Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240927 : comparemela.com

Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240927

[cheering and applause] [ whistling ] greg: you filthy people. I know what you are thinking. Happy wednesday everyone. Joe biden appeared on the view today where cohost sarah hans said it's like having one of the beatles at the table. True if you're talking about george or john. Thought more like yoko. Kamala harris will visit the southern border friday and says she's looking forward to meeting justin trudeau. At the last debate she said she was a middleclass kid. It appears harris enjoyed things most middleclass kids didn't like living abroad, private school, growing up at some of the wealthiest places on earth. The only thing she didn't enjoy was anani. I like her husband. [cheering and applause] that was a long way for a cheap joke. You're welcome america. New cdc data shows u. S. Obesity rates have fallen for the first time ever. Just like the crime statistics the they left at the cities of new orleans, los angeles and the view. Reports claim i u. S. Woman died inside switzerland's new suicide part. Where can you buy one for a friend, asked one woman. She kills people they say. Not messing around today. Greg: a survey finds residents of wyoming have the most positive outlook on life. Researchers could only find three resident press with a negative attitude about the future. Liz cheney, dick cheney and a snowcovered buffalo. [laughter] finally cnn aired a mcdonald's segment featuring some of their food and brought in brian stelter to discuss it. [laughter] but the food was not so much a prop as it was to keep stelter from trying to eat kaitlan collins. He's a hungry little devil. Correct let's do a monologue. After four years as borders are serving our nation's secondhighest office kamala seems to have remembered we actually have a border. She's seen the light and it's not the one joe sbrocchi towards. She's announced she's going to the border after four years of denying there's a border crisis what's changed, why the 180? do you suppose it's the polls? amazing the other way to get a democrat to do anything is their fear of losing power and suddenly everything they mark becomes everything they embrace. According to a new gallup poll the orange meaning is winning and the reasons why happened to be real issues, things like economic pessimism, inflation fuel prices higher than pelosi's eyebrows. And there's that little border thing, that crazy notion of nation history has been allowed to have a border except the u. S. No wonder new york times poll shows in swing states like arizona and georgia, and even north carolina trump is call mall like a mouthy orphan. Showed up orphan. And in light of how under pulled republicans or the margins are likely wider than a jerry nadler seat belt extender. Suddenly she is for fracking and hasty funding the police and suddenly is heading to the border. If you doubt this is a major change from the past here she is providing a nuanced articulation of her previous border policy. [chanting] that's going to make her claims of being black even harder to believe. She has all the natural rhythm of mitt romney. Ironically now calm last seems to be offered reporting her past. Moments like that are captured forever. It's not easy to be a vacuous laying chameleon in the internet age. But what's most amazing, we still don't know what her plans for the border or for anything else are. Sure she's going down there. What will she do to tighten the border to deport criminal aliens to guard america's kids against migrant creditors? wears her song and dance for that. What does she think just visiting the border like it's a niagara falls gift shop is going to be enough to get her ahead in the polls? so jessica didn't say up that's the border all right. I can see my potential voters from here. Or maybe she will visit that little scrap metal that would have been from swah. She could slap up a few hundred miles of fence. The cheap labor is right there to do it on the other side. But the democrats are allergic to boundaries and barriers. And it's this allergy that allows progenitors to gain the system. Whether gangsters from venezuela claiming asylum male defining themselves as women to enter female prisons are repeat criminals capitalizing on the rhetoric of oppression to escape incarceration. Every system without barriers is prone to predation. Because that's what barriers keep out. Predators. 's what you are seeing at the border is exactly what you see in every place where dems have illuminated barriers to entry. Anyone can game the system. It's our biggest threat the predatory advantage in a barrier free society. We don't have rules of the door. Whether it's a country or bar. The bar will be destroyed and so will the country. Even the freest place on earth requires rules for those who want in. Rules that one abides by or else. That reads out the predators. But the left has deem such limits as oppressive and it's destroying us. No under voters prefer trump when it comes to illegal aliens. They really prefer him. A new poll shows voters actually trust trump to keep not just earthling aliens but interstellar aliens out of the country as well. I admit i will miss the probes. Talk about a guy who owns the issue. They are afraid of him and other galaxies including the home planet of adam schiff. Meanwhile harris can keep doing 180 degrees turns like tim walz when he hears the car backfire. We know if you change policy positions once she will do it again so she can go to the border all she wants. We know the real walsh wants to build is between who she wasn't who she pretends to be now. Let's welcome our next guest. [cheering and applause] and his comedy show that two drink minimum is signing night. Actor writer comedian jamie lasalle. Host of keeping it real with gillian michaels on bill maher's podcast, billy michael. She's got two bestsellers and 11 toes. New york times bestselling author fox news contributor. [cheering and applause] he can feed a family of five. Cannibals. New york times bestselling author comedian. [cheering and applause] jamie i'm actually very excited for kamala to go to the border because am looking forward to hearing her mexican accent. [cheering and applause] greg: this is a little travel hacked. Go to mexico and run into a mexican gang, holding their gun perpendicular it's a party, parallel, get the [bleep] out of there. And i quickly touch on i think it's so funny the aliens they said trump would be better with aliens and they told us there aliens during covid and everyone was like okay. Like never cared. There's so much going on the nobody cared. People were just like my god aliens. Will they bring toilet paper? we need toilet paper. We're so worried about covid. Thank goodness we have somebody. Imagine if maylene came and joe biden was president and the alien was like taking cheerleader and they take you to joe biden and the alien was like i think leader mean something different. That's an excellent impression of an alien by the way. All day working on that. I am so excited to have you here. I'm a big fan. You are the best. Mutual. Thanks for having me. You watching the selection, seeing what kamala harris is doing. 20 thing is happening? i was paying attention to the interstellar aliens thing because i did not want the probe. I will say a little prude, i will also say maybe she missed the exit. Showing up front for years late you missed the exit and shop an hour late. I think she will pick up europe right after the same told. I'm thinking it's alarming. And all transparency i am a former lefty. I try to route myself firmly in the centre. But i feel as though that cliche that the left left me, and some of these unbelievably extreme position salami and i can't wrap my head around how i got there. That's the story for a lot of people is that they're finding themselves themselves without a home. Very much so. Whether rfk, there are just going it's not like we don't want to be democrats. The democrats don't want to be us. That's it in a nutshell. And when you start listening to people like yourself and all transparency, it makes sense. There are things i don't agree with on the right. Things i don't agree with on the left. But the extremes are deeply alarming and the fact we are making issues like health partisan or politicizing health and making that an outright issue for me is despicable. Greg: that's crazy. [applause] especially since stalin was a that [bleep] i agree with every thing she said. Never happens on the show so i'm excited. Thank you for being here. Doesn't bother you so is happens before an election, suddenly they care about these issues? of course. And again she's running as if she's the opposition. And i will talk later about joe biden on the view but he straight up was saying, yeah, i gave her all kinds of stuff. She was a whole part of all of this. So think about i always go back to this the dreamers. Remember that one trump said he would remove protection for the dreamers everyone is up in arms. How many years ago was that? nothing has been done to try to actually solve that issue. Everybody talks about when it's convenient and then my something else convenient to talk about they start talking about that. Politicians now are so obsessed with getting the best little sound bites on tv or owning each other on twitter which is pathetic when any of us do it. But it's more pathetic when they do it because you actually other ones that you have the power to do something about this stuff but they don't so obviously now she wants to go there and say, hey, you know they'll say, trump killed the border bill and it's all his fault. And then trump will be like your fault your fault. And nobody gets anywhere. We'll be in the same position. Where are the dreamers. Where did they go. There's matt lang low. More like what dreamers. 's. What does that mean? 's neck doesn't anything. I just wanted to say it. I just wanted to say it because a into my head. And i have a show so i can say it. 's. Is a mistake for her to go to the border? it's a mistake for you tl enough to me got felt. Having said that, that's enough. Just tone the blackness down for a second. What this is, anybody who's ever been on the wrong side of the parenting or relation subside when you are the person who either cheated or you're the reason for the divorce for the separation and you really want to show the family that you've changed, like i'm going to be there at that birthday party and she showed up at the border and she had the confetti and we are going to have a party and they are like, hey, his birthday was yesterday. So it comes back to the same thing. It's a little too late. You can't get it back. No one is full for this. The sound bite of her stepping up to see the border and go we've been there, so unless it's an apology tour which she's not going to do this is again just a little bit too late. All right. Up next he was a covid czar paul who took partying too far. , can? great question. Like everything, it takes a little planning. Or, put the money towards a downpayment. . . . . . On a ranch. . . In montana. . . 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Jay farmer fired from his current role as vp of pharmaceutical from after he revealed on hidden camera he attended drug fuelled parties during the height of the covid19 pandemic, when he was a senior health advisor to mayor de blasio and told new yorkers they had to stay home and keep the city shut down. Meanwhile he's banging like a crazed wolverine. What's going on with all the parties. By the way i actually knew did he we invested a water company together. I was never invited to one of the parties. That's a real crime. Like is it me? spee of truthfully so much of what went on and now that i know i can swear during covid was [bleep]. The harder they clamp down the more full of it they were. Gavin newsom at the french laundry. We told everyone to stay away from the family during thanksgiving. Greg: i think as the stories come out we will look back and just get angrier and angrier. The next time there's a pandemic we are not doing [bleep]. It's going to be all all the time. This guide boasted. Imagine him saying all right guys pandemic is over. Everyone at my house for an. Guys? anyone? i'm serious. There will be cake. Greg: that's just hurtful. There will be cake. Cannot get the invite? i'm not going to go. Greg: it will be in evite where you can see who is attending. As always the first sas. A guy boasted about having the power over people whilheas doing this. Yeah, that's got to make you steam out of your ears. Yeah i truly, i don't i don't yeah. First of all, if you go to sex parties, you're not supposed to talk about it at all. I know, even if you're not a person who's telling other people that they have to be alone in the hospital. Yes. So, yeah, i think every bit of humiliation that he's getting is not anything worth the damage that he's done to society. Yes. And to even. Kat brings up the point about being in the hospital. Think about all the people greg: think about other people that could not see their dying loved ones. I lived if you guys didn't notice. But people that alone. Didn't pass the bar but i didn't take it either. It is motive. You knew covid only affected the elderly, obese in people with preexisting conditions. If you weren't those things you can go to parties and restaurants so they knew exactly what it was and they chose to this to people anyway. How is this different than finding out about a serial killer? we know what the motive was. They knew what they were dealing with and they chose to tell the american people otherwise. For what. Profit, power able to resolve for things. His admission should be having special council form somewhere or something because we had people's lives and forever tagged people for sewer fired because you will get a vaccine shot. You can have this career anymore. You can't have the even though i wasn't part of the group that was in most danger from covid so i could have held grandma on her last words. If i would have got covid i would have been okay but you took that from us. You still that from the american people. Whether it is or playing parcheesi we don't care. The point is you ruined americans' lives and our country. We are not the same from it. Our whole group of kids are still lost. Go to a restaurant and get service these days. That's a small thing but across the board. At the motive for what was the greatest crime committed against american people by our government and they are smiling and throwing out first pitches. They should be next to diddy. [cheering and applause] greg: weather parties at your house and were you invited? it was a party for them and for me a surprise party. Is it being surprised at a party? isn't that sexual harassment? being surprised proves you weren't invited. I would never have a party. I don't like cleaning up after regular party. I had a bad experience and they told me i was never allowed back. It started 6:00 p. M. And they told me i came too early. And i go it's only six. It was 5 minutes to six. I thought that was fine. I got invited to a party wants. I misunderstood. It was a gender revealed party. I was deep into it when i found it was a guy and i yelled it's a boy and ran out. [laughter] isn't it weird to live in a time where you can go to multiple gender revealed parties for the same kid? greg: you pose very valuable questions. Those were good ones. We are going to move on. Coming up the view's newest resident is our demented president what do people want more of? more “oh yeah!” more laughs. More hang outs. More “mmmmm, so good!” yeah, give us more of all of that little stuff that makes life so great. But if you're older or or have certain health conditions, you also have more risk from flu, covid19 and rsv. But vaccines help keep you from getting really sick. And that, is huge. 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It was only two months ago you decided to step aside from seeking reelection putting your country first above any personal ambition. [cheering and applause] and passing the torch to the vice mike riddle of the beatles. You said you would have an administration that looked like america, and with so many other things you delivered. You gave us a very diverse cabinet so thank you. Thank you for that. You were my ride or die. I was going wherever you're going. That's where i was going. Ride or die. Is already dead. I haven't seen a tongue bath like that since i fell into the hypopet seaworld. When you look at him do instantly think of the beatles? i get why he left the house for that. Like it was unbelievable. Paul mccartney is older than he is. Is that crazy? nisi him live not to too long ago threehour show no brakes playing all these instruments singing the whole time. I always said the joe biden thing not about age. Some thing else going on. We knew it would be like this. I still couldn't believe just how much it was. But in a way it's like what you want from the guy? he's just sitting there like sam good. It was something sad about it. Like when he said that he definitely could have beaten trump and that's not why he dropped out and there like totally. Totally. Why did you? why did you go? it w

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