Transcripts For FOXNEWS The Greg Gutfeld Show 20240711

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He will be Joking Antilles Croaking which could be soon. We never know what comedian joe machi is up to. After old yeller he stood up and collapsed she stood up and clapped. Sub six and the Roast Marshmallows of her mouth fuji my massive sidekick and host of fox nation tyrus. We have a bunch of your questions you submitted on a place called facebook and twitter and they are in this sheriffs hat. Dont ask me why. I met a guy at a bar. He left his hat in my room. What can i say . As always these are directed toward one including myself and i will take them out of this here hat or the first question, i like this question for people that are stuck at home this will make you feel better. Since you didnt get to travel and see your family. What was your worst vacation . Tyrus . Gee the jury is still out on this one but i went on a Family Vacation which is always fun and i had we will call it a misunderstanding at dinner. Apparently the waiter and the manager of the restaurants were huge fans of the show and continued to bring me free drinks and tell me how great it was and apparently didnt sit well with the other members of the table. I got into what you would call an argument where he said you know what, i dont need this, im going home. Once i commit to the i am going home youve got to go home. Unfortunately it was around 7 00 p. M. In the evening and most of the lights were out so when i went to the front desk and said i need a car police to take me to the airport because im out of here. They were like sorry sir bear out until the morning and i couldnt go knock on the door at mitt wrongdoing because thats what an adult would do. I paid for another hotel room where i had to pay to change my ticket and i lost my first class even had to sit in the middle seat with big fans. But as bad as that was which should have become a leak and became an island it was 24 hours on a plane. I didnt bother to check that it didnt have a connection. Greg kat your entire life is a vacation. When i was in fourth grade we went to a religious retreat that was run by catholic clergy. Greg already i like it. Tom is a catholic. We did some Hiking Birdwatching slept on plywood but that was the fun part. After we went to Niagara Falls and i ended up dealing really sick so i had to spend five days in the cabin with no airconditioning up when when i got home i was diagnosed with strep throat double Air Infection in the sinus infection. My mom said its good you got sick because there was more lord there. I dont think she said it that way but yale. The fun part was the after, very sick. Greg well you know what that is said. Offer it up. For the souls in purgatory. Greg you and tom would have gone on vacation you would have loved every minute of it. You would have called it an adventure. To this day i sleep on planks, greg craig i put the planks on my bed. Greg does that make you cross . A terrible joke or this is really a privileged question. When i was a kid no vacations. I was said dad can we go to disney world . Look at the viewmaster. Did we ever go on vacation and he said go to the pool. We had a pound pool. Greg oh my god god the pound pool. That was my nickname. You cant get away with that. I went to the Virgin Islands and bought 20 damages. I went swimming in the beautiful blue water and i turned around and the walrus was eating my sandwich. I spent 20 on that. Greg did you catch his impression . By the way of Virgin Islands not as advertised. I would say do i go for one set of or do i go for the one, like the exotic vacation that turned out to be not exotic. We went to a foreign country and we chose the hotel that was the President S House for they turned it into a hotel. Thats cultural but when we got there it was a stinky house and they still have the chef there that couldnt cook. It had an infestation of these massive vehicles. Thousands of beatles. Whenever you turn on the lights there were thousands of eagles. My wife didnt like it. It was not romantic in the food was terrible and then there were these great dogs is circled the beach waiting for you to collapse. I wont say what country this is because i think it was my fault for choosing a terrible place. We barely got out of there alive but i had another vacation, the worse vacations by the way are staying with peoples families. If you dont know the persons family it can get really really bad. I talked about this on the five last thanksgiving episode that has already aired and it was great. When you are with somebody elses family there have to be a number of wild cards that dont know about. You learn a lot about the person you are with when you are around the family. Greg i stated a place that had an out door showered while i was taking a shower after i had exercise they looked up and there was a shadow on the slats of the floor and there was somebody over it looking down. The important part of the story was that you actually had exercised. Was at the mom or the dad . Greg it was the mom. Course it was. Greg by the way it happened early on the vacation so i had four days to spend with them knowing that she was a peeper. I took of. Shower so i looked good. But you cant say anything. Greg tell a friend of mine that her mom is a . We started dating for a while and it didnt work out because of the age difference. Okay, next show backs next question. I have to find the question here. Thats too serious. How about this one . What was your childhood dream job . Did you ever anticipate that you would he my favorite person to watch on tv. Thats from colin i dont know who hes talking about. But, i looked at joe and i go. Tom, what was your childhood dream job . Its funny because i never wanted to be a performer but i used to love musicals but i thought that was life so i expected id get a job as a salesman or insurance and i were just saying and work all the time. Im making the coffee. I thought it was going to be a big musicals so who would want to reform when you can sing and dance in a regular job . Greg that such a bizarre work respective that im just going to be a performer at work treaty would be institutionalized. Its a complement. Imagine how exhausting would be to be close to me. I wanted to live with a bunch of lizards. I wanted to be a lizard lady like jane goodall but lizards. Greg you kind of do live with lizards. Close. And how do you pronounce the large lizard . Im ephratah will screw that up. I thought it would equal the bee a bodybuilder. You made it. People would be like wow that guy has a great body and then youd get trophies and as i got older i dont have to work that hard. Greg that is amazing because when you were a kid, im aging myself that they had the bodybuilding championships on the Wide World Of Sports in you with look at it and youd go oh my god i want to do this. I want to be this big as it seems like it could be a superhero. You have no idea about the roigs. We move on. I want to do that and i wanted to be in a derby like smashed up cars. That was a big deal. Like evel knievel. I wanted to be evel knievel. You kind of are verbally. Greg do you know who wrote me an angry lever angry letter . Thats where you got the letters from coming evel knievel. Greg that thing where you review a product and is a product for Muscle Soreness or arthritis and he would be the spokesperson. I had written the article saying it probably didnt work and he wrote me like a twopage letter front and back with shaky lines because you could tell he had broken every bone in his body. I still have that letter. And he is one of your idols. I lucked out. I as a kid i remember doing rants because we were broke so i would tell everybody i was going to play foot tall or be a wrestler and actor. I didnt put in the fox news country but her thing. It was part of the tv thing. The only thing i did wrong was i didnt specify longevity. Im going to do all these things and of course you can and ironically i have. You cant do them all at the same time. I did not anticipate the firing in between so i have this master plan of everything i was going to do but i said i was going to put by my Mom A Sports Car car and a house and they hold each of those things. When you make it they think you make Tons Of Money but i had all these awesome plants. I didnt realize that each one you are supposed to do one and be good at that one thing and then you retire. Not me. I keep trying to go back to my childhood to make sure didnt ring anything else up like prison guard or Getaway Car Driver because things go downhill. Greg Getaway Drivers was a big thing. My look just two weeks away Sunday December 13 columbia speedway, speedway in South Carolina sunday, sunday, Sunday Special Guest tom shillue. Get your tickets at g. Gutfeld. Com. Crest gum detoxify. My gums are irritated. I dont have to worry about that, do i . Harmful bacteria lurk just below the gum line. Crest gum detoxify works below the gum line to neutralize harmful Plaque Bacteria and help reverse early gum damage. Crest. Tturning downhe temperature, dad. Ow. Thunk, lock the doors. Locking doors. Thunk, dim the lights. Dimming lights. [ croaking ] goodnight, honey. Goodnight. [ laughs ] thats my leg. Aw pft, pft. Evolve your home security. Get the peace of mind, safety and convenience of xfinity home. And dont forget to catch the croods, a new age now in theaters. Rated pg. Greg does she really fake youre willing to fake . Oregon governor has a message for States Residents this holiday season, call the cops on your neighbor if they break or covid rules. This is no different than what happens if theres a party down the street and its keeping everyone awake. What do neighbors do . The call Law Enforcement because its too noisy. Greg she has never been invited to a party come its so obvious. She really imposed a twoweek freeze on organ that limits gatherings to no more than six people at no more than two households. Violators could face 30 days in jail, massive fines or both. Of course she didnt call out the protesters and didnt call out the protesters a summary there. Law enforcement officials said they dont plan on enforcing browns rules. Something tells me this woman is in your view of the antichrist. She really is and at this point we cant get angry because she started ignoring them. My favorite thing President Trump said was he called his rally of peaceful protest and that really should catch on. We just have to stop listening to them and ignoring what they say. It its time for Civil Disobedience on this issue. We cant take them seriously any more. Here are your new restrictions, no. Greg kat shes trying to turn our country into a nationstate or its. Oregon likes cops now . Its a 30 days in jail thing. Whether you end for . I had two people over and this is in new york because by the way not a publication that is egg on resistance to governor Coronavirus Restriction saying theres little to no evidence of small gatherings are massively contributing to the spread of this. In oregon is limited to six even if its outside. There are three places that there is evidence and thats Health Care Facilities nightlife and correctional facilities. This lady is saying if you see something doing something that theres little to no evidence that contributes to the spread call the cops and potentially send them to one of three places where we do have this problem. There is no logic to this. Greg i would say they are drunk on power tyrus. I think they are drunk on their themselves but i think they are drinking their own bathwater. Drinking your own is just arrogant. I would call it hypocrisy but with hypocrisy there is a form of ignorance but i guarantee you if theres a Fly On The Wall where shes at she will be just fine. They do this all the time. Telling someone, i guess i was thinking about her name is kate, correct . Shes trying to replace karen with kay. The idea of encouraging people to call the police on their neighbors for no other reason then you are staring through their window, so now when i grew up it was frowned upon to be a sorry, peeping tom. Now its encouraged to call number one is there an emergency . I just witnessed an elderly man has Mashed Potatoes to what appears to be his grandchild with three people taking pictures. We will be right there. Should we kick in the door . Everybody on the ground. There are only four here. Drop that ladle. This is sadness. We talked about this on our podcast you can take recommendations and basically someone needs to be honest and say do the best that you can with what youve got it if you are willing to have your family together in your own home here at the risks and make the best decision. Thats what comes from dr. Fauci and responsible doctors. Dr. Dont tell you what to do, they advise you what to do and they are telling you what to do for no other reason so they can get on this and have us talk about it. Greg have you ever call the cops and their neighbors or have the neighbors ever called the cops on you . I got caught loitering once but i was acquitted. Im going to play devils advocate here but its obviously not constitutional for the executive Branch Member to make a law that says you cant assemble with who you want but its a great time to be a snitch. I would love calling 911 saying it looks like they have too many friends over there. The friend police. It seems like they are more popular. Greg thats what this is. Im fine. Greg its one of those things, there was something shameful about calls like if the neighbor has allowed bar kids like calling the police on them, you just cant do that. It puts you in a different place in the universe. You are the person even if that party is loud if you have to get up at 5 00 a. M. And they are parting at 2 00 a. M. , thats different. I had to call the police could actually call the concierge. I think its a limit. Give them till 10 00 and then you do the walk over. Say turn it down a little bit. Greg i dont like going to someones house and telling them to turn it down because you end up with another drunk person. They call downstairs about the music. I was doing a podcast, listen call the cops because im not doing anything wrong. Sometimes i call the cops on my own party. Break this up. Greg when the cops come to my party i just assume they are strippers. All right, take it off. Anyway. Is that always the go true uniform . I got the hat buddy matt. He asked for the chaps and im wearing them. When we return we continue to bare our souls and answer questions, especially yoursrsrss since pioneering the suv in 1935, the Chevy Suburban has carried many things. Nothing more important than family. Introducing the most versatile and advanced Chevy Suburban and tahoe ever. Understanding how to talk to your doctor about Treatment Options is key. Today, we are redefining how we do things. We find new ways of speaking, so youre never out of touch. Its seeing someones face that comforts us, no matter where. When those around us know us, they can show us just how much they care. The first steps of checking in, the smallest moments can end up being everything. Theres resources that can inform us, and that spark can make a difference. When we use it to improve things, then that change can last within us. When we understand whats possible, we wont settle for less. The best thing we can be is striving to be at our best. Managing Heart Failure starts now with understanding. Call today or go online to understandhf. Com for a free hf handbook. Greg there are too many Great Questions that we have taken earlier so we are back with more of your mail. This is from heather. Heather thomas, heather locklear, Heather Johnson who lives on my street. When you were in middle School Grades six through eight, thanks for the Clarification Heather what was your biggest challenge or fear . Kat . Growing up to have a mediocre life. Greg mankiw got rid of that. Ive really never did. The mold in my eyes cause me a lot of stress. Nobody notices until you pointed out. If a person does the twitter account thats the problem. It grew back in my 20s and i said it might destiny. Greg moles cant disappear and grow back. I beg to differ. Which gender would it be . Greg i guess moles can be female i dont know. Tom did you have any fears . I did not. I had no challenges. Some people thought i was nerdy. Greg i think that is cared categorized as being a nerd. I am a. Thats different than a nerd. A is a nerd with a lot of confidence. Do you want to go out and date . I would never grow with you. I will call you next week. Stockers keep rules. I dont call the cops though. They keep it to myself. Greg its good to have you is the neighbor then. You are starting to frighten me. Joe i dont even know where to start with you. Middle school, not that long ago for you. Those were tough times. The kids are in a big group for the first time in you are trying to act cool and be an adult. I was a kid and i didnt have that confidence that tom has so the hard thing for me was tried to embrace who i was as someone who is rather. Now you exude confidence. Greg you make it work for you. Once i hit puberty and got the bodybuilder to seek everything came together. Greg tyrus you are always a big kid. Yeah but i created robbins for myself. I moved around a lot so i used to make up who my dad was so i wouldnt feel bad about the father and son stuff like that. At first it was Robert Farris from the chiefs. Its Basketball Season and thats why hes not coming. Its really far from california. And it was James Earl Jones and i was going to school and i went to a Magnet School. Fifth grade, my dad is doing a movie right now James Earl Jones and apparently the Vice Principal was an extra who worked on some stuff with him and he said oh i know your dad. [bleep] but i used to do that a lot because people especially at a Magnet School my mom worked two jobs so she wasnt coming to do anything. When i was in sports people were like when is your dad coming . He is coming. Hes in the nba yearround playing basketball. It got around and apparently the Vice Principal was a blabbermouth. He said this kid is a liar. Hes telling everyone the James Earl Jones as his father and the teacher is doing this. The voice of darth vader. I didnt know he was darth vader. I saw conan the barbarian. We kind of look alike a little bit. They were storylines. Greg they were narratives. We have a good question from alicia. What selfless act was done for you that have the most impact on your life and who did it . I already now my answer but kat i will ask you. I would say when i was living in l. A. At 22 i was on fox news and a the woman who still works there in the Radio Department gave me my demo tapes in my squalor of part apartments. I had Garbage Hanging from the cabinets. She sat there with me and helped me record. She probably left with some sort of illness. Greg i would have thanked greg gutfeld for putting me on red eye. Joe. It was such a big break for me and this comedian coming up in the world. It was a real shot in the arm. Its the reason i stopped living with rodents. I can give you that. Was that question from greg . Greg for real. One time my dad told me the story about how we used to bowl with the former champion boxer and it donned any he doesnt roll anymore. Probably he gave up holding because he had kids to raise and sometimes the biggest sacrifices are the things people dont do any more and my parents gave up a lot for me and im certainly grateful. Greg there you go. Wow. My parents didnt give up [bleep]. Greg somebody give up something for you, right . It must have been somebody. James earl jones. He came to my school when i said everyone was laughing at me and he showed up and brought me my lunch. See you around, kid. I never forgot that, James Earl Jones thank you for showing up at my Sixth Grade Class that day in proving all of them wrong. Greg is it true about joe namath . I didnt see it going this way but i will take it. This whole show is a testament. Calling in sick that they allowed me to guest toes and the night before we went to dinner. I did not put anything in your food. Greg oh boy. Somebody married me. Thats pretty selfless. Yeah wow. Thank you. Greg i won this round. Nobody can watch this. You chose to make a joke about James Earl Jones . Greg im very obnoxious. They had to put up with me 24 7. We will talk about bidens not if you have medicare, listen up. The medicare enrollment deadline is only days away. 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Does it include dental and Vision Coverage . Well, if not, maybe its not the right fit. How about hearing aid, glasses, and even telemedicine, at no additional cost . Maybe theres a better fit for you. Call healthmarkets now, or visit healthmarkets. Com for your free fitscore. They can instantly compare thousands of medicare plans with all these benefits and more, including plans that may let you keep your doctor and save money. Healthmarkets doesnt just work for one insurance company. They work to help you, and they do it all for free. Having helped enroll americans in millions of policies, while earning an aplus Customer Satisfaction rating from the Better Business bureau, you can trust healthmarkets. With the annual medicare enrollment deadline coming, go to healthmarkets. Com, or call right now. Your insurance marketplace. Healthmarkets. Find your fitscore and get your answers today to get the most out of medicare. Call now. Greg he has got a plan to make his cabinet land. Joe biden announces top cabinet picks this week week made a clear Demonstration Plans to reprioritized global interest. Of course the media couldnt be happier. I was talking to democrats who said it felt like we were being rescued from this craziness for the last 40 years and hear the superheroes come to save us all. Greg rescued from what . Feeling bad . If youre looking for a job its never better time than to be an Establishment Hack with a terrible record. Looking forward to people like Antony Boykin is Secretary Of State Alejandro Mayorkas as secretary of security helping foreign and festa gators. Its shaping up to be a whos whos list of who but the biggest john kerry as some kind of climate wizard. He knows how to cool the planet down because he was alive during the ice age. He inspired less confidence in bryants daughters diet pill. Its a tough pill to swallow but not as tough as this. [laughter] greg im underwhelmed by that video. Do you have any hopes for these choices at all . I dont have much in the way of hope that he is not going to pick the best and the brightest because he has said hes going to avoid picking any sitting Congress People are senators because they dont want to lose any seats so hes less concentrated on having an effective cabinet then hanging onto votes in power could shame on him. Greg that is such a great point. Im stealing that for the fight. Im writing this down. That means Something Else for them from kat. Are you worried about were . He might as well of hired a Giant Medaling Drone treat people are going on about his experience. That truly is a lot of experience being a called in the war machine. Everyone in the media talks about his success with diplomacy and thats true but its not the whole story. He was a major supporter of obamas Libya Campaign and that didnt go so well. Saudi arabia didnt go so well a Chief Adviser to biden when biden voted for the iraq war. He still says obama didnt do enough in syria. And thats to see how democratic hated police and they are antipolice but they want this guided be a cop of the entire world. Greg i thought with roque that habit. Tyrus what are your thoughts in general . I like to see people pat themselves on the back before they do anything. I always think thats great. In a horror movie ive ever seen it so happy and great. This is the best camping site ever. Oh my god we did it. Lets get the camp liar. I will be right back. Im going to go in the shed. Ill be right back. I try to keep an open mind but when i see the media, they are saving us. From what . Once again and we were talking about this on the break they are going to be so thirsty for some type of drama. They will continue to go after the president because they miss him. All therell pics with all their issues which will once again sour the American Voter and they will be in the same position where they were or where they have these great plans and they will lose house seats and lose the senate and in four years they will lose the election. They are learning from past mistakes. Democrats just dont get it. Greg they are going back. Joe. Im really knocking this one out of the park. I always say the more time that goes on between the original and the people that second act is going to be worse. We have had four years of the obama swap cabinet and its coming back. If you like endless war and you like people like the russian hoax you will get more of the same but i think thats going to be a star wars theme. Greg we talked about this on the break. They are priding themselves on being a boring administration and they are being boring doesnt start wars but thats where they start import them. Four years of the same excitement under trump where people were delirious. One side was having a Mental Breakdown and the rest of the planet had no idea what to do and what happened . May be boredom leads to war and the opposite of order leads to peace and we are heading. Into a war. Nobody wanted to be that one guy who pushed trump. Even north korea was like lets send them a nice letter. Are you crazy . Nobody wanted to be that country. I dare you. Greg you listen to these poor souls talk about how they were kept up at night because of trumps tweets but think about the parents who got body bags. There were fewer body bags into peoples homes that you are all [bleep] over tweets. Sorry, thanksgiving. In the media they claim they just want to stop talking about it that they will continue to talk about trump for the next four years. Greg exactly and then he comes back and talk back to people. Its going to be better than the first. This will be godfather to. This will be aliens. This will be aliens. We can do better than evil dead. Im going through this in my head now, movies and i should just shut up because we are running out of time. Coming up shillue and Tim Videos Robinhood believes now is the time to do money. Without the commission fees. So, you can start investing today wherever you are even hanging with your dog. So, what are you waiting for . Download now and get your first stock on us. Robinhood. Its moving day. And are doing the heavy lifting, jess is busy moving her xfinity internet and tv services. It only takes about a minute. Wait, a minute . But what have you been doing for the last two hours . Delegating . Oh, good one. Move your Xfinity Services without breaking a sweat. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Xfinity makes moving easy. Go online to transfer your services in about a minute. Get started today. Greg you know the best part of the Holiday Weekend thats to bryants daughter jokes. Some of our favorite videos of the year. Back in early march was warranted in due so well that democratic primary. We asked what that meeting must have been like to take a look. With that hit pretty hard on tuesday and i think its time we seriously think about. My experience fighting racism in the south . No. Firefights like you never saw. They will never forget. When we hit normandy it was like nothing youve ever seen. No was going to believe you fought in world war ii. Im pregnant with an alien baby. You are 70. Are you saying im 272 the pregnant . Check this out. We dont tolerate age shaming. You are fired. Goodbye, good diet. All right, okay so who won last night . Joe biden. Okay so now i identified as joe biden. Im not his father. Thats it i got slammed for that too. Im not his dad. I just need to figure out what song im going to dance to at my victory party. Im going to dance on out of here now guys. [applause] greg too bad she didnt win or anything because thats a great liz warren impression. Heres a moment when liz called joe biden out to his running mate with a special guests. And now joe biden face times with warren. Hey liz adds chopra to have a problem. Is a woman of color im totally qualified to speak on these issues. What did those hornets ever do except play great basketball . Thats why you need a vp who knows about this stuff. Just ask my friend michael jordan. We played together for the chicago in the 80s. Did somebody say 80s . C hunter, is that you . Thats my friend nancy we started go Womens Suffrage Movement with our roommate in college susan b. Anthony. I told them everything i know about racism, donald trump and of course Donald Trumps racism. Sounds that were cut from the same cloth. I think he still alive. Catch and release, hunter, catch and release. Greg tom shillue that was an instant fan favorite and we can only wonder what we should do next. Now adam schiff starts his new job. Can i get a large cappuccino please . Named . Mike. I dont like it you. I shall call you derek. A large cappuccino, coming up. A cappuccino for derek. Did you just start at starbucks . Do you need room for cream . A large cappuccino for derek. Enjoy. Thank you . Greg well done. All three covid. Those were the days. We will be right dwreg we are out of time. Thanks to tom shillue, joe mackie, kat, tyrus. Im greg gutfeld. Trump legal team promise take election fights to the supreme court. Meanwhile Operation Warp Speed is moving ahead as covid19 cases surge across the united states. Good evening im jon scott and this is the fox report. President trump continues to claim widespread vote or fraud as he speans the weekend at camp david. Yesterday his campaign suffered another setback, when a federal Appeals Court rejected its effort to challenge pennsylvanias election results. Also high on the president s priority list Operation Warp Speed. The Wall Street Journal is reporting United Airlines is already preparing to fly pfizer covid19 vaccine to d

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