>> brian: give me an example. >> a school environment, spelling bees, chess clubs, science fairs, these things allow kids to use their mind academically, but also they're there for many other reasons, not just the final score. they make friends in these environments. they learn to master different material. >> brian: stop talking about winning with them. >> stop talking about winning and losing all the time. and so they also can do swim meets, sports teams, boy scouts, all these things get kids ready for the stress of competing. but it's in a safer environment. what kids need is to be taxed, but not overwhelmed. you're trying to watch that fine line with your kid so they can face that competition out there in the real world. >> brian: is joe montana born as the cool joe or was he -- did he become that through great parenting and great coaching? >> as a san francisco guy, grew up watching joe montana, joe was clearly born as a warrior. able to handle that incredible stress in those crucial moments and what goes with that is that