Defaming me on their Instagram Post as a bigot, which is the first thing these people always do. So, you know , unfortunately do. So, you know, unfortunately we are. We are beginning legal proceedings. Now. Proceedings. Now. Junior doctors in scotland have voted to accept a pay offer from the Scottish Government that means theyll receive a pay rise of 12. 4 and its going to be backdated to april. Scotlands Health SecretaryMichael Matheson says hes very pleased with the result and also pleased with the result and also pleased with the result. The prince and princess of wales have congratulated the england Women Football squad, who are through to their first ever world cup final. The lionesses beating australia 3 1 in sydney with platoons scoring englands first goal in the 36th minute. Australia equalised through sam kerr in the second half, but lauren hemp and Alessia Russo put england 3 1 up. England now face spain in sunday mornings final and the labour leader, sir keir starmer, has called for a bank holiday if they win. This bank holiday if they win. This is gb news across the uk on your tv, in your car, on Digital Radio and on your Smart Speaker by saying play gb news this is britains news. By saying play gb news this is britains news. Channel hello and welcome to headliners. The show where comedians tackle serious news stories while trying not to get in serious trouble. Im dixon, the peoples im nick dixon, the peoples host. Host. As known , and im here. As im known, and im here. Thats such a big laugh. I almost cant do my job. Too im funny. And im here with one of the cheapest double acts in the business. Schaefer. Business. Its Louis Schaefer. Thats not him. And paul cox. Thats not him. And paul cox. Thats not him. And paul cox. Thats Louis Schaefer. All right. Perfect how are you both doing . Thanks. Nick. Great, thanks. Nick. Great, thanks. Nick. Peoples presenter. The peoples presenter. The peoples presenter. I came up with that. Yeah. How you feel about that . How do you feel about that . How you feel about it . Its completely untrue. Theres less touch. Completely untrue. Know. � es less touch. Completely untrue. Know. You less touch. Completely untrue. Know. You come less touch. Completely untrue. Know. You come from touch. I know. You come from the people. You come from up there in cumbria. Wherever you come from, the from, and you should be the people. The most people. But youre the most arrogant, well, arrogant, out of touch. Well, thats not. Thats true. Thats not true. Thats not true. Not true. That is not true. That is not true. Is totally true. It is totally true. Hes like, hes call him the like, oh, hes i call him the mayor. And yeah, no, no, mayor. Genius and yeah, no, no, louis thinks something that louis thinks Something Like that because projection because its sort of projection , is the therapy term , i believe is the therapy term because paul, im because, you know, paul, im just guy. Just a normal guy. Ive always made me feel very welcome. There you go. You see . So whos more or louis whos more mad, me or Louis Schaefer . Id happily do that. Paul be honest paul on twitter, to be honest with you. Right. Okay. Do the all right. Okay. Well, do the thing twitter. All right. Okay. Well, do the thirall twitter. All right. Okay. Well, do the thirall right. Ter. Do that. All right. Well do that. All right. Well do that. First, maybe we should but first, maybe we should have a quick look at the paper since called headliners. Since it is called headliners. Have look at so lets have a look at thursdays pages. So lets have a look at thlso ays pages. So lets have a look at thlso the pages. So lets have a look at thlso the daily pages. So lets have a look at thlso the daily page goes with so the daily mail goes with jim the British Museum. Jim heist at the British Museum. There it the telegraph. There it is, the telegraph. There it is, the telegraph. Stolen from priceless jewels stolen from british sunak British Museum. The time sunak ease the squeeze. Massive optimism from soon out there. The guardian stands by lock despite by pension triple lock despite surging costs, the mirror has the history girls not sure. The history girls not sure. Oh, the football, presumably. And the star dreaming of 66. Another football one and those. We are front pages. Those. We are front pages. So paul were going to start with the daily mail. Yeah, were going to go straight with the headline on the daily mail, which is jim heist the British Museum. Heist at the British Museum. Can say about now, what can i say about thisnot a lot, really. Not a lot, really. Not a lot, really. I mean, it doesnt say who, it doesnt say when it doesnt say just us that say how. It just tells us that it happened. Not to worry it happened. And not to worry because all over like because theyre all over it like a however, i mean, it a flannel. However, i mean, it is a serious story. They seem to have sacked someone on the basis that things, gems, jewellery have gone missing from a store cupboard, things that werent necessarily on display but have been stored and were either found to be damaged or missing. Found to be damaged or missing. Well, say is well, they dont say is obviously who because its an ongoing investigation. But you ongoing investigation. But you normally things like this normally say things like this was in so and sos bedroom was found in so and sos bedroom or, you know, the suspects, the suspects garage or whatever. But it doesnt that far. It doesnt go that far. Theyre being a bit well, theyre being a bit careful, sort careful, but they seem to sort of an of an individual. We believe may be responsible. And, know, some people and, you know, some people would would say, you would say lefties would say, you stole all that stuff. Anyway, avoided that. Stole all that stuff. Butway, avoided that. Stole all that stuff. But yeah, avoided that. Stole all that stuff. But yeah, avo should at. Stole all that stuff. But yeah, avoshould avoid but yeah, we should avoid that we that stuff that because we earn that stuff going fixing world. Going around fixing the world. Right. All right. All right. And the other thing, though, that lewis, its that struck me, lewis, is its just story. Just quite a funny story. Kind of like its not its kind of like its not funny, but kind of funny, really, but its kind of like of movie you would like the kind of movie you would be in, know what i be an extra in, you know what i mean . Night at museum. Mean . A night at the museum. Everythings stolen. I did movie. Everythings stolen. Idid movie. Just. Yeah, i did a movie. Ijust. I did a movie there just the other a movie. Other day. Quite a big movie. I forget of it. And its absolutely. Well, its almost like the story. I did a movie. There was i dont remember the name, but its is. Its ridiculous its it is. Its a ridiculous story. The fact is that story. The fact is, is that because you let people people are horrible everywhere, not just in this country. People here in this country are horrible, but theyre all across the cant the world. You cant trust people with to gb news. People with stuff to gb news. I love the way lewis is on gb news says people news and just says people in this country. Are horrible, doesnt care i you know, hum you know, im saying i represent the people of great britain. Its like me. You go to my house and cant believe my house and you cant believe how the mugs have how many of the mugs i have stolen. Ive done a million of the reams of paper. I believe that everybody steals stuff. A museum. Theres youre in a museum. Theres nothing except for some nothing to steal except for some stuff. Lewis havent been stuff. Lewis havent you been escorted jobs by the escorted away from jobs by the police the actually police in the past . Actually that is. You think im crazy . But do you think im crazy . But ive got evidence. Do you remember that . Why do you remember that . Why do you remember that . Well, i remember the things you me. You tell me. 5 you tell me. A little file i put them in a little file to use against you later. Actually, new well, actually, twice in new york police is actually york that the police is actually were cold. I mean, kind of people we i mean, the kind of people we have to work basically, have to work with. So basically, yeah, bit of a you know yeah, its a bit of a you know what, little bit what, lewis . Its a little bit of knock on story, to use your of a knock on story, to use your catchphrase, because we dont know about know much about it. Anybody could call it non anybody could call it a non story. Story. A story. Its a non story. Its a its okay, well, its a nonsense. Okay, well, lets its a nonsense. Okay, well, leti mean, could be i mean, it could be important, but its not. Its i mean, it could be impthatit, but its not. Its i mean, it could be impthat much. Its not. Its not that much. Say someones nicked you can say someones nicked some yeah. Some stuff maybe. Yeah. Youve got something. Oh, youve got something. Oh, youve got something. No. No, no, no. Say anything more i cant say anything more than we probably should give it a of gravitas by a little bit of gravitas by saying is the British Museum saying it is the British Museum thats true. Expensive that it is expensive stuff that was half. Was three and a half. True. And its a disgrace. And i, for one, am appalled. And i, for one, am appalled. Yeah, against forms yeah, were against all forms of stealing. True. Against thats true. Its against the ten commandments. Lets have a look at the. What . The daily mail next. Then. Then. Are we talking about that now . What we have . No, were still sticking. Were going to stay with the daily mail. Were to going however, were to going say with the biggest ball, with the biggest story day. Now, i biggest story of the day. Now, i dont if im alone on this. Dont know if im alone on this. I might be, but i think i might be, but im overexcited. Excited the overexcited. Im excited by the lionesses winning beating lionesses winning today, beating the own the aussies in their own backyard through backyard and progressing through to the womens cup final. To the womens world cup final. I beckham in i know David Beckham got in trouble for calling them girls. That not sure that is outrageous. Im not sure what supposed to call them. What hes supposed to call them. Perhaps its football ears who are to birth. I dont are able to give birth. I dont know true answer know what the true true answer to whoever to that is. Whoever it is fantastic. Mean, i watch a lot fantastic. I mean, i watch a lot of sport. I love sport, i love football. I like mens and womens football. Standard football. The standard of womens football this has womens football this year has been good, been very, very good, comparatively been very, very good, comparethats great because and thats great because youre say youre legally required to say that london, that now in sadiq khan, london, i i want to say i i mean, i just want to say i love the womens football. I mean, i just want to say i lowltse womens football. I mean, i just want to say i low its amazings football. I mean, i just want to say i lowlts amazing they tball. I mean, i just want to say i lowlts amazing they should be its amazing they should be paid at least as much as the men, more. Men, probably more. And theyre brave and amazing. Lewis thats my position anyway. Whats your position . My position exactly position anyway. Whats your pos same my position exactly position anyway. Whats your pos same my posiword. Exactly position anyway. Whats your pos same my posiword. Iaxactly position anyway. Whats your pos same my posiword. I mean, the same as your word. I mean, you you said, have you said, like you said, we have to the fact is, its Girls Football in america. In america, the over 15 team beat the the boys over 15 team beat the women Mens National team in america. So this is what. So it america. So this is what. So it is. Ill take the heat. I know nick doesnt want to get involved in this, but ill take the heat. Its. Its nice. Its these girls. I mean, ill tell you something. I looked them you something. I looked at them and looking. And theyre very good looking. Theyre very probably gone. Lets just had a little then lets just had a little bit of bounce genuinely right. F right. The problem with this this is the problem with this politics has got involved and comparisons get made. If you compare womens football with womens this an womens football, this is an extremely standard. Extremely good standard. The whole womens football with womens whole womens football with woryeah , if you compare, its yeah, if you compare, its a good standard. Thats a terrible you cant use only. Use that, but you can only. But you can only do but what you can only do is, is judge it by its own merit. I mean, what doesnt help is whats the name in the states. Now the rapinoe. The rapinoe. Everyone hates the penalty. Recently, shes created this whole thinks what whole storm. She thinks what shes a legacy whole storm. She thinks what she herself a legacy whole storm. She thinks what sheherself and a legacy whole storm. She thinks what sheherself and help a legacy whole storm. She thinks what sheherself and help propel y for herself and help propel womens football into the future. All shes done is created huge problems that theyll theyll now spend the next 18 months, two years fixing and going on again. I really hope england go on to beat spain come on. England. Yeah but you know paul . Yeah but you know what paul . It politicised, but it has been politicised, but thats our fault. Thats not really our fault. Its just, you know, in sadiq khan campaign where men khan mate campaign where men were told they were just inherently evil, one thing that came was the evil came up in it was the evil misogynist guy was saying, oh, im not sure about some of the womens football. And the others womens football. And the others went, actually pretty went, its actually pretty decent, sure decent, mate. So im not sure youre even allowed legally to not like football in not like womens football in this we saw ed this country. And we saw ed davey this incredibly davey post this incredibly cnnge cringe photo. Hes been getting hammered where hammered for on twitter where hes its hes like enjoying a pint. Its like a normal man like im just a normal man enjoying pint and watching enjoying my pint and watching the football. The womens football. And keir starmer has one, it starmer has done one, isnt it a weird thing, that one, weird political thing, that one, thats gap stuff we thats all the pay gap stuff we have to talk about and we all just have to like the womens football opinion on football and have an opinion on it. That like why its it. And isnt that like why its been political . It. And isnt that like why its beei political . It. And isnt that like why its beei so. Litical . I think so. I think so. Mean, dont know if louis i mean, i dont know if louis wants to come in here. It doesnt look like he does. I would you know, would say would you know, all i would say is a shame that on is that its a shame that on today when we when the englands womens has it through womens team has made it through to final, were to the world cup final, were actually talking those actually talking about those points. Would points. I dont think we would have talked about that had this whole transformation womens whole transformation of womens football in in 2003 football taking place in in 2003 or 1994. Its mental now. So everythings got to be identity politics. Culture war. Yeah, youre right. All right. What about the telegraph, lewis . The telegraph if come back to school, thats keegan beggs. Absent pupils on results day. Absent pupils on results day. And this gillian keegan. Shes the education secretary. Shes bemoaning. I dont know if thats the right word. Shes bemoaning the fact that people that students arent going to school. And last year, 28 of the took least the students took at least a month off and shes saying, you know, please , please come back know, please, please come back to school. And she said, this is a funny thing. She said, i would a funny thing. She said, i would actually she says, i wouldnt actually she says, i wouldnt actually describe it as true. Actually describe it as true. And see, i think whats happened is with attendance is that a lot of young people have lost their confidence. The fact is they confidence. The fact is they lost their confidence in the educational system in this country its been 100 country because its been 100 iv country because its been 100 ly thing in america , 100 ly same thing in america, 100 lies for the last three years. And they say, why do we have to go to state schools, which i mean schools that are owned by the state that are just going to lie yeah, it is. And lie to us . Yeah, and it is. And we no future. We have no future. It is the legacy thats and it is the legacy thats good. Nice, uplifting message for views. Its yeah, for the 5 am. Views. Its yeah, its legacy of again, its legacy of covid. Again, it was shutting the was absurd shutting down the schools. Here that schools. Shes saying here that people and people should dig deep and come back classroom. Mad back to the classroom. How mad is to dig deep just is it they have to dig deep just to to school. But i dont to go to school. But i dont blame them because they they got out the with this out of the habit with this ridiculous closure. You very rarely also, you know, i very rarely get near offended. Its get anywhere near offended. Its impossible, really. But comments like almost me like that almost offends me because these are the arbiters of this problem. They created of this problem. They created the and now theyre the problem and now theyre saying to these youngsters who they through the mill and they put through the mill and back else has been back like nobody else has been put before. And ive got put through before. And ive got no experience of this no personal experience of this with my daughter. She missed this when she was in this happened when she was in year went into year year six and she went into year seven. And thats those seven. And thats for those who dont bridge dont know, is the bridge between primary and secondary education uk. And you education in the uk. And you know, she did struggle. Shes now you know, shes now now back on you know, shes now back keel and back on an even keel and everythings but everythings great for her. But theres a lot of kids that were forced back into homes that were not for them to