was crying for help. >> every relationship i had, i lost it because i was too busy fighting for y'all. really. and i've only lost because y'all. forgive me, lord. i'm so sorry. ♪ >> this is my first time looking at lake michigan in this very spot since that day. i drove my car right down to the side of where land ends and sat there contemplating taking my life and driving into the lake. i had my foot on the brake, the car in drive and my gun in my hand. my intent was to shoot and be in that lake.