Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240715

Card image cap

It turned out to be a rare weekend of good news for the president of the United States. The Mueller Report has been delivered after all the accusations of it being a witch hunt, Robert Mueller and his 13 angry democrats did not come to a conclusion of collusion, according to trumps newly appointed attorney general. No one has actually seen the Mueller Report. Even trumps team hasnt seen it all yet. But going from the summary the attorney general released this weekend, there will be no new charges, and now the process of tearing our country even further apart can finally begin. The president , of course, was very excited. He took his celebration to twitter. He wrote no collusion, no obstruction. Complete and total exoneration. Keep america great. Thats right. Learn to spell exoneration and total exoneration, except from this from Robert Mueller who wrote while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him. I bet trump didnt even make to it the end of that sentence. While this report does not conclude the president committed a crime. Okay, im done. Im good. All i know is i havent been this confused about an ending since the Series Finale of lost. Its kind of funny, though. Half of america is upset that our president didnt collude with russia. It seems like we should probably be happy about that, shouldnt we . And deep down didnt we know trump probably didnt collude with russia because he could probably never pull that off. And even if he did collude, it probably would have been by accident. Put tin wanted him in there. Trump got in the white house the same way Lori Loughlin got her kid into usc. With that said, make no mistake. This was a bigley victory for the president , and there was much celebration in the trump camp last night. I hear Kellyanne Conway drank the blood of an entire goat last night. Thats right. The only way trump could be happier with his Mueller Report is if a porn star rolled it up and spanked him with it. This was an illegal takedown that failed. And hopefully somebodys going to be looking at the other side. So its complete exoneration. No collusion, no obstruction. Thank you very much. And now if youll excuse me, im off to visit my Campaign Manager in prison. So far as a result of this investigation, 37 people and entities have been charged with a total of 199 criminal counts and five people have been sentenced to prison. But for the president , who cares. He was off to the golf course to play golf with his favorite kid, that being kid rock. Who posted this incredible photo to twitter. Sorry, betsy ross. Those are the kind of pants you wear to get shot out of a cannon. This photo to me looks like a billboard for a sitcom about a used car salesman that has to move into his dads nursing home after a messy divorce. You know the country is nuts when the president spends the weekend hanging out with kid rock. Its not even close to being the lead story, but the president is verying very maganimous today. After all the things he said about Robert Mueller, today he said he thinks mueller acted honorably. He also said it wouldnt bother him at all if the attorney general releases the full Mueller Report. I think he said that about his taxes too. So well see. This is a weird one. You know, campbell news was really scrambling this week. Theyve been waiting two years for this report. And so it was probably no coincidence the attorney general dropped the story friday night after everyone went home from work. But this was the tweet from cnn. The caption says on the evening Robert Mueller submitted his report to the justice department, President Trump was on the tiled patio of maralago, bathed in golden light with his wife and son baron, who had reached teenagerhood two days earlier. Who is writing their tweets . Judy blum . Since they went above 140 characters. So Sarah Huckleberry sanders bathed in the glow this morning and sat down for a little yell at savannah guthrie. The president has absolutely eviscerated bob mueller. Did bob mueller deserve better from the president than this kind of language and behavior . Frankly, i think the American People deserved better. They didnt deserve for the election of this president to try to be taken down. Wait a minute. The president s rhetoric about a Public Servant doing a job. Are you kidding . The president s rhetoric matches literally the media and democrats have called the president an agent of a foreign government. Wait, wait, wait that is an accusation equal to treason which is punishable by death in this country. What . Off with Chuck Schumers head punishable by death. Calm down, king joffrey. Nothing is punishable by dead. Mike pence spoke at apac this morning where he gave the report. Yesterday was a great day for our country. Our president and every american who cherishes the truth. Look at how look at how bummed he is. He is so disappointed right now. Hes like i could have been president. Now all i have left is this space force. And as if trump didnt have enough to celebrate, Michael Avenatti, the former lawyer of Stormy Daniels was arrested and charged with multiple crimes today, the day he was charged by prosecutors in new york and california with extortion and wire and bank fraud. Hes accused of trying to extort 25 million from nike and embezzling money from a client. He also allegedly used fake tax returns to get millions of dollars in loans from a bank. Here is my hope on this whole thing. I hope he hires Rudy Giuliani to represent him. Wouldnt that be fun . It really is astonishing the day after trump skates on collusion, Michael Avenatti is arrested. I mean all they have to do now is replace the bald evening well a fried chicken, this will be the best week of the president s life. In other news, this is this is such a great video. This is from the local cbs affiliate in colorado springs. And watch this, because this is the kind of thing that if you didnt know it was real, you might think it was a comedy bit. A trash bag full of fake gear ditched on a long stretch of highway in the middle of nowhere. So they get these from a paint ball company. This is more than just a costume. They also found a real gun. An actual gun that was in the cocked position when i found it on the side of the road. The dea has already come to pick up the gear and interview the family. Going to fill in the information on a case that theyre working. Thats his fault. Thats on him. He should not have moved. Anyway, if you know any if you know any blur guys looking for a gig, there is job opening in colorado. One of the most color players in football, Rob Gronkowski of the new England Patriots announced his retirement yesterday. There he is. He wants to spend more time with his family, smashing beer cans on their heads. He released a statement. This is an interesting statement. It said simply, me gronk. Gronk tired. Gronk no more football, gronk. Congratulations to him. I hope i hope he finally gets some time to relax and cut loose, you know . Congratulations also in order for the gonzaga bulldogs who advance to the sweet 16 for the fifth consecutive year, despite the fact that gonzaga is a totally imaginary place. So last week on the show i put forward a theory that gonzaga does not in fact exist. And that is causing a bit of consternation up in washington state, where they say it does. People in spokane are confused, which is understandable. You live in a place you think something is, and then you find out it isnt. You know, it challenges everything. So some local news outlets now are pushing back, including our own local abc affiliate, kxly in spokane. Kimmel tried to use our coverage as further proof gonzaga is not real. Ncaa tournament appearance. Look at that bustling totally real campus. Theyre obviously extras in front of a green screen. Well, kimmel clearly didnt see this video of a much more bustling campus and clearly hasnt talked to gonzaga grads like myself who sat through four years of very real classes on a very real campus. And very notice she said very real. Listen, things are either real or they arent real. Its like being dead or very dead. Either way, youre dead. So we also got some blowback from a show called good day spokane. My favorite, though, honestly of all of that is in one of his videos that he did just last night, hes like yeah, they want me to come to spokane. Next thing you know, im going to end up in a field without any luggage. Jimmy kimmel, everybody. [ laughter ] ive been saying exactly. Im starting to question if these people are even real. I even got a message from the dean of the Gonzaga Law School and the state attorney general and some alleged students. Hey, jimmy, im dean of Gonzaga Law School, and im here with the real bob ferguson, attorney general of the state of washington. Wait a minute, thats a attorney general of the state of washington . With a troll doll on his head . No wonder they legalized marijuana first. Anyway, continue. Jimmy, thank you so much for responding to my tweet. And you asked us a challenge. You asked us to swear on a stack of bibles and put our hand in the air that Gonzaga University is real. Were going to do you one better. Weve got some real Gonzaga University law students who are going to take the oath instead of us. Are you ready . Lets do this. Hands in the air, everybody, weve got a real bible, jimmy. Here we go. I am a real student. I am a real student. With real student debt. With real student debt. That is the saddest first of all, one of them called it gonzaga. The others said gon golf you cant even keep your fake name straight. And that stack of bibles you sworn on, wasnt a stack. We have a real bible, jimmy. Here we go. In fact, not only is it not a stack, its not even a bible. Look at what theyre swearing on. The acrfc. I want to mention, this is what you get when this is real when you type the words does gonzaga into google, the first thing does gonzaga exist. The answer to that question, you dont need google, is no, it does not. And stop telling me bing crosby went there. I dont even know for sure bing crosby exists, okay . Wasnt he a friend of santa claus or something . We got a call over the week. Im trying to stay open minded on this. We got call from the chancellor of the university. He asked to speak on air. And to be fair, i said yeah, okay. We have him with us live via satellite from gonzaga. So lets say hello to chancellor aga. Chancellor aga, hello. Hi, chancellor. Hello there, jimmy, its me, gonzoaga, the chancellor of gonzaga. Wait a minute, your name is gonzo aga . Dr. Gonzoaga. Thats your real birth name . Its as real as the herpes i contracted in our gymnasium jacuz jacuzzi. That sounds unfortunate, doctor. That really sounds terrible. Its fine. Ive got a little contest going. My herpes are fighting my gonorrhea, or as we call it, gonzagarhea. As im sure you heard, i dont believe gonzaga is a real place. I think its a made up place designed to win basketball tournaments. How do you respond to that . Well, if gonzaga isnt a real university, how could i be the chancellor of it . That makes no sense. And you know what else makes no sense . A cat knowing how to play the keyboard, though it does make me chuckle, jim. That really does. That puss is just a hoot. It seems like youre changing the subject, chancellor. There any way you can prove to us gonzaga is in fact real . Isnt me being alive and pretend tock chancellor to what . Pretend to be the chancellor . Im sorry. I mean being at gonzaga, not pretending. Yeah, it sounded like you said pretending. We all make yeah. Yeah. Oh, who am i kidding. Gonzaga isnt real. Its faker than a tofurkey. See . I knew it, i knew it. Nothing here is real, jimmy. The students, the teachers, the whole [ bleep ] place, the [ bleep ], its all fake. Your office is fake . Oh, your office is fake. Where are you right now . Im actually sitting in the basement of a fuddruckers. Oh, my gosh. Well, that is shocking. And you know what else isnt real . No. Eskimos. What . There is no such thing. They made them up to sell pies. You know, i always was suspicious of the eskimos. Well, thank you so much for shedding light on this chancellor whatever your real name. What is your real name . Its jennifer. Oh, all right. Thank you, jennifer. Go zags we dont know who. Thats jennifer. We have a great show tonight. We have music from gunna. Regina hall is here, and well be right back with bill hader. So you dont have to stash antacids here. Tc and take control of heartburn. Here. Or here. Kick your antacid habit with prilosec otc. One pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. Dad dad can you drive me to jessicas house . At northwestern mutual, this is what our version of Financial Planning looks like. Tomorrow is important, but so is making the most of the houseforeyut. Spend your life living. Find an advisor at northwesternmutual. Com. Grab those command picture yhanging strips and lets make it work theyre tool free and they hold strong. Or change your mind damage free. Like a pro. Command. Do. No harm. Nosy neighbor. Witglad bag full of trashl. What happens next . Nothing. Only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. Guaranteed. Even the most perceptive noses wont notice the trash. Be happy, its glad™. Ai unlocks the art of science. When you open a bottle of beer, i dont think many people actually know the level of science thats filled into that bottle. Back in time, it took carlsberg several years to produce a new beer. But using microsoft artificial intelligence, we will be able to detect new flavors in a split second and develop better beers faster. With ai, we redefine whats possible. So cheers jimmy welcome back tonight from black monday on showtime and the movie little, regina hall is here. And then this is his album. Gunna from the mercedesbenz stage. Gunna from the mercedesbenz stage. You can see gunna live on tour, starting sunday in anaheim. Tomorrow, David Harbour will be here. Science Bob Pflugfelder will join us. Well have music from rodrigo y gabriela, and later this week, Matthew Mcconaughey and snoop dogg, colin farrell, justin turner, marsay martin, plus music from Billie Eilish and durand jones and the indications. Our first guest tonight is a multiemmy winning performer who has gifted this nation with some of our most beloved characters of all time. On sunday, the season premiere of his widelycelebrated show barry airs on hbo. Please say hello to bill hader. [ cheering and applause ] ah, man, men in black. Jimmy i know you only brought one suit, but i have a hundred suits upstairs. What are we thinking. Jimmy nobody said youre dressed exactly like bill. Maybe change the tie. Well, i took off my fedora and sunglasses at least. I was about to come out as the Blues Brothers. Jimmy where is my harmonica. Which Blues Brothers would we be . You just picked one, right . Jimmy hey, im excited about barry coming back. I love the show. Honestly, do i love it. [ applause ] are you finished shooting the whole season . No, no. Were in a post production right now. Jimmy post production. Yeah. Jimmy thats like what happens after the show is over. You used to work in post production. Yeah, i used to work in post production. I was the post p. A. I used to bring the editors food and coffee and stuff. And i worked on a show called the surreal life. You remember the surreal life where they plugged a bunch of celebrities and put them in a house. Jimmy yes, indeed. Celebrities in the house. [ laughter ] jimmy on one hand youre a celebrity. On the other hand youre on surreal life. We had corey feldman, and he got married. I was so bummed out, because i like reality shows. And then it was like when i realized reality shows were fake, i was that dumb. I was like 20. Wait, what . They dont like each other . What . Because they had this moment where corey feldman, i was and the editor was watching this. This thing with corey feldman, and he was getting a he was crying. [ laughter ] and he was going like im just im just so worried that everything thats going on with me right now, and i i dont know whats going to happen. And im really worried. And i could hear the producer off camera go that was great, cory. Can you just say this weekend . What . No problem. This weekend. And i was like what . No jimmy what other shows did you work on when you were doing that kind of stuff . I worked on scorpion king. Jimmy oh, the with the rock. And invented life with james franco. James franco, the first time he hosted snl. And we were in the room where we met each other. And he looked at me and hey, man, werent you on you were a p. A. , right . But on that show, there is this funny show. A p. A. S, we dont hang out. And there is this guy named big i was little bill on that show because there was big bill. He is 67. And this other guy named jason altieri. Jason had this giant bowie life like a rambo knife, and he was hitting a tree with it. This is what we would do. This is hollywood, guys. Jimmy youre practicing editing. He is editing, yeah. Editing. Jimmy the oldfashioned way. This is the way they did it on gone with the wind. You got to get your editing thing together, your editing arm down. So he was cutting this thing and we were laughing, and bill comes over. Hey, this is the cigarette. You really should stop messing with the knife and jay went eh, eh. And he said hey, dont do that. And he walked away. And bucky our prop guy came over. And he said hey, ive got that exact same knife, but its retractible. Its fake. So he gets the fake one. He is doing this. And its one of those things where we waited like an hour. Like you couldnt go hey, bill, come over here. You had to be like he has to just walk over. So were waiting for an hour, and jay is like is he over or not . Come on. Finally bill comes over. Finally youre still messing with the knife . Stop messing with the knife. I told you, dont do it . And he stuck him right in the chest. And bill went why [ laughter ] he thought he was murdered. He legit thought he just got murdered. And we were oh, we were laughing so hard. Why call his parents to tell his final words. What did bill say . Wait, wait until you hear what he said. He yelled why. Jimmy oh, thats good. Oh, boy. That is the funniest thing ive ever seen. Jimmy youre in the sequel to it right . The stephen king thing. It 2. Is it called it 2. It too . Do you ply a clown . [ laughter ] im the new sewer clown. Im like the girl sewer clown. Im like come on. Leather jacket on. Hey, pennywise, hey, hey, its me, your brother. Hey, lets go take some kids out, eh . Everyone is boo. No, im fin, richie the kid with the glasses, im him. Jimmy oh, older. Interesting. Are you a big stephen king fan in general . Yeah, i did like stephen king. You know what . His books got i loved them when i was in high school. I still read his books, but theyre super long. Jimmy right. Theyre really long jimmy he just writes and writes and writes. It 2 is a thousand pages. And then you read interviews with him, i was on a lot of cocaine, you know. And you could tell in the movie. Were all here because a guy. Jimmy how can you tell exactly . What are the signs . [ laughter ] talking like this, faster, faster, dialogue, faster. No, but he his books, his books, i dont like descriptions of food. Jimmy really . And its five pages of things to not like. Do you like descriptions of food . Jimmy if im going to eat it, yeah. But the youre reading a book and instead of he ate a cheeseburger. Jimmy never gave it a thought, really. Why . Does he go into too much detail . Yeah, he always says the same thing. He ate the chili cheeseburger, you know, the kind of burger when you eat it, the chili run downs your chin. And then he ate the eggs, you know, the kind of eggs when [ laughter ] jimmy in three. I know. Jimmy you outed him, i outed him as a coke addict. Jimmy whats next . When we come back, the third shocking revelation about stephen king from the mouth of bill hader. Well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by zillow. Find your way home. Free free, free. Free. Uh. Free. Free. Free. Uh. Freefreefree free free. Free freefree freefreefreefree free. Free free free. Free free frfree free free freefreefree. Free. Freefree. Free free free thats right, turbotax free is free. Free, free free free. For the irresistible taste of temptations™ treats. What are you doing . Oh hey, check this out. Temptations ™. All it takes is a shake™. [ werk it by mama haze ] i watch me w woo now baby do you like the way i werk it now . Baby come on and let me show you how werk it now werk it now werk it now baby watch me werk it like werk it now, werk it now, woo werk it now baby watch me werk it like baby, baby, baby baby watch me werk it now the ross spring dress event is herefinally so you can say yes to the biggest selection of the season. Yes seriously, 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices more new dresses means more reasons to say yes. At the ross spring dress event. On now shshow me homecoming. Baby sloth videos on youtube. Amy, do you uh mind giving someone else a turn . Oh. Yeah i made myself a little comfortable here. I got a pizza for amy yes, thats me xfinity lets you search netflix, prime video, and youtube with the sound of your voice. And i dont have my wallet, so. Thats simple. Easy. Awesome. Get xfinity internet and tv for 40 each a month for 12 months when you bundle both, and get 20 hours of cloud dvr service included. Switch today. And you find the same style you knoyou saw there. Ross. Here . Thats yes for less. Yes say yes to those spring trends you love, at 20 to 60 percent off Specialty Store prices, every day. At ross. Yes for less. Top of the morning. What was that . Okay. Im just doing a thing talked about. I was bringing our characters out into the real world. Thats what i was first of all, british is our character. Yeah. And secondly, when the guests hear you talking like that and me talking like this, they think were both doing accents. We look silly. Were not the same. That is bill i hadder in season two of barry which premieres on hbo sunday night at 10 00. Do you have hbo . Hmm . Yeah, yeah, i have hbo. Jimmy will you sit and watch the show as it airs . No. Im like one of when its done, im kind of like, yeah. Jimmy passed it. The only time i see my snl stuff is when im on show likes this. Jimmy thats it . You never go back to see if something worked or whatever . No, im weird. Jimmy i see, but i do the same thing. Maybe like on an anniversary, ill go wow, thats embarrassing. People come up to you and quote things, and youre like hmm . Like what . New yorks Favorite Club is blah, blah, blah. Im like what . Jimmy you are not just a star of barry, you write it. You direct it. You produce it. All of that stuff. [ applause ] at certain point, really, arent you just showing off . Yeah. It does get a bit control freakish at times. Jimmy does it . Yeah. Where actress Sarah Goldberg is on the show. She is great. And she has a she had to play this alien thing, and she got excited where she got to have an alien voice. And she was like oh, i worked out this language and all this stuff. And i was oh, no, im doing it. And she was no, but bill. I figured out a language. And im doing this stuff. Im doing the alien voice. Just give me this. Jimmy so the alien voice coming out of her is actually your voice . Yeah, its me going and she was like all right, thanks, [ bleep ]. Jimmy henry winkler. You and henry both won emmys for your roles on this show. Thank you. Jimmy i know you know that. This is not news to you. No, it is. I just woke up. Jimmy did that change anything . Does it give you more pressure, less pressure . You just feel like the day after the emmys is when we started shooting. And everyone is on this high. And then you get to work, and youre like oh, i dont know anything. Youre like wait, no, this doesnt work. What we were thinking . Jimmy is this season different from the first season . Its darker. Jimmy it is . This season is way darker than last season, in a good way. Jimmy how does henry feel about that . Well, henry is the sweetest guy in the world. So im always trying to make him were always writing him to do these awful kind of things, especially to my character. And hes like bill, this is so awful that i would say this to you. Cant i just cant he just take barry out to a light lunch . Cant he take him on a boat . Go down to the marina, get on a boat. Jimmy do you think he really is genuinely uncomfortable with that stuff . Yeah. I think i told him the first time, you really want me to say that . Yeah. And he went so this man is an [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] i went yes, henry. Youre going to play an [ bleep ]. Jimmy where do you guys shoot the show . We shoot on paramount. And we were shooting this scene on paramount, stage 19. And were doing this scene, and its super emotional, and henry is there, were in the scene together. And im like a little like corey feldman, you know, oh, god. And henry looks around and he goes oh, you know what . This is where we did happy days. Im like what . Yeah, this is the stage where we did happy days. You kidding me . You cant tell me this now. So the whole time im doing the scene, im going was the jukebox over there . Where is it . Come on. You cant drop that on me right before we do this scene. Jimmy thats winkler for you. I know. He is the sweetest man on earth. Jimmy i cant wait to see it. The show, if you havent seen it, go right now start watching the first season so you know where you are by season two. Bill plays an assassin theater aficionado. He wants to be an actor. Jimmy barry is the name, it premiers sunday night at 10 00, bill hader. Well be right back. People wis are excited about the potential of onceweekly ozempic®. In a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than seven and maintained it. Oh under seven . And you may lose weight. In the same oneyear study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. Oh up to 12 pounds . A twoyear study showed that ozempic® does not increase the risk of major cardiovascular events like heart attack, stroke, or death. Oh no increased risk . Oh, oh, oh, ozempic® ozempic® should not be the first medicine for treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Do not share needles or pens. Dont reuse needles. Do not take ozempic® if you have rsonfamily of mry thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. Stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. Serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis. Tell your doctor if you have Diabetic Retinopathy or vision changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase the risk for low blood sugar. Common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. Some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. I discovered the potential with ozempic®. Oh oh oh ozempic® ask your Healthcare Provider if ozempic® is right for you. Hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your car because, well, thats my job. What . What . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. And if youve got cutrate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. So get allstate. And be better protected from mayhem. Like me. Youll make my morning, buty the price ruin my day. Ou . Complicated relationship with milk . Pour on the lactaid, 100 real milk, just without that annoying lactose. Mmm, thats good. Goodreally . [sighs] have you tried merrick yet . We get it you got it [sighs happily] were petsmart excuse me, do you want to play dont talk into this mic and win 10 . [ buzzer ] oh, sorry. Dont talk into this mic and win 10, okay . Okay. Nope. Dont talk into that big microphone and you can win 10. You want to play it . Yeah. [ buzzer ] oh, you lost see . I knew it was trick. Would you like to play dont talk into this mic and win 10 . Do you want to play it . Well start. Well start right now. Tell me your name first . Whats your name first . Were going to play the game. Do you understand this . Were playing a game called dont talk into the mic and win 10. What is your name and where are you from . You win 10 protect your pets from fleas and ticks with frontline plus for dogs and frontline plus for cats. Its two killer ingredients work fast and keep working all month long preventing new flea infestations on your pet. Frontline plus. The number 1 name in flea and tick protection. Grab those command picture yhanging strips and lets make it work theyre tool free and they hold strong. Or change your mind damage free. Like a pro. Command. Do. No harm. Come on. buzzer sounds at some point, a line has to be drawn. Nooooooooo im sorrrrryyyyyy for us, that line is only delivering within five minutes of our stores. So your sandwich arrives freaky fresh®. Its nothing personal. Its because sandwich. So if i bought it for a business i started, im able to deduct it . Yes, thats definitely a deductible expense. That was really helpful. Man, i love technology, but it is infinitely better with people. Sometimes you need that real human touch you know . A little bit of empathy and understanding. Like i was saying, humans and Technology Working together. You talk too much. Turbotax live now with cpas on demand. What would i say to somebody keep being you. . Keep loving. Keep aspiring. Keep striving. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. So keep pushing. Keep creating. And keep pouring your soul into everything you do. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems, and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre hivpositive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. Ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. Upgrade to new tide pods 2. 0. And get 50 more cleaning power in the palm of your hand, for a powerful clean in one step. 1 stain and odor fighter, 1 trusted. Its got to be tide. Its taking over theres no escape you better get moving ready or not its about to go down here it comes now get ready oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh get ready moving ready or not get ready oh oh oh oh oh hey jimmy still to come, we have music from gunna. You know our next guest from the movie girls trip, from black monday on showtime. Her new comedy is called her new comedy is called little. It opens in theaters april 12th. Please welcome, regina hall. Very good to see you. Its so good to be here. Jimmy you smell really good too. Thank you. Thank you. Jimmy you do. Not that bill didnt. He smelled fine. Right. Jimmy the last time i think the first time you were here actually, you told me that you had been giving your dog marijuana, right . Yes, i did. Jimmy is that still happening . Well, he ended on a high note. He is in heaven now. Jimmy oh, so no, then. No. Jimmy yeah. Well, im sorry i asked. Im sorry. No, it hurts, but its okay. He lives a great life. Jimmy what did you do with his marijuana . Did you you know what . Thats a good question, because, you know, the good stuff, you dont want to throw it away. So i was sad. I couldnt sleep. My mother came to visit because it was traumatic for me. So she had arthritis. Jimmy okay. So i gave her a little. And i took a little. Jimmy oh. And how did that go . Did it work . For a while. And then i told my mom, i said look, mommy, youre going back. She was visiting me. I said youre going back. You need to learn to do this yourself. Because if youre going to continue to use it. But, doyou know, i think i said that thats too much. She put it on the cracker because i use the kind its not an edible. Its an oil. Jimmy oh, and you put oil on a cracker. Its like the consistency of honey or tar. Jimmy okay. And you put a little on a cracker or cookie, you know what i mean. This is to help heal. And i knew it was too much. I said mommy, thats too much, and her quote, she said that little dab give me barely does enough. Jimmy now youre sure this isnt dog marijuana that you guys were having . No. You know, ive got some i have some. Jimmy so you gave her more than she should have had. No. She put more on there. I suggested. Jimmy she gave her more. Yes, she gave her more. Jimmy how did that go . Well, first of all, she took it at 9 00. I said its a little early. She said no, im going to bed early. And then we were up late. We were actually watching you. We were watching jimmy kimmel. Jimmy oh, thats how they recommend you watch the show. Yes. Jimmy start around 9 00. Its a really good idea. We actually thoroughly enjoyed the show. And she went to bed. Its a little late, you know. 12 45, i took my shower, went to say good night, and i went in, and she was like she said i said mommy, are you okay . Whats wrong . Mommy, are you having a stroke . And she said [ slurring ] she couldnt move her mouth. So i called the ambulance. Jimmy you called and ambulance . I called an ambulance. Jimmy did you go to the hospital . We went to the hospital. She had on my think like a man too robe. Jimmy low profile. Because we were panicked. Jimmy sure. And i called my friend on the phone. I said listen, i think mommy is having a stroke. And i was distraught. The dog, now mom. Zeus, mom, it was too much. And then, yeah. So. Jimmy did you tell the doctor . Well. Jimmy what was going on . No. My friend was doing a prayer. And then we were downstairs, and she said did you take your stuff . And i said yeah, and she was like i think you bitches are high. [ laughter ] jimmy is that the official diagnosis . Well, i went to mother. I said mommy, dodge thinks were high. And my mother and i started cracking up. It was so funny. And then the doctor came down, because they had done an mri and blood tests. And they said the mri shows nothing. So then i said, you know. My dog had a was trying to shrink it. And i told him. He was not amused. He said why you whispering . And then my girlfriend was still on the phone, and she said yeah, youve bewhispering all night. I didnt know. I thought it was because you were in the hospital. Jimmy and at the end of this, was a Lesson Learned . Well, we learned when her mouth gets like that, she is just high. Shes not having a stroke. Jimmy thats a lesson. No need to worry. Jimmy weve been hearing about celebrities donating money to colleges for various things. Oh, yeah. Jimmy you dont ever have to give money to a college, because almost every college in the United States has your name on it. I know jimmy thats Xavier University in chicago. Look at that. Jimmy that is also another one. And look at this. I love that name. Another one. Jimmy there is a whole bunch of them like this. This is Marywood University in scranton. As far as having things named after you, buildings are pretty good. When i went to high school, there was a high school, one of the buildings was named regina hall. Jimmy really . Yes. Jimmy and did you get a big kick out of that . No . Its weird to say were going in regina hall now. Jimmy it is weird. The plural. Especially disturbing. It was a bit prophetic. But weird at the time. Jimmy weird at the time. Tell me about this movie. This little is kind of a flip of the movie big that tom hanks was in. Yeah. I played the big version of little jordan sanders, which is played by marcy martin, and she is so amazing. Jimmy she is from blackish. And she is a kid, executive producer of this movie. I know. Incredible, right . Jimmy so was she like your boss on the movie . I mean, i guess you could say so. You know . Maybe. Jimmy well, its great to see you. Im glad your mother is okay. Shes fine. You know what . Honestly, it happened one more time while she was there. And it was great. And she said its a bad batch, gina. She said it was a bad batch. Jimmy please videotape her the next time that happens. I will. Jimmy regina hall, everybody, little. And the Season Finale of black monday on showtime. Well be right back with gunna. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to bill hader, regina hall and my apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next, but first, his album is called drip or drown 2 here with the song big shot, gunna. [ cheers and applause ] i connected all the dots connected all the dot pulled that foreign out the lot that foreign out the lot moved the family to the docks boondocks ballin like a big shot ballin like a big shot uh ballin like a big shot oh, oh businessman i pop my collar i pop my collar got good brain must be a scholar good brain must be a scholar spent 2k on balmain joggers spent 2k on joggers yeah im jogging to the bank oh captain of the ship and we wont sink give a honey told the key to chain my brothers keeper a chain on god just like fendi gotta think she gotta think and im drippin like a sink yeah drippin like a sink yeah these vvss make you blink yeah i connected all the dots connected all the dot pulled that foreign out the lot that foreign out the lot moved the family to the docks boondocks put some diamonds in my watch diamonds in my watch ballin like a big shot ballin like a big shot uh ballin like a big shot oh, oh in l. A. Smoking dosido smindosido and i got dolce on my clothes Dolce Gabbana my clothes i still got homies on flat shoals als im just Getting Started i got more goals still got goals lookin for the pesos for the pesos would stay inside but the bank closed but the bank closed every time i turn around i see a bankroll bankroll i used to get handmedowns now aint a thing old no all my day ones gettin a payroll payroll when you show l. A. I dont wanna shop on rodeo rodeo if killing was dripping gunna i had a case closed case closed still independent you cant name a [ bleep ] i owe [ bleep ] i owe i connected all the dots connected all the dot pulled that foreign out the lot that foreign out the lot moved the family to the docks boondocks put some diamonds in my watch diamonds in my watch ballin like a big shot ballin like a big shot uh ballin like a big shot oh, oh this is nightline. Tonight, generation burnout. I hope to never have a traditional job again. The millennials ditching their nine to fives for adventure. Were Just Cruising around new zealand and exploring. Achieving Financial Freedom to pursue passion. How you can live the life of your dreams. Plus influence him. Hes the cover boy. Hi, sisters. Who became the face of covergirl. Makeup sensation james charles. These colors are absolutely insane. Has millions following his every brush. I want to be a role model for everybody, no matter what age, size, where they come from, color. But how does he handle the haters las

© 2024 Vimarsana

comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.