so i tried to help her make her case. roll it, doris. >> happy friendly friday, we ar so happy you are here with us great as you might not know we are number one in late-night tv egg eggen. everyone from colbert to biden williams. we never thought it would happe so quickly or we would have created the competitors are dropping faster then the competitors in the over 90 marathon. thanks to our that's enough for you. our great panel, a host with so much appeal it should be outlawed, but also our guests like tonight's the brett ware who makes eminem look like vanilla ice. that went on for five hours. that suit as the opposite of rappers delight, but it was better then the time on their number one hit where my tether at my but did you know he has done all. >> sometimes i need the hard news of the day. other days i just want to cuddle , why can't i have both? now you can, he is fair and balanced and unafraid to. you squeeze his tummy and get informed. >> the 41st president wants to go to maine this summer. >> he is there when you start your day. he is they are at the end of your day to. >> i just want something to hol that brings me comfort. >> voters are still casting ballots in arizona special election. >> the first helps drive my tears. now the special reports come up much then the original. about as far from the show is you can get. it is caveat reporting. yet we still have him on, but will he have us on his show? i think we have a better shot a getting invited on reliable sources. more important, will he have ka on? she's made it no secret she wants to be on special reports. she learned how to do that from one of her cellmates. as of yet, no invite. sure, kat has more baguettes than lost and found at laguardia . but she does it's the third tuesday of every month. she brushes her tea sometimes with a brush and sometimes left over pizza crust. the obstacle course is insane. maybe it's time kat shows what she has what it takes to be on special report. >> here is why i would make a great guest for special reports. i graduated with an english degree, just like you, brett. we have so much in common. we work at the same company, an much like you, i'm an inspiration and a mentor to man of the. i know how to make eye contact, communicate and laugh at jokes that fall flat. i have a lot of experience because of gutfeld. that is going too far. too much for you. don't just take my word for it, there are respectable people that agree with me. >> i think can't think of anyon that would be a better addition to your panel. i have not slept through the night. and you know all the fans want to see me on special report, right, guys? in conclusion, it won't be a problem, i will stay out of everyone's way all by my enclosed and even chip in for gas. >> especially report, not even funny. last time i watched it, i didn' laugh once. what is so hard about his job anyway? he just says what happened. it's not like he has his boss unset with him all the time telling him he's an alcoholic drug addict. i said cut rate cut. cut. cut. >> that didn't end so well. to the monologue, good news on the covid front. in austria, a brothel promises 30 minutes of vip treatment in sauna with worker of your choic in exchange for the customer getting the vaccine. not included is all the shots you'll need after. all week it is a juice box and graham crackers. no happy ending there. but the point is this, this is what you see when you're on a and everyone wants to reward th troops and we are they troops, instead of shooting, we get the shots. which makes it tough to see whe this is going to integrate even the new york times is asking if it's time to start moving back to normalcy as they say, covid no presents the sort of risk to most vaccinated people that we unthinkingly except with other parts of life like driving, swimming, eating at arby's, but there isn't going to be a day when we wake up to headlines proclaiming that covid is defeated, that's the thing abou war, it needs an ending or it won't end. here is the question, what do the pandemic afghanistan and drug crisis have in common? we have a war on drugs, we had war in afghanistan and of cours the war is being waged against virus. they all show unless you have a declaration of surrender from the other side, we never declar victory. it can keep going on to everyon even though to everyone it feel like it's over, just like the daily show. we are really bad at stopping wars because we're too scared t say when we're done. the drug war as a disaster and it goes on forever. afghanistan where was our longest and we ended up exactly where we started, thanks joe. can we now have bureaucrats to keep moving the covid goalpost based on refusal to accept any risk to matter how low it is. meanwhile we chip away on our freedoms. the citizens are deputized to knock on each other which enables the lord to continue an allows the people empowered to keep flexing like chris cuomo o test day. the war machine is now the farmer machine, follow the mone and you will see declaring victory risks lots of bottom lines which why i'm going to austria for a few weeks, if anything to lend a helping helping hand, anything for the war effort. never hibernates when it comes to breaking the news, bret baier . i hope doing this show will rui his chances for reelection author of the new book do what you said you would do, jim jordan. mention one more southern and chilled drown you in gravy in sweet tea. she watched old yeller and rooted for rabies. fox news contributor kat timpf. let's get past the awkward parts , did anything convince you ? >> i'm just messaging my bookin producer to see if we have anything open for kat. >> we will see if we can make this happen. because i'm so good-looking and funny, people forget about how smart i am too. i want to say one thing, i came on the last time and i went dow to florida, and all these peopl came up to me and said wow, you are on gutfeld. i love you on gutfeld. i said you know, i have the show . special report,. >> you know what it is, each is need to add an exclamation poin at the end. right there. if you want to talk about the topic, you don't care about covid anymore. you moved on. i think people are getting to the point where they're ready t be done. >> i hope so, but the fact is a long as they keep chasing risk, i think were never going to change. >> remember, we started with stopping the curve, prevent the hospitals from overrunning grea now we are we have to eradicate covid, it's very serious and people have lost lives and families are affected, but as w get overtime, i think the country will come to play so we were dilworth's long-term. >> welcome to the show, the first time. everything okay? not having second thoughts? >> i had second thoughts and they walked out here. >> in that's normal. that's normal. when you put something on the war effort, you're either part of the war effort, or you're not . that's what i feel like is happening if you're not gung on vaccine mandate late treat you like an anti- war radical. >> we had a guy that called me last week he said six of employees, half of my drivers are not vaccinated. think that that's what's going to mean in practical and consequences of not having that. you think ships are backed up now, wait till you lose half your drivers. this is serious. the hardest part of 15 days is the first 18 months. this is where were at, so it's scary, and what they've done to our first amendment liberties, more than all the crazy things we see from the biden administration part. >> what squares me about that i it's not being done by the government it's been encouraged by the government into private businesses and private citizens to become their own narcs. that's what scares me. that's how east germany was abl to survive longer than it should , you get the citizens against citizens. >> it's only when people are very frightened and scared, and afraid is when they freely hand over their silver liberties and freely hand over their most cherished freedom, and this is why, no offense, the rectors ge into this business in the first place is for the power and controls you give up those freedoms, that is more control and power in the hands of washington, but what they're trying to do now is pit the vaccinated against the unvaccinated to kind of cold start that machine to keep people in a frenzy. i don't think one, we are all sick of hanging out with each other. kat got a restraining order against me because i was holed up in her house for most of covid. she sick of me and i don't thin americans like being told what to do. except that there is a parts, there's a private citizen that likes telling people what to do. we have neighbors like that. i lived inside her walls during covid. >> that was the smell. >> exactly. i thought it was a dead possum. >> those people are getting sidelines because people are sick, i'm sick of having an acn face like i've been an cherry pie contest with the ring aroun my mouth that's it's not what you think. again, don't tell me what to do. don't tell me to hunt. >> pigpen jesus that is quite a nickname. what about this war analogy. is it comparing it to the drug war? >> is, because it's another thing in common with that as th facts don't really matter. in this new york times article they talk about the threshold set by the cdc what is low transmission, there are only a few cities were that exists, ne york city, san francisco, dallas , what does the rules of new york city's have in the common with the rules of dallas nothing great so you should rea that and say what we can be don with all these vaccine mandates but they don't do that and they showed. again, the people who are sayin follow the science, show me som science. >> that was delightful, don't g anywhere. tons of fun stuff i had including parts of my interview including parts of my interview with directv stream i can get live tv and on demand anywhere. look, serena williams... matrix... serena... matrix... serena... matrix... ♪ ♪ ♪ get your tv together with the best of live and on demand. introducing directv stream. where's mom? she said she would be home in time for the show. with the best of live don't worry, sweetie.. she promised she'd be here for it. ooh! nice shot! thanks! glad we have xfinity, with wifi speed faster than a gig! me too! woah, look! mom is on tv! she's amazing! (cheers) xfinity brought us together, after all! power your whole home this holiday with wifi speeds faster than a gig. click, call, or visit a store today. sing 2 thinkorswim® by td ameritrade is more than a trading platform. it's an entire trading experience. with innovation that lets you customize interfaces, charts and orders to your style of trading. personalized education to expand your perspective. and a dedicated trade desk of expert-level support. that will push you to be even better. and just might change how you trade—forever. because once you experience thinkorswim® by td ameritrade ♪♪♪ there's no going back. >> welcome back fans of fun things. recently we were lucky enough t land to former congress members as guests. here is one of the segments fro that magical night. >> they blocked the roads, they took off with loads. so why wait for an earthquake when chris could just take intake. its in this land of syringes they so everything and plain view. roughly 25 cars pulled out and nordstrom before about 80 peopl ran in, grab absent merchants led. they reinspect retailers in the union square including louis vuitton, burberry, bloomingdale's, i give them credit for having great taste. this has become more common tha hunter $50 or left. or lowered to the demeanors in 2014. god forbid you go into a restaurant without rain mask than they call this firing squad . good news, san francisco's most finally charged after 40 grams worth of stuff from the same target store over the course of 120 visits. they put her picture on the wal and she stole that to. you know what? kudos to her for always reusing her own bag. her arrest only happened after target demanded the attorney launch an investigation. california das therapy is blinken if you think that's check out her interview with local media after her spree. >> tonight,. >> we are hoping to run into th recently ground most prolific i san francisco. tim, how did you do it? >> thank you. i just have one star at a time and every day 110 percent. >> ed like to think the da of san francisco and clearing empath for me and my mom. hi, mom. >> i'm going to disneyland. >> for the right? >> no. >> at true parasite. what better way to kick up off this week of thanksgiving, act ii you. >> thank you. what worries me is that this is a pretty effective tool. they got away with it. they took a lot of stuff and i feel like it's going to be happening again and again. so we can regain. >> they are electing these liberal das. truly domestic terrorist, amp will air as a domestic terroris raised him and it's all like, listen, we love your light on crime philosophy until they get crime everywhere in the community. and other stores leaving the city. the voters would go he'll know. back to law and order. i don't know, do you think thei hiring public security in their neighborhoods not walking down the streets anymore. the looting is at the da is not charging domestic violence. at the same rate that they should be charged it's leading to people getting hurt and in one specific case, the loss of child at the hands of his abuser , the da gave some claim excuse they had the power to charge this crime because this busted up of want to. if you're at domestic violence abuser, this is a crime against a state in the state has the authority and the power and mus hold the ticket that's far wors than shoplifting, that's for sure. it to your store it sure store, kick it were not going to talk because i'd be in jail for homicide. like check this. i had to think of something. you had me follow that. the they run wrong the dinner bell and now were seeing the crime. they put it together. they planned it out, they did it , their effective. they steal it, they flip it. so what are they doing now? they are each going to go out get five new members. democrats never admit when they're wrong. this is the new world we're living in. as lines are drawn, you're goin to see more vigilantes, more people who are going enough because you took away our polic department, you water down our laws, and you have emboldened the worst of our society. >> i noticed walking by your office you have a lot of new so i mean, you must've got them somehow on a deal at some time. >> i wasn't there. nobody saw me there. >> it is kind of impressive tha they were able to pull this off. i don't see why they wouldn't d it again. it works so well. they're going to recruit new people, that's easier than beac body, you don't have to buy any products. >> what is beach body? it's like you're a new mom. you're new mom, you want to be ceo, you want to be a boss babe. here you go. >> that's what makes the segments of good. you'll be seeing greg, how do you create so many good segment you create so many good segment each week. a must in your medicine cabinet! less sick days! cold coming on? zicam is the #1 cold shortening brand! highly recommend it! zifans love zicam's unique zinc formula. it shortens colds! zicam. zinc that cold! cancer is a creative disease. it figures out how to hide from our immune system, and even builds up its own chemotherapy defenses. so at children's cancer research fund... we are determined to fight back. in the united states alone 46 kids are diagnosed with cancer each day. each day. that's why we need to be more creative than cancer. at ccrf, we believe a world without childhood cancer is possible. but, it's going to take all of us. with your help, researchers can find more creative ways to beat cancer. treatments that find even the sneakiest of cancer cells, and break down their defenses. cancer is creative... but so are we. so we invite you... you... you... to be a part of the cure. join children's cancer research fund in the fight against childhood cancer at childrenscancer.org ♪ >> welcome back, my fancy friends. a little while ago to awesome guests join us. you know him as killian conway and michael rowe,. >> they leave you moaning from their constant phoning. we got the scoop on america's getting duped. new survey finds nearly 30 scam a month, the most common one happening over e-mail, phone, and text in that order. 46 percent said they lost money 500 bucks on average grade that's almost as much as one of my shoelaces. you try finding men's size to. most people said the reason the fell for a scam is that they didn't have time to stop and think about it first which coincidently is the top reason what are your thoughts on this, have you been scammed? >> no, i have car shield. so they called me up he save me like 1500 bucks, car shield, check it out. i don't answer my phone or e-mails,. >> have you ever actually falle through with the phone message to find out. >> i've never fallen for phone scam. i fallen for scams that we're people. >> omar event in person. it's like i leave here now. >> how did you not know these people were homeless? >> because they're at in apartment. i didn't do a background check for it. >> that's a great idea for a business. and then they can move in with you. >> sure. >> as that's a scam? >> it is now. it's called the get scam. >> we walked house in the white house. it's what we call elder fraud. to speaking of elder fraud, being susceptible to fraud, and much more concerned that he allows himself to be scammed by hooton. he shuts down the pipelines her and goes ahead and improves their pipeline. his old friend from china. he doesn't understand how or where the virus started to. that concerns me,. >> that's a good analogy. he is like the guy on the lawn yelling at the kids who are americans. they are scamming him. they're is no $450,000 going to emigrants. that is not captaining. >> it was used to rescue kidnapped people in nigeria. speaking of which, have you eve been taken by a nigerian effects . >> yes. with a smiling celebrity next. >> you were one of them. >> they took it. they took my picture and they put it next to a fake interview with me. a pretty nice endorsement. two bad about the boudoir, i might know it's all a scam. >> this is like the mastoid. five have me as the spokesperso for cbd oil and every time the lawyers go after them, it disappears, it's gone, but that i get beers from the five, they will write to me and yell at me because they get taken for hundreds of dollars. to get a quick tip, i got involved and we did a thing wit that, but the because cause you get at home now, these things, don't know if the industry has changed, but they use something called the predictive dialer, i you pick up the phone and somebody trying to two or three seconds before you get income here's what used to be able to do, you hit the pound key three times quick times like that it crashes the predictive dialer. knocks them off line and it takes 20 minutes to reboot. it's a small thing, but it make me feel good. me feel good. >> don't (light music) - [announcer] children in poverty, each one unique, each one full of dreams. they're our hope, our future. they're the reason children international exists. and even when the whole world changed, the things that mattered most to us stayed the same, giving children the tools they need to set their own goals and create futures free from poverty. 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[slapping] get the facts you need to protect your family at pest world dot org. it's that easy. ♪music♪ ♪another summer day is come and gone away♪ ♪in paris and rome but i want to go home♪ ♪mmmmmmmm♪ ♪maybe surrounded by a million people i♪ ♪still feel all alone i just want to go home♪ ♪oh i miss you, you know♪ ♪let me go home♪ ♪i've had my fun baby i'm done♪ ♪i gotta go home♪ ♪it will all be alright♪ ♪i'll be home tonight♪ ♪i'm comin back home♪ >> welcome back. i take this next segment the pr athletes, the and of course, jo mackie. we'll smoking a one could smoking a bone put athletes in the zone? reason goes like this. i don't know if this is right great exercise help produce wit they say responsible for. therefore a compound in the sam family as thc which is psychoactive effects and he because it's moderate dose. you before you try to read this? >> they have cut caught on. professional athletes in every sport from the mma to the pga. or after their training and competition and amateur athlete as well. before their runs, basketball games, for years, certain that they were the only ones. if you're a regular pot user, you zoned out two seconds into the. to use marijuana edibles to enhance your performance? >> you told me. doing to see me run around the building. do you want see it again? >> joe mackie. i love to get the science down before i talk talked to the laypeople. i mutilated the science there. is a science? >> is this like a coverage is t say we like to smoke pot. >> no commit when we exercise for example, there is an increase in mf amount of light in the brain, that's the chemicals that we have in our brain that is like thc, that's the endogenous sort of thc. they're is an increase when you exercise. what that means in terms of you smoke marijuana, do you get runners high, all of these things people have speculated. whether that's true or not, we don't know. >> so a lot of people, in sport claim this works, but also in soccer. you have some pain, is start working out, the pain goes away with or without drugs. the wind. if i felt down about something, and i went and i ran 15 miles, did feel better. they're is something to that. i understand what you say you didn't. >> if i could run away from me, i would. and there were people that i was running marathons particularly in southern california, and they could enhance themselves with the lead when they were training . >> california is always enhancing themselves. it's always obvious. >> that's not what i meant. >> when you get high, you also run but it is also to burger king. >> i order burger king. it's on my phone. the anecdotal stuff doesn't look at me. i don't think the other side of akamai like that either. my company -- mike couzens haven't smoked we do know he said that the basement of the do anything. i guess kevin and linda may be shouldn't do week. that doesn't mean that it doesn't work for other people. it doesn't make sense to me. you can say it is illegal or bad idea people who have been bad for me. does that mean that no people should be illegal, no, just all of them. >> there are hundreds that we knew of. probably more. and there's multiple things going on. that was a time in the '80s when we set exactly the same thing about endorphins. so we focus on one chemical and that is sad. >> isn't that also white athletes do it? it lowers the anxiety that they have? certainly a number of drugs can do that. >> some of the site the ice at about harris is weird. you have no worries. lucky with all with all my whole heart. >> still to come, and adorable segment with some newborn puppies. the on the show. somewhere probably. i more of a cat person anyway. stick around. xfinity rewards are our way of thanking you just for being with us. enjoy rewards like sing family fun nights! rent sing for $1 then belt out all your favorite tunes from the movie with sing karaoke. plus, see sing 2 in theaters with buy-one-get-one free fandango tickets. join over a million members by signing up for free on the xfinity app. our thanks. your rewards. that was is what happened. stew not used on any -- >> everybody was do it. >> 53 to .5 years to start building. at 11 losses mostly by congress. it took the 2.5 years to get started. press stop building the wall. think of it. they go out of they say will still work. i always say he only two, things for canal was will are the wheel and the wall. that will is such an impact. but we've done a great job and i think were given a lot of credit for it and i think now were given much more credit than when i was there because i see how bad it's been. we had secure borders. one thing we talk about people coming in, they couldn't come in very easily. friend all that different rules and regulations, one of the things i stopped his else in all to a large extent that i had about 81%. that's tremendous. now it is tripled and quadrupled quadrupled whatever was that it's the worst are a club all. >> now it is in the cocaine. i change my lifestyle. >> it is one of the most important braces. generally people complain when they're in their home watching tv. somebody on tv was saying it to them. i'm sure they will give it to you. and making 29 somebody use the term i don't think so. no, it is stuck. it is not going away. said i watch cnn same date news has reported, it's not working. i will say it is not stuck. it was there. there is a man looking at me. we can do another one. i have to say i really enjoy your show. are noisier about are a funny guy out up a very serious guy. you get it. why can't we have these other people be beaten. can i touch your hair? elect that our brother have had not but if you want to -- and he kept missing it up. and it is never been the same. and once you beat the crocodile and apologize, they come after you. he lost much respect. >> that was his highest rated show. how dare you. how dare you do that. do you know what you've done? instead of saying i've got the biggest ratings in the show was doing great. he was always a nice guy. i was thought it was a nice guy. instead he apologized. it looked like such a fool. they're not going to replace humor with anger. they want people to clap about their opinions and that the jokes. >> the other find used to trick me. i did his show many times before i used to do this pretty used to greet me on the sidewalk and wait for me. nobody else. this was before it was a politician. can you believe i said it was a politician. he does say that. jimmy kimmel used to wait for me outside his studio in los angeles, very crowded street. when i came he kissed my all the way it and then what happens, all of a sudden i'm like this horrible guy. this guy goes back to his own shows. he was nervous to talk to me. we would be in the car and i think he you might have even opened -- it's one of those things. i went into a big event. and the great former first lady, people love her. she said i've never heard anybody who for you. i just announced. and i said that's politics and all the years we've been together, nobody ever be written out there for some people cheering like crazy. and i set that's what happens when you go into politics. it is true. those late-night guys are terrible. you have done that countries such a service by gobbling up those ratings and i congratulate you. you did a great thing. >> thank you, mr. president, that means a lot. this has been a blast. >> that was delightful. but i knew that because i was there when it happen. now you know too. i'm glad we are on the same page finally. finally. don't go anywhere. look, serena williams... matrix... serena... matrix... serena... matrix... ♪ get your tv together with the best of live and on demand. introducing directv stream. thanks for spending it with us. i'mree. ♪ ♪ >> hello, everyone, and dana perino along with harold ford jr., jesse watters, and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ merry christmas, everyone, we hope that you are ready for a holiday extravaganza like never before. we have a huge show coming up including back by popular demand are naughty and nice list. at the feeding frenzy with some amazing holiday treats, a festive christmas edition of the