Happy friday. Youve got to love a good Friday Night show. Good to see dr. Drew, although when a doctor what a doctor do this . [laughter] we know thats you. Thank God Kat took a Night Off from boozing and actually exercised. You look like my arm. Its be when i was half right, but she has to stay fit with her husband always on the run. Dagen mcdowell here once again. Getting back in shape, they are plotting. If only her cat would stop interfering. Greg a violent cat. So whats with democrats and . Sorry im being redundant. This week began with Hunter Biden, the democrat and Practice And Deviant having his recent tweets exposed. They would have to admit to bearing the Laptop Story like a squirrel with a knot. Made of cocaine. So how was that not the biggest scandal . A truly explosive story in order to sway an election. Its mindboggling. Just from the press, suffering and his them over trumps tweet. So what do they do . Be grateful that Anthony Weiner popped up. Its probably not the correct verb. But there he was trying to figure out how to make a buck out of his bulge. Like dr. Drew said, that is using your head. He wanted to sell the photo of his infamous shot as a nonfungible token. No who the hell wants one of those . Oh, yeah, him. Its hard to make a living when you are strapped for cash and keep Sexting Females that just got done selling Girl Scout cookies. Why do you need to make money off your notoriety . Just do what republicans do, work for a living. Heres an idea, grow a beard, change your name, and work at home depot. This Way Nobody will recognize you and you are still selling wood, just not your own. Speaking of jokes. On october you run a Zoom Call with your colleagues from the New Yorker magazine, everyone took a break for several minutes during which time you were caught masturbating on camera. He was subsequently fired after 27 years of working there. And you since then have been on leave from cnn, do i have all that right . You got it all right. Greg like Joe Biden approaching an escalator, i dont know where to begin. But imagine the meeting At Cnn where they hashed this segment out. Should a woman or a Man Interview . We dont want to excite him. Maybe Joy Behar it is free. Should we let him explain what happened, or allow him to enjoy her describing in great detail the full circumstance . Or is it on circumstance . And should we get rid of the Sign Language Hearing impaired box . We need less Hand Motion in this segment. Talk about hazard pay. Boy, if there was ever a time to social distance and wear a mask, and where is wheres the plexiglass when you need it, she mustve felt like agent starling asking Hannibal Lector questions in his cell. I heard he passed on the interview when he learned toobin choking the Chicken Wouldnt be a cooking segment. So toobin is artie back from the seventh Month Suspension and some would say he got off easy. But what did he do wrong anyway . At cnn Features Journalist on Air Pleasuring themselves for other journalists all the time. Have you seen the banter between Cuomo And Lemmon . All thats missing is the towel slapping. Maybe they should pair toobin with jim acosta. They can see was a bigger jerk. Off. [laughter] i had to work on that one for a while. He learned his lesson, from now on he will only be masturbating in person. It was certainly cringeworthy, but maybe he can start a new trend for cnn. A weekly apology for errant anchors, i can see it now. Thank you for coming in today. Its good to finally be here. Just to recap, if you are assigned a story to cover and you covered both sides of the issue. That is correct. And used verifiable sources instead of anonymous ones. You factchecked all of their quotes. That much is true. Without letting all of your personal biases get in the way. Its because thats also true. Never do that again. Im sorry. This is cnn. [applause] check out this freak show. Imagine if they werent. Do you think any of them would be around right now, of course not. They would disappear faster than Parmesan Cheese on Hunter Bidens carpet. Bottom line, democrats do whatever they want because they picked the right box of liberalism. Hes proabortion. He was the patron saint, as long as he kneeled before the lefty causes you can get an intern to kneel before you and get great discounts on the dry cleaners. So if you believe in reincarnation, lets hope we all come back as democrats. And No One is safe. Making us all equally awful. [applause] lets welcome tonights guests. I skipped my Apple Day because i didnt want to keep this doctor away. Dr. Drew even when she was a baby, her parents had a rightful rack. He such a good actor that he actually looks happy to be here. Author of the upcoming book, the respondent, actor greg ellis. And she was told the little engine that could but it couldnt, fox news contributor, kat. I feel dirty after that monologue. If that was a toned down Version Greg half an hour to an hour taking off all the bad jokes. We saw you. Bad jokes . Greg where do you stand i think this should be about redemption, right . I think that these segment on cnn was actually worse than what his crime was. Right, it was more comfortable thats for sure. Hearing about the crime but there was a lot sprinkled in. The story and the toobin story, theres a lot of code in there. Im not sure he said he was working in therapy and bettering himself. What was he in therapy for . There was a little bit of Edition Talk in there and i thought oh, hes probably identifying as a addict. But people with those kinds of disorders should not be apologizing until theyve been well into a year of treatment. As of the apologies are going to be more blaming than apologizing. And same thing with him, hes been in treatment for a long time. Somethings wrong with the spirit, as they say. His idea to use these nonfungible products, tokens, that is like, not what you call a good recovery program. So im worried about both of them. And how does Hunter Biden get away with not just the nword, but the Hennessey Comment was almost more disturbing. If you go after that, then you have to accept that the whole Biden Laptop is really an end. They got him elected, so why cant we start talking about the truth . Suddenly that open the world to the possibility of truth. I feel like there may be an opportunity to talk about what is actually on that computer for a change. Will tell you, addicts i tried to build one. I feel bad that this is the first time on the show, but at the same rate, i think its important that you are here and get as disgusting as possible. Toobin made a stupid mistake, so is that a Character Flaw . Is that really a Character Flaw . I dont know. We all make mistakes, right . Im not suggesting that i go on Zoom Meetings with my pants down and you know, i certainly go on Zoom Meetings when i have shorts on, im not wearing pants. You know, i think we have to find we have to unblock the Apology Pathway so people can what is it, the tubes . Be one i call him toobin. [laughs] i mean. Im going to try to keep a straight face on this. Greg if you got busted for anything all you have to do is sneak in your british Accent And Everybody would forgive you. [laughter] im not even really english either. Im just kidding. I think we have to we have to find a way to let him come back, let the old friend come back. Just be a little bit more forgiving. Greg i think toobin had some other past issues, but this was an honest mistake. You know what i realized what Food Banks are for now . For rich white people to do their pendants. Its like the first thing is you know, i did something bad. So i went to work at a Food Bank at all the Food BankPeople Go, please dont touch the food. Why is it only democrats . Are we forgetting about republicans . Because conservatives well, we get canceled for things much smaller than this. Listen, i think everybody talked about oh, a woman would never get away with it. Thats been said. But i want to meet the woman who is willing to test the waters on all of this. Underage dudes, crack addiction, in the workplace. May i introduce you to kat . [laughter] i did crack before i got here. To speak is a keeper of my secrets, so shes Off Limits on the show. But i am glad that toobin has been welcomed back. Im glad that Hunter Biden thats a pass. Because this pampering of Pant Stains has gone so far and is so unsustainable, it is backfiring. That means when a conservative does something like admit they are conservative, they dont get canceled. Or if you wear a multicolored dress with a breed in your hair, you dont get canceled because you are appropriating someones culture. I just cant i still think comeuppance is coming for these guys but i have a long memory and i keep a list of people who have wronged me. The guy who stood me up at prom. I waited long enough, ive waited long enough and he now looks like uncle fester. Congratulations. One more thing. This whole Apology Tour as the People Go on, they are empty for a reason. Its a mens that are required, making things right. Cleaning up your side of The Street. People looking to attack. They take you down even harder when they apologize, at least in certain situations. But theres a reason that apologies feel so empty. The idea of going to a Soup Kitchen is not making amends. Its a p. R. Ploy. Its try to clean up your p. R. Problem. Youve got to make amends, youve got to take whatever the consequences are from what youve done. Greg i dont know what the amends are for whacking it on zoom. Is there a book on amends, kat . You know, on a Zoom Call four hail marys. In confession i had that experience. The last time i went. The last word . Apologies, everyone said a woman could never get away with us, that is true. I also think that the things that women apologize for in general is so interesting. In this Zoom Era is all the studies women were getting Plastic Surgery because they didnt think they looked attractive enough on the zoom and they felt so insecure. I look so crazy, i apologize, they feel bad. This guys like sorry, i forgot to turn off my camera before [bleep]ing the meeting. s lecture, yes, sadly it is. It blows my mind. When you call it an accident it sounds like somebody just ripped his pants off. You know . Youve got to have a really bad lack of judgment. Theres a solution. When behaviors like this happen as often something much more going on. Greg ill tell you what it is. 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Over the next 10 years, comcast is committing 1 Billion to reach 50 Million lowincome americans with the tools and resources they need to be ready for anything. I hope youre ready. cause we are. Greg are you not getting hired because your pigment is not desired . Bloomberg businessweek notices that fewer young men are in the Labor Force will more young men worked on mike live at home. Ages 2534 living at home has been rising. Over that same time, theyve seen a decline in overall appointment. Theres no way to tell how many of those guys living at Home Arent working, they are always sitting there waiting to hear back. That was funny. But maybe its not their fault. Maybe its the employers who are the problem. Just this weekend, and iheartradio exec advertise a job in an email with the note we are looking at only diverse hires at this time. Meaning the iheartradio dont heart white guys. Such a stupid joke, kat. You laugh at that . The woman backtracked saying in the email that they would consider all qualified candidates. Although some are more considered than others. So whats an unemployed young men still living at home to do . Well, they can still register for the draft and not worry about women crowding them out. No diversity there. On monday the supreme court refused to hear a challenge to see men only military draft. Referring to congress was considering a requirement of what include women in the next Defense Bill paid which is progress, but its like my optometrist said to me yesterday. Greg, this is an Eye Checkup you dont have to disrobe. So other greg . Yes, greg . Greg you followed the mens Rights Movement and you look at the joblessness in the Drop Story what is the state of the young Man Today . I worry about the state of the young Man Today. Younger generations of men with drugs online addictions, addictions, not discounting jeffrey toobin. And the overall devaluation of men and males. Weve had a me to monologue, not to me to dialogue. And we really need to have a conversation and men need to be in that conversation be it i talk about this in my book. The Dv Elation of males in general. And we have to start talking about it, male mental health. You know, stayathome dads are fine, but what how are we going to break through this century old way of thinking that men are either traditional or now modern men and this toxic masculinity. It smashed the patriarchy. We need to have fathers, we need to have good men, we need to have strong male Role Models in society. Im concerned and the devaluation of men and mens mental health. So if we want equality, shouldnt we have a quality the board . Greg that would be scary. I like to see you in the front lines. You could probably handle it. Speak i would do a pavement die for you. That email that that iheartradio sent you cover a lot of business. Wasnt that an unspeakable truth for a lot of companies that essentially if you have two applicants and one is white and what is nonwhite, you concentrate on the nonwhite because you are supposed to fill quotas. You are just not supposed to say it. Thats her single that she is immoral and good. Dudes have a lot to give. Only men can look, even in the workplace, when you are and nagging them when i am making a man greg i can feel it. You can look at me and act like you care, but you are thinking about what you are going to eat for dinner, not just tonight for the next week. You seem like you give a damn. And that is a trait only men possess. I would like to have a tear just as you finish, but i cant. And also i was thinking about ribs. All of my thoughts are about ribs. But you mentioned industrial accidents. Its almost entirely all men. Men do all the really hard, ugly jobs. Do you think diversity is going to want to put women and nonwhites into those jobs as quickly as the glamorous jobs at google . They all want to be in the glamorous jobs but if you say no, were going to have you do some offshore fishing drilling, thanks, doctor. I think my job is incredibly difficult. Im a natural. Do you ever think the lady . I dont know her. Its hair, she grew it, i bought it, it works out for everybody. [laughter] but yeah, i couldnt go to war. I could not go to war appeared i have to go to the airport later and ive so much anxiety of going to the airport, so i dont take i could go to afghanistan. I dont Take That works out. Speak up when we have i just imagine kat next Year HusbandJumping Out of a plane into fallujah. That was an image. Thats right, i might have veteran. All the way, were going to go all the way. Youre going to jump out of a plane with him. No, i wont. Speak of the something in that data that was actually scary. When we are not useful, we become despaired. And opiates. Something like twothirds of those men. Greg dont smear the opiate stock. Im just saying. What did they ever do to you . Im going after the opiates. Simply twothirds of men are using opiates. That is a major deal. People using opiates in a regular basis and up dead, particularly this day because of the front and all. 50 found coming across the border. That is what killed tens of thousand. Greg if you made prescription opiates available to everybody they wouldnt go to The Street and die from fat and all. Still go to Sentinel Greg Greg have to have an in everything. I think that people who have opiate addictions will get into the nomenclature, because were supposed to call it a disorder, i say lets call it what it is pure these are deaths from a side of america war. These are fatalities of a bullet thats killing tens of thousands of americans. Greg well done. Still to greg the mask can go, but some people just cant say no. They cant say no did i say that right . Okay. Starting tuesday most of californias masked rules will disappear for those whove been vaccinated. They can visit restaurants, gyms, and a few other businesses that still exist. Enjoy your cafe dining, dont mind The Street crazies or they passed out addicts. And pres refrain from buying the homemade fudge from the trans am. Officials in the big city still recommend covering up if you are armed vaccinated and have underlying medical conditions. Or if you are in between puffs on your crack pipe, kat. Others are relaxing their Mask Mandates and causing confusion at the state level, because local governments keep flipping. Its a tough spot for small businesses asking for Vax Status could lead to confrontations, but healthy people may go elsewhere if they dont want a lecture from staff or paranoid customers. He is what they say, vaccinated rates are up and infections are down pit its time to get back to our lives. Wear a mask and you need to, but leave the rest of us alone. As you know, im vaccinated fully so i stopped wearing a mask. Except in the hot tub. Its more fun when Bill Hemmer Cant recognize me. He makes me do it. [laughter] where were you in the mask on your face . Thats the adventure. Anyway, you know what, did i ever tell you my theory that there is a new base in courtship first bases to be kissing, but now its first base is removing your mask. So now you have to move everything forward. That means ive been to at least second base with everybody in my building. I see people riding bicycles around new York City wearing masks and i mean, dozens of people in 90 degrees heat. Its insane. Something is wrong with them, dr. Drew. There is one dude in my building who i have immunity i just had to covid, im going to get vaccinated, but im not sick. Why are you covered in spots . Because this is time. [laughter] there is one dude in my building who still wears a mask. He looks like someone who was in The Hills Have Eyes and he walks around with what looks like a homemade mask made from an empty sour Cream Container sold on by a little bungee cord. And so hes crazy and everybody else walking around in a Mask Outside in 90degree heat is equally in my opinion. Greg to give us the cycle. You claim to be a doctor, doctor . This is signaling, right . This is Virtue Signaling for the probability of being covid positive after being vaccinated as was out of los angeles, is 0. 3 . There is no nuance about it, theres no nuance about it. It is categorical. And if you are wearing a mask the only person whos going to get covid is another unvaccinated person. So if unvaccinated people want to remain there, they should. So it should signal i have not been vaccinated and nothing more. Greg right, kat, when you are not wearing a mask, how do you feel . I just dont care anymore. I just dont wear a mask unless i absolutely have to. Greg dont we all Wear Masks . Dont we put up walls . Yes. Very good. I think new York People are still going to be wearing them forever. Probably also because they just got their lips done. And the Swelling Hasnt gone down pete if you want to feel not taught, just go to l. A. Every time i go there i think i packed everything and then i might come i guess i forgot my buba job. Some people think that they are fashion accessories. I thought english talk shows were quirky, this is fantastic. I mean, wow. [laughter] [applause] this is so comfortable and chatty. Greg i stole this whole thing from Big Brothers and Big Mouth from russell brand. So england, by the way, is under lock down pete i know you have a been there in 25 years. Whenever you hear a british accent you have to ask a question. Yes, my good man. Greg what do you make of the name . I say, are you offended my honor . How dare you no, look, ive been looking at the u. K. For a while now and have been very concerned about the lockdowns and the abuse of power. The government brings in these Emergency Powers and they get them quickly, but they dont give them up. The governors kept them indefinitely. Greg government can always expand. But it almost never retracts. I think it was a Lord Chief Justice came out about a year ago. This was very rare to have one of the high ranking members come out and talk about the Governments Emergency powers. What we have seen is the Law Enforcement that thing across the line arresting people. In scotland, they just passed the hate crime bill, see can be arrested for having a conversation in your own kitchen. That is insane. Im never going to scotland. I love their tape though. [laughter] up next, why on Earth CantThee Greg they got their quorums, calling the malmesbury of the biden administration has released its 2022 Budget Proposal and it includes some interesting requests including 8 Billion for old people candy. It still makes me laugh. You know what it is . Its like ripping candy and six. Which is a great thing and it makes sense. But what might not make sense to some people in funding maternal Health Care is they redefine mothers as birthing people. And that didnt sit well with some folks. Congressman Jason Smith challenged the office of Management And Budget director on the move. The budget requests 26 Million to reduce maternal mortality and eliminate racebased disparities and outcomes among birthing people. Ive never heard the term before bed can you explain what it means . There are certain people who do not have Gender Identities that apply to female or male, so we think our language needs to be more inclusive. I think the underlying issue is to try to ensure that those of color who are giving birth leave the hospital alive. And that is the issue rather than the verbiage. Greg fair point, but once again inclusivity trumps coherence. But if you just given birth, i think we can make some assumptions about your biological sex. And that is what determines your treatment, not your identity. As i told my physician during my annual checkup, either im pregnant or ate too many marbles. Turns out it was the marbles. But he still gave me a csection. I have a terrible doctor. You are a terrible patient paired [laughter] i just like to eat marbles, kat for this is a big challenge for hallmark. You got your Mothers Day cards, what are you going to do if you are the president of hallmark, although that would never happen. A speaker that would be great if i was the president of hallmark, i would have fun. People talk about this being dumb, but they dont realize they dont talk about how its impossible. We are all individuals, youre going to exclude someone down the line. What about adoptive parents . What about surrogates . As a person gives birth, thats fine. But to replace it with mother those arent interchangeable. That suggests that you just squeeze the baby out and then thats it. Then you are done. If that were the case, i would have 17 kids by now. I would come i wouldve started at 15 and wouldve gotten to meet you way earlier, drew. You dont just squeeze out a fully functioning human. I do it all the time. Its not that that concerns me greg the phrase birthing people, it sums like a primitive tribe from the middle ages. Look at the birthing people. Its them. No, im a nonbirthing person what should we do . I want to be a birthing person. My mother read me that Childrens Book when i was younger. I think that all men should just be referred to as a delivery vehicle. Or insemination assistant. Lets remove everything that is important out of the language. My dead mother claimed that her greatest achievements were raising her two kids. Probably not. But she would just say it, Yall Need to get The Hill over here. Greg theres reasons, and its always the to shield the truth. Theres no you cant get into debate once you have the phrase birthing mom. Its almost a shield. Its linguistic manipulation. Its like the changing of words, the etymology of words. You dont have to change the meaning of the words written in the law. So we are consistently seen this overturning of words that meant one thing and the next thing and no birthing people i mean, come on. So doctor, lets do a little hypothetical situation where you get the call, weve got a pregnancy. The birthing person the birthing person is coming in. Well wait, you have to know. That birthing person could have a prostate. Thats exactly right. People seem to of lost track of the fact that doctors are biologists. So will we talk about is the biology. Just call it x, y, x, just give us the chromosome. And the medication they are taking pete if they are changing hormones, whatever it might be, but the biology is all that matters to us as clinicians in terms of treating people with biological conditions. Is mtv going to change their name to team birthing person. Greg Tina Birthing Person up next [ Me And You by barry Louis Polisar ] Me And You just singing on the train Me And You listening to the rain Me And You we are the same Me And You have all the fame we need indeed, you and me are we Me And You singing in the park Me And You, were waiting for the dark Greg Welcome back, lets find out if we did anything wrong this week. Well, greg, hes actually the factchecker At Cnn. Hes incredibly busy these days. But first up, lets hear your comments from monday about the body mass index. Director mike, lights, camera, faction. Weve shifted the definition so that everybody is obese. Like by definition. Well, it looks like you are partially right. According to the nih and the cdc, the threshold for being considered overweight was lowered in 1998 from a bmi of 27. 8 to 25. So not everyone has to say is considered obese, but the change brought u. S. Definition in line with the World Health Organization and those guys are never wrong about anything. Greg you have a fat face. Its been outdated and overrated. Weve got to move on, greg. Greg cat, lets listen to your comments from monday on postpandemic friendships. Magic mike, hit it. If you want to be hot, look odd, you actually need uglier friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Finally, we come to it. Okay, this is technically true, but morally wrong. I dont worry about that. Clearly not. But its actually a cognitive bias known as the ugly friend of fact and its real according to a 2016 study. Yeah, no you go ahead. In this case you kind of do. Ashley, if we could, lets show a pick of my friend isaac. We go clubbing together on the weekends. But weve got to move on. Lets finish where it all began with my man, greg. Greg, lets take a look at what you said tuesday about twitter trends. Roll it, mike. Greg heres an interesting fact i learned today. Twitter trends are based on really small numbers. Anywhere from 12001900 tweets over a six Hour Period can get a twitter trending. That is nothing. Welcome a Social Media analysts can only guess how twitters Trending Algorithm works because it isnt public. And this is fun, i happen to find the shoddy Marketing Site you got your information from. Fun fact, the author of that research had her Twitter Account suspended. There you go, because she was telling the truth. She paid the price. And in fact, most twitter users see trends tailored to them, which makes sense when i borrowed your Phone Yesterday and saw the top tweets were for platform shoes. Greg, it looks like im being told im out of time. As of got to go, ill see you next week. Greg all right, bye. [applause] is that gouda shaped like a foot . Or maybe youre just projecting your own insecurities . What . sniffs feet ohhhh yeah keep your feet fresh with Gold Bond Foot powder. They were frantically checking their twitter mentions. They are obsessed with what people say about them. He can barely take himself away from the basket. What are they saying about me . Set your dvr every night. Dot missed another episode. The global attacks, infrastructure, a lot happened over the weekend. This is why we are live 10 00 a. M. Tomorrow. Hello, everyone i am lawrence jones, kennedy and it is 5 00 in new York City, and this is the five. You havent been to the border. And i havent been to europe and i dont understand the point that you are making. I have been to the border and i will go again. At the u. S. Mexico border, would you g