[cheering and applause] get enough, fair enough. All right, i will stay. But only for one drink. It is friday so you know what that means. Lets welcome tonight to cast. His razors are the opposite of his act, not terrible. Comedian and founder of western Razor Company, david angelo. She says bless your heart before she rips you apart, cohost of the bottom line. He made his bones killed bad guys with drones, the national Security Analyst and Fox News Contributor [cheering and applause] she went from having scabies to making babies. The bestselling author, cat [cheering and applause] greg thats my favourite rhyme. Scabies and babies. Thats accurate. Greg awesome. Before we get to new stories, lets do this. Announcer gregs leftovers greg time for leftovers where read the jokes we did not use this weekend is always it is my first time reading them so if they suck we will just blame the blame the writers. Donald trump is doing a rally in butler, pennsylvania, last month the same town where he was shot. Not to be outdone by and will also return to the scene where he almost died. [laughter] Greg Joy and wanda fear that Donald Trump will put comedians in jail. Good news ladies, youre both safe. [laughter] greg a woman who ate nothing but sardines for three months says she lost 35 pounds and it cured her chronic medical complaints. Plus she has a new boyfriend. I loved his music. Disgraced former governor is reportedly considering a run for new York City mayor. He is already campaigning for the Youth Vote since he killed all of the old people. Slight exaggeration. Only some. Joe biden referred to j. D. Vance as a secretary during an event yesterday. Even more absurd you refute referred to his wife as a doctor. Mark zuckerberg unveiled a new holographic Smart Glasses this week, look at them. They will allow users to translate words spoken in foreign countries so you can hear what a [bleep] dork in 24 languages. [laughter] this week, former Nascar Driver Danica patrick endorsed trump and then said she wanted to help make america great again. And i say what a better way for her to do that then to stop encouraging women to drive. Sexist, i know. Im glad you caught that sexism. Singer Lana Del Rey married an alligator tour guide, which may help if one day she ever opens for madonna. [laughter] sorry earlier today, israels Prime Minister addressed the u. N. General assembly. To make sure that the prohamas Protesters Wouldnt show up late, he offered to page them first. [applause] Vice President harris finally paid a visit to our southern border and while she spoke to reporters, your husband interviewed potential nannies. This week, Prince Harry screamed with terror as he navigated a Haunted House with jimmy fallon. Harry said the scariest part was being confronted by the ghost of his missing testicles. The most sexually active australian woman says shes meeting her goal of sleeping with 600 men this year. I wonder if she counts those who banged her in the outback. Thats a large part of the country. P. Diddy and Crypto Fraudsters sam bankmanfried are Bunk Mates in jail. Did he said he is thrilled to have been paired up with someone with such a nice rack. Californias plastic Bag Ban is now in effect. Prompting Nancy Pelosi to go into hiding. [cheering and applause] terrible. Announcing a two Day Route from chicago to florida. It is the only trip where a Oneway Ticket is more expensive than the roundtrip. See, because no one wants to go back to chicago. So thats why the one way is more expensive. Roundtrip. Thank you, sir [laughter] i knew that would take a while. And finally, the worlds largest cheesecake was served at a Cream Cheese Festival in new york. It isnt the largest largest anymore, said one man. Cheap but it always works. Two days have come and gone since Kamala Harris first big Girl Interview and the media is beginning to notice what we have known for a while. That the more you hear from her, the more you understand why the left does not want you to hear from her. Check out her Greatest Hits from wednesday night. But we are going to have to raise corporate taxes and were going to have to raise we will have to make sure that the biggest corporations and billionaires pay their fair share. That is looking holistically at the connection between that and housing. And looking holistically at the incentives we in the federal government could create to actually engage in planning and holistic manner. Just want to ask you yes or no. At any point in your life have you served to all beef patties, special sauce, pickles, seed working at mcdonalds, yes or no . I have. Greg sure you have, kamala. And brian just opened a 24hour health club. [laughter] i love how she never says where this mcdonalds was. You want lies with that shake . At least working with biden has taught her what a number 2 is. And its not a cheeseburger combo. But the interview was such a disaster that even the New York TimesCouldnt Spin it. They tore her interview apart like gnawing through a platter of pulled pork sandwiches. Heres the quote. Ms. Harris respond to the fairly basic and predictable questions with Roundabout Responses that did not provide a substantive answer. Or this. A hardhitting harris interview is yet to come. Wow. Where this. Its not quite clear what she gained beyond getting her campaign the ability to say she held a oneonone cabletelevision interview. Now that may sound mild to you but for the times, that is them losing their collective [bleep]. Even they knew that when she talked, she made a ball of Yarn Sound like socrates. , a Lot Kamala is so bad this days its causing some of the u. N. To drink. [laughter] greg that was the transitional leader of haiti. I want to see it again. I would say someone get that many plastic straw, too bad they are banned. So while they push harris on us like a Reverse Mortgage at a timeshare, they also tried to hide who she actually is. It is a catch22. We are witnessing an Election Version of hiding Kids Presence until christmas morning. Except the gifts are a pile of rapid manure and the parents are the Democratic Party and the media. It is the total opposite with Donald Trump. Sure he says a lot of stuff but within that he offers did specifics and i will take that over this game of hide and seek. Go ahead, ask him if he will settle the war in ukraine and the chaos in the Middle East. I will settle the war in ukraine and i will end the chaos in the Middle East and i will prevent something that nobody else will be able to do. I will prevent World War iii. Do you think biden lies awake at night thinking how are we going to get europe to pay . No, he goes to sleep. Heres a guy who can sleep On The Beach. Had you sleep On The Beach when you have cameras on . I will never sleep On The Beach in front of live television, i promise [cheering and applause] greg has anyone ever promised that before . Has anyone ever had to . Not only does the emperor have no close, he has no empire. All he has is a Beach Umbrella and memories of Corn Pop and cannibalism. So you have a candidate in harris who says nothing and needs even less and you have from Pool Say whatever he wants but tells you exactly what he thinks, take it or leave it. For many, that depends demands transparency. It is the biggest hypocrisy of all. They pick the candidate who will not reveal her plans, perhaps because they know how bad they could be. Right, joe . Vice president , there wasnt a single thing that i did that she couldnt do. So i was able to delegate her responsibility on Foreign Policy, the mystic policy. Greg that is what you call a sick burn. Is the Harris Campaign tries to find daylight between their crummy candidate in the past four years, joe says hold on kids, she was with me every step of the way. From afghanistan to the border. Maybe he is not so demented after all. [cheering and applause] greg david, for those of you at home who dont know, youre quite an accomplished comedian but you also own a Razor Company. How was your Razor Company doing . Im living at the ymca right now. [laughter] the company is doing good. Thats the thing, im not taking as many, and giving it back to the people. Greg really . My margins are very small. Heres what im thinking. Inflation is a big problem in america right now. My product needs to actually cost less. My blades are only ten cents each. Made in america, i dont know why they are not flying off the shelves. [laughter] greg let me ask you this, which president would best benefit the Razor Industry . I mean if you dont count cutting your wrists. [laughter] im happy to meet with both candidates. Greg do you sleep On The Beach . Sometimes. The ymca has a curfew at 11. Greg im going to leave you alone now. Did you find the New York Times assessment of Kamala Harris that is their version of holy crap, they are pulling out their hair. Even in that tone you could tell they are in panic. They were in panic, it could be worse. You need to sell his raisers for them because wrists letting is a onetime customer. You want trump to lower inflation, in people go out and Feel Good where women actually want to shave their legs. And pits. I dont know if i should have done that. They were horrified by her performance. And they were horrified about what she may say if she has to keep doing these interviews because she is this close to letting slept why she really wants the top job. And it is because she just wants to spend other peoples money. She wants to get her hands on Daddy UncleSams Credit Card which has no limit on it. That is really any girls goal, right . And a private jet, the giant Jumbo Jet with the big bedroom on it. Who doesnt want to be able to fly on that, anywhere . Right, greg . Girl power she is the embodiment of everything that the feminist in the Democratic Party loathed back deep down. Greg interesting. Brett, i watched Trump Yesterday talked for like 45, 15 minutes. He went on a lot of tangents but every time he went to anything, weather it was israel or ukraine, even england, he was aware of what was going on and he could drop down into each issue. Are you worried . You are a Foreign Policy dude, that if Kamala Harris gets elected, not only does she not know, it doesnt seem like she has a desire to know. She has zero Foreign Policy and that is a problem. I think kamala will never answer detailed questions about how she will govern or be any different than what we have already seen about the White House and she has pretty much had the position for the last four years already and what has she done that is any different . Nothing. And look at the national Security Structure the guys have been running the agencys, the appointees for our government. It is failure after Failure And Kamala and biden appointed these people to this position. But trump actually seems to have a plan. He understands the issues and has a plan to stop the war in ukraine and i have to be honest, it is really bad out there right now. We are on the precipice of another World War. Israel, taiwan, ukraine, we cannot have terrible leadership sitting up at the top and causing even more wars than before. The fact is trump stop a lot of stuff overseas when he was in office and he will probably do it again. Greg i hope youre right. Cat, i was thinking about what you said last night. What thing . Greg what exactly has she been doing . They say Vice President do a lot in their job but that should mean that she had time to get better. She didnt even write a book. I know greg everyone at fox has written a book. She didnt even have a meeting with someone to talk about writing a book to put her name on. There is nothing, she did nothing. But you see things go pretty well for her when she does nothing. If i would go into hiding and then i am on the cover of time magazine, i might go into hiding, two. When she is not doing interviews and she is not on the air, she has a bunch of people on the air, in print, every medium talking about how great she is without actually taking the chance to put herself out there and the chance she may say something wrong or Mess Something up. I think the New York Times nailed it when they said that there is no other reason to do this except to say she did a oneonone interview. That is why she did it. So people on this channel cannot say she does not do oneonone interviews. It was a noninterview, she didnt do great even those the softest when she could have had. Would you come to work if you actually did way better by not coming . Greg they tried to tell me that. [laughter] but then also there were people on the air all day talking about how great greg is, you would sit at home and watch it. Greg that is true thats a good idea for my retirement. Im thinking about it for my maternity leave. Greg exactly we have to move on, so much more to go. Up next, was he was then his rights to enjoy Turkish Delights . [cheering and applause] announcer if youd like tickets to see heres to getting better with age. Heres to beating these two every thursday. Help Fuel Today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need, and the flavor you love. So, heres to now. Now available Boost Max it wasnt hard with cologuard®, i did it my Way Colohuh . Cologuard cologuard is for people 45 at average risk, not high risk. False positive and negative results may occur. Screen for Colon Cancer in your home, your way. Ask your provider for, cologuard what the biggest companies deliver is exceptional customer experience. What makes it possible is unmatched Connectivity And 5g solutions from tmobile for business. Tmobile connects 100,000 Delta Airlines employees. Powers Tractor Supply stores nationwide with reliable 5g business internet. And helps Red Bull revolutionize coverage of live events. This is how business goes further with tmobile for business. Your yard is your sanctuary. Where you should feel free. I know. I was talking about the dogs. [barking] they need their lawn back fast, and you need scotts turf builder rapid grass. Its a revolutionary mix of Seed And Fertilizer that grows grass 2 times faster than just seed alone. Giving you a stronger lawn. Release the hounds smell that freedom, eh . I smell it im still talking to the dogs. Download the my Lawn App Today for Lawn Care tips and customized plans. Feed your lawn. Feed it. Announcer a story in five words. [cheering and applause] greg thank you. I agree. Mayor Adams Corrupt citizens erupt. This is not an us thing, this is a you thing your policies are antiblack you are a disgrace to our black people in this city what you are saying is unconscionable [shouting] you are a socialist [shouting] greg wow that is what you call a new York City press conference. So cat, new York Citys mayor Eric Adams indicted on charges like fraud, bribery, Campaign Finance Violation although he claims it is politically motivated because he criticized the handling of the southern border. Is that a Witch Hunt . What you make of the violations . People got mad at me but im still going to say it ag