Of flooding and disruption. Ian however, once the rain subsides, temperatures are expected to soan temperatures are expected to soar, making some parts of the uk hotter than california. This uk hotter than california. This is gb news. More on your radio, tv and smart speaker. But now it isfime tv and smart speaker. But now it is time for headliners as. Hello and welcome to headliners. Im josh howie and joining me to drill into mondays newspapers a comedic roughnecks. Louis schaefer and paul cox. What is going on with you, louis . Both of you. You got the you got the merch. Just the merchandise central. Just the merchandise central. Weve been sent this by fans i what, 5mm what, you. What, you. Are you serious . Yeah. This are you serious . Yeah. This was sent by someone called popper or big popper or something. We dont even know the guys name. No, you are really sticking it to me because ive just got my gb news mug here. No fans . No. I mean , i love the mug. You no. I mean, i love the mug. You can it for 4. 99, but. But can buy it for 4. 99, but. But im not getting sent any love mail like this. Well, you could send it to Louis Schaefer. Maybe they love Louis Schaefer. Maybe they love Louis Schaefer. Maybe they love Louis Schaefer. Just saying Louis Schaefer. Im just saying that for gifts. Louis schaefer. Im just saying that everybody for gifts. Louis schaefer. Im just saying that Everybody Lovesr gifts. Louis schaefer. Im just saying thatEverybody Loves louis. Im Everybody LovesLouis Schaefer. Oh, well, schaefer. Oh, well, okay. Is slightly depressing this is slightly depressing me at start. Me at the start. All right, first of all, lets have a quick peek at our mondays front pages are looking. We the daily mail we have the daily mail patients trying escape patients trying to escape labours welsh nhs. The times shots fired and migrant clash or vessel sank. Guardian lower income pupils expected to be hit hardest by grade deflation. The express brexit boost bringing business back to britain. The sun kane could play for germany. And finally, the daily star. Were made for it. And those were your front pages as. Were made for it. And those were your front pages as. First were your front pages as. First up, lets take a look at the times, louis and breaking news about yesterdays tragedy. About yesterdays tragedy. Well, it is a tragedy and its the times shots fired in my clash before the vessel sank. And this has to do with the vessel that there was the migrant boat that six, six migrants died and there was an altercation that went on in france. But before this happened. And but before this happened. And i dont know whether theyre saying i dont think theyre saying i dont think theyre saying its directly related to it, but just shows the it, but it just shows the situation in that its like chaos thats involved. Its criminals. Its but its criminals. Its people guns and whatnot. People with guns and whatnot. And may have led to some and it may well have led to some kind of panic or people launching these boats in condition that were which led to this tragedy , terrible weather this tragedy, terrible weather and whatnot. And yeah, i mean, it just shows how i mean , these it just shows how i mean, these criminals are based in france. I criminals are based in france. I know that there are connections to other but, you know, you know, and whatnot. Know, and whatnot. But you know what were doing 7 but you know what were doing . Were i dont know to . Were were i dont know to how make this funny. Were blaming fact blaming criminals. The fact is, is that is that, of course, its going to be criminals involved. But fact is that its like but the fact is that its like its waving to you its like im waving to you across street or youre across the street or youre waving a child and waving across to a child and say, come across the street. Its busy street. But you say its a busy street. But you say come across it. Come across and people come across and they get hit whos to blame . Hit by a car. Whos to blame . The person in whos shes what . Yeah. Im going to stop your analogy, paul. Analogy, paul. I told this to paul before and he said it was totally reasonable. Oh, really . You did, paul . Well done. You tried to get him fired yourself more work. Fired to get yourself more work. Louis by. By by a chauffeur louis is by. By by a chauffeur and standard. Think the and standard. I think the analogy degree. Analogy works to some degree. So what saying if weve what louis is saying is if weve got on this side saying, got people on this side saying, come over as a safe place to come on over as a safe place to come on over as a safe place to come they come and theyre come and they come and theyre injured we have to injured on the way, we have to take responsibility. Take some responsibility. I think, youre saying. Think, is what youre saying. Yeah, bring yeah, he he was about to bring in other there was kids in some other there was kids involved and we werent sure. But i think, but but the analogy, i think, does stand up a little bit of does to stand up a little bit of scrutiny. At a total loss scrutiny. Im at a total loss with this now, theres two stories the shots stories here. One is the shots fired, which seems to be kurds and afghans fighting dunkirk. And afghans fighting in dunkirk. Ironically thing ironically and the other thing is terrible story about yet is this terrible story about yet more migrants dying in in the ocean on the way to Great Britain and im not sure what to do now because i dont know why they want to come. It seems to be it seems to be the sort of hotspot of europe to come to. The final destination is Great Britain. We probably ought to start dropping guardian start dropping the guardian over enemy they read how enemy lines so they can read how bad country is. I dont bad this country is. I dont know if thats particularly true. They do go, but there are certain who to certain people who want to come to maybe have to england. Maybe they have certainly afghans. If english is their they their second language, if they have relatives over here or any connections. So other countries are taking more migrants. Its not that, but there are some people who want to come to the uk and not just because were seen as this all encompassing welcome free for all. You know, they they have other reasons. There are legitimate reasons. Well, i do want to Say Something before to is theres before we get to it is theres interestingly, it was it was uk people turning up to save the boats first. And even though it was closer to france, they turned up. But there seems to be this unwillingness to blame france because theyre afraid of this 500 million that weve invested in stopping this kind of backfiring. And youre absolutely right. And to add some balance to this story, that 500 or 485 million that we spent has reduced the amount of people that have come across, which is a story we dont cover too often. However it would appear, and certainly within the times they say that there seems to have been a bit of peak during august. Theyre suggesting have been a bit of peak during august. Aleyre suggesting have been a bit of peak during august. A lotre suggesting have been a bit of peak during august. A lot ofsuggesting have been a bit of peak during august. A lot of the |esting have been a bit of peak during august. A lot of the french because a lot of the french officers holiday. Officers have gone on holiday. Im not strictly i dont believe that true. However, it is that to be true. However, it is it is it is kind of welcoming to hear there has some hear that there has been some sort reduction. At the sort of reduction. But at the end day, people are still end of the day, people are still dying on dying like on a on a ridiculously basis. And ridiculously regular basis. And whilst i was flippant about why dont we tell them bad it dont we tell them how bad it is, know, like they do in is, you know, like they do in the , at the of the the guardian, at the end of the day, to have do day, were going to have to do something it. Well, something to stop it. Well, theyre trying, right . Well, look, on look, lets move to on something. Little something. Hopefully a little less and depressing if weve less sad and depressing if weve got. Well, this is this there being all expressing pool. Yeah, they are being expressing. But they are being expressing. But but you know, we talked about a very depressing story then this is essentially a good news story or is at least to the express brexit boost bringing business back to britain. So firms are benefiting from brexit by bringing business back to britain. A quarter of uk manufacturers say they have repatriated the production of goods and this has been enabled by brexit, essentially enabled by brexit, essentially enabled by brexit, essentially enabled by brexit, or forced their hand via brexit. Yeah the express would tell you that its been enabled by brexit. I think is a bit much more a much more of a nuanced answer than that. As you suggest. However it has to be suggest. However it has to be good, whatever , lets say, good, whatever, lets say, whatever reason, it has to be good, be good. It has to be good. I good, be good. It has to be good. I mean, it better be good. Please, lets pray in the express. It has to be good. No, but i think it has to be good in the sense that things being manufactured here has to be good for is living here, for us. Whoever is living here, whoever is working whoever whoever is working here, whoever is occupying these wonderful shores , well, its good, shores, well, its good, arguably, for increasing jobs, increasing our our base in terms of our manufacturing base, there are questions about is it good for the customer who will arguably be paying more than they would if was being they would if it was being imported or. Well, we imported from china or. Well, we have some interesting have some real interesting conflictions going because if conflictions going on because if you it from a climate you look at it from a Climate Change perspective, its fantastic. Need to be fantastic. If you need to be self sufficient, you dont want to its always to be flying. Its always interesting the well, this interesting when the well, this is it. Climate is is it. The Climate Change is always when it suits always brought in when it suits supporting whatever issues. But this it. We can play any one this is it. We can play any one of these games. Yeah sorry. Go and play game, mate. And play your game, mate. Game. I dont ill play my game. I dont think that. Dont think this think that. I dont think this story and maybe paul will add more detail to it, but i think they just they people want they just they the people want to bring it back. They havent brought its not that a quarter have the stuff back. Have brought the stuff back. Right. Would right. And so they would like to bnng right. And so they would like to bring mean, its pie bring it back. I mean, its pie in sky. I mean, and in the sky. I mean, and businesses are always moving businesses are always moving businesses and theyre businesses around and theyre trying this is a report done trying and this is a report done by esther mcvey, whos a lovely lady. I think she works here at gb news. Shes a tory mp. So theyre trying to find the bright side. I dont know if she actually came out with a report. I think shes commenting on it. One thing it does make it. But one thing it does make before we move in an interesting point about whether we point is about whether we actually technical actually have the Technical Skills accommodate skills to be able to accommodate these jobs, to have the necessary workers who can actually do this and you actually do this stuff. And you know, develops that, then know, if it develops that, then im course. Im all for it. Of course. Absolutely. But whether were there whats there yet or not, louis, whats there yet or not, louis, whats the guardian with the guardians . Go with going with lower income expected to be income pupils expected to be hardest grade deflation. An hardest by grade deflation. An and that has to do with the Covid Business where they where they couldnt they couldnt get they couldnt they couldnt get the grade as attested by outside sources. So the teachers graded their own kids and they graded everybodys got an a star. What a coincidence. So particularly bright year and because they love it and of course im going to guess lets just say its true even though you anything the you cant believe anything the guardian any of these guardian writes or any of these newspapers guardian writes or any of these nev but pers guardian writes or any of these nev but theyre all bunch of but theyre all a bunch of liars. Basically it it liars. But but basically it it probably will hurt the poorest people because the poorest the teachers are the poorest kids. They probably have sympathy. Theyre not like your teachers who are brutal to you. Probably at that posh private school that you to. Right. Theyd hit you went to. Right. Theyd hit you went to. Right. Theyd hit you in head. And this you in the head. And this reminds latin , right . You in the head. And this renyeah. Latin , right . You in the head. And this renand|. Latin , right . You in the head. And this renand its latin , right . You in the head. And this renand its likein , right . You in the head. And this renand its like were|ht . You in the head. And this renand its like were not going and its like were not going to you a high just to give you a high grade just because this covid thing. Anyway, its a funny story because anyway, its a funny story bec guardian saying this, and it the guardian saying this, and it reminds a story in in reminds me of a story in in america about. America about. So, paul, what do you think genuinely , no, honestly, we genuinely, no, honestly, we should hear anecdote from louis. We should we should hear this. Laugh. It made this. It made me laugh. It made me youve already said me laugh. Youve already said the story told me. Okay, what did ours story. Did we meet for ours story. Its the joke. Is the story. Its the joke. Is the war. Nuclear war and the nuclear war. Nuclear war and how the different newspapers in america reported in a newspaper in reports the new york in america reports the New York Times reports end of the world and poor people in mind. And poor people in mind. Charities excuse me, women and minorities affected most and then they show Washington Post , then they show Washington Post, the end of the world congressional sessions to be delayed. And the way it says in delayed. And the way it says in the Los Angeles Times , oh, my the Los Angeles Times, oh, my god, this is not as interesting. Oh, my god , this is the last oh, my god, this is the last time i indulge you. Paul. Im blaming you for that because you said it was a great. No, i have to finish. They want to hear the end of it. You tweet Lewis Schaffer to find the end of rubbish joke. Now, paul lewis, i believe, joke. Got, paul lewis, i believe, joke. Got itaul lewis, i believe, joke. Got it wrongwis, i believe, joke. Got it wrong because lieve, has got it wrong because actually, arguably in fee actually, arguably in the fee paying actually, arguably in the fee paying teachers are paying schools, the teachers are going little more going to be a little bit more forgiving markings , forgiving with their markings, shall than they might be shall we say, than they might be at your local. Well, because because yours, your are going your parents are going to complain maybe take complain and maybe take take the kid you think . But kid out. What do you think . But in my school in peckham high school in kids school, they, school, in my kids school, they, you it wasnt a fee you know, it was it wasnt a fee paying you know, it was it wasnt a fee paying school, but the teachers feared for their lives. Yeah. When you come if you when you when you come if you guessing. Paul, finally guessing. Right, paul, finally something the star something lighter in the star please. Were made for it. Please. Yes. Were made for it. Now, this is a story about how the french apparently own their weather and theyre going to send it our way. And we are going have slightly warmer going to have a slightly warmer period. Would say about period. What i would say about climate yes, please, period. What i would say about clirhave yes, please, period. What i would say about clirhave been yes, please, period. What i would say about clirhave been promised please, period. What i would say about clirhave been promised climate we have been promised Climate Change for years and were not getting and really getting it. And im really disappointed. Want it to be disappointed. I want it to be nice and warm. Want to be able disappointed. I want it to be ni ive got to be honest, i kind of lost my track there. I was just trying to i was just trying to what the punchline to to imagine what the punchline to that before was. That joke from before was. Right. That joke from before was. Rig was the loss angeles time was the loss angeles time with opinions. Was the loss angeles time witistick opinions. Was the loss angeles time witistick throughi. Was the loss angeles time witistick through though, for stick through though, for migrants. Nhs, weve migrants. Weve got nhs, weve got and thats just lewis got ageism and thats just lewis see youre listening to gb news radio. Radio. Welcome back to headliners. Im josh howie. Its 45 minutes to midnight. Weve got 15 Great Stories to excellent comedians. Lets go. So starting with lets go. So starting with mondays guardian and whats this about foreigners coming over here and clogging up our services . Louis well, you could call those people foreigners, except youre talking about my children or who are half scottish anyway. Steve barclay open to. Hes open to. Hes the head of the Health Secretary to scottish and welsh nhs patients requesting care in england. English aid englands Health Secretary says devolved administrations have worse backlogs than the british, which which they roundly dismissed the scottish and the welsh says no, were doing great. What are you doing . Offering us charity. And its basically because theres a backlog, because of the covid, because of the fact its the nhs , because people want free treatment, whi