Happy monday, everybody [ cheering ] stop it okay. United flight out of germany bound for San Francisco was forced to turn around after feces flew in to the cabin. Which was unfair to the feces that it had both the ticket to see his family in San Francisco. It came from germany. The white house warned that sticky fingered reporters are stealing items from Air Force One. Hey, leave me out of this, says one man. [laughter] remember him . Masturbator. [laughter] a new study finds that 40 sentiment of adults well go days without facetoface interaction. I should be so lucky. For me its 100 phase ii asked. [laughter] thing that you found the pictures of us, clothes. Lizzo announced shes quitting the Music Business because shes tired of being dragged by everyone in her life and on the internet. Is that she plans to spend more time with her french. [laughter] the good news is your doctors is walking away from the Music Industry will be the most exercise shes had in years. It is intriguing that her announcement to keep a low profile comes just days before a solar eclipse. Coincidence . Or just a lame. Just before the start of on and see to a womans Basketball Game this weekend officials discovered that the threepoint lines were the same distance on both sides of the court. Hands were outraged that the game postpone their fleamarket. [laughter] thats a good joke. A new survey finds that half of senior congressional staffers are considering quitting their jobs. Stop or save the environment is so toxic they can find it quietly into film themselves having anal sex. Morgan just looked up. [laughter] economists are cautioning consumers who are upset over higher prices nothing is costing more is a good sign for the economy. Plus they add that rising Formula Prices mean babies are slimmer than ever. [laughter] look of those babies abs. A Wall Street Journal Report says that living in iran is more difficult than expected. [laughter] while i couldve told you that. On this day in 1889 the first dishwasher was marketed in chicago. It came with two movable arms, a Cloth Covering and a cheerful demeanor. [laughter] all right. Redbook testing is unfunded call 911. Remember last week when we cover the greatest story there ever was or perhaps will ever be . Its time once again for. [laughter] greg yes, it was a Compass Emergency to end all Campus Emergencies be rendering yet another protest against israel i woman had to change her tampon. So her friends called 911. There is a female student next being denied the right to change her tampon that has been in for multiple hours which leads to an increased risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome so i understand then you should understand [ inaudible ] what youre not hearing is that if she stand up to use the restroom to change her tampon they are threatening arrest so it is not an option for. Maam, do you have an emergency . Yes, maam, i do. That isnt an emergence there is an emergency. You big mac you have an emergency not your friend inside . I dont remember the time i needed to have an emergency personally to call 911 for help. Im sorry, what . I dont remember a time when it has to be a personal emergency for me to call 91 to help mike i am requesting assistance medical care urgent assistance. Greg oh man. Was over a tampon. But im sure for them that type of time of the month is every day of the month. Im happy to send maxi pads to soak up their tears but this is hardly the stuff of Nelson Mandela number somehow theyre cool with bloodshed by my service but an expected visit from and flow has them screaming bloody murder but he merely murder. Youre erection to the original story. The people who want to defund the police call the police over a tampon but this is not the first time protesters made us think of feminine products. Usually they always act like douchebags. [laughter] but she chooses to leave the citys resources and call 911 over a damn tampon. She should have just called me, i know people. I could oppose some strains. [laughter] greg dead rubber right themselves because the processors are jokes themselves. Because were major news show covering the important stories we are going to bring you an update their maxim of the students involved arrested and held a press or the next day my check out this chubby chuckle head. I was one of the concerned students who were arrested last night. Just want to sure my experiences and compare them to what i experienced last night. Again 24 when he went hours we were denied medical attention can we were denied deprived of sleep, water, resources, at 530 coffee in the morning i got a pat on my back shame shame greg oh. You get the feeling that tampon was actually for that guy . [laughter] i mean he did look a little bloated. And, you know, if it is your time of the month, duca maybe dont plan on risking jail . Instead try the red roof end. No. Greg nope. [laughter] but lets recount the facts. According to the reporting they trespassed a in building and saw the car, which staffers who offered to meet with them with the Minister Duncan refused to leave. Some morons how do you think an active with a mommy coming to talk you in . Getting arrested is the idea. That is the part where you think we shall overcome, not we shall overflow. Thats not bravery, thats intentional and hope potential employers take note lookout used at starbucks. Now heres a perfect tell from one of the other intrepid Freedom Fighters in this theater of the absurd. Greg a collective pileof ho. I got news for you youre not thinking of all the a collective thinking is for insects, armies and the view if you think about a word Document Protein Shakes and bench presses. But does the soy boy even realize he just admitted that theyre all a bunch of minus on a crohns can think for themselves humic watches engaging in a riskfree hobby that they think makes them relevant . s a few more privileged were brought from the collective. Yesterday at st. Patricks Cathedral A Group of protesters at least one in a palestinian scar that, disrupted easter mass. Greg thats a priest who can plan my Pickleball Team any day. What better way to honor the patron saint of the irish then taking the asses of uppity strangers. No the reasons these buffoons can do this is because not only will they have suffered no consequences, they also know how to deal with the actual issues. You have the luxury of distance and endurance with believed popped up by an enabling system they hate they hate. Last a check st. Patricks did not that on the west ba bank. But this comes down on luxury believes, believes held by white lives with everyday material needs are taken care of. And believe that they should be catered to like their emotional, Physical Invalids and when they protest they are far removed from whatever because of the data actually embrace. These ego driven dorks could not find gaza on a map of gaza if you show them gaza on a map. So let me address them directly, children, nobody in hamas or even gaga for that matter those who you are or gives have a crap in fact none of the cd Chanted Slogans use against american art were ever audit in gaza. The gardens are not worried about vanderbilt investments because theres no social Protest Movement in gaza. They hate you too remick and terrorist groups are not big on the first amendment. If you try social protest in a place will by hamas you are probably at october 7th even differently. And another thing hamas is probably not big on, freedoms like womens rights. Tried disrupting Mosque Services in gaza . And producer there are no Tampon Dispensers in the ladies or the mens rooms either. Of course, whatever charges those students will face will likely earn a slap on the risk although as frail as they are that might be fatal. But really the fall here lies with more than just soldiers Social Justice took also realize to become imperial themselves. Is our system, we were more this mentions vanderbilt cost about 60 grand villa is right at the top 20 school of those who are already our future leaders in just a few years will be running things which is the lender luxury believes enter through the realities that make them possible will threaten every Hard Work Freedom Of What like public safety, the border, in neutral media, a legal system to make sure they funny . Sure. But maybe not so much. Because a lot more at stake here than tampons. Periods announcer periods greg lets welcome the next guest he looked like mystically after a car accident. Million to norton as a former miss florida citrus, shes curvy and primitive scurvy, also the more Morgan Ortega she celebrated easter by hanging with her peeps, New York Times best selling author kat timpf and hes got Wait Line Wrinkles and in any [cheering and applause] greg jim, i know youre a compassionate person. Youre concerned about todays issues. And i admire that the imagine being the parents of that brat. While i dont like to see those brave warriors reputations spoiled. He stood up there and i cant even pretend to defend him. Its so funny how merely their children lopping as adults using pseudotherapeutic language, just theres no passion behind it, their joiners. They just want to belong it like 50 years ago it was one, three will and now its oh were denied water and resources. [laughter] theyre not sincere. Theyre not sincere at all. I mean say what you want to say about the sixties but at least they believe what they were saying. This kind of lopping and i think its cute. I think we should encourage it. I think watching the kids in the play is adorable. Greg that is a perfect analogy because part of me, morgan, says i cant stand these people, but i also love watching it. I would just like to apologize to xi jinping an attorney coming his party for everything that ive said over the last ten years, because you are right. I watch those videos they hear heres a crazy think that were making fun of them and, you know, to talk were to change the tampon. Next week in the Washington Post this will turn in to a story where they are talking about how israel is preventing the feminine products from getting to garden women and within two or three weeks, biden will be aired rubbing tampons into gaza because of the story about you just watch. Greg i hope so, kat. I was just going to say one small thing about vanderbilt, the next day after all this happened i hosted the israeli ambassador on thursday, didnt get any press because but vanderbilt is a Great University and it was the israeli ambassador the next day. Greg . Thats nice, kat. Thank. Greg you joes any ambassador . I dont. Think so no. [laughter] im just confused a little bit is my second time talking with the snowcapped Police Students not its not like a special thing about vanderbilt they cant just like rush in and change her tampon, like, a lot of golems buildings are like that. Most of them i dont know where the right to change he literally, you cant go in to a Subway Sandwich shop and you have to, like, by a sandwich. So i dont know were that came from to actually call the police. I cant change my tampon here okay theres a lot of places i cant change my tampon. And thats just part of life. Greg thats true. And as part of being a woman. Godless woman all right, write it out tyrus, write it out first permit using these protesters will have a great story to tell their children or will they never get laid and how children . Theyre not going to get laid but the problem will be built triggers my bigotry before they finish. [laughter] o. God 911 . She made my happy place weird. [laughter] send help now. You know, what bothers me is, if we were protesting, and, greg needed to change his tampon, we would form a protective circle, like, muskox. Greg yes. Facing our enemy where greg can do the big switch. Greg yes. Mommy theres been about her injuries earlier, i ate my already, obviously, i would have given him is a block and you could put it in there and then we can continue on. See i have never use a tampon other then the time i had a bloody nose when i was a kid and my mom popped in there and put it out. Not a drop i had a white tshirt on, not a drop. Phenomenal. Theres other uses for them. Greg exactly. Other than what theyre supposed to be used for. But the point is whichever enough to figure out a way to get greg to switch it out so he wont get the Toxic Shock Syndrome. They can figure that out to the point he complained about if youre going to protest, plan for the day. You know . Back, it up, maybe some water. Greg snacks. Tampons and pads. You never know the situation. Fell as if you go for it out there, everyone will you have just have one. Maam, im here, girl, what do you need . [laughter] [applause] greg youre going to love this. Up next ecard from a stranger. With a view from danger . [cheering and applause] announcer if youre in the area and would like to get to see diller, click on the link if you have Chronic Kidney Disease you can reduce the risk of Kidney Failure with farxiga. Because there are places youd like to be. 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End clogged gutters for good. Call 833. Leaf. Filter, or visit leaffilter. Com today. Announcer Jesse Watters announcer Jesse Watters saying what most wont it may not sound like it, but this. Is actually progress at 225 miles per hour. Shell renewable race fuel. Reducing emissions by 60 in all ntt indycar® series races. Were moving forward with indycar. Because were moving forward with everybody. Shell. Powering progress. Announcer is the video of the day. [ singing ] [cheering and applause] greg if youre beaten and scarred pick a card, and ecard primitive video that he is from a city indicate, San Franciscos Transportation System a. K. A. Bart, i took that everyday, is promoting Bystander Intervention cards to help writers report grasp harassment and feel safe on public transit. Roulette casket. Hello where two College Students who are barths writers and safety is reported to us so were going to go ask for the Bystander Intervention card. Excuse me would we be able to have some Bystander Intervention cards, please . Yeah, sure. Hold on. Thank you so much. This card over here is for when youre being harassed it says you got me, you hand it to Somebody Else and it gives them instructions on how they can help you. If you see be you can also give them this i got you card which gives them instructions on the back to find the bart police or call someone or more instructions on how to be safe. I really appreciate these cards because they gave me a concrete way to deal with an unsafe situation. Im not very equipped to deal with them on my own. And so these cards give me a Sense Of Community and a sense of support. It just gives a very easy way to either help someone or to ask for help without having to do much. Youre ability everybody has one then theyll just be able to support each other so much better feel safer. Greg yeah. As a bonus, if you and your victim card gets punched ten times you receive a free ice cream sundae. [laughter] the cards are also laminated so they can easily be wiped clean of bloodstains and bodily fluids. And on the back it reads my condolences, which can be handed to your next of can. Barts officials its not a perfect solution and warn commuters that if they drop their carts while getting stabbed, they will be charged with littering. [laughter] so morgan, heres a closer look at the cards, and we put them up there . Its pretty amazing. We are doing this because crime and open drug use are up and ridership are known. The thing these cards will make a difference, what say you. I hate this generation so much. Its just ridiculous. Heres an idea. If you want to keep people safe, how about funding the police and making the subway [cheering and applause] just a thought. Just. Greg a thought thats ridiculous. If you find the police the police might hurt somebody to make these cards w