Weve got quite a panel here this evening. Look who has joined us. Jesse watters. He is our favorite man on the street, but sometimes we wish we had left him there. His hair is like an extension cord. Thick, dark, and full of plugs. Yes, but he is here tonight. Its amazing what you will do when youre trying to sell a book. Speak out your. Greg he tried to sell me one in the bathroom. Today when you have mouths to feed on massages, any port in a storm. But at least you write your book. Unlike kill me. You know who wrote his, right . But Jesses Book is a wild success finally giving him one that he can point to in his life other than lettering and lacrosse at the bride. There she has. I can never remember her if she has a dog or not. But to her credit, shes capping a long day of work from 9 00 a. M. To midnight tonight. God, how lucky is her husband . Peter, take out the garbage. Peter, wipe your feet. Peter, that is jaspers chair. Can you imagine what peter is doing tonight right now when shes not home . [bleep]. [laughter] greg hes very proud of that evening. God only knows what jaspers doing when you are not there, dana. Greg at least he wiped. Hes been on fox so many times maybe he should host Fox News prime time. I mean, have you seen some of the scrubs they have on there . Also on the show tonight, david asman. [applause] Charles Payne canceled. I kid, i kid. As many of the regular over At Fox business, you know how they have mornings with maria . They were planning on evenings with as men, but it was just one letter away from a movie i made in taiwan. Its the tenth anniversary of The Five. [applause] to put it in language that kat understands, that is ten years. Or the answer her husband gives when asked what it feels like to be married First Kat for three months. Its a big deal. Like Brian Stelter without a chamber, surviving ten years and Cable Isnt normal. I want you to think about the image. Mtv didnt even play music that long. A Book Of The Five is like one of the super Old Japanese ladies. They just found out they became 120 years old, and everyone wants to know her secret. But it turns out she cant count. I dont know if thats a good thing. But think about all the stuff that The Five outlasted. Hummingbirds, green frogs, koala bears, hedgehogs. You have to get all their average life spans. The five is greater. We also beat these shows, a whole bunch of them. In your face, will grace. Seriously, who expected a reboot of that to work . Whats next, the alleged reboot of covid. Debra messing could play the delta variant. Yeah, we outlasted shows with bigger shows, better staffs, and better drugs. At fox, we are lucky if we can snort crushed i believe in The Green Room bathroom. In case you need a refresher of how great The Fives, here is a montage. I want to get greg and here. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg, take us home. Greg, go. Greg, im going to you next. Greg. Lets go, greg. Greg. Lets bring in our constitutional scholar, greg gutfeld. Greg, im glad we are friends again. Greg. Thank you, greg. [applause] greg how many women does that guy get . Okay, identify as women. But there is a very unique role that The Five plays today. Its a live show in which people speak their minds. Which is dangerous these days as walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers. We have been at the forefront of canceled Culture Pit we saw it coming because it came to us early on. In this day and age, theres a Cottage Industry based on the Dopamine Hit One gets from attacking strangers. On twitter, people wait to pounce on us for saying something honest. Because honesty is what gets you in trouble. You ever noticed that cnn, msnbc, abc, these anchors never get into trouble . I mean, with her pants on. Even while the latenight shows kept quiet, we didnt. We took it on. And we keep at it every day. We show up and none of us bite our tongues, except maybe day now. You should hear her profanity laced rants about immigrants and The Green Room. I had no idea they were so many curse words that rhymes with guatemalans. But the reason for the Fives Success and Foxs Success and the Shows Success is risk. We are taking a risk every day to tell you the truth, especially when the truth is under fire. Its attributed to the audience who supports us. Its a predict about how the media reacts to new fox shows. It happens with The Five ten years ago and it happens with this show today. The recipe is always the same. A Press Release announces the show, haters tune into trash it. Ironically, the same things the fans love about it. And then the haters go away and the fans stay. And michelle becomes a hit and it runs for thousands of episodes. Tonight our first block is dedicated to The Five. Lets welcome tonights guests. She reaches for the stars, but she will be lucky to read the shelf. Dana brito. He never joined a fraud, he has the fraud. The five Oh Host Jesse watters. He spent a decade as a journalist, but we wont hold that against him. Fox business anger, david. For her wedding, she registered at Bed Bath and the bone. Fox news contributor kat. Dana, we are watching our special five jerseys, right . She looks good in hers. You know it, thats sexist. How come i didnt get one. Those two times that i fill dana and the Christmas Week of 2015. Pretty. Greg the ratings were released on the most to shows. But i think dana, its got to be tough for you to come and work every day and still be starstruck when you are around me. How do you maintain the composure when you come to work . Its like you never i actually pinch myself so that the pain takes away the fear. Thats the way to do it. My wife wonders where ive been all day when she sees my Black And Blue marks. Speak i think for me it has been its been amazing to be a part of the show as jesse begins his Career And Yours is coming to an end. Nice, dana. Greg that stung. Im not going to lie. Jesse, if it werent for The Five youd be living in a youth hostel. I thought he did. Greg Earning Tricks for your next fix. Oh, jeez. Im glad you asked me about my book. Because in the book i wrote about some of the things you say in the commercial break. And id like to share these things with the audience. All right, get the [bleep]er ready. I [bleep] the ocean. Charity sucks, its the best thing you ever do and they get all the money. If you are going to kill your spouse, take them hiking. Its true. Greg its the best way the cheapest form of Phone Sex is calling victorias secret. You have to save some for sunday brunch. So if you want to hear more about what greg says of the commercial break, by how i save the world. Reese witherspoon is beating me right now. And nothing against reese, but i heard the last book she recommended made everyone sick. [laughter] but she wrote her book. Oh speak of those are fighting words. Greg kat, you do have some experience with The Five. Care to add anything to the Selfcongratulation Party . Its a little bit like High School when everyones talking about how much fun they had at the parties that i wasnt invited to. But you know, i am a viewer. I enjoy the show. Im very happy for all of you. And im excited that also they show that was supposed to not go on very long and everyone was saying was canceled after three episodes is doing very well. Lets be honest, if it wasnt for The Five, we probably never wouldve met your husband, right . I dont know how that makes sense. We met on an app. Do you make everything up . Greg, how did you get your stuff to make that montage of all the things about you . I mean, thats something. This because she wants one. Greg i said, you know it would really upset dana . As if we did a montage and it was just me. And in the middle of the montage, you said i said, how long is this thing going to go on . It gave me some great ideas for my weekend show. We are going to do that on saturday night. Greg welcome i think were going to have another ten years. What do you say to that . It got lots more to go on the show. Up next, a teacher has been maligned for speaking his mind. Oh are you using liberty Mutuals Coverage Customizer tool . So you only pay for what you need. Sorry . Limu, youre an animal only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. I dont just play someone brainy on tv im an actual neuroscientist. And i love the science behind Neuriva Plus. Unlike ordinary memory supplements, Neuriva Plus fuels six key indicators of Brain Performance. More Brain Performance . Yes, please neuriva. Think bigger. announcer if youve struggled to lose weight, you might think you were born with a slow metabolism, but what you may have is insulin resistance. Fat becomes trapped inside your body and it becomes very difficult to lose weight. Now theres release from golo. 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Tell me know you did it. Yeah. Get a little closer. Thats insane. Thats a different car. Thats the same car. No yeah, thats before, thats after. Oh, thats awesome. Make it nu with nu finish. Greg he teaches phys ed, but they wont forgive what he said. The Virginia School board is taking its case against an elementary School Gym Teacher to the state supreme court, which is like the regular court but with more toppings. You mightve heard about tanner cross. He was put on leave back and make for speaking out against the District Policy that required teachers to address transgender students with their preferred pronouns. I love all of my students, but i would never lie to them regardless of the consequences. Im a teacher, but i serve god first and i will not affirm that a biological boy could be a Girl And Vice versa. Its against my religion, and flying to a child, its abuse to a child ended sinning against our god. Greg after that he got suspended. The court ruled that he had the right to give his opinion at a public meeting in the school had no right to try to fire him. He was reinstated, but now the district in between denouncing their privilege, inspiring back like a Meth Head flinty indulge balls. Appealing to the states highest court. Here is cross speaking it earlier to this hideous creature known as kill me. Are you worried this whole thing is going to get reversed again . I still have faith in the School Board and that the first amendment is on our side and on the teachers side. We still we care about our students. We just hope that Everybodys Viewpoint is looked into so that we all can be an inclusive environment and educate children in the correct way. Greg hes not bad looking. Cross, not the other guy obviously. Okay dana, Dirt And Peterson saw this coming when he refused to Y Pronouns that he was told he had to say. No one can people can try to keep you from saying certain things, but they cant compel you to use specific words. That is like a whole new world. Its like remember that Brandeis University that lifted all those words that they said were oppressive. But this is like the reverse, this is basically pressing him for his beliefs. When you look at the balance of harm and all of those, you have to take into account that he didnt say this at the school. He said this to adults at a School Board meeting. And certainly going to far, but i do think its only a matter of time before we were all caught up in this. Greg absolutely. Greg absolutely. Like when jesse starts getting us to call him they. It will be hard for us, because we are older. Greg im sticking to calling jesse it. Jim was my favorite subject in school. I have a great affinity for Gym Teachers. I like the fact that they can just wear shorts and a tshirt to work. And get summers off. My Gym Teacher at school was named mr. Quackenbush and he used to miss gender me all the time for it he is dl, run faster you little girl. Ive been miss gender lot. My Face Wasnt on camera, and you just heard my voice and at the end of the day we get emails and it was my job to go through the emails. Your producer did such a great job in alabama. You should give her a raise. Me too, but the other way around. Greg you have a husky voice. I dont know. Greg the Floor Director laughed at that joke. Somebody laughed at a joke, finally. Asmen can i call you dave . Yes. Greg it is where you hear things, right . That is the purpose to hear peoples opinions. Was it wrong for him to go at that link there, did he take a risk that he should pay for . It is an opinion. The one thing i really love getting back to The Five, you give your opinions without worrying about whether its politically correct or not. The Bottom Line is, you can make it from a religious standpoint as he did. A lot of people are just doing it biologically, leaving gender out of it. You are defined biologically by your chromosomes. That is what defines gender. And by that definition, it doesnt matter how you identify yourself as a man or woman. I know its crazy, but nowadays satan simply thoughts can get you in trouble. What bugged me, my wife is from latin america. When biden said latin lags and said of latina. I hope that is not theres enough pushback now it balanced critical Race Theory. This guy is on the Cutting Edge rather than on the politically correct. To speak the governor in virginia can wear black face and he doesnt get in trouble . But if the governor of virginia because a Guy Or Girl or at misgenders, that can get him in trouble. That is the Bottom Line nowadays. That is b. S. Greg at kat, i agree. I think the biological argument is sound. There are incredibly brave intellectuals who are willing to go and talk about this. It was probably when he mushed it together and made it more may be, because im obviously not religious. But im somebody who im like whatever, i will call you whatever you want. I will. And they like well, what if somebody wants to be they identify as a velociraptor . First of all, thats not the same. Second of all, i wouldnt call you a velociraptor. It doesnt really affect me. But i think things like this kind of show again, so many of these controversies that are in schools and involved with schools could be solved with more school choice. Its becoming more and more apparent that there is not one size fits all government mandated solution for every single child. Greg along with defunding the police, if the democrats start calling these understandably outraged parents of her critical Race Theory or whatever if they start calling them white supremacists or a demonizing parents, they are going to lose big. Theyve got to read the room. I think thats a phrase i just coined. Good one greg you like that . Thank you. Im going to start using that regularly. You do that, greg. Greg im reading the room right now and it says go to break. Up next, calling food exotic its the Language Police neurotic. We made Usaa Insurance for veterans like martin. When a hailstorm hit, he needed his insurance to get it done right, right away. Usaa. What youre made of, were made for. Usaa everything is racist. Greg true. Is It Route to enjoy food . A Food Writer for the Washington Post Newspaper was so bad that even use the digital edition to wrap fish. We shouldnt use the word exotic when describing foreign foods. According to the Jeff Bezos Vanity press, the first problem with the word, it has lost its essential meeting. The second more crucial problem, its used particularly as its applied to food and directly lengthening the metaphysical distance between one group of humans and another. And in so doing reinforces xenophobia and racism. You know a divider, maybe stick to writing about food. Because no human can process that colds do you just barked all over us. Speaking of an exotic dish, maurice becker. Catching heat for referring to a Players Fiance as very pretty. The Tennis Legend made the offhand comment, not a backhand comment, little tennis humor. While covering wimbledon, which is like the little League World Series for tennis. Spokeswoman a Spokes Human For Women and sports who is probably ugly, something a disgusting sexist might say, condemned the remarks saying when men are comfortable talking about women in this way, never mind on live tv, it shows there is still moreto do. I dunno, jesse, wouldnt you be flattered if he said you were pretty . Hes a handsome man, got felled. Greg he really is. Im confused because i thought women love complements beer thats always what ive been told. And now you cant call them pretty . So what are we supposed to call them . How are we supposed to complement them . Greg i have no idea. If i dont know what her personality is and im looking at her, cant you say shes pretty . Greg i would try to make every complement confusing. Like hey, kat, your elbows really bring out the color of your shoes. That was not a compliment. Greg knew it is not a color, dana. Want to bet . That is what it says on the box. Its races because its a white skin color. That article has been read before. But yes, the exotic thing. I read the whole thing. If she says it is, therefore it is and if you push back on it you are racist because racist is one of those words were if you say it, that it must be true and if anything questions that you are a racist. Its not much more sophisticated than kids on the playground. Its a widely accepted and the consequences of going against it can actually cost you your job. Look that up in the dictionary by the way. The dictionary says this is websters originating in our characteristic of distant foreign land. Okay, so greg mr. Journalist. Mr. Dictionary. If you are in asia, Hot Dog would be exotic. Greg sometimes i just say things that come out of my mouth and then i forget about it. Its true. Everybody loves things that are prefaced with exotic. Its about marketing. If you put exotic in front of something, im more likely to buy it. Greg exotic dancers. What they want people to do is basically they are pressing people who have a small business selling their exotic food and exotic drinks, so now they are oppressing those people. What they seem to want is for all of us to only eat the food they grew up with. So i dunno, my mom made fried Chicken Peer thats good. I couldnt have burritos peer that would be outrageous, because i really love them. So they are racist, but the people who are against the word exotic. Any time theyre trying to do that, i turn it around and say they are oppressing other people. We should use it on them. Greg that is antirace they are saying that you are defined solely by your pigment. And there are certain qualities of caucasians that are flawed. You could say that a white woman but you couldnt say it was a pretty white woman. Greg exactly she shouldve just said shes white. Could you imagine what could i say . What could i possibly do . Hes been through worse. Greg i would just say, go back to sleep, maurice. He so pretty when he sleeps. There should be a special day where we are all allowed to complement everybody know bettet like no matter what peer to screw with these people and maka national flattery day. A national flattery day. Speak a very kind of you. Call everybody pretty and exotic. Valentines day. Greg anyway, coming up. Sensor Joe Rogan. They scream because hes not there. Well, well, well. Look at you. You mastered the master bath. You created your own style. And you yes, you turned a Sourdough Starter into a sourdough finisher. 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Dont stop your asthma treatments unless your doctor tells you to. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection or your asthma worsens. Headache and Sore Throat may occur. This is the sound of fasenra. Ask your doctor about fasenra. If you cant afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. Canceling tornado. Greg Spotify Employees whine that Joe Rogans views dont align. They want to cut his mic to suppress ideas they dont like. A lot of rhyming today. Last year, the wildly successful host had a 1 Billion deal with spotify. But according to business insider, an employee complained on their internal Networking Channel and personally bothered by his transphobic comments and im concerned with the way he might spread misinformation. You just need one outlining debag to make something problematic. They said it was the most contentious one the company ever made. But another staffer said that rogans only a small, loud minority. I think that is how dana refers to her help. Main mall, earlier this week conan obrien tackled cancel culture. Empathy is a very important word and also forgiveness, the whole concept of cancel culture. We found someone did something in 1979 that is now not appropriate they are dead to us. And i think. Yeah, its ludicrous. What happens to lets talk about this now, but people can also be forgiven if they even need forgiveness. It almost feels very soviet kind of sometimes. Greg feels very soviet sometimes. Its about time, fellas. Conan had a Talk Show for years and never thought to bring this up. Sean penn has been around forever too paid when you have two hollywood liberals same things have gone too far, theres hope maybe they can turn the tide. I thought Sean Penn and madonna would work things out. If that reference got in the older, id have to smother it with a pillow. Anyway did Sean Penn record that from venezuela . Because thats where he could find out about some of these things. Greg yes, thats true purity was a big defender of hugo chavez. Im explaining a point to people at home. Speak i figure theyre smart enough to have got a net on their own pit i dont think you have to help them not much. Greg knows his audience. Mansplaining. Greg what if i dont see myself as a man. This story about ten staffers anonymous staffers being upset about Joe Rogan happens about every three weeks. Im starting to believe that it is a p. R. Ploy, because every time they do the executives of spotify till those guys that are complaining to go pound sand. But Spotify Executives totally got it and they are like, actually defending him. Support of this feels like maybe its just one of the ways that they are trying to get some good press. Greg i should work on that here for the Show Peer theres also the chance that its just a couple of people and they are amplified by business insider, by all of these people that are from the politically correct culture that controls the mainstream media. And it happens At Foxs will beauty beautified a couple of disgruntled people or people who just want to make a name for themselves in that particular medium. And then they go, we work for abc and then they get fired. Greg lets talk about that, jessie and kat. Lets talk about some of the people At Fox that may not like us. How long do we have . [laughs] do you ever walked on the halls and you can tell so but he doesnt like you . Yes, i do. I feel that. I really sense when people dont like me. Its one of my best characteristics. Im a very good antenna for hate. I do feel it in the bathroom, i feel it in the elevator, and i feel it when i walk through the building and the security guys dont Say Hi back. I give them my book and they dont even care. I see here guys, do you want a free they wont even take it. Just big enough, i wanted to just i just wanted to put this right here. It just looks better like that, right . Right there, thats good peer just for the rest of the show. Greg lets see if they get a picture of that. That was a good idea. Hello, guys. There you go. Greg so kat, what drives me crazy about this is that and dana has a good point on this. They arent picked out about misinformation, they are Pit Stop about information. If you go over watch rogan, its actually really interesting. They talked for three hours, it is pretty great stuff. They just dont want the other side that they disagree with to be allowed any kind of oxygen. Theyre not even they are mad because theres information. Speak out and also think how much you are a failure if thats the kind of thing that you have to report to. Who are the real irredeemable losers. Something that they said ten years ago when they were teenagers but now they have had time to fully develop their brains and contribute to society. Then, or someone who was apparently so little to contribute to society that they have the time to go find the tweets from ten years ago . They are losers. Greg do you think employees of the show should be able to control what i say, kat . No. Greg thats good. Because he wouldve been gone in an instant. All i know it they should go work somewhere else. Hes making more money for the company they work at. Shut up. Greg i was going to say a nasty word, but i decided to hold back. Does anybody believe Sean Penn thought Sean Penn in this moment of reality, clarity . Greg his is probably more linked to me too and his buddies getting caught. Bingo greg up next, Peacocks Life was snuffed out because of its shout. Managing Type 2 Diabetes . Youre on it. Staying active and eating right . Yup, on it there, too. 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Ask your doctor about jardiance. Greg did they kill with a glock . Yeah, a peacock was too loud for them to go to bed so they found someone on craigslist to shoot it dead. It was a neighborhood bird, now his body is interred. According to a local report, my favorite kind, the peacock that have been visiting a Humboldt County California Neighborhood for years was found shot dead after somebody posted a Craigslist Ad taking a hit out on the bird. So it wasnt selfinflicted, dana. Many residents say they are heartbroken that the peacock, nicknamed mr. P, loved visiting their home and visitors love taking pictures with impaired there were no eyewitnesses on Hs Fathers or otherwise. But the person who requested the Peacock Assassin complained the birds loud calls were waking them up and keeping them up very early every morning. So the bird had to go. Cops say a suspect has been identified. Possibly a disgruntled msnbc employee. And no, they havent made any arrests. They are investigating for animal Cruelty And Conspiracy to commit a crime. But its like my uncle used to say, dont do the crime if you cant do the rigorous Cleanup Process that will destroy any trace of evidence. Kat, this is a terrible, terrible story. But its also amazing that you can get a Peacock Assassin off of craigslist. I mean, that is customer service. Its crazy. Right, i hear what you are saying for this is so heartbreaking. It may be really sad, im not sure its because im loud and annoying and i dont want to get shot as part of it. But this man, or die, or woman, whoever did this, i believe is a horrible person. But i will say, they do they know who this is at all this person says it is, has a crime been committed . If so, i will get a lawyer. But has a crime been committed . Where is that on the first 48 . Did you kill him . And they are like yeah, and thats it. Its a bad guy, good grassroots. Greg dana commit seems to me that the ad could have been less specific, right . Does it have to be a peacock . Could you say you need a killer for a large, feathered, somewhat arrogant bird . What if it was someone just up, up as big bird. Its because the sound of my youth, because they were all over the place on the ranch. Even if they were really loud. Yes, wild peacocks. And guess who killed all of them . The coyotes. That is what you need to do with a coyote in this neighborhood. But also, i blame joe biden. The violence in america is out of control, out of control all across the country. Greg you know John Lennon went out to a Restaurant Yesterday and he didnt see any peacocks getting shot. Must not be happening then. He did, pal. Im not going to say it. Good, jesse. You are learning. Greg how does this story speak to you . Are you going to be covering this question might no, im just going to do a montage of myself for like 30 minutes. Thank you for that idea. I just didnt think you would need to shoot it, you just couldve poisoned the peacock. Isnt that just more humane way . [laughter] greg can they fly . Only when you punch it. I do now, can they . They cannot fly. They are like colorful turkeys, right . They are very loud. Greg so youre taking the defense of the killer . Speak of a member the seinfeld episode where elaine had a barking dog that was keeping her up on night and she hired Somebo Kill The Dog . Its been done before. Speak about that was fiction. Well, sometimes they probably got the idea from somewhere. Greg kat, are there hit men . Why do you keep asking kat . Greg because shes a sick puppy, she has. To speak i would deny that. Greg she handles the peacocks. Theres a whole area of Animal Assassins we dont know about. Its become very interested in the person that looked at this ad and was like, im the perfect guy. Im the perfect fit for this. How much money did they get . Greg i have no idea no idea. He said he would discuss compensation. And where was this . The Pot Capital of the world. This couldve been a drug thief, right . The peacock was eating the. Greg all right, i think weve nailed this. Up next, peacocks or murder . That was terrible. Dont go anywhere. Be right back. Its Grilled Cheese time. Yeah, its time for Grilled Cheese. After we make Grilled Cheese, then were eating Grilled Cheese. Because its time. Yeah. Time for Grilled Cheese. Whats on the horizon . The answers lie beyond the roads we know. We recognize that Energy Demand is growing, and the world needs lower Carbon Solutions to keep up. At chevron, were working to find new ways forward, like through our venture capital group. Backing technologies like electric vehicle charging, Carbon Capture and even nuclear fusion. We may not know just what lies ahead, but its only human. To search for it. Limu Emu Doug oh are you using liberty Mutuals Coverage Customizer tool . Sorry . Well, since you asked. It finds discounts and policy recommendations, so you only pay for what you need. 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Take a look at this little Hell Cat thats a jerk all he does is he goes around the neighborhood and just runs up t and then he leaves. Is there no shame . Look at him. Someone put a hit out on him right now. Greg thats a terrible thing to say. Sorry, dana. Greg yeah. Thats the kind of dog i would like, who just knocks stuff over and that is why. Animals are jerks animals are jerks animals are jerks all right, that was a great show and a wonderful, wonderful panel and a wonderful celebration of The Five. Thank you, dana perino. Jesse watters. David esmond, kat timpf, our wonderful studio audience. [the scattered applause] evil Shannon Bream is next. Im greg gutfeld, i love you, America Shannon Hello and welcome to Fox News night. Im Shannon Bream in washington. Breaking tonight, hunter bidens work as a prompting white House Tube providing epic plan. Blasting the plan tonight, a live report just minutes away, plus we will find out what one Art Curator really thinks about the value of hunters creatio