Gabbard, maynard and hartley. And the last two names i made up, but no, there are too many people. The candidates, i have to say, they really came out swinging tonight. No punches were pulled. Here we go oh gehrig goes in there punching. Jimmy i think we have the wrong clip. That was from the reds and pirates last night. Lets look at it again in slow motion. From the other angle, it looked like he connected, but not exactly the ufc from this one. Watch the Police Officer here, because hes just like uh, not, nothing to see here. Go back to your seats. Get me a pretzel. Back to cnn. Cnn had ten candidates last night and another ten to talk to tonight. That is not a group of h r block employees here to help you with your w9. Those are liberal hopefuls that got intense at times, but there were moments of levity. Bill de blasio, the mayor of new york was funny. He said when i was president , and that was good. Cory booker from new jersey said we need real marijuana justice, which i think is a new seth rogen movie coming out this summer. The businessman, andrew yang said were too late to solve global warming, so we need to get to higher ground. Hes basically got the same Climate Change policy as the rock. And once again, Kamala Harris and joe biden fought like a divorcing couple on a padd paddleboat. It was joe versus the volcano. He said he wasnt going to be as polite this time around. You heard mayor de blasio, whats your response . My response is. [ long burp ] the debate will be right back, right after this short break. Jimmy he didnt even say excuse me. Thats, joe biden, you know, hes 76 years old. He tried to went over Younger Voters by using some of the hip slang from today. This idea is a bunch of malarkey. Jimmy good luck freeing a ap rocky with language like that. President trump has been watching and tweeting. The president weighed in with his review of night one, lashing out at cnn moderator don lemon. He wrote, don lemon, the dumbest man on television. Uh, hello. Insinuated last night while asking a debate question that i was a racist, when in fact, i am the leastest, the least racist person notice world. He puts that in quotes, like its from a study or something. You know who said that about him . Him hes quoting himself. Back to don lemon, perhaps someone should explain to don that hes supposed to be unbiased and fair. But hes too dumb, stupid to understand that. Is it possible he thinks the people who follow him are too dumb to understand the word dumb . Anyway, we have dueling dons. Its not every day you see an orange attack a lemon, so that was fun. [cheers and applause] people talk about doubling down. Only donald trump would claim hes the least racist person in the world while calling a black man stupid. Watching this debate with all these democrats, talking about all these, it was like being in a house with a bunch of firefighters, and theres a raging wildfire outside. All the firefighters are on the couch arguing about how to fight it. There was a lot going on. Governor Steve Bullock from montana, i guess they didnt have enough room for him on the stage, so they had to improvise. Governor Steve Bullock, please begin. Thanks, i come from a state where a lot of people vote for donald trump. Lets not kid ourselves. Jimmy well, you know what . Turn out the lights when youre done in there, steve. Bernie sanders had a big night last night and one of the highlight moments. Tim ryan was arguing with him, i dont know who tim ryan is either, but weigas arguing abou the details of a bill and bernie yelled i wrote the damn bill. But the bill he was talking about was the bill of rights. They were hole the d up in a ro with a quill pen and oil lamp. Marianne williamson selfhelped. It was like watching game of thrones without the witch. But Maryann Williamson was the topsearched on google. The top were marianne williamson, Bernie Sanders and porn. Not in that order. She reminds me of what happens to when you stay after yoga classes and ask your teacher if she has any tips and you walk out with too stones and a eucalyptus oil. There are a lot of tweets, people even i know saying he sounds like me. And when i saw that, my First Response is, who is john delaney. I figured that out. He does kind of sound like me. But my wife doesnt and my kids dont, and ill let you decide. Close your eyes and open your ears and decide whether or not this guy sounds like me. So listen, this is what i dont understand. President trump wants to build physical walls and beats up on immigrants. Jimmy he looks like me, but he doesnt sound like, what do you think . I dont think so. Jimmy you dont think he sounds like me . No, no. Jimmy can you imagine if he becomes president . I could prank call every major leader in the world. And i would use that power. That is my promise to you, my fellow americans. [ applause ] while were on the subject of prank calls, sebastian gorka, this is one of the monsters who lives under President Trumps bed. He apparently has a radio show, and if you call that show, its not so hard to get through. Mr. Gorka, i used to live in rosemont, west baltimore. I find it strange nobodys asking a question about their. Whats the question. Do you have to buy special shirts to fit your head through your neck hole . In baltimore, im not sure, but thats a very strange question. Lets go to josh in wyoming. Line two. Hi, how are you . Very well, welcome to america first. Good, thank you, im a little nervous. Dont be, dont be. Nobodys listening, only about 2 million people, so you can relax. Poerks woh, wow, okay, then just say that you are a balloon headed [ bleep ]. Jimmy well, thanks, josh. Well done, josh or whatever your name is. So back to this debate. One of the things the candidates feel like they have to do is sell us on their humble beginnings. You see this on every election. They try to one up each other on their back stories. I stand before you today as a grand daughter of an iron ore high nor. As a daughter of a newspaper man. I grew up with a single mom in a poor neighborhood. My parents met when they were active in the civil rights movement. My sister is dating my father. And, yeah. Yeah. Jimmy she could probably pull a few votes from trump. This is a subject id like to see these candidates weigh in on. Holiday inn announced yesterday that theyre doing a way with mini shampoos. This upsets me. Those shampoos are really one of the Simple Pleasures of life. You get one, you decide how much to use. Theres not a lot of shampoo, but its free. You can either use a little bit of it, just in case the maid doesnt use a new one, or you can gamble and pour it all on your head. Theyre getting rid of it and doing it for the environment, which is also what they say when they dont want to wash your towels. Its for the environment. This seems like an unusually forwardthinking movement for a company that still brags about the fact that they have a fax machine in the business center. Donald Trumps Campaign has sold almost half a Million Dollars worth of Plastic Straws. This is the real thing you can buy. Liberal paper straws dont work. Stand with President Trump and buy your pack of recyclable straws today. And Plastic Straws are only the beginning. The trump store is going allin with this. Global warming, Climate Change. Extreme weather, the reason this is never sort of working. Want to support our president and devastate the environment . Shop till you drop at the trump store [ bleep ] the ocean saleabration. We have a garbage patch of products. Plastic straws, coffee stirrer, batteries, toxic sludge and paint. The only turtle we care aame sa trump, its good to dump. The trump store, [ bleep ] the ocean saleabration. Lets make this shark week the last shark week. [cheers and applause] jimmy this is an interesting video, you know, because a lot of people watching the debates tonight want to hear about taxes. They want to know how much of their paychecks theyre going to get to keep. This is a kid named donnie who got an early lesson not from the debate but monopoly. Wheres all your money gone, donnie . Taxes. Nine, ten, 11. Bud, its okay. Its part of the game. No its not. Its not fun. Its not fun to what . Its the worst part of the game. Is what . Taxes jimmy hes right. Hes right. The kid named donnie. Who doesnt want to pay taxes. He could be president some day. One thing about me is i believe that children are our future. I know its controversial, but its just what i think. Whom ever we elect will have a great impact on future generations, and even though kids cant vote yet, they should be heard. So we went down to the Farmers Market and asked children who they think should be the next president. Who do you think should be the next president . Michelle obama. How come . Well, she was a better president than donald trump. Bruno mars. Why would he be good . Because he would take care of people and make good music for people. Who do you think should be the next president . Alf. Who should be the next president . Oprah. How come . Shes very inspirational. Someone nice. Maybe justin bieber. W h b president . Uh, hed be better than the one we have right now. I know someone named dara. She was a camp counselor, and she kind of helps the environment a lot. And i think shed be a great president. Michael jordan. Why would he be good . Because i like the basketball skills. His shoes . Yeah. Who do you think should be the next president . My mommy. Taylor swift, maybe. Not donald trump. Who would be better than him . At least someone with a good hair job. Like you. You have great hair. Yeah. Who do you think should be the next president . Odell beckham jr. Why would he be good . I dont know. Is he smart . Not really. Ye ecse aapper. Ould yeah. Jimmy its funny now. All right, we have a great show for you tonight. We have music tonight from bj, the chicago kid. Steve martorano is here. And well be right back with Julia Louisdreyfus. So stick around. [cheers and applause] Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live. Brought to you by command. They hold strong with a peel, stick, and press. And with that college life begins. I said, college life begins. Oh dear, lets take that down damage free. Stretch release and look no marks no mess, much more you. Command. Do. No harm. Target school list the easiest way to shop your kids school list in a click. Just enter their school, find their class and pick up their entire list instore or have it delivered to your door. Target School List Assist for every school list. We hide hotel names so you can score 4star hotels at 2star prices. Hotwire hotwire. Com like 4 lines for 100 a month i swand 4 free phones. Bile and got more. Now the whole family can stay connected. Not this connected. Switch and get 4 free lg stylo™ 5 phones, 4 lines for 100 a month with unlimited gigs, all on our super reliable, super fast nationwide network. No i, i cant feel the heat yet dont let it catch you i cant feel the heat ok who. Iall of us. Old navy . His stripes, her dots, my spots, its all old navy honey. Really . We cool . Yea. Were cool. Styles at two, four, six and eight bucks all kids and baby on sale up to sixty percent off. Now at old navy. What just happened . Look its a hmm. Whale. I dont know. Thats it. Suit up haha watch the fur whatet the 2019 corolla hatchback. Lets go places. Jimmy hello and welcome back to the show. Tonight, a gentleman who knows his way around a pot of boiling water. He has a new italian steakhouse coming to pittsburgh. Steve martorano is here. Steve will be making my alltime rite mi and i forgot. Jimmy exactly. Li linguini and clams. Then, his new album is called 1123. Bj the chicago kid from the mercedesbenz stage. Tomorrow night, Milo Ventimiglia will be here. Alison brie will join us. And well have music from the head and the heart. So please join us for that. Our first guest tonight has more emmies than humans have fingers and toes, in some cases many more. She is nominated once again for her performance as selina meyer on the great show veep. The seventh and final season is on hbo now. Please welcome Julia Louisdreyfus. [cheers and [cheers and applause] thank you. Jimmy how are you . Im good, how are you . Jimmy im doing great. And youre feeling well . Everything is good . Yeah, why, do i look sick . Jimmy well, you know, youd had some things. Ive had some things, im good. Jimmy Elaine Bennis got a shout out. I dont think the Democratic Party should be surprised that so Many Americans believe yada yada yada. Clause cha [cheers and applause] that is so bizarre. I guess shes going to pick me as her running mate. Is that what that means . Jimmy if anything shed be your running mate. Isnt that exciting . Its bizarre. Its kind of like worlds colliding and then some, right . Jimmy and it becomes such a part of the fabric of society. Culture, yeah. Jimmy that youre now like a catch phrase in a debate. Yeah, totally. Jimmy i imagine its like the lady from the wheres the beef commercial would feel like. It would be weird if they said no soup for you. [cheers and applause] jimmy so do you feel like you have any kind of like, extraordinary insight into the election and what goes on in the white house because of the show that you just did for seven seasons . Um, yeah, i think, ive learned a lot about politics. Jimmy yeah. And ive got a sense of the, of the true anxiety that probably a lot of these people feel going in and trying to sell themselves as a candidate, as a brand and make a stamp and a quick, a stamp, sort of a, as themselves but quickly and jimmy yeah, right. Just to boil yourself down. Woo. Jimmy and also to, the things you dont do are probably more important, as we saw. I think i learned what its like to be a candidate from your show, and then i go, wait a minute i dont know if its really like their at all. It is. As a matter of fact as i was watching the debate tonight it gave me a lot of anxiety. I had to kind of turn away, you know . Jimmy when you would watch a debate like that, like a couple years ago would you be thinking oh, how can i use this for the show . Totally, 100 . Jimmy and does that change the way you watched it tonight . You can just relax and. Yeah, yeah, i guess. I dont know. Ive seen it now a few times, know what i mean . Jimmy wouldnt it be great if cnn had just slipped one of selenas debate clip noose ths programming. It would have fit in. Jimmy it really would have fit in. What kind of time period, like i dont know what i can say about the last episode of veep even though it was monthsing that it aired. I think we can talk about it. Jimmy can we now know what happened . Why not . I think, unless somebody tells me im wrong, go for it. Jimmy theres the ending of the show. Yes. Jimmy which salina again becomes president of the united states. Everybody applauds, but its not for real, number one, and number two, shes a terrible person. What the hell is wrong with this country jimmy well, we did it once, why not again . Exactly. Jimmy okay, so, and then at the very end of the show. Yes. Jimmy its 20. They jump ahead 20, 25 years later. Jimmy and salina has died. The coverage of her funeral. Jimmy and kind of in the middle of the coverage of the funeral, tom hanks dies and steals her thunder completely. Thats exactly right. And that, incidentally, i love that joke so much because we spent a lot of time about his iconic career. And, and, within the context of the show. Of course it is an iconic career that hes had. But it was a call back to the pilot episode of veep in which we reference tom hanks and what if something that salina did gets bumped out of the news cycle if something bad happens, like if tom hanks died. And it was matt walsh playing the character saying why would you Say Something like that . Tom hanks is not going to die. And of course we use that joke at the end of the episode, which is really great. Jimmy what i was wondering is if tom knew he was going to die on the show. Get a load of this. Were in the final mix for the show. Weve locked pictures. So this is, were were to turn it in to hbo, and then its done, done. You cant touch it. And were listening to the playback. And one of our producers says, hey, who talked to tom about this . And we all sort of looked at each other. And and we had all forgotten to be in touch with tom hanks. I mean, wed gotten permission to use clips of his movies and stuff, but, and all of a sudden i was furiously writing emails, an email to him, email to his agent, texting him, trying to reach him, because we under the gun, i mean, literally, we had no time. And fortunately, while we were in the sound mix, within about 20 minutes, i heard back from him. And the first thing he said was absolutely, i explained to him the joke, and he got it completely. And his second thing was he was complaining that he wasnt cast as the abortion doctor in an earlier episode. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy so it was a lose lose for tom. Exactly. But he was a good sport about it. Jimmy thats a good sport when youre calling to somebody to really, to tell them that theyve passed away. Yeah. Jimmy and they handle it well. Yeah. Jimmy thats why hes americas most beloved, i guess. Exactly. Jimmy when we come back, we will see a clip that may remind you of what happened on television tonight. Julia louisdreyfus is here. Well be right back. [cheers and applause] parents have a way of imagining the worst. Especially when your easily distracted teenager has the car. At subaru, were taking on distracted driving [ping] with sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. The allnew subaru forester. The safest forester ever. And take 25 off our best active brands get to kohls. Plus everyone gets kohls cash save on womens nike separates. Sa oas ba. And converse for the family plus free amazon returns now at all kohls stores this weekend. At kohls. But allstate helps you. With drivewise. Feedback that helps you drive safer. And that can lower your cost now that you know the truth. Are you in good hands . That leave therea lasting impression. Like the feeling of movement as a new journey begins, or the sight of soft fur, warmed by the morning sun. You might remember new flavours, or a view that defies all expectations. These are the memories that stay with you, long after the moments have passed. Tell you