for retired for 18 months and i called him come back on active duty and come to war and he did. so that was the first people i let down were those, the soldiers. and i thought i'd let down the mission, but you know, for someone who believes in you for-- you've been married more than 33 years at that point, the one person who's esteem and whose love was most important to me was annie. she'd been an army brat and married me right after i got out of west points and we'd gone through every step of this together. she never complained about the deployment and gone to the funerals, was there when i came out of surgery and every step she'd been there and i had to go and tell her that it was over, because her life takes a hard right turn as much as mine. so, i got out of the car and the one beauty is, i thought i knew the response i walked in and she was standing in the entranceway and i said, it's