but the truth is, viewership would be way higher if my fans got going electronic devices for meth. i wish i was kidding but the last time i did stand up in reno, at the hotel police were arresting a guy in the parking lot for drug use and as they were legit hog timings the guy in the pavement, he goes jimmy failla, i love your show. you can laugh at me but it's not easy getting up a standup show in real. my gps kept telling me to fire my agent. tonight is not about me or my fans, it's about america's children because all across the country get started going back to the schools. >> back to school. back to school. to prove to dad i'm not a fool. >> that's right, if you live in a red state, your kindergarten learn math through word problems in a blue state, your kids learn to add activity of drag queen. everywhere you look it's time for hands on training. my son lincoln is headed into tenth grade. if you wonder, this is the one we used in the for sale at we posted on craigslist, it makes the grocery list look cheaper for buyers in the black web. not everybody returned to work, donald trump skipped the debate on fox and technically speaking, toted so did hutchinson. >> consistent with our and seek roles and i hope everybody -- >> former arkansas government didn't leave voters on the edge of their seats when he spoke but he did have his biggest donors on the edge of the buildings threatening to chop. relax, just a joke. he doesn't have any donors. jump cut class in milwaukee, he showed up for picture day in georgia. they will not hesitate to arrest you for questioning results of an election. unless you name daisy abrams and they will let you in every stage. a huge double standard but they were just trying to get a little exercise. i can tell that joke, if i wasn't on cable news, i would be he wasn't the only president this week, joe biden was photographed from the front and the side although his pictures were taken trial napping on another beach vacation. >> i don't know enough. i've been working out for the last hour and a half. >> every american should be so lucky to have the work life balance of the president of the united states. whenever you see this guy, crashing a bike, taking a nap or eating an ice cream cone but the press is starting to catch on and they been asking biden super tough questions like what is your name? what do you do for a living? to his credit, the president took a break to fly to maui this week. thirteen days after that the wildfires wiped out the entire town of lahaina, the president tried to demonstrate empathy by telling them a story about a fire at his house. >> i have a little sense what it's like to lose a home. my 67 corvette -- [inaudible] >> even the ukulele guys in the background are like what is this dude doing? i get he's emotionally invested in the corvette because that's where he stores classified information but nobody else cares about your fake story when the real story involves them losing everything. biden is the tone deaf moron who shows up on a hawaiian mechanic corruption and asks kids to play floor is lava. the pearl harbor kids and battleship, baby, causing shots for their parents. we hope comes back from vacation ready for a fresh start this fall because everybody needs a new beginning in pennsylvania senator grew a mustache and threw on some glasses this week. the internet that he was going for the walter white look but fetterman wasn't in "breaking bad", he's known for dressing that. i don't think we should beg on him until we see what type of senator his wife turns out to be. harry switched up his look like his autobiography, the american people were not buying it. gary unveiled hairdo somehow way darker and bigger and it was a week ago. why hit the barbershop when you can hit the photoshop? fake and serious, ridiculous, some of the words used to describe megan markle but they apply to harry's hair, too. you think he would try to get an endorsement deal but harry is so woke, he was hoping to sign just for them. harry's real hair isn't coming back but mask mandates are. one of the biggest studios in hollywood mandating masks for its employees after a recent like in covid cases. if we are honest, covid isn't a top ten buyers to worry about, you are relieved when you find out that the lawnmowers and not a weinstein virus the lions gate is a growing number of covid cops cracking down on the latest variant and that's affecting students heading back to the classroom college and implemented by the mask mandate which is completely ridiculous because one, we don't have science masks are will to, superficial this is a disaster dating because students are tricked into hitting on people who look much hotter than they are because the mask covers up the ugly face and you know what i'm talking about. we saw the new coworker during the pandemic and we are like yo, who's the super hunk? six months later the mask comes off and we are like how long were you looking in the circus? everybody knows somebody who looks hotter with a mask on and if you don't, it's you. rutgers university bring back vaccine mandates. the bad news is the vaccine did not work to block transmission. the good news if they are worried about covid, they can buy tickets because nobody catches anything there. there it is, jimmy's got jokes. so silly. back to school, extra meeting because my wife and i keep going into my high school girlfriend at the grocery store and it is awkward but that is going to change because she's going to graduate. we got a fantastic show tonight, i'm not kidding. sammy is here to talk about the similarities between politicians and monsters. the most fun to party with. because all ahead on fox news saturday night. let's do it. republicans have been accusing president biden of running the crime family kickbacks for the big guy. democrats accusing trump of the same thing for years to be sure, there's always an overlap between politics and mafia and with the top lately, it's back in the spotlight but is being a politician really liked being in the mob? joining me now, former mobster in the crime family sammy, thank you for joining us. i've got to start with a true story, i did a book report in will on your book underboss. >> that's great. >> i want to run something by you, i was a slow student, the only subject i got in a and i think it's because my professor thought i was related to the mobster james because my real name is james. as far as i know i'm not related but there are residents restaurants i can eat free with that name? >> i got it. [laughter] i wasn't able to eat free. >> there went that plan. okay, i will go to your area of expertise. with the political things going on right now, accusations against biden, they been coming to trump for years, when you look at politics from your vantage points, is politics the mafia but she pursues you work? >> i would take that as an insult. the mafia is nothing like politics, we are not on their level. we have a different organization. politics don't care about anybody. they are robbing the public and hurting people, open borders, cities are falling apart, no comparison to me what they are doing to what we did. >> i would commend that because obviously in the mafia women and children were off-limits with what's going on in politics doesn't have regard for anybody. >> no. they want off limits, they were people we protected, people in our neighborhood, he loved people in our neighborhood, we never heard people in our neighborhood. you never heard of this kind of stuff in the 60s, 70s and 80s, even the 90s. if you want to compare us to politicians and people like that, we are like boy scouts compared to them. [laughter] >> in theory, qr and of think a lot of people would argue the streets were safer in mafia neighborhoods and they feel today, right? >> i talked and know a lot of police and fbi people, i am in touch with them and became friends with them and they say the themselves. there's no doubt streets were a lot safer so it's not something i'm making a. >> certainly not. what you think of the idea of biden seeing a crime family? does that remind you of things you've seen in the past? >> i've been listening to what's going on with him and i understand the recall law, the biden family is a replica of this. that's what they did but again, you talk about different crimes, they sold out the entire country. when they take money from these countries and pass laws, they are hurting the whole country. another example, we are giving billions upon billions, 113, 120 billion to ukraine, hawaiian air was a disaster, terrible. you look at it and it gives $700 of family so that's what we say, it's not but that organized crime to the degree that is disgusting. i wouldn't mind if somebody stole a little here, didn't pay taxes here or there, we could make a stink about that but these are the things they are doing so a crime family, definitely a crime family and perfect racketeering act. >> absolutely and no one would know better than you. who do you consider more strangers turning on the mob or being on the set of the reality show mob wife's? >> when i was in prison when it came out so -- i was safe so when it came out my daughter was on and said here we go. [laughter] it was good, they did a great job. they had a lot of fun. >> last one, i do appreciate that show, a great wash. what do you think of putin assassinating as reports say, is rival, yevgeny prigozhin/. >> i have no idea, he is a tough guy, a gangster, he's smart. he had this guy around, a multibillionaire, they were closed. he turned on him. i think he has the capabilities of taking him out. he has the temperament to take him out but i don't know, it's not clear, he says he didn't so i really don't know and i don't care. >> i agree. one of the conspiracy question for me, what reports have you made that the mafia was involved helping the cia killed jfk? could they have kept it a secret? >> i know a lot about that situation, i'm going to do a video on it so i'm not going to take too much but i think there was massive conspiracy that killed jfk and the cia involved in the mafia, i think the vice president then was also i think there's a lot of people involved and i think it's coming out slowly. >> i'm going to cut it off for my own safety, i appreciate this, this was awesome. thank you for your time. >> my pleasure. >> coming up saturday night, the typical church reached a tipping point. with the lazy girl job cuts the panel is here to break it down and more next. ♪ when nature and science get together... pretty sweet things can happen. like our senokot laxative gummies. to relieve occasional constipation, senokot starts with the natural senna plant that science transforms into a yummy gummy! sweet! senokot laxative gummies. how white do you think your teeth really are? let's try the tissue test. ooof, still yellow. whitening toothpaste can only do so much. there's toothpaste white, and there's crest 3d whitestrips white. so much whiter! crest. ♪ hey girl. are you sick of having to to for everything these days? you are not alone. according to a study, two thirds of americans have a negative view of inflation. a lot of it has to do with stupid things. the white flip screen, 20, 30, even 40% tip when you do something as simple as by a packet of gun gum. tip fatigue. >> i'm all for keeping a server if they are doing a good job but come on, should we tip a self check out? you are doing the work. tonight panel, comedy legend in the house, anchor of fox news sunday, fellow the cable news ball, shannon breen and comedian a professional drinker line reason is here. here we go, here we go. shannon, it was first you were first. profanity involved in an uncomfortable keep moving. i believe it was the digital check out the did this to us because in the cash age, you pay the change, you weren't involved in a standoff and now you are a standoff i was a trail and to buy the water was like $3 so i had money and i didn't want the 50 cents back, they were going to charge me to 50 and i tried to get back to 50 cents and they said we are not allowed to tips. but when i do the work myself, if i order something online, i take it up. the bag of food, they should turn it around and ask for money, what have you done? unless it's directly to the person who made myself, why? >> don't rub it in but you eat healthy, i had a little salad, shannon breen -- i see what you did. when i go jogging go to church on sundays. >> or scale mount everest. >> i'm trying. i'm trying. you to a lot of women you date. >> i support the arts. i don't know why the judgment. [laughter] >> you are right, you are buying something and want coffee and you have to crush the kids dreams like starbucks, i need that. [laughter] >> america's next best tipper, it's that they are looking on the screen and what you are doing -- you find professions make you more? >> especially not like a restaurant restaurant and they turn it around, tip like you know, i did all of the stuff almost like the sandwich isn't finished yet. [laughter] let me hit 20%. >> there are certain places, you never want to be in an airline with the tip cup, you know you're flying -- >> i'm emptying my wallet if that happens. [laughter] >> do certain jobs make you more sympathetic? as a former can't driver, i have survivor's guilt so when i take a cab, i tip them to where they think i am romantically interested in them. [laughter] >> you send a different signal. >> that brings about of me. >> the guy who works on my hair, it's like two or three hours so i feel he earned every penny but anybody working in service, i over tip because the last two or three years have been brutal, why not? >> all my friends who are bartenders and they over tip. >> they get it. >> they always look at me like -- [laughter] people go you want a drink? >> show for free. [laughter] >> speaking of petite, lazy girl jobs are trending on tik tok supposed to be a pushback against burnout in the workplace. instead, jen the is looking for jobs to relax at home while still getting paid. sounds great to me, where do i sign up? is it border czar the ultimate lazy girl job? >> no, there's some trouble, investigating root causes but as a whole -- this is where i feel the crazy old lady yelling get off my lawn, i was excited to make my own money and make my own way but now we are dealing with a think where young people are cool and i am the old crazy person because working for a living is the respectable thing, it gives you valley value but if you can make a living and stay home and make tik tok or do what you want, can you blame them? >> if it works i get it but shouldn't they be called hot girl jobs? if you can stay home and make millions without leaving the house, you are probably pretty good looking. >> you're probably on only fans. [laughter] >> i would be an only food -- [laughter] >> social media managers taking photos for restaurant posing but they don't even do that. they just don't respond to e-mails. [laughter] >> but if they are caught, they don't have to. >> people say i'm doing content. >> a lot of people blamed the kardashians but they worked there -- off. [laughter] >> but they have created this perception you can be lazy but the truth is, thank you, thank work. >> everybody is nosy. i have friends who say take a picture of your lunch. no. >> that was aimed at you, shannon when you talked about your salad. >> everybody wants to see what everybody is doing. >> the ultimate is if you don't post everything. >> keep the mystery. speaking of lazy, guns and roses releasing a brand-new jam, let's just say week child of mine -- ♪ >> the call song is called perhaps and perhaps they should have retired by now, the first event performed together in 30 years, clearly lost and can't hit the high notes so why to the old man's keep living the old days? classic video, the arena but doesn't it feel to watch the sopranos on amd? >> it's a little dated, they are in their 60s they are saying perhaps a reverse mortgage. [laughter] >> they are old, a little heavier, now sweet pie of mine. [laughter] that has happened in the 80s, some splenda on me. [laughter] the problem perhaps, the fact that they are noncommittal, let's talk about wrapped anthems, a song called i'm acting you tonight, is not perhaps. >> he's a big tipper. [laughter] >> american idol this, assignment on the couch in a v neck t-shirt, british accent, how would you pass? >> i have the 80s and i love it, i am more than guns and roses i was having a flashback, the voice like i'm not saying it will be number one but i'm cheering for the markers in the 80s great music. >> it brings back good times. just remember i told her i met think you tonight. >> isn't that an argument to send the hits? you go see a band, like mccartney, he will actually say this next one is what you consider to be a bathroom break. [laughter] when you do comedy -- [laughter] >> what are we doing here? cannot find figure out why your career -- [laughter] that are 80s, leopard, guns and roses, poison? >> def leppard, i saw them a few years ago with journey and no one wants to hear anything new, just give it to me. it was an amazing concert, i loved it. >> i would love to do that. >> will go up together next t time. >> tiny salads, the whole thing. >> it's going to be a great. >> i'm going to be a big tipper. [laughter] coming up, gop presidential candidate made the best case of the debate this week. are they any fun to be around? i hit the street to find the best candidate to have a beer with. that's next. ♪ ♪ >> there you are, welcome back to fox news saturday night, which republican candidate would you like to party with? first gop debate was on fox earlier this week and it got nasty. now that the smoke is clear, do americans even know who some of these people are? >> i know i'm just like i'm running for president but let's be honest, i could never pass the background check. i couldn't even get the credential to go to the debate this week so what i've decided to do was ask who they would like to spend the weekend partying with on the debate stage. ♪ >> can you tell me who is who? >> chris christie, tim scott -- >> vivek ramaswamy. >> another -- >> probably the most -- >> vivek ramaswamy. he takes his shirt off. >> left to right, let's go. >> i don't remember. >> who do you think what drove the best party? because he took his shirt off? >> i was impressed. >> you are so close. >> nikki haley, chris christie, jesse watters, mike pence, ron desantis, greg gutfeld's dad, vivek ramaswamy, tim scott. >> senator scott were governor desantis. >> you think desantis? as long as it's not disney, right? why is everyone running for president? they think he's easy to be? >> i'm happy with the president we have. >> there's no way he's awake this late. >> i don't know what it is, he's like cleaning the lead. you say chris christie. >> stop it. [laughter] >> shots fired at desantis. the best to party? >> chris christie. >> a lot of people say that but i think he's got to bring a fake id, he's like 12. ♪ >> who looks like they throw a good party? >> i don't know really, let me go for the lady. >> you say nikki haley for the win she's from south carolina, she used to be the governor. if the party gets ready, she could probably get you out of trouble with the cops. you need one of those at the party. i know you like to get handcuffed and all but not that way, it's not good. >> if i want a wing man in tijuana, it's mike pence. does that make me weird? it does. panel is back. shannon brame, vivek ramaswamy got a lot of love. my issue is the post everything on social media. don't you want somebody like nikki haley whose approach on the low? i think she'd be a good time and it wouldn't be all over facebook and instagram. >> you want a don't ask don't tell situation. [laughter] what happens in south carolina stays in south carolina. she talked about her predebate they list and i left everything on it, it's all 80s so i would think her playlist to be fun but chris christie if you sit around and have a beer, he's a former federal prosecutor and attorney so he would keep you out of j jail. >> you will close the bridge. [laughter] >> christie i am a fan of, he's got no self-control. [laughter] >> let's go for it. [laughter] >> he looks like he knows all the after hours bars. >> i do want to see -- >> i don't think it's ever happened. >> sacramental wine or something? >> a heart no. >> one of those guys when he walks in and everybody says put it away. [laughter] >> if you were in a scenario where you needed to smooth things out, i say tim scott, he has that syrupy sweet five and hangs out with his mom, 96. he can calm things down. if you get in a fight, desantis, naval background, a little fight. >> he's the guy you want. >> one of the things about vivek ramaswamy, the young people going to party all night long. he's a young indian-american kid. [laughter] >> i don't even like tennis. [laughter] >> he's got no shirt, he's wrapping to eminem. he keeps working jokes and that you didn't want to hear. >> i think i want to hang out with him, i think he's got good tips, i think he's going to explain the internet to me. i've been talking about this on and off the radio, my bigger concern is not that vivek ramaswamy was to be in the open, biden turned the border into the u.s. open. see what i did there? >> if you go near the border, you will need and want to bail you out. >> i don't think anyone saw that coming, chris christie, i think he won this. [laughter] up next fox news saturday night, we have some big moves, did the u.s. ever land in the first place? ♪ a lot of big news this week. india successful -- russia crashed into it because in 2023 it's extremely difficult to go to the moon which brings up the 54 euro question, did the united states take the moon landing in 1969? i asked the people of times square what they think. watch. ♪ >> is the moon landing real of fake? >> i think it's real. >> real or fake? >> real. >> he's buying the candy in the twice. did america land on the moon? ♪ >> i don't know. >> if we could go to the moon, would you go with me? >> just you and me? are you watching? got game. >> it's real. i remember. >> you were born and 69, how do you remember? you are like a half hour old. >> i remember seeing the american flag on the moon. >> so you saw it on tv so it has to be real? >> i vaguely remember. >> jussie smollett got beat up on tv, doesn't make it real. >> are you saying we might have faked it to meet women? [inaudible] >> no and had gone to the moon, a ladies, guess who went to the moon, guess what you and me were doing that night. in my right? he faked it and he knows it. last time he went to the moon was 1972, come you don't think we went back? >> i think people scared. >> the region like china and russia didn't go we will one the race, we become. somebody beat you and me to kim kardashian first she calls, we will take the call, right? thank you. >> there are still some skeptics. my next guest is a big one, joining me now from a secret location, move many expert and conspiracy therapist, bart. good to see you my man. >> i like that title, conspiracy can steer therapist. >> to give perspective of where we are starting, you famously say we didn't go to the moon, i've given a taxi in new york city and met people from other planets. okay. they should know that. >> i think people from other planets are in your family. [laughter] >> bart taking shots. when i hit the streets of new york specifically times square, ozark local new yorkers, those are people from all over the globe and it was a mixed bag so my question to you, do you think the recent moon developments are casting more doubt on the development from the apollo missions? >> the former head of the russian space agency a couple of months ago said they were fake and they were. we have an eyewitness who was there at the time who saw the fake moon landing being filmed. he confessed this on his death bed. i was given $1 million for a guy who builds rockets for nasa who knows the moon missions update. you can't travel 1000 times further in 1969 with 1 million and you can today with five decades better technology, impossible. this is santa claus for adults. then i come along and tell people who have been saying for 50 years they won the super bowl and i'm sorry, they didn't. they cheated and people don't want to hear it. >> let me give the audience clarity. the military figure you were speaking to, was not cap'n crunch or general mills? >> his name was cyrus acres and while he was lying about to meet god, he confessed to being a murderer, he murdered her coworkers to cover up the faking of the moon landing which was filmed at cannon air force base, june 1, second and third of 1968. all of this is online you can see for free and that's the way this. >> is there a record of this confession somewhere or is that your record? >> go to centrale.com, there's a video. >> that's not a yes, it's a promo. >> you are asking where the proof is, i'm telling you where it is. >> famously punched you in the face for accusing him of not walking on the moon. if he was as good an astronaut as he was a puncher, what that give you more faith in the moon landing legitimacy? >> if i walked on the moon and someone thought otherwise, i would find that hysterically funny but he acted like i came up to his wife and said your mistress, a sword without a point is no injuries but the fact that it's the truth is what provoked him. >> you have said famously you are on a couple of killed lists, have you had any close calls lately? >> not lately other than being on this program. [laughter] an astronaut live mic being left in his home, he's discussing with his son calling the cia to have me killed. you can see that at some ralph.com and why would they call the cia to have me killed if they really went to the moon? >> my guest could have had us both killed, i think you can leave the cia out of this one. last one, earth, flat or round? >> it round, the flat earth think is to discredit people who know the fact that the government faked the moon landing. >> you lost me on that one but i still love you. i'll let you get back to your bunker for safety. >> all right. hang in the. >> that was enlightening. i've got a big comedy special coming soon on fox nation. who or what should i make fun of? i asked the people of new york city and i'll show you what they said next. ♪ ♪ >> welcome back to fox news saturday night. despite ridiculous joseph told, i'm a good sinner, and about to do a special for vaccination. hey girl. i asked some people who or what i should make fun of on the big night. watch. ♪ >> what should i make fun about in my fox nation stand-up comedy special? >> joe biden? is going to air at like 11:00 p.m., he's going to be awake. >> the district attorney. >> you think i would go after alvin bragg? he's a total start that placed the city out of control, you know what i mean? >> absolutely. >> you say all in. you say nothing should be off limits, it's just jokes, right? if anyone tells you speech, violence, what are they really telling you? i've never experienced violence. >> very anti- biden crowd. i get it, my concern is he's not going to understand the jokes anyway. the problem is, i speak english, i don't know that he does. >> mary, 40 some years, or should i make up on my standup? >> start acting like each other. >> you and your spouse are acting like each other? you walk around with a dog collar, too? relationship jokes, that's what you want to hear. something everybody can get i into. >> can i make fun of trump? >> absolutely. >> am i going to hear about it? >> it will be trending. [laughter] >> good for my career. >> really bad governor. >> your governor is a disaster. katie hobbs. maybe i should give katie hobbs sugar, some love? i tell a joke about arizona, how long will it take them to out of the results? >> two weeks. >> a second special before they get the joke. what should i make fun of -- or should i not make fun of? with his slicked back hair. >> biden is always a good one. >> do you feel that? >> i do. >> tickets in the front seat of my car, somebody broke in and left two more. [laughter] et al. you know it's not going well. >> absolutely. >> alvin bragg. >> where you from? >> fox news all the time i listen to. we watch you every day. >> you doubled my ratings. >> come check out the taping of my fox nation comedy special, friday night october 13 at the paramount theater on long island. let's go. thank you for watching fox news saturday night. set your dvr 10:00 p.m. eastern every saturday here on fox news. don't forget to follow us on social media at s and saturday night. hope to see you all soon at one of my upcoming shows. i'm jimmy failla in which case you didn't like me, then i'm jesse watters. good night. ♪ gibbs it's friday. when it's friday, i'm already half in the bag. welcome tonight's game she's so southern she majored in the duke's of hazard. cohost of th