, contact point, backswing. And then it kind of very quickly turned into professional coaching session which my skills just dont live up to. He goes wait, wait youre flatfooted. Thats old man tennis. You want to play old man tennis . No, im not old. Im spritely. Im mig im spritely. Then he started giving me these skill sets i couldnt live up to, punish my backhand. Put me in a corner, hurt me. Teach knme a lesson. Then im going to hit back a help me mommy shot, then what do you do . Charge the net. Then what do you do . I dont know, what do i do . You put on a hazmat suit, because its a crime scene, and youre about to mop it up. I dont even know what it means. Jimmy this is very intense for tennis. Yeah, and i of course hit three balls over the net in the whole thing. Jimmy yeah, because you get worked up. But i also like the idea that you are having a friendly match with a chill dude on the island and you decide you need to take lessons for it. Yes, and it really didnt work. Jimmy no, it never works. You cant learn in a quick. We were destroyed. Jimmy oh, you were. Han thand they were like wea flipflops. Jimmy thats when you know you are in trouble. Were digging it back and forth. Like the u. S. Open or something. When its doubles, you turn on your partner, right . Because were both not good. When i finally get one over the net and it comes back and he doesnt get it over im looking at him like what is your problem . Jimmy hes actually erased your accomplishment. And then i go back to the training that hour pour pro gav. Look, youre going to play up, im going to playback and then were going to break their spirit. I dont know how were going to do that. Jimmy are they good sports . One of them is a fisherman. He offered me an ahi. I was so riled up. I dont want your ahi, i want a win jimmy you rejected his fish. In hawaii, that could get you thrown off the island, Something Like that. Yeah. Were good. Jimmy it was not a relaxing vacation it sounds like. The game itself, i left much more tense than when i started. Jimmy thats great, what else do you do in hawaii . I like to watch the Tour De France. Jimmy on television . Yeah, does anybody know the Tour De France . [ applause ] but its a very specific sport. A threeweek bike race around france. Jimmy yeah. They go over 1500 miles. Its like running a marathon every day and basically five hours of watching men cycle for three weeks. Jimmy you watch all of it . I do watch all of it. Because if you dont watch all of it it doesnt moean anything. But if you do watch all of it, it still means very little, its hard to understand. Its ra complex race. There are different competitions during the race, the king of the mountains, the green jersey, the white jersey, and the yellow jersey. If a guy has a flat, its very exciting. Jimmy is it really . Yeah, because the guy with the bike car comes. Its the opposite of watching a formula 1 pit stop. The opposite of that excitement. But if youre into the race, its very exciting. Jimmy and is there a guy you root for . Yeah, well, i mean, you know, its hard because every year theyre different, a lot of belgian and dutch bikers. The guy, it was his first tire de france. Last year it was garrett thomas, a great racer, then pools of crashed in the time trial. Jimmy do you have friends who watch this with you. I have one friend who watches it with me. Jimmy you do. Yes. Jimmy and the two of you sit there and watch bicycle racing. Yes, and we yes, ae wyes, a people and my kids ask o me ovie over. Aquas pronounced jimmy is it really . Aqua man is akwaman . Waman . Wama . What about aqua velva . Thats aqua velva. I knew it as aqua velva as a child. Jimmy what weve learned more than anything is never to go on vacation with you. Ben stiller is here. His great series well show you a clip from that next. Well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by 47 meters down uncaged. In theaters friday, august 16th. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. And take 25 off our best active brands plus everyone gets kohls cash save on girls nike shorts. And shoes for the family. Young mens adidas tees are just 17. 99. And save on under armour backpacks. Plus free amazon returns now at all kohls stores kohls. wholding you back . Excessive underarm sweating qbrexza is the first and only oncedaily prescription cloth towelette approved to treat excessive underarm sweating. Also known as axillary hyperhidrosis. Open one today and see what unfolds. man vo do not use qbrexza if you have certain medical conditions. Qbrexza may cause new or worsening urinary retention, problems with control of your body temperature and blurred vision. The most common side effect reported was dry mouth. Call your Healthcare Provider if you experience side effects. woman vo imagine how life can unfold. Ask a dermatologist how you may reduce excessive underarm sweating with qbrexza. In here, its all bars up, bars down, bars across. And the people inside . They get to be right angles too. What the [ bleep ] are you talking about . And there are the angles that get bent. Jimmy that is escape from dannemora. Boy, this is, i love this series. Thanks. Jimmy i was so bummed knowing it was going to end and its like it was canceled in advance. Yes, well, they got caught. Jimmy they got caught. We knew it had an ending. Thats kind of what i liked about it, this amazingly finite story, and it all happened over the course of six months where they started this attempt, and created this relationship with tilley, which is patrigs yecia arquettes character. Jimmy bonnie hunt was amazing. And you got 12 emmy nominations. Did the guys who beat you in tennis know you got 12 emmy nominations for this . Oh, yeah. They really cared. Jimmy im sure. You won the dga award for best director. Yeah. [cheers and applause] jimmy thats from the other directors. Yeah. Jimmy do you like not having to act in something . Yes because everything i directed u