Trial, i wonder, who learned a new word . The same ghoulish Death Cult figures falling into a Death Cult . Thats Death Cult material. Part of this Death Cult. Death cult. This Death Cult. Teaching of a growing Death Cult. Greg i guess when you have the iq of a hammer, Everything Start to look like a nail or in her case, a thumb. I wonder if we should start renaming diseases after people . Instead of the delta variant, why not call it the Ron Desantis Variant . We have a dump and are more interested in playing politics than saving lives, the Ron Desantis Variant. Greg clever, great minds that the like. I got one, how about the Mika Virus . Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, its more transmissible than covid and it affects your brain with really stupid thoughts. Similar to zeke and just as deadly if you ingest it, you can call someone a Mass Murderer for not agreeing with you and no one bats an eye but he was a wrong pronoun and they will use what is left of their pc saturated brain. Why not . Especially if you delight in killing children sickening and killing your political supporters seems to me the stupidest and most shortsighted political strategy ever heard of. Yet that what desantis is doing. He is insisting that pediatric wards filled with covert patients, it is outrageous to say the least and frankly, its criminal. What is the strategy behind killing children in your own state and letting them die of covid . Greg great question what is the strategy of killing children . Maybe you should ask planned parenthood, lady. Who is killing children . Who was letting children die, wouldnt it be great if we demanded proof from these idiots . What we are seeing now among the weakest minds is adolescent delight in demonization, it feels good to call someone a murderer. Thats why i keep trying to get Andrew Cuomo on this show. It elevates you as a Judge And Jury to get lots of attention as well, you dont need to bother with fake statistics like the one they use about destin, florida, but if they truly wanted to persuade people to their point of view, why would they constantly berate and mark and censor them . Because namecalling is way easier than making a Sound Argument based on facts and truths and a Sound Argument would take all the fun out of being on tv. Which tells you the essential truth, they dont want to persuade you, they dont care who gets the vax, its all about the surge of dopamine, emphasis on dope. If you were to return the favor, watch out, i did thihis as an experiment, no joke, after Mika Brezinski libeled governor desantis, on the five, i called her a dumb broad. It seems course even for me but i did it to reveal how the media will respond to it, as Gomer Pyle would surprise, surprise. Calling her a dumb broad isworse Mass Murderers, its like the media, much like van gogh, can only hear one side of things. Too soon . They are never offended by the truly offensive if it is set against someone they disagree with. They can call you a murderer but dont you call them stupid. Whatever you say, stupid. Who really cares about Vaccination Rates . It turns out we do. Unlike the jerks at those other networks, we have debated how to persuade the hesitant, if its possible without accusing them of being ted bundy, john wayne gacy, or Andrew Cuomo. Of course there are white folks hesitant about the vaccine but mika, joe, and a cost you to think these groups are like the neighborhoods they live in, all white, proverbially in red hats. New York City data shows that only 28 of black new yorkers ages 18 to make 44 are fully vaccine, thats compared to latinos and whites in the same Age Group and thats a hell of a disparity, you dont hear that on the other shows. Every individual has reasons for the reluctance, some of it is misguided fear, others are based in legit skepticism based on previous lies by socalled medical experts. Like this virus didnt leak from a lab. Paging dr. Fauci. Its normal and healthy not to trust the government, god knows they have given us plenty of reason to. Just as it is normal and healthy to acknowledge and admire the astonishing progress we have made in Fighting Disease with vaccines, it has changed the world. I am provaccine but im also pro skepticism, how can that be . That is too nuanced, you cant get in trouble if you are just trashing whitey. Its the soft bigotry of low expectations once again, those Babbling Clowns on other networks dont believe minorities can handle criticism or masks or getting an i. D. So they focus their bio on an Amorphous Mass of white rednecks, suddenly creating cracker barrel. Its expected another wave of Covid Will Hit Black new yorkers pretty hard, which is perfect set up for a more evidence this country is racist on cable news. I would say nick and her Death Cult have blood on her hands but she might sue me for plagiarism. Only Joe Biden can get away with that. [cheers and applause] lets welcome tonights guests his nickname his hot bod, he always incinerates his victims. Tom shillue. Hes got mad flavor and there is no one braver, Fox News Contributor even her hair is parted to the right, Dagen Mcdowell finally, her opinions are like bengay, topical, stinging, and not to be taken internally, Fox News Contributor i call it the ascot. I call it a crevasse. Greg you know its covering a hickey. You have the Media Consulate calling people murderers, and your case, you are a murderer. Do you find It Offensive that they are sapping the meaning of the Word Murder from heinous Mass Murderers like you who deserve it . I dont think there should be any consequences, people should be able to say what they want, im tired of people getting in trouble for what they say im going to say they are saying stupid things but they should be allowed to. People like joe and mika, it reminds me of Al Pacino one time. Im giving an interview and he said the reason its hard to be a celebrity is that you dont know when you are spouting b. S. , because no one around you will tell you youre talking like an idiot, because they are just yesmen. I get the sense that people like joe and mika and joy dont have someone in their life, greg, you have a very successful cable show. Greg i have two. Two i get the sense when you go home your wife tells you you are full of it. She keeps you in check. Greg way to remind me about tonight. We all have that. Greg she doesnt care about the ratings come i tell her about the ratings and she doesnt care. Nor should she. At any given time, even though your ratings are great, most of the country dont hold you in high regard. Always just keep yourself humble is what im saying. Greg is that Game Show you host still on . Im just curious, i have honestly not heard a peep about that Game Show. [laughter] according to my research, you can compare people to hitler all the time but if i say somebody is a dumb broad, that is heinous [bleep] sorry. Thats mild. Ive Got A [bleep] out before i brush my teeth in the morning. Greg when you a trail of [bleep]. Sorry, Producers Bird its okay to be wrong if youre on the right side, just last week the cdc had to correct these inflated numbers in florida and the texas tribune, you saw this correction where the headline was Children Under Siege they reported that 58 other children had been hospitalized in a 70 period in august, not seven days, since the start of the pandemic. It was okay, they Got Away with that. Greg where was politifact . Generally, i appreciate seeing people on tv who were completely unhinged and mentally unstable because it makes me feel better about myself. I feel okay, im not so bizarre. Your bizarre. Serial killers, i worry about these women. I have something unhinged to say, may be. Speaking of serial killers, how do you think they feel . Everybody getting cold murderers so easily. Be tk got caught because he sent clues to the cops because no one was talking about him anymore. Now everyone is a murderer. Greg its so true. Just look at Game Show. Joey, youre a historian i believe, right . Sure. Greg is this how wars start, people start calling you murderers, than they want to jail you and it becomes some kind of Civil War . I think wars start when someone confuses your handkerchief because you reward a horse to work as an ascot come i dont know what that was all about. I dont know what question you asked it doesnt matter right now because i have something i want to say. Take this vaccine and this Virus Texas and floridas fault, brought to you by people who said exit one tappen, trump became president because of russia, the people that told you that its okay, we will pull out of afghanistan, no big deal, nothing is going to happen, there is a trend here. There is a pandemic in this country, pandemic of public trust and if you just want to demonize a people that dont want to listen to what you have to say, theyre just going to listen less. I forgot the study but like 30 of the people who havent taken the vaccine said the fda approving the vaccine might change their minds. Thats 30 of the people, thats more than every stupid Celebrity Commercial you ever put out there can possibly sway but the fda is not getting on the ball. Greg is that a procedural thing . They have to wait for the legal stuff . Who cares about the fda . 30 of the people who havent been vaccinated apparently. Greg i put things in my body that Arent Fda approved. I was a united states marine, ive gotten every vaccine youve heard of, i may not even be a good source of information on things like this. It will make your legs fall off, i dont know. Imagine if you lived your life by fda approval, you just sit there . Greg im always trying to seek fda approval. There was a Great Point buried in your monologue there. Greg go ahead. Black americans are a group that does not have a high rate of vaccination and yet they keep coming after people as if its some kind of wet conspiracy. 36 of Black Americans trust the police, thats a low number but its higher than the number who have gotten vaccinated. After all the relentless propaganda from blm and critical race theory, the black community still trust the medical establishment less than the police . Insane point from mr. Ascot. Up next, they say the vp is the th bees knees but asked him why and they freeze. struggling Vehicle Sounds think Premium Cant be capable . Think again. energetic music introducing the first ever at4 lineup. Premium and capable. Thats professional grade from gmc. Do you have a Life Insurance Policy you no longer need . Now you can sell your policy, even a term policy, for an immediate cash payment. Call Coventry Direct to learn more. We thought we had planned carefully for our retirement. But we quickly realized that we needed a way to supplement our income. Our friends sold their policy to help pay for their medical bills and that got me thinking. Maybe selling our policy could help with our retirement. Im skeptical, so i did some research and called Coventry Direct. They explained Life Insurance is a valuable asset that can be sold. We learned that we can sell all of our policy or keep part of it with no future payments, who knew . We sold our policy. Now we can relax and enjoy our retirement as we had planned. If you have One Hundred Thousand Dollars or more of Life Insurance you may qualify to sell your policy. Dont cancel or let your Policy Lapse without Finding Out what its worth. Visit conventrydirect. Com to find out if you policy qualifies. Or call the number on your screen. Coventry direct, redefining insurance. Greg College Kids love Kamala Harris but dont know whyala. [laughter] i dont even know where to go after this. Yeah they give kamala a five star review, young people applaud her when asked by conservative new site Campus Reform, check it out. I really like her, i think its really inspiring to see our first Woman Vice President. I like having a woman, person of color democratic leader in that position and i think shes a great representation. I think its amazing to have a Woman Vice President and we are making great headway with that and shes a definite girl boss. Greg its proud of . Besides her being the first and so many different forms, that would be my first thing. Off the top of my head, i Cant Think of many of them. No, i dont really keep up with politics. On social media i see she does great posts. Can you name any specific accomplishments that shes had since shes taken office . Not any specific ones particularly, no. What policies specifically do you agree with . I dont know. Can you tell me some . Maybe i dont know what her policies are. [laughter] maybe you can cut that part out. Greg shes destined for tv. I have to admit thats pretty funny. How funny . Lets ask the expert. What do you to know . I want to give her the opportunity. Greg is it fair to ask college Kids Anything about the world at all . I cant be a hypocrite, and 2013 i worked for Campus Reform and at Usc I Mi walked around ay thought obama deserved a nobel Peace Prize and i think we have that. We might. In general, being a good guy, its creating a lot of peace and mellow and not as much anxiety among the people. I love obama, i think everyone is so hard on him but secondyear. Greg i thought you were in the video. Other than the fact, it is true. I am now far more attractive than i was in 2013, which is good. I cant wait to see me when im 86 years old, im going to be so hot no one will be able to look at me. Other than my very much more attractiveness, so hot now, not much has changed i asked them, do you think there were like yes . Why . I dont know, hes a good dude. Its not getting better and its sad to because these are the same people that will tell you if you disagree, you are a horrible person, sexist, racist, bigoted, if you dont think these people are so great and so wonderful but they dont even know why other than they saw a mean. Greg the hilarious thing about this is their grasp of the world is inversely proportional to their arrogance about the world. I consolidated what you said in the suburb it made sense. I had to fit in a part about how goodlooking i am. Greg someone had to. Heres the problem, Number One come out of the mouths of babes. Greg they were cute, werent they . The accomplishments he or challenging my entire existence right now, im almost positive that was at georgetown which i find hilarious because all the videos now are from georgetown, they are all stupid and i went to that school. Its true. Those people are 18, they all exist at 28, 38, 48, 58, those are the people electing our president s every four years. Their parents are, their older siblings are, people are just as disconnected and just as tuned out because in this country, poverty comes with a cell phone. We are an amazing place, we have prosperity on our down years, we are mad because we are buying a 3,000 Squarefoot House instead of 4,000 Squarefoot House, this is an amazing place to live there and we need to tune in more and hold people accountable. 20 years in a war im not going to give that one up anytime soon, i apologize, a little bit of a personal rub, ill explain later. Greg i think young people, they claim they like to stand out in a simple way. I like to dye my Hair Blue come im to get a nose ring, like that is a really brave choice. They just want to blend when it comes to ideas, they dont want to stand out at all. Its a very interesting contrast. They just want to say the right thing. Take it from me if you try to stand out like my entire 20s, i had a haircut like joey. You cant catch a dude if you stand out like that. I have something to say for these girls, college students. They are super smart. If somebody comes up to you with a camera and a microphone in college and says what do you think about The First Black Female Vice President in history, and they stick the microphone on your face. She is wonderful because theyre sitting there thinking, shes amazing because if i say anything negative, i will never get a job and ill be labeled a racist bigot for the rest of my adult life. Then when they ask the women and the boys, what is her accomplishments, of course they cant say anything because he hasnt done anything. They were right on both counts. Greg the lady over there, cant remember her name. She made a Great Point. Im making fun of these people all they were doing was self preservation. They knew they were on camera. Can i say the campus has been reformed . When i was in college, girls did not wear summer dresses. How about that Terry Cloth Number maybe they arent in school right now . There on campus. You are really an oldfashioned person. Should they be wearing something out of a Burlap Sack . Im saying on my campus at the way they looked. I love the look, pairing the Terry Cloth Onesie with a pair of rollerskates is a great look. All right, all right. Are you sweating . Greg if you kill that many people you would be sweating too. Up next, can we identify pregnant people look, this isnt my first rodeo and let me tell you something, i wouldnt be here if i thought Reverse Mortgages took advantage of any american senior, or worse, that it was some way to take your home. Its just a loan designed for older homeowners, and, its helped over A Million americans. A reverse Mortgage Loan Isnt some kind of trick to take your home. Its a loan, like any other. Big difference is how you pay it back. Find out how Reverse Mortgages really work with aags free, noobligation Reverse Mortgage guide. Eliminate monthly mortgage payments, pay bills, medical costs, and more. 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Call now so you can. Retire better greg they want to include pregnant males in their tweet is a big fail. Director Rochelle Walensky tweeted this nonsense, the rise of cases, vexing Hesitancy And Increase risk of severe illness for pregnant people made vaccination against covid19 more urgent than ever. Pregnant people should be vaccinated against covid19. From now on, we are using the term pregnant people to recommend that women get the vaccine, take that, feminists. Even people who think the earth is flat are saying thats a [bleep] bad idea. Personally, i love that tweet. I might frame it and put it above my bed next to the Ceiling Mirror i tell people from a previous owner. Some people pushed back like Illinois Congresswoman mary miller, she tweeted when the cdc uses leftwing activist language like pregnant people in official guidance, the public loses Faith And Trust in objectivity, is it the cdc that men can get pregnant . How do we trust the signs that other end women because of leftwing politics, well said. I wonder what the angry, white, mostly nonpregnant male thinks about all this. Pregnant can mean many things, you could have a woman who was pregnant with child, for instance i make frequent use of pregnant pause in my speech, i feel people will wait as long as i like if i simply imply a little pregnant pause. [laughter] [applause] greg you know, if you covered this story the media will say look at the rightwingers pounce on birth people, when in fact its the left pouncing on words like mom. This stuff is actually an attack on women which is why, its an attack on women to appeal or appease a tiny group of really angry activists. And it chaps my ass. Greg i have a lotion for that to. I know i borrowed it. Its not like some white supremacist symbol, ive never given birth to a child, but i have carted around my entire life these reproductive organs and they are painful and messy and they come with a lot of pain. I would wear them on the outside if i could like on holsters so people would know my sex and know my capability that i could cook a baby if i feel like its. Greg im not sure cook is the best verb, but to each his own. Its a bomb in an up and come on cooking a baby. Ive heard it. Greg babies in the stomach . I was told, its great that wasnt true. Theres this thing called a uterus, greg. Greg wait until we have uterus transplants, than men can be truly pregnant, im waiting for that day. I think the irony here is that you can mock or Blood Libel Someone unsure of the science behind the vaccine but you better not mock the science behind the pregnant man. Speak of the first thing i thought when i saw this is call it whatever you want, thats whatever but when it comes to the cdc after everything they have said and done over the past year and a half, this isnt even in the top 20 for things that chapped my ass. If im ever pregnant, if Rochelle Walensky wants to follow me around with the bullhorn and call me a big fat whale, that would bother me less then what the cdc has done in the past year and a half in terms of destroying the country. Cant top that. Greg do you want to not bother topping it . You top a lot of things. Who wouldve thought using the Word Mother is offensive, we arent even using the second part. People who shouldnt trust the medical establishment when they invented the Pharmaceutical Companies invented formula, they told women this is better than your natural breastmilk and they told him that for years, it wasnt true. Now that women no, theyre wiser, they know natural breastmilk is maybe this group of women, pregnant women has reason to be skeptical of the medical establishment. Rochelle walensky included, shes got the crazy eyes, like aoc. They have that stare. Greg so do you your eyes light up when you were talking about breastmilk. I mean, my god. Speak out you didnt even say that the Murderer Thing in the a block, i dont know why greg joey, you have children. I have never murdered a baby but i played an intimate role in turtle of them. You know what really chaps my ass . The top part of my leg right now. Thats in the next block i thought you were all saying chaps but tom refused to ride to work yesterday. If you want to get rid of mother and women, thats okay. Ive got other words, theres all kinds of words of animals that create babies and i use them all the time because i killed him for sport. Pregnant people, brought to you by the cdc, maybe they arent really and sometimes they are and for kids under 12 over 13 they dont know what they are doing, this is the cdc. Nobody is listening to them right now. They are kowtowing to a tiny segment of activists on twitter while they pass judgment on people just trying to get by with their kids and figure out what is best in their lives. Weve got to move on, Up Next potential girlfriends shy away if you hang with women every day. Greg our guys less attractive to gals if they have many female pals . A new study out of australia, the recent home of running water, found that the men who have a lot of female friends are less attractive to women because they are seen as having too many options, and are therefore too hard to tie down. Hard to tie down . You can learn some very secure in knots on, as long as you get at least one done before he wakes up, youre golden. Greg why can i hear her thoughts . Women are forced to look at pictures of dudes, when they found out some of the guys who had friends were girls, they ranked the players 40 less attractive, when asked how they felt about this, they just folded their arms and said fine. Sitting around getting photos of men, ive got to sign up to participate in more studies. Joey, there is a bit of hypocrisy going on here among women, the same women who say i love having Guy Friends will freak out when her boyfriend is out with the girls from work, and my right . Probably. Im all about hypocrisy because hypocrisy means theres a difference between men and women and we are fighting a good fight already here. I guess i look at it this way my thought at it is and i have a dudes perspective, if i have a buddy who has more girlfriends than Guy Friends, i just assume hes not looking for a woman. Hes over there doing his thing and ive Got A lot of friends that have girl friends, i dont have a lot of friends who have a lot of girl friends. Greg you are drowning, you could feel him sinking. None of the guys hang out with want to be around a woman all the time or a group of them unless they are dating one of them and theres something in it for him. Thats a lot of work. You know what else is a lot of work . Would be cheating if you do it with one of your female friends. Guys, hes not going to cheat on you with one of his girlfriends, a guy with all the Guy Friends who says sorry babe, saturday is for the boys and neither one of you ever know the other one exists. The other way is too messy, thats the way its going to cheat on you. You just shouldnt have friends. With a boy, thats how you can bang another girl and thats how. Greg my guess is you have no female friends because you have no friends. Your wife must be thrilled you are an isolated freak. All my old girlfriends are friends of mine. I think thats a good judge of character. Greg thats a good country song. If you remain friends with your girlfriend, it probably means youre doing something right, i think. Thats my theory. I think women are confused about this, people who are more oldfashioned if women were to deprive men of the satisfaction that they give them. Greg what you call it, populated . Than they would have to focus on one woman of time, winning her over for life. If youre not a you will never find a husband. Greg thats true, thats my new book. Mike pence, he was right from the start. His role was dont be around women who aint your wife. Right . No, hes wrong. Im in this with cat, you also want to date or be with a guy who hangs out with a lot of women because he will get better gifts. If you date a guy whos hanging around a bunch of dudes, youre going to get a full make him a flammable bathrobe that he bought off, a Folding Table from some dude outside of bonanza. They dont have time to go to the store, theyve got to go from bonanza to the club, youre going to get some Nylon Backpacks and by the way with dudes hanging out with other dudes, their friends will encourage you to get fat, like that in visceral fat, hard to hard guts because they want you to look like them. You hang out with women, they will be the first to tell you, you have to do some situps and to stop eating all those doughnuts. Because no one is going to want to hit you. Greg i think i learned almost nothing. That was very interesting, i cant wait for this next segment. Its brandnew. Coming up, jokes that were overlooked but never overcooked. Greg we do a lot of stories over the course of the week and theres tons that we consider but dont ever make the show, stories that do we come up with a bunch of jokes for it but we dont use all of them either. That means its time for a new segment that im calling gregs leftovers. Clever. The thing about leftovers, sometimes they are good, sometimes not so much but you never know until you dig in and then get Food Poisoning and die. Lets sample them and one we are done, the panel can tell me if there are any winners. Here we go. Andrew cuomo has gone into hiding which is the perfect place to be to be ambushed interviewed by matt lauer. [laughter] first michael avenatti, now colombo, the democrats are losing president ial candidates like Hunter Biden loses teeth. Michael avenatti is in Jail And Cuomo might be next, it has republicans hoping hillary might throw her hat in the rain come a lot corrupt, they say. Courtesy laugh from cat. Shut up. Andrew cuomo has resigned, he doesnt want to miss bring your daughter to work day. Thats a strong one. Very strong, i wouldve put that in the show if they wouldve actually send it to me. Bad news, the scandal means Andrew Cuomo is not selling many copies of his book, the good news is they are making it into a movie produced by harvey weinstein. Probably could have read that better. Cnn is not sure if they should penalize Chris Cuomo his onair antics, for now they are just relieved nobody saw it. Chris cuomo says he gave his brother some tips for keeping a low profile, Step One make sure nobody watches your show. [laughter] people wonder why Brian Stelter let himself get grilled by stephen colbert. He heard grill and thought there would be burgers. Brian stelter defended Chris Cuomos ethics on colbert, i didnt know that show was supposed to be funny. This is better than my monologue. Times up, president will resign after backing cuomo, in her defense the Job Market is tough for hypocrites unless John Kerry stepped down as climate multimillionaire Director Quentin Tarantino refuses to give any money to his mother for discouraging his Film Career although he says he will give 50 off junior mints. American airlines has mandated employees get the Covid Vaccine by october 25th, or risk getting fired. Meanwhile, Spirit Air has decided to focus on hepatitis. [laughter] airlines are bringing back covert restrictions due to the delta variant, i thought thats what they called it when you had to change plans at newark. Thats only an East Coast joke. Did you see this . A frontier Airlines Flight Crew duct taped a rowdy passenger to his chair but for an extra 10 they will give him have a can of soda. Thats the second time an unruly passenger has been duct taped to a plane, the Musthave Greyhound thinking maybe we should open up an airline. People are dying here. Frontier Airlines Duct taped a ruddy passenger to his chair which on frontier is called an upgrade. Frontier is the airline for people who consider eating in their Car Dining out. I like that one. A spokesperson for the airline said they are not punishing the flyer with tickets for another flight on frontier. A School Board Member in Oklahoma Called Students who come to school unmasked potential murderers. Students quickly replied where do you think we are, chicago . The governor of oregon has dropped the reading, writing, and Math Proficiency acquirements for High School Graduates and due to budget cuts, students will only learn about 15 of the 22 genders. The governor of oregon has dropped the Reading And Writing requirements for High School Graduates, outraged students want to sign a petition but they dont know how. And finally, teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg warns of a new crisis, and two Years Earth may run out of caring who she is. [applause] thats a good segment. Im out of breath, dont go announcer 1 as they head toward the finish, warren has built a substantial lead and headed for her fourth Gold Medal Announcer 2 shes ahead of the World Record Pace by at least half a second and she oh wait, wait. Whats she doing . Announcer 1 i think shes doing a headstand. Why would she do that . Announcer 2 shes stopping. She just, she stopped. Announcer 1 ive never seen anything like this. Announcer 2 she was so close to the finish, and she stopped. Announcer 1 i dont know what shes thinking announcer 2 this is unbelievable. Ive never greg we are out of time. Set your dvrs every night. Thanks to tom shillue, joey jones, Dagen Mcdowell, kat timpf, our studio audience. Fox News Night is next. I am greg gutfeld. I love you, america. Acacacacaca. That will do it. Hello, everyone. It is 5 00 in new York City. So President Biden is Kicking O this scene and enjoying vacation. Problems pile up at home and overseas. Inflation is running rampant an Gas Prices in pretty much everything the disaster at the border is getting worse. And this setting new records an the