>> greg: yes, happy, happy wednesday, everyone. they're basting me with applause. so by now you've heard the freys trump derangement syndrome but maybe it's time it graduated from syndrome to disease, because while a syndrome refers to symptoms a disease refers to an established condition and trump derangement is just that, it's a disease much like alcoholism where what defines it is an incapability to process booze and that delicious maga martini is trump. no pill can stop it. no therapy dog or therapy llama can alleviate. those who have it are already paranoid. but they're also loons with annoying wives who are susceptible. the most recent victim joe scarborough who's left emotionally scarboroughed by the 2016 election. joe wasn't always like this, he used to look like a normal perp but now he has the same eyes as the kid playing the banjo in deliverance. it's amazing. could be the same person. same age, really. and as you'll see eventually, your mental functions totally tee tear rate to the point ovei. so as a public service, here's what a trump aholic sounds like. >> he is not a normal candidate, he is running to end democracy. he will imprison and execute whoever he's allowed to imprison, execute, drive from the country. just look at his past. it's not really hard to read. >> greg: i just keep wondering what she's thinking while he's doing that. sorry bevis we are looking at his past and it's easy given he's the most transparent political in history and i said transparent not translucent like biden's see through skin and so far no impress dimension executions no ending of democracy in sight but it's clear how the ugliness of addiction could sap your memory and reasoning ability. he believes if joe becomes president he will execute those who disagrees with him but while trump was president he executed no one except soleimani and that guy didn't have to watch morning joe to wake up to a bomb. joe also claims it's trump's mission to replace american democracy with a dictatorship. now, as the commander in chief, trump controlled all of america's armed forces, even the nukes. yet hostile nations like canada are still standing. also actual dictators usually die in office or are assassinated or take a helicopter full of money to europe. instead trump gave up power to a senile guy who sniffs little girls. and then donald happily went back to his golf game and now he just does stand up. >> he's not into golden showers as they say, they call that. i don't like that idea. >> adam shifty schiff with a neck like a pencil. i said how does he hold up that fat, ugly face? with a neck, with a neck -- pencil nevenlth did anyone ever hear of alfons capone, he was so mean. if you looked at him the wrong way he would blow you away and he was indicted once. i got indicted four times in a matter of seconds. >> greg: he sounds less like a dictator and more like don rickles. but you see how bad it is. you hallucinate and start seeing all sorts of stuff that never occurred. they should change the name from morning joe to morning sickness. what do you say? but sadly it's now running rampant at msnbc. >> a lot of people have tried to draw similarities between mussolini and hitler and the use of the terminology like vermin. the difference, though, i think makes donald trump even more dangerous and that is, he has no philosophy he believes in. all he wants is to look in the mirror and see a guy who's president. all he cares about is selfish self-promotion. >> greg: i'm beginning to think there's something in the water over at msnbc besides antidepressants. they got trump on the brain and almost nothing else, apparently, including history. when you say trump is worse than hitler what you're saying is what hitler did, killing six million juice among others, wasn't nearly as bad as mean tweets and jokes about rosie o'donnell. no wonder you see young leftists brandishing swastikas and protests apparently hitler is just guy who did stuff. this is next level anti-semitism claire. back on earth normal americans are concerned with what we know is common reality. here in the us 70% of americans are worried about economy they see getting worse. on crime according to a gallup poll 40% of americans are afraid to walk home alone at night. although some are used to the loneliness. [laughter] >> greg: just leave it on him. over a third are afraid to drive in areas of their communities. these are not hallucinations. these are the real experiences of the american people. so it's no wonder americans have bought more guns than you'll see in judge jeanine's rec room. 52% of voters say they or someone in their household owns a firearm. just a decade ago, 42% said they owned a gun. kat, that's 10 points. fear of crime is at its highest point since 1993. why is that? it demonstrates although reality the addicts can't see what they accuse trump of is going on in the current administration. like most addicts fluff denial and they lie about what we can clearly see with our own two eyes and in san francisco smell with both nostrils. it wasn't president trump that weaponized the department of justice with a conga line of special prosecutors. it wasn't trump who sicced the fbi on parents, wasn't trump who raided an innocent anti-abortion protesters home with guns drawn. wasn't trump who indicted trump for having documents he was allowed to have. wasn't trump who got twitter and other social media to do its bidding on covid. wasn't trump a select committee with a preordained verdict regarding january 6th. what morning joe did is what shrinks call projecting, or as most of us call it, [bleep]. [cheers and applause] >> greg: thank you. and for those of you who are non-binary, bull she-it. that way they can't bleep it. see they can't bleep it if i say bull she-it. yeah. but to the trump addicts on the left, little things like the well-being of the american people don't register. it means about as much to them as personal hygiene means to a somebody hold up in a crack house. according to the new york times, the democratic party that tried to quit donald trump for three years has fallen off theing with on. now they're looking to put trump front and center at every opportunity. of course they wouldn't do that if they actually feared they'd execute them. but now they long for the days when cable networks carried trump's rallies live. why? they need something to deflect us from what they've done to the country. without trump around, then all you've got filling the airwaves is this. >> i, um, yeah. >> greg: is it any wonder america's dems decided the next way next year is to lean into their addiction to all things orange. they know the country isn't going to vote for the guy in the basement again. hell he might not survive the stairs down to the basement. so they want their obsession to become your obsession. forget the economy, forget crime, forget nuclear war, focus on trump. which may not be a bad idea. the way the polls are looking, they may not have a choice. >> period! >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. he worked for the nypd back when murder was still illegal. form inspector paul mauro! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's like a side dish of potatoes, tasty and usually smashed. fox news anchor, julie banderas! [cheers and applause] >> greg: his family calls him cranberry sauce because they only want to see him once a year. writer and comedian joe devito! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and she's excited to gain her yearly pound tomorrow. new york times best selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: so, paul, doesn't this feel like a repeat of everything else. like whenever he just -- shows any sign of progress, they just unleash the hitler narratives. >> paul: what's amazing if you take a step back, he's not even in office. i mean, the guy is not even presiding over the nation. to me he's like a full moon to a wolfman. you see the inner person. i mean scarborough used to be a reasonable person, a republican, by the way. and then he met the wife and everything else, they gave him a show and he went the way he went. but it really is like you get to see who they are and he's the raw shaw test. like ma casical at one point she was theoretically the same person and that's no longer the case. >> greg: that is true. if you subtracted trump from their orbit they never would have expected themselves to talk like that. >> paul: he's like a roofie. >> greg: yes, yes. he's a roofie. not that i would know. speaking of roofie's -- so, julie, i love how claire mccaskill, claire mccaskill says that hitler's not as bad as donald trump because at least hitler had a philosophy. he killed six million juice and a few million russian pows. trump just likes to look in the mirror. >> julie: saying claire was once sane doesn't say much i was once sane as well and here i am, just saying. as far as claire mccaskill's comparison to a nazi and trump it is so disgusting. first of all he's not in the office that's correct but who's in the office right now and look what's happening under this president. under this president we have seen more anti-semitism in thisically than we have ever seen in our entire lives. forget the holocaust, think about october 7th and that is what we're seeing, the hate on these streets with people chanting in support of hamas which are terrorists, women and grandparents and children who were raped and murdered in front of their family members. and where are all these powerful far left liberal squad members, these females coming out in support of women. those are the atrocities they're supposed to be -- where are their pussy hats? i don't see their pussy hats, because they are [bleep] [cheers and applause]. >> julie: oh, sorry, kids, i was talking about my sdmoots i want to point out that her children are in the audience. >> julie: i used to have two cats, i was just remembering them. >> greg: exactly. joe i'm going to read you a ken written by one of our writers i >> joe: fun. >> greg: joe would you say liberals and media hate trump more than audiences hate you after your shows. >> joe: that's very hurtful. about my audiences, 45 people can't be wrong. to listen to the unsanity that they're ramping this up to, and it's because they made the trump the boogieman of everything that they could possibly want to blame on somebody else because the alternative is you have to look at what they've done. it's insane that they're getting on him for referring to someone as vermin. forget that hillary clinton called half the country deplorables and maybe she only called a third of the country deplorables she would have won. didn't. i think it shows that they're so afraid of him. you know, the delusion to say to preserve democracy, we have to keep the most popular candidate from running. that's cognitive dissonance on the level of years for palestine. that makes no sense. >> greg: that's true. years for palestinian. that's not going to last long, guys. or gals. or whatever. kat, welcome back >> kat: thank you. >> greg: it's been a long time >> kat: thank you. >> greg: since i've said that >> kat: yeah. >> greg: what do you make of this -- are they peaking too soon? it's under a year away but they're already calling him hitler. what do they call him in nine months, super hitler? >> kat: so i think it's a cycle. another analogy you could use would be, if you are a in a relationship that is really dysfunctional and, you know, really just stressing you out all the time over what the other person said to you, think about the most dramatic stressful relationship of your life you say i have to cut this off so you cut it off and then everything's quiet. but then everything's quiet and you're like i'm going to send them one more e-mail there's one more thing i need to say. maybe they're stressed out all the time but also, maybe that also made them feel kind of alive. >> greg: yes. yes, it's like it's almost like cutting. like they cut themselves with trump >> kat: i don't know where you ghat from what i said. >> greg: it's like the more quiet trump is, the more they have to fill that space >> kat: going no contact with somebody. i've done this, where if i block somebody and then they make no effort to reach out to me another way, i'm like, they never loved me. >> greg: yes, yeah >> joe: you know what's got to really hurt is that, biden is so bad that even the people who hate trump have to realize they were doing better when he was president. >> greg: michael rapoport. >> joe: yes, they have to come around. >> greg: a complete psychopath and now he's going maybe i should vote for trump and then beats his head into a brick. >> joe: yeah. well it won't cause brain damage. >> greg: that's true. all right we have to move on. that was fun right. up next did a lady go insane trying to fight the whole plane? >> kat: i'm on her side. [cheers and applause] . if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see gulfed go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. and joints, i'm getting into my groove. ♪(uplifting music)♪ along with significantly clearer skin... skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. and is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. skyrizi attaches to and reduces a source of excess inflammation that can lead to skin and joint symptoms. with skyrizi 90% clearer skin and less joint pain are possible. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. thanks to skyrizi, there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement... and that means everything. ♪nothing is everything♪ now's the time to ask your doctor about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save. the chase ink business premier card is made for people like sam, who make- everyday products, designed smarter. like a smart coffee grinder, that orders fresh beans for you. oh, genius! for more breakthroughs like that- i need a breakthrough card. like ours! with 2.5% cash back on purchases of $5,000 or more. plus unlimited 2% cash back on all other purchases. and with greater spending potential, sam can keep making smart ideas- a brilliant reality! the ink business premier card from chase for business. make more of what's yours. goli, taste your goals. ♪ >> it's coming your way, hey hey, it's video of the day ♪ >> greg: today's video of the day comes from a frontier airlines flight out of houston bound for denver. it begins like most things do, with a woman having a meltdown wrestling with flight attendants and jumping over seats. >> greg: good to see claire mccaskill's been calming down. so she's clearly struggling a bit over god knows what. my guess is she got a good look at the in-flight lasagne or maybe they seated her next to a creepy drifter. or maybe that's not her at all and she's possessed. >> that's not her she's possessed and i'm sorry to say, i'll tell you right now >> greg: well, okay then. good thing there was a preacher on board to clear that up. a shame they confiscated her holy water at the tsa check point. so we're dealing with a possible demon who happens to fly frontier airlines. maybe singing some sort of hymn could help. >> greg: leaves quietly. so crisis a verdict and apparently the flight diverted to dallas so the cops could remove the woman. so if you're possessed maybe next time fly spirit. julie -- thank you for that mild applause. you were unsure. i bet most of these freakouts are boozed mixed with medications. you're the expert. >> julie: yeah. uh-huh. >> greg: what should you do before a flight to make sure this doesn't happen? >> julie: well, you should drink before you get on the plane because the alcohol there is obviously watered down flying on frontier, so that's first and foremost. but i would say i sympathize for her because most likely there was no background check on this. i bet she was seated in front of a child and that's what took her to this next level. you know that kid that just kicks your chair the entire time. that's why my kids fly in the lavatory. >> greg: in the audience. >> julie: they ride in the bathroom. >> greg: oh, that's nice. >> julie: yeah. but i sympathize. she's on frontier which is almost as bad as spirit and, like i said, she mixed her meds with the alcohol but the wrong kind of alcohol. if it was good quality top shelf alcohol this probably wouldn't have happened. >> greg: what if she was really kidnapped. joe another question written for you. you only travel by bus because you're poor and unsuccessful but it seems like airlines now are worse than bus lines because at least you can get off, they can throw somebody off the bus but not off the plane in midair. >> joe: flying can be stressful. the part i hate about flying is when the attendants come up to me and say are you joe devito? you're supposed to be in coach. when you fly frontier, which is essentially the greyhound of the skies, the name frontier is very much like pioneers on the frontier in that there's a chance there might be some cannibalism during the flight. but this is not even as crazy as -- you think a woman freaking out, we've seen that before what's pretty bad. what could make that worse? how about a woman offering an exorcism standing up and then another woman stood up and said i'll kick your ass texas style, that might mean with barbecue sauce, i don't know. but that turned into a 3-way nut-off where they were competing to see who could be the craziest person on the flight. now in beening no, unfortunately, we put our mentally ill people on the sub ways, it's tragic. maybe it's better and cheaper if we just put them in the air. >> greg: put them in the air they can just circle around so our streets are clear. kat you know what i loved about this, this is why it was video of the day, it was a disaster movie because there was more than one central character. there were different characters, you had the crazy lady, the preacher, the singer, the gruff but loveable male flight attendant who's getting over a nasty divorce and might have a mild drinking problem. this is his chance for redemption >> kat: are we all going to ignore that the exorcism worked? >> greg: that's right. she left calmly. >> kat: it worked. look, i think this is the best -- i don't want to be too controversial so i was raised catholic so i was raised scared of demons, at least the way my family did it. i think this makes a lot of evidence that women should be priests. >> greg: yes >> kat: we witnessed a successful exorcism done by a woman on a frontier airlines flight. somebody though this to the pope. i want his comment on it. >> greg: yes. paul, as a retired police inspector, is it necessarily right for the airline to put other people in danger? why isn't there like a little -- shouldn't there be like a little prison cell on the plane? >> paul: i don't know. all i will say is this. that was a very well-written freak-out. you know what i mean? it had like a whole arc. like you said there was characters, there was a climax and everything else. it really was like a reality show. from now on if you're flying frontier pray before you get on the plane because you're clearly going to meet interesting characters. when i see something like this i say to myself -- first that would have been the best flight ever, number one. but number two, i've never been that drunk. what did i miss? i don't know how they get that way. >> greg: when she said she was kidnapped i wonder if they were taking her to rehab and that's what it was. i'm defending her. >> paul: the cops in dallas i'm sure were real happy to see her. >> greg: exactly. all right here we go, up next, why being handsome is worth a king's ransom. ♪ arexvy is a vaccine used to prevent lower respiratory disease from rsv in people 60 years and older. arexvy does not protect everyone and is not for those with severe allergic reactions to its ingredients. those with weakened immune systems may have a lower response to the vaccine. the most common side effects are injection site pain, fatigue, muscle pain, headache, and joint pain. i chose arexvy. rsv? make it arexvy. the day you get your clearchoice dental implants makes every day... a "let's dig in" day... mm. ...a "chow down" day... a "take a big bite" day... a "perfectly delicious" day... - mm. 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[laughter] >> greg: just let it sit. even taking into account things like socioeconomic status and health, being easy on the eyes made an significant impact on people's lives but it was the men in particular who benefited the most. good looking men are just better at everything, i guess, including being women. [laughter]. >> greg: joe, i'm going to read another question written by one of our writers. >> joe: you have to fire these guys. >> greg: as a homely, ugly male when did you realize you just had to work harder to achieve just a shred of success and still you haven't been able to do that. you must really suck. >> joe: that's not really a question. greg this may surprise you when i was a teen-ager i was a bit of an ugly duckling. we can put up a little evidence there. >> love it! . >> greg: that is amazing. is that you? >> joe: that's me. apparently i was on some sort of welding team. >> julie: oh, my god! >> greg: this is a class picture, definitely a class picture and you were so excited to wear your rush t-shirt. >> joe: i was so excited. >> greg: did you get that rush t-shirt at a concert. >> greg:. >> joe: no i bought it at a crappy record store was a boot leg not even a licensed. and i heard about it when i got home. >> greg: you're like a caterpillar that blossomed into another caterpillar. >> joe: look at me i'm now a beautiful swan. make that go away. i don't like sitting next to it. >> julie: why were you wearing women's sunglasses. >> joe: it was popular then. it was popular to look through rose colored glasses. >> julie: rose colored not your mom's. >> joe: people complain about, oh, the world favors tall, hansom wealthy men, i don't know why they complain to me. that's not my system. my system would be where's the system that favors soft handed little talented wonderful people like me. >> greg: you're right there are no protest organizations for the homely. there's no parades. there's no like unattractive rights alliances. and they're the ones that are discriminated the most. let's face it, even a racist would sleep with halle berry. >> joe: wasn't that a movie? wasn't that monster's ball. >> greg: i think it was yes, either that or a medical condition. my point is looks trump everything including prejudice. you know kat this came from the pole shall academy of science. you are polish >> kat: yeah. >> greg: can you explain these findings. do you know anybody there? >> kat: yeah, we all know each other. look, oh, i hate to belittle my own people, but i just think -- i get why they did it this way. so they wanted to rate them when they were 15 because if you are an adult you can make money and make yourself better looking, but i just don't know what researchers would do this. if i went to go participate in a study and i sit down and they're like this 15 year old minor, hot or not? i would be like i'm sorry but i have to go. >> greg: you know, i didn't even -- it didn't even occur to me that this possibly is illegal. or, you know, you're a cop paul. this is a great front for perverts. i'm doing a study. you're 15 i would like to talk to you. >> paul: way too interested in this aspect. just remember, the inmet is forever, pal. you know, i remember, david lee roth was once asked by a rock critic, why do rock et i cans prefer elvis costello to van halen and he said because most rock critics look like elvis costello. that's an analogy you understand. >> greg: yes, i do. >> paul: that's all i have to say. >> greg: when i talk i feel like you're supposed to say you want me to give you a sandwich, we're coming in soon with a lie detector test. >> paul: that's right shall it's harder on me than you. >> greg: we have somebody that puts you right there at the scene of the crime. >> paul: what this study doesn't explain is jerry nadler. you're supposed to be good looking to get ahead in life? how did that snoop true. he actually ate a lot of good-looking people. julie you're a human woman. we have yet to do tests but. >> julie: test results haven't come back. thank you. >> greg: do you buy this? here's my theory. it's not that attractive people are more successful, it's that unattractive people are discriminated against. and i think that is something we just don't want to admit. >> julie: right. i think it's great that you made it. >> greg: thank you. [laughter]. >> julie: i'm proud of you i think it's good. >> greg: you know i couldn't be tall because god knows what would have happened. look at me now. >> julie: because then you would be a double threat. >> greg: i would be a drub threat. >> julie: i agree more attractive people have it harder. i did not bring any childhood pictures, i would not have been in that category. oh my god. just fat and i was in band. i would never have thought that i would have actually made it here working along such attractive successful men like yourself. i also think it's more acceptable to say a guy's hot where now a woman you can't say that in the office god forbid. i talk about enp's asses all the time. i haven't been in hr once. >> greg: you know what's true? we when we used to do the introductions for red eye, she's so hot and i would say something. i don't do that anymore. >> julie: i know. people are so sensitive. if you're hot own it >> kat: so now you just say horrifically mean things. >> greg: yes. all right i have other points to make but we must move on. >> they were just about to clap for me and you cut them off jesus. >> greg: that clap was for me, don't steal my clapter coming up a rooker dropped a guitar and they started to spar. i'm having to come to you first. . my psoriasis was all over. then my joints started hurting, found out it was psoriatic arthritis. who knew they could be connected? for me, cosentyx works on both. 5 years and counting. did you know people with psoriasis on the scalp have a 4 times higher risk of developing psoriatic arthritis, which if left untreated can lead to permanent joint damage? cosentyx works on all of this and helps stop further joint damage. talk to your doctor. find something that works for you. serious allergic reactions. severe skin reactions that look like eczema and an increased risk of infections, some fatal, have occurred. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to, or if ibd symptoms develop or worsen. cosentyx. still workin' for me. ♪see me♪ find relief that can last. ask your dermatologist about cosentyx. ♪ >> it's coming your way, hey hey, it's video of the day ♪ >> greg: number two. the band stopped singing then began swinging. our second video of the day comes to us from australia, which i believe is a country. two members of the band the brian jonestown massacre got into a brawl during a concert in melbourne tuesday night. all hell broke loose when front man appeared to kick the guitarist ryan van creek out of the group. watch. >> put down the guitar, party's over captain. we actually don't need you. go. put the guitar down on the stage and think about what's happening. >> you better think about this one, man. because this is forever. >> knew it was going to happen. [laughter] >> greg: it was like watching the real housewives of atlanta fighting. yeah, usually to see a physical confrontation like that, you have to fly frontier. but i would expect a better fist foot from the go gos which is the real lessen here, aging hipster musicians can't fight. for example here's a fight that occurred from members of cold play over the buffet in the green room. [laughter]. >> that's hilarious. >> greg: so, kat, the rest of their australian tour was reportedly cancelled. are you surprised by this? >> kat: you know this is my favorite band. >> greg: i know. and we know, you know the band, i spent an afternoon with anton who's crazy >> kat: i hung out with him before. the friend i had that was in the band quit the band and you might be able to see why. the thing is the best concerts i've ever been to in my life and the worse all have one thing in the common is they were brian jones concerts. some are so good they're live set in 2014, i have a friend where we always say we're going to do something else and we always wind up going to some department and re-watching it. it's so good. i didn't go this year when they were in new york because last year when i went to their show in new york they kept starting different songs at the same time and then arguing with each other about which song they were supposed to be playing. it wound up being three songs and the rest arguing over two hours. >> greg: he's like a big ass hole >> kat: yeah. again arguing is something -- i watch middle age people, you know, drunk and arguing, you just watch bravo for that as you said earlier. ly do anything to listen to music i love i flew to denver last year, too t takes a lot for me to not see my favorite band and it looks like it's getting worse. it's sad. >> greg: paul you actually asked me about this band you said who is this band because you heard music they liked. >> paul: boardwalk empire. >> greg: yes the opening song to balk empire is them. >> paul: could never see them again after seeing that. you know why kat likes this band? because she could beat them up. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. >> paul: i mean, it was probably a good career move. let's be frank, nobody talked about them for a good long while. i liked the sound and everything else but after that tyou know, time to like go back to the bars and maybe start over with accuse particulars or an oregon or a wedding band. that wasn't attractive. >> greg: julie, do you expect more or less from aging grown men hipster --. >> julie: i -- i have never heard of this band. so they're like known. >> greg: yeah. >> julie: what are they called again. >> greg: the brian jonestown massacre. they combined brian jones, jonestown massacre isn't that clever. >> julie: this reminds me when i was 16 and was arrested for shoplifting. i did community service at a nursing home and we were serving beer and pizza, this is not a lie and they got really upset because they were fighting over the beer and pizza. they looked like elderly women fighting on stage. >> greg: yeah. joe, side note, this is the truth, okay, this is the truth. today darryl hall filed a restraining order against john oates. did you see that story? >> oh, god. >> greg: they're like almost 80. >> that's great. >> greg: what is going on with our rockers? >> joe: i don't know but if i were garfunkel i'd watch my back. this doesn't surprise me because i used to play in bands and there's a lot of tensions and i was always afraid there would be fist fights in my band andr practice i would come in and be like don't hit me wendy. but what i think is -- you knew there was trouble. there's too many people on stage holding guitars. you don't want that because if you're a guitar player and say you're fired next guy's up, you don't want to be like a pez dispenser where the next musician takes your spot. >> greg: i just love the way they fight. they are they're like two middle-aged women at a black friday sale. [laughter] eithe one guy is telling them put down my guitar. they're sharing a guitar. they're not packing the arenas. >> joe: even the guys that weren't fighting broke hips. that's how old they are. >> greg: by the way, anton blocked me on twitter, now x, when he found out i worked at fox. can you believe that? can you believe that? and i bought him drinks while he was -- >> kat: that was probably really good for him. >> greg: yes. that was a bad idea. up next, leave your family alone and get your own ride home. [cheers and applause] >> if you missed out, ♪ limu emu & doug ♪ [bell ringing] and doug says, “you can customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual.” he hits his mark —center stage— and is crushed by a baby grand piano. are you replacing me? with this guy? customize and save with liberty bibberty. he doesn't even have a mustache! oh, look! a bibu. [limu emu squawks.] only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ ♪ >> a story in five words. ♪ >> greg: get yourself home from airport. joe the wall street journal says you should be a hero this holiday season by not making family and friends pick you up from the airport because it's so stressful. what do you make of this writer for the wall street journal? it seems like he's trying to send a message to somebody. >> joe: yeah. working through some issues. >> greg: yeah like he's using his job as a reporter to tell his kids not to call him or something. >> joe: i don't know what their problem is, bus it's almost as like, and here's what you should never do, dad! working through these. i know that the airport thing is tough. i've had many people offer to drop me off at an airport, not so much pick me up. but i don't regret when i've done it because the only one i regret was there was a girlfriend i picked up at the airport, and then -- that still bothers me that i was her hired car. but there was a girlfriend. >> greg: did you take her to her date with another guy? >> joe: no. but i did have. >> greg: joe machi. >> joe: but i did have a woman i was dating who i dropped off at the airport and that -- i look back fondly on that moment that i could watch that plane go and go, woo, she's out of my life >> kat: i just looked it up, yeah, this definitely did that. first my dad always picks me up from the airport because he loves me. >> greg: aww >> kat: yep. i know they're like, what, she has a dad. but, yeah, you can always say hey kid get an uber instead of writing this whole thing. like just tell the kid to get an uber. >> greg: and the other thing, the reason why i realize this is a personal thing, paul, is that he's talking about jfk. like small airports are no problem. >> paul: yeah. >> greg: oh, it's a sfwhom this woman who wrote this piece. what's her name? we should do the research before >> kat: yeah, i thought it was a woman. >> greg: we're doing research on the show >> kat: that's what i locked up, it's nicky spelled nikki. you think that's a girl but maybe it's not. >> greg: could it be nikki from motley crue >> kat: nikki six. >> paul: just don't pick up anybody from frohn fear air. >> greg: be covered in their own vomit. julie, imagine if you were a writer and you were lying writing articles to send a message. like don't ask me for money. i hate -- like don't ask relatives for money. >>julie: that's passive aggressive. i just cut right to the point. i think it's selfish to ask anybody to pick you up at the airport. i do not pick people up at the airport. ly tell them pick up a car or uber, i'm not doing that loop like three times i'm always late and i wouldn't be there by curbside so no >> kat: you wouldn't pick me up from the airport. >> julie: no i would call you an uber >> kat: i don't believe you. >> paul: one of those relatives you read about that lives three years in an airport? that would be my poor mother. sorry. >> greg: nobody picked me up. all right, don't go away, we'll be right back. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling in ra and psa. relieve fatigue for some... and stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin; heart attack, stroke, and gi tears occurred. people 50 and older with a heart disease risk factor have an increased risk of death. serious allergic reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. done settling? ask your rheumatologist for rinvoq. and take back what's yours. abbvie could help you save. with gold bond... you can age on your own terms. retinol overnight means... the smoothing benefits of retinol. are now for your whole body. plus, fast-working crepe corrector diminishes wrinkled skin in just two days. gold bond. champion your skin. the chase ink business premier card is made for people like sam, who make- everyday products, designed smarter. like a smart coffee grinder, that orders fresh beans for you. oh, genius! for more breakthroughs like that- i need a breakthrough card. like ours! with 2.5% cash back on purchases of $5,000 or more. plus unlimited 2% cash back on all other purchases. and with greater spending potential, sam can keep making smart ideas- a brilliant reality! the ink business premier card from chase for business. make more of what's yours. 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