it's 90 degrees every day. how are you still 300 pounds? alabama, if it wasn't for football nobody would know who you are. louisiana, an open container law is not a culture. tennessee, every time a country music star gets her hair done a polar bear's house melts. kentucky, no matter what you accomplish, when anyone says hillbilly we're all going to think of you anyway. missouri, the show me state, you can't call yourselves that and then have nothing to show us. arkansas, let me ask you a question, arkansas, what would you do if walmart didn't have their headquarters there? you'd be back at your old job of throwing pocket knives at each