Costumes to be sexy, we wear them to survive. If the temperature holds up, game one tonight between the dodgers and astros will be the hottest World Series Game ever. The first two games are in los angeles. And then it moves to cooler climate, the gobi desert. This is the Dodgers First world series in almost 30 years. Since 1988. It is a tough ticket to come by. The average ticket price for game one was about 1,300. To put that in perspective, right now a ticket to the world series is worth more than the weinstein company. [ applause ] so yesterday, guillermo was sick yesterday. I sent my father, who is a lifelong dodgers fan, in his place to talk to the players at world series media day and that turned out to be a home run. You may be out of a job, guillermo. My father did quite a number on the dodgers. How are you feeling . I feel better. Jimmy so l. A. Is hosting the world series. 11 years from now were hosting the olympics. Today in greece, the olympic torch was lit for the 2018 winter games which will be held in pyongyang, south korea. Not south carolina. Pyongyang, as far as i know, is not south carolina. If there is, write to the network. The games are still more than three months away. Theyre already lighting the torch. The olympic torch is like the oven in my first apartment. You have to pre heat it for a long time to get it to temperature. In case you missed it, it is an ancient ritual. This is video of how it went today. This is the temple where the ceremony took place. It starts with a scene from wonder woman. The priestesses march in. Each one wearing something from the 1972 jcpenney catalogue. And this is a bowl of flame that they present to, well, no, that goes to you. Bowl of flame, madam. So they take a walk together and greet the toga boy to walk around the tree that zeus once urinated on. And then presents the priestess with a marshmallow roefgt stick which pleases her so she agrees to marry toga boy. And they pass these men, they were a gift to the Olympic Committee from sir elton john. So thats very special. Then the guy from the cialis commercial beats on a drum a couple times and finally enter linda the torch lady, you would think they would have propane or lighter fluid or something. She does finally get the torch lit. And the gathering of villains in nonmatching chairs, was pleased. And then skinny pete from breaking bad rushes off with the torch and the olympic magic begins. They really do it up over there. I would like to see that in person. Isnt that something . [ applause ] so in other weird sports news, there is a major scandal rourking the world of the iditarod. It turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs. Dogs belonging to the fourtime musher tested positive for a banned substance. Officials became suspicious when one of the dogs stood on its hind legs and lifted the sled over its head in celebration. These powerful drugs. Opioids. These the same drugs santa uses to make his reindeer fly. Dallas said he believed the drugs were given to his dogs maliciously without his knowledge to tarnish his reputation and it has tarnished the reputation. All over the nation, children are tearing the posters off their walls. It is a branding disaster. He says that though he has done nothing wrong, he fully expects to be banned from future competitions. And he will not take it. I will not spend the rest of my life looking in the mirror knowing that i backed down when i did nothing wrong. The iditarod can try to run me over. They can try to throw me under the bus. But i am going to be honest with myself and theyre going to find out, i dont fit under the bus. Jimmy i dont know. I think you would. Ill have to find out. Heres a doping dogs is if youre that concerned about going fast that you would intentionally feed your dogs performance enhancing drugs, just buy a car. Get a nice fast car. Speaking of crazy, President Trump is at war right now with a couple of republican senators. Senator bob corker, this morning on cnn, senator corker questioned trumps competence, his mental stability. He said trump is debasing the nation and he popped the top off this doozy, too. Is the president of the United States a liar . The president has great difficulty with the truth. Might as well take that as a yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy of course, the president handled this very well. He brushed the insults off. He didnt . No, he didnt. In fact he fired off not one but five angry tweets about bob corker over the course of two furious hours. I would imagine melania and baron were hide flagg corner. He couldnt get elected dog catcher in tennessee is now fighting tax cuts. Corker dropped out of the race in tennessee when i refused to endorse him and now is negative on anything trump. Isnt it sad that light weight senator corker who couldnt get flected tennessee will fight tax cuts plus . He is the incompetent head of the Foreign Relations committee. And look how poorly the u. S. Has done. He doesnt have a clue as the entire world was laughing and taking advantage of us. People like little bob corker have set the u. S. Way back. Now we move forward. The entire world was laughing at us . Did they stop . You know donald trump is mad when he calls someone little with two ds in the middle. And then after the tweet storm, trump had to have lunch with Senate Republicans which included bob corker, at which we dont know a lot of the details because it is a private meeting but we know the president , this is what the president had for lunch today. A bowl of rice and two slices of cherry pie. He doesnt just act like a child. He eats like a child. So after lunch after lunch another republican who has had enough, senator jeff flake of arizona, announced that he will not run for reelection because he refuses to compromise his values by supporting this president. So we are really making America Great again. Things are going very well. By the way, Donald TrumpsMerchandise Team is trying to make halloween great again. For real. They have a new hat. This is a hat which as you can see features a photo realistic presentation of the president s face. Thats on the front. And i says make America Great again. The hat goes for 45. It is already sold out. Like the trump administration, it is only available for a limited time. The main difference between this hat and a real jackolantern, a jackolantern usually has something bright on the inside. So as i mentioned earlier thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it is very hot today. There are people Walking Around our neighborhood without shirts on today which is gross. But we thought it would be a good area for tonights pedestrian queflt on the street, we asked people passing by our studio, are you wearing a shirt . Okay. So the way this works is, we will see an individual introduce himself in closeup. And then based on that introduction well try to guess who is wearing a shirt. Lets begin. John, nashville, tennessee. Are you wearing a shirt . Is john from nashville wearing a shirt . Yes. Jimmy lets look. Yes. Jimmy of course he is. Look at him. That was in the hotel room. Here we go. Next is this. Saun mccarthy from maui. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy what about him . Is he wearing a shirt . Everyone says no. Today i am, yes. Caught out a bad day, huh . Jimmy that one threw us for a loop. Tyler archer from colorado springs, colorado. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy is tyler wearing a shirt . Everyone says no. I am not wearing a shirt. Jimmy but if he was, it would be an ed hardy shirt. We have more. My name is ken from london. Are you wearing a shirt . What about him . Jimmy i think the nos are wishful thinking, ladies. I am wearing a shirt. A vest shirt. Jimmy whichever way you guessed, you got half credit for that. Next up. From canada. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy is capri from canada wearing a shirt . All right. I am not wearing a shirt. Jimmy no. But i am wearing a very cool backpack. To people visiting from canada this week, it is like 200 degrees. All right. Who is our next person . Im from washington. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy is fred wearing a shirt . Were evenly split on fred. Well, yes, i am. Jimmy he really had to think about it for a second. All right. Next . Im from rome, italy. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy everyone says no. Yeah, im shirtless. Your nipple. Do you like it . Jimmy i dont like it though. All right. When in rome. We have one more. Im dj from new jersey. Are you wearing a shirt . Jimmy is dj . Lets find out if hes wearing a shirt. Im not wearing a shirt. What about shoes . Im not wearing shoes, either. Jimmy he spent his shoes and shirt money on that hover board. Thanks, everyone for playing are you wearing a shirt. When we come back, my dad meets the dodgers at world series media day, so stick around. They can fly. Travel at the speed of light. And command the currents. They dont need another way to get around. Or do they . [ engine revving ] gointoilet paper run, need anything . Hair spray bark snickers bitesized. Im on it. Get new, lower prices on thousands of items. Target run done. Your date with destiny has arrived. Lets do this new cinnamon frosted flakes are finally here. Sweet cinnamon and the frosted crunch you love. Well . Tastes like victory t. Tastes like victory. Theyre great that one. This. Discover card. I justis this for real . Match, yep. We match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. Whoo i got my money hard to contain yourself, isnt it . Uh huh let it go whoo get a dollarfordollar match at the end of your first year. Only from discover. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena when i walked through a snowthats when i knewtte, i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. That one. This. That one. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight on the show, music from chris young, from the miami marlins, Giancarlo Stanton is here. Yesterday at dodger sailed the they had media day. Reporters all over the world come to chat with the players. Usually guillermo does this for us but he got sick. He accidentally swallowed a rat in brooklyn. He thought it was a meatball. So i decided to send my dad who loves the dodgers. He he followed them to los angeles. He loves to talk. Listening, not so much. Talking, love. I hope you enjoy this as much as i do. You wont but here is my dad. Jim kimmel talking the ears off the dodgers on world series media day. Im really excited to be here at dodger stadium. My first dodger game, i was 10 years old. I went with my good friend. We both rode on the subway. Can you believe it . My mother gave me 15 cents for a hotdog and a drink. All we wanted to do was see duke snyder and jackie robinson. But it was a magical day. Lets go talk on some ball players. Im Jimmy Kimmels dad. Im a brooklyn dodger fan since i was a kid. I come from brooklyn. I rode the subway by myself. All my heroes. Im from brooklyn. When i was a kid, 10 years old, i went to the dodger game techblt years old. We saw duke snyder. All of them. All of them. When i was 10 years old, i attended the first dodger game. I met duke snyder, the whole game. My first dodger game. I was 10 years old i went with my best friend. My mother gave me a dial for a hotdog and a drink. I got 15 cents for a hotdog and a drink. I have these little ice cream things. 75 cents. You got bleacher seats. It was 15 cents. I sat in the the bleachers. I used to play little league. I had, it took me seven years on my lgs and my knees. My sister dated sandy koufax . We were thrilled when you joined the dodgers. Were very huge dodger fans. My sister used to date sandy koufax. He could have been my soninlaw and i would have been able to go to all the game for free. Did i ever tell you . First time i met you. I dont know. I was ten years old. My mother allowed me and my best friend to go on the sub way. Ten years old. Imagine that today . No. We had 15 cents to buy a hotdog and a drink. Do you know what used to happen . They wouldnt let the players interview. On the managers. People actually know about you and the first thing they asked me, is your back going to be okay for the world series . It will be all right. They want to know about that in ireland . They did. I swear. I was at a ping pong event. Aid bad back. What is the name of it . Kershaws challenge. He was a terrible player. He was a very good this is a true story myself sister janice was like 16 years old and she was dating sandy koufax. Until he came to pick her up. And then she married a guy. He was actually signed by the dodgers. Class c baseball and he got tuberculosis. He was in the hospital for a year. Did you have to do that stupid thing on the floor . Walk like this . What are you talking about . Put the band between your legs and you have to walk across the floor with that. Huhuh. When i had my knee surgery, i had to do that. A guy that couldnt dance. I dont know how many surgeries youve had but i had seven on my foot and my knee. Ive had zero. And then on my finger. Imagine a person that cant play a sport. Can you bowl . No. I was a big bowler. When i was younger, i have new york state bowling champ. I see where jimmy gets it, by the way. He can talk pretty good. Ive got to go. Where are you going . I was supposed to go see George Clooney at the show tonight but i think ill miss it. There you have it. I think i did great. Go dodgers. Now im going to get some cracker jacks. Jimmy never have a video capture a man more perfectly than that. And youre fired, by the way. We have a great show tonight. We have music from chris young, jean carlos stanton. And well be right back with ted danson. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by liquid plumr. Theres a plumr in all of us. Stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. She paired that with some succulents. And suddenly something clicked. That surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama. Or is that an alpaca . Super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. She arranged it all into the greatest guest bathroom ever. Did sophia expect to get so much bang for so few bucks . No. But great things happen when you choose surprise. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. [ joe cocke s with a little help from my friends ] but great things happen when you choose surprise. Vw drivers have always put others first. Now were returning the favor, with the people first warranty. Americas best bumpertobumper limited warranty. Jimmy everyone at our show knows everything about my fathers knee surgeries. To the point i think i could do a knee surgery if i needed to. I know that much about it. What if Home Security was different . What if it looked different . What if the measure of working, was that you never had to think about it. What if it was so easy to use, you actually used it. [alarm] you have 3 minutes to exit. What if it gave you time, and what you really need from Home Security. A sense of security. Jimmy tonight, hes a fourtime major league allstar, from the miami marlins, Giancarlo Stanton is here. Then his latest album is called, losing sleep chris young from the Mercedes Benz outdoor stage. Tomorrow night, kenneth branagh, Haley Bennett and comedian neel nanda and thursday, susan sarandon, jeffrey dean morgan, and music from odesza our first guest is an emmy and golden globewinning actor whose name everybody knows. You can see him alongside kristen bell in the afterlife on the good place thursday nights on nbc. Please welcome ted danson. Jimmy im glad to see you. I want to say, this has been cleared up now but ive been watching curb your enthusiasm. Youre very, very funny on the show. When i got worried because your wife mary steenberger, you playy yourselves. And in real life you play yourselves. But on the show youre separated and getting divorced and it made me worry that i missed some story and you were actually getting divorced. But youre not getting divorced. Not getting divorced. Jimmy okay. Thats very good news. It was strange. Jimmy am i the only one upset by this . It was googled a lot. We had dinner we had gone out to dinner with the night before. Come on, really . Jimmy is everything okay. Yes, it is. It is okay. Jimmy did mary know this was the plot line . No, no, that was my bad. I forgot to tell her. Jimmy so you knew. They said that would be the season. Its out so i can say. I was going to date cheryl. Jimmy larrys exwife. I didnt see what was so funny about that but i said okay, fine. I forgot to tell mary. You dont read scripts. Jimmy its improvised. They say youre divorced and go. So mary was going, wait, what . Im what . Jimmy so everything is good. Theres nothing to worry about. Except larry is a bit of a well, im trying to remember what kind of word i can say here. Jimmy you can say any words. Hes kind of meanspirited. Hes always had it in for my wife. Jimmy he sees that you have a good thing and he wants to ruin it. He hates happy people. Jimmy ill glad theres harmony in your house. You have a big birthday coming up soon. Remind me. Which one is it . Jimmy the 70th birthday. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy will there be a big party . I thought about that. We thought about that. And it is december 29th. So it is a lousy, lousy birthday. Youre exhausted from christmas. Jimmy and everybody is on vacation. So should you try to have a party . In my past . Jimmy i mean did i and most of people said, love you, ted, love you, but sorry, were out of town. So they bailed. Jimmy they love to you a point. Are you at all, are you having any kind of feelings of dread about turning 70 . Does it bother you . No, no, it truly doesnt. Jimmy really . It doesnt. Jimmy i figured i would throw some dread into you. The good thing is you get a little forgetful. If there is dread, by the next morning its gone. Jimmy what kind of stuff do you forget . Names. Jimmy have you always been good with names . Jimmy jimmy. Jimmy yes, jimmy. We put it on all the shirts so people can see it. Were you good with names . Never. Jimmy so can you chock this up to age . Good point. Good point. This literally was not a joke. On Ellen Degeneres show. Jimmy yes. When i turned 69 she asked the same question and i literally said, well, helen. And it was not a joke but, well, that answers the qu